“All right then,” he said, his voice seething with disapproval. “Up you go.”
“好了”他满是不愿意的说，“走吧”
He helped me onto his back, and took off running. Even after all this time, it felt routine. Easy. Evidently this was something you never forgot, like riding a bicycle.
他把我背上背，飞快地跑着离开了。即使是分开了这么久，这一切仍然很习以为常，很轻松。显然这是一些你永远不会忘记的事，就像骑自行车一样。
I remembered that running through the forest like this used to frighten me, that I used to have to close my eyes. It seemed a silly reaction to me now. I kept my eyes wide, my chin resting on his shoulder, my cheek against his neck. The speed was exhilarating. A hundred times better than the motorcycle.
我想起像这样在森林中疾驰曾经让我害怕，我总是会闭上眼睛。现在看来，这像是愚蠢的反应。我把眼睛睁得大大的，下巴磕在他的肩上，我的双颊紧贴着他的后背。这样的速度让人兴奋，比摩托车要好上一百倍。
He was not pleased, That much was easy to read in his face. But, without further argument, he took me in his arms and sprang lithely from my window, landing without the slightest jolt, like a cat. It was a little bit farther down than I’d imagined.
他并不高兴，这在他脸上很容易就能读出来。但，没有再争吵下去，他把我拥在怀里，轻柔的从窗户跳了下去，几乎没有什么震动，就像猫一样。这比我想象中的要进展的更快一点。
It was so very quiet and dark as he ran through the forest, his breathing slow and even — dark enough that the trees flying past us were nearly invisible, and only the rush of air in my face truly gave away our speed. The air was damp; it didn’t burn my eyes the way the wind in the big plaza had, and that was comforting. As was the night, too, after that terrifying brightness. Like the thick quilt I’d played under as a child, the dark felt familiar and protecting.
他背着我穿越森林，呼吸很慢，四周宁静而漆黑，甚至——连那些飞驰过我们的树木都看不见。只有气流迎面扑来，展示了我们的速度。空气很潮湿，它不像大广场上呼啸而过的风一样刺痛我的眼睛，而是给我一种很舒适的感觉。正如夜晚，同样，在那令人胆怯的黑暗背后，就犹如一张薄被覆盖在调皮玩耍的孩童身上，夜色让人觉得亲近，安全。
“I’ll earn your trust back somehow,” he murmured, mostly to himself. “If it’s my final act.”
“我总会赢回你的信任的”他嘟囔着，很有可能是自言自语。“如果这是我最终的表示。”
I laughed. The sound was easy, natural, effortless. It sounded right. “Not really. More that, either way, I’m not trying to wake up. Not tonight.”
我大笑起来，轻松自然，毫不费力的。听起来是这样。“不完全是。更多的是，不管怎样，我不想醒来。不是今晚。”
“Thank you,” he said, as the vague, black shapes of trees raced past us. “Does that mean you’ve decided you’re awake?”
“谢谢你”他含糊不清地说道，黑色的巨大树影掠过我们。“那是不是意味着你决定你实行者的呢？”
“I trust you,” I assured him. “It’s me I don’t trust.”
“我信任你“我想他保证。“我不信任的是自己”。
I turned my face toward him and pressed my lips into the cold stone skin of his neck.
我转过脸朝着他，嘴唇触碰到了他背上冰冷的，大理石一般的肌肤。
He’d slowed to a walk — I could only tell because the wind ceased — and I guessed that we weren’t far from the house. In fact, I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in the darkness.
他走的慢一点儿了——我只能从风停止了来辨认这一点——我猜我们离家不远了。事实上，我可以辨认出河流正在黑暗中冲击附近的某处的声音。
“Explain that, please.”
“请解释一下那个。”
“Well –” I struggled to find the right way to phrase it. “I don’t trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you. There’s nothing about me that could hold you.”
“恩——”我努力寻找恰当的方式来表述。“我不信任我自己……不够。去配得上你。我没有任何把握可以抓住你。”
He stopped and reached around to pull me from his back. His gentle hands did not release me; after he’d set me on my feet again, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, hugging me to his chest.
他停下来把我从背上放了下来。温柔的手并没有放开我，在我站直之后，他用手臂轻柔的包裹着我，将我拥向他的胸。
I rolled my eyes. “The worst the Volturi can do is kill me.”
我转了转眼珠。“沃尔图里所能做的最坏的事就是杀了我。”
“What?”
“什么？”
He pulled one corner of his mouth up halfheartedly, but the expression didn’t touch his eyes. “If there was only some way to make you see that I can’t leave you,” he whispered. “Time, I suppose, will be the way to convince you.”
他勉强的提起了嘴唇的一角，但是表情没有影响他的眼神。“如果非要有什么方法来让你相信我不会离开你，”他附在我耳旁，“那就是时间，我想，是唯一能说服的方法。”
“Don’t,” I whispered, touching his face. “Don’t be sad.”
“不要”我低声说，摸着他的脸。“不要这么悲伤。”
“I’ll give you one guess.” I sighed, and reached up to touch the tip of his nose with my index finger.
“我会让你猜一猜的”我叹着气，抬起食指碰了碰他的鼻尖。
But how could I not?
但我怎么不怀疑呢？
“Your hold is permanent and unbreakable,” he whispered. “Never doubt that.”
“你对我的掌握是永久的，是牢不可破的”他耳语着。“永远不要怀疑这个。”
He nodded. “I’m worse than the Volturi,” he said grimly. “I guess I’ve earned that.”
他点了点头。“我比沃尔图里更差劲“他严厉的说“我猜我已经得到那项褒奖了”
“You can leave me,” I explained. “The Volturi, Victoria… they’re nothing compared to that.”
“你可以离开我”我解释说，“沃尔图里，维多利亚……他们与之相比都不值一提。”
He waited with tense eyes.
他耐心等着，眼神紧张。
Even in the darkness, I could see the anguish twist his face — it reminded me of his expression under Jane’s torturing gaze; I felt sick, and regretted speaking the truth.
即使在黑暗中，我都可以看到痛苦缠绕着他的脸庞——这让我想起了他在JANE的折磨下那样的表情，我觉得很难受，并且后悔说了实话。
“You never did tell me…” he murmured.
“你从来没有告诉我……”他嘟囔着。
“What your greatest problem is.”
“你最大的麻烦是什么。”
I liked the idea of time. “Okay,” I agreed.
我喜欢时间的提议。“好的”我同意了。
“I think,” I said slowly, “I’m not sure, but I wonder… I think maybe I knew it the whole time.”
“我想”我慢慢说道“我不确定。但是我想……我想也许我一直都知道。”
His face was still tormented. I tried to distract him with inconsequentials.
他的脸还是很让人心痛。我尝试用一些微不足道的事来分散他的注意力。
My attempt worked, to an extent: he laughed. But his eyes retained the misery. “Your things were never gone,” he told me. “I knew it was wrong, since I promised you peace without reminders. It was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the tickets — they’re all under your floorboards.”
我的努力见效了，达到了一个程度：他笑了起来。可他的眼睛里还保留着痛苦。“你的东西我从来都没有拿走“他告诉我。“我知道这是不对的，既然我保证你的宁静就该拿掉那些纪念品。这看起来很愚蠢并且孩子气，但我想要留下自己的一些东西陪伴着你。CD，照片，票——都躺在你的地板下。”
“So — since you’re staying. Can I have my stuff back?” I asked, making my tone as light as I could manage.
“那么——既然你要留下，我可以把我的东西拿回来吗？”我问他，语气尽可能的轻快。
“Really?”
“真的吗？”
He nodded, seeming slightly cheered by my obvious pleasure in this trivial fact. It wasn’t enough to heal the pain in his face completely.
他点了点头，似乎对我发现这个琐碎的事实所表现出来的明显的开心感到有一点点高兴。这还不足以完全治愈他脸上的痛苦。
“What did you know?”
“你知道什么？”
“Some part of me, my subconscious maybe, never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived or died. That’s probably why I was hearing the voices.”
“我的一些部分，我的潜意识或许，从未停止相信，你一直在关心着我，无论我生或是死。这或许就是我为什么一直听见那些声音的原因。”
I only wanted to take away the agony in his eyes, but as I spoke the words, they sounded truer than I expected they would.
我只想带走他眼中的痛苦，但是当我说这些话时，它们听起来比我想象中更加真实。
“It’s pretty pathetic.”
“那实在是很感伤。”
“I guess I didn’t tell Alice about that part.”
“我想我没有告诉爱丽丝那部分。”
“Well, about that… See, I found that… when I was doing something dangerous or stupid… I could remember you more clearly,” I confessed, feeling completely mental. “I could remember how your voice sounded when you were angry. I could hear it, like you were standing right there next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didn’t hurt so much — it was like you were protecting me again. Like you didn’t want me to be hurt.
“恩，关于那个……恩，我发现……当我在做一些危险或者愚蠢的事情时……我可以更清晰的想起你。”我坦白了，“我可以响起你生气时候的声音。我可以听到它，就像你站在我身边一样。大多数时候我试图不要想你，但是着没有什么用——就像你又一次在保护我。就像你不想我受伤害。
“Motorcycle?” he asked. I knew his voice well enough to hear something brewing behind the calm.
“摩托车？”他问道。我太了解他的声音了，听得出那镇定之后的急躁。
“Well, just one voice. Yours. It’s a long story.” The wary look on his face made me wish that I hadn’t brought that up. Would he think I was crazy, like everyone else? Was everyone else right about that? But at least that expression — the one that made him look like something was burning him — faded.
“恩，只有一个声音，你的。这是一个很长的故事。”他脸上谨慎的表情让我希望那不是我引起的。他会觉得我疯了吗，就像别人那样？每个人都对此很确信吗？但至少那个表情——让他看起来像是被什么烧着了一样的表情——终于退去了。
I wasn’t sure how to explain. “Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?”
我不知道该怎么解释。“你记得爱丽丝所说的极限运动吗？”
“Er, right. And before that, with the motorcycle –“
“恩，是的，在那之前，还有摩托车——”
He waited.
他等着。
He spoke the words without inflection or emphasis. “You jumped off a cliff for fun.”
他说话没有音调变化，也没有重音。“你跳崖寻开心。”
There was a very deep silence for a moment. “Voices?” he asked flatly.
随即是很长一段时间的沉默。“声音？”他平淡的问我
“No.”
“没有”
“I’ve got time.” His voice was unnaturally even.
“我有时间”他听起来那么不自然。
“And, well, I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because, underneath it all. I always knew that you hadn’t stopped loving me.”
“而且，恩，我想知道我能如此清晰的听到你的原因是不是就隐藏在这一切下面，我一直都知道你没有停止爱我。”
Again, as I spoke, the words brought with them a sense of conviction. Of rightness. Some deep place inside me recognized truth.
再一次，当我说话时，这些字带来了一种新年，对公正的新年。在我心里的某个深处，我认清了真相。
His words came out half-strangled. “You… were… risking your life… to hear –“
他像是被勒着一样，话说的断断续续。“你……拿……你的生命冒险……去听——”
“Shh,” I interrupted him. “Hold on a second. I think I’m having an epiphany here.”
“嘘”我打断了他。“别说话。我想我在这儿有了一些顿悟。”
Option three: Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.
想法三：爱德华爱我。这种被锤炼出的我们之间的关系。不会因为距离而被破坏，或是时间。不管他比我多特别，多美丽，多遥远或多完美，他就向我一样不可逆转的改变。正如我将一直属于他，他也将一直属于我。
I thought of that night in Port Angeles when I’d had my first delusion. I’d come up with two options. Insanity or wish fulfillment. I’d seen no third option.
我回想起在天使港我第一次产生错觉的时候。我产生了两个想法。神经错乱或者是梦想成真。我没有第三种想法。
But what if…
但是如果……
What if you sincerely believed something was true, but you were dead wrong? What if you were so stubbornly sure that you were right, that you wouldn’t even consider the truth? Would the truth be silenced, or would it try to break through?
如果你真诚的相信什么东西是真的，但是你实际上错了？如果你顽固地确信你是对的，你几乎不会考虑到事实？事实会选择沉默，还是会破裂？
My heart inflated like it was going to crack right through my ribs. It filled my chest and blocked my throat so that I could not speak.
我的心膨胀了起来就像它要穿过我的肋骨破裂了。它填满了我整个胸腔并堵住了我的嗓子使我说不出话来。
“You love me,” I marveled. The sense of conviction and Tightness washed through me again.
“你爱我”我惊叹道。确信的感觉又一次冲洗了我。
Though his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. “Truly, I do.”
尽管他的眼神仍然很忧虑，我最爱的那歪歪的笑容又掠过了他的脸庞。“事实上，我是的。”
“Your epiphany?” he asked, his voice uneven and strained.
“你的顿悟？“他问道，声音显得不自然，不平坦。
“Bella?”
“贝拉？”
“You were better at it than I was, you know,” he told me.
“你知道的，你比我更擅长。”他对我说。
He really did want me the way I wanted him — forever. It was only fear for my soul, for the human things he didn’t want to take from me, that made him so desperate to leave me mortal. Compared to the fear that he didn’t want me, this hurdle — my soul — seemed almost insignificant.
他爱我正如我爱他，那是会持续永远的感情。只是他不愿意拿走我人类的身份，那所谓的灵魂，这样的束缚对我们的感情而言，是致命一击。但与他不再爱我的恐惧相比，我的灵魂，这又算得了什么呢？
“Oh!”
“哦！”
“Oh. Okay. I see.”
“哦，好的。我知道了。”
He took my face tightly between his cool hands and kissed me until I was so dizzy the forest was spinning. Then he leaned his forehead against mine, and I was not the only one breathing harder than usual.
他轻轻的捧起我的脸，埋在冰凉的双手之间。之后那深深的一吻直让我觉得天旋地转。我们两都大口的喘着粗气，他光滑的前额轻靠在我的上面。
Was that what I’d been trying to tell myself?
这就是我一直想要告诉自己的吗？
“Surviving. You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasn’t actively tracking, I was… totally useless. I couldn’t be around my family — I couldn’t be around anyone. I’m embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me.” He grinned, sheepish. “It was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too.”
“撑下去。你，至少付诸努力。每天早上你按时起床，尽力在查理面前表现的正常一些，一如既往。而在我无法积极跟踪的之后，我……一无是处。我无法若无其事的面对家人——我无法若无其事的面对任何人。我如此窘迫的发现，我只能蜷缩在一个角落，等着被痛苦无情的吞没。”他无奈的笑了。“这比你听见那些声音要差劲儿多了。恩，你知道，我也确实是那样的。”
“Better at what?”
“擅长什么？”
“I only heard one voice,” I corrected him.
“我只听到了一个声音”我纠正他。
“I’m just humoring you with this.” He motioned broadly with his hand toward the darkness in front of us as we walked. There was something pale and immense there — the house, I realized. “It doesn’t matter in the slightest what they say.”
“我只是这么说着逗逗你”我们边走，他边随意的在我们前方的黑暗中打着手势。我看见那儿有什么巨大的白色东西——是房子。“他们说什么都无所谓。”
He laughed and then pulled me tight against his right side and started to lead me forward.
他笑了，并小心翼翼的把我拉过了他的右边，领着我前行。
I was deeply relieved that he really seemed to understand — comforted that this all made sense to him. At any rate, he wasn’t looking at me like I was crazy. He was looking at me like… he loved me.
我真的松了一口气，他似乎真的明白了——安慰说这一切对他都有意义。不管怎样，他并不是在看着我，就像我疯了一样。他看着我就像…他爱我。
He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on. The room was just as I’d remembered it — the piano and the white couches and the pale, massive staircase. No dust, no white sheets.
他领我推开了虚掩着的门，在黑暗中打开了灯。房子还是我记忆中的那样——钢琴，白色的长沙发，实心的乳白色长楼梯。没有灰尘，也没有盖着家具的白布单。
Carlisle was suddenly standing beside me, as if he’d been there all along. “Welcome back, Bella.” He smiled. “What can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?”
卡莱尔像幽灵一样突然出现在我身边，他笑着看着我“欢迎回来，贝拉”“早上有什么我们能做的吗？我想，这个时候来访，一定是有什么事儿吧？”
Edward called out the names with no more volume than I’d use in regular conversation. “Carlisle? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?” They would hear.
爱德华像往常一样轻声唤着他们的名字，“卡莱尔？埃斯梅？罗莎莉？埃美特？贾斯帕？爱丽丝？”
I couldn’t help glancing up at Edward’s face as I spoke. His expression was critical, but resigned. When I looked back to Carlisle, he was looking at Edward, too.
当我说话的时候我没办法不偷偷瞥了一眼爱德华。他看起来不太赞成，但是没有反驳我。我望向卡莱尔，他也在盯着爱德华。
“Of course,” Carlisle said. “Why don’t we talk in the other room?”
“当然可以了”卡莱尔说道。“为什么我们不换个房间谈呢？”
“This affects them now, too.” He shrugged indifferently.
“现在也影响到他们了。”他漠不关心的耸了耸肩。
I nodded. “I’d like to talk to everyone at once, if that’s okay. About something important.”
我点了点头。“我想马上和每个人谈谈，如果你们方便的话。这很重要。”
Carlisle led the way through the bright living room, around the corner to the dining room, turning on lights as he went. The walls were white, the ceilings high, like the living room. In the center of the room, under the low-hanging chandelier, was a large, polished oval table surrounded by eight chairs. Carlisle held out a chair for me at the head.
卡莱尔带着我们穿过了明亮的客厅，转弯来到了餐厅，顺手打开了灯。这里的墙是乳白色的，天花板就像客厅那么高。在房间的中心，华丽低悬的枝形吊灯下，是一张宽大锃亮的椭圆形餐桌，周围放了8把椅子。卡莱尔顺手帮我拉出了一把椅子。
I’d never seen the Cullens use the dining room table before — it was just a prop. They didn’t eat in the house.
我从没见过卡莱尔用过餐厅——那只是个摆设嘛。他们从不在家里吃东西。
I swallowed. Their gazing eyes made me nervous. Edward took my hand under the table. I peeked at him, but he was watching the others, his fate suddenly fierce.
我努力咽下了口水。他们的凝视让我有点儿紧张。爱德华在桌下握住了我的手。我瞅了他一眼，他在假装看别人，他突然握紧了。
As soon as I turned to sit in the chair, I saw that we were not alone. Esme had followed Edward, and behind her the rest of the family filed in.
我刚一坐下，他们就来了。埃斯梅跟着爱德华，在她身后是其他的家庭成员。
Carlisle nodded toward me. “The floor is yours.”
卡莱尔对我点了下头。“现在是你的时间了”
Carlisle sat down on my right, and Edward on my left. Everyone else took their seats in silence. Alice was grinning at me, already in on the plot. Emmett and Jasper looked curious, and Rosalie smiled at me tentatively. My answering smile was just as timid. That was going to take some getting used to.
卡莱尔坐在我右侧，爱德华在左侧。其他人也都静静的坐下了。爱丽丝已经明白了我的计谋，一直冲我笑着。埃美特和贾斯帕看起来很好奇，而罗莎莉则试探性地向我笑了笑。
“Well,” I paused. “I’m hoping Alice has already told you everything that happened in Volterra?”
恩……”“我希望爱丽丝已经告诉了你们关于维多利亚的事？”
I threw her a meaningful look. “And on the way?”
我意味深长的看了她一眼。“那在我们途中的呢？”
“Everything,” Alice assured me.
“是的，每一件“爱丽丝向我保证。
“Good,” I sighed with relief. “Then we’re all on the same page.”
“好的”我长吐一口气。“那么我们可以直入主题了”
“That, too,” she nodded.
“也都说了”她点了点头。
“So, I have a problem,” I began. “Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you. They’re going to send someone to check, and I’m sure that’s a bad thing — something to avoid.
“所以，我有麻烦了”我开始说“爱丽丝向维多利亚保证我会成为你们的一份子。他们会派某个人来检查，而我确信那会是一件十分糟糕的事情——我们极力想避免的。”
“Please, let me finish. You all know what I want. And I’m sure you know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you don’t want me, then… I guess I’ll go back to Italy alone. I can’t have them coming here.” My forehead creased as I considered that.
“请让我说完。你们都知道我想要什么。而你们也知道爱德华所想的。我想唯一公平的裁决办法就是投票了。如果你们不想要我，那么……我猜我会独自回到意大利的。我决不能让他们来这里。”当我想到那儿的时候，前额的皮肤都褶皱了。
Esme opened her mouth to speak, but I held up one finger to stop her.
埃斯梅张开嘴想要说话但是我竖起了一根手指阻止了她。
They waited patiently while I tried to order my thoughts.
他们耐心地等待着，我试着整理我的思绪。
“And so, now, this involves you all. I’m sorry about that.” I looked at each one of their beautiful faces, saving the most beautiful for last. Edward’s mouth was turned down into a grimace. “But, if you don’t want me, then I’m not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not.”
“因此，现在，你们所有的人都被卷进来了。我对此感到很抱歉”我依次瞅着他们每个人的美丽脸庞，最后停留在了爱德华身上。他拉下嘴，摆出一副臭脸。“如果你们不想要我的话，我不会勉强你们的，不管爱丽丝愿不愿意。”
“Taking into account, then, that I won’t put any of you in danger either way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire.”
“请慎重考虑，那样我就不会给你们带来危险了。我希望你们在我变成吸血鬼这件事上予以投票。”
There was the faint rumble of a growl in Edward’s chest. I ignored him.
爱德华的胸腔中隐隐发出一阵低沉的怒吼，被我无视了。
“You see,” he explained, looking around the table while he spoke, “there was more than one reason why I didn’t want to shake Aro’s hand there at the end. There’s something they didn’t think of, and I didn’t want to cine them in.” He grinned.
“你们想想”他边解释着边环顾着每一个人，“我那时候不想和阿罗握手的理由实在太多啦。有意见他们没想到，我也不想让他们知道的事情。”他露出洁白的牙齿笑了。
“Which was?” Alice prodded. I was sure my expression was just as skeptical as hers.
“哪一件？”爱丽丝尖声问道。我相信我的表情和她的一样怀疑。
I shuddered. He took that as a yes.
我打了个寒战。他知道我的回答是肯定的。
I half-smiled on the last word, and gestured toward Carlisle to begin.
我半笑着念出了吸血鬼这个词，然后示意卡莱尔可以开始了。
I sighed.
我叹了一大口气。
His expression became more animated. He put his free hand on the shining table and leaned forward.
他的表情更“生动”了。他空着的那只手撑在闪闪发光的餐桌上，身体不断地向前倾。
“About the danger Bella’s referring to,” he continued. “I don’t think we need to be overly anxious.”
“关于贝拉所指的危险”他继续说。“我不认为我们需要过分担心。”
“The Volturi are overconfident, and with good reason. When they decide to find someone, it’s not really a problem. Do you remember Demetri?” He glanced down at me.
“沃尔图里家族由于雄厚的实力显得太自信了。如果他们决定找谁，那当然不成问题。你还记得德米特里吗？”他低下头了看了我一眼。
I glared at him through narrowed eyes. He raised his eyebrows at me, squeezing my hand.
我眯着眼瞪着他。他挑起眉毛对着我，紧紧地捏着我的手。
“Just a minute,” Edward interrupted.
“给我一分钟”爱德华插嘴说。
“I have something to add before we vote.”
“在我们投票之前我有些话想要补充。”
“He finds people — that’s his talent, why they keep him.
“他负责找人——那是他的天赋，也是他们收留他的原因。”
“But after Aro’s little experiments, well…” Edward shrugged.
“但是在阿罗做了一些小小的实验之后，恩……”爱德华耸了耸肩。
“You think he won’t be able to find me,” I said flatly.
“你认为他找不到我。”我谈谈的说道。
“Now, the whole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how Demetri’s talent works. He’s a tracker — a tracker a thousand times more gifted than Jarres was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the… flavor? I don’t know how to describe it… the tenor… of someone’s mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances.
现在，在我们和他们任何一人相处的时候，我努力搜寻他们脑中有利于我们的东西，信息越多越好。因此我看到了德米特里的天赋是怎么施展的。他是个跟踪者——比詹姆斯共鸣一千倍的跟踪者。他的能力跟我或是阿罗所做的有些联系。他捕捉……气味？我不知道该怎么描述……本元？……是思想上的一些东西，然后他跟着那个搜寻。他可以在很远的距离施展。”
He was smug.
他那么自以为是。
“Quite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when they’re planning a visit, and I’ll hide you. They’ll be helpless,” he said with fierce enjoyment. “It will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!”
“太显然了。爱丽丝可以判断他们来访的时间，而我可以把你藏起来。他们一点辙儿也没有。”他显得异常高兴。“那就好像在大干草堆里找稻草的碎屑一样！”
“And how does that solve anything?”
“那能解决一切吗？”
This made no sense. “But they can find you,” I reminded him.
这毫无意义。“但是他们能找到你”我提醒道。
He and Emmett exchanged a glance and a smirk.
他和埃美特交换了一下颜色，得意洋洋的笑了。
“I’m sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense. When it doesn’t work with you, they’ll all be blind.”
“我很确定。他完全依靠于那些感觉。一旦这对你不起作用了，他们就像瞎子一样。”
“All right, then. Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider,” I said coolly. “Let’s vote.”
“好了。爱德华提出了另一种抉择供你们考虑。”我尽力沉着。“我们投票吧。”
“Excellent plan, my brother,” he said with enthusiasm.
“完美的计划，兄弟”他怀着极大的热情说道。
Edward stretched out his arm to smack Emmett’s fist with his own.
爱德华伸出手臂，对上了埃美特的拳头。
“Absolutely not,” I agreed.
“绝对不行。”我附议。
“Alice?”
“爱丽丝？”
I nodded once, keeping my face businesslike, and then moved on.
我马上点了点头，极力维持面部肌肉不扭曲，迅速地走开了。
“Yes,” he said, voice grave. I was a little surprised — I hadn’t been at all sure of his vote — but I suppressed my reaction and moved on.
“行，”他这么严肃的回答，让我有点儿惊讶——我根本不期望会得到他肯定的表决——但是我抑制住了自己的反正走开了。
Esme just glared at Edward.
埃斯梅不说话，只是一直瞪着爱德华。
“And I can take care of myself.”
“但我可以照顾我自己”
I looked toward Edward this time; it would be better to get his opinion out of the way. “Do you want me to join your family?”
这一次我望着爱德华，我最好换一种方法去说服他。“你希望我加入你的家庭吗？”
I straightened up in my chair, focusing. This was my meeting.
我坐直了身子，大家都看着我。这是我的会议。
“No,” Rosalie hissed.
“不行”罗莎莉嘘了一声。
“Yes.”
“行。”
She hesitated, biting down on her full, perfect bottom lip.
她犹豫着，紧紧咬着自己丰满，完美的下嘴唇。
Emmett laughed, and reached across the table toward his brother, extending a fist.
埃美特大笑起来，穿过桌子走到他兄弟面前，伸出了拳头。
His eyes were hard and black as flint. “Not that way. You’re staying human.”
他的眼睛如燧石般漆黑锋利。“不是以那样的方式。你必须保持人类的身份。”
“Idiots,” Alice muttered.
“简直是白痴”爱丽丝嘟囔到。
“Jasper?”
“贾斯帕？”
“Rosalie?”
“罗莎莉？”
“Nice.” Jasper’s voice was appreciative.
“好主意：”贾斯帕看起来赞赏极了。
I nodded slowly, and then turned to Emmett.
我缓缓的点了点头，走到了埃美特身边。
I was still grimacing at that when I looked at Esme.
当我看着埃斯梅时仍旧为了刚才在做鬼脸。
“Hell, yes!” He grinned.
“该死，行！”他笑了。
“Yes, of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family.”
“当然是行了，贝拉。我早就想让你成为我们家的一员了。”
“Let me explain,” she pleaded. “I don’t mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. It’s just that… this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me.”
“让我解释一下”她为自己申诉。“我并没有厌恶你成为我妹妹的意思。只是……成为吸血鬼并不是我自己选择的生活。我希望曾经能有人为我自己投了‘不行’”
I kept my face blank and turned my head slightly to move on, but she held up both her hands, palms forward.
我一脸茫然，稍稍转过头继续走，但她举起了双手，手掌冲前。
“It’s the only way that makes sense,” Carlisle insisted. “You’ve chosen not to live without her, and that doesn’t leave me a choice.”
“这是唯一管用的一招”卡莱尔坚持着。“你选择不和他生活在一起，但这不会影响我的选择。”
“We can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri.”
“我们可以找到其他办法去对付德米特里”
“Thank you, Esme,” I murmured as I turned toward Carlisle.
“谢谢你，埃斯梅”当我走向卡莱尔时我小声说道。
I was suddenly nervous, wishing I had asked for his vote first. I was sure that this was the vote that mattered most, the vote that counted more than any majority.
我突然很紧张，希望我已经第一个问过他了。我知道这是最关键的一票，一票重于剩下的大多数。
Carlisle wasn’t looking at me. “Edward,” he said.
卡莱尔没有看我。“爱德华”他说话了。
“No.”
“不行。”
“No,” Edward growled. His jaw was strained tight, his lips curled back from his teeth.
“不行”他咆哮着，下颚不自然的绷紧，嘴唇愤怒的翻卷起来。
Esme was at my side in a flash, her cold arms around me. “Dearest Bella,” she breathed.
埃斯梅像闪电般突然出现在我身边，她用冰冷的手臂抱住我。“我最亲爱的贝拉”她低声的说。
“Well, Alice,” I said when Esme released me.
“恩，爱丽丝”埃斯梅一放开我我便说道。
I was still staring after Edward. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
我还在盯着爱德华。”谢谢你，”我说。
I flinched, and spoke quickly. “That’s all I needed. Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you, too.” My voice was jagged with emotion by the end.
我有点儿担心，很快地说道“这就是我所需要的。谢谢你们对我的维护。我对你们也一样。”说到最后，我禁不住哽咽了。
An earsplitting crash echoed from the other room.
突然，另一个房间里传来震耳欲聋的撞击声。
Alice stared at me, her eyes widening with terror.
爱丽丝盯着我，眼睛睁得老大老大，像是看到了什么恐怖的东西。
“No! No! NO!” Edward roared, charging back into the room. He was in my face before I had time to blink, bending over me, his expression twisted in rage. “Are you insane?” he shouted. “Have you utterly lost your mind?”
“不！不！不！”爱德华大声叫着，冲回了房间。我还没来得及眨眼，他就奔到了我面前，怒气冲冲的冲着我后面喊道“你们都疯了吗？”他嚷嚷着，完美的脸因极度的愤怒而扭曲了。“你们都没脑子了吗？！”
Edward dropped my hand, shoving away from the table. He stalked out of the room, snarling under his breath.
爱德华甩开我的手，用力推向桌子。伴随着沉重的呼吸和低沉的怒吼，他大步走出房间。
“Where do you want to do this?”
“你想在哪儿做这件事呢？”
“I guess you know my vote.” Carlisle sighed.
“我猜你知道我的那一票了”卡莱尔叹了口气。
I hugged her back. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rosalie looking down at the table, and I realized that my words could be construed in two ways.
我也抱住了她。从眼角的余光里，我看见罗莎莉一直在盯着桌子看，我突然意识到我话可以被解释成两种意思。
“You can do it,” I encouraged. “I trust you.”
“你可以的”我鼓励她说“我信任你。”
“I’m able to do it,” he answered my question. I wished I could see his expression. “You would be in no danger of me losing control.”
“我可以做到”他回答了我的问题。我真希望我能看见他的表情。“你完全不用担心我会失去控制。”
Edward grabbed my face in his hand, forcing me to look at him. His other hand was out, palm toward Carlisle.
爱德华一只手扳回我的脸，强迫我看着他。另一只手伸向卡莱尔，手掌对着他。
“Sounds good.” I hoped he could understand; it was hard to talk clearly the way Edward held my jaw.
“听起来太棒了”我希望他能明白。爱德华抓住我的下颚，我很难把话说明白。
Edward snarled in fury.
爱德华陷入一片怒火之中。
Alice shook her head quickly, looking panicked.
爱丽丝快速的摇了摇头，看起来惊慌失措。
Carlisle ignored that.
卡莱尔像没看见一样。
“Um, Bella,” Alice interjected in an anxious voice. “I don’t think I’m ready for that. I’ll need to prepare…”
“恩，贝拉” 爱丽丝担心的插了一句，“我不认为我现在能做那个。我需要准备……”
“Of course you can,” I said sourly. “Now let go of me.”
“你当然能了”我愠怒地对他说“现在放开我”
“There’s no reason for it not to be now,” I said, the words coming out distorted.
“没有理由不现在做啊”我艰难的吐出这句话。
“You promised,” I reminded her, glaring under Edward’s arm.
“你保证过的”我提醒她，在爱德华的手臂之下瞪着她。
“I know, but… Seriously, Bella! I don’t have any idea how to not kill you.”
“我知道，但是……这事关重大，贝拉！我完全不知道怎么才能不杀掉你。”
“Hold on,” Edward said between his teeth. “It doesn’t have to be now.”
“等一等”这几个字像是从爱德华的牙尖儿里崩出来的“没有必要现在就做。”
I cringed away, my hands over my ears.
我低低的缩起了身子，使劲儿堵住了我的耳朵。
“I can think of a few?”
“能让我想一想吗？”
“Carlisle?” I turned to look at him.
“卡莱尔？”我转过来看着他。
This was always the hardest part. Charlie, Renee. Now Jacob, too. The people I would lose, the people I would hurt. I wished there was some way that I could be the only one to suffer, but I knew that was impossible.
这总是最困难的一部分。查理，雷妮，现在雅各布也进来了。我会失去他们，伤害他们。我真希望有一天我能独自来承担着一些，但我知道那是不可能的。
“All three of them.” But I frowned.
“他们三个。”但我皱起了眉头。
At the same time, I was hurting them more by staying human. Putting Charlie in constant danger through my proximity. Putting Jake in worse danger still by drawing his enemies across the land he felt bound to protect.
与此同时，我作为人类会伤害他们更多。和我的亲近关系把查理一次又一次的推向危险，而我把杰克的敌人引到他的保护地让他的情况变得更糟糕。
He freed my face, and folded his arms across his chest. “In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn’t put it past him to involve the police.”
他松开了我的脸，双手抱胸站在那儿。“两个小时之内，查理将会到这儿来找你，我不想把警察牵涉在内。”
Accepting this, I knew I needed to be able to take care of myself and protect the ones I loved, even if that meant that I couldn’t be with them. I needed to be strong.
接受了它，我就必须保护好自己和那些我爱的人们，即使这迫使我不得不离开他们。我要变得强大。
I was a danger magnet; I’d accepted that about myself.
我是一块麻烦的磁铁，而我也接受了这样的安排。
And Renee — I couldn’t even risk a visit to see my own mother for fear of bringing my deadly problems along with me!
还有雷妮——怕我的麻烦连累她，我甚至不能冒险去看望我自己的母亲。
“In the interest of remaining inconspicuous,” Edward said, still talking through his gritted teeth, but looking at Carlisle now, “I suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie’s house.”
“为了那些剩余的小福利，”。爱德华仍然从他那砂砾般的牙齿间蹭出这些话，但是现在正看着卡莱尔“我建议我们推迟这个谈话，至少要等贝拉完成高中学业，并搬出查理之后再说。”
“Just in case Charlie wakes up early.”
“以防万一查理醒来的很早”
Edward relaxed. His jaw unclenched.
爱德华一下子放松了。他的下颚终于不再紧绷了。
“I should probably take you home,” he said, more calm now, but clearly in a hurry to get me out of here.
“我或许应该带你回家了”他说着，现在镇定多了，但还是急着想要我离开这儿。
Edward rushed me out of the house before Carlisle could promise me anything else. He took me out the back, so I didn’t get to see what was broken in the living room.
爱德华在卡莱尔来得及向我保证其他事情之前，一把抓起我，跑着奔出了房子。他把我带回来了，因此我看不见客厅里的什么被撞坏了。
“You have my word.”
“我向你承诺。”
It was a quiet trip home. I was feeling triumphant, and a little smug. Scared stiff, too, of course, but I tried not to think about that part. It did me no good to worry about the pain — the physical or the emotional — so I wouldn’t. Not until I absolutely had to.
回家的路上一直很安静，我为我的胜利而感到小小的得意。当然，还有变成吸血鬼时的恐惧，但是我努力不去想这一部分。考虑这无论是身体上或是精神上的痛苦对我来说没有任何的好处，所以不到不得不面对的那一刻起我是不会再去思考它的。
I pursed my lips. “I’ll consider it.”
我皱起嘴唇，“我会考虑的。”
I looked at Carlisle. “After graduation?”
我看了看卡莱尔。“毕业之后？”
I took a deep breath, smiled, and turned back to Edward. “Okay. You can take me home.”
我深呼吸了一口，微笑着走向爱德华。“好吧，带我回家吧。”
I thought about Charlie’s reaction when he woke up this morning, if — after all that life had put him through in the last week with Harry’s loss, and then I had put him through with my unexplained disappearance — he were to find my bed empty. Charlie deserved better than that. It was just a little more time; graduation wasn’t so far away…
我想到了查理早上睁眼之后的反应，如果——毕竟生活让他上周饱尝了逝去HARRY的痛苦，而现在我又要让他承受我莫名其妙的失踪——他会看见我的空床的。查理不应该受到这样的对待。只是要再过一段时间而已嚒。毕业也不远了……
“That’s a reasonable request, Bella,” Carlisle pointed out.
“那是个合理的请求，贝拉，”卡莱尔指出来。
“Ugh,” I groaned, throwing myself back on the bed and pulling the quilt over my head.
“噢，”我叹息道，重新躺下，拉起被子蒙在头上。
“If you don’t mind, I’d much rather you didn’t hide your face. I’ve lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now… tell me something.”
“如果你不介意，我希望你不要把脸遮起来。看不见你的脸颊，让我无法忍受。现在……来回答我一些问题。”
He paced silently back and forth across my dark room while I watched with growing suspicion.
他在我黑暗的房间里静静地来回踱步，我越来越怀疑地看着他。
“If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?”
“在这个世界上你想得到的东西，任何东西，这会是什么？”
“What?” I asked, unwilling.
“什么问题？”我及不情愿的问道。
When we got to my house, Edward didn’t pause. He dashed up the wall and through my window in half a second. Then he pulled my arms frcm around his neck and set me on the bed.
当到达我家的时候，爱德华并没有停下，他直接冲上墙壁，瞬间便飞进我的窗户。然后他把我的双臂从他的脖子上拉下来，我把安顿在床上。
I could feel the skepticism in my eyes. “You.”
我可以感觉到我眼中的怀疑。“是你。”
There was no sound, but suddenly he was there. He flipped the cover back so he could see me. He was lying next to me. His hand reached up to brush my hair from my cheek.
突然的，他毫无生息的出现在我身边。他拉开被子躺在我身边，伸手把我的头发从脸颊边拨开，好看清我的脸。
I thought I had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking, but his expression surprised me. Instead of furious, it was calculating.
本来我以为我很清楚他在想什么，但是看到他脸上的表情时，我吃惊了。不是愤怒，而是在阴谋计划着什么。
“Shh. I’m thinking.”
“嘘，我正在思考。”
“Whatever you’re planning, it’s not going to work,” I told him.
“无论你在算计着什么，我都不会同意的。”我告诉他。
“I would want… Carlisle not to have to do it. I would want you to change me.”
“我希望……你来帮我转变，而不是由卡莱尔。”
I watched his reaction warily, expecting more of the fury I’d seen at his house. I was surprised that his expression didn’t change. It was still calculating, thoughtful.
我警惕的看着他的反应，更多的期望看到他的愤怒，就像刚才在他家那时一样。我很吃惊他的表情没有任何变化，仍然是算计着什么，思考着什么。
I wasn’t sure where he was trying to lead me, so I thought carefully before I answered. I came up with something that was both true, and also probably impossible.
我不知道他是不是正在引导我走进他的陷阱，所以我很仔细的考虑了一下。我最后想到一个答案，是一个真实的，又很可能做不到的答案。
He frowned. “Three years?”
他皱了皱眉头。“那么三年？”
“What would you be willing to trade for that?”
“你打算用什么来交换这个愿望呢？”
“Yes, but… you’ll use the time to find a way out of it. I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it’s just too dangerous to be human — for me, at least. So, anything but that.”
“是那么说过没错。但是……你可能会利用这个时间在耍写阴谋诡计。我不得不趁热打铁，而且，至少对我来说，作为一个人类太危险了。所以除了这个的其他任何事情。”
He smiled faintly, and then pursed his lips. “Five years?”
他温柔的笑了，嘴拢成一线。“五年？”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I gawked at his composed face and blurted out the answer before I could think about it. “Anything.”
我不能相信我所听到的。我呆呆的看着他那镇定自若的脸，未加思索便回答。“任何事情。”
My face twisted into an expression somewhere between chagrin and horror.
我的脸因愤怒和惊骇扭曲起来。
“You said anything,” he reminded me.
“你说了任何东西的，”他提醒我。
He shook his head impatiently. “Something you don’t already have.”
他立刻摇头。“你还没有拥有的东西。”
“No!”
“不！”
He rolled his eyes. “Not good enough.”
他翻了一下他的眼睛。“不够好。”
“Edward, please be serious.”
“爱德华，请严肃一点。”
“At least give me two.”
“至少得给我两年。”
His eyes were cautious — he spoke slowly. “Marry me first.”
他的眼神非常谨慎——他慢慢说道“先嫁给我。”
“Condition?” My voice went flat. “What condition?”
“条件？”我的声音显得无力“什么条件？”
“Oh, c’mon,” I said, an edge of hysteria in my voice. “I’m only eighteen.”
“噢，拜托，”我歇斯底里的说“我只有十八岁。”
He sighed. “You’re wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it’s a joke.”
他叹了口气：“贝拉，你伤害了我的自尊心。我刚刚就是在向你求婚，你却把它当成笑话。”
“No way. Nineteen I’ll do. But I’m not going anywhere near twenty. If you’re staying in your teens forever, then so am I.”
“绝不，十九岁我一定要转变，我决不能等到二十。如果你永远停留在你的十几岁，那么我也要这样。”
“One year, then,” I said. “That’s my limit.”
“那么一年，”我说道。“这是我的极限了”
He thought for a minute. “All right. Forget time limits. If you want me to be the one — then you’ll just have to meet one condition.”
他考虑了一分钟。“好吧！忘掉时间期限吧！如果你希望由我来转变你——你只需要答应一个条件。”
I thought about how much I wanted this. Better to keep a poker face, I decided, and not let him know how very much that was. It would give me more leverage. “Six months?”
我知道我有多么期望能够由爱德华来转变我。不过我决定不能让他发现这一点，这才有讨价还价的余地，所以我摆出一副一本正经的脸。“六个月如何？”
I stared at him, waiting…”Okay. What’s the punch line?”
我盯着他，等待着……“好的。关键的部分呢？你怎么求婚？”
“I am one hundred percent serious.” He gazed at me with no hint of humor in his face.
“我百分之百的严肃。”他盯住我，一脸严肃，看不出一点幽默。
“Isn’t it worth anyrhing to you at all?”
“对你来说这个愿望也太不值钱了。”
“You think you’re joking.”
“你是在开玩笑。”
“Because she’d rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married.” He laughed darkly.
“因为相对于结婚，她更希望你变成一个永生的吸血鬼。”他讥笑道。
“I’m… afraid of Renee. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before you’re thirty.”
“我……害怕蕾妮。她会强烈地反对在三十岁之前结婚的。”
“Well, I’m nearly a hundred and ten. It’s time I settled down.”
“当然，我已经快要一百一十岁了，是到我安定的时候了。”
He inhaled deeply. “Please don’t tell me that you’re afraid of the commitment,” his voice was disbelieving, and I understood what he meant.
他深深的吸了一口气：“不要告诉我你害怕责任。”他的声音中充满了怀疑，我知道他的意思。
“Well,” I interrupted. “What if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?”
“好吧”我打断他“如果我同意嫁给你呢？如果我现在就让你带我去Vegas（维加斯）呢？三天之内我能变成吸血鬼吗？”
“Look, marriage isn’t exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Renee and Charlie.”
“看，准确地说结婚并不在我的优先列表里，你知道吗？这对蕾妮和查理而言就像死神之吻。”
I looked away, out the dark window, trying to control the panic before it gave me away.
我转过头盯住漆黑的窗外，试图控制住我的惊慌。
“You know what I mean.”
“你知道我的意思。”
“That’s not it exactly,” I hedged.
“不是那样的”我避免作出正面回答。
“Interesting choice of words.”
“很有趣的说法。”
“Bella, if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire…” He shook his head. “If you’re not brave enough to marry me, then –“
“贝拉，如果你将婚姻的责任与用你的灵魂交换成为一个永生的吸血鬼这两件事对比一下……”他摇了摇头，“如果你不够勇敢嫁给我，那么——”
I groaned again.
我又叹了一口气。
He gauged my expression for a second. “Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?”
他观察了一会我的表情，“如果我藏到你的衣柜里，是不是很孩子气？”
“Charlie’s getting up; I’d better leave,” Edward said with resignation.
“查理要起床了，我最好离开。”爱德华温顺的说道。
My heart stopped beating.
我的心脏停止了跳动。
He chuckled. “Is that why you won’t marry me?”
他笑了起来“这就是你不嫁给我的原因是吗？”
He leaned toward me; his night-dark eyes melted and smoldered and shattered my concentration.
他向我靠了过来，他那黑夜般的眼睛融化了、烧毁了、粉碎了我的注意力。
“Fine. I’ll have Carlisle do it when I graduate.”
“好吧。我毕业的时候让卡莱尔帮我转变吧！”
“You’re impossible,” I groaned. “A monster.”
“你简直不可理喻。”我叹息地说。“一个怪物。”
“Please, Bella?” he breathed.
“拜托，贝拉？”他轻声地说道。
I forgot how to breathe for a moment. When I recovered, I shook my head quickly, trying to clear my suddenly clouded mind.
我一度忘记了怎样呼吸。当我恢复的时候，我快速的摇了摇我的头，想让迷糊的头脑变得清醒起来。
“Dammit.” I muttered. “I’ll give you eighteen months.”
“该死。”我低声说，“我宁可给你十八个月。”
“Would this have gone better if I d had time to get a ring.”
“如果我现在手上拿着戒指是不是会变得更好一些？”
“Oops.”
“噢。”
“No deal,” he said, grinning. “I like this condition.”
“不行”他笑着说“我喜欢这个条件”
“No! No rings!” I very nearly snouted.
“不！不要戒指！”我几乎要大叫起来。
He smiled, his teeth flashing in the dark. “Sure,” he said, calling my bluff. “I’ll get my car.”
他笑了，牙齿在黑暗中闪了一下。“当然，”他说，他诱我摊牌“我去开车。”
“If that’s what you really want.” He shrugged, and his smile became absolutely angelic.
“如果你真的希望这样的话。”他耸耸肩，露出了天使的笑容。
“Now you’ve done it,” he whispered.
“这就表示你答应了。”他低声耳语。
“Hold on,” Charlie said, flipping the light on. I blinked in the sudden brightness, and carefully kept my eyes away from the closet. “Let’s talk for a minute first.”
“等等”查理说着打开了灯。我有点儿不适应这突如其来的明亮，并小心翼翼地回避着壁橱。“让我先谈个几分钟吧”
“No,” I whispered eagerly. “Stay. Please.”
“不。”我低声的恳求“留下来，拜托。”
“Yeah. I’ve just been waiting ior you to wake up so I could take a shower.” I started to get up.
“恩。我只是一直在等你醒来呢，这样我就能冲一澡了。”我说着开始起床。
“I just about went crazy these last three days. I come home from Harry’s funeral, and you’re gone. Jacob could only tell me that you’d run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didn’t leave me a number, and you didn’t call. I didn’t know where you were or when — or if — you were coming back. Do you have any idea how… how…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. He sucked in a sharp breath and moved on. “Can you give me one reason why I shouldn’t ship you off to Jacksonville this second?”
“我过去那三天都快要疯了：我从哈利的葬礼上回来，而你却不见了。雅各布只能告诉我你和爱丽丝一起跑了，他想你是遇到麻烦了。你一个电话都没给我打，也没给我留个号码。我不知道你在哪儿或者什么时候——或者是不是——你回来了。你知道怎么。。怎么”他说不下去了，呼吸突然急促，来回走动起来。“你能给我个理由不让我把你再送到JACKSONVILLE吗？”
Edward smiled and disappeared.
爱德华笑了一下，接着消失了。
“Morning, Dad.”
“早上好，爸爸”
I seethed in the darkness as I waited for Charlie to check on me. Edward knew exactly what he was doing, and I was willing to bet that all the injured surprise was part of the ploy. Of course, I still had the Carlisle option, but now that I knew there was a chance that Edward would change me himself, I wanted it bad. He was such a cheater.
我激动的在黑暗中等待查理来查探。爱德华清楚地知道查理的一举一动，我敢打赌奇袭也是策略的一部分。当然我仍可以让卡莱尔帮我，但是现在他让我知道了有一个机会可以让爱德华自己亲自转变我，我强烈的期望他能这样做。他真是个狡猾的家伙。
My door cracked open.
我的门啪的一声打开了。
“Yeah, I know.”
“是的，我知道。”
I couldn’t control my grimace. I’d forgotten to ask Alice for a good excuse. “You know you’re in trouble.”
我禁不住吓坏了，脸部肌肉顿时扭曲。我早该和爱丽丝要个更好的理由的。“你知道你惹上麻烦了”
“Oh, hey, Bella.” He sounded embarrassed at getting caught. “I didn’t know you were awake.”
“噢，嘿。贝拉”听起来被撞个正着，让他觉得很尴尬。“我不知道你已经醒了。”
His face turned bright red. He took a few deep breaths before he answered. “Would you like to explain where you’ve been?”
他的脸变成了亮红色，开口前大大的吸了几口气。“你愿意说说你去哪儿了吗？”
My eyes narrowed. So it was going to be threats, was it? Two could play at that game. I sat up, pulling the quilt around me. “Because I won’t go.”
我皱起了眼睛。这不是在威胁我吗？这是场你来我往的比赛。我坐起来，揪过被子裹住自己。“因为我不想去”
“Now just one minute, young lady –“
“现在只有一分钟，年轻的女士——”
Oh, crap. “There was… an emergency.”
哦，废话。“有个……紧急事件。”
“See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff…” I was scrambling frantically to make this work, to keep it as close to the truth as possible so that my inability to lie convincingly would not undermine the excuse, but before I could go on, Charlie’s expression reminded me that he didn’t know arything about the cliff.
“恩，爱丽丝告诉了罗莎莉我跳崖的事……”我尽力争取让这奏效，好让它听起来尽可能的接近事实以防我那可怜的撒谎技巧和找的理由自相矛盾。但我还没继续说呢，查理的表情就提醒了我他还不知道跳崖的事呢。
“Look, Dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I’ve learned my lesson. And I guess you’re within your rights if you want to kick me out, too — but that won’t make me to go to Florida.”
“看吧，爸爸。我愿意为自己的行为负上全部责任，你当然有权利尽你所能的追究我。我也会努力做好所有的家务，洗好所有的衣服，端上可口的饭菜直到你认为我得到应有的教训了。如果你想赶我走，那也是你的权利。——但是这不意味着我会去佛罗里达州。”
I filled my cheeks with air and then blew it out noisily. “I don’t know what to tell you, Dad. It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand.”
我鼓起腮帮，吹出声音来。“我不知道该告诉你什么，爸爸。这看上去更像一个误会。他说，她也说。然后就失控了。”
He raised his eyebrows in expectation of my brilliant explanation.
他抬起了眼，还在期望我天花烂坠的解释。
He waited with a distrustful expression.
他不相信的等着。
Charlie’s face was frozen. “Were you trying to kill yourself, Bella?”
查理的脸像是冻住了。“你在哪准备自杀，贝拉？”
Major oops. As if I wasn’t already toast.
该死。就好像我还没有祝酒。（这句不知道怎么翻译）
Charlie’s face heated up — from frozen to hot with fury. “What’s it to Edward Cullen anyway?” he barked. “All this time, he’s just left you dangling without a word –“
查理的脸涨红了——被狂怒从冰点烧到了沸点。“这和爱德华有什么关系吗？”他吼道。“这段时间，他把你撂在这儿没说一句话就走了——”
I interrupted him. “Another misunderstanding.”
我打断了他。“另一个误会。”
“No, of course not. Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing.”
“不是，当然不是了。只是和杰克开的一个玩笑。跳崖潜水。拉普什的孩子们整天都在做这个。就像我说的，没什么。”
“I’m not sure what the exact plan is. I think they all are.”
“我不确定具体的计划是什么。我想他们都是。”
“I guess I didn’t tell you about that,” I choked out. “It was nothing. Just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I wa? trying to kill myself or something. He wouldn’t answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to… L. A., to explain in person.” I shrugged, desperately hoping that he would not be so distracted by my slip that he’d miss the brilliant explanation I’d provided.
“我猜我还没有来的及告诉你呢”我快窒息了。“没什么。就是到处闲逛，和杰克一起游游泳。总之，罗莎莉告诉了爱德华，他很不安。有点意外的，这听起来像是我要自杀之类的。他的电话打不通，所以爱丽丝拖着我去……洛杉矶，解释一下。”我耸了耸肩，打心眼里希望他不会分心于我的什么疏漏，错过了我精彩的解释。
His face flushed again. “So is he back then?”
他的脸又红起来了。“因此他之后回来了？”
“Fine,” I said curtly.
“好吧，”我干脆的回答了他。
Charlie rocked back onto his heels. “Oh.” He scrambled for a second, exhaling loudly in surprise. “I thought you were going to be difficult.”
查理来回搓着鞋跟。“哦。”他有那么有那么几秒很困惑，之后吃惊的大呼了一口气。“我还以为你会很难做的。”
He shook his head, the vein in his forehead pulsing. “I want you to stay away from him, Bella. I don’t trust him. He’s rotten for you. I won’t let him mess you up like that again.”
他摇了摇头，额上青筋暴起。“我想让你离他远一点儿，贝拉。我不信任他。他对你来讲像毒药一样。我不能让他再像那样把你弄的一团糟。”
“I am.” I stared straight into his eyes. “I meant, ‘Fine, I’ll move out.'”
“我是的。”我直直的盯着他的眼睛。“我指，好吧，我会搬出去。”
“Dad, I don’t want to move out,” I said in a softer tone. “I love you. I know you’re worried, but you need to trust me on this. And you’re going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?”
“爸爸，我不想搬出去”，我换了一种更柔和的语气。“我爱你。我知道你很担心，但你必须信任我。如果你想留下我，那你就得容得下爱德华。你还希望我住在这儿吗？”
His eyes bulged; his face turned puce. My resolve wavered as I started to worry about his health. He was no younger than Harry…
他的眼球都快胀出来了，脸色阴沉下来。我开始有点儿担心他的健康，自己是不是决定的太仓促了。他不比哈利更年轻……
“Then be nice to Edward, because he’s going to be where I am.” I said it with confidence. The conviction of my epiphany was still strong.
“那就对爱德华好点儿，因为我在哪，他在哪。”我自信的说道，仍然坚持着我的信仰。
“That’s not fair, Bella. You know I want you to stay.”
“那不公平，贝拉。你知道我多么向你留下来。”
“Not under my roof,” Charlie stormed.
“不能在我家”查理发火了。
I sighed a heavy sigh. “Look, I’m not going to give you any more ultimatums tonight — or I guess it’s this morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal.”
我重重的叹了口气。“你看，我不准备在今晚就给你下最后通牒——或者我想这个早晨。好好考虑几天吧，好吗？但是你一定要记住爱德华和我是密不可分的。”
“It’s not as if I don’t deserve far worse,” he murmured. “Don’t start anything with Charlie over me, please.”
“我做的远比这要糟的多”他小声嘟囔着。“别再为了我和查理争论任何事了，求你了。”
“Bella –“
“贝拉——”
“Think it over,” I insisted. “And while you’re doing that, could you give me some privacy? I really need a shower.”
“好好想想”我坚持道。“在你思考的时候，能给我一点儿私人空间吗？我的确得洗个澡。”
Charlie’s face was a strange shade of purple, but he left, slamming the door behind him. I heard him stomp furiously down the stairs.
查理的脸变成了奇怪的酱紫色，但是他还是离开了，并重重地关上了们。我听见他砰砰下楼的声音。
“Sorry about that,” I whispered.
“抱歉，”我小声说道。
I threw off my quilt, and Edward was already there, sitting in the rocking chair as if he d been present through the whole conversation.
我甩开了被子，爱德华已经坐在摇晃的椅子上了，就好像他从未离开过一样。
“Don’t worry about it,” I breathed as I gathered up my bathroom things and a set of clean clothes. “I will start exactly as much as is necessary, and no more than that. Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?” I widened my eyes with false alarm.
“别担心了”我边整理东西，边找出一套干净的衣服，低低告诉他。“事实上我会据理力争的，而且绝不会过分。或者，你是打算告诉我我没有地方可去吗？”我故意惊恐的瞪大了眼睛。
“If Charlie kicks me out, then there’s no need for a graduation deadline, is there?”
“如果查理将我扫地出门的话，那么就不需要等到毕业了吧，是吧？”
His jaw tightened. “So eager for eternal damnation,” he muttered.
他的下颚又绷紧了。“这么迫切的想要那个永久的诅咒”他喃喃说。
“You know you don’t really believe that.”
“你知道你并不真是那么想的”
“If you really believed that you’d lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn’t — you said ‘Amazing. Carlisle was right,'” I reminded him, triumphant. “There’s hope in you, after all.”
“如果你真的相信你已经丢掉了自己的灵魂，那么当我在沃尔图里那儿找到你时，你会立即意识到发生了什么事，而不是以为我们都死了。但是你没有——你说你很惊讶。卡莱尔是对的”我洋洋得意的提醒他，“不管怎么说，你还抱着一线希望。”
“Oh, don’t I?” he fumed.
“哦，我不是吗？”他有些生气了。
“That’s all I’m asking for,” I said, and stretched up on my toes so that I could press my lips to his.
“那是我期冀的全部”我说着，微微踮起脚尖，吻上了他的唇。
“That’s probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides…” I grinned.
“对于像我这样的人来说，那儿也许是最安全的地方了。另外……”我偷偷的笑了。
“So let’s both just be hopeful, all right?” I suggested. “Not that it matters. If you stay, I don’t need heaven.”
“所以，我们都是有希望的，对吗？”我继续教唆他“不是那样的。如果有你的陪伴，我根本不需要天堂。”
For once, Edward was speechless.
第一次，爱德华说不出话来了。
“You’d move in with a house full of vampires?”
“你要搬进一个都是吸血鬼的房子吗？”
“No. You don’t.”
“不，你不是的”
He glowered at me and started to speak, but I cut him off.
他愤怒的瞪着我，张开嘴准备说什么，但被我打断了。
He got up slowly, and came to put his hands on either side of my face as he stared into my eyes. “Forever,” he vowed, still a little staggered.
他慢慢的站起来，一只手拂过我的脸颊，深情的望着我的眼睛。“直到永远”在些许震惊的见证下，他向我盟誓。
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