第十一章: 清单 The Two Things At The Very Top Of My Things-I-Never-Want-To-Do List
I could feel the drive, the need, to get on my feet and lead them. The compulsion grew, and I fought it uselessly, cringing on the ground where I was.
我能感到一股冲动，一种需求促使我站起来带领他们。我趴在地上，无力地想要推开这股渐强的使命感。
Sam started moving the others into formation while I was still on the ground. Embry and Quil were at my sides, waiting for me to recover and take the point.
我还卧在地上的时候，山姆开始帮其他人编队。奎尔和恩布里在我两侧，等着我站起来。
There was fear in the pack, not so much for self but for the whole. We couldn’t imagine that we would all make it out alive tonight. Which brothers would we lose? Which minds would leave us forever? Which grieving families would we be consoling in the morning?
一种恐惧感弥漫在整个狼群之间，不是个人的担忧而是所有人的。我们不能指望今晚之后大家全员而退。我们会失去哪个兄弟？谁的心声我们永远也听不到了？早上的时候我们该去抚慰哪个悲痛的家庭？
Embry whined quietly in my ear. He didn’t want to think the words, afraid that he would bring me to Sam’s attention again. I felt his wordless plea for me to get up, for me to get this over with and be done with it.
恩布里在我耳边低低地叫着，生怕脑中传递出的话语再次激怒山姆。我感到他无言的恳求我站起来，做我该做的事情，来结束这一切。
Embry and Quil huffed in relief. Quil touched his nose to my side once.
恩布里和奎尔安心地喘了口气。奎尔还用鼻尖碰碰我。
My mind began to work with theirs, to think in unison, as we dealt with these fears. Automatically, I pushed up from the ground and shook out my coat.
我感受着这份恐惧，思绪也和其他人同步起来。不知不觉间，我从地上站起来，抖抖毛。
Their minds were filled with our challenge, our assignment. We remembered together the nights we’d watched the Cullens practicing for the fight with the newborns. Emmett Cullen was strongest, but Jasper would be the bigger problem. He moved like a lightning strike — power and speed and death rolled into one. How many centuries’ experience did he have? Enough that all the other Cullens looked to him for guidance.
他们一心想着今晚的挑战，和我们的任务。我们共同回忆了曾经看卡伦家族示范如何对抗那些新生吸血鬼的场景。埃美特·卡伦确实是最强健的那个，但是贾斯帕却是个更棘手的麻烦。他的动作快如闪电——集力量与速度与一身，一击致命。他到底积攒了多少个世纪的经验？足以让卡伦家的其他人以他为范本。
I just shook my head. I couldn’t concentrate — the compulsion to follow orders felt like puppet strings hooked into all of my muscles. One foot forward, now another.
我摇摇头，无法集中精神——被迫遵从命令就像是浑身肌肉被绑上了牵引木偶的线。被牵扯着向前迈出一步，接着又是另一步。
I’ll take point, if you want flank, Quil offered. There was more excitement in his mind than most of the others. When Quil had watched Jasper’s instruction those nights, he’d been dying to test his skill against the vampire’s. For him, this would be a contest. Even knowing it was his life on the line, he saw it that way. Paul was like that, too, and the kids who had never been in battle, Collin and Brady. Seth probably would’ve been the same — if the opponents were not his friends.
如果你想攻击侧翼的话，我可以正面迎击。奎尔主动请缨。他现在比其他都要来得激动。过去那些晚上，当奎尔看着贾斯帕给其他人做示范的时候，他按奈不住要在吸血鬼身上实践这些技能。对他来说，这就像是一场竞赛。即使付出自己的性命，他也在所不惜。保罗也跃跃欲试，同样有这种想法的还有那些从未经历战斗的孩子的，柯林和布雷迪。要不是敌人是塞思的朋友，可能他也会这样的。
Jake? Quil nudged me. How do you want to roll?
杰克？奎尔撞了一下我。你准备怎么分配角色？
Seth was dragging behind Collin and Brady — Leah had assumed point there. She ignored Seth while planning with the others, and I could see that she’d rather leave him out of the fight. There was a maternal edge to her feelings for her younger brother. She wished Sam would send him home. Seth didn’t register Leah’s doubts. He was adjusting to the puppet strings, too.
塞思被柯林和布雷迪掩护在身后——利亚指派的位置。她和其他人一起制定了计划，无视塞思，我也看得出来，她想让他远离这场战斗。她对他年幼的弟弟还有着母性的关怀。她希望山姆能把他送回家。塞思不领这份情，也在努力摆脱木偶线。
Just focus on our part. The big ones. We can take them down. We own them! Quil was working himself up — like a pep talk before a big game.
只要集中在我们的部分上。那个大家伙，我们可以撂倒的。我们是他们的天敌！奎尔正不断给自己鼓劲儿，就像大赛开始前的加油一样。
Jake, Embry warned. Keep your head in the game.
杰克，恩布里警告我。专注到这场游戏中来。
Maybe if you stopped resisting…, Embry whispered.
也许你应该放弃抗争……，恩布里小声地说给我听。
I could see how easy it would be — to think about nothing more than my part. It wasn’t hard to imaging attacking Jasper and Emmett. We’d been close to that before. I’d thought of them as enemies for a very long time. I could do that now again.
比起自己的那部分，什么都不去想还来得容易些。攻击贾斯帕和埃美特的场面也不难想象，我们曾经也是那样对峙的局面，很长时间以来我一直视他们为敌人，现在只是重拾那时候的想法。
I just had to forget that they were protecting the same thing I would protect. I had to forget the reason why I might want them to win…
我只要忘掉他们正在保护的东西，也是我想要保护的。我必须忘掉想让他们胜出的理由……
My feet moved sluggishly, pulling against the drag of the strings.
我的腿笨拙地向前移动着，拼命向反方向抗拒着成为傀儡的力量。
He was right. I would end up doing what Sam wanted, if he was willing to push it. And he was. Obviously.
他是对的，我还是会被山姆的意志驱使，只要他想这样。就像现在。
Except.
除了。
There’s no point fighting it, Embry whispered again.
没理由反抗的，恩布里再度小声规劝我。
There was a good reason for the Alpha’s authority. Even a pack as strong as ours wasn’t much of a force without a leader. We had to move together, to think together, in order to be effective. And that required the body to have a head.
阿尔法的绝对权利有个好处，即使像我们这样强大的队伍，也需要有个领袖来指挥。效率起见，我们必须一起行动，共同思考。群龙要有首。
So what if Sam was wrong now? There was nothing anyone could do. No one could dispute his decision.
但是如果现在是山姆错了呢？其他人什么都做不了，没人可以推翻他的决定。
And there it was — a thought I’d never, never wanted to have. But now, with my legs all tied up in strings, I recognized the exception with relief — more than relief, with a fierce joy.
一个从未有过，也不想去想的念头划过。但是现在，我的腿被看不见的线缠着，能有这个念头让我解脱——更甚，是一种由衷的喜悦。
No one could dispute the Alpha’s decision — except for me.
没有人可以推翻阿尔法的决定——除了我。
I hadn’t earned anything. But there were things that had been born in me, things that I’d left unclaimed.
我从没有想要争什么。但是有些东西是与生俱来的，有些我曾经舍弃的东西。
I’d never wanted to lead the pack. I didn’t want to do it now. I didn’t want the responsibility for all our fates resting on my shoulders. Sam was better at that than I would ever be.
我从没想过要领导整个狼群，现在也不想。我不想肩负赋予的使命。山姆做这个比我出色许多。
The bonds fell off my body the second that I embraced my birthright.
一感觉腿上的力量稍有放松，我立刻抓住了我与生俱来的权利。
No, I told him again.
不。我再次告诉他。
I could feel it gathering in me, both a freedom and also a strange, hollow power. Hollow because an Alpha’s power came from his pack, and I had no pack. For a second, loneliness overwhelmed me.
我能感到力量在我体内集聚，一种自由，陌生，可怕的力量。可怕来自另一个阿尔法的狼群，我只有孤身一人。一瞬间，孤独感汹涌而来。
He stared at me, stunned. You would… you would choose your enemies over your family?
他凝视着我，说话都结巴了起来。你，你宁愿放弃家人，选择敌人？
I won’t follow you, Sam. Not for something so wrong.
我不会跟着你的，山姆。起码不会在这个错误上。
Jacob? What have you done?
雅各布？你做了什么？
But he was wrong tonight.
但是今晚他错了。
He jumped back a half step with a shocked yelp.
他向后退了半步，震惊地狺吠起来。
He heard it right away, heard the choice that I’d made in the sound of the Alpha voice in my thoughts.
他立刻就听到了我脑海中传递出的同样的阿尔法的声音。
But I was straight and strong as I walked to where Sam stood, planning with Paul and Jared. He turned at the sound of my advance, and his black eyes narrowed.
但是我抬头挺胸地走到Sam面前，他正在和保罗还有贾里德讨论计划。他听见我的脚步声转过身来，眯起乌黑的眼睛。
And I had not been born to kneel to him.
而且我不是生来就要对他卑躬屈膝的。
I had no pack now.
我现在没有伙伴了。
They aren’t — I shook my head, clearing it — they aren’t our enemies. They never have been. Until I really thought about destroying them, thought it through, I didn’t see that.
他们不是——我摇摇头，清楚地向他解释——他们不是我们的敌人，从来都不是。直到我真的准备去消灭他们，好好地想了一遍，我都不觉得是。
This isn’t about them, he snarled at me. This is about Bella. She has never been the one for you, she has never chosen you, but you continue to destroy your life for her!
这不是因为他们，他冲我叫喊。这是因为贝拉。她从来都不是你的，她从来没有选择过你，但是你却一而再地为了她毁了自己的人生。
They were hard words, but true words. I sucked in a big gulp of air, breathing them in.
这些话很难听，却是事实。我深吸了一口气，让空气灌入肺中。
Maybe you’re right. But you’re going to destroy the pack over her, Sam. No matter how many of them survive tonight, they will always have murder on their hands.
也许你是对的。但是比起她，你却把整个狼群推向灭亡，山姆。不管今晚之后有多少兄弟幸存，他们的双手已经沾上了谋杀。
I stared into his furious eyes. Ephraim Black’s son was not born to follow Levi Uley’s.
我对上他愤怒的眼睛。以法莲·布莱克的子孙可不是生来就要服从利瓦伊·乌利的后代的。
We have to protect our families!
我们要保护家人！
I know what you’ve decided, Sam. But you don’t decide for me, not anymore.
我知道你的决定，山姆。但是你不能为我做决定，不能为任何人。
Jacob — you can’t turn your back on the tribe.
Jacob——你不可以背叛部落。
I heard the double echo of his Alpha command, but it was weightless this time. It no longer applied to me. He clenched his jaw, trying to force me to respond to his words.
他再次使出阿尔法的叠音，只是这次无足轻重，不再对我有效。他咬牙切齿，试图强迫让我对他的话做出回答。
Is this it, then, Jacob Black? His hackles rose and his muzzle pulled back from his teeth. Paul and Jared snarled and bristled at his sides. Even if you can defeat me, the pack will never follow you!
是这样吗，雅各布·布莱克？他的青筋爆起，露出森白的牙齿。保罗和贾里德也咆哮着，挺立在他两侧。即使你可以打败我，但是狼群永远不可能跟着你！
Then what’s your plan? I’m not stepping aside so that you can protect the vampire spawn at the tribe’s expense.
那你的计划是什么？以全部落为代价让你保护那些吸血鬼，我是不会让步的。
Now I jerked back, a surprised whine escaping my throat.
现在我可以顶撞回去，一阵意想不到的悲嗥从喉咙深处流露出来。
I’m not telling you to step aside.
我没有让你让步。
Defeat you? I’m not going to fight you, Sam.
打败你？我是不会和你打的，山姆。
I could see why there was never more than one Alpha male in a pack. My body was responding to the challenge. I could feel the instinct to defend my claim rising in me. The primitive core of my wolf-self tensed for the battle of supremacy.
我终于看出来为什么一个狼群队伍中从来不会有超过一个雄性阿尔法的存在。我的身体回应着挑战。捍卫尊严的本能被激发出来。狼的远古本性就是好站的。
His tail whipped back and forth as he recoiled from the judgment in my words. Then he took a step forward so that we were toe to toe, his exposed teeth inches from mine. I hadn’t noticed till this moment that I’d grown taller than him.
他不停地甩着尾巴，一边斟酌判断我的话。接着他向前一步，这样我们就脚尖对脚尖，他尖利的牙齿就离我几寸远。直到这个时刻，我才注意到原来我已经比他都高了。
There cannot be more than one Alpha. The pack has chosen me. Will you rip us apart tonight? Will you turn on your brothers? Or will you end this insanity and join us again? Every word was layered with command, but it couldn’t touch me. Alpha blood ran undiluted in my veins.
只能有一个阿尔法。狼群选择了我。今晚你准备把我们撕成碎片吗？你会攻击你的兄弟吗？或者你停止发疯依旧加入我们？带着命令的每个字都掷地有声，但是却无法感染我。我的血管中流淌的是最纯粹的阿尔法的血。
If you order them to follow you — I’ll never take anyone’s will away from him.
如果你命令他们追随你——我是不会做拿走别人意志的事。
I flinched.
我畏缩了。
There is only one Alpha for this pack. I’m not contesting that. I’m just choosing to go my own way.
这个狼群只能有一个阿尔法。我不想竞争，只是选择走自己的路。
I focused all my energy to control that reaction. I would not fall into a pointless, destructive fight with Sam. He was my brother still, even though I was rejecting him.
我把所有的精力都花在控制那种应激反应上。我不会和山姆打无谓之战。他依然是我的兄弟，即使我拒绝了他。
I will stand between you and the Cullens. I won’t just watch while the pack kills innocent — it was hard to apply that word to vampires, but it was true — people. The pack is better than that. Lead them in the right direction, Sam.
我站在你和卡伦家之间。如果狼群杀害无辜的人，我不会不管——虽然很难用这个词来形容那些吸血鬼们，但是这是事实——狼群应该比那个要好。山姆，带领他们向正确的方向前进。
Do you belong to a coven now, Jacob?
你现在准备去一个女巫聚会吗，雅各布？
I don’t know, Sam. But I do know this —
我不知道，山姆。但是我知道的是这个——
He shrunk back as he felt the weight of the Alpha in my tone. It affected him more than his touched me. Because I had been born to lead him.
感受到我阿尔法话语份量的山姆向后缩了回去。比起他对我的影响，我的要大需要。因为我本来生来就是领导他的。
Digging my nails into the earth, I raced away from the uproar I’d caused. I didn’t have much time. At least Leah was the only one with a prayer of outrunning me, and I had a head start.
爪子深深地插入泥土中，逃开这阵由我引起的喧嚣。我没多少时间了。起码Leah算是少了个竞争对手了，还有好坏我总算开了个头。
I turned my back on him, and a chorus of howls tore into the air around me.
我转过身，背对着他，一阵齐整的低吼回荡在我四周的空中。
The howling faded with the distance, and I took comfort as the sound continued to rip apart the quiet night. They weren’t after me yet.
随着越跑越远，嚎叫声也渐渐听不到了，最终消散在寂静的夜色中。他们还没跟着我。
Today had begun like any other day. Made it home from patrol with the rainy sunrise, breakfast with Billy and Rachel, bad TV, bickering with Paul… How did it change so completely, turn all surreal? How did everything get messed up and twisted so that I was here now, all alone, an unwilling Alpha, cut off from my brothers, choosing vampires over them?
今天，好像已经变成遥远的记忆。在一场太阳雨中，完成巡逻任务到家，和比利还有雷切尔一起吃了早餐，模糊的电视，和保罗的争吵……怎么会转变地如此彻底，彻底地不真实？怎么每件事都一团糟，那么扭曲，搞得我落到这步田地，孤单一人，不情愿地做一个阿尔法，和所有兄弟断绝关系，选择了吸血鬼？
The sound I’d been fearing interrupted my dazed thoughts — it was the soft impact of big paws against the ground, chasing after me. I threw myself forward, rocketing through the black forest. I just had to get close enough so that Edward could hear the warning in my head. Leah wouldn’t be able to stop me alone.
一个我所担心的声音出现了，打断我恍惚的思考——是巨大的脚掌踏在地上所发出的撞击声，他们追来了。我更加前倾贴近地面，箭一般穿梭在墨一般黑的森林里。再靠近一些，这样爱德华就可以听见我思想中发出的警告。利亚一个人是没有办法阻止我的。
I had to warn the Cullens before the pack could get it together and stop me. If the Cullens were prepared, it might give Sam a reason to rethink this before it was too late. I sprinted toward the white house I still hated, leaving my home behind me. Home didn’t belong to me anymore. I’d turned my back on it.
我必须在狼群截住我之前，先去卡伦家报个信。如果卡伦家事先有了准备，那么这也会给山姆一个重新思考的机会，不至于太迟。我拿出冲刺的速度向着那幢我依然憎恨的白色房子跑去，把自己的家远远甩在身后。那已经不再是我的家了，我背叛了它。
And then I caught the mood of the thoughts behind me. Not anger, but enthusiasm. Not chasing… but following.
接着我收到了身后传来的思想。不是愤怒，而是兴奋的；不是追踪……而是跟随的。
Oh yes you are the hell going to stand behind Sam! Get your furry butt back to La Push and do what Sam tells you to do.
噢，是的。你应该站在山姆身后的！带着你刚长全的毛老实地回拉普西蹲着，按照山姆说的去做。
Is that an order, Jacob?
这是命令吗，雅各布？
Wait up. My legs aren’t as long as yours.
等等。我的腿没你的那么长。
I’m not ordering anyone to do anything. I’m just telling you what you already know.
我不会命令任何人去做任何事。我只是告诉你一些你早就知道的事情。
He didn’t answer, but I could feel his excitement as he kept right on after me. I could see through his eyes as he could see through mine. The night scene was bleak for me — full of despair. For him, it was hopeful.
他没有回答，但是他的兴奋之情溢于言表。我能从他的眼神中看出来，他也能看穿我的。夜晚的景象对我来说太凄凉——满溢的绝望。对他来说，却是希望。我没有意识到自己已经减慢了速度，突然他窜到我的侧翼，在我身旁和我一起跑起来。
I am not joking, Seth! This is no place for you. Get out of here.
我不是开玩笑，塞思！这里不是你的地方。从这儿出去。
My stride broke. I staggered two steps before it evened out again.
我的步子乱了，滑了两步才调整过来。
No.
不要。
Go, Seth!
去啊，塞思！
SETH! What do you think you’re DOING? GO HOME!
塞思！你在干什么？回家去！
The gangly tan wolf snorted. I’ve got your back, Jacob. I think you’re right. And I’m not going to stand behind Sam when —
这条精瘦的黄褐色小狼冲我吼道。我支持你，雅各布。我认为你是对的。我是不会甘愿站在Sam身后的，只要他——
I hadn’t realized I was slowing down, but suddenly he was on my flank, running in position beside me.
我不是开玩笑的，塞思！这不是你该待的地方。别过来。
His question brought me up short. I skidded to a halt, my nails gouging furrows in the mud.
他的问题直直地丢了过来。我刹住了脚步，爪子在泥土里拉出几条浅沟。
He plopped down on his haunches beside me. I’ll tell you what I know — I know that it’s awful quiet. Haven’t you noticed?
“通”的一声，他在我旁边坐了下来。让我来告诉你我知道的事情吧——我知道的是这他妈的安静极了。你难道没有注意到吗？
They haven’t phased back, Seth said.
他们没有变身回去，塞思说。
I knew that. The pack would be on red alert now. They would be using the mind link to see all sides clearly. But I couldn’t hear what they were thinking. I could only hear Seth. No one else.
我知道。狼群现在已经进入一级戒备状态。他们的思想相连，以随时觉察各方面动向。但是我却听不到他们在想什么。我只能听到塞思的，他一个人的思想。
Never enough wolves for two. Wow. It’s really quiet. Sort of eerie. But also kinda nice, don’t you think? I bet it was easier, like this, for Ephraim and Quil and Levi. Not such a babble with just three. Or just two.
也没有足够多的狼来分成两支队伍。哇欧，真的好安静，静得让人发毛。不过依然很不错，你认为呢？我打赌在这种情况下，对以法莲，奎尔和利瓦伊来说也容易安静地多。只有他们三个人的话就不会有那么多的喋喋不休。或者说两个人。
I blinked. My tail swished nervously as I realized what he was thinking underneath the words. It wasn’t quiet in one sense. Howls still filled the air, far away in the west.
我勾勾嘴角。我的尾巴紧张地扫来扫去，意识到他话有所指。其实并不安静，西面远远的地方，依然充斥着咆哮声。
Shut up, Seth.
闭嘴，塞思。
Yes, sir.
遵命。
If there aren’t two packs, then why can we hear each other and not the rest? I think that when you turned your back on Sam, that was a pretty significant move. A change. And when I followed you away, I think that was significant, too.
如果没有两支狼群的存在，那么怎么会我们只能听到彼此，而没有其他人的呢？当你转身背对山姆的那一刻起，你就跨出了历史性的一大步。一个转变。而当我跟着你离开时，我想那也是很了不起的一步。
Looks to me like separate packs aren’t linked. Huh. Guess there was no reason for our fathers to know that before. ‘Cause there was no reason for separate packs before.
在我看来，两支狼群之间的思想是不相通的。嗯，我们的父辈应该不知道这点吧，因为在以前狼群似乎没有分裂的必要。
Stop that! There are not two packs. There is THE pack, and then there is me. That’s all. So you can go home now.
住嘴！从来就不存在两支狼群。只有一支狼群，和另外一个我。就这样。所以你现在可以回家了。
You’ve got a point, I conceded. But what can change can change right back.
你说得对，我勉强同意。但是既然可以改变，也可以改变回去。
He was right about that part. There was no time for this argument. I fell into a run again, not pushing myself quite as hard. Seth stayed on my heels, holding the Second’s traditional place on my right flank.
他说对了。现在没闲工夫为这件事争执了。我又跑了起来，并不催促自己拼命赶路。Seth紧跟着我，跑在了我的右翼，这个位置象征着第二把手。
Run wherever you want. Makes no difference to me.
随便你去哪儿。对我来说都没分别。
He got up and started trotting toward the east. No time to argue about it now. We should be moving right along before Sam…
他站起身来先东面跑了一小段。现在没时间再为这个争论了。我们得赶在山姆之前……
There was no sound of pursuit, but we both stepped it up a little at the same time. I was worried now. If I couldn’t tap into the pack’s mind, it was going to make this more difficult. I’d have no more advance warning of attack than the Cullens.
听不到有被追踪的响动，但是我们还是不约而同地加快了速度。我现在担心的是，如果我不能听到狼群的思想，这件事就变得困难起来。对于他们的行动，我也不会比卡伦家早多少时间来提防。
We’ll run patrols, Seth suggested.
我们可以巡逻，塞思提议。
No — we sound the alarm and fall back.
不，我们拉响警报，然后后退。
I can run somewhere else, he thought, his nose dipping a little. I didn’t follow you because I was after a promotion.
我得去另一个地方，他想，抬了抬鼻头。我不跟着你是因为我准备谋求个职位的升迁。
Good answer. But then what? I don’t think…
好主意。但是接着呢？我不认为……
And what do we do if the pack challenges us? My eyes tightened. Attack our brothers? Your sister?
万一遇到狼群的挑衅怎么办？我眯起眼睛。攻击我们的兄弟？或者你的姐姐？
Go for it.
要想你去想。
Then we broke through the trees into the big lawn. The house was dark, but not empty. Edward stood on the porch between Emmett and Jasper. They were snow white in the pale light.
没过多久我们就窜出树丛，来到了开阔的大草地上。房子里有人，但是却没有开灯。爱德华正站在门廊入口处，左右两边分别是埃美特和贾斯帕。他们在微弱的光线下显得尤为惨白。
No problem. You want me to be all doom and gloom, or just shut up?
行啊。你是想让我都往坏处想，万念俱灰呢，还是闭嘴就好了？
We’ve got a problem, Seth corrected.
是我们有麻烦了，赛思不忘纠正我。
Stop being so… Took me a minute to decide on the right word. Optimistic. It’s getting on my nerves.
不要盲目……我想了一分钟才想到合适的词汇。乐观。这让我紧张。
Just shut up.
闭嘴就行。
He was finally quiet.
他终于安静了下来。
You sound stupid, too.
你听起来也傻透了。
Edward? He called the name tentatively. Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid.
爱德华？他紧张地呼喊出这个名字。爱德华，你在那儿吗？好吧，我现在觉得有些蠢。
We were less than a mile out now. I think so. Hey, Edward. If you can hear me — circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You’ve got a problem.
我们已经距离不到一公里了。我认为可以。嗨，爱德华。如果你能听到我的话——赶紧严阵以待吧，吸血鬼。你们有麻烦了。
Maybe we should be thinking something like, “We come in peace.”
也许我们应该这样想，“我们是为和平而来。”
And then we were across the road and moving through the forest that ringed the Cullens’ house. Could Edward hear us yet?
接着我们穿过公路，在包围着卡伦家房子的树林里穿梭。爱德华可以听到我们了么？
Think he can hear us?
你认为他听得到我们吗？
Really? Doesn’t seem like it.
真的？我看难。
Can do.
没问题。
I know, he agreed. Less confident now. I don’t think I can fight them, either. But they won’t be any happier with the idea of attacking us than we are with attacking them. That might be enough to stop them right there. Plus, there’re only eight of them now.
我知道，他同意地说。我也没什么信心。我也不认为我能和他们战斗。但是攻击我们同样也一定让他们不好受。这足够让他们停滞在那儿了。还有，现在他们只有8头狼了。
“They want to kill Bella?” he snarled flatly.
“他们想要杀了贝拉？”他毫不避讳地喊了出来。
“Jacob? Seth? What’s going on?”
“雅各布？塞思？出什么事了？”
I slowed and then paced back a few steps. The smell was so sharp through this nose that it felt like it was honestly burning me. Seth whined quietly, hesitating, and then he fell back behind me.
我减慢了速度，并且不住地向后退了几步。这种形态下，吸血鬼的气味太刺鼻了，简直让我烧起来了。塞思安静地呜咽了一声，犹豫不前，最后跟在了我的身后。
Emmett and Jasper, not having heard the first part of the conversation, took his inflectionless question for a statement. They were right next to him in a flash, teeth exposed as they moved on us.
埃美特和贾斯帕没有听到我们第一部分的谈话，单纯地把他没有音调起伏的疑问句当成了陈述句。转瞬间，他们就已经出现在他身旁，露出尖尖的牙齿向我们逼近。
Hey, now, Seth thought, backing away.
嗨，现在，塞思想，别过来。
“Em, Jazz — not them! The others. The pack is coming.”
“嗯，天啊，不是他们。是其他人。狼群就要来了。”
To answer Edward’s question, I let my mind run over the confrontation with Sam, moving through it backward. Seth thought with me, filling in the gaps, showing the scene from another angle. We stopped when we got to the part about the “abomination,” because Edward hissed furiously and leaped off the porch.
为了回答爱德华的问题，我按照影像倒带的顺序，把刚才和Sam的对质大致回想了一遍。塞思也帮着我一起想，补充一些细节，从另一个视角展示了故事。在想到那个“另人不悦的怪物”的时候，我们停止了思绪，爱德华发出愤怒的嘶嘶声，并跳下了草坪。
Emmett and Jasper rocked back on their heels; Emmett turned to Edward while Jasper kept his eyes locked on us.
埃美特和贾斯帕一个屈膝，就立刻反跳了回去；埃美特扭头去看爱德华而贾斯帕的眼睛仍然紧盯着我们不放。
“What’s their problem?” Emmett demanded.
“他们有什么问题？”埃美特厉声问道。
Don’t think so, we thought together. And then I added, But maybe I should go. Just in case…
应该不至于，我们一同想到。接着我又补充了一句，也许应该换我去，以防万一……
“They aren’t far,” Edward said in the same dead voice as before.
“他们并没有离地很远，”Edward用同样死气沉沉的语调回答了我。
I whined uneasily. They were separated.
我暗暗地发出一记呜咽。不妙，他们被分开来了。
They’ll be less likely to challenge me, Seth pointed out. I’m just a kid to them.
比起你，他们应该不会对我怎么样的，塞思提醒说。我对他们来说只是个孩子。
I’m outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens.
我得走了。你要接着和卡伦家合作。
Edward and I stood facing each other in the dark meadow. I could hear Emmett muttering into his phone. Jasper was watching the place where Seth had vanished into the woods. Alice appeared on the porch and then, after staring at me with anxious eyes for a long moment, she flitted to Jasper’s side. I guessed that Rosalie was inside with Bella. Still guarding her — from the wrong dangers.
爱德华和我就这样站在夜晚的草地上四目相对，我可以听见埃美特隐约地讲电话声，贾斯帕正在查看塞思消失在树林中的那片区域。接着爱丽丝出现在了门廊口，担忧得凝视了我一阵后，纵身跃到了贾斯帕的身边。我猜罗莎莉准是在屋里，和贝拉在一起。依旧保护着她，错误地走向危险。
I’m going to go take a look, Seth said. Run the western perimeter.
我先跑去望望风，塞思说，西边的边界那里。
Seth and I exchanged a glance.
塞思和我交换了一个眼色。
He wheeled and darted into the darkness. I wasn’t going to order Seth around, so I let him go.
他转过身，一头钻了夜幕中。我不准备命令塞思留在我旁边，所以就让他走了。
You’re just a kid to me, kid.
你对我来说也只是个小孩，孩子。
“Will you be in danger, Seth?” Edward asked.
“你会有危险吗，塞思？”爱德华问。
“The same one as mine,” Edward hissed. “But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now.”
“和我们同样的顾虑。”爱德华发出反对的嘘声。“但是他们有一套他们的方法来处理这件事。告诉其他人。打电话给卡莱尔！他和埃斯米必须立刻回来。”
I thought of what he’d asked me for earlier today. When it came to Bella, there were no lines he wouldn’t cross. Yeah, you would.
我想起了今天早些时候他让我帮的忙。事情只要一牵扯到贝拉，就没有他不会逾越的底线。是啊，可你还是让我帮忙了。
Sorry I didn’t do any good today. Told you she wouldn’t listen to me.
对不起，我今天没能帮上你。告诉过你她不会听我的。
He thought about it and then nodded. “I suppose you’re right about that.”
他想了一想，点点头承认说。“我觉得你是对的。”
His voice and eyes went hollow. “Worse,” he breathed.
他的声音和眼神像是被什么挖空了一样。“更糟了，”他吸了一口气。
You had to try. I get it. She any better?
你必须要去试。被我说对了吧。她有好些了吗？
“I know. I never really believed she would. But…”
“我知道，我也不相信她会。只是……”
“This isn’t the first time I’ve owed you my gratitude, Jacob,” Edward whispered. “I would never have asked for this from you.”
“这不是第一次了，我欠你一个人情，雅各布，”爱德华压低了声音说。“我真的不愿意让你这样帮我。”
“Jacob, would you mind switching forms?” Alice asked. “I want to know what’s going on.”
“雅各布，你介不介意换个形态？”爱丽丝问道。“我想知道发生了什么。”
I didn’t want to let that word sink in. I was grateful when Alice spoke.
我不想明白那代表了什么，所以当爱丽丝开口说话时，我竟觉得有些宽慰。
“Right,” he murmured.
“没错，”他小声地说。
He explained in clipped, emotionless sentences. “The pack thinks Bella’s become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the… from what she’s carrying. They feel it’s their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight.”
他用简明扼要，不带任何感情色彩的句子解释了起来。“狼群认为贝拉是个问题。他们预见……她所怀着的东西具有潜在的危险。他们认为他们有义务除掉这样的隐患。雅各布和塞思同他们的队伍决裂，就为了来警告我们。他们剩余的人今晚就会来进攻。”
I shook my head at the same time Edward answered.
我摇摇头，与此同时爱德华替我作了回答。
I sighed heavily. Well, this isn’t the first time that I didn’t do it for you.
我重重地吐了口气。好吧，我也都不是因为你才帮的忙。
“He needs to stay linked to Seth.”
“他需要和赛思保持联系。”
“Well, then would you be so kind as to tell me what’s happening?”
“好啊，那么你愿不愿意告诉我发生了什么呢？”
I’ll make a loop.
我会绕圈巡逻的。
Hey — something coming up fast! he warned me after fifteen minutes of silence.
嘿——有什么东西正迅速向我靠拢！在沉默了15分钟后，他向我发出警告。
“I will.”
“我会的。”
Seth lurched forward in a sudden burst of speed.
于是塞思重心前移，猛地加快了速度。
Edward nodded. “Let’s get inside.”
爱德华点点头。“我们进屋去吧。”
We ran in silence, and the minutes passed. I listened to the noises around him, double — checking his judgment.
我们跑着的时候，谁也没说话，时间就这样一分一秒地过去。我注意聆听他身边的各种响声，对于他的判断再三确认。
Nobody out here, Seth reported. All’s quiet on the western front.
没有人在那边，塞思报告说。所有人都在西边的地界附近，没什么动静。
Alice hissed, leaning away from me. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance, and then their eyes ranged across the trees.
爱丽丝发出鄙夷的嘘声，一副嫌弃我的样子。埃美特同贾斯帕交换了眼神，然后同时想树丛的深处看去。
They backed into the house, eyes flickering everywhere. Before they were inside, I turned and ran toward the west.
他们转身回屋，一路上还不忘警惕地四下扫视。还没等他们进到屋内，我就转身撒开腿向西边跑去。
I’ll run perimeter with Seth. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl.
我会和塞思一起沿着边界圈巡逻的。如果我走得太远超出你能接收我思想的听力范围的话，那么注意我的叫声。
“Carlisle and Esme are on their way,” Emmett said. “Twenty minutes, tops.”
“卡莱尔和埃斯米已经在路上了，”埃美特说，“还有20分钟，最多了。”
I’m still not finding much, Seth told me.
我依然看不到有什么迹象，塞思告诉我。
I’ll take half the circle. Move fast — we don’t want them to have a chance to sneak past us.
我负责半个圈。跑快点——我们可不想他们从我们的眼皮底下溜进来。
“We should take up a defensive position,” Jasper said.
“我们最好采取防御姿态，”贾斯帕说。
They may go around.
他们可能会从其他方向迂回。
Hold your position — I don’t think it’s the pack. It sounds different.
保持你原来的位置——我不认为这是狼群。听起来有些不一样。
On my way!
我这就过来！
Oh. This isn’t about Sam so much, is it?
噢，这跟山姆的关系不大，对吗？
At least the kid kept it short. It wasn’t two minutes later when I felt him in my head again.
还好这个孩子没有让我胡思乱想多久。不到两分钟，他又出现在我的脑海中。
Why’re you so down, Jake? I’ll bet Sam won’t bring the pack tonight. He’s not going to launch a suicide mission.
你为什么那么消沉呢，杰克？我打赌今晚山姆是不会带领狼群过来的，他才不会采取自杀式袭击呢。
But he caught the approaching scent on the breeze, and I read it in his mind.
但是这孩子抓住了随着微风飘来的气味，我从他的思想中读取出来。
But he was gone.
但是，他已经不见了。
Anxiously, I raced along the western border. Wouldn’t it be just peachy if I couldn’t take care of Seth for one freaking night? What if something happened to him on my watch? Leah would shred me into kibble.
焦虑、忐忑，我全力跑向了西边的地界。如果我想偶尔放纵一下自己，丢下塞思不管一个晚上，他是否还会平安无事？如果在我的照看之下，他还是出了什么事呢？利亚应该会把我挫骨扬灰吧。
I made the turn at the end of my patrol. I caught Seth’s scent where he’d turned last. We weren’t leaving any gaps.
我来到了自己巡逻路线的终点，在那里我能抓到塞思最后留下的气味。我们没有给别人可趁之机。
I sighed. It didn’t seem to matter, either way.
我叹了口气。他来也好，不来也好，并不是主要的原因。
Seth, I don’t think —
塞思，我不认为——
No, it’s them. I recognize the scent. Hold up, I’m going to phase to explain it to them.
不，是他们。我辨识出了气味。等等，我得变身把事情跟他们解释一遍。
Yep, Carlisle and Esme. Boy, were they surprised to see me! They’re probably inside by now. Carlisle said thanks.
是的，是卡莱尔和埃斯米。伙计，你知道他们看到我有多么惊讶吗！他们现在应该也已经回到房子里了。卡莱尔还说了句谢谢。
He’s a good guy.
他是个好孩子。
Vampire. Bet it’s Carlisle.
吸血鬼。猜应该是卡莱尔。
Seth, fall back. It might be someone else.
塞思，退后。有可能会是其他人。
Hope so.
希望如此吧。
Seth —
塞思……
Yeah. That’s one of the reasons why we’re right about this.
就是啊。这也从某方面来说明我们在这件事上的立场是对的。
There’s nothing out there — you got that?
一切入常——你收到了我的通知了么？
You think Bella’s going to die anyway, Seth whispered.
你认为不管怎么样，贝拉都会必死无疑了。塞思低声的嘀咕说。
When I got to the meadow, I could see Edward staring out of a dark window. I ran in, wanting to be sure he got the message.
当我来到了草坪上。我看见爱德华从黑暗的窗户后面呆呆地望着外面。我跑得更近些，以确保他已经收到了我的通知。
False alarm, false alarm, I thought as I ran closer in. Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one’s attacking. False alarm.
假警报，假警报。我边向房子靠近边想着。塞思还年轻，没什么记性。没有人来攻击，误报。
I wheeled and started loping in toward the house. Just keep out of this, Seth. Take the whole circle for now.
我调转方向，朝房子跑去。你就在外面守着，塞思。把整个防守圈都跑一遍。
Yeah, she is.
是啊，是这样的。
Shut up, shut up, you idiot! They’re going to think the pack is coming!
闭嘴，别喊了，你个白痴！你会让他们以为是狼群来了！
Oops! He cut off mid-howl.
哎呀！他乖乖地收了声。
And then he was howling. Oh, man! No way! You did not! That just plain ol’ sucks rocks, Jacob! And you know it, too! I can’t believe you said you’d kill him. What is that? You have to tell him no.
然后他长啸起来。噢，兄弟！没门！你不会这样干的吧。那是趁人之危，雅各布！你心里也很清楚这一点！我不敢相信你竟然对他说你会杀了他。那算什么？你必须告诉他，不。
Edward’s name brought other memories boiling to the surface. Seth read them in astonishment.
爱德华的名字勾起了我另一番记忆。塞思读取那些记忆的时候显得异常吃惊。
Seth seethed and I ignored him.
塞思露出懊丧的表情，不过被我忽视了。
Literally.
差不多吧。
Poor Edward. He must be crazy.
可怜的爱德华。他一定会疯了的。
He nodded once.
他点了一下头。
This would be a lot easier if the communication wasn’t one way. Then again, I was kinda glad I wasn’t in his head.
这种双向的交流让我觉得舒服多了。再一次地，我很庆幸刚才那个时候他不能听到的想法。
He looked over his shoulder, back into the house, and I saw a shudder run through his whole frame. He waved me away without looking in my direction again and then moved out of my view.
他扭头向他身后看去，我察觉到一股战栗传遍了他全身。他只向我挥了一下手，就再也不看我，消失在我的视线范围外。
Like I was going to get an answer.
没指望能得到回答的一个问题。
What’s going on?
出什么事了？
I sat very still in the meadow and listened. With these ears, I could almost hear Seth’s soft footfalls, miles out into the forest. It was easy to hear every sound inside the dark house.
我静静地坐在草地上，竖起耳朵仔细倾听。通过这对灵敏的耳朵，我几乎可以听见远在几里开外的森林里，塞思轻柔的脚步声。所以洞悉眼前这幢房子中的每个声音对我来说轻而易举。
“They’ve done us a great service tonight, Emmett,” Carlisle said. “At great personal sacrifice.”
“他们今晚帮了我们一个天大的忙，埃美特。”卡莱尔说。“一次伟大的个人牺牲。”
“What does Jacob think?” Carlisle asked.
“雅各布怎么看？”卡莱尔问。
“It was a false alarm,” Edward was explaining in that dead voice, just repeating what I’d told him. “Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He’s very young.”
“是个误报。”爱德华用他那行尸走肉般的声音向大家解释，重复了一遍我刚才对他说的话。“塞思是为了其他的事情在担心，而忘记了我们还在等他们的一个信号。他还太小。”
“Seth doesn’t think Sam will attack now,” Edward said mechanically. “Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack.”
“塞思认为目前山姆不会攻击我们。”爱德华机械地说下去。“他不会是因为我们有了戒备，同时他们队伍损失了两名成员。”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just jealous. Wish I was out there.”
“是的，我知道。我只是有些妒嫉，恨不得在外面的那个是我。”
“Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort,” a deeper voice grumbled. Emmett, I thought.
“让一个乳臭未干的小毛孩来包围要塞真是‘太好了’。”一个深沉的声音在那里牢骚满腹。埃美特，我猜是他。
“Don’t touch her! You’ll wake her up,” Rosalie whispered.
“别碰她！你会把她吵醒的，”罗莎莉用气声说。
“Rosalie,” Carlisle murmured.
“罗莎莉，”卡莱尔小声说。
“He’s not as optimistic.”
“他跟我一样不怎么持乐观态度。”
No one spoke. There was a quiet dripping sound that I couldn’t place. I heard their low breathing — and I could separate Bella’s from the rest. It was harsher, labored. It hitched and broke in strange rhythms. I could hear her heart. It seemed… too fast. I paced it against my own heartbeat, but I wasn’t sure if that was any measure. It wasn’t like I was normal.
大家都不说话了。静得能听见水滴滴落的声音，却不知道是从哪里发出来的。我能听见他们低低的呼吸声——还能把贝拉的呼吸从中分离出来。她的更为急促，更为费力。以一种异常的节奏在呼吸着。我能听见她的心跳，相较我的心跳速率，她的有些……太快了。但是我不知道这个标准是不是准确，因为我也正常不到哪里去。
I could see up through the windows — see the top of the walls and the ceiling, the unlit chandelier that hung there. I was tall enough that all I would have to do was stretch my neck a little… and maybe one paw up on the edge of the porch…
抬头向窗户内望去，我可以看到墙的上端和天花板，和那上面挂着的，没有被点亮的水晶吊灯。我够高，所以我只要再伸长点脖子……或许再搭一只脚在门廊的边缘上就能……
Someone sighed.
有人叹了口气。
“Don’t start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that’s all we’re allowing.”
“别老说我，卡莱尔。我们早先让你用你的方法试过了，但是这是所有我们能做的了。”
I paced quietly in front of the house. Each pass brought me a little closer. The dark windows were like a TV set running in some dull waiting room — it was impossible to keep my eyes off them for long.
我悄无声息地在房子前迈步。每跨出一步都让我离她更近些。黑色的窗户，一尘不变，像是在电视上播放的枯燥等待画面。但是却让我移不开视线。
It seemed like Rosalie and Bella were both talking in plurals now. Like they’d formed a pack of their own.
看来现在罗莎莉和贝拉是同一个鼻孔出气了。她们两个组成了自己的阵营。
A few more minutes, a few more passes, and my fur was brushing the side of the porch as I paced.
又花了几分钟，向前迈了几步，我的鬃毛终于扫过房子的门廊。
She choked a little in her uneasy sleep, and both Edward and Rosalie moved in to hover over her. Her body jerked, and she whimpered. Rosalie smoothed her hand across Bella’s forehead. Edward’s body stiffened — his back was to me, but his expression must have been something to see, because Emmett wrenched himself between them before there was time to blink. He held his hands up to Edward.
在她不安稳的睡眠中，数次有被哽塞的症状。这种时候，爱德华和罗莎莉都同时关切地来到她身旁。她的身体因为痉挛不住地抽搐着，嘴里还不停地说着胡话。罗莎莉轻揉着她的额头，爱德华的身体绷得紧紧的——他背对着我，但是他的心思一定都写在了脸上。因为才一眨眼的功夫，埃美特就挤进了两人中间，举手拦下了爱德华。
I peeked into the big, open front room, expecting to see something very similar to the scene this afternoon. But it had changed so much that I was confused at first. For a second I thought I’d gotten the wrong room.
我偷偷地环视整个宽敞、开放的前厅，希望能看到和下午差不多的场景。但是房间巨大的变化，让我一开始疑惑了好一阵。开头我还以为我看错房间了呢。
The glass wall was gone — it looked like metal now. And the furniture was all dragged out of the way, with Bella curled up awkwardly on a narrow bed in the center of the open space. Not a normal bed — one with rails like in a hospital. Also like a hospital were the monitors strapped to her body, the tubes stuck into her skin. The lights on the monitors flashed, but there was no sound. The dripping noise was from the IV plugged into her arm — some fluid that was thick and white, not clear.
玻璃幕墙不见了，现在看起来像是钢筋结构的。所有的家具都被统统拖到一边堆着，中间的空地上有一张狭窄的床，而Bella正以某种让人不舒服的姿势蜷曲在那上面。这不是一张普通的床——是那种有着围栏的医院病床。身上被扣着许多管子，一头埋入她的皮肤下，另一头连着监视器，让这里看起来更像是医院。监视器上的指示灯正一闪一闪地跳动，但是却没有声音。刚才的水滴声是从扎入她手臂下的输液器中发出来的，淌进她体内的白色液体，粘稠，浑浊。
Edward turned away from them, and he was the burning man again. His eyes met mine for one moment, and then I dropped back to all fours.
爱德华转身背对他们，再一次好像饱受烈焰炙烤的煎熬。我们有过短暂的眼神交汇，接着我放下了垫在门廊上的爪子。
Worse. Yes, she was worse.
更糟了。是的，她的状况更糟了。
“Not tonight, Edward. We’ve got other things to worry about.”
“不是今夜，爱德华。我们该发愁的是其他事情。”
I ran back into the dark forest, running to join Seth, running away from what was behind me.
我向墨一般黑的森林中跑去，奔跑着去和塞思汇合，奔跑着甩开身后事物。
0 条评论