Stacey’s words faded into the gray stillness of the January morning as I turned deaf ears to him and hurried after Lillian Jean.
斯泰西的话语融进了一月晨间的寂静里，我充耳不闻，跑向莉莲。
“Uh… Miz Lillian Jean, wouldja wait up a minute, please!”
“嗯，莉莲小姐…可以等一下我吗？”
“Yeah!” commented Lillian Jean suspiciously.
“什么？”莉莲有些难以置信。
“Thanks for waiting up,” I said when I caught up with her.
“谢谢你等我。”等我追上她时，我对她说。
“Cassie, you cracked!” cried Stacey. “Cassie, where you… get back here! Cassie!”
“凯西，你疯了吧？”斯泰西冲我叫道，“凯西，你去哪儿——快回来！”
“Well,” I said, walking beside her, “I been thinking ’bout what happened in Strawberry back last month.”
“嗯，我想跟你说说上个月在斯特罗贝里发生的事。”我和她并肩走在路上。
She stared down at me irritably. “What you want!”
她语气很冲：“你到底想干什么？”
Lillian Jean looked at me with astonishment that I could see the matter so clearly. “Well, I’m glad you finally learned the way of things.”
莉莲无比讶异地看着我：“嗯，我倒是很高兴你能明白这些事情。”
“Well, to tell you the truth, I was real upset for a while there. But my papa told me it don’t do no good sitting around being mad. Then I seen how things was. I mean, I should’ve seen it all along. After all, I’m who I am and you’re who you are.”
“跟你说实话吧，我刚开始难过了好一阵子，但我爸爸说，你光坐在那儿什么问题也解决不了。然后我就开始思考这件事情，我的意思是，我不该明白得这么晚的。我是怎样的人，你是怎样的人，我明白了。”
“Oh, I did.” I piped readily. “The way I see it — here, let me take them books for you, Miz Lillian Jean — the way I see it, we all gotta do what we gotta do. And that’s what I’m gonna do from now on. Just what I gotta.”
“哦，当然。”我接过话头，“我明白着呢——我来帮你拿书吧，莉莲小姐。我们就该做我们该做的事情。而这，就是我该做的事情，莉莲小姐。”
“I’m glad you think so… Miz Lillian Jean.”
“我很高兴你这么说…莉莲小姐。”
“Cassie, whatja do that for!” questioned Christopher- John, his round face pained.
“凯西，你到底在干什么？”克里斯托弗脸色很不好。
As I followed, Jeremy touched my arm timidly. “C-Cassie, you didn’t have to do that. That — that ole Lillian Jean, she ain’t worth it.”
我跟在后头，杰里米怯怯地碰了碰我的胳膊：“凯西，你没必要这么做的。那个，那个莉莲，真的不值得你这样。”
“You think so!”
“你真的这么想？”
Stacey stared at me strangely, then turned and said, “We’d better get on to school.”
斯泰西依然用奇怪的眼神看着我，最后还是转过身：“我们赶紧上学去吧。”
I stared at Jeremy, trying to understand him. But he shied away from me and ran down the road after his sister.
我看着杰里米，试图明白他话里的意思。他慌忙跑开，去找他的姐姐了。
I clinched my fists behind me, and narrowed my eyes in the Logan gaze, but managed to hold my tongue.
我的双手在背后紧握成拳，对男孩们怀疑的目光视而不见，决心守口如瓶。
“Good for you, Cassie,” replied Lillian Jean enthusiastically. “God’ll bless you for it.”
“真是了不起，凯西。”莉莲语气轻快，“上帝会保佑你的。”
“Ah, shoot,” laughed T. J. “Ole Cassie jus’ learned she better do what’s good for her if she don’t want no more of Mr. Simms’s back hand.”
“噢，天哪！”提杰大笑着，“你不明白吗？凯西不那么做的话，可能会被西蒙先生报复的。”
When we reached the crossroads. I waved good-bye to Lillian Jean and waited for the others. Before they reached me, Little Man exclaimed. “Owwww. I’m gonna tell Mama! Carrying that ole dumb Lillian Jean’s books!”
当我们走到岔路口，我和莉莲挥别，等着男孩们的到来。他们还没走到岔路口，小家伙就阴阳怪气地说：“我要跟妈妈说，你帮那个臭莉莲拿书！”
“Why, of course!” she exclaimed. “God wants all his children to do what’s right.”
“那当然！”她提高音量，“上帝会保佑所有做出正确选择的人。”
“Ah, man!” cried T. J. “It ain’t none of my business.”
“嘿，兄弟，我才不会多管闲事呢。”提杰辩解道。
“Naw you ain’t,” said Stacey. There was a shocked silence as all heads turned to him. “This here thing’s between Cassie and Lillian Jean and ain’t nobody telling nobody nothin’ ’bout this.” He stared directly at T. J., caught his eye, and repeated, Nobody.
“不准说。”斯泰西命令道，大家都惊讶地望着他，“这是凯西和莉莲之间的事情，谁也不要插手，谁也不要多嘴。”他死死地盯着提杰，重复了一遍，“任何人都不准。”
“Mama gonna whip you good, too.” said prideful Little Man, still fuming as we approached the school. ‘Cause I’m gonna sure tell it.
“妈妈肯定会揍你一顿的，因为我会跟妈妈说。”当我们走到学校，小家伙依然在气头上。
Then, after a moment’s silence, he added, “I got too many worries of my own to worry ’bout Cassie Uncle Tomming Lillian Jean.”
沉默了一会儿，他接着说：“我自己的事情都那么多，哪有什么时间管凯西和莉莲的事。”
My temper almost flew out of my mouth, but I pressed my lips tightly together, forcing it to stay inside.
我的脾气近乎爆发了，只能赶紧捂住自己的嘴巴，强忍着怒火。
“Them final examinations comin’ up in two weeks, man, and ain’t no way I can afford to fail them things again,” T. J. continued.
提杰继续说道：“还有两个星期就要期末考试了，这次我可不能再考不及格了。”
“Shoot, that’s what I thought last year. But your mama makes up the hardest examinations she knows how.” He paused, sighed, and ventured, “Bet though if you kinda asked her ’bout what kind of questions –“
“算了吧，去年你也是这么想的。但你妈妈去年出的考题是最难的。”他顿了顿，叹了口气，“要是你能帮我问问她会出什么样的题目的话…”
“Then you won’t,” said Stacey.
“你不会的。”斯泰西说。
“What’s that?”
“什么办法？”
After Uncle Hammer left on New Year’s Day, Papa and I had gone into the forest, down the cow path, and to the misty hollow where the trees lay fallen. For a while we stood looking again at the destruction, sitting on one of our fallen friends, we talked in quiet, respectful tones, observing the soft mourning of the forest.
哈默大伯在新年那天离开后，我和爸爸一块儿走到森林，走到了雾气氤氲的山谷，那里的树大多被砍倒了。看着这一片被破坏了的森林，我和爸爸呆站了好一会儿，然后坐在一棵被砍倒的树干上。林子里透着莫名的哀伤气息。
When I had explained the whole Strawberry business to Papa, he said slowly, “You know the Bible says you’re s’pose to forgive these things.”
我把在斯特罗贝里发生的事说给了爸爸听。爸爸语气缓缓地说：“《圣经》不是告诉我们，要学会原谅吗？”
“I got a solution,” I said, unable to resist just one bit of friendly advice.
“我有个办法。”我忍不住给提杰提了个建议。
“S’pose to turn the other cheek”
“别人打了你一边脸，你就得把另一边伸过去。”
“Yes sir.”
“是的。”
“T. J., don’t you come talking to me ’bout no more cheating!” cried Stacey angrily. “After all that trouble I got in the last time ‘count of you. You got questions, you ask Mama yourself, but you say one more word to me ’bout them tests, I’m gonna –“
斯泰西生气地大叫：“提杰，别跟我提作弊的事情了！上次你给我惹的麻烦还不够吗？你要是自己有问题，就自己去问我妈妈，但你要是再跟我提一句有关考题的事情——”
Papa rubbed his moustache and looked up at the trees standing like sentinels on the edge of the hollow, listening. “But the way I see it, the Bible didn’t mean for you to be no fool. Now one day, maybe I can forgive John Andersen for what he done to these trees, but I ain’t gonna forget it. I figure forgiving is not letting something nag at you — rotting you out. Now if I hadn’t done what I done, then I couldn’t’ve forgiven myself, and that’s the truth of it.”
爸爸摸了摸他的胡须，抬头看着屹立在山谷中的树木，说道：“但《圣经》并不是叫你做个傻子，或许有一天，我可以原谅那些砍树的人，但我永远不会忘记这件事情。原谅他人可以让你不再困于这些事情，不让你因觉得心累而苦恼。如果你无法原谅别人，就说明你还没能宽恕自己。”
“All right, all right.” T. J. smiled in feigned apology. “It’s just that I’m gonna have to figure out somethin’.”
提杰嬉皮笑脸，满不在乎地道歉：“好吧，好吧，我只是开个玩笑而已嘛！”
“Yessir,” I agreed, waiting.
“是。”我等待着爸爸接下去的话。
Try studying.”
“好好学习。”
“Now this thing between you and Lillian Jean, most folks would think you should go around doing what she tell you… and maybe you should –“
“你和莉莲之间的事情，很多人说，你应该照着她的话去做…或许你应该…”
“Yessir,”
“是的，爸爸。”
I nodded gravely and he looked down at me. “You’re a lot like me, Cassie girl, but you got yourself a bad temper like your Uncle Hammer. That temper can get you in trouble.”
我认真点了点头，爸爸低头看着我：“孩子，你跟我在很多方面很相像，但脾气不好这一点倒是像你大伯。坏脾气会给你带来很多麻烦。”
“Papa!”
“爸爸！”
“Cassie, there’ll be a whole lot of things you ain’t gonna wanna do but you’ll have to do in this life just so you can survive. Now I don’t like the idea of what Charlie Simms did to you no more than your Uncle Hammer, but I had to weigh the hurt of what happened to you to what could’ve happened if I went after him. If I’d’ve gone after Charlie Simms and given him a good thrashing like I felt like doing, the hurt to all of us would’ve been a whole lot more than the hurt you received, so I let it be. I don’t like letting it be, but I can live with that decision.”
“凯西，在这个世界上，有很多你不愿去做的事情，但为了生存，你不得不选择去做。对于西蒙对你做的事情，我和你大伯一样生气，但我必须权衡一下，我去找他算账后会带来的伤害，会不会比你之前所受的伤害更大。如果那造成的伤害更大，那我便会随它去。虽然我做这种妥协也很不乐意，但只有这样，我们才能生存下去。”
“But there are other things, Cassie, that if I’d let be, they’d eat away at me and destroy me in the end. And it’s the same with you, baby. There are things you can’t back down on, things you gotta take a stand on. But it’s up to you to decide what them things are. You have to demand respect in this world, ain’t nobody just gonna hand it to you. How you carry yourself, what you stand for — that’s how you gain respect. But, little one, ain’t nobody’s respect worth more than your own. You understand that!”
“但还有一些事情，凯西，要是我们一味地随它去的话，到最后我们照样会被别人吃定，甚至被毁掉。有些事情你不能退缩，一定要坚持下去。而究竟是哪些事情，这需要你自己去判断。在这个世界上，尊严是要靠自己来争取的，而不是等着别人给你。你的一举一动，决定你是否能获得别人的尊重。但最紧要的一点是，你要先尊重你自己，明白了吗？”
“Don’t know,” said Papa. “But it could be bad.”
“不知道，可能会很糟糕吧。”
“Yessir.”
“明白了，爸爸。”
“Wow, there ain’t no sense in going around being mad. You clear your head so you can think sensibly. Then I want you to think real hard on whether or not Lillian Jean’s worth taking a stand about, but keep in mind that Lillian Jean probably won’t be the last white person to treat you this way.” He turned toward me so that he looked me full in the face, and the seriousness of his eyes startled me. He held my chin up with the wide flat of his hard hand. This here’s an important decision, Cassie, very important — I want you to understand that — but I think you can handle it. Now, you listen to me, and you listen good. This thing. if you make the wrong decision and Charlie Simms gets involved, then I get involved and there’ll be trouble.
“一个人坐在那儿生闷气是没有用的。我希望你能好好想一想，莉莲是否值得你这么做。你知道，她可能不是最后一个这样对你的白人。”爸爸转过身，严肃而正式的眼神吓到了我。他用宽大的手掌托起我的下巴：“凯西，这是很重要的事情，很重要。我希望你能明白我的话，更希望你能自己解决好这件事。现在，你听好，如果你做出了错误的决定，那么西蒙会介入，我也会过问这件事，那就麻烦了。”
I pondered his words, then I promised, “Mr. Simms ain’t never gonna hear’bout it, Papa.”
我思忖着，然后向爸爸承诺：“西蒙先生再也不会听到这类事情了。”
Papa studied me. “I’ll count on that, Cassie girl. I’ll count real hard on that.”
爸爸看着我：“凯西，我相信你。”
“B-big trouble!” I whispered. “Like the trees!”
“麻烦？”我喃喃道，“像这些被砍倒的树一样吗？”
At the end of examination day, I shot out of Miss Crocker’s class and hurried into the yard. I was eager to get to the crossroads to meet Lillian Jean; I had promised myself to first take care of the examination and then…
期末考试结束后，我飞快地冲出教室，急着要赶到岔路口跟莉莲碰面。我答应自己，要等到考试结束后，我才…
For the month of January I was Lillian Jean’s slave and she thoroughly enjoyed it. She even took to waiting for me in the morning with Jeremy so that I could carry her books. When friends of hers walked with us, she bragged about her little colored friend and almost hugged herself with pleasure when I called her “Miz” Lillian Jean. When we were alone, she confided her secrets to me: the boy she had passionately loved for the past year and the things she had done to attract his attention (with no success, I might add); the secrets of the girls she couldn’t stand as well as those she could; and even a tidbit or two about her elder brothers’ romantic adventures. All I had to do to prime the gossip pump was smile nicely and whisper a “Miz Lillian Jean” every now and then. I almost hated to see the source dry up.
整整一个月来，我都充当着莉莲的小跟班。莉莲也乐于如此，甚至还和杰里米一起等我，这样我才能帮她拿书。有时她的朋友也会跟她一块儿走，她便会到处吹嘘我这个黑人朋友。而我叫她“莉莲小姐”时，她更是心花怒放。当我们俩独处时，她还会跟我分享她的小秘密：她一直喜欢着一个男孩，做了很多事情来吸引他的注意（大多都以失败告终）；她还跟我说了那些她喜欢的和讨厌的女生们，甚至还有她哥哥的罗曼史。而我只要微微笑着，时不时说两句“莉莲小姐”就行了。
“Little Man! Claude! Christopher-John! Come on, y’all!” I cried. “There’s Stacey!”
“小家伙、克劳德、克里斯托弗，快走啊！”我大声呼唤着他们，“斯泰西还在等我们呢！”
The four of us dashed across the yard trailing Stacey and T. J. to the road. When we caught up with them, it was obvious that the jovial mask T. J. always wore had been stripped away.
我们四个人赶到岔路口，发现一向嬉皮笑脸的提杰，竟然一脸愁容。
“Well, whatja have them for?”
“那也不能这样。”
“She did it on purpose!” T. J. accused, a nasty scowl twisting his face.
“她一定是故意的！”提杰一脸阴沉。
“She could’ve give me a break. Warn’t nothin’ but a couple bits of ole paper. Didn’t need ’em nohow.”
“她应该放我一马的！我已经复读一年了。”
“Man, you was cheating!” Stacey pointed out. “What you ‘spect for her to do!”
“你作弊了！”斯泰西一针见血，“你还有脸怪别人？”
“Ah, man, leave me be! All y’all Logans think y’all so doggone much with y’all’s new coats and books and shiny new Packards!” He swirled around, glaring down at Christopher-John, Little Man, and me. “I’m sick of all y’all. Your mama and your papa, too!” Then he turned and fled angrily up the road.
“别跟我扯这些大道理！想到你们家的新外套、新书，还有那辆轿车，我就恶心！”他扫了我们一眼，“我讨厌你们！还有你们的爸爸妈妈！”然后他转身生气地跑了。
“T. J.! Hey, man, where you going!” Stacey yelled after him. T. J. did not answer. The road swelled into a small hill and he disappeared on the other side of it. When we reached the crossroads and saw no sign of him on the southern road leading home, Stacey asked Claude, “Where he go?”
“提杰，你去哪？”斯泰西追上他问道，提杰没回答。这条路下去，是个小山坡，提杰很快就不见了踪影。当我们走到岔路口时，并没有在通往提杰家的路上看到他。斯泰西问克劳德：“他能去哪儿呢？”
Claude looked shame-faced and rubbed one badly worn shoe against the other. “Down to that ole store, I reckon.”
克劳德搓着他破破烂烂的鞋子，脸色羞怯：“大概是去华莱士商店了吧。”
“Y’all go on,” I said. “I gotta wait for Lillian Jean.”
我说：“你们先走，我要等莉莲。”
“Cassie –“
“凯西——”
When Lillian Jean appeared, I sighed thankfully that only Jeremy was with her; it could be today for sure. Jeremy, who seemed to be as disappointed in me as Little Man, hurried on to catch Stacey. That was fine, too; I knew he would. I took Lillian Jean’s books, and as we sauntered down the road, I only half listened to her; I was sweeping the road, looking for the deep wooded trail I had selected earlier in the week. When I saw it, I interrupted Lillian Jean apologetically. “Scuse me, Miz Lillian Jean, but I got a real nice surprise for you… found it just the other day down in the woods.”
当莉莲出现时，只有杰里米跟着她，我有些庆幸地松了口气。杰里米对我似乎很失望，便加快脚步去追赶斯泰西他们了。这很好。我接过莉莲的书，两人并肩走在路上。我心不在焉地听她讲话，眼睛却在搜寻着我一个星期前找好的一条林间小径。等一找到那条路，我立刻打断她的话：“抱歉，莉莲小姐，我想给你一个惊喜…这是我前几天在树林里找到的。”
Stacey sighed. “Come on then, we’d better get on home. He’ll be all right by tomorrow.”
斯泰西叹了口气：“随他去吧。我们先回去吧，他明天自然就好了。”
“I’ll catch up with ya,” I said before Stacey could lecture me. “Here, take my books, will ya!” He looked at me as if he should say something else, but deciding not to, he pushed the younger boys on and followed them.
斯泰西还没来得及骂我，我赶紧接过话头：“我会赶上你们的。这些东西先帮我拿回去，好吗？”斯泰西看着我，似乎有什么话想说，可最后还是把话咽了下去。他催促弟弟们往前走，自己跟在后头。
“Right here,” I said, smashing Lillian Jean’s books on the ground.
“就是这里。”说完，我把莉莲的书摔在地上。
We entered a small dark clearing with hanging forest vines, totally hidden from the road.
我们走进一块阴暗的空地，周围藤蔓丛生，很难被找到。
“Just a bit further… up ahead there. Ah, here it is.”
“再走过去一点…啊，到了。”
I stepped into the dry gully and scrambled onto the bank. Lillian Jean hung back. “It’s all right,” I assured her, “It ain’t far. You just gotta see it, Miz Lillian Jean.”
我们跳过干涸的溪谷，爬上河岸。莉莲有些不安，想要往回走。“没事。”我让她放宽心，“莉莲小姐，不远了，很快我们就到了。”
“This what you brought me all the way down here for! Well, you just best get untired and pick ’em up again.” Then, expecting that her will would be done with no more than that from her, she turned to leave the glade.
“这就是你带我来这里的目的！好吧，你最好把它们解开，再把它们捡起来。”然后，她以为只要她再多给她一点钱，她就可以了结了，于是转身离开了那片空地。
“Come on. I’ll show you.”
“走吧，我带你去。”
“Why, what you do that for?” Lillian Jean asked, more startled than angry.
“你想干吗？”她惊讶甚于愤怒。
“Well! Where’s the surprise!”
“这里？惊喜在哪里？”
That did it. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she crossed the gully and hopped onto the bank. Following me up the over- grown trail into the deep forest, she asked, “You sure this is the way, little Cassie!”
果然，她信了。她跟着我穿过杂草丛生的小径，来到了树林深处：“凯西，你确定是这条路吗？”
“For me!” questioned Lillian Jean, “Ah, you is a sweet thing, Cassie. Where you say it is!”
“给我的？”莉莲有些开心，“凯西，你真好，你说的那个地方在哪儿呢？”
“I got tired of carrying ’em,” I said.
“我累了。”
“Make me.” I said quietly.
“语气礼貌点。”我平静地说。
“What!” The shock on her face was almost comical.
“什么？”她脸上满是惊愕。
I flailed into her, tackling her with such force that we both fell. After the first shock of my actually laying hands on her, she fought as best she could, but she was no match for me. I was calm and knew just where to strike. I punched her in the stomach and buttocks, and twisted her hair, but not once did I touch her face; she, expending her energy in angry, nasty name-calling, clawed at mine, managing to scratch twice. She tried to pull my hair but couldn’t, for I had purposely asked Big Ma to braid it into flat braids against my head.
我冲向她，挥舞着双手朝着她猛打一通。由于用力太猛，我们俩都摔在地上。莉莲使出浑身解数，但不是我的对手。我保持清醒，一拳拳打在她的肚子和臀部上，揪着她的头发。而莉莲胡乱大叫着，冲我张牙舞爪，准备攻击我。她本想抓住我的头发，不过我的头发被奶奶编成紧贴着头皮的辫子，她没有得逞。
Her face paled. Then, red with anger, she stepped daintily across the clearing and struck me hard across the face. For the record, she had hit me first; I didn’t plan on her hitting me again.
她的脸变得刷白，随即又因愤怒而涨得通红。她上前一步，甩了我一巴掌。我没有料到会被她打。
“Said make me.”
“说‘请帮我拿’。”
When I had pinned Lillian Jean securely beneath me, I yanked unmercifully on her long, loose hair and demanded an apology for all the names she had called me, and for the incident in Strawberry. At first she tried to be cute — “Ain’t gonna ‘pologize to no nigger!” she sassed,
当我成功制服了莉莲后，我抓着她又长又松的头发，逼她为在斯特罗贝里发生的事情向我道歉。刚开始她很没礼貌地说：“我才不向黑鬼道歉呢！”
“You wanna be bald, girl?”
“你想变成秃头吗？”
And she apologized. For herself and for her father. For her brothers and her mother. For Strawberry and Mississippi, and by the time I finished jerking at her head, I think she would have apologized for the world being round had I demanded it. But when I let her go and she had sped safely to the other side of the clearing with the trail in front of her, she threatened to tell her father.
她只好道歉了，为她，还有她爸爸，还有她的兄弟们，还有她妈妈，以及在斯特罗贝里发生的一切。我松了手，她很快跑到空地另一头，拿出她爸爸来威胁我。
“Cassie! You wouldn’t do that. Not after I trusted you –“
“凯西，你不能这样做，我还那么信任你呢——”
“You mutter one word of this to anybody, Lillian Jean,” I said, attempting to narrow my eyes like Papa’s, “just one person and everybody at Jefferson Davis is gonna know who you crazy ’bout and all your other business… and you know I know. Besides, if anybody ever did find out ’bout this fight, you’d be laughed clear up to Jackson. You here going on thirteen, getting beat up by a nine-year-old.”
“如果你把今天发生的事情透露出去一个字，”我像爸爸一样眯起眼睛，“那么杰斐逊大卫学校里的每一个人都会知道你疯狂迷恋的是谁，还有你其他的秘密…那些你知我知的事情。还有，要是有人知道了打架的事情，你也会被很多人嘲笑，一个快十三岁的人，竟然被一个九岁的人打败。”
“You do that, Lillian Jean. You just do that and I’m gonna make sure all your fancy friends know how you keeps a secret. Bet you won’t be learning no more secrets after that.”
“你要是敢这样做，莉莲，我就把你的秘密都透露出去，让你的朋友都知道。”
I stared at her astonished. Then I turned and left the forest, not wanting to believe that Lillian Jean didn’t even realize it had all been just a game.
我看着她，然后头也不回地往前走。我不相信她不明白，这是游戏规则。
I was starting up the trail, feeling good about myself, when Lillian Jean asked, bewildered, “But, Cassie, why, You was such a nice little girl…”
踏上树林小径，我的心情舒坦多了。莉莲很是困惑：“凯西，你为什么要这么对我呢？”
“Yes’m,” I said, not bothering to add that she repeated herself so much that all a body had to do was listen to the first few minutes of her lesson to be free to daydream to her heart’s content.
“是。”老实说，克洛克小姐上课总是重复同样的话，一般听开头几分钟就行了，剩下的时间大可拿来做白日梦。
“That’s the third time I’ve caught you daydreaming this morning. Just because you managed to come in first on the examinations last week doesn’t mean a thing this week. We’re in a new quarter and everyone’s slate is clean. You’ll make no A’s by daydreaming. You understand that!”
“这是你今天早上第三次被我抓到你在做白日梦了。虽然上个星期你考了全班第一，但不代表你这个星期也是。这是新的星期，每个人的成绩都要重新开始计算。你成天做白日梦，是拿不到好成绩的，明白了吗？”
“Cassie Logan!”
“凯西·洛根！”
“But –“
“但是——”
“Yes’m, Miz Crocker!”
“是，克洛克小姐。”
“I think you’d just better sit in the back where you’re not so comfortable,” she said. “Then maybe you’ll pay more attention.”
“我看你最好还是坐到后面去，或许你会用心一点。”
Miss Crocker raised her hand, indicating that she did not want to hear another word, and banished me to the very last row in front of the window. I slid onto the cold seat after its former occupant had eagerly left it for my warm quarters by the stove.
克洛克小姐抬起手，表示不想再听到我的任何辩解。她让我坐到最后一排靠窗的位置上。我坐到冰冷的座椅上，原来位置的主人迫不及待地奔向我那个靠近火炉的温暖座位。
The man was Kaleb Wallace.
那个人是华莱士。
As soon as Miss Crocker turned away, I mum- bled a few indignant phrases, then hugged my Christmas sweater to me. I tried to pay attention to Miss Crocker but the cold creeping under the windowsill made it impossible. Unable to bear the draft, I decided to line the sill with paper from my notebook. I ripped out the paper, then turned to the window. As I did, a man passed under it and disappeared.
等克洛克小姐走远了，我嘟囔几句，拿出圣诞节收到的那件毛衣披在身上。我很想认真听讲，但冷风“呼呼”地吹着，使我无法集中精力。我决定用纸堵住窗户的缝隙。当我撕下纸条，转向窗户时，看到一个身影走过，消失在我的视野中。
As soon as I had escaped Miss Crocker, I dashed to the front of the building. Kaleb Wallace was standing in front of the seventh-grade-class building talking to Mr. Wellever and two white men whom I couldn’t make out from where I stood.
我一逃出教室，就看到华莱士站在七年级的教室前，跟威尔校长，还有两个看不清是谁的白人说话。
I raised my hand. “Uh. Miz Crocker, may I be excused please, ma’am! I gotta… well, you know…”
我举起手示意克洛克小姐：“克洛克小姐，不好意思，我肚子有点不太舒服…”
When the men entered the building, I turned and sped to the rear and carefully climbed onto the woodpile stacked behind it. I peeked cautiously through a broken window into Mama’s classroom. The men were just entering, Kaleb Wallace first, followed by a man I didn’t know and Mr. Harlan Granger,
当他们走进教室，我便转身跑到教室外头，躲在木柴堆里。透过一块破了洞的窗玻璃，我往里看。走进教室里的有三个人，一个是华莱士，跟在他后面的那个我不知道是谁，还有一个是格兰杰先生。
Mama seemed startled to see the men, but when Mr. Granger said, “Been hearing ’bout your teaching, Mary, so as members of the school board we thought we’d come by and learn something.” she merely nodded and went on with her lesson. Mr. Wellever left the room, returning shortly with three folding chairs for the visitors; he himself remained standing.
妈妈看到他们似乎很讶异。格兰杰先生说：“玛丽，听说你教得不错，所以校董事会的几位委员过来看看。”妈妈轻轻点了点头，继续上课。威尔先生拿了三把折叠椅让他们坐下，而自己却站在一旁。
Mama was in the middle of history and I knew that was bad. I could tell Stacey knew it too; he sat tense near the back of the room, his lips very tight, his eyes on the men. But Mama did not flinch: she always started her history class the first thing in the morning when the students were most alert, and I knew that the hour was not yet up. To make matters worse, her lesson for the day was slavery. She spoke on the cruelty of it; of the rich economic cycle it generated as slaves produced the raw products for the factories of the North and Europe; how the country profited and grew from the free labor of a people still not free.
妈妈这节课讲的是历史，我知道这很不妙。我想斯泰西也一样清楚：他坐在教室后头，紧抿嘴巴，眼睛盯着那些人看。妈妈却不为所动，她这节课讲的是奴隶制度。她讲到了奴隶制度的残酷，讲到了那些奴隶辛苦工作获得的原料，供给北方以及欧洲各地，形成了经济链的重要一环。妈妈还谈到了国家是如何利用与压榨奴隶来获得经济强盛的。
Before she had finished, Mr. Granger picked up a student’s book, flipped it open to the pasted-over front cover, and pursed his lips. “Thought these books belonged to the county.” he said, interrupting her.
妈妈还没讲完，格兰杰先生就打开了一名学生的课本：“这些课本是属于市政府的。”
Mr. Granger turned the pages, stopped, and read something. “I don’t see all them things you’re teaching in here.”
格兰杰先生又翻了翻书，问道：“你讲的那些东西怎么跟课本不一样？”
Mama glanced over at him, but did not reply.
妈妈看了他一眼，没说话。
“Well, if it ain’t in here, then you got no right teaching it. This book’s approved by the Board of Education and you’re expected to teach what’s in it.”
“既然课本上没有，你就没有权利教课本之外的东西。这本课本是经过教育部核准的，你应该照着课本讲才对。”
“I can’t do that.”
“我做不到。”
Mama remained silent, and Mr. Wellever gave her no support.
妈妈沉默着，威尔校长也没有给她任何支持。
“And why not!”
“为什么？”
Mr. Granger stood. He laid the book back on the student’s desk and headed for the door. The other board member and Kaleb Wallace followed. At the door Mr. Granger stopped and pointed at Mama. “You must be some kind of smart, Mary, to know more than the fellow who wrote that book. Smarter than the school board, too. I reckon.”
格兰杰先生站了一会儿，然后把书放下，走向了门外，其他人跟在后面。走到门口，格兰杰先生停了下来，指着妈妈说：“你一定很聪明，比写这本书的人，比校董事会的人，还要聪明，竟然知道我们不知道的事情。”
“That’s because they’re not in there.” Mama said.
“因为我讲的东西并不在课本上。”
“In fact.” Mr. Granger continued, putting on his hat, “you so smart I expect you’d best just forget about teaching altogether… then that away you’ll have plenty of time to write your own book.” With that he turned his back on her, glanced at Mr. Wellever to make sure his meaning was clear, and left with the others behind him.
格兰杰先生戴上帽子，继续说道：“既然你这么聪明，还是不要来教书好了…好好在家里写你的书去吧！”然后他转过身，瞥了威尔校长一眼，好让他明白意思，然后和其他人一道离开了。
Mama, her back straight and her eyes fixed on the men, answered, “Because ail that’s in that book isn’t true.”
妈妈直直地盯着那些人：“因为上面写的都不真实。”
“You all know!” she asked. We nodded as she slowly descended the stairs. Stacey took one handle of her heavy black satchel and I took the other. Christopher-John and Little Man each took one of her hands, and we started across the lawn.
“你们都知道了？”我们轻轻点了点头。妈妈缓缓走下楼梯，斯泰西帮忙拿着那个沉重的公事包，我拿着其他的东西，小家伙和克里斯托弗牵着妈妈的手，我们一起走过草地。
We waited for Mama after school was out. Stacey had sent T. J. and Claude on, and the four of us, silent and patient, were sitting on the steps when Mama emerged. She smiled down at us, seemingly not surprised that we were there.
放学后，斯泰西让克劳德和提杰先走，我们四个坐在楼梯上安安静静地等着妈妈出现。妈妈出现在走廊时，脸上挂着微笑，似乎知道我们在等着她。
“M-Mama,” said Christopher-John when we reached the road, “can’t you ever teach no more?”
当我们走到马路上时，克里斯托弗小心地问道：“妈妈，你再也不教书了吗？”
“But how’s come, Mama!” demanded Little Man. “How’s come?”
“为什么呢？”小家伙不能理解，“妈妈，为什么会这样呢？”
I looked up at her, but I couldn’t speak. I had never really thought much about Mama’s teaching before; that was just a part of her being Mama. But now that she could not teach, I felt resentful and angry, and I hated Mr. Granger,
我抬头看着妈妈，一言不发。我以前从来没有认真想过妈妈教书这件事情，似乎教书已经成为她生命里的一部分了。可是现在想到妈妈不能教书，我的心情就失落而愤怒，我真讨厌格兰杰先生！
Mama did not answer immediately. When she did, her voice was muffled. “Somewhere else maybe, but not here — at least not for a while.”
妈妈也不是很确定：“其他地方或许还可以吧，但这里是不行了，至少目前是不可能了。”
Mama bit into her lower lip and gazed at the road. “Because, baby,” she said finally, “I taught things some folks just didn’t want to hear.”
妈妈咬了咬下唇，凝视着路面：“孩子，因为我教的东西，是有些人不想听到的。”
Papa gently pushed the stray hair back over her ear. “We’ll get by…, Plant more cotton maybe. But we’ll get by.” There was quiet reassurance in his voice.
爸爸温柔地将妈妈的头发拨到耳后：“或许，我们可以，我们可以多种一些棉花。放心，我们会渡过难关的。”他的语气十分坚定。
When we reached home, Papa and Mr. Morrison were both in the kitchen with Big Ma drinking coffee. As we entered, Papa searched our faces. His eyes settled on Mama; the pain was in her face, “What’s wrong!” he asked.
我们到家后，爸爸、莫里森先生正在厨房里和奶奶一块儿喝咖啡。当我们走进房间，爸爸仔细打量着我们的脸，他的目光在妈妈的脸上停住了，他发现了妈妈痛苦的神色，“怎么了？”爸爸问。
Mama sat down beside him. She pushed back a strand of hair that had worked its way free of the chignon, but it fell back into her face again and she left it there. “I got fired.”
妈妈在爸爸身旁坐下，把松掉的一缕头发拨到耳后，那缕头发又落到了她脸上，她不再理会，说道：“我被开除了。”
Mama nodded and stood.
妈妈点了点头，站了起来。
“Where you goin’, child?” Big Ma asked.
“孩子，你去哪儿？”奶奶问道。
Papa reached out and touched Mama. She said, “Harlan Granger came to the school with Kaleb Wallace and one of the school-board members. Somebody had told them about those books I’d pasted over… but that was only an excuse. They’re just getting at us any way they can because of shop ping in Vicksburg.” Her voice cracked, “What’ll we do, David! We needed that job.”
爸爸握住妈妈的手，妈妈接着说：“格兰杰和华莱士以及校董事会的人今天到学校来，有人跟他们说了我贴过那些课本…但这只是借口，他们只是想打击我们在维京伯格购物的事。”妈妈的声音发着抖：“我们该怎么办，大卫？我们需要这份工作。”
Big Ma put down her cup weakly without a word.
奶奶无力地放下杯子，没说话。
“Outside. I want to walk for a bit.”
“我想去外面散散步。”
Mr. Morrison said, “You know with you here, Mr. Logan, you got no need of me. Maybe there’s work to be had around here… Maybe I could get something… help you out.”
莫里森先生说：“洛根先生，我在这儿也帮不上什么忙，或许，我可以在附近找份工作，这样，或许我还能…帮上点什么…”
As we watched her slowly cross the backyard to the barren garden and head toward the south pasture.
我们看着妈妈慢慢走过后院，走到荒芜的花园，然后向南边的草地走去。
Christopher-John, Little Man, and I turned to follow her, but Papa called us back. “Leave your mama be,” he said.
小家伙、克里斯托弗和我也想跟过去，爸爸制止了我们：“让妈妈一个人静一静。”
Mr. Morrison said softly, “I got me a nice house to live in, the best cooking a man could want, and for the first time in a long time I got me a family. That’s right good pay, I’d say.”
莫里森先生轻声说：“我住在一栋不错的房子里，结识了厨艺极好的太太，这是这么久以来我第一次有家的感觉。这就是你给我的最好的回报了。”
“Papa,” rasped Christopher-John, moving close to him, “M-Mama gonna be all right?”
“爸爸，”克里斯托弗靠近他说，“妈妈没事吧？”
Papa nodded. “You’re a good man, Mr. Morrison, and I thank you for the offer, but I’ll be leaving in a few weeks and I’d rather you was here.” His eyes focused on Mama again, a tiny figure in the distance now.
爸爸点点头：“你是个好人，莫里森，我很感谢你的好意，但几个星期后我要离开一阵子，我希望你能留在这里。”爸爸的目光仍停留在远处妈妈瘦小的身影上。
Papa stared across at Mr. Morrison. “There’s no call for you to do that.” he said. “I’m not paying you anything as it.”
爸爸看着莫里森先生：“你没有这个必要，我也无以回报。”
Papa turned and, putting his arms around Christopher-John, drew him even nearer. “Son, your mama… she’s born to teaching like the sun is born to shine. And it’s gonna be hard on her not teaching anymore. It’s gonna be real hard ’cause ever since she was a wee bitty girl down in the Delta she wanted to be a teacher.”
爸爸转过身，将克里斯托弗拉近：“孩子啊，你妈妈…生来就是要教书的啊，就好像太阳注定要照耀大地一样。所以，不能教书对她来说是莫大的打击。在她很小的时候，她就立志要当一个教师。”
“And Grandpa wanted her to be one, too, didn’t he, Papa!” said Christopher-John.
“外祖父也希望妈妈去教书，是吗？”克里斯托弗问。
Papa nodded. “Your mama was his baby child and every penny he’d get his hands on he’d put it -aside for her schooling… and that wasn’t easy for him either cause he was a tenant farmer and he didn’t see much cash money. But he’d promised your grandmamma ‘fore she died to see that your mama got an education, and when your mama ‘come high- school age, he sent her up to Jackson to school, then on to teacher training school. It was just ’cause he died her last year of schooling that she come on up here to teach “stead of going back to the Delta.”
爸爸点点头：“妈妈是你外祖父的心肝宝贝，外祖父攒下的钱都留下来供她上学…这很不容易，因为那时外祖父只是个佃农，收入很少。在你外祖母去世前，他曾承诺要让妈妈受到好的教育。等到你妈妈到了上中学的年纪时，外祖父就把妈妈送到杰克逊上学，后来又让她去念了师范学校。外祖父在你妈妈上学的最后一年里去世了，所以她才在这儿教书，哪里也没有去。”
Papa smiled faintly at Little Man and stood up. That’s right, son. She was too smart and pretty to let get away. He stooped and looked out the window again, then back at us. “She’s a strong, fine woman, your mama, and this thing won’t keep her down… but it’s hurt her bad. So I want y’all to be extra thoughtful for the next few days — and remember what I told you, you hear?”
爸爸淡淡笑了笑，起身说道：“没错，孩子。因为她太聪明、太漂亮了，我舍不得让她离开。”他停下来，再次望向窗外，然后回头看着我们：“你们的妈妈很坚强。她不会被这件事打垮的…但这件事确实让她伤透了心。你们这几天要好好照顾妈妈，知道了吗？”
“And y’all got married and she ain’t gone back down there no more,” interjected Little Man.
小家伙插了句：“那你们结婚后，妈妈也没有回去吗？”
“T. J.! You sure!” Stacey asked Little Willie Wiggins at recess the next day. Little Willie nodded morosely and answered, “Heard it myself. Clarence, too. Was standin’ right up “side him at the store when he told Mr. Kaleb. Come talkin”bout how Miz Logan failed him on purpose and then ~ she wasn’t a good teacher and that she the one stopped ooerybody from comin’ up to they store. Said she even was destroyin’ school property — talkin’ bout them books, you know.”
“提杰？你确定是他？”第二天课间，我听到斯泰西这么问小威利。小威利点点头：“是的，我亲耳听到了，克拉伦斯也听到了。我当时就站在提杰旁边，提杰跟华莱士先生说，洛根女士是个坏老师，不仅让他留级，还不允许别人到华莱士商店买东西。他还说洛根女士破坏了学校财产，也就是那些课本，你知道的…”
Papa left us then and went onto the back porch. There he leaned against the porch pillar for several minutes staring out toward the pasture; but after a while he stepped into the yard and crossed the garden to join Mama.
爸爸走向了后廊。他倚着柱子，望向草地。过了好一会儿，他穿过后院，走向了远处的妈妈。
“Yessir, Papa,” we answered.
“好的，爸爸。”
“Who’s gonna take him!” I cried.
“看我怎么收拾他！”我愤愤不平。
“Hush, Cassie,” said Stacey, “How come you just telling this now, Little Willie?”
“凯西，别冲动。”斯泰西说，“小威利，你怎么愿意把这些告诉我？”
Little Wiilie shrugged.”Guess I got fooled by ole T. J. Clarence and me, we told him we was gonna tell it soon as we left the store, but T. J. asked us not to do it. Said he was going right back and tell them it wasn’t nothin’ but a joke, what he said. And he went back too, and I thought nothin’ was gonna come of it.” He hesitated, then confessed, “Didn’t say nothin’ ’bout it before ’cause me and Clarence wasn’t s’pose to be up there ourselves… but then here come Mr. Granger yesterday and fires Miz Logan. I figure that’s T. J.’s doin’.”
小威利耸耸肩：“我和克拉伦斯觉得被他给耍了。当时我们跟提杰说，要把这件事说出来，可提杰却说不可以。他还说，这只不过是开个玩笑，他会去向华莱士先生解释清楚的。我看到他往商店走，也就信了。哪知道昨天格兰杰先生就开除了洛根女士，我想一定是提杰搞的鬼。”
After school when Claude turned up the forest trail leading to the Avery house, we went with him. As we emerged from the forest into the Avery yard, the house appeared deserted, but then we spied T. J., lazily swinging straddle- legged atop an inner tube hanging from an old oak in the front yard. Stacey immediately charged toward him, and when T. J. saw him coming he tried to swing his long right leg over the tube to escape. He didn’t make it. Stacey jumped up on the inner tube, giving them both a jerky ride before they landed hard on Mr. Avery’s azalea bush.
放学后，我们跟着克劳德穿过森林小径，来到了艾弗里家，却看到提杰正悠闲自在地躺在吊在橡树上的吊床里。斯泰西向他冲了过去，提杰想要逃跑，却没来得及。斯泰西跳上吊床，狠狠地给了他一拳，两个人摔倒在艾弗里太太的杜鹃花丛中。
“If he ain’t now, he gonna be.” prophesied Little Man, his tiny fists balled for action.”‘Round here telling on Mama.”
“现在不病，等下可就要生病了吧？”小家伙攥紧拳头，“我要去跟妈妈说。”
“Talking ’bout he sick,” said Christopher-John.
“他还说自己生病了呢。”克里斯托弗也插了一句。
Stacey jumped up and jerked at T. J.’s collar. “Was you the one? Did you do it!”
斯泰西站起来，揪住提杰的衣领：“是你干的吗？是不是你干的？”
“He probably figured it too,” I said. That’s why he ain’t in school today.
“怪不得他今天没来学校。”我说。
“Man, what’s the matter with you!” T. J. cried as he rolled from under Stacey to glance back at the flattened bush. “My mama gonna kill me when she see that bush.”
“你怎么啦？”提杰从地上爬起来，看着被压坏了的花，“我妈妈会杀了我的！”
“Didja tell it? You tell them Wallaces ’bout Mama!”
“是不是你跟华莱士说了我妈妈的事情？”
T. J. looked completely bewildered. “Do what! What you talkin’ ’bout?”
提杰装作一头雾水的样子：“什么？你在说些什么？”
“He do know you,” I said. “How come you think we up here!”
“他就是太了解你了。你以为我们来这里是要做什么呢？”我说。
“Me?” asked T. J. “Me! Why, man, you oughta know me better’n that.”
“我？我？怎么可能！你应该了解我的啊，兄弟。”
“Hey, now, wait a minute,” objected T. J. “I don’t know what somebody been tellin’ y’all, but I ain’t told them Wallaces nothin’.”
提杰反驳道：“嘿，我都不知道是谁跟你们说的，不过我没有跟华莱士先生说过任何事情。”
“Well, that don’t mean nothin’,” said T. J., jerking away from Stacey’s grip and hopping to his feet. “My daddy says I can go down there if I wanna. Don’t mean I told them ole folks nothin’ though.”
提杰甩开斯泰西的手：“那又怎样呢？我爸说，只要我想去，我就可以去，也不意味着我去了就会跟华莱士一家说什么！”
“Heard you told them all sorts of things… like Mama didn’t know nothin’ and she wasn’t even teaching what she s’pose to –“
“我听说你向华莱士他们告状，说什么我妈妈不按课本内容上课…”
“You was down there,” Stacey accused. “The day Mama caught you cheating. you went down to them Wallaces.
“你去过那里！我妈妈那天刚抓到你作弊，你就去了华莱士商店！”斯泰西说。
“Didn’t neither!” denied T. J. “Ain’t never said that! All I said was that it was her that…” His voice trailed off as he realized he had said too much, and he began to laugh uneasily. “Hey, look, y’all, I don’t know how come Miz Logan got fired, but I ain’t said nothin’ to make nobody fire her. All I said was that she failed me again. A fellow got a right to be mad ’bout somethin’ like that, ain’t he!”
“我没有！”提杰反驳道，“我什么也没有说，我只是说…”意识到自己似乎说了太多，提杰的声音变小了，然后不自在地大笑着，“嘿，我也不知道为什么洛根女士会被开除，但我的确没有说什么。我只是说她又一次让我留级了。一个留级的人，抱怨几句，不行吗？”
T. J. stepped backward and looked nervously over his shoulder to the south, where the fields lay fallow. The rutted wagon trail which cut through the fields leading from the distant Granger mansion revealed a thin woman stepping briskly toward us. T. J. seemed to take heart from the figure and grew cocky again. “Don’t know who’s been tellin’, but it ain’t been me.”
提杰后退了一步，看起来很紧张。他望向南边的休耕地，在格兰杰家族农地旁的路上，一个瘦弱的妇人身影正朝着我们走来。提杰又变得狂妄起来：“不管是谁说的，反正不会是我！”
Stacey’s eyes narrowed upon T. J. “Maybe,” he said. “But he ain’t got no right to go running his mouth off ’bout things that ain’t s’pose to be told.”
斯泰西依然怀疑地盯着提杰：“或许吧。但是你也不应该大嘴巴乱说话。”
A moment’s silence passed, and then Stacey, his eyes cold and condemning, said quietly, “It was you all right, T. J. It was you.” Then, turning, he motioned us back toward the forest.
一阵沉默后，斯泰西用冰冷与谴责的目光盯着提杰，语气平静：“是你，就是你，提杰。”说完，他示意我们离开。
“What could be worse than that?” asked Christopher-John.
“你要怎么做？”克里斯托弗问道。
“What he got coming to him is worse than a beating,” replied Stacey.
斯泰西回答：“他将受到的惩罚会比被痛揍更惨。”
T. J.’s first day back at school after almost a week’s absence was less than successful. Avoiding us in the morning, he arrived late, only to be shunned by the other students. At first he pretended that the students’ attitude didn’t matter, but by afternoon when school was out, he hurried after us, attempting to convince us that he was merely a victim of circumstances.
缺席了一周后，提杰再次返校的第一天也不好过。整个早上他都在避着我们，而别的同学也不理会他。刚开始他还装作满不在乎的模样，但等到放学时，他又追上我们，企图让我们相信他是无辜的。
“You’ll see,” said Stacey. “And so will T. J.”
“等着瞧吧。”斯泰西说。“提杰也是”
“Ain’t you gonna beat him up!” cried a disappointed Little Man.
小家伙失望地大叫：“你不把他痛打一顿？”
“Why, shoot, yeah!” he exclaimed. “When I catch up with that little rascal, I’m gonna beat him to a pulp, ’round here tellin’ everybody I got Miz Logan fired. Ain’t nobody even speakin’ to me no more. Little Willie probably told them Wallaces that hisself, so he figures to get out of it by tellin’ everybody it was –“
“当然啦！”提杰大声辩解着，“等我逮到那小无赖，我一定给他一顿痛揍！他竟然到处跟别人说，是我害洛根女士被学校开除，现在都没有人愿意搭理我了。一定是他自己跟华莱士先生说了些什么，为了让自己开脱才——”
“You still saying what Little Willie said ain’t true!” questioned Stacey.
斯泰西问：“你仍然坚持小威利是在说谎吗？”
“Ah, stop lying, T. J.” I said testily. “Don’t nobody believe you.”
“别说了，提杰，没有人会相信你的。”我说。
“Well, I should’ve known you wouldn’t, Cassie. You never liked me noway.”
“我就知道你会这么想，你一直都很讨厌我。”
“Hey, y’all ain’t gonna hold what Little Willie said against me, are you!” he asked.
“就因为小威利说的话，你们就不理我了吗？”
“Well, anyway, that’s the truth,” I agreed.
“反正那也是事实。”我不反驳。
“But.” said T. J., grinning again and turning toward Little Man and Christopher-John, “my little buddy Christopher-John believes me, don’t you, fellow! And you still my pal, ain’t you, Little Man!”
提杰露出牙齿笑着，又对着小家伙和克里斯托弗说：“但是，亲爱的小家伙和克里斯托弗是会相信我的，对吧？我们可是好朋友呢！”
An indignant Little Man looked up at T. J., but before he could speak, easygoing Christopher-John said, “You told on Mama, T. J. Now she all unhappy ’cause she can’t teach school no more and it’s all your fault, and we don’t like you no more!”
小家伙愤怒地看着提杰。而平日里一团和气的克里斯托弗先开了口：“你告了状，害得我妈妈被开除，没有办法教书，都是你的错！我们再也不喜欢你了！”
“Yeah i” added Little Man in agreement.
“没错！”小家伙也同意。
All of us, including Claude, stared distastefully at T. J. and walked away from him.
我们，甚至包括克劳德，都失望透顶，转身离开了。
“Hey, wait… I said I was sorry, didn’t I!” he asked, following us. “Look, what’s a fellow got to do anyway! Hey, y’all, look, this here is still ole T. J.! I ain’t changed. Y’all can’t turn on me just ’cause –“
“你们…你们等等！我都说了对不起了，你们还想怎样！”他追了过来，“看！我还是你们的那个提杰，你们的朋友啊！我一点儿也没有变，你们不能这样背叛我…”
T. J. stared down at Christopher-John, not believing that he had said that. Then he laughed uneasily. “I don’t know what’s got into folks. Everybody’s gone crazy –“
提杰难以置信地看着他俩，不自在地笑着：“你们都怎么了？疯了吗…”
“Look.” Stacey said, stopping, “first you run off with the mouth to them Wallaces and now you blaming Little Willie for what you done. Why don’t you just admit it was you!”
斯泰西说：“听着，提杰，是你自己乱说话，现在还怪到小威利的头上。为什么不直接承认那是你做的呢？”
“Hey, man!” T.]. exclaimed, grinning his easy grin. But then, finding that the grin and the smooth words no longer worked, his face dropped. “Oh, all right. All right. So maybe what if I did say somethin’ ’bout Miz Logan! I can’t even remember saying nothin’ ’bout it, but if both Little Willie and Clarence said I did then maybe I did. Anyways, I’m real sorry ’bout your mama losin’ her job and –“
提杰又摆出一副嬉皮笑脸的模样：“别这样，兄弟！”可他发现傻笑和花言巧语根本没有用后，整个脸都沉了下来：“好吧，好吧，或许我是说过一些什么的，可我自己都记不清楚了。如果小威利说我说过的话，那就算是吧。但无论怎样，对于你们妈妈被开除这件事，我很抱歉…”
His voice faded into the wind as we left him and we heard no more.
他的声音消散在风中，我们也越走越远，听不见了。
T, J., for the first time comprehending that we were no longer his friends, stopped. Then, standing alone in the middle of the road, he screamed after us, “Who needs y’all anyway! I been tired of y’all always hangin’ ’round for a long while now, but I been too nice to tell ya… I should’ve known better. What I look like, havin’ a bunch of little kids ’round all the time and me here fourteen, near grown…”
提杰意识到自己再也不是我们的朋友了之后，停下脚步，站在马路中间，大喊着：“谁稀罕当你们的朋友啊！我早就厌倦你们了，却一直对你们那么好…我早就该明白，不该跟你们这帮小不点混在一起…”
We walked on, not stopping.
我们继续走着，没有停下来。
“You the one turned, T. J.” Stacey called over his shoulder. “How leave us alone. We don’t want no more to do with you.”
“是你先背叛我们的。”斯泰西别过头，“别再跟着我们了。我们再也不想跟你在一起了。”
“Got me better friends than y’all! They give me things and treat me like I’m a man and… and they white too…”
“我会找到比你们更好的朋友的！他们会送我东西，对待我像个大人一样，而且他们还是白人…”
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