第九章: 高文的第一次浮想 Gawain’s First Reverie
Those dark widows. For what purpose did God place them on this mountain path before me? Does he wish to test my humility? Is it not enough he watches me save that gentle couple, the wounded boy also, slay a devil dog, sleep barely an hour on dew-soaked leaves before rising to learn my tasks are yet far from done, that Horace and I must set off again, not down to some sheltering village, but up another steep path beneath a grey sky? Yet he placed those widows there in my way, no doubt about it, and I did well to address them courteously. Even as they sank to foolish insults and throwing clumps of earth at Horace’s hindquarters — as though Horace could be panicked into an unseemly gallop!– I gave them not so much as a backward glance, speaking instead into Horace’s ear, reminding him we must bear all such trials well, for a far greater one awaited us up in those distant peaks where storm clouds now gathered. Besides, those weathered women with their flapping rags were once innocent maidens, some possessing beauty and grace, or at least the freshness that will often serve as well in a man’s eye. Was she not that way, the one I sometimes remember when there stretches before me as much land, empty and companionless, as I could ride on a dreary autumn’s day? No beauty was she, yet delightful enough for me. I only glimpsed her once, when I was young, and did I even speak to her then? Yet she returns sometimes in my mind’s eye, and I believe she has visited me in my sleep, for I often awake with a mysterious contentment even as my dreams fade from me.
那些讨厌的寡妇。上帝把她们放在我面前，放在这山路上，有什么用意呢？他想考验我的谦卑吗？他看着我救了那对柔弱的夫妻，还有那个受伤的男孩，看着我杀死一条魔鬼一样的狗，在沾满露水的树叶上还没睡到一个小时，又要起身，牵挂着我还没有完成的任务，我和霍拉斯又要出发，不是下山找个遮风挡雨的村子，而是又要在灰色的天空下，走一条陡峭的山路，难道这一切还不够吗？但是，他还是让那些寡妇挡着我的路，毫无疑问，我做得也不错，客客气气地跟她们说话。她们说了些侮辱人的蠢话，用土块砸霍拉斯的后腿——好像霍拉斯会惊慌失措，难看地撒腿乱跑一样——我呢，几乎都没有回头看她们，而是对着霍拉斯的耳朵说话，提醒他我们必须承受这样的考验，因为在那遥远的山巅，在风暴云聚集的地方，还有一场更严峻的考验等着我们。而且，那些衣衫破烂、饱经风霜的妇人，以前也都是清纯的少女，有些容貌美丽、举止优雅，或者至少清新活泼——在男人眼里，这一点并不逊于美丽与优雅。她不也是这样吗？我有时候会想起她来，在抑郁的秋天，眼前大地一望无垠，空阔、孤寂，骑马一天都走不到头。她不是什么美人，但我觉得够让人欢喜了。我只看过她一眼，年轻的时候，我那时候跟她说过话没有呢？可她有时候会回到我脑海里，我相信我睡觉的时候她也来过，因为我一觉醒来，梦境渐渐远去，我却常常还有一种神秘的满足感。
I felt the lingering joys of just such a feeling as Horace woke me this morning, stamping the soft forest ground where I had lain down after the night’s exertions. He knows full well I no longer have the old stamina, that after such a night it is no easy thing for me to sleep but a short hour before setting off once more. Yet seeing the sun already high over the shady roof of the forest, he would not let me sleep on. He stamped his feet until I rose, chainmail complaining. I curse this armour more and more. Has it really saved me from much? A small wound or two at best. It is the sword, not the armour, I have to thank for this abiding health. I rose and observed the leaves around me. Why so many fallen and the summer not yet old? Do these trees ail, even as they shelter us? A shaft of sun breaking through the high foliage fell across Horace’s muzzle, and I watched him shake his nose from side to side, as though that beam were a fly sent to torment him. He had no pleasant night either, listening to noises of the forest all about him, wondering to what dangers his knight had gone. Displeased though I was that he aroused me so soon, when I stepped towards him, it was only to hold his neck gently in both my arms, and for a brief moment rest my head in his mane. A hard master he has, I know that. I push him on when I know him to be weary, curse him when he has done no wrong. And all this metal as much burden for him as for me. How much further will we ride together? I patted him gently, saying, “We’ll find a friendly village soon, and you’ll have a better breakfast than the one you just had.”
今天早上霍拉斯把我喊醒的时候，我就有这种感觉，醒来还感到快乐。我累了一晚上，就睡在树林里松软的地上，霍拉斯踩踏着地面，要把我喊醒。他很清楚，我已经没有以前的精力啦，折腾了一个晚上，睡一个小时就爬起来继续赶路，对我可不是容易的事情。但是，看到太阳已经高挂在阴凉的树林上方，他就不能让我继续睡觉了。他不停地踏脚，最后我只好起来，锁子甲都喀喀作响，好像不愿意。我越来越讨厌这盔甲了。它真的帮我挡过什么吗？最多少受一两次小伤而已。我身体一直健康，要感谢的是这把剑，不是盔甲。我站起身，观察周围的树叶。夏天还没过去，怎么落了这么多呢？这些树为我们遮风挡雨，难道生病了吗？一缕阳光从高高的枝叶间穿透下来，落在霍拉斯的鼻子上，我看着他鼻子晃来晃去，好像那缕光是只苍蝇，飞下来要折磨他。他晚上过得也不好，一直听着周围树林里的声音，心里担心他的骑士不知道上哪儿冒险去了。他那么早叫醒我，我有点不开心，但我还是走过去，双手轻轻抱住他的脖子，把头贴在他的鬃毛上歇了一会儿。他这个主人心狠着呢，这我知道。我知道他累了，可还是逼他继续走；他什么错误也没犯，可我还要骂他。还有这一大堆铁家伙，我穿着累，他驮着也累。我们还要一起走多久呢？我轻轻拍着他，说：“我们很快就能找到一个友好的村子，你就能吃顿早餐，比你刚才吃的好。”
I spoke this way believing the problem of Master Wistan settled. But we were hardly down the path, not yet out of the woods, when we came across the bedraggled monk, his shoes broken, hurrying before us to Lord Brennus’s camp, and what does he tell us but that Master Wistan has escaped the monastery, leaving his pursuers of the night dead, many no more than charred bones. What a fellow! Strange how my heart fills with joy to hear the news, even though it brings back a heavy task I thought behind us. So Horace and I put aside our thoughts of hay and roast meat and good company, and now we climb uphill once more. Thankfully, at least, we travel further from that cursed monastery. In my heart, it is true, I am relieved Master Wistan did not perish at the hands of those monks and the wretched Brennus. But what a fellow! The blood he sheds each day would make the Severn overflow! He was wounded, the bedraggled monk thought, but who can rely on one such as Master Wistan to lie down and die easily? How foolish I was to let the boy Edwin run off that way, and now who will wager against the two of them finding each other? So foolish, yet I was weary then, and besides, little imagined Master Wistan could escape. What a fellow! Had he been a man of our day, Saxon though he is, he would have won Arthur’s admiration. Even the best of us would have feared to meet him as a foe. Yet yesterday, when I saw him meet Brennus’s soldier in combat, I might have seen a small weakness on his left side. Or was it his clever ploy of the moment? If I watch him fight once more, I will know better. A skilful warrior all the same, and it would take a knight of Arthur to suspect it, but I thought it so, as I watched the fight. I said to myself, look there, a small lapse on the left side. One a canny opponent might just exploit. Yet which of us would not have respected him?
我这样说，是因为我相信维斯坦阁下的问题已经解决了。但是，我们没走多少路，还没出树林呢，就碰上了那名衣衫破烂的僧侣，鞋子都破了，在我们前面匆匆忙忙赶往布雷纳斯爵爷的营地，他还能告诉我们什么消息呢，无非是维斯坦阁下逃出了修道院，晚上来抓他的人都死了，很多都成了焦黑的骨头。真是个人物啊！奇怪的是，听到这个消息，我心里很高兴，尽管我原以为不必完成的那项艰巨任务，现在又要去完成了。所以，我和霍拉斯也不去想什么干草、烤肉和友好的伙伴啦，现在又在这儿爬山。谢天谢地，至少我们离那该死的修道院越来越远。没错，那些僧侣和令人憎恶的布雷纳斯没杀死维斯坦阁下，我心里感到欣慰。但是，他可真是个人物啊！每天他手上流的血，都要让塞文河泛滥啦！那个穿着破烂的僧侣说，他受伤了，但谁能指望像维斯坦阁下这样的人物会轻易倒下来，说死就死呢？让那个男孩埃德温就那样跑走，我真傻啊，现在，谁敢说他们两人会找不到对方呢？真傻，可我当时很累，而且，也没想到维斯坦阁下竟能逃掉。真是个人物啊！他要是生在我们那个年代，虽然是个撒克逊人，也能赢得亚瑟的赞赏。我们当中最优秀的，也不愿意与他正面为敌。不过，昨天他和布雷纳斯的士兵战斗时，我发现他左侧也许有个小小的弱点。或者是他当时卖了个破绽？如果再看他战斗一次，我就能搞清楚。不过他仍旧是个本领很高的武士，也只有亚瑟王的骑士才能看出问题来。看他战斗的时候，我的确是这么想的，我对自己说，你看那儿，左侧有个小小的弱点。聪明的对手可以利用。但是，我们哪个会不尊重他呢？
Why choose such a barren spot to gather? Not a cairn, nor a dry well to mark it. No thin tree nor shrub to comfort a wayfarer from sun or rain. Just these chalky rocks from which they rose, sunk into the earth on either side of the road. Let’s be sure, I said to Horace, let’s be sure my old eyes don’t let me down and these are not bandits come to set upon us. But there was no need to draw the sword — its blade still stinks of that devil dog’s slime, no matter I thrust it deep in the ground before I slept — for they were old women sure enough, though we might have made good use of a shield or two against them. Ladies, let us remember them as ladies, Horace, now we are finally beyond them, for are they not to be pitied? We will not call them hags, even if their manners tempt us to. Let us remember that once, some among them at least possessed grace and beauty.
为什么要在这么个荒凉的地方聚会？没有石头堆，没有干枯的井，什么标记也没有。没有一棵小树，没有一片灌木丛，不能给行路的人遮太阳挡雨。只有她们从上面起身的那些白石头，嵌在路两边的土里。我们要确定一下，我对霍拉斯说，我们要确定一下，我老眼昏花，有没有看错，是不是土匪朝我们扑过来了。但是，没有必要拔剑——剑刃上还有那只恶魔狗的黏液的气味，尽管睡觉前我把剑深深插在地里——因为她们肯定是上了年纪的女人，不过，如果有一两面盾牌抵挡一下，倒是很不错的。女士们——霍拉斯，既然我们终于甩开了她们，就称她们为女士吧，她们不也值得同情吗？我们不要称她们为泼妇吧，虽然她们极不礼貌，让人真想这么称呼。让我们再提醒一下自己，至少她们中的有些曾经容貌美丽、举止优雅。
Yet these dark widows, why do they cross our path? Is our day not busy enough? Our patience not yet sufficiently taxed? We’ll stop at the next crest, I was saying to Horace as we came up the slope. We’ll stop and rest even though black clouds gather and we most likely face a storm. And if there be no trees I’ll still sit down right there on the scrubbed heather and we shall rest all the same. Yet when the road finally levelled, what do we see but great birds perched on their rocks, and they rise as one, not to fly into the darkening sky, but towards us. Then I saw they were no birds, but old women in flapping cloaks, assembling on the path before us.
可这些讨厌的寡妇，她们怎么跑到我们的路上了呢？我们这一天难道还不够忙吗？耐心还没有耗尽？我们到下一个山顶停一下吧，上坡的时候我对霍拉斯说。我们要停一下，休息一会儿，虽然天上起了乌云，可能有风暴。如果没树，我也要在那矮石楠上坐下来，我们还是要休息休息。可等路平坦下来，我们看到了什么呢？一群大鸟蹲在石头上，都一起飞起来，不是飞到越来越暗的天空，而是朝我们飞。后来我才看明白，那不是鸟，而是一帮上了年纪的女人，披着大斗篷，聚到我们面前的路上。
“Here he comes,” cried one, “the impostor knight!” Others took up the cry as I came closer, and we might have trotted through their ranks, but I am not one to shy from adversity. So I brought Horace to a halt right in their midst, though gazing towards the next peak as if studying the gathering clouds. Only when their rags flapped around me, and I could feel the blast of their shouts, did I gaze down from the saddle at them. Were there fifteen? Twenty? Hands reached to touch Horace’s flanks, and I whispered to calm him. Then I straightened and said, “Ladies, if we are to talk, you must cease this noise!” To which they quietened, but their looks stayed angry, and I said then, “What do you want of me, ladies? Why come upon me this way?” To which one woman calls up, “We know you for the foolish knight too timid to complete the task given him.” And another, “If you’d done long ago what God asked of you, would we be wandering the land in woe this way?” And yet another, “He dreads his duty! See it on his face. He dreads his duty!”
“他来啦，”其中一个喊道，“那个假骑士！”我走近的时候，其他人也跟着喊起来，本来我们可以从她们当中直接走过去，但我可不是一遇到逆境就躲开的那种人。于是我让霍拉斯停下来，就在她们当中，但我的眼睛却凝视着下一座山峰，好像在打量那聚集的云一样。她们的破衣服在我们身边扇动，我能感觉到她们的叫喊声扑面而来，这时候我才从马上低头看着她们。有十五个吗？二十？有人伸手去碰霍拉斯的肚腹，我低声让他不要烦躁。然后我挺直身体，说道，“女士们，如果我们要说话，你们就必须停止叫嚷！”听到这话，她们安静下来，但她们的目光仍然很愤怒。我说：“你们想要怎么样，女士们？为什么要这样拦住我？”一个女人喊道：“我们认识你，你就是那个愚蠢的骑士，胆小如鼠，不敢完成交给你的任务。”另一个说，“如果你很早以前就完成了上帝交给你的任务，我们这时候还会痛苦地到处流浪吗？”又有一个说，“他害怕他的职责！你们看他的脸色。他害怕他的职责！”
This shook me, and I cried out, “What do you know of it? What do you know of Querig?” but saw in time the need for restraint. And so I spoke calmly: “Explain it, ladies, what compels you to walk the roads this way?” To which a parched voice behind said, “If you ask why I wander, knight, I’ll happily tell you. When the boatman put to me his questions, my beloved already in the boat and reaching out to help me in, I found my most treasured memories robbed from me. I didn’t know then but know now, Querig’s breath was the thief robbed me, the very creature you were to have slain long ago.”
这让我震惊，我喊道：“你们知道什么？魁瑞格，你们知道什么？”但我及时意识到，必须克制。于是我平静地说：“请解释一下，女士们，是什么迫使你们在路上流浪？”人群后面有个干涩的声音说，“你问我们为什么流浪，骑士，我很高兴跟你说说。那个船夫问我问题，我的爱人已经在船里了，正伸手扶我上船呢，可这时候我发现，我最宝贵的记忆都被夺走了。当时我不知道，但现在我知道了，偷走我记忆的贼，就是魁瑞格的呼吸，你很久以前就该杀死她。”
“Mistress,” I said to her, “I may look burdened by years. But I remain a knight of the great Arthur. If you’ll tell me your troubles, I’ll gladly help you as I can.”
“夫人，”我对她说，“也许我看起来年老体弱。但我仍然是伟大的亚瑟的骑士。如果你们告诉我有什么麻烦，我将很高兴尽力帮助。”
I contained my anger and asked them to explain themselves. Whereupon one a little more civil than the rest stepped forward. “Forgive us, knight. It’s long days we’ve wandered under these skies and to see you in person come riding boldly our way, we cannot but make you hear our laments.”
我强忍住怒火，要求她们解释。有一个比其他人稍微礼貌一点儿，她走上前来。“原谅我们，骑士。我们在这天空下流浪很多天了，看到你大胆地骑着马往我们这边走，我们就忍不住要你听听我们的悲痛。”
To my dismay the women — the civil one included — all broke into a sarcastic laugh, and then a voice said: “Had you done your duty long ago and slain the she-dragon, we’d not be wandering distressed this way.”
让我疑惑不解的是，那些女人——包括那个懂礼貌的——都讽刺地大笑起来，然后一个声音说：“你要是很早以前履行了职责，杀死了母龙，那我们就不必这么痛苦地流浪啦。”
Only then do I feel Horace give a tremble, and I hear myself ask, “What are you, ladies? Are you living or dead?” To which the women once more break into laughter, a jeering sound to it that makes Horace shift a hoof uneasily. I pat him gently while I say, “Ladies, why do you laugh? Was that so foolish a question?” And the raspy voice behind says, “See how fearful he is! Now he fears us as readily as he does the dragon!”
这时候我才感觉到霍拉斯颤抖了一下，我听见自己问，“女士们，你们是什么？是人还是鬼？”她们又一次大笑起来，那嘲讽的声音让霍拉斯不安地挪动着一只蹄子。我轻轻拍着他，说：“女士们，你们为什么笑？这个问题很傻吗？”人群后面那个嘶哑的声音说道：“看他有多害怕！现在他害怕我们，就像害怕龙一样！”
“How can you know this, mistress?” I demanded, no longer able to hide my consternation. For how can it be such vagabonds know a secret so well guarded? To which the civil one then smiles strangely and says, “We’re widows, knight. There’s little can be hidden from us now.”
“这你怎么知道呢，夫人？”我质问道。我没法隐藏内心的惊恐。这样一个流浪者，怎么可能知道如此严守的秘密呢？那个礼貌的女人奇怪地笑了笑，说道：“我们是寡妇，骑士。现在能瞒住我们的事情不多了。”
“What nonsense is this, lady?” I shout more forcefully, as Horace takes a step back against my wishes, and I have to tug to steady him. “I fear no dragon, and fierce though Querig is, I’ve faced far greater evils in my time. If I’ve been slow to slay her, it’s only because she hides herself with great cunning in those high rocks. You rebuke me, madam, but what do we hear of Querig now? A time was she thought nothing of raiding a village or more each month, yet boys have grown into men since we last heard of the like. She knows I close in, so she dares not show herself beyond these hills.”
“女士，这是什么废话？”我更加用力地喊道，霍拉斯却违背我的意愿，往后退了一步，我使劲拉缰绳才让他稳住。“我不害怕龙。虽然魁瑞格很凶悍，但是我这辈子也面对过更加邪恶的东西。如果说我没有早点杀死她，那是因为她非常狡猾，躲在那些高山的岩石里面。你谴责我，女士，但是现在我们还听得到魁瑞格的风声吗？有段时间，人们只知道她每个月至少都要攻击一个村庄，但是我们已经很久没有听说过类似的事情了吧，小男孩都长成了大人。她知道被我盯住了，所以不敢出来，只躲在那些山里。”
Even as I spoke, one woman opened her raggy cloak and a clump of mud struck Horace’s neck. Intolerable, I told Horace, we must go on. What can these old crones know of our mission? I nudged him to move forward but he was strangely frozen, and I had to dig in my spur to make him push forward. Thankfully the dark figures parted before us and I was gazing again at the distant peaks. My heart sank at the thought of those desolate high grounds. Even the company of these unholy hags, I thought, might be preferable to those bleak winds. But as though to disabuse me of such sentiments, the women started up their chant behind me, and I felt more mud flung our way. But what do they chant? Do they dare cry “coward”? I had a mind to turn and show my wrath, yet remembered myself in time. Coward, coward. What do they know? Were they there? Were they there that day long ago we rode out to face Querig? Would they have called me coward then, or any of us five? And even after that great mission — from which only three returned — did I not then, ladies, with hardly a rest, hurry to the valley’s edge to make good my promise to the young maid?
我还在说话的时候，有个女人掀开她的破斗篷，一团泥土砸在霍拉斯的脖子上。我无法忍受，对霍拉斯说，我们得走。我们的使命，这些老娘儿们能知道什么？我催他向前走，奇怪的是，他一动不动，我只好用马刺踢他，他这才迈步。幸好那些黑色的人影在我们前面分开，我又一次抬眼去看远方的山峰。想到那荒凉的高山，我的心沉了下来。我想，就算是这些不知天高地厚的老太婆陪着我，也比那刺骨的风好。但是，那些女人似乎是要提醒我，这样的感受是错误的，竟然在我身后齐声唱了起来，我感到有更多泥巴朝我们这儿飞。她们唱的是什么呢？她们敢喊“懦夫”吗？我真想转过身去，发泄怒火，但及时忍住了。懦夫，懦夫。她们知道什么？她们在场吗？很久以前的那一天，我们出发去面对魁瑞格，那时候她们在场吗？那时候她们会说我是懦夫吗，或者我们五个人中随便哪一个？那是个伟大的任务，最后只有三个人回来了。任务完成之后，女士们，我几乎都没休息，不是又急忙赶到山谷边，兑现了我对那位年轻姑娘的承诺吗？
“Turn back, maiden,” I called down from the stallion, this being before the days of Horace, when even I was young. “What great foolishness makes you go that way? Don’t you know a battle rages down in this valley?”
“回来，姑娘，”我骑在公马上向下喊道，那时候还没有霍拉斯呢，连我自己都很年轻。“你这是犯了什么傻，要往那边走？这山谷里正在打仗，难道你不知道吗？”
“Has some sprite bewitched you, maiden? I came from the valley floor just now where seasoned warriors spew out their stomachs from dread. I’d not have you hear even a distant echo of it. And why that hoe so large for you?”
“你是受了精灵的蛊惑吗，姑娘？我刚从谷底来，久经沙场的武士都害怕得呕吐不止。我都不愿意你从远处听到一丁点儿回声。为什么扛那么大一个锄头呢？”
Edra, she later told me was her name. She was no beauty, and dressed in the simplest weeds, but like that other I sometimes dream of, she had a bloom tugged my heart. I saw her on the roadside carrying her hoe in both her arms. Only lately become a woman, she was small and slight, and the sight of such innocence, wandering unprotected so near the horrors from which I just came made it impossible for me to ride by, even if I went to such a mission as I did.
厄德拉，她后来跟我说了她的名字。她不是什么美人，穿的也是最简单的衣服，但和我有时候梦到的另外那一位一样，她脸上红霞灿烂，让我心动。我看见她在路边，双手拿着锄头。她刚刚才成为女人，身材娇小柔弱。我要去完成那项艰难的任务，但是，看到这样天真的人儿，独自游荡，离我刚抛在身后的恐怖之地又那么近，我无法从她身旁骑马而过，不予理睬。
“I know it well, sir,” she says, and no fear meeting my eye. “It’s a long journey I’ve made to come this far, and soon I’ll be down the valley and join the battle.”
“我很清楚，先生，”她说，毫不胆怯地看着我。“我已经走了很远的路，很快我就要到山谷里去，加入战斗。”
“There’s a Saxon lord I know is down in the valley now, and I pray with all my heart he isn’t fallen and God will protect him well. For I will have him die at my hands only, after what he did to my dear mother and sisters, and I carry this hoe to do the work. It breaks the ground of a winter’s morning, so it will do well enough on this Saxon’s bones.”
“我认识一个撒克逊领主，就在下面的山谷里，我全心全意祈祷，希望他没死，希望上帝保护好他。他对我亲爱的母亲和姐妹们做了那样的事情，我一定要他死在我手里，我扛锄头就是为了这个。这把锄头能刨冬天早晨的冻土，同样也能刨这个撒克逊人的骨头。”
I was obliged then to dismount and hold her by the arm even as she tried to pull away. If she still lives today — Edra, she later told me was her name — she would now be near your age, ladies. It may even be she was among you just now, how would I know? No great beauty, but like that other, her innocence spoke to me. “Let me go, sir!” she cries, to which I say, “You’ll not go down into that valley. The sight from the edge alone will make you swoon.” “I’m no weakling, sir,” she cries. “Let me go!” And there we stand on the roadside like two quarrelling children, and I can calm her only by saying:
这时候我只好下马，抓住她的胳膊，虽然她想挣脱开。如果她今天还活着——厄德拉，她后来跟我说了她的名字——应该和你们的年纪差不多，女士们。她甚至有可能刚才就在你们当中，谁知道呢？不算了不起的美人，但和另外那位一样，她的天真打动了我。“让我去，先生！”她喊道。我回答说：“你不能进入山谷。站在边上看一眼你都会晕倒。”“我不是懦夫，先生，”她喊道。“让我去！”我们就那样站在路边，像两个吵架的孩子，为了让她安静下来，我只好说：
“Maiden, I see nothing will dissuade you. But think how remote the chances of your finding alone the vengeance you crave. Yet with my help your chances will improve manyfold. So be patient and sit a while out of this sun. Look there, sit beneath that elder tree, and wait for my return. I go to join four comrades on a mission which though grave with danger, won’t keep me long. Should I perish you’ll see me come this way again tied across the saddle of this same horse, and you’ll know I can no longer keep my promise. Otherwise I swear I’ll return and we’ll together go down to make your dream of vengeance true. Be patient, maiden, and if your cause is just, as I believe it to be, God will see this lord doesn’t fall before we reach him.”
“姑娘，我不知道该怎么打消你的念头。但是，你想一想，你一个人去找那个人报仇，能有多大机会呢？如果我帮助你，你的机会就会增加很多倍。所以你要耐心一些，到荫凉的地方坐一会儿。你看那边，到那棵接骨木下面坐着，等我回来。我去和四位战友一起完成一项任务，很危险，但时间不会很长。如果我死了，你还能看到我再次从这里经过，绑在这同一匹马的马鞍上，那你就知道，我无法履行我的承诺了。否则，我发誓一定会回来，我们一起下去，实现你复仇的梦想。耐心点，姑娘，我相信你的所求是正当的，既然这样，上帝一定会让这位领主活着，等我们去找他。”
Were these the words of a coward, ladies, uttered that very day, even as I rode out to face Querig? And once we were done with our task, and I saw I had been spared — though two of us five had not — I hastened back, weary as I was, to that valley’s edge and the elder tree where the maid still waited, her hoe in her arms. She sprang to her feet, and the sight of her again tugged my heart. Yet when I tried once more to sway her from her intent, for I dreaded to see her enter that valley, she said angrily, “Are you false, sir? Will you not keep your promise to me?” So I placed her on the saddle — she held the rein even as she clasped the hoe to her bosom — and I led on foot both horse and maiden down the valley slopes. Did she blanch as we first heard the din? Or when on the outskirts of the battle we met desperate Saxons, their pursuers on their heels? Did she wilt when exhausted warriors groped across our path trailing wounds along the ground? Small tears appeared and I saw her hoe tremble, but she did not turn away. For her eyes had their task, searching that bloody field left and right, far and near. Then I mounted the horse myself, and carrying her before me as if she were some gentle lamb, we rode together into the thick. Did I look timid then, thrashing with my sword, covering her with my shield, turning the horse this way and that until finally the battle tossed us both into the mud? But she was quickly on her feet, and recovering her hoe, began to tread a path through the mashed and quartered heaps. Our ears filled with the strange cries, but she seemed not to hear, the way a good Christian maid refuses the lewd shouts of the coarse men she passes. I was young then and nimble of foot, so ran about her with my sword, cutting down any who would do her harm, sheltering her with my shield from the arrows that regularly fell among us. Then she saw at last the one she sought, yet it was as if we were adrift on choppy waves and though an isle seems near, the tides somehow keep it beyond reach. It was that way for us that day. I fought and battered and kept her safe, yet it seemed an eternity till we stood before him, and even then three men specially to guard him. I passed my shield to the maid, saying, “Shelter well, for your prize is almost yours,” and though I faced three, and I saw they were warriors of skill, I defeated them one by one till I faced the Saxon lord she so hated. His knees were thick with the gore he waded through, but I saw this was no warrior, and I brought him down till he lay breathing on the earth, his legs no more use to him, staring his hatred up at the sky. So she came then and stood above him, the shield tossed aside, and the look in her eyes chilled my blood over all else to be seen across that ghastly field. Then she brought the hoe down not with a swing, but a small prod, then another, the way she is searching for potatoes in the soil, until I am made to cry, “Finish it, maiden, or I’ll do it myself!” to which she says, “Leave me now, sir. I thank you for your service, but now it’s done.” “Only half done, maiden,” I cry, “till I see you safe from this valley,” but she no longer listens and goes on with her foul work. I would have quarrelled further, but it was then he appeared from the crowd. I mean Master Axl, as I now know him, a younger man that day to be sure, but a wise countenance even then, and when I saw him it was as if the noise of battle receded to a hush around us.
这是懦夫的话吗，女士们，就在那天说的，就在我骑马去对付魁瑞格那天？任务完成了，我知道自己侥幸活了下来——我们五个人，有两个没回来——便立即往回赶，虽然我很疲惫，我要回到山谷边缘，回到那棵接骨木下，姑娘还在那儿等着，双手抱着锄头。她跳了起来，再次看到她，又让我心动。我又一次试图说服她不要去，因为我害怕看到她进入山谷，她却愤怒地说：“先生，难道你是骗人的？你不履行对我的承诺？”于是我把她放到马鞍上——她拉着缰绳，怀里还抱着锄头——我在前面步行，领着马和姑娘往山谷里走。她脸色变白了吗，当我们刚听到那喧闹声的时候？还是当我们在战场外围遇到被人紧紧追赶、走投无路的撒克逊人的时候？那些筋疲力尽的武士，从我们前面爬过，伤口的血一路洒在地上，她畏缩了吗？她眼里有泪花，我看见她的锄头在抖动，但她没有扭过头去。她的眼睛忙个不停，在血淋淋的战场上前后左右搜索。然后我自己上了马，把她放在我身前，好像她是只温驯的羊羔一样，我们一起骑马进了战场最深处。那时候我有过怯懦之色吗？我挥舞着剑，用盾牌遮挡她，骑着马东奔西突，直到最后两人都摔在泥浆里？她马上站起身来，找回了锄头，开始在一堆堆残肢断臂之间辟出一条路来。我们耳里全是奇怪的叫喊声，但她似乎没有听到，就像一位信奉基督教的正经好姑娘，只管自己走路，不理会粗俗男人们的下流叫喊。我那时候年轻，脚下灵活，拿着剑在她周围跑来跑去，砍倒所有想伤害她的人，用盾牌遮挡不时飞过来的箭。最后，她终于看到了她要找的人，然而，我们好像漂浮在惊涛骇浪中一样，虽然岛屿就在眼前，却总被浪推开，无法靠近。我们两人那天就是这样。我战斗着、砍杀着，保护着她，但是过了很久我们才来到那人跟前，而且有三个人专门守卫着他。我把盾牌交给那姑娘，说：“挡好自己，他就快是你的了。”我以一对三，也知道他们都是本领很高的武士，但我还是一个一个打败了他们，最后我直接面对她恨之入骨的那位撒克逊领主。他在血流成河的战场上走，腿上全是血，但我能看出来，他不是武士，我把他打倒，他躺在地上喘着气，腿已经没用了，眼睛充满仇恨地瞪着天空。这时候她来了，站到他跟前，盾牌丢在一边，她的眼神让我脊背发凉，超过那可怕战场上的一切。然后她的锄头下来了，不是抡起胳膊甩下来，而是轻轻地锄一下，接着是第二下，好像她是在地里刨庄稼一样。我看不下去，喊道：“了结了吧，姑娘，要不我自己来啦！”她说：“别管我了，先生。我谢谢你帮忙，但现在结束了。”“才结束一半呢，姑娘，”我喊道，“我还要让你安全地离开山谷。”但她不再听我说话，又去做她那可怕的事。我本来会继续争辩下去，可就在这时候，他从人群中出来了。我说的是埃克索阁下，这是他现在的身份，那天他当然更年轻，但那时候他就有一副智慧的样子，我一看到他，好像战场的喧闹立即退去，成了我们周围低低的背景声音一样。
But he keeps a faraway look, as if he stands in a meadow of daisies on a fragrant morning. “If God chooses to direct an arrow this way,” he says, “I’ll not impede it. Sir Gawain, I’m pleased to see you well. Are you lately arrived, or have you been here from its start?”
但他目光悠远，仿佛在一个花香扑鼻的清晨，站在雏菊盛开的草地上。“如果上帝决定引一支箭到这边来，”他说，“我也不会去拦。高文爵士，很高兴看到你平安无事。你是刚到吗，还是一开始就在这儿？”
“Why stand so exposed, sir?” I say to him. “And your sword still in its sheath? Take up a fallen shield at least and cover yourself.”
“为什么毫不遮挡地站着呢，先生？”我对他说。“剑还在鞘里？至少从地上捡个盾牌吧，把自己遮起来。”
This as if we meet at some summer fair, and I am obliged to cry again, “Cover yourself, sir! The field remains thick with the foe.” And when he continues to survey the scenery, I say, remembering his question to me: “I was here at the battle’s start, but Arthur then chose me as one of five to ride to a mission of great import. I’m only now returned from it.”
这话说的，好像我们俩是在夏季集市上聊天一样，我不得不又一次喊道：“遮挡一下，先生！战场上还有很多敌人。”他仍旧像看风景一样，我想起了他的问题，说道：“战斗开始的时候我就在，后来亚瑟选了我和其他四个人去完成一项有重要意义的任务。我刚刚才回来。”
“Master Merlin,” he says. “A sage he may be, but that old man makes me shudder.” Then he glances about once more, saying, “I’m sorry to hear of your lost friends. Many more will be missed before the day closes.”
“梅林阁下，”他说。“那个老人家也许是智者，但他让我不寒而栗。”然后他又看了看周围，说道，“很遗憾你失去了朋友。今天，将会有更多的人离去。”
At last I draw his attention. “A mission of great import? And did it go well?”
这话总算引起了他的注意。“有重要意义的任务？顺利吗？”
“Sadly, two comrades lost, but we accomplished it to Master Merlin’s satisfaction.”
“伤心的是，我们失去了两位战友，但任务完成了，梅林很满意。”
“I believe they do so for sheer anger and hatred of us,” he says. “For it must be by now word has reached their ears of what’s been done to their innocents left in their villages. I’m myself just come from them, so why would the news not reach also the Saxon ranks?”
“我相信，他们这样做，完全是因为对我们的愤怒和仇恨，”他说。“因为这时候他们肯定已经获得了消息，知道我们对留在他们村子里的那些无辜的人做过什么。我自己刚从那儿回来，那些撒克逊士兵怎么可能不知道这消息呢？”
“Yet the victory’s surely ours,” I say. “These cursed Saxons. Why fight on this way with only Death to thank them for it?”
“但胜利肯定属于我们，”我说。“这些该死的撒克逊人。为什么要这样继续打下去呢？只有死神才会感谢他们拼命。”
“Why dwell on this matter, Master Axl? Our victory today’s secure and will be a famous one.”
“为什么老谈这件事呢，埃克索阁下？今天，我们胜利在握，而且会名垂后世。”
“News of their women, children and elderly, left unprotected after our solemn agreement not to harm them, now all slaughtered by our hands, even the smallest babes. If this were lately done to us, would our hatred exhaust itself? Would we not also fight to the last as they do, each fresh wound given a balm?”
“我们正式允诺不伤害他们的妇女、儿童和老人，所以他们留在村子里，没人保护。但是，现在他们都被我们的人杀了，包括最小的婴儿。如果有人刚刚对我们干过这种事，我们的仇恨能消除吗？难道我们不会像他们这样拼死战斗，每一道伤口都是一个慰藉？”
“Why do I dwell on it? Sir, these are the very villages I befriended in Arthur’s name. In one village they called me the Knight of Peace, and today I watched a mere dozen of our men ride through it with no hint of mercy, the only ones to oppose them boys not yet grown to our shoulders.”
“我为什么老谈这件事？先生，我以亚瑟的名义，与这些村庄友好相处。有个村子里，大家说我是和平骑士。今天，我看着我们的十几个士兵长驱直入，毫无怜悯之心，唯一能抵抗他们的，是一帮还没我们肩膀那么高的男孩子。”
“What news do you speak of, Master Axl?”
“你说的是什么消息，埃克索阁下？”
“I’m saddened to hear this news. But I press you again, sir, pick up a shield at least.”
“听到这消息，我很难过。但我再次敦促你，先生，至少捡起一面盾牌吧。”
“Your uncle’s safe from me, sir. Yet how do you rejoice, Sir Gawain, in a victory won at this price?”
“我不会去伤害你舅舅，先生。可是，高文爵士，用这么大的代价赢来的胜利，你怎么能这么高兴呢？”
“I came upon village by village the same, and our own men boasting of what they did.”
“我经过的每一个村庄都是这样，而我们的人还为此洋洋得意。”
“Don’t blame yourself, sir, nor my uncle. The great law you once brokered was a thing truly wondrous while it held. How many innocents, Briton or Saxon, were spared over the years for it? That it didn’t hold forever is none of your doing.”
“不要责怪自己，先生，也不要责怪我舅舅。你曾宣扬的那伟大法律，在其生效之时，是一件真正了不起的事情。这么多年来，多少无辜的不列颠人和撒克逊人，因为这部法律而保住了性命？法律后来没能维持下去，但那并不是你的错。”
“Yet they believed in our bargain till this day. It was I won their trust where first there was only fear and hatred. Today our deeds make me a liar and a butcher, and I take no joy in Arthur’s victory.”
“可他们直到今天仍然相信我们的协议。一开始他们只有畏惧和仇恨，是我赢得了他们的信任。我们今天的所作所为，让我成了骗子和刽子手，亚瑟的胜利，我一点儿也不感到高兴。”
“What will you do with such wild words, sir? If it’s treachery you contemplate, let’s face one another with no more delay!”
“你说这种胡话是想干什么呢，先生？如果你这是要背叛，那我们不要耽搁，现在就来见个分晓吧！”
“Master Axl, what was done in these Saxon towns today my uncle would have commanded only with a heavy heart, knowing of no other way for peace to prevail. Think, sir. Those small Saxon boys you lament would soon have become warriors burning to avenge their fathers fallen today. The small girls soon bearing more in their wombs, and this circle of slaughter would never be broken. Look how deep runs the lust for vengeance! Look even now, at that fair maid, one I escorted here myself, watch her there still at her work! Yet with today’s great victory a rare chance comes. We may once and for all sever this evil circle, and a great king must act boldly on it. May this be a famous day, Master Axl, from which our land can be in peace for years to come.”
“埃克索阁下，今天下令对那些撒克逊村庄动手时，我舅舅肯定心情沉重，他不知道除此之外，还有什么别的方法获得持久的和平。想想吧，先生。你怜悯的那些撒克逊男孩，很快就会成为武士，迫不及待地要为今天丧生的父亲报仇。那些小女孩的子宫里很快会生长出更多的武士，这屠杀的魔咒永远不会限免。你看看复仇的欲望有多么强烈！你现在就看，看看这位漂亮的姑娘，我自己护送过来的，你看她还没停手呢！然而，今天的伟大胜利，就是个难得的机会。我们也许能一劳永逸地限免这个邪恶的魔咒，而一位伟大的君王应当果断行动、抓住机会。埃克索阁下，希望这一天名垂青史，从今往后我们的土地能获得多年的和平。”
“I fail to understand you, sir. Though today we slaughter a sea of Saxons, be they warriors or babes, there are yet many more across the land. They come from the east, they land by ship on our coasts, they build new villages by the day. This circle of hate is hardly broken, sir, but forged instead in iron by what’s done today. I’ll go now to your uncle and report what I’ve seen. I would see from his face if he believes God will smile on such deeds.”
“我不明白你的意思，先生。今天我们的确杀了无数撒克逊人，无论是武士还是婴儿，但是穿过这片土地，那边还有更多的撒克逊人。他们从东方来，坐船登上我们的海岸，每天都在建起新的村庄。这仇恨的循环根本没有打破，先生，反而因为今天的屠杀而更加牢固。现在我去见你舅舅了，汇报我看到的情况。他相信上帝会微笑着看待今天的行为吗？我去看看他脸上的表情就知道了。”
A slaughterer of babes. Is that what we were that day? And what of that one I escorted, what became of her? Was she among you just now, ladies? Why gather about me this way as I ride to my duty? Let an old man go in peace. A slaughterer of babes. Yet I was not there, and even had I been, what good for me to argue with a great king, and he my uncle too? I was but a young knight then, and besides, is he not proved right each year that passes? Did you not all grow old in a time of peace? So leave us to go our way without insults at our back. The Law of the Innocents, a mighty law indeed, one to bring men closer to God — so Arthur himself always said, or was it Master Axl called it that? We called him Axelum or Axelus then, but now he goes by Axl, and has a fine wife. Why taunt me, ladies? Is it my fault you grieve? My time will come before long, and I will not turn back to roam this land as you do. I shall greet the boatman contentedly, enter his rocking boat, the waters lapping all about, and I may sleep a while, the sound of his oar in my ears. And I will move from slumber to half-waking, and see the sun sunk low over the water, and the shore moved further still, and nod myself back into dreams till the boatman’s voice stirs me gently once more. And were he to ask questions, as some say he will, I would answer honestly, for what have I left to hide? I had no wife, though at times I longed for one. Yet I was a good knight who performed his duty to the end. Let me say so, and he will see I do not lie. I will not mind him. The gentle sunset, his shadow falling over me as he moves from one side of his vessel to the other. But this will wait. Today Horace and I must climb below this grey sky, up the barren slope towards the next peak, for our work is unfinished and Querig awaits us.
屠杀婴儿的刽子手。这就是我们那天干的事？那我护送的那位呢，后来她怎么样了？刚才她也在你们当中吗，女士们？我骑马去履行职责，为什么要这样围住我？让一个老人安安静静地去吧。屠杀婴儿的刽子手。但我当时不在场啊，就算在，我和一位伟大的君王争辩，能有什么作用？他还是我舅舅呢。那时候我不过是个年轻的骑士，而且，这么多年过去了，事实不是证明他是正确的吗？你们不是在和平之中慢慢变老的吗？那就让我们上路吧，不要在背后侮辱我们。‘无辜者保护法’真是一部了不起的律法，让人更亲近上帝——亚瑟自己总是这么说，抑或是埃克索阁下说的？那时候我们称他为埃克索勒姆或者埃克索勒斯，可现在他叫埃克索，还有个好妻子。为什么要奚落我呢，女士们？你们悲伤，是我的错吗？我的日子就快到了，我不会回头，像你们那样在大地上流浪。我将心满意足去见船夫，踏上他那艘摇晃的小船，水在四周拍打着，耳朵里传来他划桨的声音，我也许能睡一会儿。我将由熟睡而半醒，看见太阳落在水面，岸越来越远，然后又打盹，回到梦境，直到船夫的声音再次将我轻轻唤醒。如果他要提问——有人说他会这样——那我就诚实回答，我有什么好隐藏的呢？我没有妻子，虽然有时候我渴望有。但我是个好骑士，将自己的职责执行到底。我就这么说吧，他会明白我没有撒谎。我也不会在意他。那温柔的落日，他从船的一边走到另一边，影子落在我身上。但是，这一切还要等一等。今天，我和霍拉斯要在这灰色的天空下上山，爬上那荒凉的山坡，攀上下一座山峰，因为我们的事情还没完成，魁瑞格在等着我们。
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