His hair was damp from a shower, and he had a grocery sack rolled closed in his hand. “Dad! I’m sorry if I woke you.”
他的头发因为洗完澡而湿漉漉的，他手上拿着一个杂货店袋子。“爸爸！如果我吵醒了你，我很抱歉。”
What I really needed was a good climb in my sycamore tree, but I settled for watering the lawn while I tried to think of other things. I cranked open the spigot and admired how rich and black the dirt looked as I sprinkled back and forth across the soil. And I was busy talking to my buried seedlings, coaxing them to spring up and greet the rising sun, when my father came outside.
我真正需要的是好好地爬到梧桐树上去，但是我决定一边给草坪浇水，一边试图想其他的事。我打开了水管，欣赏着泥土看起来多么的肥沃乌黑，一边前后给土壤洒水。当我爸爸出来的时候，我正忙着和隐藏着的幼苗说话，劝说它们跃起来和冉冉升起的太阳打招呼。
But that Sunday — after spending most of the night feeling upset or uneasy — I woke up wanting to do something physical. To shake off the confused way I was still feeling.
但是这个周日——在用了近一个晚上感觉苦恼和心神不宁之后——我想起来做些物质方面的事。想甩掉自己困惑的感觉。
Usually I tiptoe out to collect eggs while everyone else is asleep, then spirit a bowl of Cheerios back to my room to have breakfast in bed and read.
我通常都会在其他人睡觉时蹑手蹑脚地去收集鸡蛋，然后偷偷带走一碗麦片，回到房间一边阅读一边在床上吃早餐。
Sunday mornings are peaceful in our house. My father lets himself sleep in. My mother lets herself not fix breakfast. And if my brothers have been out late playing with their band, you won’t even know they’re around until noon.
星期天早晨，我们家一片平静。我爸爸睡懒觉。我妈妈不用做早饭。而如果哥哥们在外熬夜玩乐队，在中午之前都不会见到他们。
“You’re not going to work, are you?”
“你不是去上班吧，是吗？”
“You didn’t, sweetheart. I’ve been up for a while.”
“你没有，亲爱的。我醒来好一会儿了。”
He walked toward his truck, saying, “That’s right. I… I should be back around noon.”
他走向他的卡车，说：“没错。我…我应该会在中午左右回来。”
I went over to the passenger side of his truck and said, “I’m coming,” then climbed inside and slammed the door back in place.
我走向他卡车副驾驶的位置，说：“我来了。”然后爬上车砰地关上了门。
“Uncle David?”
“大卫叔叔？”
“But Dad, why today? It’s Sunday.”
“但是爸爸，为什么是今天？今天是星期天。”
“It’s his fortieth birthday. I want to see him and deliver a gift,” he said as he held up the paper bag. “Don’t worry. I’ll rustle us up some pancakes for lunch, all right?”
“是他四十岁生日。我想见他，送他一个礼物。”他一边说一边举起纸袋。“别担心，我会买一些烙饼做午饭，好吗？”
I turned off the spigot. “Why’s that?”
我关掉水管：“为什么呢？”
“Why don’t you stay home and enjoy the morning with your mother? I’m sure she would –“
“你为什么不呆在家和你妈妈享受这个早晨呢？我肯定她会…”
“I’m coming with you,” I said, and tossed the hose aside. I wasn’t even really dressed — I’d just pulled on some sweats and sneakers, no socks — but in my mind there was no doubt. I was going.
“我和你一起去。”我说，然后把水管扔在一边。我根本没有穿正装——我只是套上了运动衫和运动鞋，没穿袜子——不过在我的脑海里那没什么怀疑。我要去。
“I know, sweetheart, but it’s a special Sunday.”
“我知道，亲爱的，但是今天是个特别星期天。”
“No, I…” He studied me for a moment, then said, “I’m going to visit David.”
“不，我…”他盯着我看了一会儿，然后说，“我要去探望大卫。”
“But –” he said through the driver’s door. “I’m coming, Dad.”
“但是…”他在驾驶座门外说道。“我要去，爸爸。”
He studied me a moment, then said, “Okay,” and put the bag on the bench seat. “Let me leave a note for your mother.”
他注视了我一会儿，然后说：“好吧，”然后把纸袋放在长条座椅上，“让我给你妈妈写给条子。”
I studied the paper sack sitting next to me. What was my father bringing his brother for his fortieth birthday?
我研究着在我边上的纸包。我爸爸要在他四十岁生日时给他什么呢？
I picked it up. It wasn’t a painting — it was much too light for that. Plus, it made a strange, muted rattling noise when I shook it.
我拎起来。那不是幅画——对这来说太轻了。再加上，我晃动的时候会发出奇怪的，极轻的格格声。
While he was inside, I strapped on the lap belt and told myself that this was good. This was something I should’ve done years ago. Uncle David was part of the family, part of my father, part of me. It was about time I got to know him.
他进去的时候，我扣紧安全带并告诉自己这很好。这是我几年之前就该做的事。大卫叔叔也是家庭的一部分，爸爸的一部分，我的一部分。这到了我应该了解他的时间了。
I was just unrolling the top to peek inside when my father came back through the front door. I dropped the sack and straightened up, and when he slid behind the wheel, I said, “It’s okay with you, isn’t it?”
我正要解开上面偷看里面，我爸爸从前门走了过来。我放下袋子并坐直，当他开始坐在方向盘后的时候，我说：“这没关系吧，是吗？”
He cranked the motor and said, “No, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re coming.”
他发动了马达并说：“没有，亲爱的。我很高兴你能来。”
He just looked at me, his hand on the key in the ignition. “I… I’m not ruining your day with him or anything, am I?”
他只是看着我，他的手就放在插在引擎的钥匙上。“我…我没有毁掉你和他的一天吧，是吗？”
We didn’t say much to each other on the drive over to Greenhaven. He seemed to want to look at the scenery and I, well, I had a lot of questions, but none I wanted to ask. It was nice, though, riding with my father. It was like the silence connected us in a way that explanations never could.
在前往绿色天堂的路上我们没有和对方说很多。他看起来想看看风景而我，嗯，我有一大堆问题，但是一个也不想问。但是这很好，和我爸爸乘车旅行。这时候沉默胜过千言万语。
“The residents tend the grounds,” my father said. “It’s part of their occupational training program, and it’s therapeutic. Those holes are the future homes of Peach, Plum, and Pear.”
“整理土地，”我爸爸说，“是他们职业训练的一部分，也是他们的治疗。那些坑是要种桃子，李子和梨的。”
When we arrived at Greenhaven, my father parked the truck, but we didn’t get out right away. “It takes some getting used to, Julianna, but it does grow on you. They grow on you. They’re all good people.” I nodded, but felt oddly afraid.
我们到达绿色天堂的时候，爸爸停了车，但是我们没有直接下去。“这需要一些适应，朱莉安娜，但是你会适应的。他们会适应的。他们都是好人。我点头，却感觉有点奇怪地害怕。
“Come on, then,” he said, taking the sack from the seat. “Let’s go inside.”
“那么，来吧，”他说，把纸袋从座位上拿下来，“我们进去吧。”
“Fruit trees?”
“果树？”
Greenhaven didn’t look like any kind of hospital to me, but it didn’t look quite like a house, either. It was too long and rectangular for that. The walkway had a faded green awning that covered it, and flower beds alongside with freshly planted pansies that looked muddied and slightly askew. The grass was patchy, with three deep holes dug near the building.
绿色天堂看起来并不像个医院，但也不像个住宅。这对住宅来说太长也太四四方方。走道上都有绿色的凉棚覆盖，花坛周围有新种的三色堇，看起来有些泥泞，纤弱地歪斜着。而草地是不完整的，因为有三个深坑挖在建筑物边上。
“Yes. The vote caused quite a commotion.”
“对。投票引起了一阵混乱。”
“Among the… residents?”
“居民之间的吗？”
“That’s right.” He swung open one of the glass double doors and said, “Come on in.” It was cool inside. And it smelled of pine cleaner and bleach, with something vaguely pungent underneath.
“没错。”他转开了双重玻璃门，说道：“进来吧。”里面很凉快。有股松树和漂白剂的味道，还有些模糊的刺鼻。
“Good morning, Robert!” a woman called through one of the office doors.
“早上好，罗伯特！”一个女人从办公室门里叫道。
She came out to meet us, saying, “David’s up and about. Has been since around six. Mabel tells me it’s his birthday today.”
她走出来见我们，说道，“大卫已经起来了。大概六点钟的时候。梅贝尔告诉我今天是他生日。”
“Mabel is right again.” He turned to me and smiled. “Josie, it’s my pleasure to introduce my daughter, Julianna. Julianna, meet Josie Gruenmakker.”
“梅贝尔又对了。”他转向我微笑，“乔西，是我的荣幸向你介绍我的女儿，朱莉安娜。朱莉安娜，这是乔西·鲁恩马克。”
There wasn’t a reception desk or waiting area, just a large intersection with white walls and narrow wooden benches. To the left was a big room with a television and several rows of plastic chairs, to the right were open office doors, and beside us were two pine armoires. One was open, with half a dozen gray sweaters hung neatly in a row.
那里没有服务台或等待区域，只有一个十字路口，白色的墙壁和狭窄的木头长椅。左边是一个大房间，带着电视和几排塑料椅，右边是开着的办公室门，我们边上是两个松木壁橱。一个是开着的，有半打灰色毛衣挂成一排。
“Well now, isn’t this nice,” Josie said, clasping my hand. “I recognize you from David’s photo album. You’re gettin’ ready to graduate into high school, isn’t that right?”
“哇，这真不错，”乔西说，和我握手，“我在大卫的相册里见过你。我准备毕业去高中了，是吗？”
“Good morning, Josie,” my father replied.
“早上好，乔西。”爸爸回答道。
I blinked at her, then looked at my dad. I’d never really thought of it that way, but I could see that he had. “Yes, I… I suppose I am.”
我冲她眨眼睛，然后看着我爸爸。我从来没想会这样，但是我能看出他知道，“是的，我想是这样。”
Down the hall was a small person hunched in a wheel-chair. At first I thought it was a child, but as we approached, I could see it was a woman. She had almost no hair, and as she gave my dad a toothless smile, she grabbed his hand and spoke.
大厅的尽头是个蜷在轮椅里的小个子人。一开始我以为是个小孩，但是走近了，我能看见那是个女人。她几乎没有头发，她给了我爸爸一个没有牙齿的微笑，她抓住了他的手说话。
“And,” Josie added with a laugh, “I’m not graduatin’ to nowhere! Been here seventeen years, and I’m staying put.” The phone rang and she hurried off, saying, “Gotta get that. I’ll meet up with you in a bit. Check the rec room, then his room. You’ll find him.”
“还有，”她笑着补充，“我没从任何地方毕业！我在这儿十七年了，还准备继续呆下去。”然后电话响了，她迅速离开，说道：“必须去接电话。过会儿我会和你一起去。看看康复中心，然后他的房间。你会找到他的。”
My heart bottomed out. The sounds she made were choked and lost on her tongue. Nothing she said was intelligible, yet she looked at my father with such intensity — like of course he understood what she was saying.
我的心都沉了。她发出的声音窒息着消失在她的舌头上。她说的没有一句是清楚的，但她却感情强烈地看着我爸爸——好像他能听懂她的话是理所当然的。
“Josie’s the site administrator.”
“乔西是这里的管理者。”
My dad led me around a corner, and as we proceeded down a hallway, the underlying pungent part of the smell got stronger. Like the place had had years of Mystery Pissers, with no one quite neutralizing what had been tagged.
爸爸带着我转过弯，当我们沿着走廊走的时候，底下刺鼻的味道变得更强烈。好像是有过很多年神秘尿人的地方，
To my complete surprise, he said, “You’re absolutely right, Mabel. It is today. Which is why I’m here.” He held up the grocery sack and whispered, “I’ve brought him a little gift.”
令我完全惊讶的是，他说：“你完全对了，梅贝尔。就是今天。这是我来这儿的目的。”他举起杂货店袋子然后低语道：“我给他带了个礼物。”
“Gwa-aaal,” she said. “How’d you know?”
“瓜…尔。”她说。“你怎么知道？”
“This is my daughter, Julianna. Julianna, I’d like you to meet the extraordinary Miss Mabel. She can remember everyone’s birthday, and she has a real passion for strawberry milkshakes.”
“这是我的女儿，朱莉安娜。朱莉安娜，我向你介绍非同寻常的梅贝尔小姐。她能记住所有人的生日，而且她对草莓奶昔极其热爱。”
“Hoo haa,” she said.
“吼哈。”她说。
“Well, we’re off to David’s,” my father said, then shook the bag. “Don’t spill the beans if he happens by.”
“好了，我们要去大卫那里，”我爸爸说，然后摇了摇纸袋，“如果他过来的话别向他泄露了机密。”
She gurgled at him until he patted her hand and said, “I’m much too predictable, I’m afraid. But he enjoys them, and…” He noticed her gaze shift in my direction.
她对着他咯咯笑着，直到他轻拍她的手说道：“我害怕自己太有预见性了。但是他很享受它们，而且…”他注意到她的注视转换到了我的方向。
I managed a smile and whispered, “Nice to meet you,” but all I got in return was a suspicious scowl.
我勉强地微笑着低语：“很高兴认识你。”而我得到的只是个怀疑的怒视。
A man appeared at the door. A man I would never have picked out as my father’s brother. He was stocky, with thick brown glasses, and his face looked puffy and pale. But he threw his arms around my father’s chest and cried, “Wobbad! Yaw heew!”
一个男人出现在了门口。一个和爸爸的兄弟一点都不像的男人。他又矮又壮，戴着厚厚的棕色眼镜，他的脸看起来肿胀而苍白。但是他伸出手臂抱住我爸爸说道：“若博得！里来了！”（罗伯特！你来了！）
I followed him to a bedroom doorway, where he stopped and called, “David? David, it’s Robert.”
我跟着他到了一个卧房门口，他停下来喊道：“大卫？大卫，罗伯特来了。”
I followed them into the room and saw that the walls were covered in a collage of puzzles. They’d been glued directly to the walls and even up on the ceiling! It was cozy and comfortable, and interesting. I felt as though I’d entered a quilted cave.
我跟着他们进了房间然后看见墙壁上贴满了拼图。它们甚至直接被胶在了天花板上！这很安逸舒适，而且很有趣。虽然我感觉自己进入了棉花洞穴。
“Yes, I am, little brother.”
“是的，小弟弟。”
For a split second David looked almost frightened, but then my father said, “It’s my daughter, Julianna.”
有几秒种大卫看起来几乎是惊恐，但然后我爸爸说，“这是我的女儿，朱莉安娜。”
David’s face broke into a smile. “Ju-weee-an-na!” he cried, then practically tackled me with a hug.
大卫的脸上绽开一个微笑：“朱－微－安－娜！”他喊道，然后用一个拥抱几乎擒住了我。
My father held his brother at arm’s length and said, “And look who I’ve brought along!”
我父亲抱着他哥哥一臂之遥说：“看看我带来了谁！”
“We brought you a present,” my dad said as he opened the paper sack.
“我们给你带了个礼物。”我爸爸一边说一边打开了纸袋。
Before he had it out, before I saw the actual size, I remembered the sound it had made when I’d shaken it in the truck. Of course! I thought. A puzzle.
在他拿出来之前，在我看见实际大小之前，我想起了我在卡车里摇晃它时发出的声音。当然了！我想，是一个拼图。
“Not just a puzzle,” my dad said as he pulled it out of the sack. “A puzzle and a pinwheel.”
“不仅仅是个拼图，”我爸爸一边说一边把它拉出纸袋，“一个拼图和一个风车。”
I thought I was going to suffocate. My face was buried as he squeezed the air out of me and rocked from side to side. Then with a giggle he let go and flopped into a chair. “Is mooy bwuf-day!”
我以为我会窒息而死。我的脸如火烧般红，他紧紧抱着我并左右摇晃。然后他咯咯笑着放开我，跌进一把椅子：“四我滴森日！”（是我的生日！）
Dad had wrapped the puzzle box up in pretty blue paper and had taped the red-and-yellow pinwheel on as a bow. Uncle David snatched the pinwheel right off and blew. First gently, then fiercely, in great spitty bursts. “Ownge!” he cried between blows. “Ownge!”
爸爸用了很漂亮的蓝色包装纸包了拼图盒子，然后把红黄相间的风车粘在上面作为蝴蝶结。大卫叔叔立刻抢过了风车开始吹。先是轻柔地，然后用力地，唾沫横飞。“层色（橙色）！”他吹的间隔喊道：“层色！”
“I know, Uncle David. Happy birthday!” He giggled again. “Fwank eoow!”
“我知道，大卫叔叔，生日快乐！“他又咯咯笑着：“谁谁！”（谢谢！）
Uncle David guessed it, too. “A puwwwle?”
大卫叔叔也猜到了，“一个拼胡（拼图）？”
Very gently Dad took it from him and smiled. “Red and yellow do make orange, don’t they?”
我爸爸很温柔地从他那儿拿走然后微笑：“红加黄等于橙，对吗？”
My father pointed to a spot in the center of the ceiling. “I thought it would fit just right over there.”
我爸爸指着天花板中间的地方说：“我认为它正适合那儿。”
David tried to grab it back, but my father said, “We’ll take it outside later. The wind will blow it for you,” and pressed the puzzle back in his hands. As the wrapping paper fell in shreds on the floor, I leaned in to see what sort of puzzle my father had bought him and gasped. Three thousand pieces! And the image was simply white clouds and blue sky. No shading, no trees — nothing but the clouds and the sky.
大卫试图拿回来，但我爸爸说：“我们过会儿把它拿出去，风会替你吹的。”然后把拼图塞在他手里。当包装纸变成碎片飘到地上时，我探过去看爸爸给他了哪种拼图，我倒吸了口气。三千片！而图片只是简单的云和蓝天。没有阴影，没有树——除了天和云之外什么都没有。
Uncle David’s head bobbed up and down. “Yaaah!”
大卫叔叔用力地点头，“太好了！”
Uncle David looked up and nodded, then lunged for his pinwheel and said, “Owsiiide?”
大卫叔叔向上看着点了点头，然后吹着风车说，“粗去吗？（出去吗）”
We checked out through Josie, then headed down the street. David can’t walk very fast because his body seems to want to move inward instead of forward. His feet pigeon-toe and his shoulders hunch in, and he seemed to lean on my father pretty heavily as we moved along.
我们在乔西那里登记离开，然后走向了街道。大卫走不快因为他的身体似乎想往里而不是往前走。他如同企鹅的脚趾和他的肩膀弯成弓形，而我们行走时他看起来重重地靠在我爸爸身上。
“Sure. Let’s go out for a walk. Feel like going down to McElliot’s for a birthday ice cream?”
“当然。让我们出去散散步。想去马伊罗特（冰激凌店名）吃生日冰激凌吗？”
But he kept that pinwheel in front of him, watching it spin, crying every now and then, “Owwwange, owwwange!”
但他保持了风车在他前面，看着他旋转，时不时喊道：“曾色，曾色！”
McElliot’s turned out to be a drugstore with an ice cream parlor inside. There was a red-and- white-striped awning over the ice cream counter, and there were little white tables and chairs set in an area with red-and-white-striped wallpaper. It was very festive-looking, especially for being inside a drugstore.
马伊罗特其实是个有冰激凌店在里面的药房。有红白条纹的凉棚在冰激凌柜台上，还有小小的白色桌子和椅子放在一个贴着红白条纹墙纸的区域。这看起来很有节日气氛，特别是在一个药店里。
Dad got us all cones, and once we were sitting down, Dad and David did talk to each other some, but mostly David wanted to eat his chocolate fudge swirl. My father smiled at me from time to time, and I smiled back, but I felt disconnected. How many times had the two of them come here for ice cream? How many birthdays had my father celebrated with his brother like this? How long had he known Mabel and Josie and the rest of the people at Greenhaven? How could it be that in all these years, I’d never spent any time with my uncle? It was like my father had a secret life away from me. A complete family away from me.
爸爸给我们都买了甜筒，而我们坐下后，爸爸和大卫偶尔会谈话，但是大卫更想吃他的巧克力甜筒。爸爸时不时对我微笑，而我也会回他微笑，但我觉得被分离了。他们俩有多少次来这儿吃冰激凌？有多少次爸爸像这样为他弟弟庆祝生日？他认识梅贝尔和乔西还有绿色天堂的其他人多久了？为什么这么多年以来，我从来没有和叔叔在一起过？这就像我爸爸有一个离我以外的神秘生活。一个除我以外的完整家庭。
It was awful. He was like a two-hundred-pound infant, throwing a tantrum on the floor. He was yelling words I couldn’t understand, and after a minute of trying to calm him down, my father said, “Julianna, can you get him another cone?”
这太糟了。他像一个两百磅的婴儿，对着地板发怒。他喊着一些我无法听懂的词，在试着安抚他几分钟后，我爸爸说：“朱莉安娜，你能给他买个新的吗？”
Before my dad could stop him, David picked up the ice cream and tried to cram it back onto the cone. But the cone was shattered and the ice cream fell over again, only this time it landed on the floor.
在我爸爸能够阻止他之前，大卫捡起了冰激凌并试图把它放回蛋筒上。但蛋筒已经碎了，于是冰激凌又掉了下来，只不过这次落在了地板上。
“No, David! Let me get you a new one.” My dad pulled him by the arm, but David wouldn’t budge. He grabbed the ice cream and crammed it back onto what was left of his cone, and when the bottom part of his cone crumbled completely away, he started screaming.
“不要，大卫！让我给你买个新的。”我爸爸拉住他的手，但是大卫不肯移动，他抓住冰激凌把它塞入剩下的蛋筒，而当整个蛋筒碎掉的时候，他开始尖叫。
I didn’t like it. Didn’t understand it. And I was getting myself pretty worked up about it when David’s cone crushed in his grip, causing his ice cream to flop onto the table.
我不喜欢这样。不理解这些。当我正思考着这些的时候，大卫的甜筒被捏碎了，因此他的冰激凌都掉在了桌上。
The man behind the counter scooped as fast as he could, but in that short time David knocked over a table and two chairs with his flailing and managed to smear chocolate everywhere. The checkers and customers at the registers seemed frozen with terror — like David was some sort of monster out to destroy the world.
柜台后面的男人用最快的速度铲了一勺，但这短短的时间内大卫用他的双臂乱挥着撞到了一个桌子和两把椅子，把巧克力弄得到处都是。在登记处的收账员和顾客似乎因恐惧而吓呆了——好像大卫是什么怪物要出来毁坏世界。
My dad said, “Leave it, David. I’ll get you a new one,” but David didn’t listen. His chair shot back and he dove after it.
我爸爸说：“别管它了，大卫。我给你买个新的。”但是大卫没有听从。他的椅子猛地向后然后他钻了下去。
On the walk back to Greenhaven, David acted like nothing had happened. He spurted into his pinwheel and cried, “Owwwange!” from time to time, but when my dad held open the front door, I could tell that David was tired.
回绿色天堂的路上，大卫就像什么都没发生一样。他吹着风车并时不时喊道：“曾色！”但当我爸爸打开前门的时候，我知道大卫累了。
Down in his room David placed the pinwheel on his bed and picked up the puzzle box. “Why don’t you take a rest before you get started on it?” my dad asked.
在他的房间里大卫把风车放在他床上并拿起了拼图盒子。“为什么不在开始之前先休息会儿呢？”我爸爸问。
I gave the new cone to my father, who handed it to David, right there on the floor. And while David sat there eating it, my father and I worked around him, putting everything back in order and wiping up the mess.
我把新的甜筒递给爸爸，他再给了大卫，就坐在地上。当他坐在那儿吃的时候，我和爸爸在他周围工作，把所有的东西放回原处并擦掉了脏东西。
“Okay, then. Let me help you set it up.”
“好吧。让我帮你放好。”
David shook his head. “Naaow.”
大卫摇了摇头。“不要。”
My father pulled a card table from beneath the bed, then swung the legs out and snapped them into place. After he had it shoved up against the wall near the bed, he moved a chair close to it and said, “There you are. All set up.”
爸爸从床底下拉出一个小桌，然后把桌腿拉了出来。在他把桌子推到靠着墙，在床边上后，他移了一把椅子在边上说道：“来吧，都好了。”
David had the box open and was already sifting through the pieces. “Aaaas a gou wwwone, Wobbad.”
大卫打开了盒子已经开始检查碎片。“则很完怎，若博得。（这很完整，罗伯特）”
“I’m glad you like it. You think you might have it done by Wednesday? I can come back and glue it on the ceiling for you then if you’d like.”
“我很高兴你喜欢它。你认为你能在周三前完成吗？如果你喜欢的话我可以过来帮你贴在天花板上。”
I nodded. “Everything was fine — except for the ice cream.”
我点头。“一切都很顺利——除了冰激凌。”
David nodded, but he was already intent on the puzzle, carefully laying pieces on the table.
大卫点头，但他已经专注于拼图，小心地把碎片放在桌上。
“Will you say good-bye to Julianna?”
“你会和朱莉安娜说再见吗？”
Dad chuckled. “Except for the ice cream.” Then he turned serious. “The trouble is, you never know what “the ice cream” is going to be.
爸爸轻声笑道：“除了冰激凌。”然后又认真起来。“问题是，你永远都不是知道‘冰激凌’是什么。
My father put his hand on his shoulder and said, “I’ll see you Wednesday then, okay?”
我爸爸把手搭在他肩上说道：“那我们星期三见，好吗？”
“Baaawye,” he said, but he didn’t look up from his box of pieces.
“白外（拜拜），”他说，但他没有从拼图碎片里抬起头来。
“See you later, Uncle David.” I tried to sound cheerful, but I didn’t feel that way.
“再见，大卫叔叔。”我试着听起来高兴点，但我并没有这么觉得。
He nodded.
他点头。
Sometimes it’s a fly in the room. Sometimes it’s the feel of his socks. It’s hard to predict everything. Usually getting ice cream is safe.” He shook his head and closed his eyes, thinking things I couldn’t imagine. Finally he turned the ignition and said, “David lived with your mother and me for a while. Before you kids were born. We thought it would be better for him to live with us than to be in a home, but we were wrong.”
有时是房间里的一只苍蝇。有时是他袜子的手感。要预测一切很困难。通常情况下买冰激凌很安全。”他摇了摇头并合上了眼睛，想一些我无法想象的事。最后他点火说道：“大卫和我和你妈妈住了一段时间。在你们出生之前。我们认为让他和我们住在一切会比住在避护所好，但是我们错了。”
When we got back into the truck, my dad clicked on his seat belt and said, “So.” I just looked at him and tried to smile.
当我们回到卡车上时，我爸爸扣上安全带说，“那么，”我只是看着他，试着微笑。
“Are you as exhausted as I am?” he said.
“你和我一样疲惫吗？”他说。
“But overall, everything went okay today…”
“但总的来说，今天一切都不错…”
“He goes there every morning during the week to fold mailings and fill envelopes. Greenhaven’s been so good for him. He gets an incredible amount of individualized attention. He has his own room, his own friends, his own life.”
“他在一周的工作日内每天早上都去折叠邮寄和塞信封。绿色家园对他很好。他得到了大量不可思议的单独注意。他有自己的房间，自己的朋友，自己的生活。”
He ground the gearshift into reverse. “David has many, many special needs, both emotional and physical. Your mom and I couldn’t handle them all. Fortunately he’s happy here. They have programs to teach him how to care for himself — how to dress and bathe and brush his teeth, how to act around others and communicate. They go on outings, and he has a job doing mailings for a doctor’s office…”
爸爸掉了个方向。“大卫有很多很多特别的需求，情感上和肉体上。你妈妈和我不能掌握全部。幸运的是他在这儿很开心。他们有特别的培训教他怎么照顾自己——怎么穿衣服，洗澡和刷牙，在其他人周围怎么做和沟通。他们去郊游，他还有一个帮医生办公室邮寄的工作…”
“He does?”
“是吗？”
After a minute I said, “But he’s part of the family, Dad. And it just doesn’t seem right that he’s never been over for a visit. Not even on Christmas or Thanksgiving!”
过了一会儿我说：“但是他是家庭的一部分，爸爸。而他从来不来探望似乎不太对。甚至连圣诞节和感恩节也没有！”
“He doesn’t want to, sweetheart. One year your mother and I insisted he spend Thanksgiving with us, and it was the biggest disaster you can imagine. He broke a window out of the car, he was that upset.”
“他不想要，亲爱的。有一年你妈妈和我坚持让他和我们一起过感恩节，那是你能想象的最大的灾难。他打碎了一扇车窗，他非常生气。“
“Well, it’s draining. Your mother finds it incredibly depressing, and I understand that. We both agreed that it was no place to take small children.”
“嗯，这很消沉。你妈妈发现这是难以想象地沮丧，而我能理解。我们都同意这不是一个带小孩子来的地方。”
“But Dad, it’s not –“
“但是爸爸，这不是——”
“Julianna, what I’m trying to tell you is I’m sorry. There was so much I wanted to give you. All of you. I guess I didn’t see until recently how little I’ve actually provided.”
“朱莉安娜，我试着要告诉你的是我很抱歉。我有很多想要给你。你们所有人。我猜直到不久前我都没发现我能给予的只是那么少。”
“But… why haven’t we been visiting him? I know you have, but the rest of us. Why not?”
“但是…为什么我们都不来看他？我知道你会来，但我们其他人。为什么呢？”
He accelerated onto the highway, silent behind the wheel. Finally he said, “The years just seem to slip away, Julianna. One day you have a baby in your arms, and the next you realize she’s very nearly a woman.” He smiled at me sadly. “I love David, but he is a burden, and I guess I wanted to protect you from that. But I realize now that all of this has affected you and the family.”
他加速上了公路，车轮没发出声音。最后他说：“岁月如梭，朱莉安娜。前一天你的手里有个婴儿，下一天你发现她几乎是个女人了。”他忧伤地对我微笑：“我爱大卫，但他是个负担，我猜我是想要你远离那些。但我现在发现这影响到了你和这个家庭。”
“That’s not true!”
“这不是真的！”
“Well, I think you know my heart’s been in the right place, but if you line it up objectively, a man like, say, Mr. Loski adds up to a much better husband and father than a man like me does. He’s around more, he provides more, and he’s probably a lot more fun.”
“嗯，我认为你知道我的心是好的，但是如果你客观地说，一个男人像，比如，洛世奇先生是一个比我好很多的丈夫和爸爸。他在周围的时间更多，他给予的更多，而他也许还比我更有趣。”
He looked at me like he couldn’t quite believe his ears. “Is that so,” he said with a grin. “Well, I’ll remind you of that as your someday approaches.”
他看我的样子像是他无法相信他的耳朵。“是吗，”他露齿而笑，“好吧，有一天你接近那时候我会提醒你这些。”
My mother, though, had other plans. She’d spent the morning scrubbing floors and nixed the pancakes. “I need something with more staying power. Like grilled ham-and-cheese. With onions,” she said. “Lots of onions!”
虽然，我妈妈，有其他的计划。她花了一上午的时间擦地并拒绝烙饼。“我需要一些更能补充体力的东西。比如烤肉和奶酪。还有洋葱，”她说，“很多洋葱！”
My dad wasn’t one to go fishing for compliments or signs of appreciation, but still, I couldn’t quite believe he actually thought that. “Dad, I don’t care how it looks on paper, I think you’re the best dad ever! And when I marry somebody someday, I sure don’t want him to be like Mr. Loski! I want him to be like you.”
我爸爸并不是想要得到恭维话或是赞赏，但仍旧，我不能相信他真的这么想。“爸爸，我不在乎表面是怎样的，我认为你是最好的爸爸！而当我有一天要嫁人的时候，我肯定不想让他像洛世奇先生那样！我想让他像你一样。”
That turned the rest of the trip around. We laughed and joked and talked about all kinds of things, but as we neared home, there was one thing the conversation kept turning back to. Pancakes.
那把剩下的旅行扭转了。我们大笑着，说着笑话谈论各种各样的事，但当我们越到家，谈话就不断地回到一件事上。烙饼。
“Scrubbing floors?” my dad said. “It’s Sunday, Trina. Why were you scrubbing floors?”
“擦地？”我爸爸说，“周日了，崔娜。你为什么要拖地？”
“Nervous energy.” She looked at me. “How’d it go?”
“太紧张了，”她看着我，“怎么样？”
“Okay. I’m glad I went.”
“很好。我很高兴我去了。”
She glanced at my dad and then at me. “Well, good,” she sighed, then said, “I also felt like scrubbing because I got a call from Patsy.”
她瞥了我爸爸一眼然后是我，“嗯，这很好，”她叹气，然后说，“我还想擦地是因为帕特斯来了个电话。”
“Yes.”
“是的。”
We blinked at her a moment; then I asked, “All of us?”
我们对她眨了一会儿眼睛；然后我问，“我们全家？”
“Loski?” my dad asked. “Is something wrong?”
“洛世奇？”我爸爸说，“出什么事了吗？”
She shrugged again. “I think it might be nice. A little strange, but nice.”
她再次耸肩。“我认为可能会很好。有点儿奇怪，但还不错。”
My mother pushed a few wisps of hair back and said, “No… She called to invite us over for dinner on Friday.”
我妈妈吧一小缕头发拨到后面并说：“没有…她打来邀请我们星期五去吃晚餐。”
“I couldn’t very well say no. She was being so nice, and Chet has really done a lot…” She shrugged and said, “I said we’d go. It’s set for six o’clock Friday night.”
“我并不能拒绝。她很好，而切特的确做了很多…”她耸了耸肩道：“我说我们回去。确定是周五晚上六点。”
My mom could see it, too. She sighed and said, “Robert, I don’t exactly know why, but she was insistent. She was practically in tears, saying how sorry she was that she’d never invited us before and how she’d really like to get to know us better.”
我妈妈也能看出来。她叹了口气道：“罗伯特，我并不知道为什么，但她很坚持。她几乎落泪了，说她很抱歉从没邀请过我们，而现在她真的想更了解我们。”
“What did you tell her?”
“你怎么和她说的？”
I could see what my dad was thinking: Why? All these years of living across the street, and we’d never been invited over. Why now?
我能看出我爸爸在想什么：为什么？这么多年住在街对面，而我们从来没被邀请。为什么是现在？
“Really?” I asked.
“真的吗？”我问。
“Are you sure they want us all over there?” my dad asked.
“你确定他们想让我们全家去吗？”我爸爸问。
“Well, okay then,” my dad said. “I won’t schedule any overtime for Friday. What about the boys?”
“嗯，那好吧，”我爸爸说，“星期五我不会计划加班。那男孩们呢？“
For the rest of the afternoon, I sort of lazed around, reading and daydreaming. And at school the next day, I couldn’t seem to concentrate. My thoughts kept turning back to David. I wondered what my grandparents had been like, and what they’d gone through, having a son like him.
剩余的整个下午，我闲散地消磨时光，阅读并做着白日梦。而第二天在学校，我似乎无法集中注意力。我总是忍不住想大卫。我想着我外祖父母会是怎样的，有他这样的儿子一定承受了很多。
I could tell the whole idea of dinner at the Loskis’ was making my dad pretty uncomfortable, but we could both see that something about this invitation meant a lot to my mother. “All right then,” he said, and got to work slicing cheese and onions.
我知道这整个去洛世奇家吃饭的注意让我爸爸很不舒服，但是我们都能看出这个邀请对我妈妈来说很重要。“那好吧。”他说，然后去切奶酪和洋葱。
My mom nodded. “She insists.”
我妈妈点头，“她很坚持。”
I daydreamed a lot about the sycamore tree, too, which at first I thought was because I was feeling melancholy. But then I remembered how my mother had called the sycamore a testimony to endurance. It had survived being damaged as a sapling. It had grown. Other people thought it was ugly, but I never had.
我还遐想着梧桐树，一开始我认为这是因为我有些忧郁。但之后我想起我妈妈把它叫做“一个忍耐的证明”。它在幼苗的损害后存活了下来。它长大了。其他人认为它很丑陋，但我从不这么想。
“There’s no gig on the calendar, and they’re not scheduled to work, but I haven’t talked to them about it yet.”
“日程表上没有演奏会，他们也没计划去工作，但是我还没正式和他们说过。“
Maybe it was all how you looked at it. Maybe there were things I saw as ugly that other people thought were beautiful.
也许这只是你看的方式。也许还有很多我看见丑陋的东西别人认为很美丽。
Like Shelly Stalls. A perfect example! To me there was absolutely nothing to recommend her, but the rest of the world seemed to think she was the cat’s meow. Me-ow.
比如雪莉·斯塔尔斯。一个完美的例子！对我来说她没有任何值得赞许的地方，但剩下的世界似乎认为她是温顺的小猫。喵！
So I hurried over. She pointed through the column of books and whispered, “Listen!”
所以我快速走过去。她指着一排书然后低语道：“听着！”
Darla was in a few of my classes, but we weren’t really friends, so I looked behind me to see who else she might be flagging.
达拉和我上了一些课，但我们不是真正的朋友，所以我看着我后面她可能在对什么人招手。
Anyway, I sort of drifted through the week like that. Until Thursday. Thursday our social studies class went to the library to do research for our famous historical figure report. I’d chosen Susan B. Anthony and her fight for the right to vote, and I was in the middle of tracking down some books when Darla Tressler flagged me from the end of a stack.
无论如何，我差不多就那样度过了整周。直到星期四。周四我们的社会学习课去了图书馆搜索我们最著名的历史人物报告。我选择了苏珊·布朗内尔·安东尼，还有她为正确选举的斗争，我正查找着一本书的中途，达拉·特雷斯勒在最后一排书架朝我招手。
“Come here!” she mouthed, frantically waving me over.
“过来！”她对我做口型，紧张地招手让我过去。
It was Garrett’s voice. And then Bryce’s. And they were talking about… me. About my chickens. And salmonella poisoning. And how Bryce had been throwing away my eggs. And about me fixing up our yard.
是加瑞特的声音。然后是布莱斯。而且他们在讨论…我。关于我的鸡。还有沙门氏菌中毒。而布莱斯是怎样扔掉我的蛋的。还有我整理我们的院子。
And then Garrett laughed and said, “A retard? Well, that explains a lot, doesn’t it? You know… about Juli?”
之后加瑞特大笑着说：“一个智障？嗯，那就好解释了，是吗？你知道…关于朱莉？”
Bryce was sounding like he felt really bad, but then suddenly my blood ran cold. He was talking about David!
布莱斯听起来感觉很差，但之后突然间我的血液都变凉了。他在讲关于大卫的事！
I positively crumbled onto the floor. And in a flash the voices were gone. Darla checked around the corner, then sat beside me, saying, “Oh, Jules, I’m so, so sorry. I thought he was about to confess that he’s been crushing on you.”
我直接跌在了地板上。只一瞬间那些声音就消失了。达拉检查了下角落，然后坐在我边上，“哦，朱莉，我非常，非常抱歉。我还以为他要承认他迷上你了呢。”
For a second, there was silence. And at that moment I was sure they must be able to hear my heart pounding in my chest, but then Bryce laughed and said, “Oh, right.”
有几秒种，那里鸦雀无声。而那一瞬间我很肯定他们都能听见我的心在胸膛里扑通直跳，但之后布莱斯笑着说道：“哦，没错。”
“What? Darla, Bryce does not have a crush on me.”
“什么？达拉，布莱斯没有迷上我。”
“Where have you been? Haven’t you noticed the way he’s been looking at you? That boy is lost in Loveland.”
“你在说什么呢？你难道没注意他看着你的样子吗？那小子爱上你了。”
“Oh, obviously! You just heard him, Darla!”
“哦，很明显！你刚才听见了，达拉！”
“Darla, the way things have been going, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a bee in my hair.”
“达拉，以这些事发生的方式来看，我并不会惊讶如果我的头发里真的有蜜蜂。”
“Yeah, but yesterday, yesterday I caught him staring at you and he said there was a bee in your hair. A bee, girl. Is that the lamest cover-up you’ve ever heard or what?”
“是啊，但是昨天，昨天我发现他偷瞄你，他说是因为你头发上有只蜜蜂。一只蜜蜂，女孩。这借口简直太傻了！”
It was what Bryce and Garrett had said that I couldn’t forget. How could they be so cruel? And so stupid? Is this what my father had gone through growing up?
我不能忘记的是布莱斯和加瑞特说的。他们怎么能这么残忍？这么愚蠢？这难道是我爸爸长大的方式吗？
“Oh, you think you’re that sweet, huh? Just attract bees like honey? Well, honey, the only bee you’re attracting around here is B-r-y-c-e. Cute, yeah. But after what I just heard, I’d stomp and grind, girl. Stomp and grind.” She got up to go but turned and said, “Don’t worry. I won’t jabber.”
“哦，你认为你真有那么甜吗？就像蜜一样吸引蜜蜂？嗯，亲爱的，你吸引的只是布莱斯而已。很可爱，是的。但是听到这些之后，我会把这种想法踩在脚下，女孩。踩碎了。”她站起来要走，但转了个身说道：“别担心，我不会说的。”
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. What right did Bryce have to make fun of my uncle? How dare he!
我越想越生气。布莱斯有什么资格嘲笑我的叔叔？他怎么敢！
I stormed back to the section of books on Susan B. Anthony, found two that would work, and then went back to my table. But as I was collecting my things to check out of the library, I remembered. The next day we were going to the Loskis’ house for dinner.
我闯进图书关于苏珊·布朗内尔·安东尼的章节，找到了两条有用信息，然后回答了我的桌子。但我整理着我的东西出图书馆的时候，我想起来了。第二天我们要去洛世奇家吃饭。
I felt fire burn in my cheeks and a cold, hard knot tighten in my heart. And in a flash I knew — I was through with Bryce Loski. He could keep his brilliant blue eyes. He could keep his two-faced smile and… and my kiss. That’s right! He could keep that, too. I was never, ever going to talk to him again!
我感觉到火在烧我的脸颊，而一个冰冷的，坚固的结系在了我心里。一瞬间我知道了——我和布莱斯结束了。他可以保留他闪光的蓝眼睛。他可以保留他两面派的微笑和…和我的吻。没错！他也能保留这个。我永远，永远都不会再和他讲话！
I just shook my head and forgot about Darla. How wrong could a person be.
我只是摇了摇头然后忘了达拉。一个人能够多么错误呢。
Didn’t I?
不是吗？
I zipped up my backpack and threw it on my shoulder. Surely after what had happened, I had the right to vote against going!
我拉上背包把它甩在我肩上。想必在这些发生之后，我有正当的理由投反对票。
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