3.A Walk in Amnesia
3.失忆症之旅
That morning my wife and I said our usual goodbyes.
那天早上，我和妻子像往常一样道别。
She left her second cup of tea, and she followed me to the front door.
她放下喝了一半的第二杯茶，跟着我走到前门。
She did this every day.
她每天都这样做。
She took from my coat a hair which was not there, and she told me to be careful.
她从我外套上拈去一根并不存在的头发，然后叮嘱我要小心。
She always did this.
她总是这样。
I closed the door, and she went back to her tea.
我关上门，她便回去继续喝茶。
I am a lawyer and I work very hard.
我是一名律师，工作非常辛苦。
My friend, Doctor Volney, told me not to work so hard.
我的朋友沃尔尼医生劝我不要工作得太拼命。
‘You’ll be ill,’ he said.
“你会累病的，”他说。
‘A lot of people who work too hard get very tired, and suddenly they forget who they are. They can’t remember anything. It’s called amnesia. You need a change and a rest.’
“很多过度劳累的人会感到极度疲惫，然后突然忘记自己是谁，什么都记不起来。这叫失忆症。你需要换个环境，好好休息一下。”
‘But I do rest,’ I replied.
“但我确实有休息啊，”我回答道。
‘On Thursday nights my wife and I play a game of cards, and on Sundays she reads me her weekly letter from her mother.’
“周四晚上我和妻子会打打牌，周日她还会念她母亲每周寄来的信给我听。”
That morning, when I was walking to work, I thought about Doctor Volney’s words.
那天早上，在上班的路上，我想起了沃尔尼医生的话。
I was feeling very well, and pleased with life.
我当时感觉身体很好，对生活也很满足。
When I woke up, I was on a train and feeling very uncomfortable after a long sleep.
当我醒来时，发现自己正坐在一列火车上，睡了很久之后感觉浑身不舒服。
I sat back in my seat and I tried to think.
我靠回座位，努力回想。
After a long time, I said to myself, ‘I must have a name!’
过了许久，我对自己说：“我一定有个名字！”
I looked in my pockets. No letter. No papers. Nothing with my name on.
我翻遍了口袋，没有信件，没有文件，没有任何写着我名字的东西。
But I found three thousand dollars. ‘I must be someone,’ I thought.
但我发现了三千美元。“我肯定是个有身份的人，”我想。
The train was crowded with men who were all very friendly.
车厢里挤满了人，他们都非常友善。
One of them came and sat next to me.
其中一个人走过来坐在我旁边。
‘Hi! My name’s R. P. Bolder — Bolder and Son, from Missouri. You’re going to the meeting in New York, of course? What’s your name?’
“嗨！我叫R.P.博尔德——来自密苏里州的‘博尔德父子商行’。你也是去纽约开会的吧？请问贵姓？”
I had to reply to him, so I said quickly, ‘Edward Pinkhammer from Cornopolis, Kansas.’
我必须回应他，于是脱口而出：“爱德华·平克哈默，来自堪萨斯州的科诺波利斯。”
He was reading a newspaper, but every few minutes he looked up from it, to talk to me.
他看着报纸，但每隔几分钟就抬起头来跟我搭话。
I understood from his conversation that he was a druggist, and he thought that I was a druggist, too.
从交谈中我得知他是个药剂师，而且他也以为我是个药剂师。
‘Are all these men druggists?’ I asked.
“这些人都是药剂师吗？”我问。
‘Yes, they are,’ he answered. ‘Like us, they’re all going to the yearly meeting in New York.’
“是的，”他答道，“和我们一样，他们都是去参加纽约的年度大会的。”
After a time, he held out his newspaper to me. ‘Look at that,’ he said.
过了一会儿，他把报纸递给我。“你看这个，”他说。
‘Here’s another of those men who run away and then say that they have forgotten who they are. A man gets tired of his business and his family, and he wants to have a good time. He goes away somewhere and when they find him, he says that he doesn’t know who he is, and that he can’t remember anything.’
“这又是一个逃跑后声称失忆的人。一个人厌倦了工作和家庭，想寻欢作乐，就跑到别处去。等被人找到时，他就说自己不知道是谁，什么都记不起来了。”
I took the paper and read this:
我接过报纸，读到了这段内容：
Denver, June 12th
丹佛，6月12日
Elwyn C. Bellford, an important lawyer in the town, left home three days ago and has not come back.
本市著名律师埃尔温·C·贝尔福德三天前离家出走，至今未归。
Just before he left, he took out a lot of money from his bank.
就在离开前，他从银行取了一大笔钱。
Nobody has seen him since that day.
自那天起便无人见过他。
He is a quiet man who enjoys his work and is happily married.
他性格沉静，热爱工作，婚姻幸福。
But Mr Bellford works very hard, and it is possible that he has amnesia.
但贝尔福德先生工作过于劳累，有可能患上了失忆症。
‘But sometimes people do forget who they are, Mr Bolder,’ I said.
“但有时候人们确实会忘记自己是谁，博尔德先生，”我说。
‘Oh, come on!’ Mr Bolder answered. ‘It’s not true, you know! These men just want something more exciting in their lives—another woman, perhaps. Something different.’
“得了吧！”博尔德先生答道，“那不是真的！这些人只是想让生活更刺激些——也许是想要另一个女人，或者一些不一样的东西。”
We arrived in New York at about ten o’clock at night.
我们在晚上十点左右抵达了纽约。
I took a taxi to a hotel, and I wrote the name, ‘Edward Pinkhammer’, in the hotel book.
我打车去了一家旅馆，在登记簿上写下了“爱德华·平克哈默”这个名字。
Suddenly I felt wild and happy—I was free. A man without a name can do anything.
突然间我感到一种狂野的快乐——我自由了。一个没有名字的人可以随心所欲。
The young man behind the desk at the hotel looked at me a little strangely. I had no suitcase.
旅馆前台的年轻人有些奇怪地看着我，因为我没有带行李箱。
‘I’m here for the Druggists’ Meeting,’ I said. ‘My suitcase is lost.’ I took out some money and gave it to him.
“我是来参加药剂师大会的，”我说，“我的行李丢了。”我掏出一些钱递给他。
The next day I bought a suitcase and some clothes and I began to live the life of Edward Pinkhammer.
第二天，我买了一个行李箱和一些衣服，开始过起了爱德华·平克哈默的生活。
I didn’t try to remember who or what I was.
我不再试图回忆自己究竟是谁或是什么人。
The next few days in Manhattan were wonderful—the theatres, the gardens, the music, the restaurants, the night life, the beautiful girls.
接下来的几天在曼哈顿过得美妙极了——剧院、花园、音乐、餐厅、夜生活，还有美丽的姑娘们。
And during this time I learned something very important—if you want to be happy, you must be free.
在这段时间里，我领悟到了一个非常重要的道理：如果你想快乐，就必须获得自由。
Sometimes I went to quiet, expensive restaurants with soft music.
有时我会去那些安静、昂贵且播放着轻柔音乐的餐厅。
Sometimes I went on the river in boats full of noisy young men and their girlfriends.
有时我会乘船游河，船上满是喧闹的年轻人和他们的女友。
And then there was Broadway, with its theatres and bright lights.
还有百老汇，那里有众多的剧院和璀璨的灯光。
One afternoon I was going back into my hotel when a fat man came and stood in front of me.
一天下午，当我回到旅馆时，一个胖男人走过来挡在我面前。
‘Hello, Bellford!’ he cried loudly. ‘What are you doing in New York? Is Mrs B. with you?’
“你好啊，贝尔福德！”他大声喊道，“你怎么会在纽约？B夫人和你在一起吗？”
‘I’m sorry, but you’re making a mistake, sir,’ I said coldly. ‘My name is Pinkhammer. Please excuse me.’
“对不起，先生，你认错人了，”我冷冷地说，“我叫平克哈默。请让一下。”
The man moved away, in surprise, and I walked over to the desk. Behind me, the man said something about a telephone.
那人惊讶地让开了，我走向前台。身后，那人嘟囔着什么关于电话的事。
‘Give me my bill,’ I said to the man behind the desk, ‘and bring down my suitcase in half an hour.’
“给我结账，”我对前台说，“半小时后把我的行李拿下来。”
That afternoon I moved to a quiet little hotel on Fifth Avenue.
那天下午，我搬到了第五大道上一家安静的小旅馆。
One afternoon, in one of my favourite restaurants on Broadway, I was going to my table when somebody pulled my arm.
又一天下午，在百老汇我最喜爱的一家餐厅里，我正走向自己的桌子，突然有人拉住了我的胳膊。
‘Mr Bellford,’ a sweet voice cried.
“贝尔福德先生，”一个甜美的声音喊道。
I turned quickly and saw a woman who was sitting alone. She was about thirty and she had very beautiful eyes.
我迅速转过身，看到一位独坐的女士。她大约三十岁，眼睛非常漂亮。
‘How can you walk past me like that?’ she said. ‘Didn’t you know me?’
“你怎么能就这样和我擦肩而过？”她说，“难道你不认识我了？”
I sat down at her table. Her hair was a beautiful redgold colour.
我在她的桌旁坐下。她的头发是美丽的红金色。
‘Are you sure you know me?’ I asked.
“你确定认识我吗？”我问。
‘No.’ She smiled. ‘I never really knew you.’
“不，”她微笑着说，“我其实从未真正了解过你。”
‘Well, my name is Edward Pinkhammer,’ I said, ‘and I’m from Kansas.’
“好吧，我叫爱德华·平克哈默，”我说，“来自堪萨斯州。”
‘So, you haven’t brought Mrs Bellford with you, then,’ she said, and she laughed. ‘You haven’t changed much in fifteen years, Elwyn.’
“这么说，你没带贝尔福德夫人一起来咯，”她笑着说，“十五年过去了，你还是没怎么变，埃尔温。”
Her wonderful eyes looked carefully at my face.
她那迷人的眼睛仔细端详着我的脸。
‘No,’ she said quietly, ‘you haven’t forgotten. I told you that you could never forget.’
“不，”她轻声说，“你没有忘记。我说过你永远都不会忘的。”
‘I’m sorry,’ I answered, ‘but that’s the trouble. I have forgotten. I’ve forgotten everything.’
“很抱歉，”我答道，“但问题就在这儿。我已经忘了，把一切都忘了。”
She laughed. ‘Did you know that I married six months after you did? It was in all the newspapers.’
她笑了。“你知道我在你结婚六个月后也结婚了吗？当时报纸上都有报道。”
She was silent for a minute. Then she looked up at me again.
她沉默了一会儿，然后再次抬头看着我。
‘Tell me one thing, Elwyn,’ she said softly. ‘Since that night fifteen years ago, can you touch, smell, or look at white roses—and not think of me?’
“告诉我一件事，埃尔温，”她柔声说，“自从十五年前的那个夜晚以来，当你触摸、闻到或看到白玫瑰时，能不想起我吗？”
‘I can only say that I don’t remember any of this,’ I said carefully. ‘I’m very sorry.’ I tried to look away from her.
“我只能说我完全不记得这些了，”我谨慎地说，“非常抱歉。”我试着把目光移开。
She smiled and stood up to leave. Then she held out her hand to me, and I took it for a second.
她微笑着站起身准备离开，然后向我伸出手，我握了片刻。
‘Oh yes, you remember,’ she said, with a sweet, unhappy smile.
“噢，你记得的，”她带着甜蜜而忧伤的微笑说道。
‘Goodbye, Elwyn Bellford.’
“再见，埃尔温·贝尔福德。”
That night I went to the theatre and when I returned to my hotel, a quiet man in dark clothes was waiting for me.
那天晚上我去看了戏，回到旅馆时，一个穿着深色衣服的安静男子正在等我。
‘Mr Pinkhammer,’ he said, ‘can I speak with you for a minute? There’s a room here.’
“平克哈默先生，”他说，“能占用您一分钟时间吗？这边有个房间。”
I followed him into a small room. A man and a woman were there.
我跟着他走进一个小房间。里面有一男一女。
The woman was still beautiful, but her face was unhappy and tired. I liked everything about her.
那位女士依然美丽，但面容憔悴忧郁。我对她的一切都很喜欢。
The man, who was about forty, came to meet me.
那个约莫四十岁的男人迎上前来。
‘Bellford,’ he said, ‘I’m happy to see you again. I told you that you were working too hard. Now you can come home with us. You’ll soon be all right.’
“贝尔福德，”他说，“很高兴再见到你。我就说你工作太拼了。现在你可以跟我们一起回家了，很快就会好起来的。”
‘My name’, I said, ‘is Edward Pinkhammer. I’ve never seen you before in my life.’
“我的名字，”我说，“是爱德华·平克哈默。我这辈子从没见过你们。”
The woman cried out, ‘Oh, Elwyn! Elwyn! I’m your wife!’ She put her arms round me, but I pushed them away.
那女人哭喊道：“噢，埃尔温！埃尔温！我是你的妻子啊！”她张开双臂抱住我，但我推开了她。
‘Oh, Doctor Volney! What is the matter with him?’ the woman cried.
“噢，沃尔尼医生！他到底怎么了？”女人哭诉道。
‘Go to your room,’ the doctor said to her. ‘He’ll soon be well again.’
“回你的房间去吧，”医生对她说，“他很快就会好的。”
The woman left, and so did the man in the dark clothes. The man who was a doctor turned to me and said quietly, ‘Listen. Your name is not Edward Pinkhammer.’
女人离开了，穿深色衣服的男人也跟着出去了。身为医生的那个人转向我，低声说：“听着，你的名字不是爱德华·平克哈默。”
‘I know that,’ I replied, ‘but a man must have a name. Why not Pinkhammer?’
“我知道，”我回答，“但人总得有个名字。为什么不能叫平克哈默呢？”
‘Your name’, the doctor said, ‘is Elwyn Bellford. You are one of the best lawyers in Denver—and that woman is your wife.’
“你的名字，”医生说，“是埃尔温·贝尔福德。你是丹佛最优秀的律师之一——而那个女人是你的妻子。”
‘She’s a very fine woman,’ I said, after a minute. ‘I love the colour of her hair.’
“她是位非常好的女士，”过了一会儿我说，“我喜欢她头发的颜色。”
‘She’s a very good wife,’ the doctor replied. ‘When you left two weeks ago, she was very unhappy. Then we had a telephone call from a man who saw you in a hotel here.’
“她是个非常好的妻子，”医生答道，“两周前你离开时，她非常伤心。后来我们接到一个男人的电话，说他在这家旅馆见过你。”
‘I think I remember him,’ I said. ‘He called me “Bellford”. Excuse me, but who are you?’
“我想我记得那个人，”我说，“他叫我‘贝尔福德’。恕我直言，你是谁？”
‘I’m Bobby Volney. I’ve been your friend for twenty years, and your doctor for fifteen years. Elwyn, try to remember.’
“我是鲍比·沃尔尼。我做你的朋友二十年了，做你的医生也有十五年了。埃尔温，试着回忆一下吧。”
‘You say you’re a doctor,’ I said. ‘How can I get better? Does amnesia go slowly or suddenly?’
“你说你是医生，”我说，“那我怎么才能好起来？失忆症是慢慢恢复还是突然恢复的？”
‘Sometimes slowly. Sometimes suddenly.’
“有时慢，有时快。”
‘Will you help me, Doctor Volney?’ I asked.
“你会帮我吗，沃尔尼医生？”我问。
‘Old friend,’ he said, ‘I’ll do everything possible.’
“老朋友，”他说，“我会尽一切可能帮你。”
‘Very well. And if you’re my doctor, you can’t tell anybody what I say.’
“很好。既然你是我的医生，你就不能把我说的话告诉任何人。”
‘Of course not,’ Doctor Volney answered.
“当然不会，”沃尔尼医生回答。
I stood up. There were some white roses on the table. I went over to the table, picked up the roses and threw them far out of the window. Then I sat down again.
我站了起来。桌上放着几朵白玫瑰。我走到桌边，拿起玫瑰远远地扔出了窗外，然后又坐了下来。
‘I think it will be best, Bobby,’ I said, ‘to get better suddenly. I’m a little tired of it all now. Go and bring my wife Marian in now. But, oh, Doctor,’ I said with a happy smile. ‘Oh, my good old friend—it was wonderful!’
“我觉得最好还是突然好起来吧，鲍比，”我说，“我现在有点厌倦这一切了。去把我的妻子玛丽安叫进来吧。但是，噢，医生，”我带着幸福的微笑说道，“噢，我的老朋友——这感觉真是太棒了！”
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