My mother was there, but she had better things to do than kick a soccer ball around. So she said, anyway. At the time I didn’t think there was anything better than kicking a soccer ball around, especially not the likes of laundry or dishes or vacuuming, but my mother didn’t agree. And the danger of being home alone with her was that she’d recruit me to help her wash or dust or vacuum, and she wouldn’t tolerate the dribbling of a soccer ball around the house as I moved from chore to chore.
我妈妈也在家，但是她有许多比踢足球更重要的事要做。无论如何，这是她说的。我认为没有比踢足球更好的事情做，特别是我不喜欢洗衣服，洗碗或者吸尘，但是我妈妈不同意。而且单独和她在家的危险是，她会让我帮她洗或者弹尘或者吸地，而且她不能忍受我从一个工作点到另一个的时候运球。
The first day I met Bryce Loski, I flipped. Honestly, one look at him and I became a lunatic.
第一天见到布莱斯·洛世奇，我心动了。诚实地说，只看了他一眼我就失去了理智。
Two days before the second grade is when it started, although the anticipation began weeks before — ever since my mother had told me that there was a family with a boy my age moving into the new house right across the street.
这都从二年级的前两天开始，虽然期盼从几个星期前就开始了——从我妈妈告诉我有一家人带着一个和我年纪一样大的男孩会搬到街对面的房子里。
It’s been over six years now, and I learned long ago to hide my feelings, but oh, those first days. Those first years! I thought I would die for wanting to be with him.
现在已经六年过去了，很早以前我就学会了怎样去隐藏我的感觉，哦，但是那最初的几天，那最初的几年！我以为我会想和他在一起想得快死掉。
It’s his eyes. Something in his eyes. They’re blue, and framed in the blackness of his lashes, they’re dazzling. Absolutely breathtaking.
是他的眼睛。他的眼睛里有些难以形容的东西。它们是蓝色的，镶嵌在他漆黑浓密的睫毛后闪闪发光。它们带走了我的呼吸。
Soccer camp had ended, and I’d been so bored because there was nobody, absolutely nobody, in the neighborhood to play with. Oh, there were kids, but every one of them was older. That was dandy for my brothers, but what it left me was home alone.
足球营结束了，从那开始我就非常无聊，因为没有人，没有任何人在街区能陪我玩。哦，当然那里有些孩子，但是它们每一个人都比我大。这对我的哥哥们来说很好，可是我就被一个人留在了家里。
When the Loskis’ moving van finally arrived, everyone in my family was happy. “Little Julianna” was finally going to have a playmate.
当洛士奇的搬家卡车终于到达的时候，我们家的每个人都很开心。“小朱莉安娜”终于可以有个玩伴了。
To play it safe, I waited outside for weeks, just in case the new neighbors moved in early. Literally, it was weeks. I entertained myself by playing soccer with our dog, Champ. Mostly he’d just block because a dog can’t exactly kick and score, but once in a while he’d dribble with his nose. The scent of a ball must overwhelm a dog, though, because Champ would eventually try to chomp it, then lose the ball to me.
安全起见，我在外面等了好几个星期，以防我的新邻居提前搬来。确实的，那是好几个星期。我和我的狗钱普踢足球作为娱乐。大部分的时间他总会失败因为一条狗确实不能踢和得分，不过偶尔他会用鼻子运球。但是狗肯定对足球的气味很敏感，因为钱普终于试着用牙咬住，然后再把球传给我。
My mother, being the truly sensible adult that she is, made me wait more than an hour before going over to meet him. “Give them a chance to stretch their legs, Julianna,” she said. “They’ll want some time to adjust.” She wouldn’t even let me watch from the yard. “I know you, sweetheart. Somehow that ball will wind up in their yard and you’ll just have to go retrieve it.”
我妈妈，一个非常明智的大人，在我过去认识他之前让我等了多于一个小时。“给他们点时间先休息一下，朱莉安娜，”她说，“他们需要一些适应的时间。”她也不让我在院子里观看。“你知道，亲爱的。不知怎么的那个球就会跑进他们的院子，然后你就必须去把它捡回来。”
So I watched from the window, and every few minutes I’d ask, “Now?” and she’d say, “Give them a little while longer, would you?”
所以我只好从窗户里观看，每一分钟我都会问：“现在？”她会说，“在给他们多一点时间，好吗？”
Bryce wasn’t really doing much of anything. He was more hanging back, watching his father move boxes onto the lift-gate. I remember feeling sorry for Mr. Loski because he looked worn out, moving boxes all by himself. I also remember that he and Bryce were wearing matching turquoise polo shirts, which I thought was really cute. Really nice.
布莱斯并没有做任何事。他只是靠在那儿，看着他父亲把箱子搬向后门。我记得我为洛士奇先生感到抱歉因为他看起来筋疲力尽，独自一人搬箱子。我也记得布莱斯当时穿了一件蓝绿色混合的马球衫，我觉得很好，很可爱。
I was too excited not to charge across the street, but I did try very hard to be civilized once I got to the moving van. I stood outside looking in for a record-breaking length of time, which was hard because there he was! About halfway back! My new sure-to-be best friend, Bryce Loski.
我当时太兴奋了，直接冲过了街道，但是当我到达搬家开车时就开始试着彬彬有礼起来。我站在外面的时间打破了记录，这非常艰难，他就在那儿了！站在车厢后半部分！我真正的新朋友，布莱斯·洛士奇。
Then the phone rang. And the minute I was sure she was good and preoccupied, I tugged on her sleeve and asked, “Now?”
然后电话响了。我立即知道她没办法一心二用，我拉着她的袖子问：“现在呢？”
When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I called, “Hi!” into the van, which made Bryce jump, and then quick as a cricket, he started pushing a box like he’d been working all along.
当我不能再忍受的时候，我朝着车厢里说了声，“嗨！”这让布莱斯跳了起来，然后快得像蟋蟀一样，他开始推一个箱子，就像他一直在做事一样。
She nodded and whispered, “Okay, but take it easy! I’ll be over there in a minute.”
她点了头低声说：“好吧，但是别太激动了。我马上就会过去。”
I could tell from the way Bryce was acting so guilty that he was supposed to be moving boxes, but he was sick of it. He’d probably been moving things for days!
我可以从布莱斯内疚的样子看出他应该要搬箱子，但他一点儿也不想。他可能一整天都要搬这些东西！
It was easy to see that he needed a rest. He needed some juice! Something.
这能很容易看出他需要休息。他需要一些果汁！他真的需要。
The tragedy of it catapulted me into the moving van. I had to help! I had to save him!
这样的悲剧让我冲进了搬家车。我必须帮忙！我必须救他！
When I got to his side to help him shove a box forward, the poor boy was so exhausted that he just moved aside and let me take over. Mr. Loski didn’t want me to help, but at least I saved Bryce. I’d been in the moving van all of three minutes when his dad sent him off to help his mother unpack things inside the house.
当我站到他身边帮他推箱子的时候，那个可怜的男孩已经筋疲力尽，他直接站到了一边让我帮忙。洛士奇先生不想让我帮忙，但是至少我救了布莱斯。我在搬家车里呆了整整三分钟，直到他爸爸打发他去帮他妈妈整理屋子。
It was also easy to see that Mr. Loski wasn’t about to let him quit. He was going to keep on moving boxes around until he collapsed, and by then Bryce might be dead. Dead before he’d had the chance to move in!
但是也很容易看出洛士奇先生不会让他停下来。他会一直搬箱子直到他倒下，到那时布莱斯可能已经死了。在他搬进去之前就死了！
I chased Bryce up the walkway, and that’s when everything changed. You see, I caught up to him and grabbed his arm, trying to stop him so maybe we could play a little before he got trapped inside, and the next thing I know he’s holding my hand, looking right into my eyes.
我沿着过道追赶布莱斯，那之后一切都改变了。你知道，我追上了他，抓住了他的胳膊试图阻止他，这样也许我们能在他进屋之前玩儿一会儿，我知道的下一件事是，他牵住了我的手，与我深情对视。
My heart stopped. It just stopped beating. And for the first time in my life, I had that feeling.
我的心跳停止了。它真的停止了跳动。这一生中的第一次，我有了那种感觉。
I was waiting for him to come out when his sister, Lynetta, saw me in the hallway. She seemed big and mature to me, and since she wanted to know what was going on, I told her a little bit about it. I shouldn’t have, though, because she wiggled the bathroom doorknob and started teasing Bryce something fierce. “Hey, baby brother!” she called through the door. “There’s a hot chick out here waiting for you! Whatsa matter? Afraid she’s got cooties?”
我在等他出来的时候，他的姐姐琳内塔看见我站在走廊里。她对我来说很成熟，她想知道发生了什么事，所以我就告诉她了一点点。但是我不应该说，因为她开始转动厕所的门把并且恶劣地嘲笑了布莱斯。“嗨，小弟弟！”她在门外叫道，“这里有个小女孩在等你！怎么了？害怕她长了虱子？”
I almost got my first kiss that day. I’m sure of it. But then his mother came out the front door and he was so embarrassed that his cheeks turned completely red, and the next thing you know he’s hiding in the bathroom.
那一天我几乎得到了我的初吻。这一点我很确定。但是他妈妈出现在了门口，他尴尬得满脸通红，接下来，他就躲进了厕所。
You know, like the world is moving all around you, all beneath you, all inside you, and you’re floating. Floating in midair. And the only thing keeping you from drifting away is the other person’s eyes.
你知道，像整个世界在绕着你旋转，都在你的下方，都在你的里面，你感觉飘了起来，飘在了半空中。唯一让你不要飘走的东西是另一个人的眼睛。
They’re connected to yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and twirls and falls completely away.
它们与你的眼睛被一种不可见的自然力连结在一起，它让你在剩余的世界旋转飞走的时候能够牢牢地站住。
I found my mother outside talking to Mrs. Loski. Mom had given her the beautiful lemon Bundt cake that was supposed to be our dessert that night. The powdered sugar looked soft and white, and the cake was still warm, sending sweet lemon smells into the air.
我发现我妈妈在外面和洛士奇太太聊天。妈妈给了她一个漂亮的柠檬烘蛋糕，那本来是我们当晚的甜点。糖粉看起来柔软而洁白，蛋糕还是热的，空气里散发着甜甜的柠檬味儿。
My mouth was watering just looking at it! But it was in Mrs. Loski’s hands, and I knew there was no getting it back. All I could do was try to eat up the smells while I listened to the two of them discuss grocery stores and the weather forecast.
光看着我都流口水了！但是它已经在洛士奇太太手上了，而且我知道我们也拿不回来。我唯一能做的就是在听她们讨论杂货店和天气预报的时候继续吸它的香味。
After that Mom and I went home. It was very strange. I hadn’t gotten to play with Bryce at all.
过了没多久我和妈妈就回家了。一切都很奇怪。我一点儿都没有机会和布莱斯玩。
All I knew was that his eyes were a dizzying blue, that he had a sister who was not to be trusted, and that he’d almost kissed me.
我仅仅知道他的眼睛是光彩夺目的蓝色，他有一个不值得信任的姐姐，还有他几乎吻了我。
It was so embarrassing! I yanked on her arm and told her to stop it, but she wouldn’t, so finally I just left.
这太尴尬了！我猛地拉住她的手告诉她快停下，但是她不干，最后我只好离开了。
I fell asleep that night thinking about the kiss that might have been. What did a kiss feel like, anyway? Somehow I knew it wouldn’t be like the one I got from Mom or Dad at bedtime. The same species, maybe, but a radically different beast, to be sure. Like a wolf and a whippet — only science would put them on the same tree.
我那天晚上幻想着那个吻睡着了。一个吻的感觉究竟是怎样的呢？不知为什么，我知道它不会像爸爸和妈妈的晚安吻一样。可能是同一种类，但是肯定更激烈和粗鲁。就像一条狼和一只小灵狗——只有科学会把它们放在一切。
Looking back on the second grade, I like to think it was at least partly scientific curiosity that made me chase after that kiss, but to be honest, it was probably more those blue eyes. All through the second and third grades I couldn’t seem to stop myself from following him, from sitting by him, from just wanting to be near him.
再看看二年级，我想不仅仅是对吻强烈的好奇心我才一直追着他，但是诚实地说，更多的因素可能是那双蓝眼睛。整个二年级和三年级我都不能阻止自己跟着他，想坐在他边上，想离他近一点。
By the fourth grade I’d learned to control myself. The sight of him — the thought of him — still sent my heart humming, but my legs didn’t actually chase after him anymore. I just watched and thought and dreamed.
但是到了四年级我学会了控制自己。看着他——想着他——仍旧让我的心颤抖，但是我的双腿不再追着他跑。我只是看着，想着，然后做着梦。
Then in the fifth grade Shelly Stalls came into the picture. Shelly Stalls is a ninny. A whiny, gossipy, backstabbing ninny who says one thing to one person and the opposite to another. Now that we’re in junior high, she’s the undisputed diva of drama, but even back in elementary school she knew how to put on a performance. Especially when it came to P. E. I never once saw her run laps or do calisthenics. Instead, she would go into her “delicate” act, claiming her body would absolutely collapse from the strain if she ran or jumped or stretched.
可五年级的时候雪莉·斯塔尔斯闯了进来。雪莉·斯塔尔斯是个絮絮叨叨，阴险毒辣的长舌妇，总是见人说人话。现在我们在初中了，她是无可置疑的歌剧女主角，但是就算在小学她也知道怎样演出。特别是体育课。我从没见过她跑圈或是做体操。相反的，她会上演“脆弱”的演出，声称如果她跑或跳或做拉伸运动，她会因为拉伤而昏厥过去。
It worked. Every year. She’d bring in some note and be sure to swoon a little for the teacher the first few days of the year, after which she’d be excused from anything that required muscles. She never even put up her own chair at the end of the day. The only muscles she exercised regularly were the ones around her mouth, and those she worked out nonstop. If there was an Olympic contest for talking, Shelly Stalls would sweep the event. Well, she’d at least win the gold and silver — one medal for each side of her mouth.
每一年她都成功。她会带来什么假条然后在学年开始时在老师面前假装昏倒，她会拒绝任何会损害到肌肉的事。她甚至从来不在放学前把椅子翻起来。她正常锻炼的唯一肌肉就是在她嘴巴周围的那些，它们从来不休息。如果奥林匹克里有讲话比赛的话，雪莉·斯塔尔斯会横扫千军。嗯，她至少能得金牌和银牌——分别分给她嘴巴的两侧。
What bugged me about it was not the fact that she got out of P. E.– who’d want her on their team, anyway? What bugged me about it was that anyone who bothered to look would know that it wasn’t asthma or weak ankles or her being “delicate” that was stopping her. It was her hair. She had mountains of it, twisted this way or that, clipped or beaded, braided or swirled. Her ponytails rivaled the ones on carousel horses. And on the days she let it all hang down, she’d sort of shimmy and cuddle inside it like it was a blanket, so that practically all you saw of her face was her nose.
真正烦恼我的并不是她不参加体育课——无论如何，谁会和她在一队呢？真正烦恼我的是任何人只要留心去看就发现阻碍她的并不是哮喘，脚踝扭伤或者是她十分“脆弱”。是她的头发。她有一大把头发，这样那样的发型，夹子或者珠子，辫子或是盘发。她的马尾都可以和旋转木马相比。当她把头发都披下来的时候，她会晃动着，枕着它们，像它们是真正的毛毯一样。所以实际上你可以看到她脸上的就只有她的鼻子。
Good luck playing four-square with a blanket over your head.
顶着一个毯子玩跳格子，我也只有祝她好运了。
My Bryce. The one who was still embarrassed over holding my hand two days before the second grade. The one who was still too shy to say much more than hello to me.
我的布莱斯。依然为二年级前两天牵我的手而尴尬的布莱斯。除了你好之外依旧连对我说话都害羞的布莱斯。
The one who was still walking around with my first kiss.
依旧带着我的初吻在我周围游走的布莱斯。
How could Shelly have wormed her hand into his? That pushy little princess had no business hanging on to him like that!
雪莉·斯塔尔斯怎么能把手伸进他的手呢？那个强势的小公主绝对不能这样对待他！
My solution to Shelly Stalls was to ignore her, which worked just dandy until about halfway through the fifth grade when I saw her holding hands with Bryce.
我对付雪莉·斯塔尔斯的方法是无视她，这很成功，直到五年级过半的一天我看到她和布莱斯牵了手。
Bryce looked over his shoulder from time to time as they walked along, and he was looking at me. My first thought was that he was telling me he was sorry. Then it dawned on me — he needed my help. Absolutely, that’s what it had to be!
布莱斯每一次经过的时候都会回头看我。我的第一个想法是他在说他很抱歉。然后我意识到——他需要我帮忙。绝对的，这是他的意思。
Shelly Stalls was too delicate to shake off, too swirly to be pushed away. She’d unravel and start sniffling and oh, how embarrassing that would be for him! No, this wasn’t a job a boy could do gracefully. This was a job for a girl.
雪莉·斯塔尔斯非常难缠也很难甩掉。她会崩溃然后抽噎，哦，那他会多尴尬啊！不行，这并不是一个男生能够很好地完成的工作。这是个女生的工作。
I was hoping for herds of teachers to appear so they could see the real Shelly Stalls in action, but it was too late by the time anyone arrived on the scene. I had Fluffy in a headlock and her arm twisted back in a hammerlock, and no amount of her squawking or scratching was going to get me to unlock her until a teacher arrived.
我暗自希望一群老师能够立即出现这样他们就能见识到真正的雪莉·斯塔尔斯，可是任何人出现的时候都已经太晚了。我将她的头紧夹入腋下，她的手扭在背后，无论她怎么尖叫或乱抓我都不会放开她，直到老师赶来。
I didn’t even bother checking around for other candidates — I had her off of him in two seconds flat. Bryce ran away the minute he was free, but not Shelly. Oh, no-no-no! She came at me, scratching and pulling and twisting anything she could get her hands on, telling me that Bryce was hers and there was no way she was letting him go. How delicate.
我甚至没有想到仔细看看周围有没有别的学生——两秒钟之内我就把她从他身上拉下来了。布莱斯在他自由的一刻立即跑走了，但是雪莉没有。哦，不，不，不！她立刻冲着我过来，用尽办法又抓又推又拧，告诉我布莱斯是她的，而她绝不会把他让出来。多么难缠。
In the end, Shelly went home early with a bad case of mussed-up hair, while I told my side of things to the principal. Mrs. Shultz is a sturdy lady who probably secretly appreciates the value of a swift kick well placed, and although she told me that it would be better if I let other people work out their own dilemmas, she definitely understood about Shelly Stalls and her hair and told me she was glad I’d had the self-control to do nothing more than restrain her.
最后，雪莉顶着一头乱糟糟的头发提前回家，而我把我的事告诉了校长。夏尔特兹小姐是个很坚定的女士，她大概在暗自感激我快速出击，虽然她告诉我让其他人自己解决问题可能更好些，她绝对了解雪莉·斯塔尔斯和她的头发，然后告诉我她很高兴我控制住了自己没有做比遏制住她更过分的事。
That’s not to say that Bryce held my hand after that, but he did start being a little friendlier to me. Especially in the sixth grade, after Mr. Mertins sat us right next to each other in the third row back.
当然不是说那之后布莱斯牵了我的手，但是他开始对我更友好了。特别是六年级，在马丁斯先生让我们一起坐在倒数第三排之后。
We talked to each other more, too. Especially after Mr. Mertins moved me behind him.
我们说的话也更多了。特别是马丁斯先生让我坐在他后面之后。
Shelly was back the next day with a head full of braids. And of course she got everybody whispering about me, but I just ignored them. The facts spoke for themselves. Bryce didn’t go anywhere near her for the rest of the year.
雪莉第二天顶着满头的辫子回来了。当然她让所有人对我窃窃私语，不过我无视了他们。公道自在人心。剩下的一整年布莱斯都没有再靠近她。
Sitting next to Bryce was nice. He was nice. He’d say Hi, Juli to me every morning, and once in a while I’d catch him looking my way. He’d always blush and go back to his own work, and I couldn’t help but smile. He was so shy. And so cute!
坐在布莱斯边上很好。他也很好。他每天早上都会对我说“嗨，朱莉”，偶尔我会发现他看着我的方向。他每次都会脸红然后继续做他的作业，我没有办法，就只有微笑。他真的很害羞，很可爱！
The pressure of detention made Bryce panic. And even though it bothered my conscience, I’d lean in and whisper answers to him, hoping that maybe I could spend lunch with him instead. His hair smelled like watermelon, and his ear- lobes had fuzz. Soft, blond fuzz. And I wondered about that. How does a boy with such black hair wind up with blond ear fuzz? What’s it doing there, anyway? I checked my own ear-lobes in the mirror but couldn’t find much of anything on them, and I didn’t spot any on other people’s either.
留校的压力让布莱斯很是恐慌。而且尽管烦扰到我的良心，我还是会向前倾然后告诉他答案，希望我可以和他一起吃午饭作为代替。他的头发带着西瓜味，而且他的耳垂上有茸毛。柔软的，金色的茸毛。我对此很奇怪。一个有这样黑色头发的男孩怎么会有金色的茸毛呢？到底是怎么回事？我对着镜子查看了我的耳垂，但是上面什么都没有，而且我也没有在别人身上发现过。
Mr. Mertins had a detention policy about spelling, where if you missed more than seven out of twenty-five words, you had to spend lunch inside with him, writing your words over and over and over again.
马丁斯先生有一个关于拼写的留校察看，只要二十五个词里你拼错多于七个，你就得在午饭时间留下来，一次又一次写你的单词。
I thought about asking Mr. Mertins about earlobe fuzz when we were discussing evolution in science, but I didn’t. Instead, I spent the year whispering spelling words, sniffing watermelon, and wondering if I was ever going to get my kiss.
我想到在我们讨论进化论时问问马丁斯先生关于耳朵茸毛的事，但是我没有。相反的，我用了一年的时间拼写单词，闻西瓜味，幻想我究竟什么时候能得到我的初吻。
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