“Well,” I says.”You can’t, can you? You never have tried to do anything with her,” I says.”How do you expect to begin this late, when she’s seventeen years old?”
“得了，”我说，“您是管不了，您真管得了吗？您从来也不想办法约束约束她，”我说，“迟至今日，她已经十六岁了，您还能把她怎么样？”
“But to have the school authorities think that I have no control over her, that I can’t –“
“可是，让学校当局以为我管不了她，以为我没法 ——”
“But to have them think that… I didn’t even know she had a report card. She told me last fall that they had quit using them this year. And now for Professor Junkin to call me on the telephone and tell me if she’s absent one more time, she will have to leave school. How does she do it? Where does she go? You’re down town all day; you ought to see her if she stays on the streets.”
“不过，让他们以为……我连她拿到了成绩报告单都不知道。去年秋天，她告诉我，学校从今年起不再发成绩单了。可是方才琼金老师给我打了电话，说如果她再旷一次课，就只好叫她退学了。她是怎么逃学的呢？她能上哪儿去呢？你整天都在镇上，要是她在大街上逛来逛去，你总该看见她的吧。”
Once a bitch always a bitch, what I say. I says you’re lucky if her playing out of school is all that worries you. I says she ought to be down there in that kitchen right now, instead of up there in her room, gobbing paint on her face and waiting for six niggers that can’t even stand up out of a chair unless they’ve got a pan full of bread and meat to balance them, to fix breakfast for her. And Mother says,
我总是说，天生是贱坯就永远都是贱坯。我也总是说，要是您操心的光是她逃学的问题，那您还算是有福气的呢。我说，她这会儿应该下楼到厨房里去，而不应该待在楼上的卧室里，往脸上乱抹胭脂，让六个黑鬼来伺候她吃早饭，这些黑鬼若不是肚子里早已塞满了面包皮与肉，连从椅子上挪一下屁股都懒得挪呢。这时候母亲开口了：
She thought about that for a while.
她把我的活琢磨了一会儿。
“I don’t mean anything,” I says.”I just answered your question.” Then she begun to cry again, talking about how her own flesh and blood rose up to curse her.
“没什么意思，”我说。“我只不过是回答您的问题。”这时候她又哭起来，嘟嘟哝哝地说什么连她自己的亲骨肉也诅咒起她来了。
“I don’t mean you,” she says.”You are the only one of them that isn’t a reproach to me.”
“我不是说你，”她说。“你是唯一没让我良心受到谴责的孩子。”
“Yes,” I says.”If she stayed on the streets. I don’t reckon she’d be playing out of school just to do something she could do in public,” I says.
“不错，”我说，“要是她是在街上溜达的话。不过我认为她之所以要逃学，并不是仅仅为了要做什么不怕别人看见的事。”
“I know I’m just a trouble and a burden to you,” she says, crying on the pillow.
“我知道，我只不过是你们的累赘和负担，”她说着说着，就伏在枕头上啜泣了起来。
“What do you mean?” she says.
“你这话是什么意思？”她说。
“I ought to know it,” I says.”You’ve been telling me that for thirty years. Even Ben ought to know it now. Do you want me to say anything to her about it?”
“这我还不清楚吗，”我说。“您说这样的话都说了有三十年了。连班吉这会儿也该明白了。您要不要让我来跟她谈谈这件事呢？”
“You asked me,” I says.
“是您自己要问我的啊，”我说。
“Sure,” I says.”I never had time to be. I never had time to go to Harvard or drink myself into the ground. I had to work. But of course if you want me to follow her around and see what she does, I can quit the store and get a job where I can work at night. Then I can watch her during the day and you can use Ben for the night shift.”
“就是嘛，”我说，“我压根儿没工夫谴责您的良心。我没机会象昆丁那样上哈佛大学，也没时间象爸爸那样，整天醉醉醉直到进入黄泉。我得干活呀。不过当然了，若是您想让我跟踪她，监视她干了什么坏事没有，我可以辞掉店里的差事，找个晚班的活儿。这样，白天我来看着她，夜班嘛您可以叫班①来值。”（注：①班吉的简称）
“I’m afraid you’ll lose your temper with her,” she says.
“我真怕你会跟她大发雷霆，”她说。
“Well,” I says.”You haven’t had much luck with your system. You want me to do anything about it, or not? Say one way or the other; I’ve got to get on to work.”
“好了，”我说，“您那套办法也不大行得通。您到底要我管呢，还是不要？要就说要，不要就拉倒，我还要去上班呢。”
“Remember she’s your own flesh and blood,” she says.
“要知道，她可是你的亲人哪。”她说。
“Not if you come down there interfering just when I get started,” I says.”If you want me to control her, just say so and keep your hands off. Everytime I try to, you come butting in and then she gives both of us the laugh.”
“要是我刚开始您就来插一手，那就不会有任何好处，”我说，“如果您想让我来管束她，您只管吩咐，可是再别插手。每回我刚想管，您就插进来乱搅和，结果是让她把咱们俩都取笑一通。”
“Sure,” I says,”that’s just what I’m thinking of-flesh. And a little blood too, if I had my way. When people act like niggers, no matter who they are the only thing to do is treat them like a nigger.”
“对啊，”我说，“我正好也在这么想－－亲人，还是嫡嫡亲亲的呢，依我说。不过，要是有人行为象黑鬼，那就不管他是谁，你只好拿对付黑鬼的办法来对付他。”
“I know you have to slave your life away for us,” she says.”You know if I had my way, you’d have an office of your own to go to, and hours that became a Bascomb. Because you are a Bascomb, despite your name. I know that if your father could have foreseen –“
“我知道，这么些年来为了我们你受够了罪，”她说。“你明白，当初要是我的计划实现了，你早就有你自己的事务所了，也能象个巴斯康家大少爷似的过上几天了。因为，你虽然不姓巴斯康，你骨子里却是巴斯康家的人。我知道要是你父亲当初能预见 ——”
“Well,” I says,”I reckon he’s entitled to guess wrong now and then, like anybody else, even a Smith or a Jones.” She begun to cry again.
“哼，”我说，“我琢磨他也跟一般人一样，也会有看不准的时候。”她又啜泣起来了。
“Do you think it will do any good?” she says.
“你觉得这会有好处吗？”她说。
“Jason,” she says. I didn’t answer. I went down the hall.”Jason,” she says beyond the door. I went on down stairs. There wasn’t anybody in the diningroom, then I heard her in the kitchen. She was trying to make Dilsey let her have another cup of coffee. I went in.
“杰生，”她说，我没有回答她。我顺着楼上侧道走着。“杰生，”她站在房门背后喊道。我一直往楼下走去。餐厅里一个人也没有。接着我听到了她①在厨房里的声音。她想让迪尔西再给她倒一杯咖啡。我走进厨房。（注：①指小昆丁。）
“I’m afraid you’ll lose your temper with her,” she says.
“我真怕您会跟她大发雷霆，”她说。
“All right,” I says.”I won’t say anything, then.”
“好吧，”我说，“那我什么也不说就是了。”
“All right. I’ll tend to her. Quit crying, now.”
“好吧。我来管她就是了。快别哭了，行了。”
“My own flesh and blood,” she says, crying. So I says,
“她是我的亲骨肉啊、”她说着又哭了起来，于是我就说：
“To hear you speak bitterly of your dead father,” she says.
“你怎么能这么刻薄他讲你死去的父亲？”她说。
“All right,” I says,”all right. Have it your way. But as I haven’t got an office, I’ll have to get on to what I have got. Do you want me to say anything to her?”
“好吧，”我说，“好吧。随您的便吧！既然我没有自己的事务所，我还得去上我的班，当我的差。那么您到底要不要让我跟她谈谈呢？”
“But something must be done,” she says.”To have people think I permit her to stay out of school and run about the streets, or that I can’t prevent her doing it… Jason, Jason,” she says.”How could you. How could you leave me with these burdens.”
“不过总得想点什么法子呀！”她说。“别人会以为我容许她逃学，任她在大街上逛来逛去，要不，以为我拿她没有办法……杰生，杰生，”她说，“你怎么能撇下我不管呢。你怎么能把这么多的包皮袱都扔给我呢。”
“Don’t lose your temper,” she says.”She’s just a child, remember.”
“你可别大发雷霆啊，”她说。“她还是个孩子呢，记住了。”
“No,” I says.”I won’t.” I went out, closing the door.
“不会的，”我说，“我不会的。”我走出屋去，随手带上了门。
“Now, now,” I says.”You’ll make yourself sick. Why don’t you either lock her up all day too, or turn her over to me and quit worrying over her?”
“好了，好了，？我说，“您呆会儿又要把自己折磨得发病了。您要就是整天把她锁在屋里，要就是别再为她操心，把她交 给我。这样做不好吗？”
“No she’s not,” I says.”We’re going to fix that right now.” She looked at me, the cup in her hand. She brushed her hair back from her face, her kimono slipping off her shoulder.”You put that cup down and come in here a minute,” I says.
“不，她不会的，”我说。“我们马上就来把这事安排一下。”她眼睛望着我，手里拿着杯子。她用手把脸上的头发掠到后面去，她的浴衣从肩膀上滑了下来。“你把杯子放下，到这里来一下，”我说。
“Just a half a cup, Dilsey,” she says.”Please.”
“就半杯，迪尔西，”她说。“求求你。”
“No, suh,” Dilsey says.”I ain’t gwine do it. You ain’t got no business wid mo’n one cup, a seventeen year old gal, let lone whut Miss Cahline say. You go on and git dressed for school, so you kin ride to town wid Jason. You fixin to be late again.”
“不行，小姐，”迪尔西说。“我本能给你。一个十七岁的大姑娘，只应该喝一杯，再说卡罗琳小姐也关照过的。你快快吃，穿好上学的制服：就可以搭杰生的车子进城。你这是存心再一次迟到。”
“I reckon that’s your school costume, is it?” I says.”Or maybe today’s a holiday?”
“这敢情是你们学校的制服，是吗？”我说。“要不，也许是今天放假？”
“What for?” she says.
“干什么？”她说。
“Come on,” I says.”Put that cup in the sink and come in here.”
“快点，”我说，“把杯子放在水槽里，到这儿来。”
“What you up to now, Jason?” Dilsey says.
“你又想干什么啦，杰生？”迪尔西说。
“You may think you can run over me like you do your grandmother and everybody else,” I says.”But you’ll find out different. I’ll give you ten seconds to put that cup down like I told you.”
“你也许以为你可以压倒外婆和别的所有的人，也一准可以压倒我，”我说，“可是你错了。我给你十秒钟，让你照我的吩咐把杯子放好。”
She quit looking at me. She looked at Dilsey.”What time is it, Dilsey?” she says.”When it’s ten seconds, you whistle. Just a half a cup. Dilsey, pl –“
她不再看我，而是把眼光转向迪尔西，“现在是什么时候，迪尔西？”她说。“十秒钟到了，你就吹一下口哨。再给我半杯咖啡吧。迪尔西，求－－”
“You, Jason,” she says.
“你啊，杰生，”她说。
“You will, will you?” I says.”You will will you?” She slapped at me. I caught that hand too and held her like a wildcat.”You will, will you?” I says.”You think you will?”
“你要扇，是吗？”我说，“你要扇，是吗？”她一巴掌往我脸上抽来。我把那只手也捉住了，我当她是只野猫，把她紧紧按住。“你要扇，是吗？”我说，“你以为你扇得成吗？”
I grabbed her by the arm. She dropped the cup. It broke on the floor and she jerked back, looking at me, but I held her arm. Dilsey got up from her chair.
我一把抓住她的胳膊。她松开了杯子。杯子跌落到地板上，摔得粉碎。她眼睛盯着我，胳膊往后缩，可是我还是攥得紧紧的。坐在椅子上的迪尔西现在站了起来
“You, Jason!” Dilsey says. I dragged her into the diningroom. Her kimono came unfastened, flapping about her, dam near naked. Dilsey came hobbling along. I turned and kicked the door shut in her face.
“你啊，杰生！”迪尔西说。我把她拖到餐厅里去。她的浴衣松了开来，在身边飘动，里面简直没穿什么衣服。迪尔西趔趔趄趄地走过来。我扭过身子，噔地一脚，把门冲着她的脸关上了。
“You turn me loose,” Quentin says.”I’ll slap you.”
“放开我。”昆丁说，“不然我要扇你一个耳光。”
Quentin was leaning against the table, fastening her kimono. I looked at her.
昆丁倚在餐桌上，在系浴衣的带子。我死死地盯着她。
“You keep out of here,” I says.
“你别进来，”我说。
She didn’t say anything. She was fastening her kimono up under her chin, pulling it tight around her, looking at me. She hadn’t got around to painting herself yet and her face looked like she had polished it with a gun rag. I went and grabbed her wrist.”What do you mean?” I says.
她一言不发。她把浴衣一直扣到脖子底下，把衣服拉紧在身体周围，眼睛盯着我。她还来不及抹胭脂口红，她的脸象是刚用擦槍布擦过似的。我走过去抓住她的手腕。“你这是什么意思？”我说。
“Now,” I says.”I want to know what you mean, playing out of school and telling your grandmother lies and forging her name on your report and worrying her sick. What do you mean by it?”
“好，”我说，“我来问你，你这是什么意思，逃学不算，还向你外婆撒谎，在成绩报告单上假冒她的签名，让你外婆愁得又犯了病。你这是什么意思？”
“Dilsey,” Quentin says.”Dilsey.”
“迪尔西，”昆丁说，“迪尔西。”
Dilsey came in the door.”You, Jason,” she says.
迪尔西走进门来。“嗨，杰生，”她说。
“You — you old goddam!” she says. She fought, but I held her.”You damn old goddam!” she says.
“你－－你这个老混蛋！”她说。她挣扎起来，可是我抓住了她不放。“你这个该死的老混蛋！”她说。
“None of your damn business,” she says.”You turn me loose.”
“不关你的屁事，”她说。“你放开我。”
“You get out of here, like I told you,” I says, not even looking back.”I want to know where you go when you play out of school,” I says.”You keep off the streets, or I’d see you. Who do you play out with? Are you hiding out in the woods with one of those dam slickheaded jellybeans? Is that where you go?”
“你给我出去，听见没有，”我说，连头都没有转过去。“我要知道你逃学的时候待在哪儿？”我说。“你没在街上溜达，否则我会见到你的，你同谁在一起鬼混？是不是跟哪个油头滑脑的坏小子躲在树林子里？你去了没有？”
“I’ll show you,” I says.”You may can scare an old woman off, but I’ll show you who’s got hold of you now.” I held her with one hand, then she quit fighting and watched me, her eyes getting wide and black.
“我要给你点厉害瞧瞧，”我说。“你也许有本事把一个老太婆吓唬走，可是我要让你明白现在是谁在治你。”我用一只手抓住她，这时候，她不再挣扎了，只顾望着我，她那双眼睛瞪得越来越大，乌黑乌黑的。
“What are you going to do?” she says.
“你要干什么？”她说。
“You wait until I get this belt out and I’ll show you,” I says, pulling my belt out. Then Dilsey grabbed my arm.
“你等着，让我把皮带抽出来，然后你就知道了，”我说着，一面把裤带往外抽。这时，迪尔西抓住了我的胳膊。
“Jason,” she says.”You, Jason! Ain’t you shamed of yourself.”
“杰生，”她说，“你啊、杰生！你难道不害臊吗？”
“I ain’t gwine let him,” Dilsey says.”Don’t you worry, honey.” She held to my arm. Then the belt came out and I jerked loose and flung her away. She stumbled into the table. She was so old she couldn’t do any more than move hardly. But that’s all right: we need somebody in the kitchen to eat up the grub the young ones can’t tote off. She came hobbling between us, trying to hold me again.”Hit me, den,” she says,”ef nothin else but hittin somebody won’t do you. Hit me,” she says.
“我不会让他抽你的，”迪尔西说。“你不用害怕，好宝贝。”她抱住了我的胳膊。这时，皮带让我抽出来了，我一使劲把她甩了开去。她跌跌拖撞地倒在桌子上。她太老了，除了还能艰难地走动走动，别的什么也干不了。不过这倒也没什么、反正厨房里需要有个人把年轻人吃剩的东西消灭掉。她又趔趔趄趄地走到我们当中来，只想阻止我。“你要打就打我好了，”她说。“要是你不打人出不了气，那你打我好了，”她说。
“Dilsey,” she says.”Dilsey, I want my mother.”
“迪尔西，”她说，“迪尔西。我要我的妈妈。”
“All right,” I says.”We’ll just put this off a while. But don’t think you can run it over me. I’m not an old woman, nor an old half dead nigger, either. You dam little slut,” I says.
“好吧，”我说，“咱们先把这事搁一搁，只是别以为你能压倒我。我不是老太太，也不是半死不活的黑鬼。你这小騷货！”我说。
“I don’t put no devilment beyond you,” she says. Then I heard Mother on the stairs. I might have known she wasn’t going to keep out of it. I let go. She stumbled back against the wall, holding her kimono shut.
“我反正知道你是什么坏事都干得出来的，”她说。这时候我听到母亲下楼来的声音，我原该料到她是不会袖手旁观的。我松开了手。昆丁踉跟跄跄地朝墙上倒去，一边还在把浴衣拉严。
“You think I won’t?” I says.
“你以为我不敢打？”我说。
“Jason,” she says.”Dilsey.”
“杰生，？她说，“迪尔西。”
Dilsey went to her.”Now, now,” she says.”He ain’t gwine so much as lay his hand on you while Ise here.” Mother came on down the stairs.
迪尔西走到她的身边。“好啦，好啦，”她说，“只要俺在这儿，就不能让他碰你。”母亲继续往楼下走来。
“Now, now,” Dilsey says.”I ain’t gwine let him tech you.” She put her hand on Quentin. She knocked it down.
“好啦，好啦，”迪尔西说，“俺是不会让他碰你的。”她伸出手去抚摩昆丁，昆丁却把她的手打开。
“You damn old nigger,” she says. She ran toward the door.
“你这讨厌的黑老太婆，”她说。她朝门口跑去。
“Dilsey,” Mother says on the stairs. Quentin ran up the stairs, passing her.”Quentin,” Mother says.”You, Quentin.” Quentin ran on. I could hear her when she reached the top, then in the hall. Then the door slammed.
“迪尔西，”母亲在楼梯上喊道。昆丁掠过她的身边，朝楼上跑去。“昆丁，”母亲说，“喂，昆丁。”昆丁还是不停步。我可以听到她上到楼梯口，然后穿过过道的脚步声。最后，房门砰的响了一下。
Mother had stopped. Then she came on. “Dilsey,” she says.
母亲刚才停住了脚步，这时继续往下走。“迪尔西！”她说。
I went on out. I could hear them on the steps.”You go back to bed now,” Dilsey was saying.”Don’t you know you ain’t feeling well enough to git up yet? Go on back, now. I’m gwine to see she gits to school in time.”
我走出房间。我在门口台阶上还能听见她们说话的声音。“您快躺回到床 上去，”迪尔西在说，“您不知道您身体不好，不能起来吗？快给我回去吧，您哪。我会留神让姑娘准时到学堂去的。”
“Don’t you worry,” I says.”I’ll take her to school and I’m going to see that she stays there. I’ve started this thing, and I’m going through with it.”
“这不用你操心，”我说。“我会把她押到学校去的，我还要管着她不让她逃学。这事我管开了头，可就要管到底了。”
“All right,” Dilsey says.”Ise comin. You go on and git dat car and wait now,” she says,”so you kin cahy her to school.”
“哎，”迪尔西说，“俺来了。你去把车开到门口等着吧，”她说，“呆会儿把她带到学校去。”
“Jason,” Mother says on the stairs.
“杰生，”母亲在楼梯上叫道。
“Go on, now,” Dilsey says, going toward the door.”You want to git her started too? Ise comin, Miss Cahline.”
“快去吧，”迪尔西说，一边朝门口走去。“你想让她再犯病吗？俺来了，卡罗琳小姐。”
I went on out the back to back the car out, then I had to go all the way round to the front before I found them.
我到后院去，打算把汽车倒出来，接着我绕了个大圈子一直兜到前门，才总算找到他们①。（注：①指勒斯特与班吉。）
“I thought I told you to put that tire on the back of the car,” I says.
“我不是关照过，让你把备用轮贻安在车后面吗？”我说。
“Yes,” I says.”I feed a whole dam kitchen full of niggers to follow around after him, but if I want an automobile tire changed, I have to do it myself.”
“哼，”我说，“吃饭的时候一厨房都是黑鬼，都得让我养活。你们就光会跟着他满街溜达，等到我想换一只轮贻，就只好我自己动手了。”
“I ain’t had time,” Luster says.”Ain’t nobody to watch him till mammy git done in de kitchen.”
“我没空啊，”勒斯特说，“要等姥姥忙完厨房里的活来看住他，我才能腾出手。”
I went on back to the garage. There was the tire, leaning against the wall, but be damned if I was going to put it on. I backed out and turned around. She was standing by the drive. I says,
我回到后院的车房去。那只轮胎就靠在墙上，不过我自己才不愿意来把它安上呢。我把汽车退出来，掉了个头。她站在车道旁。我说：
“I ain’t had nobody to leave him wid,” he says. Then he begun moaning and slobbering.
“我找不到人替换我呀！”他说。这时候，班吉开始哼哼唧唧起来了。
“Take him on round to the back,” I says.”What the hell makes you want to keep him around here where people can see him?” I made them go on, before he got started bellowing good. It’s bad enough on Sundays, with that dam field full of people that haven’t got a side show and six niggers to feed, knocking a dam oversize mothball around. He’s going to keep on running up and down that fence and bellowing every time they come in sight until first thing I know they’re going to begin charging me golf dues, then Mother and Dilsey’ll have to get a couple of china door knobs and a walking stick and work it out, unless I play at night with a lantern. Then they’d send us all to Jackson, maybe. God knows, they’d hold Old Home week when that happened.
“把他带到后院去，”我说。“你干吗老让他呆在这儿给人家展览啊。”还不等他大声吼叫起来，我就让他们走开。逢到星期天真是够糟糕的，球场上全是没有家丑怕外扬、没有六个黑鬼要养活的人，他们把一只大樟脑丸似的玩意儿打得满场飞。每次他看见他们过来，就会沿着栅栏跑过来跑过去，吼个不停。这样下去，人家非要叫我付球场租费不可，而母亲和迪尔西为了哄班吉，又得找出几只瓷门球和一根手杖来装着打球，要不，就让我晚上下了班点了灯笼来打给班吉看。真要这样，别人没准要把我们全家都送到杰克逊的疯人院去了。天知道，要真有那样的事，人家还会举行“老家周”①来表示庆祝呢。（注：①“Old Home Week”为美国的一种习俗，逢到值得庆祝的事情，邀请原来住在一起的亲友来欢聚一个星期。）
“Mother buys my books,” she says.”There’s not a cent of your money on me. I’d starve first.”
“是妈妈出钱给我买书的！”她说。“你的钱我一个子儿也没有用。如果有一天真的要用你的钱，我宁愿饿死。”
“I know you haven’t got any books: I just want to ask you what you did with them, if it’s any of my business. Of course I haven’t got any right to ask,” I says.”I’m just the one that paid $11.65 for them last September.”
“我知道你课本一本也没有了。我倒很想知道你把那些书弄到哪儿去了？也许你会嫌我多管闲事。当然，我没有什么资格来过问，我说，“不过，去年九月为这些书付了十一元六角五分的可是我。”
“Yes?” I says.”You tell your grandmother that and see what she says. You don’t look all the way naked,” I says,”even if that stuff on your face does hide more of you than anything else you’ve got on.”
“是吗？”我说。“这些话你到外婆跟前说去，看她有什么反应，你看来并没有光着身子不穿衣服嘛，”我说，“虽说你脸上涂的那玩意儿遮住的地方比全身的衣服遮住的还多一些。”
“Do you know what I’d do if I thought your money or hers either bought one cent of this?” she says, putting her hand on her dress.
“要是这些衣服真的用了你或是外婆一分钱，你知道我要怎么干？”她说，一面把一只手按在衣服上。
“Do you think your money or hers either paid for a cent of this?” she says.
“你以为这些东西花过你或是外婆一分钱吗？”，
“Ask your grandmother,” I says.”Ask her what became of those checks. You saw her burn one of them, as I remember.” She wasn’t even listening, with her face all gummed up with paint and her eyes hard as a fice dog’s.
“问你外婆去！”我说。“问她那些支票都怎么样了。据我记得，你还亲眼见到她烧掉一张呢。”她根本没在听，她胭脂涂得那么厚，简直把脸都粘住不能动了，眼睛也象恶犬那样，直愣愣地瞪着。
“What would you do?” I says.”Wear a barrel?”
“要怎么干？”我说，“难道不穿衣服，钻在一只桶里？”
“I’d tear it right off and throw it into the street,” she says.”Don’t you believe me?”
“我会马上把衣服全撕下来，把它们扔在街上！”她说。“你不信？”
“Sure you would,” I says.”You do it every time.”
“你当然是做得出来的，”我说。“你哪一回都是这么干的。”
“See if I don’t,” she says. Then I saw that she really was trying to tear it, to tear it right off of her. By the time I got the car stopped and grabbed her hands there was about a dozen people looking. It made me so mad for a minute it kind of blinded me.
“你说我不敢，”她说。这时我看到她真的要撕，真是要把衣服全撕下来了。等我停下车子，抓住她的手，已经有十来个人在围观了。我火冒三丈，一刹那间简直什么都看不见了。
“You tear that dress,” I says,”and I’ll give you a whipping right here that you’ll remember all your life.”
“你敢撕，”我说，“我马上就给你一顿鞭子，让你终生难忘。”
“See if I wouldn’t,” she says. She grabbed the neck of her dress in both hands and made like she would tear it.
“你以为我不敢，”他说。她双手抓住衣领，仿佛马上就要撕了。
“I’m sorry now,” she says. She quit, then her eyes turned kind of funny and I says to myself if you cry here in this car, on the street, I’ll whip you. I’ll wear you out. Lucky for her she didn’t, so I turned her wrists loose and drove on. Luckily we were near an alley, where I could turn into the back street and dodge the square. They were already putting the tent up in Beard’s lot. Earl had already given me the two passes for our show windows. She sat there with her face turned away, chewing her lip.”I’m sorry now,” she says.”I don’t see why I was ever born.”
“我现在已经在后悔了！”她说。她疯劲儿过去了，接着她的眼神变得很古怪，我在心里说，要是你这丫头在这辆汽车里哭，在大街上哭，我也要抽你。我要把你打得不剩一口气。幸亏她没有哭，于是我松开了她的手腕，驱车前进。幸好我们附近有一条小巷，我从那里拐进了后街，以免从广场经过。人家已经在比德①家的空地上支起了帐篷。戏班子为了要在我们的橱窗里贴海报，给店里送了两张招待券，艾尔②把两张都给了我。昆丁坐在车子里，扭过头去，在咬自己的嘴唇。“我现在已经在后悔了！”她说。“我不明白自己为什么要出生到这个世界上来。”（注：①杰弗主镇上的一户人家，戏班子的大帐这就搭在他家的空地上。②杂货店的老板，杰生的东家。）
“You do a thing like that again and I’ll make you sorry you ever drew breath,” I says.
“你再那样做，我就会让你后悔你来到人世！”我说、
“And they all know it, too,” I says.”Everybody in this town knows what you are. But I won’t have it anymore, you hear? I don’t care what you do, myself,” I says.”But I’ve got a position in this town, and I’m not going to have any member of my family going on like a nigger wench. You hear me?”
“你的所作所为是众所周知的，”我说。“镇上每一个人都清楚你是个什么东西。可是我不许你再那样干，听见没有？就我个人来说，你怎么干我根本不在乎，可是我在这个镇上是有地位的，我可不能让我家里的任何人象黑人騷妞那样乱来。你听见我的活没有？”
She turned back at that.”I don’t slip around,” she says.”I dare anybody to know everything I do.”
她听到这活扭过头来。“我没有到处溜达，”她说。“我的所作所为，你尽管去调查好了。”
“And I know of at least one other person that don’t understand all he knows about that,” I says. I stopped in front of the school house. The bell had rung, and the last of them were just going in.”You’re on time for once, anyway,” I says.”Are you going in there and stay there, or am I coming with you and make you?” She got out and banged the door.”Remember what I say,” I says.”I mean it. Let me hear one more time that you are slipping up and down back alleys with one of those dam squirts.”
“就我所知，至少还有一个人也不明白为什么！”我说。我在学校门前停了车。上课铃刚打过，最后来到的几个学生正在往里走、“你总算也有一次没有迟到，”我说。“你是自己走进去在课堂里坐好呢，还是得让我送进去逼你坐好？”她走出汽车，砰的一声失上车门。“记住我说的活！”我说。“我是说话算数的。要是你再让我听说你逃学，跟哪个油头小光棍在后街溜达……”
“I don’t care,” she says.”I’m bad and I’m going to hell, and I don’t care. I’d rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.”
“我不管，”她说，“我很坏，我反正是要下地狱的，我不在乎。我宁愿下地狱，也不愿和你待在同一个地方。”
“If I hear one more time that you haven’t been to school, you’ll wish you were in hell,” I says. She turned and ran on across the yard.”One more time, remember,” I says. She didn’t look back.
“只要再有一次让我听说你逃学，你就会希望自己还是在地狱里的好，”我说。她把头一扭，跑着穿过校门口那片空地。“只要再有一次，你记住了，”我说。她连头都不回过来。
“Those cultivators have come. You’d better help Uncle Job put them up.”
“那批中耕机到货了。你最好去帮约伯大叔，把它们安装好。”
I went to the postoffice and got the mail and drove on to the store and parked. Earl looked at me when I came in. I gave him a chance to say something about my being late, but he just said,
我上邮局去，取了信件，接着就开车来到店门口，把车停好。我进店时，艾尔瞅着我。我给他一个机会，让他可以埋怨我迟到，可是他光是说：
I went on to the back, where old Job was uncrating them, at the rate of about three bolts to the hour.
我来到后院，老约伯正在那儿拆板条箱，用的是一小时拧松三个螺栓的速度。
“You’d better be glad you’re not a boll-weevil waiting on those cultivators,” I says.”You’d work yourself to death before they’d be ready to prevent you.”
“你真该庆幸自己不是这些中耕机要对付的象鼻虫，”我说，“否则，它们没把你碾死，你自己也会吃棉花累死。”
“I works to suit de man whut pays me Sat’dy night,” he says.”When I does dat, it don’t leave me a whole lot of time to please other folks.” He screwed up a nut.”Ain’t nobody works much in dis country cep de boll-weevil, noways,” he says.
“俺就只给星期六晚上给俺发工资的人卖力气，”他说。“我顾了这一头，就再没工夫讨别人的喜欢了。”他拧开了一个螺帽。“这个鬼地方，除了象鼻虫①谁干起活来都是松松垮垮的，”他说。（注：①一种棉花害虫。）
“You ought to be working for me,” I says.”Every other no-count nigger in town eats in my kitchen.”
“你真是应该给我们家干活的，”我说。“镇上每一个不中用的黑鬼都在我的厨房里吃白饭呢。”
“Dat’s de troof,” he says.”Boll-weevil got tough time. Work ev’y day in de week out in de hot sun, rain er shine. Ain’t got no front porch to set on en watch de wattermilyuns growin and Sat’dy don’t mean nothin a-tall to him.”
“这话不假，”他说，“象鼻虫也够辛苦的。出太陽也罢下雨也罢，一星期七天天天都得在毒日头下干活。也不能坐在前廊上看西瓜的长势，星期六对它们来说一点儿意思都没有。”
I opened her letter first and took the check out. Just like a woman. Six days late. Yet they try to make men believe that they’re capable of conducting a business. How long would a man that thought the first of the month came on the sixth last in business. And like as not, when they sent the bank statement out, she would want to know why I never deposited my salary until the sixth. Things like that never occur to a woman.
我先拆开她的信，把支票取出来。女人毕竟是女人，又晚了六天。可是她们还总想要让男人相信她们是能够办事的。换了男人，要是把一个月的第六天看作是第一天，你想他的买卖还能维持多久？怪事还不止这一桩，等他们把银行结单寄过去时，她还想了解为什么我总要到六号才把我的薪水存进去。女人是从来也弄不明白个中的缘由的。
“Saturday wouldn’t mean nothing to you, either,” I says,”if it depended on me to pay you wages. Get those things out of the crates now and drag them inside.”
“换了我来给你开工资，”我说，“星期六也不会有什么意思的。你赶快把机器从板条箱里搬出来，拖到店堂里去吧。”
“I had no answer to my letter about Quentin’s easter dress. Did it arrive all right? I’ve had no answer to the last two letters I wrote her, though the check in the second one was cashed with the other check. Is she sick? Let me know at once or I’ll come there and see for myself. You promised you would let me know when she needed things. I will expect to hear from you before the 10th. No you’d better wire me at once. You are opening my letters to her. I know that as well as if I were looking at you. You’d better wire me at once about her to this address.”
我曾去信提起昆丁的复活节新衣服，但未收到回信。衣服收到无误否？我也没有收到她对我上两次去信的回信。虽然第二封信中的支票和第一封信中那张一样，都已兑了现。她有没有生病？盼立刻示知，否则我就要亲自来探望她了。你答应过若是她有什么需要你会通知我的，我希望你在十号之前能写信告诉我。不，你还是立即打电报给我为好。你现在准是正在拆看我写给她的信。这我很清楚，就象我亲眼见到的一样。你最好按下面的地址立即打电报把她的情况告诉我。
About that time Earl started yelling at Job, so I put them away and went over to try to put some life into him. What this country needs is white labor. Let these dam trifling niggers starve for a couple of years, then they’d see what a soft thing they have.
就在这时候，艾尔对着约伯大叫大嚷，于是我把信放好，跑出去让约伯打起点精神，别那么半死不活的，这个国家应该多多雇佣白人劳工。让这些没用的黑鬼挨上两年饿，他们就会明白自己是些何等无用的松包皮了。
“There’s nothing to it,” I says.”Cotton is a speculator’s crop. They fill the farmer full of hot air and get him to raise a big crop for them to whipsaw on the market, to trim the suckers with. Do you think the farmer gets anything out of it except a red neck and a hump in his back? You think the man that sweats to put it into the ground gets a red cent more than a bare living,” I says.”Let him make a big crop and it won’t be worth picking; let him make a small crop and he won’t have enough to gin. And what for? so a bunch of dam eastern jews I’m not talking about men of the jewish religion,” I says.”I’ve known some jews that were fine citizens. You might be one yourself,” I says.
“种地啥好处也没有，”我说，“棉花成了商人投机的对象。他们让农民怀着很大的希望，哄农民多种棉花，好让他们自己在市场上兴风作浪，挤垮外行的新手，你倒说说看，农民除了晒红了脖梗，压弯了腰，还能捞到什么？你以为辛辛苦苦种地的除了糊口，还能多拿到一分钱吗？”我说。“种多了，价钱贱，棉花连摘都不值得，种少了呢，棉花连喂轧棉子机都不够。再说又是为了什么呢？光为了一小撮混蛋透顶的东部犹太人，我倒不是指那些信犹太教的人，”我说，“我也认识一些犹太人，都是些满不错的公民。没准你就是这样的人吧，”我说。
Along toward ten o’clock I went up front. There was a drummer there. It was a couple of minutes to ten, and I invited him up the street to get a dope. We got to talking about crops.
快到十点钟的时候，我跑到前面去。店堂里有一个旅行推销商。还差两分钟就要敲十点了，我请他上街去喝一瓶可口可乐。我们聊聊就聊到收成这上头来了。
“No offense,” I says.”I give every man his due, regardless of religion or anything else. I have nothing against jews as an individual,” I says.”It’s just the race. You’ll admit that they produce nothing. They follow the pioneers into a new country and sell them clothes.”
“你可别见怪，”我说。“我平等对待每一个人，不论他宗教信仰如何，别的方面又是如何。犹太人作为个人，我并不反对，”我说。“这不过是个种族问题。你得承认他们什么也不生产。他们尾随着拓荒者来到一个新的国家，然后卖衣服给他们、赚他们的钱。”
“No,” he says.”I’m an American.”
“不，”他说，“我可是地地道道的美国人。”
“Sure,” he says.”I’m an American. My folks have some French blood, why I have a nose like this. I’m an American, all right.”
“自然啦，”他说。“我是一个地地道道的美国人。我祖上有点法国人血统，这就是我的鼻子长成这样的原因。我是个美国人，没错儿。
“You’re thinking of Armenians,” he says,”aren’t you. A pioneer wouldn’t have any use for new clothes.”
“你指的是亚美尼亚人吧，”他说，“对不对？反正拓荒者也没有必要穿新衣服。”
“That’s right,” he says.”Nothing to gambling, for a poor man. There ought to be a law against it.”
“一点不错，”他说。“穷人是不能玩这种把戏的。应该有一条法律禁止这种行为。”
“No offense,” I says.”I don’t hold a man’s religion against him.”
“你可别见怪，”我说。“我并不反对任何一个人的宗教信仰。”
“Yes,” he says.”I guess you’re right. The farmer catches it coming and going.”
“有道理，”他说，“我觉得你是对的。农民不管怎么样总是吃亏。”
“Don’t you think I’m right?” I says.
“你说我的活有没有道理？”我说。
“So am I,” I says.”Not many of us left. What I’m talking about is the fellows that sit up there in New York and trim the sucker gamblers.”
“我也是地道的美国人，”我说。“咱们这样的人剩下的不多了。我方才骂的是那些坐在纽约专玩大鱼吃小鱼的把戏的人。”
“I know I’m right,” I says.”It’s a sucker game, unless a man gets inside information from somebody that knows what’s going on. I happen to be associated with some people who’re right there on the ground. They have one of the biggest manipulators in New York for an adviser. Way I do it,” I says,”I never risk much at a time. It’s the fellow that thinks he knows it all and is trying to make a killing with three dollars that they’re laying for. That’s why they are in the business.”
“我当然是对的，”我说。“玩这种把戏是非输不可的，除非你能从知道内幕的人那里打听到秘密情报。我倒是恰好认得几个人，他们就是干这个买卖的、他们有纽约一家很大的投机公司给他们当参谋。我这个人的作风是，”我说，“从不把宝押在一个地方。人家等着要搜刮干净的就是那种只有三块钱却想赢个满堂红的人。人家干这个买卖就是专门从这些人身上捞好处的。”
Then it struck ten. I went up to the telegraph office. It opened up a little, just like they said. I went into the corner and took out the telegram again, just to be sure. While I was looking at it a report came in. It was up two points. They were all buying. I could tell that from what they were saying. Getting aboard. Like they didn’t know it could go but one way. Like there was a law or something against doing anything but buying. Well, I reckon those eastern jews have got to live too. But I’ll be damned if it hasn’t come to a pretty pass when any dam foreigner that can’t make a living in the country where God put him, can come to this one and take money right out of an American’s pockets. It was up two points more. Four points. But hell, they were right there and knew what was going on. And if I wasn’t going to take the advice, what was I paying them ten dollars a month for. I went out, then I remembered and came back and sent the wire.”All well. Q writing today.”
这时候，时钟打响了十下。我上电报局去。电报局门刚开了一条缝，象人们常说的那样。我走到墙角，把电报又拿出来，为的是要核实一下。我正在看电报，来了一份商情报告。市价上涨了两“点”①，大伙儿都在吃进，从他们说话的营营声里我也能听出这个意思。大家都在纷纷往船上挤。好象不明白这条船是在往毁灭的道路上走似的。好象有那么一条法律或是成文规定，除了买进别的都是不允许的。是的，我琢磨那些东部的犹太佬敢情也得过日子。可是，随便哪个臭外国人只要在自己的老家混不下去就可以上美国来谋生，从美国人的口袋里往外掏钱，这种局面真叫人难受啊。又上涨了两“点”。这就是四“点”了。不过他娘的，我那些参谋是对的，是懂行的。要是我不采纳他们的意见，我干吗还要一个月付他们十块钱呢。我走出电报局，可是想起了那件事，就走回去打电报。“平安无事。Q②今日即去信。”（注：①原文为point，是证券、商品市场价格的计算单位，亦译作“磅音”。②这是打给凯蒂的电报，“Q”指小昆丁。）
“Yes,” I says.”Q. Can’t you spell Q?”
“对，”我说，“Q。你难道不会写Q？”
“Q?” the operator says.
“Q？”报务员说。
“I just asked to be sure,” he says.
“我不过想问问清楚，”他说。
“You send it like I wrote it and I’ll guarantee you to be sure,” I says.”Send it collect.”
“你照我写的发好了，准保没错，”我说。“让收件人付款。”
“What you sending, Jason?” Doc Wright says, looking over my shoulder.”Is that a code message to buy?”
“你打什么电报呀，杰生？”赖特大夫③说，眼光越过我的肩磅扫了过来。“是关照‘吃进’的密码电报吗？”（注：③这是当地一个做棉花投机生意的人。）
“Well, I ought to,” Doc says.”I’d a saved money this year raising it at two cents a pound.”
“哦，当然罗，”大夫说，“要是每磅棉花涨上两分，我今年可以攒一大笔钱了。”
“That’s all right about that,” I says.”You boys use your own judgment. You know more about it than those New York folks do.”
“就算是吧，”我说。“不过，你们哥儿们自己动脑子判断吧。你们可比那些纽约人还要精明呀。”
Another report came in. It was down a point.
又来了新的行情。下跌了一“点”。
I went on back to the store. Earl was busy up front. I went on back to the desk and read Lorraine’s letter. “Dear daddy wish you were here. No good parties when daddys out of town I miss my sweet daddy.” I reckon she does. Last time I gave her forty dollars. Gave it to her. I never promise a woman anything nor let her know what I’m going to give her. That’s the only way to manage them. Always keep them guessing. If you can’t think of any other way to surprise them, give them a bust in the jaw.
我走回到店里去。艾尔在前面店堂里忙着、我一直走到柜台里面的写字台旁；看洛仑②的来信。“好爹爹，真希望你在我的身边。好爹爹不在这里，大伙儿的聚会也没劲儿．我多想念我的好宝贝爹爹呀。”我琢磨她也真该想念我了。上回我给了她四十块钱呢。给了她四十。我从不对一个女人作任何许诺，也从不让她知道我打算送给她什么东西。这是对付女人的唯一办法。老吊她们的胃口。如果你想不出什么别的招数让她们大吃一惊，那就照准她们下巴来那么一拳好了。（注：②洛仑是杰生的情妇，住在孟菲斯。）
“That’s all right about what I’m doing,” I says.”You boys follow your own judgment. Those rich New York jews have got to live like everybody else,” I says.
“我怎么干你们别管，”我说。“你们哥儿们自己判断吧。反正纽约的那些犹太阔佬跟别人一样，好歹也得过日子呗，”我说。
“Jason’s selling,” Hopkins says.”Look at his face.”
“杰生是在抛出呀，”霍布金斯①说。“你们看他的表情。”（注：①经常呆在电报局的一个游手好闲的人。）
“When’ll that be?” she says.
“那么什么时候？”她说。
“What?” I says.
“什么？”我说。
“I’ll let you know,” I says. Then she tried to buy a beer, but I wouldn’t let her.”Keep your money,” I says.”Buy yourself a dress with it.” I gave the maid a five, too. After all, like I say money has no value; it’s just the way you spend it. It don’t belong to anybody, so why try to hoard it. It just belongs to the man that can get it and keep it. There’s a man right here in Jefferson made a lot of money selling rotten goods to niggers, lived in a room over the store about the size of a pigpen, and did his own cooking. About four or five years ago he was taken sick. Scared the hell out of him so that when he was up again he joined the church and bought himself a Chinese missionary, five thousand dollars a year. I often think how mad he’ll be if he was to die and find out there’s not any heaven, when he thinks about that five thousand a year. Like I say, he’d better go on and die now and save money.
“我会告诉你的，”我说。这时她要去买一杯啤酒，可是我不让她去买。“把钱留着吧，”我说，“用这笔钱给自己添一件衣服。”我也给了女佣人一张五元的钞票。说穿了，正如我常说的，钱本身是没有价值的，问题在于看你怎么花。钱不属于哪一个人的。费尽心思去攒钱是犯不着的。钱仅仅是属于命中注定会赚钱会存钱的那些人的。就在这儿杰弗生，有那么一个人，他靠卖霉烂的东西给黑鬼挣了一大笔钱。他住在店堂楼上，房间小得象猪圈，还自己做饭。四五年前他突然病了。他怕极了，等病好能起床，他成了个好教徒，捐钱资助一个传教士去中国传教，每年五千元。我常常琢磨，要是他死后发现根本没有天堂，又想起每年捐的五千块饯，那还不把他气疯了。正如我所说的，他还不如继续害怕下去，这会儿就死掉，把钱省下来呢。
I tore it up and burned it over the spittoon. I make it a rule never to keep a scrap of paper bearing a woman’s hand, and I never write them at all. Lorraine is always after me to write to her but I says anything I forgot to tell you will save till I get to Memphis again but I says I don’t mind you writing me now and then in a plain envelope, but if you ever try to call me up on the telephone, Memphis won’t hold you I says. I says when I’m up there I’m one of the boys, but I’m not going to have any woman calling me on the telephone. Here I says, giving her the forty dollars. If you ever get drunk and take a notion to call me on the phone, just remember this and count ten before you do it.
我把信撕碎，在痰盂上点火烧掉。我给自己立下一个原则：绝对不保留女人给我的片纸只字，我也从不给她们写信。洛仑老是纠缠不休要我给她写信，可是我说要是有什么忘了没说，下回来孟菲斯再说也不迟，不过我说，要是你过上一阵用普通的信封给我写上几行倒也无所谓，万一你真的打电活给我，那么对不起，以孟菲斯之大也会客不下你这个小女人的。我说我上你这儿来只不过是来玩女人的哥儿们中的上个，我可不允许有任何女人打电话我我。给，我说，一面递给她四十块钱，要是你什么时候酒喝多了胡 思乱想，要打电话给我，你就记住我的话，在拨号码之前先从一数到十，好好考虑考虑。
“When you’re coming back,” she says.
“你什么时候再来？”她说。
“You’d better take that good one,” I says.”How do you fellows ever expect to get ahead, trying to work with cheap equipment?”
“你还是买质量高的那种好，”我说，“你们不肯花本钱买好的装备，又指望收成比别人好，那怎么办得到呢？”
When it was burned good I was just about to shove the others into my coat when all of a sudden something told me to open Quentin’s before I went home, but about that time Earl started yelling for me up front, so I put them away and went and waited on the dam redneck while he spent fifteen minutes deciding whether he wanted a twenty cent hame string or a thirty-five cent one.
信烧得千干净净之后，我正要把其它的信都塞进外套口袋，突然某种预感告诉我应该在回家前把给昆丁的信拆开，可是正在这时，艾尔在大声叫我了，我只好把东西放下到前面去伺候那个该死的乡下佬，这个土老儿足足花了十五分钟，还不能决定到底买二角钱的马轭绳呢还是买三角五的。
“If this one ain’t any good,” he says,”why have you got it on sale?”
“要是这种货色质量不好，”他说，“那你们干吗要放在这儿卖？”
“Because they don’t ask thirty-five cents for it,” I says.”That’s how I know it’s not as good.”
“因为它定价不是三角五分。”我说。“我就凭这一点。”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t any good,” I says.”I said it’s not as good as that other one.”
“我也没有说这种不好，”我说，“我只不过是说不如那种。”
“How do you know it’s not,” he says.”You ever use airy one of them?”
“你又怎么知道它不如那种好呢？”他说，“莫非你都用过吗？”
He held the twenty cent one in his hands, drawing it through his fingers.”I reckon I’ll take this hyer one,” he says. I offered to take it and wrap it, but he rolled it up and put it in his overalls. Then he took out a tobacco sack and finally got it untied and shook some coins out. He handed me a quarter.”That fifteen cents will buy me a snack of dinner,” he says.
他把二角钱的那种拿在手里，从手指间抽过去，“我看我还是买这一种，”他说。我要拿过来给他包皮好，他却把绳子绕好、塞到工作服口袋里去了。接着他掏出一只烟荷包皮，弄了半天终于解开了上面的带子，抖出几只硬币。他递给我一只二毛五的。“那一角五还可以让我凑和吃一顿午饭呢，”他说。
“All right,” I says.”You’re the doctor. But don’t come complaining to me next year when you have to buy a new outfit.”
“好吧，”我说。“你最高明。不过明年你又得买一条马轭绳时别怨我。”
“I ain’t makin next year’s crop yit,” he says. Finally I got rid of him, but every time I took that letter out something would come up. They were all in town for the show, coming in in droves to give their money to something that brought nothing to the town and wouldn’t leave anything except what those grafters in the Mayor’s office will split among themselves, and Earl chasing back and forth like a hen in a coop, saying “Yes, ma’am, Mr Compson will wait on you. Jason, show this lady a churn or a nickel’s worth of screen hooks.”
“我明年的庄稼怎么种，现在还没有谱呢。”他说。我终于把他打发走了，可是每回我把信拿出来，总有什么事发生。为了看演出，四乡的人们都到镇上来了，他们成群结队地来，来花钱，这钱不会给镇子带来什么好处，也不会给镇子留下什么东西，除了给镇长办公室里的那些赃官，他们眼看就要分孝敬钱了。艾尔忙得团 团 转，象鸡埘里的一只母鸡，嘴里念念有词地说：“是的太太，康普生先生会来伺候您的。杰生，给这位太太拿个炼黄油的搅拌筒，再拿五分钱百叶窗钩子。”
Well, Jason likes work. I says no I never had university advantages because at Harvard they teach you how to go for a swim at night without knowing how to swim and at Sewanee they don’t even teach you what water is. I says you might send me to the state University; maybe I’ll learn how to stop my clock with a nose spray and then you can send Ben to the Navy I says or to the cavalry anyway, they use geldings in the cavalry. Then when she sent Quentin home for me to feed too I says I guess that’s right too, instead of me having to go way up north for a job they sent the job down here to me and then Mother begun to cry and I says it’s not that I have any objection to having it here; if it’s any satisfaction to you I’ll quit work and nurse it myself and let you and Dilsey keep the flour barrel full, or Ben. Rent him out to a sideshow; there must be folks somewhere that would pay a dime to see him, then she cried more and kept saying my poor afflicted baby and I says yes he’ll be quite a help to you when he gets his growth not being more than one and a half times as high as me now and she says she’d be dead soon and then we’d all be better off and so I says all right, all right, have it your way. It’s your grandchild, which is more than any other grandparents it’s got can say for certain. Only I says it’s only a question of time. If you believe she’ll do what she says and not try to see it, you fool yourself because the first time that was the Mother kept on saying thank God you are not a Compson except in name, because you are all I have left now, you and Maury and I says well I could spare Uncle Maury myself and then they came and said they were ready to start. Mother stopped crying then. She pulled her veil down and we went down stairs. Uncle Maury was coming out of the diningroom, his handkerchief to his mouth. They kind of made a lane and we went out the door just in time to see Dilsey driving Ben and T. P. back around the corner. We went down the steps and got in. Uncle Maury kept saying Poor little sister, poor little sister, talking around his mouth and patting Mother’s hand. Talking around whatever it was.
是啊，杰生喜欢跑跑颠颠地伺候人。我说我可不喜欢，我从来没有上大学的福份，因为在哈佛他们教你如何在黑夜游泳，可是自己连普普通适的泳都不会游。而在西华尼①呢，他们连水是什么都不教你。我说，你们还不如把我送进州立大学呢；没准我能学会如何用治疗鼻子的喷雾器来弄停自己的钟，依我说，你们也可以把班送进海军，反正进骑兵是不会错的，因为骑兵队里是要用骟过的马的。后来，当她把小昆丁送回家也要我来养时，我说这大概没什么问题，不用我赶到北方去找活干，活几倒找上门来了。这时候母亲哭了起来，我说倒不是我反对孩子放在这儿抚养：只要您高兴，我辞掉差事亲自带孩子也可以，不过负责让面粉桶保持常满可是您和迪尔西的事了，还有班。还是把他租给哪个马戏班子去作展品吧；世界这么大，总有人愿出一毛钱来看他的。我说到这里母亲哭得更厉害了，嘴里不断地念叨说我苦命的孩儿啊，我说是啊，等他长足了，而不是象现在这样只有我一个半人那么高，那他就可以大大地帮您的忙了，这时她又说她很快就会不在人世了，到那时我们的日子就会好过了。于是我说，好吧，好吧，随您怎么办吧。她是您的外孙女，在她的爷爷奶奶外公外婆中间，只有您一个人的身份是清楚的。只不过，我说，这只不过是个时间的问题。如果您相信她的保证，以为她不会来看孩子，那您就是自己骗自己，因为第一口那……母亲不断地说感谢上帝你除了姓康普生之外别的地方都不象康普生家的人，因为你现在是我在世界上唯一所有的一切了，你和毛莱两个人就是我唯一的一切了，于是我说就我自己而论倒是可以不让毛莱舅舅陪我一起受罪的，这时候人们走来说可以动身了。母亲就停住不哭了。她把面纱拉了下来，我们走下楼梯。这时，毛莱舅舅正从饭厅里走出来，他用子帕捂住了自己的嘴。他们大致排成夹道似的两行，我们走出门口刚刚赶上看到迪尔西把班和T·P·从屋角那边赶到后边去。我们走下台阶，上了马车。毛莱舅舅不断地说可怜的小姐姐，可怜的小姐姐，他的声音是从嘴角发出来的，一面讲一面在母亲的手上拍着。他嘴里念念有词，也听不清楚在讲些什么。（注：①在田纳西州，该地有著名的南方大学。）
“Other women have their children to support them in times like this,” Mother says.
“在这样的时刻，别的女人都会有自己的孩子来支持她的。”母亲说。
“There, there,” Uncle Maury says, patting her hand, talking around his mouth.”It’s better so. Let him be unaware of bereavement until he has to.”
“好了，好了，”毛莱舅舅说，一边拍她的手，从嘴角发出声音。“还是这样好些。先别让他知道丧父之痛，等到不得不知道时再说。”
“Have you got your band on?” she says.”Why don’t they go on, before Benjamin comes out and makes a spectacle. Poor little boy. He doesn’t know. He can’t even realise.”
“你戴黑袖纱了吗？”母亲说。“他们干吗还不动身呢，一会儿班吉明出来又有一番热闹了。可怜的孩子。他还不知道，还不明白是怎么回事呢。”
“You have Jason and me,” he says.
“你不是有杰生和我吗？”他说。
“There, there,” he says. After a while he kind of sneaked his hand to his mouth and dropped them out the window. Then I knew what I had been smelling. Clove stems. I reckon he thought that the least he could do at Father’s or maybe the sideboard thought it was still Father and tripped him up when he passed. Like I say, if he had to sell something to send Quentin to Harvard we’d all been a dam sight better off if he’d sold that sideboard and bought himself a one-armed strait jacket with part of the money. I reckon the reason all the Compson gave out before it got to me like Mother says, is that he drank it up. At least I never heard of him offering to sell anything to send me to Harvard.
“好了，好了。”他说。过了一会儿他偷偷地把一只手掩在晚上，又把手里的东西往窗子外面扔去。这时我才明白我方才闻到的是什么东西的气味。原来是丁香梗③。我琢磨，他以为这是在父亲的葬仪上他至少能做到的事吧，也许酒柜把舅父当作是父亲，所以在他走过的时候绊了他一脚吧。就象我所说的，如果他。为了送昆丁去上哈佛大学而不得不变卖什么时、把这个酒柜卖掉了，并且用一部分钱给自己买一件只有一只袖筒的紧身衣④，那我们倒都可以好过得多呢。我看还没等我拿到手康普生家的产业就全部败光了的原因，正如母亲所说的，就是他把钱全喝掉了，反正我没听说他讲过为了让我上哈佛而变卖什么产业。（注：③人们喝酒后嚼丁香梗以消除酒气。④一种给疯子穿的限制其行动自由 的衣服。
“It’s so terrible to me,” she says.”Having the two of them like this, in less than two years.”
“对我来说这真是太可怕了，”她说，“不到两年就失去了两个亲人②。”（注：②昆丁于1910年自杀，康音生先生死于1912年。）
So he kept on patting her hand and saying “Poor little sister”, patting her hand with one of the black gloves that we got the bill for four days later because it was the twenty-sixth because it was the same day one month that Father went up there and got it and brought it home and wouldn’t tell anything about where she was or anything and Mother crying and saying “And you didn’t even see him? You didn’t even try to get him to make any provision for it?” and Father says “No she shall not touch his money not one cent of it” and Mother says “He can be forced to by law. He can prove nothing, unless — Jason Compson,” she says.”Were you fool enough to tell –“
就这样，舅父不断地拍她的手，一边说：“可怜的小姐姐。”他用一只黑手套来拍她。那副手套四天之后我们收到了账单，因为这天是二十六号。因为一个月前的这一天，父亲上那儿去把她带了回来，父亲一句也不告诉我们她②在哪儿，情况怎样，当时母亲一边哭一边说：“难道你连见都没见到他③吗？难道你压根儿没有想办法让他出点赡养费吗？”父亲说：“没有，她是不会碰他的钱的，连一分钱也不会要的。”于是母亲就说：“应该让法律来使他就范，他什么也不能证明，除非——杰生·康普生④啊，”她说，“你难道愚蠢到这个地步，居然去告诉——”（注：②指凯蒂，前面的“她”指小昆丁。③指凯蒂的丈夫悉德尼·赫伯特·海德。他知道凯蒂婚前行为不端后，抛弃了她。④这里的“杰生·康普生”是康普生先生。）
“Well, they brought my job home tonight” because all the time we kept hoping they’d get things straightened out and he’d keep her because Mother kept saying she would at least have enough regard for the family not to jeopardise my chance after she and Quentin had had theirs.
“哼，他们今儿晚上倒真的把工作安排到我家里来了。”因为一段时间以来我们一直在指望凯蒂跟她丈夫会把事情安排妥当的，他也会抚养凯蒂的，因为母亲老是说凯蒂至少对家庭还是有点感情，在她自己跟小昆丁有了出路之后，总不见得会跟我过不去，不让我有点儿机会的。
“Hush, Caroline,” Father says, then he sent me to help Dilsey get that old cradle out of the attic and I says.
“别说了，卡罗琳，”父亲说，接着他差我帮迪尔西到阁楼上去把那只旧摇篮搬下来，这时候我说话了：
“And whar else do she belong?” Dilsey says.”Who else gwine raise her cep me? Ain’t I raised ev’y one of y’all?”
“那你说该把小昆丁放在哪儿抚养？”迪尔西说，“除了我，还会有谁来带她？你们这一家子，不都是我带大的吗？”
“And a dam fine job you made of it,” I says.”Anyway it’ll give her something to sure enough worry over now.” So we carried the cradle down and Dilsey started to set it up in her old room. Then Mother started sure enough.
“你带得真不错，”我说，“至少，如今又有事情可以让她来操心了。”我们把摇篮搬下顶楼，迪尔西动手把它放在她那个老房间里支起来。这时候母亲又来劲儿了一下。
“Hush, Miss Cahline,” Dilsey says.”You gwine wake her up.”
“别哭了，卡罗琳小姐。”迪尔西说。“你要把娃娃吵醒了。”
“In there?” Mother says.”To be contaminated by that atmosphere? It’ll be hard enough as it is, with the heritage she already has.”
“让她在那儿睡吗？”母亲说，“让她受这么坏的空气的毒害吗？她命这么苦，还不够她受的吗？”
“Hush,” Father says.”Don’t be silly.”
“别讲了，，父亲说，“别讲傻话了。”
“Why ain’t she gwine sleep in here,” Dilsey says.”In the same room whar I put her maw to bed ev’y night of her life since she was big enough to sleep by herself.”
“干吗她不能在这儿睡，”迪尔西说，“在她妈妈还小，没法单独睡的时候，每天都是由我带着在这个房间里睡的。”
“You don’t know,” Mother says.”To have my own daughter cast off by her husband. Poor little innocent baby,” she says, looking at Quentin.”You will never know the suffering you’ve caused.”
“唉，你不知道，”母亲说，“我的亲生女儿都让她的丈夫抛弃了。可怜的无事的小宝宝啊，”她一边瞅着小昆丁一边说，“你不知道你给别人带来了多么大的痛苦。”
“Hush, Caroline,” Father says.
“别说了，卡罗琳，”父亲说。
“What you want to gd on like that fo Jason fer?” Dilsey says.
“你干吗老是这么向着杰生？”迪尔西说。
“I’ve tried to protect him,” Mother says.”I’ve always tried to protect him from it. At least I can do my best to shield her.”
“我是想保护他，”母亲说。“我一直想保护他，不让他受到拖累。至少我是要尽力保护这小娃娃的。“”
“I can’t help it,” Mother says.”I know I’m just a troublesome old woman. But I know that people cannot flout God’s laws with impunity.”
“我也没有办法，”母亲说。“我知道我只不过是个讨人厌的老太婆。可是我知道藐视上帝律法的人都应受到惩罚的。”
“You can say nonsense,” Mother says.”But she must never know. She must never even learn that name. Dilsey, I forbid you ever to speak that name in her hearing. If she could grow up never to know that she had a mother, I would thank God.”
“你可以说我是胡说八道，”母亲说。“可是千万不能让她知道。连她妈叫什么名字也不能让她知道。迪尔西，我不许你在地面前提她妈妈的名字。要是她长大后根本不知道她有母亲，那就要谢天谢地了。”
“Don’t be a fool,” Father says.
“别这么傻了，”父亲说。
“Nonsense,” Father says.”Fix it in Miss Caroline’s room then, Dilsey.”
“胡说八道，”父亲说。“那就把摇篮支在卡罗琳小姐的房间里吧，迪尔西。”
“How sleepin in dis room gwine hurt her, I like to know,” Dilsey says.
“让她睡这间房怎么会对她有害呢？我倒要问，”迪尔西说。
“I have never interfered with the way you brought them up,” Mother says. “But now I cannot stand anymore. We must decide this now, tonight. Either that name is never to be spoken in her hearing, or she must go, or I will go. Take your choice.”
“你怎么抚养教育孩子，我可从来没有干涉过。”母亲说，“不过这一回我可不能由着你了，这个问题我们现在，今天晚上，就要说说清楚。要就是不许在她面前提那个名字，要就是别在这个家里抚养她；再不然，就是我走。你选择吧。”
“Hush,” Father says.”You’re just upset. Fix it in here, Dilsey.”
“行了，别说了，”父亲说，“你太激动了。把摇篮支在这儿，迪尔西。”
“En you’s about sick too,” Dilsey says.”You looks like a hant. You git in bed and I’ll fix you a toddy and see kin you sleep. I bet you ain’t had a full night’s sleep since you lef.”
“我看你也快病倒了，”迪尔西说。“你看上去都快象个鬼了。你快上床 去。我给你冲杯热酒，让你快点入睡。我敢说你离开家门以后准是没睡过一次好觉。”
Dilsey fixed the cradle and undressed her and put her in it. She never had waked up since he brought her in the house.
迪尔西安好摇篮，替婴儿脱了衣服，把她放进摇篮。自从父亲把她抱回家，她还没有醒过呢。
“No,” Mother says.”Don’t you know what the doctor says? Why must you encourage him to drink? That’s what’s the matter with him now. Look at me, I suffer too, but I’m not so weak that I must kill myself with whiskey.”
“肯定没有，”母亲说，“你不知道医生怎么关照的吗？你干吗还要纵容他喝酒。他现在不应该喝酒，你瞧我，我身体虽说不好，可是我意志并不薄弱，不会明知有害还要酗酒。”
“Fiddlesticks,” Father says.”What do doctors know? They make their livings advising people to do whatever they are not doing at the time, which is the extent of anyone’s knowledge of the degenerate ape. You’ll have a minister in to hold my hand next.” Then Mother cried, and he went out. Went down stairs, and then I heard the sideboard. I woke up and heard him going down again. Mother had gone to sleep or something, because the house was quiet at last. He was trying to be quiet too, because I couldn’t hear him, only the bottom of his nightshirt and his bare legs in front of the sideboard.
“胡说八道，”父亲说，“医生懂得什么？病人不想怎么千，他们偏让他那么干，就靠这个办法骗钱混饭吃。这谁不会呀？人人都知道，退化的猿猴①也就是这样干的。下一步，你该请一位牧师来拉住我的手了。②”这时候，母亲哭了，父亲走了出去。他走下楼去；接着我听见了酒柜开关的声音。我醒过来时又听到他下楼去的声音。母亲大概去睡或是干什么别的去了，因为屋子里终于静悄悄的没一点声音了。他也静悄悄的尽量不发出声音，因为除了他睡衣的下摆和他裸露的腿脚在酒柜前发出的赛车声之外，我没听见他发出什么别的响声。（注：①指人。康普生先生是个犬儒主义者，认为世上的生物愈来愈退化。②弥留时的宗教仪式。他这里的意思是：她在盼他早点死。）
“She pretty near too big fer hit,” Dilsey says.”Dar now. I gwine spread me a pallet right acrost de hall, so you won’t need to git up in de night.”
“她个子挺大，眼看就要睡不下了，”迪尔西说。“我有办法了。我以后就在过道里搭个地铺，这样你晚上就不用起床 了。”
“You are my only hope,” she says.”Every night I thank God for you.” While we were waiting there for them to start she says Thank God if he had to be taken too, it is you left me and not Quentin. Thank God you are not a Compson, because all I have left now is you and Maury and I says, Well I could spare Uncle Maury myself. Well, he kept on patting her hand with his black glove, talking away from her. He took them off when his turn with the shovel came. He got up near the first, where they were holding the umbrellas over them, stamping every now and then and trying to kick the mud off their feet and sticking to the shovels so they’d have to knock it off, making a hollow sound when it fell on it, and when I stepped back around the hack I could see him behind a tombstone, taking another one out of a bottle. I thought he never was going to stop because I had on my new suit too, but it happened that there wasn’t much mud on the wheels yet, only Mother saw it and says I don’t know when you’ll ever have another one and Uncle Maury says,”Now, now. Don’t you worry at all. You have me to depend on, always.”
“你是我唯一的希望了，”她说。“每天晚上，我都为你而感谢上帝。①当我们站在那儿等着大伙儿动身时，她说感谢上帝，如今父亲也不得不给带走，留在我身边的是你而不是昆丁。感谢上帝你脾气不象康普生家的人，因为我现在剩下的只有你和毛莱舅舅两个人了，这时候我对自己说，嗯，有没有毛莱舅舅我倒是一点也不在乎。哼，他一直用他的黑手套拍着她的手，一面跟她讲话，一面从她身边走开。轮到他铲土到墓穴里去时，他脱下手套。他走到第一批铲土的人的身边，有人给他们打着伞挡雨，时不时蹬蹬脚要把脚上的泥巴蹬掉，铁铲上粘满了泥上，因此他们只得把泥巴敲掉，泥巴落到棺材上时，发出了一种空荡荡的声音。当我退后几步站在那辆出租马车旁边时，我看见他躲在一块墓碑的后面，又从酒瓶里喝了一口酒。我还以为他要喝个没完了呢，因为我身上也穿了一套新西服，幸而马车轮子上那时候还没粘上多少泥巴，只有母亲看到了这一点，她说我可不知道你什么时候能再做一套新西服了，这时毛莱舅舅说，“得了，得了。你根本不用发愁，你不管什么时候都可以依靠我呢。”（注：①“感谢上帝”这句话使杰生的恩绪从接回小昆丁的那天转移到举行康普生先生葬仪的那天。）
“Hush, now,” Dilsey says.”We gwine take keer of her. En you go on to bed too,” she says to me.”You got to go to school tomorrow.”
“好了，别这样说了，”迪尔西说。“我们会好好照顾她的。你也该上床 歇着去了，”她对我说，“你明天还得上学呢。”
“I won’t sleep,” Mother says.”You go on home. I won’t mind. I’ll be happy to give the rest of my life to her, if I can just prevent –“
“我睡不着，”母亲说。“你回去睡好了。我不在乎的。我很乐意把自己的余生都用在她的身上，只要我能够阻止——”
So I went out, then Mother called me back and cried on me a while.
我往房外走去，但母亲叫住了我，扑在我身上哭了一会儿。
Well, I got to thinking about that and watching them throwing dirt into it, slapping it on anyway like they were making mortar or something or building a fence, and I began to feel sort of funny and so I decided to walk around a while. I thought that if I went toward town they’d catch up and be trying to make me get in one of them, so I went on back toward the nigger graveyard. I got under some cedars, where the rain didn’t come much, only dripping now and then, where I could see when they got through and went away. After a while they were all gone and I waited a minute and came out.
且说我想着这件事情，看着人们把泥土往墓穴里扔，拍击着泥巴，象是在和灰泥。树栅栏似的，我觉得有点儿好玩了，便决心在附近逛一会儿。我想如果我往镇子的方向走，他们准会赶上我，一定会让我搭他们的一辆车，因此我就往后走，朝黑人的墓园走去。我来到几株杉树的下面，这儿雨比较稀，只是间或掉几滴下来，在这里我可以看见他们什么时候于完，什么时候动身回去。过了一会儿，他们全走了，我再等了一分钟才走出来。
And we have. Always. The fourth letter was from him. But there wasn’t any need to open it. I could have written it myself, or recited it to her from memory, adding ten dollars just to be safe. But I had a hunch about that other letter. I just felt that it was about time she was up to some of her tricks again. She got pretty wise after that first time. She found out pretty quick that I was a different breed of cat from Father. When they begun to get it filled up toward the top Mother started crying sure enough, so Uncle Maury got in with her and drove off. He says You can come in with somebody; they’ll be glad to give you a lift. I’ll have to take your mother on and I thought about saying, Yes you ought to brought two bottles instead of just one only I thought about where we were, so I let them go on. Little they cared how wet I got, because then Mother could have a whale of a time being afraid I was taking pneumonia.
“是啊，我们是可以依靠他的，任何时候都可以。①第四封是他写来的。可是根本没有必要拆。这种信我自己都写得出来，也可以照背一遍给母亲听，为了保险起见再加上十块钱就可以了。可是对于另外那一封信我却有一种预感。我凭直觉感到又到了她耍花招的时候了。在第一次之后她变得非常精明。她很快就发现我与父亲不是同一种类型的人。当人们快把墓穴填满时，母亲号啕大哭起来，于是毛莱舅舅陪她一起上了马车，动身走了。②他对我说你可以和别人一起坐车；总会有人愿意让你搭车的。我得先把你母亲送回去，我本想说，是啊，你应该带两瓶酒出来，只带一瓶是不够的，可是我考虑到我们是在什么地方，因此我让他们先走了。他们才不管我身上有多湿呢，要是我有了得肺炎的迹象，母亲又该大惊小怪，不愁没事干了。（注：①回到“当前”。②康普生先生殡葬那天。）
I had to follow the path to keep out of the wet grass so I didn’t see her until I was pretty near there, standing there in a black cloak, looking at the flowers. I knew who it was right off, before she turned and looked at me and lifted up her veil.
我不得不顺着小路走，否则草会打湿我的脚，因此我一直走到离她很近了才看到她，她站在那儿，穿着一件黑斗篷，在看一束花儿，我第一眼就认出那是谁了，没等她转过身于看我，没等她撩起面纱。
“Hello, Jason,” she says, holding out her hand. We shook hands.
“嗨，杰生，”她说，一面伸出手来，我们握了握手。
“What are you doing here?” I says.”I thought you promised her you wouldn’t come back here. I thought you had more sense than that.”
“你来这儿干什么？”我说。“你不是答应过母亲再不回来的吗？我这以为你是个有头脑的女人呢。”
“Yes?” she says. She looked at the flowers again. There must have been fifty dollars’ worth. Somebody had put one bunch on Quentin’s.”You did?” she says.
“是吗。”她说，又去瞧那些花儿了。那些花怕是五十块钱也买不到的。有人把这束花放在昆丁的坟上，“你是这么想的吗？”她说。
“I’m not surprised though,” I says.”I wouldn’t put anything past you. You don’t mind anybody. You don’t give a dam about anybody.”
“不过我倒也不感到意外，”我说。”我早就知道，你是什么都做得出来的。你根本不考虑别人一别人的处境怎么样你根本不管。”
“Oh,” she says,”that job.” She looked at the grave.”I’m sorry about that, Jason.”
“噢，”她说，“那个职位①。”她眼睛盯住坟墓，“这件事我是感到很抱歉的，杰生。”（注：①指她丈夫原来答应给杰生在银行里找个差使的事。）
“I don’t want anything,” she says. She looked at the grave.”Why didn’t they let me know?” she says.”I just happened to see it in the paper. On the back page. Just happened to.”
“我什么都不要，”她说。她眼睛还是望着坟墓。“为什么他们不通知我？”她说。“我是偶然在报上看到的。在最后一页，我是偶然看到的。”
“I bet you are,” I says.”You’ll talk mighty meek now. But you needn’t have come back. There’s not anything left. Ask Uncle Maury, if you don’t believe me.”
“你也感到抱歉？”我说。“你现在说话口气也硬不起来了吧。可是你何必回来呢。什么遗产也没留下啊，你不信我的话可以去问毛莱舅舅。”
I didn’t say anything. We stood there, looking at the grave, and then I got to thinking about when we were little and one thing and another and I got to feeling funny again, kind of mad or something, thinking about now we’d have Uncle Maury around the house all the time, running things like the way he left me to come home in the rain by myself. I says,
我一句话也没说。我们站在那儿，呆呆地看着坟墓，这时我不由得想起了我们小时候的事，一桩桩一件件，我感到自己有点不舒服，好象有点疯疯癫癫，又想起如今毛莱舅舅又得住在我们家了，家里的事也得由他说了算了，就象他让我淋着雨一个人回家那样。我说：
“A fine lot you care, sneaking in here soon as he’s dead. But it won’t do you any good. Don’t think that you can take advantage of this to come sneaking back. If you can’t stay on the horse you’ve got, you’ll have to walk,” I says.”We don’t even know your name at that house,” I says.”Do you know that? We don’t even know your name. You’d be better off if you were down there with him and Quentin,” I says.”Do you know that?”
“你真有心眼，父亲一死马上就溜回来。不过你不会捞到什么好处的。千万不要以为你能利用这个局面悄悄地回到家里来。既然你驾御不了自己的马儿。哪你只好下来步行，”我说。“我们连你住在哪栋房子里叫什么名字都不知道，”我说。“你明白吗？我们根本不知道你和他跟昆丁的事，”我说。“你明白吗？”
“I know it,” she says.”Jason,” she says, looking at the grave,”if you’ll fix it so I can see her a minute I’ll give you fifty dollars.”
“我明白。”她说。“杰生，”她说，眼睛仍然看着坟墓，“如果你想办法让我看她一分钟，我给你五十块钱。”
“You haven’t got fifty dollars,” I says.
“你根本拿不出五十块钱来，”我说。
“Will you?” she says, not looking at me.
“你干不干呢？”她说，眼睛并不看我。
“Let’s see it,” I says.”I don’t believe you’ve got fifty dollars.”
“拿出来看看。”我说。“我不相信你身上有五十块钱。”
“I’ll give you a hundred,” she says.”Will you?”
“我可以给你一百块。”她说，“怎么样？”
“Jason,” she says. I stopped.
“杰生！”她喊我。我停住了脚步。
“All right,” she says.”Here.” There wasn’t anybody in sight. I went back and took the money. She still held to it.”You’ll do it?” she says, looking at me from under the veil.”You promise?”
“好吧，”她说，“给你。”四周围没有一个人，我走回到她身边去拿钱。她的手还捏住不放。“你会办的吧。”她说，透过面纱盯看着我，“你答应了？”
“You’re a fine one to talk about trusting people,” I says.”Well,” I says.”I got to get on out of the rain. Goodbye.” I made to go away.
“你这种人居然还要说什么别人是否可靠，”我说。“好吧。”我说，“我可不能没完没了的挨浇。再见了。”我作出要走的样子。
“Give me the money,” I says.
“把钱给我！”我说。
“No,” she says.”I know you. I grew up with you.”
“信不过，”她说。“我了解你。我是跟你一块长大的。”
I could see where her hands were moving under her cloak, then she held her hand out. Dam if it wasn’t full of money. I could see two or three yellow ones.
我可以看到她的双手在斗篷里蠕动，接着她伸出一只手来。手里果真捏满了钱，我看见有两三张黄色的钞票。
“Just a minute,” I says.”And just like I say. I wouldn’t have her know it for a thousand dollars.”
“只看一分钟，”我说，“而且得按我的吩咐办。你即使给一千块钱我也不愿让她知道。”
“Don’t you trust me?” I says.
“你难道还信不过我？”我说。
“Does he still give you money?” I says.”How much does he send you?”
“他现在还给你钱？”我说。“他寄多少钱给你？”
“Yes?” I says.”Hurry up. I’m getting wet.”
“怎么啦？”我问。“有话快说，我都要湿透了。”
“I’ll give it to you afterward,” she says.
“事情办完了再给你，”她悦。
“Yes,” she says.”Just like you say do it. Just so I see her a minute. I won’t beg or do anything. I’ll go right on away.”
“行。”她说，“就按你的办。去吧。只要让我看一分钟就行。我不会求你别的，也不会做出什么事来的。我看了马上就走。”
“You dam right there’s no other way,” I says.”Sure I’ll do it. I said I would, didn’t I? Only you’ll have to do just like I say, now.”
“你算是说对了，你也真找不到别的办法了。”我说，“我当然会给你办的。我说过我要办的，是不是？只不过你现在就得按我说的办法去做。”
“Let go,” I says.”You want somebody to come along and see us?”
“松手吧，”我说，“你想让谁走过来看到我们不是？”
She let go. I put the money in my pocket.”You’ll do it, Jason?” she says.”I wouldn’t ask you, if there was any other way.”
她松开了手。我把钱放进我的兜里，“你会办的吧，杰生。”她问，“只要有别的办法，我是不会来求你的。”
“Yes,” she says.”I will.” So I told her where to be, and went to the livery stable. I hurried and got there just as they were unhitching the hack. I asked if they had paid for it yet and he said No and I said Mrs Compson forgot something and wanted it again, so they let me take it. Mink was driving. I bought him a cigar, so we drove around until it begun to get dark on the back streets where they wouldn’t see him. Then Mink said he’d have to take the team on back and so I said I’d buy him another cigar and so we drove into the lane and I went across the yard to the house. I stopped in the hall until I could hear Mother and Uncle Maury upstairs, then I went on back to the kitchen. She and Ben were there with Dilsey. I said Mother wanted her and I took her into the house. I found Uncle Maury’s raincoat and put it around her and picked her up and went back to the lane and got in the hack. I told Mink to drive to the depot. He was afraid to pass the stable, so we had to go the back way and I saw her standing on the corner under the light and I told Mink to drive close to the walk and when I said Go on, to give the team a bat. Then I took the raincoat off of her and held her to the window and Caddy saw her and sort of jumped forward.
“好的，”她说，“我听你的，”于是我告诉她到什么地方去等我，说完我就朝马车行走去。我加快了步子，就在他们正要把马匹从车子上卸下来的时候走到那儿。我问车钱算过没有，老板说还没有，于是我就说康普生太太忘了拿一样东西，还要用车，于是他们就让我坐上了车。赶车的是明克①。我买了一支雪茄敬他。我们赶着马车兜圈子，直到后街天色暗淡下来，人们在那儿看不出他了，这时明克说，他得把马儿赶回到车行去了，我就说，我待会儿再给他买一支雪茄，于是我们把车子赶进小巷，我穿过院子走进屋子。我在门厅里停住脚步，听到母亲与毛莱舅舅在楼上说话的声音，于是我朝后面走进了厨房。小昆丁与班在那里，迪尔西看着他们。我说母亲要让昆丁去一下，于是我抱着她走进屋子。我找到了毛莱舅舅的雨衣，把它裹在她身上，我抱起她回到小巷里坐上了马车。我让明克把车子赶到火车站去。他很怕在马车行门前经过，于是我们只好绕后街走。这时候我看见凯蒂站在路口街灯下，我就吩咐明克让车子挨近人行道走，等到我说“快走”时，给牲口抽上一鞭子。这时我把小昆丁身上的雨衣脱下来，把她举在马车窗前，凯蒂一看见她简直要往前扑过来。（注：①马车行里一个赶车的伙计。）
And so I counted the money again that night and put it away, and I didn’t feel so bad. I says I reckon that’ll show you. I reckon you’ll know now that you can’t beat me out of a job and get away with it. It never occurred to me she wouldn’t keep her promise and take that train. But I didn’t know much about them then; I didn’t have any more sense than to believe what they said, because the next morning dam if she didn’t walk right into the store, only she had sense enough to wear the veil and not speak to anybody. It was Saturday morning, because I was at the store, and she came right on back to the desk where I was, walking fast.
那天晚上，我再一次数钱并且把钱放好时，我心里美孜孜的，我心里说，我看这下子你可知道我的厉害了。我想现在你总知道不能弄丢了我的差事就此完事了吧。我万万没有想到她会不遵守诺言没搭乘那班火车离开，这得怪我当时对女人了解得大少；我那时还太傻。女人怎么说我就怎么相信，因为第二天早上你道如何，原来她居然径直朝店里走进来了，只不过她总算还有点分寸，戴着面纱，也没有跟任何人讲话。那是个星期六的早上，因为我在店里，她急急匆匆地一直走到店堂后部我的写字台前。
“Hit ’em, Mink!” I says, and Mink gave them a cut and we went past her like a fire engine.”Now get on that train like you promised,” I says. I could see her running after us through the back window.”Hit’em again,” I says.”Let’s get on home.” When we turned the corner she was still running.
“抽鞭子呀，明克！”我说，于是明克狠狠地往马身上抽了一下。我们象一辆救火车似的从她身边冲了过去。“现在快上火车吧，这是你答应了的。”我说。我透过马车后窗可以看到她跟在我们后面奔跑。“再抽一鞭。”我说，“咱们回家吧。”我们在路口拐弯时她仍然在奔跑。
“Are you crazy?” I says.”What do you mean? coming in here like this?” She started in, but I shut her off. I says,”You already cost me one job; do you want me to lose this one too? If you’ve got anything to say to me, I’ll meet you somewhere after dark. What have you got to say to me?” I says.”Didn’t I do everything I said? I said see her a minute, didn’t I? Well, didn’t you?” She just stood there looking at me, shaking like an ague-fit, her hands clenched and kind of jerking.”I did just what I said I would,” I says.”You’re the one that lied. You promised to take that train. Didn’t you? Didn’t you promise? If you think you can get that money back, just try it,” I says.”If it’d been a thousand dollars, you’d still owe me after the risk I took. And if I see or hear you’re still in town after number 17 runs,” I says,”I’ll tell Mother and Uncle Maury. Then hold your breath until you see her again.” She just stood there, looking at me, twisting her hands together.
“你疯了吗？”我说。“你这是在干什么？怎么就这样走到这里来？”她刚要张嘴，我把她给堵了回去。我说：“你已经撬掉了我一份差事，还想断送掉我这一份不成？若是你有话跟我说，咱们可以说好天黑后到哪儿去见面。你到底有什么活要说呢？”我说。“我答应了要做的事哪一件没有做？我说了让你见她一分钟。我让你见了没有？嗯，你见到了没有？”她只顾站在那儿盯着我，象打摆子似的浑身乱颤，双手紧握，象是在抽风。“我答应的事我全办了，”我说，“你自己才是骗子呢。你答应我乘那班火车离开。你乘了没有呢？你不是答应过的吗？钡果你以为你能把那笔钱要回去，你趁早断了这个念头，”我说。“就算你给我的是一千块钱。你还欠着我的情分。要知道我冒了多大的风险！要是十六次车开走以后我还看见或是听说你在镇上，”我说，“我就要告诉母亲和毛菜舅舅了。这以后，你到老死也别想再见到小昆丁。”她只顾站在那里，眼睛盯着我，两只手扭来扭去。
“Liar,” she says.”Liar.”
“骗子，”她说，“骗子。”
“Sure,” I says.”That’s all right too. Mind what I say, now. After number 17, and I tell them.”
“行，”我说，“你怎么说都行，注意我的话，听着，不乘十七次车走，我就告诉他们。”
“Damn you,” she says.”Damn you.”
“你真可恨，”她说，“你真可恨。”
So as soon as I got home I fixed Dilsey. I told Dilsey she had leprosy and I got the bible and read where a man’s flesh rotted off and I told her that if she ever looked at her or Ben or Quentin they’d catch it too. So I thought I had everything all fixed until that day when I came home and found Ben bellowing. Raising hell and nobody could quiet him. Mother said, Well, get him the slipper then. Dilsey made out she didn’t hear. Mother said it again and I says I’d go I couldn’t stand that dam noise. Like I say I can stand lots of things I don’t expect much from them but if I have to work all day long in a dam store dam if I don’t think I deserve a little peace and quiet to eat dinner in. So I says I’d go and Dilsey says quick,”Jason!”
因此，我一回到家里就钉住迪尔西。我告诉迪尔西“她”①得了麻风病，我把《圣经》找出来给她念一个人身上的腐肉一块块掉下来的那一段，我告诉她只要她或是班或是小昆丁给“她”看上一眼，他们都会传染上麻风病的。这样，我自以为把一切都安排妥了，可是有一天我回到家中，发现班在大吼大叫。他闹翻了天，谁也不能让他静下来。母亲说，好吧，把那只拖鞋给他②。迪尔西假装没听见这句话。母亲又说了一遍，这时我说，我去取吧，这么吵我可实在受不了啦。我常说，我这个人是很能忍耐的，我要求不高，从不指望从他们那里得到什么好处，可是我在一家破杂货铺子里干了一整天的活儿，是不是可以让我安静一会儿，太太平平地吃一顿饭呢？因此我说，好吧，我去取拖鞋，可是迪尔西急急地叫了一声：“杰生！”（注：①指凯蒂。②班吉这天见到过凯蒂，所以大吵大闹。）
After she was gone I felt better. I says I reckon you’ll think twice before you deprive me of a job that was promised me. I was a kid then. I believed folks when they said they’d do things. I’ve learned better since. Besides, like I say I guess I don’t need any man’s help to get along I can stand on my own feet like I always have. Then all of a sudden I thought of Dilsey and Uncle Maury. I thought how she’d get around Dilsey and that Uncle Maury would do anything for ten dollars. And there I was, couldn’t even get away from the store to protect my own Mother. Like she says, if one of you had to be taken, thank God it was you left me I can depend on you and I says well I don’t reckon I’ll ever get far enough from the store to get out of your reach. Somebody’s got to hold on to what little we have left, I reckon.
她离开之后，我觉得痛快多了。我心里说，我琢磨往后你想砸掉眼看到我嘴边的饭碗可得先好好考虑考虑了。当时我还是个孩子。人家怎么说，我就怎么相信。打那以后，我可学乖了。而且，如我所说的，我看我也并不需要仰仗别人的提携，我满可以自已靠自己。我一直都是这样，不也挺过来了。这时候我突然想到了迪尔西和毛莱舅舅，我想到凯蒂会说服迪尔西的，而毛莱舅舅这个人，你只要给他十块钱，叫他干什么都行。可是我却在这里，甚至都不能离开这家破店去保护自己的母亲。就跟她所说的那样，要是上帝要把你们当中的一个带走，我感谢上帝留下来的是你，可以让我有个依靠，于是我说，哼，我命中注定跑不远，顶多就到那家杂货店，免得您需要的时候找不到我。家产虽然已经所剩无儿，总得有个人守着它，是不是？
“I like to know whut’s de hurt in lettin dat po chile see her own baby,” Dilsey says.”If Mr Jason was still here hit ud be different.”
“我倒要问，让可怜的小姐看看她自己的孩子，这又有什么不对，”迪尔西说。“要是杰生先生②还活着，事情就不会这样。”（注：②指康普生先生。）
Well, like a flash I knew what was up, but just to make sure I went and got the slipper and brought it back, and just like I thought, when he saw it you’d thought we were killing him. So I made Dilsey own up, then I told Mother. We had to take her up to bed then, and after things got quieted down a little I put the fear of God into Dilsey. As much as you can into a nigger, that is. That’s the trouble with nigger servants, when they’ve been with you for a long time they get so full of self importance that they’re not worth a dam. Think they run the whole family.
于是象心里打了个闪一样，我顿时明白发生什么事了，不过为了弄确实我还是去取拖鞋；把它拿了来。果然不出我的所料，他看到拖鞋之后闹得更加凶了，真好象我们要把他宰了似的。因此我逼着迪尔西承认真相，然后我把事情报告母亲。接着，我们又得把她送上床 去了。等事情稍稍安定下来，我就启发迪尔西，让她明白应该敬畏上帝。这就是说，多少要有点敬畏之心，对黑人要求本来也不能太高嘛。使唤黑人佣人就有这份麻烦，日子长了，就免不了会尾大不掉，简直没法差他们做事。他们还以为这个家是他们在当呢。
“Only Mr Jason’s not here,” I says.”I know you won’t pay me any mind, but I reckon you’ll do what Mother says. You keep on worrying her like this until you get her into the graveyard too, then you can fill the whole house full of ragtag and bobtail. But what did you want to let that dam boy see her for?”
“可是杰生先生不在人世了，”我说。“我知道你压根儿没把我放在眼里，不过太太吩咐下来的话我想你总得听听吧。你老这么折磨她，要不了多久她也得进坟墓，到那时这幢房子都让给你们这伙黑人穷鬼住得了。你说，你又干吗让那傻子见到她呢？”
“You’s a cold man, Jason, if man you is,” she says.”I thank de Lawd I got mo heart dan dat, even ef hit is black.”
“杰生，如果你总算是个人，那你也是个冷酷的人，”他说，“我要感谢上帝，因为我比你有心肝，虽说那是黑人的心肝。”
So the next time I told her that if she tried Dilsey again, Mother was going to fire Dilsey and send Ben to Jackson and take Quentin and go away. She looked at me for a while. There wasn’t any street light close and I couldn’t see her face much. But I could feel her looking at me. When we were little when she’d get mad and couldn’t do anything about it her upper lip would begin to jump. Everytime it jumped it would leave a little more of her teeth showing, and all the time she’d be as still as a post, not a muscle moving except her lip jerking higher and higher up her teeth. But she didn’t say anything. She just said,
因此我第二次见到她时，我就告诉她，假如她再走迪尔西的门路，母亲就要让迪尔西滚蛋，把班送去杰克逊，自己带了小昆丁上别处去。她瞪大眼瞧了我好一会儿。附近没有路灯，我看不清她的脸。可是我觉得出来她是在看我。我们小时候；每逢她为了什么事情生气却又无可奈何时，她的上嘴唇总是这样一抽一抽的。上嘴唇一抽搐，她的牙齿就会多露出一些，在这整个过程中她总是一动不动，象根石柱一样，连一丝肌肉也不动，除了上唇翘得越来越高，牙齿露得越来越多，却什么话也不说，临了她光是迸出了这几个字：
“At least I’m man enough to keep that flour barrel full,” I says.”And if you do that again, you won’t be eating out of it either.”
“至少我是个男子汉，让家里的面粉桶总是满满登登的，”我说。“告诉你，那样的事你再干一次，你就别想再吃这儿的面包皮。”
“All right. How much?”
“好吧。要多少钱？”
“I know they have Mother’s indorsement on them,” she says.”But I want to see the bank statement. I want to see myself where those checks go.”
“我知道支票背面都有母亲的签名，”她说，“可是我想看一看银行的结单。我想亲自了解一下那些支票都上哪儿去了。”
“Well, if one look through a hack window was worth a hundred,” I says. So after that she behaved pretty well, only one time she asked to see a statement of the bank account.
“嗯，如果透过马车窗子看一眼价钱是一百块，那么……”我说。反正那一回之后，她表现得相当不错，只有一次，她要求看银行账目的结单。
“That’s in Mother’s private business,” I says.”If you think you have any right to pry into her private affairs I’ll tell her you believe those checks are being misappropriated and you want an audit because you don’t trust her.”
“那可是母亲的私人事务，”我说。“如果你以为你有权利刺探她的私事，那我可以告诉她，说你认为那些支票都被人挪用了，你想查账目，因为你不信任她。
She didn’t say anything or move. I could hear her whispering Damn you oh damn you oh damn you.
她什么话也没说，也没有动弹，但我能听见她心里在说你真可恨你真可恨你真可恨。
“Say it out,” I says.”I don’t reckon it’s any secret what you and I think of one another. Maybe you want the money back,” I says.
“你尽管大声说出来好了！”我说，“你我之间有什么看法，早就不是什么秘密了。也许你是想把钱要回去吧。”我说。
“Listen, Jason,” she says.”Don’t lie to me now. About her. I won’t ask to see anything. If that isn’t enough, I’ll send more each month. Just promise that she’ll — that she — You can do that. Things for her. Be kind to her. Little things that I can’t, they won’t let… But you won’t. You never had a drop of warm blood in you. Listen,” she says.”If you’ll get Mother to let me have her back, I’ll give you a thousand dollars.”
“听着，杰生，”她说。“别再跟我说瞎话了。我现在说的是她的事。我不要求看什么。如果钱不够，我每个月还可以多寄一些，只要答应我她能够——她可以——这是你能够办到的。给她买一些东西。待她好一些，这些小事我都办不到，人家不让我办。……不过你是不会帮我干的。你的血从来都是冷冰冰的。听着。”他说，“如果你想法子让母亲把昆丁还给我，我就给你一千块钱。”
“And I know how you’ll get it,” I says.”You’ll get it the same way you got her. And when she gets big enough –“Then I thought she really was going to hit at me, and then I didn’t know what she was going to do. She acted for a minute like some kind of a toy that’s wound up too tight and about to burst all to pieces.
“我可知道你是怎么去弄的，”我说，“就是用弄出小昆丁来的那种办法。等到她变成了一个大姑娘——”这时候我以为她真的要打我了，但接着我又搞不清楚她到底要干什么了。有一瞬间，她好象一只发条拧得太紧眼看就要崩成碎片的玩具。
“You haven’t got a thousand dollars,” I says.”I know you’re lying now.”
“你根本拿不出一千块，”我说，“我知道你就是在说瞎话。”
“Yes I have. I will have. I can get it.”
“有，我有。我会有的。我可以弄到的。”
“No,” she says, then she begun to laugh and to try to hold it back all at the same time.”No. I have nothing at stake,” she says, making that noise, putting her hands to her mouth.”Nuhnuh-nothing,” she says.
“对了，”她说，这时她大笑起来，同时又使劲抑制自己想要不笑。“对了，我反正再没什么可以丢失的了，”她说，一面发出那种噗嗤噗嗤的怪声，一面用双手捂住自己的嘴。“什么——什么——什么也没有了，”她说。
“Oh, I’m crazy,” she says.”I’m insane. I can’t take her. Keep her. What am I thinking of. Jason,” she says, grabbing my arm. Her hands were hot as fever.”You’ll have to promise to take care of her, to — She’s kin to you; your own flesh and blood. Promise, Jason. You have Father’s name: do you think I’d have to ask him twice? once, even?”
“噢，我真是疯了，”她说，“我是癫狂了。我带不走她。你们抚养她吧，我想到哪儿去了。杰生，”他说，一边紧紧攥住我的胳膊，她的手烫极了，象是在发高烧。“你得答应我要好好照顾她，要——她是你的亲人；是跟你有血缘关系的。答应我，杰生，你的名字是和父亲的一样的，如果是在他面前，我难道还用求第二遍吗？哼，连一遍也不用呢！”
“That’s so,” I says.”He did leave me something. What do you want me to do,” I says.”Buy an apron and a gocart? I never got you into this,” I says.”I run more risk than you do, because you haven’t got anything at stake. So if you expect –“
“一点不错，”我说，“我身上的确有点象父亲的地方。你要我怎么办？”我说，“买一条围裙和一辆婴儿学步车吗？你的苦恼都不是我造成的，”我说。“我冒的风险可要比你大，因为你反正再没什么可以丢失的了。因此，如果你指望——”
“I’m tr-trying to,” she says, holding her hands over her mouth.”Oh God, oh God.”
“我是想不笑的呀。”她说，用双手捂住了自己的嘴。“哦，上帝啊，哦，上帝啊。”
“Here,” I says.”Stop that!”
“好了，“我说，“别笑了！”
“Wait,” she says, catching my arm.”I’ve stopped. I won’t again. You promise, Jason?” she says, and me feeling her eyes almost like they were touching my face.”You promise? Mother — that money — if sometimes she needs things — If I send checks for her to you, other ones besides those, you’ll give them to her? You won’t tell? You’ll see that she has things like other girls?”
“等一等，”他说，扼紧了我的胳膊。“我已经止住了。我不会再笑了。那你答应我了，杰生？”他说。我觉得她的眼睛瞪着我，仿佛都能触到我的脸了，“你答应了？母亲——那笔钱——如果什么时候昆丁需要什么——如果我把给她的钱用支票汇给你，算是固定生活费之外的钱，你会给她的吧？你不会跟别人说吧？你会让她象别的女孩子那样得到种种必要的生活用品的吧？”
“I’m going away from here,” I says.”I can’t be seen here. You get on out of town now, you hear?”
“我可得走了，”我说，“我不能让人家看见我在这里。你现在就离开咱们这个镇，你听见没有？，
And so when Earl came up front with his hat on he says,”I’m going to step up to Rogers’ and get a snack. We won’t have time to go home to dinner, I reckon.”
这时候，艾尔戴好帽子，走到店堂前面来①，他说；“我就到罗杰斯的店里去随便吃点东西。我看咱们没时间回家吃午饭了。”（注：①回到“当前”。）
“With this show in town and all,” he says.”They’re going to give an afternoon performance too, and they’ll all want to get done trading in time to go to it. So we’d better just run up to Rogers’.”
“戏班子在镇上演出，热闹得很，”她说，“他们今儿要加演日场，大伙儿都想快点做完买卖，赶上趟去看演出。所以我们就上罗杰斯小吃店随便吃点算了。”
“What’s the matter we won’t have time?” I says.
“你说咱们没时间，这是什么意思？”我说。
“All right,” I says.”It’s your stomach. If you want to make a slave of yourself to your business, it’s all right with me.
“好吧，”我说。“反正那是你的肚子。你愿意为自己的买卖吃苦受罪，我没有什么意见。”
“I reckon you’ll never be a slave to any business,” he says.
“我看你这人是永远也不愿为做买卖吃点苦的，”他说。
“Not unless it’s JaSon Compson’s business,” I says.
“除非是为杰生·康普生的买卖，”我说。
“Sure,” I says.”As long as you behave and do like I tell you.”
“当然会的，”我说，“只要你听我的活，按我吩咐的去做。”
So when I went back and opened it the only thing that surprised me was it was a money order not a check. Yes, sir. You can’t trust a one of them. After all the risk I’d taken, risking Mother finding out about her coming down here once or twice a year sometimes, and me having to tell Mother lies about it. That’s gratitude for you. And I wouldn’t put it past her to try to notify the postoffice not to let anyone except her cash it. Giving a kid like that fifty dollars. Why I never saw fifty dollars until I was twenty-one years old, with all the other boys with the afternoon off and all day Saturday and me working in a store. Like I say, how can they expect anybody to control her, with her giving her money behind our backs. She has the same home you had I says, and the same raising. I reckon Mother is a better judge of what she needs than you are, that haven’t even got a home.”If you want to give her money,” I says,”you send it to Mother, don’t be giving it to her. If I’ve got to run this risk every few months, you’ll have to do like I say, or it’s out.”
因此当我重新走到店堂后面去打开那封信时，惟一使我感到惊奇的是里面附了一张邮局汇单，而不是支票。是的，先生，女人是没有一个可以信任的。我为她冒了多少风险，冒着母亲发现她一年回来一两次的风险，我还得向母亲撒谎，这也是要冒风险的。可是对你的报答就是这个。依我看，她怕是会去通知邮局：除了昆丁之外别的人都无权领取汇款。她居然一下子就给那么小的小丫头五十块钱。要知道我满二十一岁以前别说有五十块钱，连见都没见到过呀。别的孩子每天下午都没事，星期六可以玩上整整一天，可我却得在一家店里于零活。我不是说了，象她这样背着我们把钱给她女儿，又怎能指望别人管得住她呢，我早就说了，她和你一样，都出身于同样的家庭，受到同样的教养，我寻思，小昆丁需要什么，母亲总比你清楚些吧，你是连自己的家都没有一个的。“如果你想给她钱，”我说，“你寄给母亲好了，别直接给她。你既然让我过几个月就冒一次风险，那你就得依我说的办，不然这事情就算吹了。”
She came around to the desk. I looked at my watch.
她来到桌旁。我瞧了瞧我的表。
And just about the time I got ready to begin on it because if Earl thought I was going to dash up the street and gobble two bits worth of indigestion on his account he was bad fooled. I may not be sitting with my feet on a mahogany desk but I am being payed for what I do inside this building and if I can’t manage to live a civilised life outside of it I’ll go where I can. I can stand on my own feet; I don’t need any man’s mahogany desk to prop me up. So just about the time I got ready to start I’d have to drop everything and run to sell some redneck a dime’s worth of nails or something, and Earl up there gobbling a sandwich and half way back already, like as not, and then I found that all the blanks were gone. I remembered then that I had aimed to get some more, but it was too late now, and then I looked up and there she came. In the back door. I heard her asking old Job if I was there. I just had time to stick them in the drawer and close it.
正当我马上要去办那件事情的时候——要是艾尔以为他说了那样的话我就会赶紧上街去狼吞虎咽二毛五一客倒胃口的快餐，那他是大大的失算了。我也许不是一个坐在红木办公桌前双脚往桌子上一翘的大老板，不过人家给我工钱只能管我在这爿店里干活的事，如果我连下了班想过文明点的生活都要受到干涉，那我只好另找能过这种生活的养爷处了。我能够自己靠自己，我不需要别人的红木办公桌来支撑我的脚。正当我刚要开始办那件事，我又得把手头的事全都扔下，跑过去给红脖梗的穷庄稼汉拿一毛钱的钉子或是别的什么小物件，而这时艾尔准是一面把三明治往嘴里塞一面往回走了，就在这节骨眼上我发现空白支票偏偏都用光了。我记起来了，我原来是想去多领几张的，可是现在已经来不及了，这时候我抬起头，看见小昆丁来了。她是从后门进来的。我听见她在跟老约伯打听我在不在，我赶紧把东西塞进抽屉，把抽屉关好。
“You been to dinner already?” I says.”It’s just twelve; I just heard it strike. You must have flown home and back.”
“你回去吃过饭了吗？”我说。“现在刚好十二点，我刚刚听见钟敲过。你准是飞去飞来的。”
“Mother got one from her,” I says.”I haven’t opened it. You’ll have to wait until she opens it. She’ll let you see it, I imagine.”
“有一封是她给母亲的，”我说。“我没有拆。你得先等她拆了再说。我想，她会让你看的。”
“I’m not going home to dinner,” she says.”Did I get a letter today?”
“我不回去吃午饭了，”她说。“今天是不是有给我的一封信。”
“Were you expecting one?” I says.”Have you got a sweetie that can write?”
“你是在等信。”我说。“你居然还有能认字会写信的男朋友？”
“From Mother,” she says.”Did I get a letter from Mother?” she says, looking at me.
“是妈妈写来的信，”她说。“有妈妈给我的信吗？”她说，眼睛盯住我。
I went and waited on him. When I turned to come back she was out of sight behind the desk. I ran. I ran around the desk and caught her as she jerked her hand out of the drawer. I took the letter away from her, beating her knuckles on the desk until she let go.
我走开去伺候顾客。等我转过身子回来，我看不见她，她躲到桌子后面去了。我赶紧跑过去。我急急绕到桌子后面去，我抓住她时她的手正从抽屉里缩回来。我把她的手关节往桌子上敲，直到她松开手，我把信抢走。
“What’s the matter?” I says.”I never knew you to be this anxious about anybody. You must expect some money from her.”
“你这是怎么啦？”我说。“我从没见你为谁的事这么着急过。你准是在等她寄钱给你。”
“Please, Jason,” she says, not paying any attention.”Did I get one?”
“请告诉我，杰生，”她说，根本不理我这一套，“有我的信没有？”
“She said she –” she says.”Please, Jason,” she says. “Did I?”
“她说过她要——”她说。“谢谢你了，杰生，”她说，“有我的信没有？”
“You must have been to school today, after all,” I says.”Somewhere where they taught you to say please. Wait a minute, while I wait on that customer.”
“你今天总算是去过学校了，”我说，“那可是他们教你说谢谢的地方。等一等，先让我去接待顾客。”
“Read the letter,” I says.”I reckon it’ll say.”
“你看信好了，”我说。‘我想信里总提起的吧。”
“I’m going to, if you’ll give me time,” I says. I took the letter and the money order out and gave her the letter. She reached for the money order, not hardly glancing at the letter.
“你别着急，我会给你的，”我说。我把信纸与汇款单拿出来，单把信纸给了她。她伸过手来要拿汇款单，眼睛甚至都不看信一眼。
“You’ll have to sign it first,” I says.
“你得先签个字。”我说。
“How much is it?” she says.
“汇来多少钱？”她说。
She read it fast, in about two looks.
她急急地看信，三两眼就把信看完了。
“Is there some money in it?” she says, reaching for it.”She said she would send me some money. She promised she would. Give it to me.”
“里面有钱没有？”她说，伸过手来要拿。“她说过要寄些钱给我的。她答应的。把钱给我。”
“Give it to me,” she says.”You’ve already opened it. Give it to me. Please, Jason. It’s mine. I saw the name.”
“把信给我。”她说，“你已经拆开了。把信给我。求求你，杰生。是写给我的。我看到上面的名字了。”
“You would, would you?” I says.
“你想偷，你想偷是吗？”我说。
“She said she would,” she says.”Give it to me. Please, Jason. I won’t ever ask you anything again, if you’ll give it to me this time.”
“她说过要寄钱的，”她说。“请你把钱给我，杰生。你这次给了我，我以后再也不跟你要什么了。”
“What do you want with money?” I says.
“你要钱干什么？”我说。
“It don’t say,” she says, looking up. She dropped the letter to the floor.”How much is it?”
“信里没说。”她说，抬起头来。她把信扔在地上。“汇来多少钱？”
“I’ll take a hame string to you,” I says.”That’s what I’ll give you. Going into my papers.”
“我要拿条马鞍绳来抽你，”我说。“应该给你的是绳子。居然敢乱翻我的东西！”
“Ten dollars?” she says, staring at me.
“十块？”她说，瞪大了眼睛看我。
“It’s ten dollars,” I says,
“十块钱，”我说。
“Ten dollars?” she says, like she was talking in her sleep.”Just ten dollars?” She made a grab at the money order.”You’re lying,” she says.”Thief!” she says.”Thief!”
“十块钱？”她说，那神情就仿佛是在说梦话，“只有十块钱？”她猛的伸手，想把汇款单抢过去。“你胡说，”她说。“你是个贼！”她说，“你是个贼！”
“You would, would you?” I says, holding her off.
“你想抢，你想抢是吗？”我说，一面把她推开。
“You will?” I says, holding her.”How’re you going to do it?”
“你要看？”我说着就抓住她，“你打算用什么办法呢？”
“Give it to me!” she says.”It’s mine. She sent it to me. I will see it. I will.”
“把汇款单给我。”他说，“那是我的。是她寄给我的。我要看，我要看嘛。”
“And you ought to be dam glad to get that,” I says.”A kid like you. What are you in such a rush for money all of a sudden for?”
“你拿到十块钱就应该心满意足了。”我说，“象你这么不丁大的小孩子家。你突然急急忙忙要钱，到底是怎么回事？“
“Just let me see it, Jason,” she says.”Please. I won’t ask you for anything again.”
“就让我看一看吧，杰生，”她说，“求求你。我以后再也不跟你要什么东西了。”
“Think I’m lying, do you?” I says.”Just for that you won’t see it.”
“你怀疑我说谎，是吗？”我说。“为了这个我就不让你看。”
“Tell me what you’ve got to have money for,” I says.
“告诉我你为什么这么需要钱！”我说。
“I’ve got to have it,” she says. She was looking at me. Then all of a sudden she quit looking at me without moving her eyes at all. I knew she was going to lie.”It’s some money I owe,” she says.”I’ve got to pay it. I’ve got to pay it today.”
“我非常需要钱。”她说。她眼睛盯着我看，可是突然之间她不再看我了，虽然她的眼珠一动也没动。我知道她在编瞎话了。“我欠了别人一笔钱，”她说，“我得还债。我今天非得还债不可。”
“But just ten dollars,” she says.”She told me she — she told me — Jason, please please please. I’ve got to have some money. I’ve just got to. Give it to me, Jason. I’ll do anything if you will.”
“不过怎么会只有十块钱呢，”她说，“她告诉我她——她说过——杰生，求求你，求求你，求求你，我得用一些钱。我非要不可。你就给我吧，杰生，你让我怎么干都行。
“Tell me what you want with it, and I’ll see about it,” I says.”Tell me.” She just stood there, with her hands working against her dress.”All right,” I says.”If ten dollars is too little for you, I’ll just take it home to Mother, and you know what’ll happen to it then. Of course, if you’re so rich you don’t need ten dollars –“
“先告诉我你干吗要这笔钱，我再决定该怎么办！”我说。“告诉我呀。”她就那样站在那里，两只手在裙子上搓来搓去。“那好吧，”我说，“如果你认为十块钱太少，那就让我把它带回去交 给你外婆，你知道这样一来会怎么样。当然啦，如果你有的是钱，根本不在乎这十块——”
“It’s a girl,” she says.”It’s a girl. I borrowed some money from a girl. I’ve got to pay it back. Jason, give it to me. Please. I’ll do anything. I’ve got to have it. Mother will pay you. I’ll write to her to pay you and that I won’t ever ask her for anything again. You can see the letter. Please, Jason. I’ve got to have it.”
“是个姑娘，”她说，“是个姑娘。我欠了她一笔钱。我得还给她。杰生，把钱给我吧，求求你，要我干什么都行。我非要这笔钱不可。妈妈会还给你的。我会写信给她让她把钱还给你的，我以后也再不跟她要什么东西了。信给你看好了。求求你，杰生。我一定要这笔钱。”
She stood there, looking at the floor, kind of mumbling to herself.”She said she would send me some money. She said she sends money here and you say she don’t send any. She said she’s sent a lot of money here. She says it’s for me. That it’s for me to have some of it. And you say we haven’t got any money.”
她站在那儿，眼睛低垂，望着地板，象是在喃喃自语。“她说过要寄些钱给我的。她说过要把钱寄到这儿来，可你又说她一点钱也没寄来。她说她已经寄过许多钱到这儿来了。她说那些钱是给我的。说我可以用里面的一部分。可你却说咱们一点钱也没收到。”
“Who to?” I says. Her hands were sort of twisting. I could watch her trying to think of a lie to tell.”Have you been charging things at stores again?” I says.”You needn’t bother to tell me that. If you can find anybody in this town that’ll charge anything to you after what I told them, I’ll eat it.”
“还给谁？’我说。她两只手在绞扭了。我看得出来她费尽脑汁在编瞎话。“莫非你又在哪家店里赊账了吗？”我说，“这种话你大可不必说出口了。我跟镇上所有的店铺都打过招呼了。如果这以后你还能从哪家店里赊到东西；我算服了你了。”
“And you’d better thank your stars it’s ten dollars,” I says.”Here,” I says. I put the money order face down on the desk, holding my hand on it.”Sign it.”
“你应该感谢自己运气好，居然还能收到十块钱，”我说。“来吧，”我说。我把汇款单面朝下放在桌子上，用手按住它。“签字吧。”
“You know as much about that as I do,” I says.”You’ve seen what happens to those checks.”
“这里面的情况你和我一样清楚，”我说。“你不是看到我们怎么处理那些支票了吗？”
“Not after the way you’ve acted,” I says.”You’ve got to learn one thing, and that is that when I tell you to do something, you’ve got it to do. You sign your name on that line.”
“你方才表现这么不好，我不能让你看！”我说，“有一件事你可得学会，那就是我让你怎么办，你就得怎么办。你把名字签在这儿吧。”
“Will you let me see it?” she says.”I just want to look at it. Whatever it says, I won’t ask for but ten dollars. You can have the rest. I just want to see it.”
“你能让我看看吗？”她说。“我只不过想看一看。不管上面写的是多少钱，我也只跟你要十块钱。剩下的都归你了，我只不过想看一看。”
She took the pen, but instead of signing it she just stood there with her head bent and the pen shaking in her hand. Just like her mother.”Oh, God,” she says,”oh, God.”
她拿起钢笔，可是她没有签字，仅仅是站在那里，垂倒了头，那支钢笔在手里颤抖着。就跟她妈一模一样。“哦，天哪！”她说，“哦，天哪！”
“Yes,” she says, looking at the floor.”Ten dollars,” she says.”Ten dollars.”
“是的，”她说，眼睛望着地板。“十块钱，”她说，“十块钱。”
She signed it.”Where’s the money?” she says. I took the order and blotted it and put it in my pocket. Then I gave her the ten dollars.
她签了。“钱在哪儿呢？”她说。我拿起汇单，吸干墨水，放进口袋。接着我拿出十块钱来给她。
“Yes,” I says.”That’s one thing you’ll have to learn if you never learn anything else. Sign it now, and get on out of here.”
“是的，”我说，“如果你别的什么也学不会，这可是你非学会不可的一件事。在这儿签名，然后快给我离开这儿。”
“Been much busy?” Earl says.
“事情多吗？”艾尔说。
“Now you go on back to school this afternoon, you hear?” I says. She didn’t answer. She crumpled the bill up in her hand like it was a rag or something and went on out the front door just as Earl came in. A customer came in with him and they stopped up front. I gathered up the things and put on my hat and went up front.
“现在你快回学校去上下午课，听见没有？”我说。她没有回答：她把那张钞票放在手心里捏成一团，仿佛那是块破布。她从店面走出去，这时，正好赶上艾尔走进来。一个顾客跟他一起走了进来，他们在店堂前面站住了。我把东西整理好，戴上帽子，走到店堂前面去。
“Not much,” I says. He looked out the door.
“也不算太多。”我说。他朝门外望去，
“That your car over yonder?” he says.”Better not try to go out home to dinner. We’ll likely have another rush just before the show opens. Get you a lunch at Rogers’ and put a ticket in the drawer.”
“那边停着的是你的车吗？”他说。“你最好别回家去吃饭。日场开演之前很可能会又有一阵忙的。你上罗杰斯小吃店去吃了，回头把发|票放在抽屉里。”
“Much obliged,” I says.”I can still manage to feed myself, I reckon.”
“非常感激，”我说。“不过我想一顿饭的钱自己还是出得起的。”
And right there he’d stay, watching that door like a hawk until I came through it again. Well, he’d just have to watch it for a while; I was doing the best I could. The time before I says that’s the last one now; you’ll have to remember to get some more right away. But who can remember anything in all this hurrah. And now this dam show had to come here the one day I’d have to hunt all over town for a blank check, besides all the other things I had to do to keep the house running, and Earl watching the door like a hawk.
他总爱待在这个地方，象只老鹰似的守着这扇门，看我到底什么时候回来。好吧，这一回他可得多等一阵子了；我是想尽量表现得好些的。至少在我说“这可是最后一次替你干活”之前；可是现在最要紧的是要记住再弄点空白支票来。可是在这乱哄哄的节日气氛中，谁又能记住什么事呢。又加上了这个草台班在镇上演出，我今天除了养活一大家人之外，还得满处去寻找一张空白的支票，而艾尔又象只老鹰一样守望着那扇门。
I went back to the store.”Forgot some papers Mother wants to go to the bank,” I says. I went back to the desk and fixed the check. Trying to hurry and all, I says to myself it’s a good thing her eyes are giving out, with that little whore in the house, a Christian forbearing woman like Mother. I says you know just as well as I do what she’s going to grow up into but I says that’s your business, if you want to keep her and raise her in your house just because of Father. Then she would begin to cry and say it was her own flesh and blood so I just says All right. Have it your way. I can stand it if you can.
我回到店里。“忘记拿几张单据了，母亲要我到银行去办一下手续！”我说。我来到办公桌前，把支票填写好。我想快快的把这一切都弄妥，我对自己说，幸亏她现在眼神不太济事了，家中有了那个小騷蹄子，象母亲这样一个虔信基督的妇女，日子当然不会好过。我跟她说，您跟我一样清楚，她长大会变成怎样的一种人。不过假如您为了父亲的缘故而要把地留下来在您家里把她抚养成|人，这也是您的事儿。说到这里她又要哭哭啼啼了，说什么这孽种可是她自己的亲骨肉呀，于是我就说得啦得啦。您爱怎么办就怎么办吧。既然您受得了我也决不会受不了。
I went to the printing shop and told him I wanted to play a joke on a fellow, but he didn’t have anything. Then he told me to have a look in the old opera house, where somebody had stored a lot of papers and junk out of the old Merchants’ and Farmers’ Bank when it failed, so I dodged up a few more alleys so Earl couldn’t see me and finally found old man Simmons and got the key from him and went up there and dug around. At last I found a pad on a Saint Louis bank. And of course she’d pick this one time to look at it close. Well, it would have to do. I couldn’t waste any more time now.
我来到印刷店，说我想跟一个朋友开个玩笑，可是老板说他那儿没有这种东西。接着他叫我到那家老歌剧院去看看，他说以前商农银行倒闭时，有人把一大批废纸和破烂东西都堆在那儿，于是我为了不让艾尔看见就绕了几条小巷，终于找到了西蒙斯老头，跟他要了钥匙，进到里面去翻了起来。最后，总算给我找到一本圣路易银行的空白支票。这一回她肯定是要拿起来细细端详的。不过只能拿它来应付一下了。我没有时间，连一分钟也不能再耽搁了。
“What’s it doing?” I says. I went in and looked. It was three points under; the opening.”You boys are not going to let a little thing like the cotton market beat you, are you?” I says.”I thought you were too smart for that.”
“价钱怎么样了？”我说。我走进去看。比开盘又低了三“点”。“哥们不至于因为棉花行情这样不值一提的小事就蔫儿了吧。对不？”我说。“我以为你们那么聪明，不至于就这样吧？”
“Smart, hell,” Doc says.”It was down twelve points at twelve o’clock. Cleaned me out.”
“聪明个屁，”大夫说。“十二点钟那阵跌了十二‘点’。让我把裤子都赌光了。”
“Twelve points?” I says.”Why the hell didn’t somebody let me know? Why didn’t you let me know?” I says to the operator.
“十二‘点’。”我说。“怎么没人给我递个信儿啊？你干吗不告诉我一声？”我对那报务员说。
I fixed the letter up again and glued it back and went out.
我重新把信塞进封皮，把它粘上，然后往外走去。
“Who can do anything, with a market like that?” Doc says.
“行情这么疲软，谁还能干出什么名堂呢？”大夫说。
“Any of you boys made your million yet?” I says.
“你们谁发了大财，捞进一百万了吗？”我说。
“Try not to be gone any longer than you can help,” Earl says.
“你别出去太久了，”艾尔说。
“I take it as it comes in,” he says.”I’m not running a bucket shop.”
“行情怎么来我就怎么公布，”他说。“我这儿又不是地下交 易所。”
“All right,” I says. I went to the telegraph office. The smart boys were all there.
“好吧，”我说。“我去到电报局。那班机灵鬼都在那儿呢。
“You’re smart, aren’t you?” I says.”Seems to me, with the money I spend with you, you could take time to call me up. Or maybe your dam company’s in a conspiracy with those dam eastern sharks.”
“你既不傻又不愣，是不？”我说。“我在你身上花了那么多钱，你连一分钟也抽不出来给我个电话。你们这天杀的电报公司准是跟东部的投机大王合穿一条裤子的。”
He didn’t say anything. He made like he was busy.
他一声不吭，装作一副很忙的模样。
“Yes,” I says.”If I happened to be selling. I haven’t mentioned that yet, I think. You boys all cleaned out?”
“是啊。”我说，“如果我早上是抛出的话。我还没跟你们提这档子事吧。哥们都赌了吗？”
“What’s the matter with you?” Doc says.”You’re still three points to the good.”
“你这是怎么啦？”大夫说。“你还赚了三‘点’呢。”
“You’re getting a little too big for your pants,” I says.”First thing you know you’ll be working for a living.”
“你是翅膀硬了，小孩的短裤穿不下了，”我说。“下一步，你可该当臭苦力混饭吃了。”
“I got caught twice,” Doc says. “I switched just in time.”
“有两回咱差点翻了船，”大夫说。“幸亏咱转得快。”
“Where the hell have you been?” I says.”Riding around where the wenches could see you?”
“你他娘的开到哪儿去啦？”我说。“在那些黑小妞 面前兜来兜去出风头，是吗？”
“Well,” I. O. Snopes says.”I’ve picked hit; I reckon taint no more than fair fer hit to pick me once in a while.”
“哼，”艾·奥·斯诺普斯①说，“我今儿个运气好，我琢磨好运道过上一阵也得来光顾我一次，这也是公平合理的吧。”（注：①这是另一个做投机买卖的人。）
So I left them buying and selling among themselves at a nickel a point. I found a nigger and sent him for my car and stood on the corner and waited. I couldn’t see Earl looking up and down the street, with one eye on the clock, because I couldn’t see the door from here. After about a week he got back with it.
我走了，让他们自己在按五分钱一“点”的价格买来卖去。我找到一个黑鬼，让他去把我的车子开来，我站在街角等他。我看不见艾尔一只眼睛盯着钟，另一只眼睛在街的这头到那头扫来扫去找我，因为我站的这个地方看不到店面。那黑鬼简直是过了一个星期之后才把车子开来。
“I come straight as I could,” he says.”I had to drive clean around the square, wid all dem wagons.”
“我是想笔直开过来的呀，”他说，“广场上马车那么多，我得绕个大圈子呀。”
I never found a nigger yet that didn’t have an airtight alibi for whatever he did. But just turn one loose in a car and he’s bound to show off. I got in and went on around the square. I caught a glimpse of Earl in the door across the square.
我见到的黑鬼多了，没一个对他们所做的任何事情拿不出无懈可击的理由的。其实呢，你只要让他捞到机会开汽车，他们没一个会不借此机会招摇过市。我坐上汽车，绕着广场转了个圈子。在广场对面，我瞥见了店门里的艾尔。
But she just sat there, holding the check.
可是她只顾坐在那里，拿着那张支票。
“Keep money in two different banks,” I says.
“在两家不同的银行里存钱呀！”我说。
“Do what?” she says.
“办什么事？”她说。
“I guess we’ll get along,” I says.”Come on. Get it over with.”
“我看咱们总能应付过去的，”我说。“来吧。快把它烧了吧。“
“I hate to do it,” she says.”To increase your burden by adding Quentin…”
“我不喜欢这样做，”她说。“多昆丁一个人吃饭，加重了你的负担……”
“Quentin ain’t come yit,” she says.
“昆丁还没回来呢，”她说。
She took the match, but she didn’t strike it. She sat there, looking at the check. Just like I said it would be.
她接过火柴，可是没有划。她坐在那里，盯看着那张支票。我早就料到她会那样的。
“This one is on a different bank,” she says.”They have been on an Indianapolis bank.”
“这一张是另一家银行的，”她说。“以前都是印第安纳波利斯的一家什么银行的。”
I went straight to the kitchen and told Dilsey to hurry up with dinner.
我一直走进厨房，吩咐迪尔西赶紧开午饭。
“What of that?” I says.”You’ll be telling me next that Luster’s not quite ready to eat yet. Quentin knows when meals are served in this house. Hurry up with it, now.”
“那又怎么啦。”我说。“赶明儿你还要说勒斯特还不饿，不想马上吃饭呢。昆丁又不是不知道家里开饭的时间。你快点准备，别罗嗦了。”
Mother was in her room. I gave her the letter. She opened it and took the check out and sat holding it in her hand. I went and got the shovel from the corner and gave her a match.”Come on,” I says.”Get it over with. You’ll be crying in a minute.”
母亲在她自己房里。我把那封信交 给她。她拆开信，把支票拿出来。她坐了下来，手里拿着支票。我走到屋角找来一把煤铲，把火柴递给她。“来吧，”我说，“快把它烧了吧。您一会儿又要哭了。”
“Yes,” I says.”Women are allowed to do that too.”
“是啊，”我说。“女人办事总是这样说不准的。”
“Come on,” I says.”Finish it. Get the fun over.”
“好了，”我说，“快把这事告了吧。让这个玩笑告一结束吧。”
“Oh,” she says. She looked at the check a while.”I’m glad to know she’s so… she has so much… God sees that I am doing right,” she says.
“哦，”她说：“她对着支票看了一会儿。“我很高兴，知道她日子过得这样……她有这么多的……上帝明白我这样做是对的，”她说。
“Fun?” she says.”When I think –“
“玩笑？”她说，“我心里是——”
“I thought you were burning this two hundred dollars a month for fun,” I says.”Come on, now. Want me to strike the match?”
“我一直认为您是作为一个玩笑才每月烧掉二百块钱的，”我说。“好了，来吧。要我划火柴吗？”
“I could bring myself to accept them,” she says.”For my children’s sake. I have no pride.”
“我也可以勉强自己把钱接受下来的，”她说，“这是为了我的子孙。我这人是没什么傲气的。“
“I leave everything to you,” she says.”But sometimes I become afraid that in doing this I am depriving you all of what is rightfully yours. Perhaps I shall be punished for it. If you want me to, I will smother my pride and accept them.”
“我什么都听你的，”她说，“可是有时候我有点担心，这样做剥夺了你应得的钱。也许我会因此受到惩罚。如果你要我接受，我也可以压下我的傲气把支票接受下来。”
“You’d never be satisfied,” I says.”You know you wouldn’t. You’ve settled that once, let it stay settled. We can get along.”
“您这人真是三心二意，”我说，“怎么做也不称您的心。您早就这样做了，就别再变来变去了。咱们日子还对付得下去。”
“What would be the good in beginning now, when you’ve been destroying them for fifteen years?” I says.”If you keep on doing it, you have lost nothing, but if you’d begin to take them now, you’ll have lost fifty thousand dollars. We’ve got along so far, haven’t we?” I says.”I haven’t seen you in the poorhouse yet.”
“您烧支票都烧了有十五年了，现在又想接受，这又有什么好处？”我说。“如果您继续烧，那您什么也没有损失，可是要是您现在开始接受，那您就损失了五万块钱。咱们不是将就着过日子，直到今天了吗？”我说。“您不是还没进贫民院吗。”
“But they are not my daughters,” she says.”It’s not myself,” she says.”I’d gladly take her back, sins and all, because she is my flesh and blood. It’s for Quentin’s sake.”
“可她们不是我的女儿呀！”她说。“倒不是为了我自己，”她说，“我是很愿意收回她的，不管有罪以及别的一切，她毕竟是我的亲骨肉嘛。这是为了小昆丁好。”
“Let her come back,” I says,”far as I’m concerned.”
“您不用管我，”我说。“您让她回来好了。”
Well, I could have said it wasn’t much chance of anybody hurting Quentin much, but like I say I don’t expect much but I do want to eat and sleep without a couple of women squabbling and crying in the house.
哼，我本来可以说，想败坏昆丁那样的烂货可是没门儿。不过我早就说了，我要求不高，只要能在家里吃碗太平饭，睡个安稳觉，不愿有几个妇女在屋子里叽里喳啦乱哭乱闹。
“No,” she says.”I owe that to your father’s memory.”
“不行。”他说。“我一想起你父亲，就觉得不能这样做。”
“Yes,” she says.”We Bascombs need nobody’s charity. Certainly not that of a fallen woman.”
“是的，”她说，“咱们巴斯康家的人不需要任何人的施舍，更不要说一个堕落的女人的了。”
“You don’t understand,” she says.”I know you don’t intend to make it more difficult for me. But it’s my place to suffer for my children,” she says.”I can bear it.”
“你不了解，”她说。“我知道你不想让我的处境更加困难。不过为我的孩子受苦，这是我的本分，”她说。“我忍受得了。”
“There are lots of women in this world no better than her,” I says.
“世界上比她更不好的女人还多的是呢，”我说。
“When he was trying all the time to persuade you to let her come home when Herbert threw her out?” I says.
“想起了父亲在赫伯特抛弃她时，不断想说服您同意让她回家。”我说。
She struck the match and lit the check and put it in the shovel, and then the envelope, and watched them burn.
她划着火柴，点燃了支票，把它放在煤铲里，接着又点着了信封，看着它们燃烧。
“You don’t know what it is,” she says.”Thank God you will never know what a mother feels.”
“你不知道这是一种什么磁味，”她说，“感谢上帝，你永远也体会不到一个为娘的心头的滋味。”
“And yours,” she says.”I know how you feel toward her.”
“也是为了你好，”她说。“我知道你对她的看法如何。”
“Let me never see the day when my children will have to accept that, the wages of sin,” she says.”I’d rather see even you dead in your coffin first.”
“千万别让我看到有那么一天，我的孩子非得接受这笔钱不可，这可是罪恶的代价呀！”她说。“如果有那么一天，我倒宁愿先看到你躺在棺材里的。”
“Have it your way,” I says.”Are we going to have dinner soon?” I says.”Because if we’re not, I’ll have to go on back. We’re pretty busy today.” She got up. “I’ve told her once,” I says.”It seems she’s waiting on Quentin or Luster or somebody. Here, I’ll call her. Wait.” But she went to the head of the stairs and called.
“随您的便吧，”我说。“咱们是不是马上可以吃饭了？”我说，“再不开饭，我可得回店里去了。我们今天忙得很。”她站起身来。“我跟她说过一遍了，”我说。“好象她要等昆丁或是勒斯特还是不知是谁。好了，我来跟她说吧，您等着。”可是她还是走到楼梯口喊了起来。
“Seems to me you go to a lot of unnecessary trouble doing it,” I says. The paper burned out. I carried it to the grate and put it in.”It just seems a shame to me to burn up good money,” I says.
“在我看来，您为了受这份罪，倒花费了许多不必要花的精力啊。”我说。那张纸已经烧成灰了。我把灰端到壁炉前，把它们洒进了炉格子。“我觉得把好好的钱烧掉怪可惜了的。”我说。
“Quentin ain’t come yit,” Dilsey says.
“昆丁还没回来呢，”迪尔西说。
“Well, I’ll have to get on back,” I says.”I can get a sandwich downtown. I don’t want to interfere with Dilsey’s arrangements,” I says. Well, that got her started again, with Dilsey hobbling and mumbling back and forth, saying,
“那我只好先回去了，”我说。“我可以到街上去买一客三明治的。我不想打乱迪尔西的安排，”我说。我这一说她又嚷了起来，害得迪尔西拖着两条不听使唤的腿，踅过来踅过去，嘟嘟哝哝地说：
“I try to please you all,” Mother says.”I try to make things as easy for you as I can.”
“我是想让你们每个人都称心如意，”母亲说，“我想尽量让你们的日子过得舒心些。”
“All right, all right, Ise puttin hit on fast as I kin.”
“好吧！好吧！俺尽快开饭就是啦。”
“I know,” she says.”I know you haven’t had the chance the others had, that you’ve had to bury yourself in a little country store. I wanted you to get ahead. I knew your father would never realise that you were the only one who had any business sense, and then when everything else failed I believed that when she married, and Herbert… after his promise –“
“我知道，”她说，“我知道你的运气不象别人那样好，只能在一家乡村小铺里埋没你的才能。我一直是希望你能出人头地的。我早就知道你父亲根本不理解你是家中唯一有商业头脑的人，后来家道中落了，我还以为凯蒂结婚后那个赫伯特会……他答应过……”
“I’m not complaining, am I?” I says.”Have I said a word except I had to go back to work?”
“我一句抱怨的话也没说，是不是？”我说。”我光说得回店去了，别的还说什么啦？”
“Well, he was probably lying too,” I says.”He may not have even had a bank. And if he had, I don’t reckon he’d if have to come all the way to Mississippi to get a man for it.”
“好了，没准他说的都是假话，”我说。“没准他根本没开过什么银行。即使他开了，他也根本没有必要千里迢迢到密西西比州来招一个小职员。”
We ate a while. I could hear Ben in the kitchen, where Luster was feeding him. Like I say, if we’ve got to feed another mouth and she won’t take that money, why not send him down to Jackson. He’ll be happier there, with people like him. I says God knows there’s little enough room for pride in this family, but it don’t take much pride to not like to see a thirty year old man playing around the yard with a nigger boy, running up and down the fence and lowing like a cow whenever they play golf over there. I says if they’d sent him to Jackson at first we’d all be better off today. I says, you’ve done your duty by him; you’ve done all anybody can expect of you and more than most folks would do, so why not send him there and get that much benefit out of the taxes we pay. Then she says,”I’ll be gone soon. I know I’m just a burden to you” and I says “You’ve been saying that so long that I’m beginning to believe you” only I says you’d better be sure and not let me know you’re gone because I’ll sure have him on number seventeen that night and I says I think I know a place where they’ll take her too and the name of it’s not Milk street and Honey avenue either. Then she begun to cry and I says All right all right I have as much pride about my kinfolks as anybody even if I don’t always know where they come from.
我们吃饭吃了一会儿。我可以听到班在厨房里的声音，勒斯特在那里喂他吃饭。我早就说过，如果我们得多喂一张嘴，而母余又不愿接受那笔钱，那干吗不干脆把他送到杰克逊去呢。他和情况相同的人在一起，只会感到快乐的。我说，老天爷清楚，咱们这样的家庭是再没什么可以骄傲的了。可是不想看见一个三十岁的大人在院子里跟一个小黑鬼一块儿玩，沿着栅栏跑来跑去j每逢那边打高尔夫球就象一头牛那样哞哞叫起来——不想看见这个景象，也不需要多少骄傲呀。我说，要是当初一开始就把他送到杰克逊去，我们今天的日子会好过得多。我说，您也算是对他尽了您的责任了，人家指望您做的一切事情，您也都做了，而且做得过了头，那么，干吗不把他送到那儿去，我们纳了税还不该享受点国家的福利吗。这时候她说了：“我也不久于人世了。我知道我仅仅是你们的一个累赘。”于是我说，“您这话也不知说了有多少年了，连我都不免有点相信了，”只不过我说您最好别光是回头上说说，没个准儿，而且千万别让我知道，因为我肯定要让班吉不过夜就坐十六次车去杰克逊。我又说，我还知道有一个地方能安置她，那儿反正既非牛奶巷也不是蜂蜜路②。说到这里她又哭了起来，我就说：好了！好了！我也跟旁人一样是很为自己的亲人而骄傲的，虽然我并不总能搞清楚他们的来历。
“What can I do,” she says.”You have all of you flouted me. Always.”
“你们叫我怎么活呀，”她说。“你们每个人全都跟我作对，老是跟我作对。
“It’s addressed to you,” she says.
“信是写给你的，”她说。
“Don’t let her, then,” I says.
“那您别派她去看好了！”我说。
“If you wouldn’t come interfering, I’d make her mind,” I says.”It wouldn’t take me but about one day to straighten her out.”
“只要您不插手，我是可以让她乖乖地听话的，”我说。“用不了一天，我就能让她就范。”
“You’d be too brutal with her,” she says.”You have your Uncle Maury’s temper.”
“你一定会用很野蛮的方法对待她，”她说。“你有你毛莱舅舅的脾气。”
You will be glad to learn that I am now in a position to avail myself of an opportunity regarding which, for reasons which I shall make obvious to you, I shall not go into details until I have an opportunity to divulge it to you in a more secure manner. My business experience has taught me to be chary of committing anything of a confidential nature to any more concrete medium than speech, and my extreme precaution in this instance should give you some inkling of its value. Needless to say, I have just completed a most exhaustive examination of all its phases, and I feel no hesitancy in telling you that it is that sort of golden chance that comes but once in a lifetime, and I now see clearly before me that goal toward which I have long and unflaggingly striven: i. e., the ultimate solidification of my affairs by which I may restore to its rightful position that family of which I have the honor to be the sole remaining male descendant; that family in which I have ever included your lady mother and her children.
你一定乐于知悉，我最近得到机会从事某项事业。至于该事业的具体情况，我当在更恰当的场合下向你透露，信中不便明讲。我之所以暂先保密，原因倒不妨向你讲请。我从商多年，经验告诉我，凡遇机密事宜，千万谨慎为要，切不可用比当面叙述更进一步的方式向他人交代。我态度如此慎重，则此项事业之价值，你定可揣度几分。无庸多言，我对此项事业各个方面已作过极彻底之审查。我可以毫不踌躇地告诉你，此乃千载难逢之良机，我如今已清楚见到自己长期以来孜孜以求的目标终于出现在面前，我个人的经济状况将大大改善，而家业亦可借以复兴。说来惭愧，巴斯康这一名门望族男子中如今只剩我为惟一的子遗了；当然，我是把你淑女出身的母亲以及我的甥辈都视同家人的。
“She knows better than that,” Mother says.”She knows I don’t permit her to run about the streets and not come home at meal time. Did you look good, Dilsey?”
“她知道应该回来吃！”母亲说，“她知道我是不允许她在街上乱跑。吃饭时不回家的。你方才好好看了吗，迪尔西？”
“I keep telling you she’s not coming to dinner,” I says.
“我不是跟您说了几遍了，她中饭不会来吃了！”我说。
That reminded me of the letter. I took it out and handed it to her.”You won’t have to open it,” I says.”The bank will let you know how much it is this time.”
这旬话倒提醒了我。我把信掏出来递给她。“这信您都用不着拆，”我说。“反正银行会通知您这回支了多少钱的。”
“Go on and open it,” I says. She opened it and read it and handed it to me.
“您拆吧，”我说。她拆开信，看了以后又递回给我。
My dear young nephew, it says,
信上是这样写的：我亲爱的小外甥：
We ate for a while. Mother sent Dilsey to the front to look for Quentin again.
我们吃了一会儿。母亲又让迪尔西到大门回去看看昆丁来了没有。
As it so happens, I am not quite in a position to avail myself of this opportunity to the uttermost which it warrants, but rather than go out of the family to do so, I am today drawing upon your Mother’s bank for the small sum necessary to complement my own initial investment, for which I herewith enclose, as a matter of formality, my note of hand at eight percent, per annum. Needless to say, this is merely a formality, to secure your Mother in the event of that circumstance of which man is ever the plaything and sport. For naturally I shall employ this sum as though it were my own and so permit your Mother to avail herself of this opportunity which my exhaustive investigation has shown to be a bonanza — if you will permit the vulgarism — of the first water and purest ray serene.
不过，由于种种原因，我暂且尚未达到能充分利用这一良机的地步，还需继续努力，为不使权益外溢起见，我今天拟从你母亲存款中提取所需之一笔小款，以补足我自己的第一笔投资。随函附上我亲笔所书年，客人厘借据一纸，以稗手续完备无误。无庸赘言，此乃一种形式，目的无非使你母亲在变幻无常的社会中能得到某种保障。自然，我将把这笔款子和包皮己的投资同等对待，这样，你母亲就可以在我细心查明确为名副其实的发横财——请原谅我用语鄙俗——的大好机会中，分享一部分利益。
This is in confidence, you will understand, from one business man to another; we will harvest our own vineyards, eh? And knowing your Mother’s delicate health and that timorousness which such delicately nurtured Southern ladies would naturally feel regarding matters of business, and their charming proneness to divulge unwittingly such matters in conversation, I would suggest that you do not mention it to her at all. On second thought, I advise you not to do so. It might be better to simply restore this sum to the bank at some future date, say, in a lump sum with the other small sums for which I am indebted to her, and say nothing about it at all. It is our duty to shield her from the crass material world as much as possible.
你定能理解，我的开诚布公意味着一个商界人士对一个同行的信任，我们日后可以共同收获这一丰美的果园，你意下如何？鉴于你母亲孱弱的体质与南方大家闺秀视银钱事务为畏途，鉴于妇道人家易子闲谈间不智地泄露机密，我意在她面前先不提此事为宜。我经过反复考虑，认为保持缄默实为上策。今后某一时日，我当将此笔款项连同我陆续所借其它款项一并存进银行，而根本不向她提及此事，如此似更为妥善。我辈须眉男子，实不应将此等粗俗银钱事务打拢你母亲这样的大家闺秀。
“I could make it easier right now,” I says.”All right, all right, I won’t mention it again. Move all bedlam in here if you want to.”
“我本来可以让日子现在就轻松些的，”我说。“好吧！好吧！我再也不提这件事了。你愿意的活，把整个疯人院设在咱们家也行。”
Maury L. Bascomb.
毛莱·巴斯廉
“What do you want to do about it?” I says, flipping it across the table.
“您准备怎么办？”我说，一边把信飞旋着朝桌子对面扔过去。
“I’ll take your bank book,” I says.”I’ll draw my check today.”
“我要把您的存折带去，”我说，“我今天要兑换支票。”
“That’ll be hard on somebody, I guess,” I says.”All right, all right,” I says.”It’s your money. Do as you please with it. You want me to tell the bank to pay it?”
“我琢磨这种事对某些人来说也是不太好受的，”我说。“好吧！好吧！”我说。“这是您的钱。您爱怎么办就怎么办。您要我通知银行照付吗？”
“He’s my own brother,” Mother says.”He’s the last Bascomb. When we are gone there won’t be any more of them.”
“他是我的亲兄弟，”母亲说。“他是巴斯康家最后一个男子了。我们死了就断了巴斯康这一姓了。”
Your affectionate Uncle,
挚爱你的舅舅
“I know you begrudge him,” she says.”I realise the burden on your shoulders. When I’m gone it will be easier on you.”
“我知道你对他不满，”她说。“我知道你肩膀上的担子很重。我眼睛一闭之后你就会轻松了。”
“He’s your own brother,” she says.”Even if he is afflicted.”
“他可是你的亲兄弟啊，”她说，“虽然他有毛病。”
“He kept you waiting six days,” she says.”Are you sure the business is sound? It seems strange to me that a solvent business cannot pay its employees promptly.”
“他①老是拖延六天才给你发薪水，”她说。“你看他的买卖靠得住吗？我总觉得奇怪，一家不拖不欠的字号为什么不能准时发薪水。”（注：①指艾尔。杰生要用母亲的存折去兑现每月六号所收到的凯蒂汇来的支票；便谎称艾尔拖欠六天才给他开他薪水的支票。）
“I know you grudge what I give him,” she says.
“我知道你不乐意我给他钱，”她说。
“It’s your money,” I says.”If you want to throw it to the birds even, it’s your business.”
“那是您的钱，”我说。“即使您想用它来打鸟，那也是您自己的事。”
“No, you let him alone,” I says.”It’s his business.”
“不，您别去管他，”我说。“那是他的字号。”
“I just couldn’t bear to have you lose the little I had to invest for you,” she says.”I’ve often thought that Earl is not a good business man. I know he doesn’t take you into his confidence to the extent that your investment in the business should warrant. I’m going to speak to him.”
“我实在是不忍心看到你丧失我为你投资的那一小笔款子，”她说。“我常常觉得艾尔并不是一个精明的买卖人。我知道，你在他店里投了资，理应有一些权，可是他却对你不够信任。我要去跟他谈一谈。”
“He’s all right,” I says.”Safe as a bank. I tell him not to bother about mine until we get done collecting every month. That’s why it’s late sometimes.”
“他没有问题，”我说。“象一家银行那样稳妥可靠。我告诉他别管我，先结清每个月的账再说。有时候拖延几天的原因就在这上头。”
“You let him alone,” I says.”I’m watching things. I have your power of attorney. It’ll be all right.”
“您别去管他，”我说，“我在留神着呢。我有您的委托代理权。不会有什么问题的。”
“You have a thousand dollars in it.”
“你在里面有一千块钱的股本呢。”
“You don’t know what a comfort you are to me,” she says.”You have always been my pride and joy, but when you came to me of your own accord and insisted on banking your salary each month in my name, I thanked God it was you left me if they had to be taken.”
“你不知道你对我来说是多么大的安慰，”她说。“你一直是我的骄傲。我的喜悦，当你自愿来跟我说，坚持要把你每个月的薪水用我的名义存入银行时，我感谢上帝，因为他把他们带到天堂去，却把你留给了我。”
“When you talk that way I know you are thinking bitterly of your father’s memory,” she says.”You have a right to, I suppose. But it breaks my heart to hear you.”
“你用这种口气讲话，我知道你是在埋怨你那死去的父亲。”她说。“照说，你也是有权利埋怨的。不过听到你这样讲话，我的心都要碎了。”
“They were all right,” I says.”They did the best they could, I reckon.”
“他们都是很好的人，”我说。“我琢磨，他们也都尽了自己的责任。”
“I don’t expect you to do anything,” he says.”They changed that law making folks play the cotton market.”
“我料你也不能再有什么作为了，”他说。“人家修改了法律，不让在棉花市场上买空卖空了。”
“Keep still,” I says.”I’ll get it.” I went up stairs and got the bank book out of her desk and went back to town. I went to the bank and deposited the check and the money order and the other ten, and stopped at the telegraph office. It was one point above the opening. I had already lost thirteen points, all because she had to come helling in there at twelve, worrying me about that letter.
“您别挪窝了，”我说。“我去取吧。”我上楼去从她写字桌里取出存折，回到镇上去。我来到银行，把支票、汇单连同那十块钱都存了进去，又在电报局停留了一会儿。现在又比开盘时涨了一“点”。我已经烛了十三“点”了，这全都是因为十二点那会儿她来捣乱，拿那封信的事来分我的心。
“What time did that report come in?” I says.
“那份行情是什么时候收到的？”我说。
I got up.”If you’ve got any crying to do,” I says,”you’ll have to do it alone, because I’ve got to get on back. I’ll get the bank book.”
我站起身来。“下一步您该失声痛哭了，”我说，“不过恕我不能奉陪，您要哭只好一个人独自哭了，因为我得回去上班了。我现在去取那个存折。”
“I’ll get it,” she says.
“我给你取去，”她说。
“About an hour ago,” he says.
“大约一小时之前，”那人说。
“An hour ago?” I says.”What are we paying you for?” I says.”Weekly reports? How do you expect a man to do anything? The whole dam top could blow off and we’d not know it.”
“一小时？”我说。“我们给你钱是干什么的？”我说，“是为了每星期得到一次商情总结吗？这叫别人怎么能有所作为呢？连屋顶都掀掉了咱们还蒙在鼓里呢。”
I went back to the store. Thirteen points. Dam if I believe anybody knows anything about the dam thing except the ones that sit back in those New York offices and watch the country suckers come up and beg them to take their money. Well, a man that just calls shows he has no faith in himself, and like I say if you aren’t going to take the advice, what’s the use in paying money for it. Besides, these people are right up there on the ground; they know everything that’s going on. I could feel the telegram in my pocket. I’d just have to prove that they were using the telegraph company to defraud. That would constitute a bucket shop. And I wouldn’t hesitate that long, either. Only be damned if it doesn’t look like a company as big and rich as the Western Union could get a market report out on time. Half as quick as they’ll get a wire to you saying Your account closed out. But what the hell do they care about the people. They’re hand in glove with that New York crowd. Anybody could see that.
我回到店里。十三“点”。我才不相信有谁了解这里面的奥妙呢；除了那些坐在纽约办公室里的大老板，他们等着乡下的土老儿捧着银钱来到他们跟前求他们开恩收下。嗯，一个方才打电话的人显出他对自己没什么信心了，我早就说了，如果你不打算听取别人的意见，那么你为这事付钱还有什么意思呢。再说，这些人都是局内人，他们是了解一切情况的。我口袋里就有一封电报。我只需证明他们利用电报局搞欺诈活动，就可以落实那是一家非法的投机公司了。我从来也不是一个举棋不定的人。只是他妈的，它得象“西联”那样，是一家规模宏大。资本雄厚的公司，才能做到准时发出行情报告啊。他们迫不及待地给你发来一封电报，说什么“尊户今日账目业已结清”。可是他们才不管别人的死活呢。他们是跟纽约集团 位涤一气的。这是明摆着的，谁都看得出来。
“They have?” I says.”I hadn’t heard. They must have sent the news out over the Western Union.”
“修改了吗？”我说。“我还没听说这档子事呢。这消息准是西联公司①播发的。（注：①美国的一家电报公司。）
“I’ll trade you this tooth and give you ten dollars to boot, any time,” I says.”Our agreement was an hour for dinner,” I says,”and if you don’t like the way I do, you know what you can do about it.”
“我这颗至牙任何时候都愿意出让，另外还可以倒贴你十块钱，”我说。“咱们原先的协定是中午可以有一小时吃饭时间，”我说。“如果你对我的行为不满意，该怎么办你很清楚。”
“You go home to dinner?”
“你回家去吃午饭啦？”
When I came in Earl looked at his watch. But he didn’t say anything until the customer was gone. Then he says,
我走进店里，艾尔瞧了瞧他的表。可是他没吭声。等顾客走了，他才说：
“You might have told me,” he says.”I expected you back right away.”
“你应该跟我说一声的，”他说。“我还以为你会马上回来的呢。”
“I’ve known that some time,” he says.”If it hadn’t been for your mother I’d have done it before now, too. She’s a lady I’ve got a lot of sympathy for, Jason. Too bad some other folks I know can’t say as much.”
“这我很清楚，也有一阵子了，”他说。“要不是看在你母亲份上。我早就要发作了。她是一位我非常同情的太太，杰生。可惜的是我认识的其他人并不值得我同情。”
“I had to go to the dentist,” I says because it’s not any of his business where I eat but I’ve got to be in the store with him all the afternoon. And with his jaw running off after all I’ve stood. You take a little two by four country storekeeper like I say it takes a man with just five hundred dollars to worry about it fifty thousand dollars’worth.
“我牙疼，得去看牙，”我说。我之所以这样说，是因为我在哪儿吃饭与他毫不相干，但是我还得和他一起在店里呆上整整一个下午。我罪已经受够了，若是他再要唠叨个没完就可真要受不了啦。我早就说过，要是一家乡村小店老板的话你也把它当一回事，那以后只有五百块钱家底的人也要摆出一副有五万块的架势了。
“Then you can keep it,” I says.”When we need any sympathy I’ll let you know in plenty of time.”
“这种同情你还是留给自己受用吧，”我说。“我们什么时候需要会预先通知你的。”
“You think so, do you?” I says.”When are you going to spread the news that I stole it from my mother?”
“你以为你知道，是吗？”我说。“你打算什么时候出去广为传播，说我是从母亲那里偷来的呢？”
“Yes?” I says, letting him go on. Listening to what he would say before I shut him up.
“是吗？”我说，我让他往下说。先听听他要说些什么，然后再堵他的嘴。
“I’ve protected you about that business a long time, Jason,” he says.
“你干那种勾当，我给你掩责已经有很久了，杰生，”他说。
“I don’t say anything,” he says.”I know you have her power of attorney. And I know she still believes that thousand dollars is in this business.”
“我什么也没说，”他说，“我知道你有她委托的代理权。我也知道她仍然以为我这个买卖里有她一千块钱的股本。”
“I don’t say anything,” he says.”I just ask you to be a little more careful after this.”
“我什么也没说，”他说，“我只不过希望你以后最好小心些。”
“I believe I know more about where that automobile came from than she does.”
“你那辆汽车是怎么弄来的？我相信我比她知道得更清楚。”
I never said anything more. It doesn’t do any good. I’ve found that when a man gets into a rut the best thing you can do is let him stay there. And when a man gets it in his head that he’s got to tell something on you for your own good, goodnight. I’m glad I haven’t got the sort of conscience I’ve got to nurse like a sick puppy all the time. If I’d ever be as careful over anything as he is to keep his little shirt tail full of business from making him more than eight percent. I reckon he thinks they’d get him on the usury law if he netted more than eight percent. What the hell chance has a man got, tied down in a town like this and to a business like this. Why I could take his business in one year and fix him so he’d never have to work again, only he’d give it all away to the church or something. If there’s one thing gets under my skin, it’s a dam hypocrite. A man that thinks anything he don’t understand all about must be crooked and that first chance he gets he’s morally bound to tell the third party what’s none of his business to tell. Like I say if I thought every time a man did something I didn’t know all about he was bound to be a crook, I reckon I wouldn’t have any trouble finding something back there on those books that you wouldn’t see any use for running and telling somebody I thought ought to know about it, when for all I knew they might know a dam sight more about it now than I did, and if they didn’t it was dam little of my business anyway and he says,”My books are open to anybody. Anybody that has any claim or believes she has any claim on this business can go back there and welcome.”
我也不再说什么了。说了也没用。我早就发现一个人思想僵化以后，最好的办法就是让他去死死抱住自己的成见不放。当有人自以为有什么逆耳的忠言要奉劝你时，最好的办法就是向他说一声“晚安，再见”。我很庆幸自己没有那种脆弱的良心，否则，就得象看护有病的小狗似的老得哄着这良心了。如果我得象他那样，处处谨慎小心，千万不让自己的小本买卖赢利超过百分之八，那我真还不如死了的好。我琢磨他以为只要超过了百分之八，政府就会拿禁止重利盘剥法来收拾他的。一个人给捆在这样一个小镇上，捆在这样一个死气沉沉的买卖里，还有什么盼头。哼，要是让我把他的买卖接过来，一年之内，我可以让他下半辈子再也不用干活；不过他又会把钱全都捐给教会什么的。如果说有什么让我最最不能容忍，那就是一个伪善者了。这种人以为凡是他没有完全弄清楚的事里面就有溪跷之处，一有机会他就觉得自己在道义上有责任把这跟他根本无关的亭去告诉第三者。依我说，如果我觉得每逢有人干了一件我不太明白的事我就认为他是一个骗子，那么，至少我可以不费吹灰之力就从店堂后面他那堆账本里找出一些问题来，这些账本在一般人看来根本不值得为此奔走相告，不值得去告诉我认为应该知道的人，这些人知道的实际情况没准比我知道的还多呢，而且即使他们不知道，那也不关我的屁事。这时候艾尔说，“我的账本是对任何人都公开的。任何有关的人或是自以为在本字号内有权益的女士都可以到后面房间来查阅，我是无比欢迎的。”
“All right,” I says.”Since you know so much, I’ll tell you a little more: go to the bank and ask them whose account I’ve been depositing a hundred and sixty dollars on the first of every month for twelve years.”
“好吧，”我说，“既然你知道得这么多，我不妨再给你透露一点：你上银行里去打听打听，十二年来，我每月初一存入一百六十元，是存在谁的名下的。”
“Sure, you won’t tell,” I says.”You couldn’t square your conscience with that. You’ll just take her back there and let her find it. You won’t tell, yourself.”
“当然罗，你是不会说的，”我说①，“你还没能说服自己的良心来这样做呢。你仅仅会把她带到后面的账房间去让她自己去发现。你自己是不会说的。”（注：①杰生这一句话接上页第11行艾尔所说”我什么也没说”一语。）
“Well, then,” I says.”I reckon that conscience of yours is a more valuable clerk than I am; it don’t have to go home at noon to eat. Only don’t let it interfere with my appetite,” I says, because how the hell can I do anything right, with that dam family and her not making any effort to control her nor any of them like that time when she happened to see one of them kissing Caddy and all next day she went around the house in a black dress and a veil and even Father couldn’t get her to say a word except crying and saying her little daughter was dead and Caddy about fifteen then only in three years she’d been wearing haircloth or probably sandpaper at that rate. Do you think I can afford to have her running about the streets with every drummer that comes to town, I says, and them telling the new ones up and down the road where to pick up a hot one when they made Jefferson. I haven’t got much pride, I can’t afford it with a kitchen full of niggers to feed and robbing the state asylum of its star freshman. Blood, I says, governors and generals. It’s a dam good thing we never had any kings and presidents; we’d all be down there at Jackson chasing butterflies. I says it’d be bad enough if it was mine; I’d at least be sure it was a bastard to begin with, and now even the Lord doesn’t know that for certain probably.
“那么，”我说，“依我看，比起我来，你的良心是个更得力的伙计罗；它到了中午不用回家去吃饭。不过，可别让你的良心来败坏我的胃口，”我说，因为我的天哪，我怎能把事情办好呢，有那么一个家，有那么一个母亲，她一点不管束凯蒂也不管束任何人，就象那回她恰巧撞见有个小伙子在吻凯蒂，第二天一整天她穿了丧服戴了面纱在屋子里转来转去，连父亲也设法让她说出一句话，她仅仅是一面哭一面说她的小女儿死了，而凯蒂当时还只有十五岁，照这样下去，要不了三年我妈就得穿上苦行僧的粗毛约成的内衣，说不定还是用沙皮纸糊的呢。我说，瞅着她①跟每一个新到镇上来的推销员在大街上兜过来逛过去，你们以为我受得了吗？他们走了，还要跟路上碰到的推销员说，到了杰弗生，可以上哪儿去找一个热辣辣的小妞。我并不是个死要面子活受罪的人，我不能白白养活一厨房的黑鬼，也不想把州立精神病院的一年级优秀生硬留在家里。血统高贵，我说，祖上出过好几位州长和将军呢。幸亏咱们祖上没出过国王与总统，否则的话，咱们全家都要到杰克逊去扑蝴蝶了呢。我说，如果班是我的孩子，那当然很糟糕；不过我至少可以从一开头就确定这是一个外来的野种，可是到现在这个地步，即使让上帝老儿来判断，他也弄不清这笔糊涂账了。（注：①此处的“她”又是指小昆丁了。）
“I’m not trying to meddle in your business,” he says.”I know you missed out on some things like Quentin had. But your mother has had a misfortunate life too, and if she was to come in here and ask me why you quit, I’d have to tell her. It ain’t that thousand dollars. You know that. It’s because a man never gets anywhere if fact and his ledgers don’t square. And I’m not going to lie to anybody, for myself or anybody else.”
“我无意干预你的事务，”他说。“我知道你也象昆丁一样，在某些方面很不得意。不过你母亲命也是够苦的，如果她上这儿来问我你为什么辞职不干，我就只能如实奉告。那倒不是因为那一千块本身。这你是明白的。问题是，如果一个人的实际情况与他的账面不符，那么这个人是什么也于不成的。而且我也不想对任何人说谎，不论是为我自己的事还是为别人的事。”
“Well,” I says.”If you don’t look out, that bolt will grow into your hand. And then I’m going to take an axe and chop it out. What do you reckon the boll-weevils’ll eat if you don’t get those cultivators in shape to raise them a crop?” I says,”sage grass?”
“喂，”我说，“你要不留神，那颗螺栓就会长进你的肉里去。到那时我可要拿把斧子来把它砍掉了。如果你不把那些中耕机装好，不让农民种好棉花，象鼻虫又吃什么呢？”我说，“莫非要它们吃鼠尾草不成？”
“Dem folks sho do play dem horns,” he says.”Tell me man in dat show kin play a tune on a handsaw. Pick hit like a banjo.”
“那些人小喇叭吹得真不赖呀！”约伯说。“人家说戏班子里有个人能用手锯奏出曲子来，就跟拨弄一只班卓琴似的。”
So after a while I heard the band start up, and then they begun to clear out. Headed for the show, every one of them. Haggling over a twenty cent hame string to save fifteen cents, so they can give it to a bunch of Yankees that come in and pay maybe ten dollars for the privilege. I went on out to the back.
过了一会儿，我听见乐队吹打了起来，这时店里一点一点走空了。每个人都是朝演出的场子走去的。他们在两毛钱的马鞍绳上斤斤计较，为的是省下一毛五来孝敬那伙北方佬。这伙骗子来到镇上，为了取得演出的权利也许只付了十块钱。我走出后门，来到后院。
“You mean dey pays ten dollars jest to give dey show here?” he says.
“您是说为了能在这地方演出他们述得交 十块钱？”他说。
“Listen,” I says.”Do you know how much that show’ll spend in this town? About ten dollars,” I says.”The ten dollars Buck Turpin has in his pocket right now.”
“听着，”我说。“你知道这场演出会给咱们这个镇带来多少财富？大约十块钱，”我说，“也就是这会儿躺在布克·透平①袋里的那张十块钱的钞票。”（注：①可能是当地的一个行政长官的名字。）
“Whut dey give Mr Buck ten dollars fer?” he says.
“干吗他们要给布克先生十块钱呢？”他说，
“For the privilege of showing here,” I says.”You can put the balance of what they’ll spend in your eye.”
“为了取得在这儿演出的权利呀，”我说。“这样你能算出来他们让你大饱眼福所花的本钱了吧。”
“Gret day,” he says.”You mean to tell me dey chargin um to let um show here? I’d pay ten dollars to see dat man pick dat saw, ef I had to. I figures dat tomorrow mawnin I be still owin um nine dollars and six bits at dat rate.”
“天哪，”他说，“您是说，当局向戏班子收了费，然后才答应戏班子在这儿演出？要按我说，为了看那人表演拉锯，要拿出十块钱咱也干呀。按这样算，明儿早上咱还欠他们九块七毛五呢。”
“I don’t begridge um. I kin sho afford my two bits.”
“这咱也不眼红，两毛五的门票钱咱还是出得起的。”
“That’s all,” I says.”And how much do you reckon –“
“可不就是这么多，”我说。“你认为他们得交 ……”
And then a Yankee will talk your head off about niggers getting ahead. Get |hem ahead, what I say. Get them so far ahead you can’t find one south of Louisville with a blood hound. Because when I told him about how they’d pick up Saturday night and carry off at least a thousand dollars out of the county, he says,
哼，北方佬还跟我们一个劲儿他说，要提高黑鬼的地位哪。让他们提高去，我总是这么说。让他们走得远远的，使得路易斯维尔②以南牵着猎狗也再找不出一个，这不是吗？我正告诉约伯到星期六晚上戏班子就会打点行李带上至少一千块钱离开咱们这个县，他却说：（注：②肯塔基州北部一大城。此处杰生的意思是：既然北方人那么喜欢黑人，那就让黑人都到北方去。）
“Two bits hell,” I says.”That don’t begin it. How about the dime or fifteen cents you’ll spend for a dam two cent box of candy or something. How about the time you’re wasting right now, listening to that band.”
“什么两毛五，”我说。“两毛五连个零头都不够。他们把两分钱一盒的块儿糖卖给你；敲你竹杠，收你一毛钱甚至一毛五。你现在站在这里听那个乐队吹打，白白浪费了时间，这时间难道本要钱的？”
“Dat’s de troof,” he says.”Well, ef I lives twell night hit’s gwine to be two bits mo dey takin out of town, dat’s sho.”
“这倒不假，”他说。“嗯，要是咱今儿晚上还活得好好的，那他们走的时候义要多带走两毛五了，这是明摆着的。”
“Then you’re a fool,” I says.
“这说明你根本就是个笨蛋。”我说。
“Well,” he says.”I don’t spute dat neither. Ef dat uz a crime, all chaingangs wouldn’t be black.”
“嗯，”他说，“这咱也不跟您理论。如果笨有罪，那么苦役队里的囚犯就不会都是黑皮肤的了。”
Well, just about that time I happened to look up the alley and saw her. When I stepped back and looked at my watch I didn’t notice at the time who he was because I was looking at the watch. It was just two thirty, fortyfive minutes before anybody but me expected her to be out. So when I looked around the door the first thing I saw was the red tie he had on and I was thinking what the hell kind of a man would wear a red tie. But she was sneaking along the alley, watching the door, so I wasn’t thinking anything about him until they had gone past. I was wondering if she’d have so little respect for me that she’d not only play out of school when I told her not to, but would walk right past the store, daring me not to see her. Only she couldn’t see into the door because the sun fell straight into it and it was like trying to see through an automobile searchlight, so I stood there and watched her go on past, with her face painted up like a dam clown’s and her hair all gummed and twisted and a dress that if a woman had come out doors even on Gayoso or Beale street when I was a young fellow with no more than that to cover her legs and behind, she’d been thrown in jail. I’ll be damned if they don’t dress like they were trying to make every man they passed on the street want to reach out and clap his hand on it. And so I was thinking what kind of a dam man would wear a red tie when all of a sudden I knew he was one of those show folks well as if she’d told me. Well, I can stand a lot; if I couldn’t dam if I wouldn’t be in a hell of a fix, so when they turned the corner I jumped down and followed. Me, without any hat, in the middle of the afternoon, having to chase up and down back alleys because of my mother’s good name. Like I say you can’t do anything with a woman like that, if she’s got it in her. If it’s in her blood, you can’t do anything with her. The only thing you can do is to get rid of her, let her go on and live with her own sort.
好，就在这个时候，我偶然抬起头来朝小巷里望去，一眼看见了她。我倒退一步，看看我的表，这时我没注意旁边那个男的是谁，因为我正在看表。这时还只有两点三十分，比人们预料一我当然不在此例一她会从学校出来的时候早四十五分钟。我眼光朝门外扫过去，首先映入我眼帘的是他身上的那条红领带。我当时想，打红领带的究竟是何等路数的人呢。可是因为这时地正一边盯着店门，一边沿着小巷的墙根蹑手蹑脚地溜过去，所以我当时还来不及考虑这男的是什么人。我在想，她眼里真是一点也没有我了，我叫她上学，她偏要逃学，不仅如此，她居然还敢从店门走过，也不怕我会看见她。只是她看不见店里的情形，因为太陽正好对准了朝店里照，要看它就跟看汽车的车头灯光一样晃眼，因此我躲在门里瞧她走过，她那张脸涂抹得象猢狲屁股一样，她的头发用什么粘滋滋的油抹过，梳成了个怪发型。在我年轻那会儿，要是有个女人穿了这么短几乎遮不住大腿和屁股的裙子到外面来，即使是在声名狼藉的盖约苏街或比尔街①上，也会给抓起来的。老实说，女人穿这种衣服。目的就是让街上过往的男人看了都忍不住要伸出手去摸一把。我正冥思苦想，在琢磨究竟是哪一号人才会打红领带，忽然恍然大悟，这不就是戏班子里的一个戏子吗，这事我可以说是拿稳了。就跟她亲口告诉我的一样。哼，我这人是能屈能伸的；如果我不是有时能把一口气忍下去，那我这人还不定今天会怎样了呢，因此，等他们一拐弯，我马上跳出店门跟踪起来。我连帽子都没戴，在大白天居然在后街小巷里钉别人的梢，这可完全是为了维护我母亲的名誉啊，我早就说过，如果一个女人胎里坏，那你是没有办法的。如果她血液里有下贱的根子，那你怎么拉也拉她不起来。惟一的办法就是把她甩开，让她跟臭味相投的人泡在一起，死活由她去。（注：①孟菲斯的两条街，曾是下等娱乐场所集中之处。）
I went on to the street, but they were out of sight. And there I was, without any hat, looking like I was crazy too. Like a man would naturally think, one of them is crazy and another one drowned himself and the other one was turned out into the street by her husband, what’s the reason the rest of them are not crazy too. All the time I could see them watching me like a hawk, waiting for a chance to say Well I’m not surprised I expected it all the time the whole family’s crazy. Selling land to send him to Harvard and paying taxes to support a state University all the time that I never saw except twice at a baseball game and not letting her daughter’s name be spoken on the place until after a while Father wouldn’t even come down town anymore but just sat there all day with the decanter I could see the bottom of his nightshirt and his bare legs and hear the decanter clinking until finally T. P. had to pour it for him and she says You have no respect for your Father’s memory and I says I don’t know why not it sure is preserved well enough to last only if I’m crazy too God knows what I’ll do about it just to look at water makes me sick and I’d just as soon swallow gasoline as a glass of whiskey and Lorraine telling them he may not drink but if you don’t believe he’s a man I can tell you how to find out she says If I catch you fooling with any of these whores you know what I’ll do she says I’ll whip her grabbing at her I’ll whip her as long as I can find her she says and I says if I don’t drink that’s my business but have you ever found me short I says I’ll buy you enough beer to take a bath in if you want it because I’ve got every respect for a good honest whore because with Mother’s health and the position I try to uphold to have her with no more respect for what I try to do for her than to make her name and my name and my Mother’s name a byword in the town.
我来到大街上，可是已经不见他们的影子了。我就站在那里。连帽子也没戴，好象我也是个疯子似的。别人自然会这样想：这家人一个是傻子，另一个投河自尽了，姑娘又被自己的丈夫给甩了，这么看说这一家子别的人也全都是疯子，岂不是顺理成章的吗。我站在街上的时候，可以看到人们象兀鹰那样盯着看我，单等有机会可以说：哼，可不是，果然不出我之所料，我早就觉得这家人全都是疯疯癫癫的。卖了地供他①去上哈佛大学，多年来纳税资助一家州立大学这学校除了在举行棒球联赛时我进去过两口之外平时跟它毫无关系还不让在家里提她②女儿的名字到后来父亲都不到镇上去了他整天就抱着一只酒瓶坐在那里我眼前还能看见他的睡袍的下摆和他那双赤裸的腿脚能听到酒瓶倒酒时发比的叮当声到最后他自己连酒都倒不动了只好让T·P·帮他倒她②还说你国忆起你的亡父时丝毫没有敬意我说我不明白为什么不是这样我对他的回忆一直深深地扎根在我的脑子里除非连我自己也疯了那才天知道我该怎么办我连看见水都会恶心要我喝威士忌我宁愿一口吞下一杯汽油洛仑告诉大伙儿他喝酒也许不行可是如果你们不相信他是个真正的男子汉我倒可以告诉你们怎么才能知道他的确是她还说要是让我哪天这着你跟那个小娼妇厮混在一起我要让你知道我的厉害他说我要抽她①掐她只要她没有一溜烟跑得无影无踪我就要不断地甩鞭子抽她她这么说我就说了我不喝酒那是我个人的事不过如果你哪回发现我不中用只要你愿意我就给你买一大盆啤酒让你在里面洗澡因为我对于一个心眼好人实在的婊了是非常敬重的因为我既要维护母亲的健康也要维持自己的职位可是这小妞③尽管我帮她干了那么多事她却一点也不领情存心让她自己让我母亲也让我在镇上去人现眼。（注：①指昆丁。②指康普生太太。③指康普生太太。）
I don’t see how a city no bigger than New York can hold enough people to take the money away from us country suckers. Work like hell all day every day, send them your money and get a little piece of paper back, Your account closed at 20.62. Teasing you along, letting you pile up a little paper profit, then bang! Your account closed at 20.62. And if that wasn’t enough, paying ten dollars a month to somebody to tell you how to lose it fast, that either don’t know anything about it or is in cahoots with the telegraph company. Well, I’m done with them. They’ve sucked me in for the last time. Any fool except a fellow that hasn’t got any more sense than to take a jew’s word for anything could tell the market was going up all the time, with the whole dam delta about to be flooded again and the cotton washed right out of the ground like it was last year. Let it wash a man’s crop out of the ground year after year, and them up there in Washington spending fifty thousand dollars a day keeping an army in Nicarauga or some place. Of course it’ll overflow again, and then cotton’ll be worth thirty cents a pound. Well, I just want to hit them one time and get my money back. I don’t want a killing; only these small town gamblers are out for that, I just want my money back that these dam jews have gotten with all their guaranteed inside dope. Then I’m through; they can kiss my foot for every other red cent of mine they get.
我弄不明白．无非也就是象纽约那样大的城市怎么能容纳得下那么多专以敲我们乡下人竹杠为生的人。我们每天每日辛苦工作，把自己的钱汇去，结果换来一张小纸片：尊户按收盘价20.62元结算。一个劲地哄骗你，让你在纸面上拿到一点儿赚头，到临了呢，噗嗤一声：尊户按收盘价20.62元结算。这还不算。每月还得交 十块钱给一位某公，此公要就是对此道一窍不通，要就是与电报局合穿一条裤子，他唯一的任务就是教你如何把钱尽快赔光。行了，他们的这一套我可领教够了，反正让他们敲竹杠这也是最后一回了。任何一个人，除开听信犹太人的话的傻瓜蚤，谁都知道行情要不断看涨，因为密西西比河三角洲眼看又要发大水了，棉花还得象去年那样给冲得一棵不剩。咱们这儿庄稼一年又一年被水淹掉，但是华盛顿的大人先生们却每天花五万元军费出兵干涉尼加拉瓜或是别的什么国家的内政。密西西比河当然还会发大水，于是棉花就会上涨到三角钱一磅。嗨，我真想给他们一次打击，把我的钱全捞回来。我倒不想让他们倾家荡产，这种事只有小地方的亡命之徒才做得出来，我只是想把那帮该死的犹太人用他们所谓保证可靠的内部情报从我这儿骗去的钱弄回来。以后我就洗手不干，他们即使吻我的脚也休想从我这儿骗去一个子儿了。
She had dodged out of sight somewhere. Saw me coming and dodged into another alley, running up and down the alleys with a dam show man in a red tie that everybody would look at and think what kind of a dam man would wear a red tie. Well, the boy kept speaking to me and so I took the telegram without knowing I had taken it. I didn’t realise what it was until I was signing for it, and I tore it open without even caring much what it was. I knew all the time what it would be, I reckon. That was the only thing else that could happen, especially holding it up until I had already had the check entered on the pass book.
不知道她溜到哪里去了，我看不见她了。她准是看见我跟在后面就拐进了另一条胡 同，跟一个打红领带的臭戏子在小巷里跑来跑去。谁见了都不由得要对他盯上儿眼，心里嘀咕：这算是哪号人，怎么这么打扮。哟，电报局的小厮不断跟我说话，我收下了电报，还不知自己手里拿的是什么，我签完了字才明白过来。我拆开电报，仍然没太留神里面讲的是什么。不过，反正我料也料得到的。这也是唯一可能发生的亭了，而且还故意拖延着，一直等到我把支票存在存折里才来。
“Take your time,” he says.”I can handle it now. You go ahead.”
“你不用着急，”他说。“我这会儿对付得了。你走好了。”
I went back to the store. It was half past three almost. Dam little time to do anything in, but then I am used to that. I never had to go to Harvard to learn that. The band had quit playing. Got them all inside now, and they wouldn’t have to waste any more wind. Earl says, “He found you, did he? He was in here with it a while ago. I thought you were out back somewhere.”
我回到店里。这时快三点半了。时间太晚了，来不及做什么亭儿，可是我已经习惯了。这种学问用不着进哈佛大学去学。乐队已经停止了吹打。所有的观众这会儿都给骗进了场子。他们不必再白白消耗元气了。艾尔说：“他找到你了吧？那个送电报的小孩。刚才他来这儿我你，我还以为你在后院呢。”
“I just asked,” he says.”Your mother knows she can depend on me.”
“我只不过是随便问问，”他说。“你母亲知道她是可以信赖我的。”
I got the car and went home. Once this morning, twice at noon, and now again, with her and having to chase all over town and having to beg them to let me eat a little of the food I am paying for. Sometimes I think what’s the use of anything. With the precedent I’ve been set I must be crazy to keep on. And now I reckon I’ll get home just in time to take a nice long drive after a basket of tomatoes or something and then have to go back to town smelling like a camphor factory so my head won’t explode right on my shoulders. I keep telling her there’s not a dam thing in that aspirin except flour and water for imaginary invalids. I says you don’t know what a headache is. I says you think I’d fool with that dam car at all if it depended on me. I says I can get along without one I’ve learned to get along without lots of things but if you want to risk yourself in that old wornout surrey with a halfgrown nigger boy all right because I says God looks after Ben’s kind, God knows He ought to do something for him but if you think I’m going to trust a thousand dollars’ worth of delicate machinery to a halfgrown nigger or a grown one either, you’d better buy him one yourself because I says you like to ride in the car and you know you do.
我找到了车，开回家去。早上走开一次，中午走开两次，现在又走，都是因为她，害得我不得不满镇追踪，不得不求家里人让我吃一点本来就是我出钱买的饭菜。有时候我想，这一切又有什么意思呢。有了我自己立下的先例，要继续这样做可真要让我发疯呢。我现在正想急急忙忙地回家，好开车走好多路去拉一篮西红柿什么的，然后还得回到镇上来，浑身都是樟脑的气味①，好象刚从樟脑厂出来，这样我肩膀上的那颗脑袋才不至于炸裂。我总是告诉她②，阿司匹林里除了面粉跟水以外别的啥都没有，那种药纯粹是骗骗自以为有病的那些人的。我说您不知道头痛是怎么回事“我说如果依我自己的心意，。您以为我愿意摆弄这辆破车吗。我说没有汽车我也能活下去，我已经习惯于缺这缺那了。可是您要是不怕死，要跟一个半大不小的黑小子一起坐那辆快要散架的旧马车，那好吧！因为正如我所说的，上帝总是垂顾班这一类人的。上帝也知道应该为班做点好事，可是如果您以为我会把一架值一千块钱的娇气的机器交 给一个半大不小的或是成年的黑小子，您还是干脆自己给他买一辆得了。因为正如我所说的，您是喜欢坐汽车的，这您自己很明白。（注：①杰生有头痛病，经索用樟脑油，故有此语。②指康普生太太。）
“Yes,” I says.”I got it. They couldn’t keep it away from me all afternoon. The town’s too small. I’ve got to go out home a minute,” I says.”You can dock me if it’ll make you feel any better.”
于是的，我说，“我收到了。他们也不能整个下午扣住了不给我。这个镇子太小了。我得回家去一会儿，”我说。“如果你想让自己心里好过些，你可以扣我工资。”
“Go ahead,” he says.”I can handle it now. No bad news, I hope.”
“你去吧，”他说，“我现在对付得了。希望你收到的不是什么坏消息！”
“She’ll appreciate it,” I says.”I won’t be gone any longer than I have to.”
“她会领情的，”我说。‘我尽可能早些回来。”
“You’ll have to go to the telegraph office and find that out,” I says.”They’ll have time to tell you. I haven’t.”
“这你可得到电报局去打听了，”我说。“他们有时间告诉你。我可没有时间。”
“You had somebody to make you behave yourself,” I says.”She hasn’t.”
“您有人管教，”我说，“她可没有。”
“I thought maybe you were sick,” she says.”Having to hurry through your dinner like you did.”
“我方才以为设准你是病了呢，”他说，“吃饭老是那么匆匆忙忙的。”
“It’s after three,” she says.”I heard the clock strike at least a half an hour ago. She ought to be home by now.”
“已经打过三点了，”她说。“至少半个小时以前我就听见钟打响了。他现在也应该回来了。”
“Is anything wrong?” she says.
“出什么事了吗？”他说。
“Better luck next time,” I says.”What do you want?”
“下一次就会运气好些了，”我说。“您要什么吗？”
“I just wanted to know who it was,” she says.”I’m here alone so much that I hear every sound.”
“我只不过是想知道是谁，”她说。“我一个人在屋子里待了那么久，再小的声音我也听得见。”
Dilsey said she was in the house. I went on into the hall and listened, but I didn’t hear anything. I went up stairs, but just as I passed her door she called me.
迪尔西说母亲在屋里。我一直走到门厅里侧耳倾听，可是什么声音也没听见。我上楼去，可是就在我经过她房门口时她叫住了我。
“You don’t have to stay here,” I says.”You could spend the whole day visiting like other women, if you wanted to.” She came to the door.
“您其实不必老待在家里嘛，”我说。“如果您愿意，您也可以象别的妇女那样，整天串东家串西家的。”这时候她来到门口了。
“She’s in school,” I says.
“她在学校里呢，”我说。
“Ought she?” I says.”When have you ever seen her before dark?”
“她应该？”我说。“您什么时候见到过她在天黑前回家的？”
“Have you seen Quentin?” she says.
“你见到昆丁了吗？，她说。
“She ought to be home,” she says.”When I was a girl –“
“她应该回家了。”她说。“我是个姑娘家的时候……”
“What could be?” I says.”Can’t I come home in the middle of the afternoon without upsetting the whole house?”
“哪能出事呢？”我说。“我下午半中腰回来看看。这有什么可大惊小怪的？”
“Jason.”
“杰生
“I’m all right,” I says.”Just a headache.”
“我没事儿，”我说。“只不过有些头疼。”
“What,” I says.
“什么事，”我说。
“I just thought something was wrong.”
“我想会不会出了什么事。”
“Not in here,” I says.”You’ve come to the wrong place.”
“我这儿反正没有，”我说。“您找错地方了。”
After a while she says,”No. Not any thing.” Then she went away. I took the box down and counted out the money and hid the box again and unlocked the door and went out. I thought about the camphor, but it would be too late now, anyway. And I’d just have one more round trip. She was at her door, waiting.
过了一会儿，他说，“没有。什么事也没有。”这时她走开了。我把箱子拿下来，把要的钱数出来，再把箱子放好，用钥匙把门开了，走出房去。我想用一下樟脑油，不过反正现在已经来不及了。我只要再跑一趟也就行了。她站在她房门口等着。
“No,” she says.”I don’t mean to meddle in your affairs. But I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you, Jason.”
“不要，”她说，“我不想干涉你的事务。不过我不知道万一你出了什么事我该怎么办，杰生。”
“You want anything from town?” I says.
“您要我从镇上给您带什么回来吗？”我说。
“And you won’t let me, for some reason,” I says.”So you ought to be satisfied.” I went on to my room. I turned the key easy and stood there until the knob turned. Then she says,
“您不知为什么就是不让我来试一试，”我说。“所以您也应该满意了。”我往我自己的房间走去。我慢慢地锁上了门一站在那儿直到外面有人转动门球。这时她说了，
“I’m glad to hear that,” I says.”I wasn’t sure. I thought I might have been mistaken. Do you want anything?”
“我听到您这么说很高兴，”我说。“我方才还不敢肯定。我还以为我听错了呢。您有什么事？”
“I don’t mean to worry you,” she says.
“我并不想打扰你，”她说。
“I can’t do anything with her,” she says.”I’ve tried and I’ve tried.”
“我拿她一点办法都没有，”她说。“我这样也试了，那样也试了。”
“You know gasoline always made you sick,” she says.”Ever since you were a child. I wish you’d take some aspirin.”
“你也知道汽油味儿总是让你不舒服，”她说。“你从小就是这样的。我希望你吃几片阿司匹林。”
I got in the car and started back to town. I had just turned onto the street when I saw a ford coming helling toward me. All of a sudden it stopped. I could hear the wheels sliding and it slewed around and backed and whirled and just as I was thinking what the hell they were up to, I saw that red tie. Then I recognised her face looking back through the window. It whirled into the alley. I saw it turn again, but when I got to the back street it was just disappearing, running like hell.
我钻进汽车，开车回镇上去。我刚拐上大街就看见一辆福特飞快地朝我这边开来。可是它突然停住了。我听见车轮滑动的声音，接着车子掉头，倒退，急急地朝前开去，我正在琢磨这辆车子到底是怎么回事，这时我瞥见了那条红领带。接着我又看见她透过后窗扭回头来张望的那张脸。汽车急急地钻进了一条小巷。我看见它又拐弯了，等到我开进后街它又从那儿开走了，它在拼命逃跑呢。
“What’s the car got to do with it?” I says.”How can a car give a man a headache?”
“开车跟头疼有什么关系？”我说。“汽车怎么会使人头疼呢？”
I saw red. When I recognised that red tie, after all I had told her, I forgot about everything. I never thought about my head even until I came to the first forks and had to stop. Yet we spend money and spend money on roads and dam if it isn’t like trying to drive over a sheet of corrugated iron roofing. I’d like to know how a man could be expected to keep up with even a wheelbarrow. I think too much of my car; I’m not going to hammer it to pieces like it was a ford. Chances were they had stolen it, anyway, so why should they give a dam. Like I say blood always tells. If you’ve got blood like that in you, you’ll do anything. I says whatever claim you believe she has on you has already been discharged; I says from now on you have only yourself to blame because you know what any sensible person would do. I says if I’ve got to spend half my time being a dam detective, at least I’ll go where I can get paid for it.
我火了。在我那么关照了她之后她还这么干！我认出那条红领带之后，气得把什么都忘了。一直到我来到第一个叉路口，不得不像下来时，我才想起我的头疼。妈的，我们一次又一次花钱修路。可是我们驱车走过的这条路简直象是一张瓦愣铁皮：我倒想知道怎么可能追得上前面的那辆车，即使那是一辆手推车，我还是太顾惜自己的车子了，我还不想拿它当一辆福特那样，把它拚命颠得散了架。十之八九这辆福特是他们偷来的，否则的活他们不会不心疼。我常常说，血液决定一切。如果一个人身上有那种血液，那是什么事情都做得出来的。我还说，如果您本来相信自己对她承担着什么义务的话，那么现在这种义务已经解除了。从现在起出了什么事只能怪您自己了，因为您明知道任何一个头脑清醒的人碰到这种情况都会怎么干的：我说，如果我得把一半的时间花在侦察别人的行动上，至少我也要找一个能给我酬劳的地方呀。
“I wish you’d take some aspirin,” she says.”I know you’re not going to stop using the car.”
“你还是吃几片阿司匹林吧，”她说。“我知道你还要开车出去。”
“Keep on wishing it,” I says.”It won’t hurt you.”
“您就只顾希望得了，”我说，“这反正对您没什么害处。”
So I had to stop there at the forks. Then I remembered it. It felt like somebody was inside with a hammer, beating on it. I says I’ve tried to keep you from being worried by her; I says far as I’m concerned, let her go to hell as fast as she pleases and the sooner the better. I says what else do you expect except every dam drummer and cheap show that comes to town because even these town jellybeans give her the goby now. You don’t know what goes on I says, you don’t hear the talk that I hear and you can just bet I shut them up too. I says my people owned slaves here when you all were running little shirt tail country stores and farming land no nigger would look at on shares.
就这样，我不得不在叉路口停了下来。这时我又感到头痛了，就象有人在我胸子里用捶子敲打似的。我说我一真是努力不让您为她操心的；戏说，就我而论，我是恨不得让她马上到地狱里去，而且越快越好，我说您还指望什么呢，现在每一个来到镇上的推销员和下贱的戏子都成了她相好的了，因为连镇上那些浮滑少年现在都不爱理她了。您不了解情况，我说，您没听见人家是怎么议论的，可我听见了。您也可以相信，我是不会不去堵他们的嘴的。我说，你们祖上开三家村里的小铺儿，抬掇着那种连黑鬼都瞧不上眼的破地时，我们家可养活着成群成群的黑奴呐。
If they ever farmed it. It’s a good thing the Lord did something for this country; the folks that live on it never have. Friday afternoon, and from right here I could see three miles of land that hadn’t even been broken, and every able bodied man in the county in town at that show. I might have been a stranger starving to death, and there wasn’t a soul in sight to ask which way to town even. And she trying to get me to take aspirin. I says when I eat bread I’ll do it at the table. I says you always talking about how much you give up for us when you could buy ten new dresses a year on the money you spend for those dam patent medicines. It’s not something to cure it I need it’s just an even break not to have to have them but as long as I have to work ten hours a day to support a kitchen full of niggers in the style they’re accustomed to and send them to the show where every other nigger in the county, only he was late already. By the time he got there it would be over.
如果他们真的抬掇过土地，那倒好了。上帝使这地方得天独厚，这原是桩好事，往在这个地方的人却压根儿没做过一件好事。今天是星期五的下午，从我所在的地方我能看到方园5英里内的土地全都没有犁过。县里每一个能干活的男人全部到镇上去看演出了，如果我是个快要饿死的陌生人，我还真找不到一个人，可以打听去镇上该怎么走呢。可她还想让我吃阿司匹林。我说，我要吃面包皮，我就在餐桌上堂堂正正地吃。您老说自己为我们作出了多么大的牺牲，可是您在乱吃名贵药品上所花的钱，一年也够做十套新衣服了。我也不是说一定要找到能治好我的病的灵丹妙药，只是谢天谢地可别让我吃那些阿司匹林了。只要一天我得工作十小时来养活一厨房好吃懒做惯了的黑鬼，还得让他们象县里每个黑鬼那样去看什么演出，那我就得头疼。不过前面的这个黑鬼今天已经晚了，等他去看戏，都要演完了。
After a while he got up to the car and when I finally got it through his head if two people in a ford had passed him, he said yes. So I went on, and when I came to where the wagon road turned off I could see the tire tracks. Ab Russell was in his lot, but I didn’t bother to ask him and I hadn’t got out of sight of his barn hardly when I saw the ford. They had tried to hide it. Done about as well at it as she did at everything else she did. Like I say it’s not that I object to so much; maybe she can’t help that, it’s because she hasn’t even got enough consideration for her own family to have any discretion. I’m afraid all the time I’ll run into them right in the middle of the street or under a wagon on the square, like a couple of dogs.
过了一会儿，他走到汽车旁边来了，我终于想办法让他脑子里弄明白我问的是有没有两个人开了一辆福特经过他的身边，他说有的。于是我继续往前开，等我来到大车路拐弯的地方，我看到轮胎的痕迹了。阿伯·罗素①在他的地里干活，可是我没有费事停下来问他，因为我离开他的谷仓还不多远就见到了那辆福特。他们想把它藏起来。她这件事干得真拙劣，就跟她干别的事时一模一样。我常说，不是我对她特别有成见；没准她天生就是这么贱，可是他不应该这么不考虑自己的家庭，不应该这么大大咧咧。我常常担心会在大街街心撞见他们或是在广场上大车下面见到他们象一对野狗那样在一起。（注：①当地的一个农民。）
I parked and got out. And now I’d have to go way around and cross a plowed field, the only one I had seen since I left town, with every step like somebody was walking along behind me, hitting me on the head with a club. I kept thinking that when I got across the field at least I’d have something level to walk on, that wouldn’t jolt me every step, but when I got into the woods it was full of underbrush and I had to twist around through it, and then I came to a ditch full of briers. I went along it for a while, but it got thicker and thicker, and all the time Earl probably telephoning home about where I was and getting Mother all upset again.
我停住汽车，走了下来。现在我得绕个弯穿过一片犁过的田地，这还是我离开镇子以来所见到的唯一的一块耕过的地呢。每走一步都觉得有人跟在我的后面，要用一根棍子打我的脑袋。我一直在想，等我穿过这片地，至少可以有平实的土地让我走了吧，不至于象现在这样每走一步都要晃上一晃。可是等我走进树林，发现遍地都是矮树丛，我得踅来踅去才能穿过去。接着我遇到了一条长满了荆棘的小沟。我沿着小沟走了一段路，可是荆棘却越来越密了。这时候，没准艾尔一直在给我家里打电话，打听我在哪儿，把母亲弄得心神不宁呢。
When I finally got through I had had to wind around so much that I had to stop and figure out just where the car would be. I knew they wouldn’t be far from it, just under the closest bush, so I turned and worked back toward the road. Then I couldn’t tell just how far I was, so I’d have to stop and listen, and then with my legs not using so much blood, it all would go into my head like it would explode any minute, and the sun getting down just to where it could shine straight into my eyes and my ears ringing so I couldn’t hear anything. I went on, trying to move quiet, then I heard a dog or something and I knew that when he scented me he’d have to come helling up, then it would be all off.
我终于穿过了小沟，但是我弯子绕得太大，只好停下步子，细细辨认那辆汽车到底在哪儿。我知道他们不会离汽车太远的，总是在最近的灌木底下，因此我又回过头来，一点点往大路那边走回去。可是这时我又弄不清自己离大路究竟有多远，因此只好停下来仔细听路上的声音，这时血从我的腿部往上涌，全涌进我的头部，仿佛马上就要炸裂似的。太陽也落了下来，平射着我的眼睛，我的耳朵鸣响不已，什么声音都听不见。我继续往前走，想尽量不出声音，这时我听见一条狗或是别的什么动物的哼哼声，我知道等它嗅出了我的气味必定会大吠特吠，这样一来岔也就暴露了。
I had gotten beggar lice and twigs and stuff all over me, inside my clothes and shoes and all, and then I happened to look around and I had my hand right on a bunch of poison oak. The only thing I couldn’t understand was why it was just poison oak and not a snake or something. So I didn’t even bother to move it. I just stood there until the dog went away. Then I went on.
我身上全粘满了“叫化虱”①、小树枝和别的脏东西，连衣服和鞋子里都有了，这时我回过头来看看，不料一只手偏偏搭在一束毒毛莫上。我不明白为什么捏着的仅仅是毒毛草而不是一条蛇或更精采的东西。所以我干脆不去管它。我只顾站在那里，一直等到那条狗走开。然后我接着往前走。（注：①一种植物的种子，带刺，极易粘挂在人畜的身上。）
I didn’t have any idea where the car was now. I couldn’t think about anything except my head, and I’d just stand in one place and sort of wonder if I had really seen a ford even, and I didn’t even care much whether I had or not. Like I say, let her lay out all day and all night with everthing in town that wears pants, what do I care. I don’t owe anything to anybody that has no more consideration for me, that wouldn’t be a dam bit above planting that ford there and making me spend a whole afternoon and Earl taking her back there and showing her the books just because he’s too dam virtuous for this world. I says you’ll have one hell of a time in heaven, without anybody’s business to meddle in only don’t you ever let me catch you at it I says, I close my eyes to it because of your grandmother, but just you let me catch you doing it one time on this place, where my mother lives. These dam little slick haired squirts, thinking they are raising so much hell, I’ll show them something about hell I says, and you too. I’ll make him think that dam red tie is the latch string to hell, if he thinks he can run the woods with my niece.
我现在一点也摸不着头脑那辆福特到底在哪儿。我只感到一阵阵头疼，什么也不能思考，我只顾站在一个地方不动，怀疑自己是否真的看到过一辆福特，而且连我到底看到了没有也不大在乎了。我不是说了吗，即使她整日整夜到外面去跟镇上任何一个汉子睡觉，这又与我有什么相干呢。人家一点不给我考虑，我当然也不欠人家任何情分，”再说，这样做也不象话呀。把那辆福特安在那儿，让我花上整整一个下午去我，而艾尔却可以把她。领到后面账房间去，让她看各种各样的账簿，因为对这个世界来说他的道德大高尚了。我说，你②进了天堂没你的好日子过，因为那儿没有你可以管的闲事。不过可别让我当场逮住你③，我睁一眼闭一眼完全是看在你外婆的份上，可是只要让我在自己家里也就是我母亲住的地方发现一次你在于那种勾当，你倒试试看。那班油头小光棍，自以为有多大能耐，我倒要让他们看看我有多大能耐，也要让你看看。我要让那戏子知道，如果他以为能带着我的外甥女儿在树林子里乱跑，那条红领带便不是别的什么，而是牵他到地狱去的催命吊索啦！（注：①指康普生太太。②指艾尔。③指小昆丁。）
By the time I got up to where my car was, they were clean out of sight, the horn still blowing. Well, I never thought anything about it except I was saying Run. Run back to town. Run home and try to convince Mother that I never saw you in that car. Try to make her believe that I don’t know who he was. Try to make her believe that I didn’t miss ten feet of catching you in that ditch. Try to make her believe you were standing up, too.
等到我来到自己的汽车跟前，已经完全不见他们的影子了，那喇叭倒还在鸣响。哼，我还没想到自己的车子会出事，我一心怨的是快走。快回到镇上去。快点回家竭力让母亲相信，我根本没见到你坐在那辆汽车里。竭力让她相信我根本不知道那个男的是谁。竭力让她相信我并没有差点儿在沙沟里逮住你，我们之间只差十英尺。竭力让她相信你一直是站着的，从来没有躺下去过。
With the sun and all in my eyes and my blood going so I kept thinking every time my head would go on and burst and get it over with, with briers and things grabbing at me, then I came onto the sand ditch where they had been and I recognised the tree where the car was, and just as I got out of the ditch and started running I heard the car start. It went off fast, blowing the horn. They kept on blowing it, like it was saying Yah. Yah. Yaaahhhhhhhh, going out of sight. I got to the road just in time to see it go out of sight.
太陽光和乱七八糟的反光照射在我眼睛上，我的血液往上涌，我一遍一遍地想：我的脑袋越来越疼，真的要爆炸了，这下子可要一了百了啦，还不说那些荆棘和小树枝在死乞白赖地攀住我。这时我来到他们方才到过的沙沟边上，我认出了方才汽车停靠着的那棵村。正当我爬出沙沟开始奔跑时，我听到了汽车发动的声音。它响着喇叭飞快地开走了。他们让喇叭直响着，仿佛在说：好哇，好哇。好——哇。与此同时，车子逐渐变小。等我来到大路上，刚好赶上看到汽车在眼前消失。
It kept on saying Yahhhhh, Yahhhhh, Yaaahhhhhhhhh, getting fainter and fainter. Then it quit, and I could hear a cow lowing up at Russell’s bam. And still I never thought. I went up to the door and opened it and raised my foot. I kind of thought then that the car was leaning a little more than the slant of the road would be, but I never found it out until I got in and started off.
那辆车子一直在喊：好哇——，好哇——，好——哇。只是声音越来越微弱，最后听不见了，这时我听见一头牛在罗素的牛棚里哞哞叫的声音。我仍然设想到自己的汽车会怎么样，我来到车门边，打开车门，抬起我的脚。我觉得车子好象有点斜。虽说路面是斜的，但也不至于歪成这样，不过我还是没有明白过来，一直到坐进汽车发动时才知道不对头了。
I walked up to Russell’s. He had a pump. That was just an oversight on their part, I reckon. Only I still couldn’t believe she’d have had the nerve to. I kept thinking that. I don’t know why it is I can’t seem to learn that a woman’ll do anything. I kept thinking, Let’s forget for a while how I feel toward you and how you feel toward me: I just wouldn’t do you this way. I wouldn’t do you this way no matter what you had done to me. Because like I say blood is blood and you can’t get around it. It’s not playing a joke that any eight year old boy could have thought of, it’s letting your own uncle be laughed at by a man that would wear a red tie. They come into town and call us all a bunch of hicks and think it’s too small to hold them. Well he doesn’t know just how right he is. And her too. If that’s the way she feels about it, she’d better keep right on going and a dam good riddance.
我朝罗索的农场走去。他有打气筒。我想，这一点他们倒疏忽了。只是我仍然无法相信她胆子有这么大，会千出这样的事来。我一直在琢磨这件事。我也不知道为什么，反正我不相信一个女的能有什么作为。我不断地想，咱们先撇开个人之间的恩怨不说，反正这样的事我对你是做不出来的，不管你过去对我怎样。因为正如我所说的，亲戚嘛总是亲戚，这是躲不掉绕不开的。这可不是八岁的小顽童想出来的淘气花招，这是让一个居然会戴红领带的人来羞辱你的亲舅舅。这班戏子来到镇上，不分青红皂白把我们一概都叫作“阿乡”，还嫌咱这地方小，辱没了他们这些大艺术家。哼，他哪知道他这话算是说对了！昆丁也是。如果她果真这么想，那就滚她的蛋吧，她一走，咱们这儿就干净了。
Well, I just sat there. It was getting on toward sundown, and town was about five miles. They never even had guts enough to puncture it, to jab a hole in it. They just let the air out. I just stood there for a while, thinking about that kitchen full of niggers and not one of them had time to lift a tire onto the rack and screw up a couple of bolts. It was kind of funny because even she couldn’t have seen far enough ahead to take the pump out on purpose, unless she thought about it while he was letting out the air maybe. But what it probably was was somebody took it out and gave it to Ben to play with for a squirt gun because they’d take the whole car to pieces if he wanted it and Dilsey says, Ain’t nobody teched yo car. What we want to fool with hit fer? and I says You’re a nigger. You’re lucky, do you know it? I says I’ll swap with you any day because it takes a white man not to have anymore sense than to worry about what a little slut of a girl does.
哼，我只好坐在那里。太陽快下山了，镇子离这儿大约有五英里远。他们没胆量，不敢把轮子扎穿，捅上一个洞。他们光是把气放掉。我只好在车子旁边站着，一边寻思：养活了一厨房的黑鬼，却谁也抽不出时间来给我把备用轮胎安上车后的铁架，拧紧几个螺丝。奇怪的是，她虽说诡，还不至于想得那么远，故意把打气筒摘掉，除非是小伙子放气的当儿，她恰好想到了这一手。不过可能是早就不知让谁卸下来交 给班当气槍玩了，他们这些人哪，只要班要，即使把汽车全拆散了也会千的，可迪尔西还说什么投人会碰你的车的。咱们玩你的车干什么呀？我就说了，你是黑鬼，你有福气，你懂吗？我说，我哪一天都愿意跟你对换身份，因为只有白人才那么傻，会去操心一个騷蹄子行为规矩不规矩。
“I did my best to deliver it,” he says.”I tried the store twice and called up your house, but they didn’t know where you were,” he says, digging in the drawer.
“我想尽了办法要把它送到你手里啊，”他说。“我给店里挂了两次电话，又打电话到你府上，可是大家都不知道你在哪儿，”他说，一边在抽屉里翻东西。
I just looked at him.
我傻愣愣地看着他②。（注：②电报局的报务员。）
I stopped and returned Russell’s pump and drove on to town. I went to the drugstore and got a shot and then I went to the telegraph office. It had closed at 20.21, forty points down. Forty times five dollars; buy something with that if you can, and she’ll say, I’ve got to have it I’ve just got to and I’ll say that’s too bad you’ll have to try somebody else, I haven’t got any money; I’ve been too busy to make any.
我打完气，把气筒还给罗素，便往镇上驶去。我开到药房门口，买了一瓶可口可乐，接着又来到电报局。收盘时牌价12.21元，跌了四十“点”。是四十五块钱呢；你想买什么就拿这笔钱买吧乡只要你办得到。她①要说了，我非要这笔钱不可，我非要不可。我就要说那可太糟了，你可得跟别人去要了，我一分钱也没有；我太忙了，没工夫去挣钱。（注：①指小昆丁。）
“I’ll tell you some news,” I says.”You’ll be astonished to learn that I am interested in the cotton market,” I says.”That never occurred to you, did it?”
“我要告诉你一个消息，”我说，“我对棉花行情是感兴趣的，你听到这个消息，一定感到很惊讶，”我说。“你准是从来也没有想到过吧，是吗？”
“Deliver what?” I says. He handed me a telegram.”What time did this come?” I says.
“送什么？”我问。他递给我一份电报。“是什么时候到的？”我说。
“That’s not my fault, is it?” I says. I opened it, just to see what kind of a lie they’d tell me this time. They must be in one hell of a shape if they’ve got to come all the way to Mississippi to steal ten dollars a month. Sell, it says. The market will be unstable, with a general downward tendency. Do not be alarmed following government report.
“这不是我的错儿，是不是？”我说。我拆开电报，想看看他们这回又给我扯什么谎了。他们居然挖空心思不远千里上密西西比州来骗我十块钱一个月，准也是够狼狈的了。脱手为宜，电报里说，行情即将波动，总的趋势看跌。照官方的说法是无须惊恐。
“And now it’s ten minutes past five,” I says.
“可现在已经是五点过十分了，”我说。
“I tried to deliver it,” he says.”I couldn’t find you.”
“我想尽办法要送：”他说，“可是怎么也找不到你。”
“About half past three,” he says.
“大约三点半，”他说。
“I already knew this. Send this collect,” I says, taking a blank. Buy, I wrote, Market just on point of blowing its head off. Occasional flurries for purpose of hooking a few more country suckers who haven’t got in to the telegraph office yet. Do not be alarmed.”Send that collect,” I says.
“这行情我早就知道了。给我发一份电报，电报费向对方收，”我说，抽出一张空白的单子。吃进，我写道，行情即将大涨。有时制造一些混乱可以让有些还没有来电报局的乡巴佬上钩。无须惊恐。“给我发了，向那边收款！”我说。
“They paid it,” he says.
“电报费那边也付了，”他说。
“How much would a message like this cost?” I says. He told me.
“打这样一份电报要多少钱？”我问。他告诉了我价钱。
“Then I owe them that much,” I says.
“那我就只欠他们这些钱了，”我说。
He looked at the message, then he looked at the clock.”Market closed an hour ago,” he says.
他看了看电文，抬起头来看了看钟。“一小时之前就已经收盘了，”他说。
“Well,” I says.”That’s not my fault either. I didn’t invent it; I just bought a little of it while under the impression that the telegraph company would keep me informed as to what it was doing.”
“哼，”我说，“这也不是我的错儿呀。这档子事又不是我发明的；我仅仅是买进了一些，我还以为电报公司会不断通知我行情的上落呢。”
“A report is posted whenever it comes in,” he says.
“我们一收到行情，总是马上就公布的，”他说。
“Yes,” I says.”And in Memphis they have it on a blackboard every ten seconds,” I says.”I was within sixty-seven miles of there once this afternoon.”
“不错，”我说，“可是在孟菲斯，人家每十秒钟就在黑板上公布一次，”我说。“今天下午，我到过离那里不到六十六英里的地方。”
He looked at the message.”You want to send this?” he says.
他打量着这张电报纸。“你是要发出去吗？”他说。
“I still haven’t changed my mind,” I says. I wrote the other one out and counted the money.”And this one too, if you’re sure you can spell b-u-y.”
“我还没有改变主意，”我说。我写好了另外一封电报，并且把钱数了数。“这一封也要发，如果你确实会写‘吃进’这两个字的活。”
“What?” I says. He looked at his watch. Then he went to the door and looked at the courthouse clock.”You ought to have a dollar watch,” I says.”It won’t cost you so much to believe it’s lying each time.”
“什么？”我说。他瞧了瞧他的表，接着走到门口，望望法院门楼上的那只钟。“你应该用那种一块钱一只的老爷表的，”我说。“花钱不多，也同样每次都能让你相信你的表不准。”
I went back to the store. I could hear the band from down the street. Prohibition’s a fine thing. Used to be they’d come in Saturday with just one pair of shoes in the family and him wearing them, and they’d go down to the express office and get his package; now they all go to the show barefooted, with the merchants in the door like a row of tigers or something in a cage, watching them pass. Earl says, “I hope it wasn’t anything serious.”
我回到店里。我能听到从大街那头传来的乐队声。禁酒①真是件好事。以前，每到星期六，那些乡下佬总是穿着全家仅有的一双皮鞋进城，他们总是到“快捷运货公司”办公室去取托运的包皮裹；现在他们全都光了脚来看演出了，那些商人都站在店门口盯着他们走过去，象是一排笼子里的老虎或是别的什么猛兽。艾尔说了，“我希望不至于是什么严重的事。”（注：①从1920年到1933年，美国联邦法律规定禁酒。）
“What?” he says.
“你说什么？”他问。
“We were not busy much,” he says.”They all went to the show. It’s all right.”
“方才不算太忙，”他说。“人们都看演出去了。没什么关系。”
“I said it was all right,” he says.
“我刚才说没什么关系，”他说。
“If it’s not all right,” I says,”you know what you can do about it.”
“如果有关系，”我说，“你当然知道你可以采取什么措施。”
“Nothing,” I says.”Hope I haven’t inconvenienced you.”
“没什么，”我说。“希望我方才没给你带来不方便。”
“Do you want to quit?” he says.
“你是不是想辞职不干？”他问。
“I heard you,” I says.”And if it’s not all right, you know what you can do about it.”
“我听清楚了，”我说。“如果有什么关系，你当然知道你可以采取什么措施。”
“It’s not my business,” I says.”My wishes don’t matter. But don’t get the idea that you are protecting me by keeping me.”
“这不是我开的店，”我说。“我怎么想都是不起作用的。不过你千万不要以为你雇了我是在照顾我。”
“I don’t know why you are trying to make me fire you,” he says.”You know you could quit anytime and there wouldn’t be any hard feelings between us.”
“我不明白干吗你要逼我来开除你，”他说。“你明知道你什么时候不想干都可以请便的，这不会影响咱们之间的交 情。”
“You’d be a good business man if you’d let yourself, Jason,” he says.
“杰生，如果你好好于的话，你是可以成为一个好买卖人的，”他说。
“At least I can tend to my own business and let other people’s alone,” I says.
“至少我会只做自己的买卖，不去管旁人的闲事，”我说。
“Maybe that’s why I don’t quit,” I says.”As long as I tend to my job, that’s what you are paying me for.” I went on to the back and got a drink of water and went on out to the back door. Job had the cultivators all set up at last. It was quiet there, and pretty soon my head got a little easier. I could hear them singing now, and then the band played again. Well, let them get every quarter and dime in the county; it was no skin off my back. I’ve done what I could; a man that can live as long as I have and not know when to quit is a fool. Especially as it’s no business of mine. If it was my own daughter now it would be different, because she wouldn’t have time to; she’d have to work some to feed a few invalids and idiots and niggers, because how could I have the face to bring anybody there. I’ve too much respect for anybody to do that. I’m a man, I can stand it, it’s my own flesh and blood and I’d like to see the color of the man’s eyes that would speak disrespectful of any woman that was my friend it’s these dam good women that do it I’d like to see the good, church-going woman that’s half as square as Lorraine, whore or no whore. Like I say if I was to get married you’d go up like a balloon and you know it and she says I want you to be happy to have a family of your own not to slave your life away for us. But I’ll be gone soon and then you can take a wife but you’ll never find a woman who is worthy of you and I says yes I could. You’d get right up out of your grave you know you would. I says no thank you I have all the women I can take care of now if I married a wife she’d probably turn out to be a hophead or something. That’s all we lack in this family, I says.
“也许正是因为这一点我才没有辞职，”我说。“只要我还在给你干，你就为这个给我薪水。”我到后面去喝了一杯水，然后从后门走出去。约伯总算把中耕机全部安装好了。这后院相当安静，过不了一会儿，我的头就不那么疼了。我现在能听到戏班子的唱歌声音，接着乐队也演奏起来了，好吧，让他们把这个县里每一毛钱。每一分钱都搜刮走吧，这反正又不是扒我的皮。该干的我都干了。一个象我这么活了这么大年纪还不知道适可而止的人，就是一个傻瓜。再说这件事根本跟我没有关系。如果是我自己的女儿，事情当然就不会是这样了，因为她根本不会有时间去浪荡，她必须干活，好养活那几个病人。白痴和黑鬼。我是不会有女儿的，我怎么有脸面把正正经经的女人娶回到那样的家庭里去呢。我对别人都非常敬重，是绝对不会做出这样的事来的。我是一个男人，我受得了，那是我的亲骨肉，谁要是对我熟识的任何一个妇女说什么不三不四的活，我倒要好好看他一眼。说人坏话的都是正经人家伪妇女，我倒想看看这些高贵的。做礼拜从不缺席的女子是些什么样的人物，她还没有洛仑一半正经呢，先不说洛仑是婊子 还不是婊子。象我所说的，如果我决定要结婚，您①就会象只气球那样蹦起来了，这您是很清楚的，可她②说我是想让你日子过得幸福，让你有自己的家庭，而不必一辈子为我们做牛做马。我是不久于人世的了，我死后你该娶太太了，不过你永远也找不到配得上你的姑娘的。于是我说，不！我会找到伪。您一知道我要娶亲就会从坟墓里爬出来，您知道您会的。我说，行了，谢谢您了，现在要我照顾的妇女已经够多的了。要是我结婚，没准还会发现新娘子是个吸毒的扈君子呢。我说，咱们家就缺这样一个角色了。（注：①②均指康普生太太。）
The band was playing again, a loud fast tune, like they were breaking up. I reckon they’d be satisfied now. Maybe they’d have enough music to entertain them while they drove fourteen or fifteen miles home and unharnessed in the dark and fed the stock and milked. All they’d have to do would be to whistle the music and tell the jokes to the live stock in the barn, and then they could count up how much they’d made by not taking the stock to the show too. They could figure that if a man had five children and seven mules, he cleared a quarter by taking his family to the show. Just like that. Earl came back with a couple of packages.
乐队又演奏起来了，声音很响，节奏很快，象是马上要爆炸似的。我想这下子观众们该感到满意了吧。这样一来，他们一路赶车走十四、五英里地回家，连夜喂牲口挤牛奶时，脑子里没准就可以有点音乐声索绕不散。他们只需用口哨把曲调吹出来，把听来的笑话复述给牛栏里的牲口听就行了。他们心里还可以盘算，由于没把牲口带去看戏，他们省下了多少钱。他们还可以这样计算，如果一个人有五个孩子、七头骡子，他只花两毛五就等于让全家都看到戏了。他们就那样计算。这时候，艾尔拿了几包皮东西到后院来了。
The sun was down beyond the Methodist church now, and the pigeons were flying back and forth around the steeple, and when the band stopped I could hear them cooing. It hadn’t been four months since Christmas, and yet they were almost as thick as ever. I reckon Parson Walthall was getting a belly full of them now. You’d have thought we were shooting people, with him making speeches and even holding onto a man’s gun when they came over. Talking about peace on earth good will toward all and not a sparrow can fall to earth. But what does he care how thick they get, he hasn’t got anything to do: what does he care what time it is. He pays no taxes, he doesn’t have to see his money going every year to have the courthouse clock cleaned to where it’ll run. They had to pay a man fortyfive dollars to clean it. I counted over a hundred half-hatched pigeons on the ground. You’d think they’d have sense enough to leave town. It’s a good thing I don’t have anymore ties than a pigeon, I’ll say that.
现在，太陽已经西沉到监理公会教堂的后面去了，鸽子绕着尖培飞过来飞过去，乐队一停下来，我可以听见鸽子咕咕咕咕地在叫唤。圣诞节过了还不到四个月，可鸽群又几乎跟以前一样稠密了。我琢磨华特霍尔牧师③准是吃鸽子吃撑了。他发表那种演说，甚至见到别人打鸽子就过去抓住他们的槍管，你准以为我们瞄准打的是大活人呢。他说得天花乱坠，说什么让和平降临大地呀！什么要用善心来对待世上的一切呀！连一只麻雀都不让我们打。可是他却不管鸽群变得多么稠密，他无所事事，反正也不用知道钟点。他不用纳税，也用不着操心每年给法院门楼上的钟交 钱擦洗油泥，好让它走得准些。为了擦钟，他们得付给一个工匠四十五块钱呢。我数了一下，地上刚孵出来的小鸽子足足有一百来只。你总以为它们有点头脑，会赶快离开这小镇的吧。我得说，幸亏我不象一只鸽子有这么多的七大姑八大姨，绪拴在这个地方脱不开身。
“Gone to the show, I imagine,” I says.”Unless you watched him.”
“去看演出了吧，我想，”我说。“你一不看住他，他就会溜。”
“Here’s some more stuff going out,” he says.”Where’s Uncle Job?”
“又有些货得发出去，”他说。“约伯大叔在哪儿？”
“He doesn’t slip off,” he says.”I can depend on him.”
“他不会溜的，”他说。“他是靠得住的。”
He went to the door and looked out, listening.
他走到门口向外面眺望，并且侧耳倾听。
“That’s a good band,” he says.”It’s about time they were breaking up, I’d say.”
“这个乐队真不赖，”他说。“我看快要散场了吧。”
“Unless they’re going to spend the night there,” I says. The swallows had begun, and I could hear the sparrows beginning to swarm in the trees in the courthouse yard. Every once in a while a bunch of them would come swirling around in sight above the roof, then go away. They are as big a nuisance as the pigeons, to my notion. You can’t even sit in the courthouse yard for them. First thing you know, bing. Right on your hat. But it would take a millionaire to afford to shoot them at five cents a shot. If they’d just put a little poison out there in the square, they’d get rid of them in a day, because if a merchant can’t keep his stock from running around the square, he’d better try to deal in something besides chickens, something that don’t eat, like plows or onions. And if a man don’t keep his dogs up, he either don’t want it or he hasn’t any business with one. Like I say if all the businesses in a town are run like country businesses, you’re going to have a country town.
“除非他们躲在里面连下去看夜场，”我说。燕子开始在翻飞了，我能听到麻雀开始纷纷飞到法院广场上的树上所发出的声音。过不了一会儿，就会有一群麻雀盘旋着来到屋顶上空，出现在你的眼前，接着又飞走。在我看来，它们跟鸽子一样，也是怪付人厌的东西。有了这些麻雀，你根本设法在广场上安坐。你还不知道是怎么回事；噗的一声，一泡屎正好落在你的帽子上。可是要打它们，一发子弹得花五分钱，真得是百万富翁才供得起呢。其实只要在广场上撒些毒药，一天之内就能把它们全绪收拾掉的，若说哪个商人不能管住自己的禽类，设法不让它们在广场上乱跑，那他最好还是别贩卖鸡鸭之类的活物，干脆去做别的生意，比如说卖那些不会啄食的东西，象犁头啦。洋葱啦等等。如果一个人不好好看住自己的小狗，那他不是不想要这条狗了就是他根本不配养狗。我不是说了吗，如果镇上所有的买卖做得象农村的集市贸易，那咱们这个镇就会变成一个农村的墟场了。
“Meaning me by that,” I says.
“那你是说我靠不住了，”我说。
“There’s no law making them farm in the hills,” I says.”Or anywhere else.”
“又没有法律规定他们非得在山里或是非得在什么地方种地啊，”我说。
“It won’t do you any good if they have broke up,” I says.”They’ll have to hitch up and take out to get home by midnight as it is.”
“即使戏已经散了，对你也不会有什么好处的，”我说，“他们还得套车，把车赶出来；等回到家里至少也是半夜了。”
“Where would you and me be, if it wasn’t for the farmers?” he says.
“没有这些农民，咱们俩还不定在哪儿呢？”他说。
“I’d be home right now,” I says.”Lying down, with an ice pack on my head.”
“我这会儿准是在家里，”我说，“躺在床 上，用一包皮冰镇我这发疼的脑袋。”
“You have these headaches too often,” he says.”Why don’t you have your teeth examined good? Did he go over them all this morning?”
“你的头三天两头疼，”他说。“你怎么不去好好检查一下你的牙齿呢？他今天上午没给你看吗？”
“Did who?” I says.
“谁没给我看？”我说。
“Well,” he says.”They enjoy it. Let them spend a little money on a show now and then. A hill farmer works pretty hard and gets mighty little for it.”
“嗯，”他说，“他们爱看戏。过上一阵让他们花些钱看看演出，这也是件好事。山里的农民活儿子得很苦，进益可少得很。”
“You said you went to the dentist this morning.”
“你说你上午去看牙来着。”
“Do you object to my having the headache on your time?” I says.”Is that it?” They were crossing the alley now, coming up from the show.
“你是不是不许我在你营业时间头疼？”我说。“是不是这样？他们现在散场了，正穿过咱们这条胡 同。”
“There they come,” he says.”I reckon I better get up front.” He went on. It’s a curious thing how, no matter what’s wrong with you, a man’ll tell you to have your teeth examined and a woman’ll tell you to get married. It always takes a man that never made much at any thing to tell you how to run your business, though. Like these college professors without a whole pair of socks to his name, telling you how to make a million in ten years, and a woman that couldn’t even get a husband can always tell you how to raise a family.
“他们来了，”他说。“我看我还是到前面店堂去吧，”他走开了。奇怪的是，不管你怎么不舒服，总有男人来跟你说你的牙齿得全面检查一下，也总有女人来跟你说你该结婚了。来教训你该怎样做买卖的总是个自己一事无成的人。大学里的那些教授，自己穷得连一双象样的袜子都没有，却去教别人如何在十年之内赚一百万，而有些女人，自己连个丈夫都没有着落，讲起如何操特家务。生儿育女来却是头头是道。
“Who’s that?” I says.
“那人是谁？”我说。
“Well,” I says.”Was it a good show?”
“喂！”我问，“戏好看吗？”
Old man Job came up with the wagon. After a while he got through wrapping the lines around the whip socket.
约伯老头赶了一辆大车来到店门口。他用了几分钟把缰绳缠在插马鞭子的插座上。
“I ain’t been yit,” he says.”But I kin be arrested in dat tent tonight, dough.”
“我还没去看呢，”他说。“不过，你想逮捕我今儿晚上到太帐篷里来好了。”
“Like hell you haven’t,” I says.”You’ve been away from here since three o’clock. Mr Earl was just back here looking for you.”
“你没去才怪呢，”我说。“你三点钟起就不在了。艾尔先生方才还在这儿找你呢。”
“Dat’s Mr Jason Compson,” he says.”Git up dar, Dan!”
“就是杰生·康普生先生①呀，”他说。“驾！走呀，老丹②！”（注：①约伯的意思是：杰生鬼点子大多，结果反而害了自己。②马的名字。）
“I been tendin to my business,” he says.”Mr Earl knows whar I been.”
“我办私事去了，”他说。“艾尔先生知道我去哪儿的。”
“You may can fool him,” I says.”I won’t tell on you.”
“你可以瞒得过他，”我说。“我反正不会告发你的。”
“Den he’s de onliest man here I’d try to fool,” he says.”Whut I want to waste my time foolin a man whut I don’t keer whether I sees him Sat’dy night er not? I won’t try to fool you,” he says.”You too smart fer me. Yes, suh,” he says, looking busy as hell, putting five or six little packages into the wagon.”You’s too smart fer me. Ain’t a man in dis town kin keep up wid you fer smartness. You fools a man whut so smart he can’t even keep up wid hisself,” he says, getting in the wagon and unwrapping the reins.
“如果那样，那他就成了这地方我打算欺骗的惟一的一个人了，”他说。“我根本不在乎星期六晚上一定得见到他，又干吗费这份心思去骗他呢？我也不会欺骗你的，”他说。“对我来说，你过于精明了，是的，先生，”他一面说，一面忙得不亦乐乎地把五六个小包皮放进大车。“对我来说，你太精明了。这个镇上没有一个人脑袋瓜有你这么灵。你把一个人耍得团 团 转，让他东南西北都分不清，”他一面说，一面爬上大车，解开缰绳。
A lot Job cared whether the wheel came off or not, long as he wouldn’t have too far to walk back. Like I say the only place for them is in the field, where they’d have to work from sunup to sundown. They can’t stand prosperity or an easy job. Let one stay around white people for a while and he’s not worth killing. They get so they can outguess you about work before your very eyes, like Roskus the only mistake he ever made was he got careless one day and died. Shirking and stealing and giving you a little more lip and a little more lip until some day you have to lay them out with a scantling or something. Well, it’s Earl’s business. But I’d hate to have my business advertised over this town by an old doddering nigger and a wagon that you thought every time it turned a corner it would come all to pieces.
只要路不太远徒步能走回来，约伯才不管轮子会不会掉下来呢。我早就说了，黑人唯一配待的地方就是大田，在那儿他们得从日出干到日落。让他们生活富裕点或工作轻松点，他们就会浑身不自在。让一个黑鬼在白人身边待的时间稍长了一些，这黑鬼就要报废了。他们会变得比你还诡，能在你眼皮底下耍奸卖滑，猜透你的心思。罗斯库司就是这样的一个，他所犯的惟一错误就是有一天一不小心居然让自己死了。偷懒，手脚不干净，嘴也越来越刁越来越刁直到最后你只好用一根木棒或是别的什么家伙来把他们压下去。哼，反正那是艾尔的事。不过要是我。我可不喜欢让一个老黑鬼赶着辆破车满城走砸我字号的招牌，这辆马车让人提心吊胆，总以为拐一个弯它就会散架。
One of the wheels was just about to come off. I watched to see if he’d get out of the alley before it did. Just turn any vehicle over to a nigger, though. I says that old rattletrap’s just an eyesore, yet you’ll keep it standing there in the carriage house a hundred years just so that boy can ride to the cemetery once a week. I says he’s not the first fellow that’ll have to do things he doesn’t want to. I’d make him ride in that car like a civilised man or stay at home. What does he know about where he goes or what he goes in, and us keeping a carriage and a horse so he can take a ride on Sunday afternoon.
有一只轮子眼看要掉下来了。我等着，瞧他驶出巷子之前轮于是否会掉下来。只要把车子交 给一个黑鬼管，他就会把车子糟蹋成这样。我说，咱们家那挂全身都响的老爷车叫人看了都难受，可是还得把它在车房里放上一百年，为的是每星期一次那黑小子能赶着它到墓园去。我说，世界上谁都得干自己不愿干的事，他也不能例外，我就是要让他象个文明人似的开汽车。要不就干脆给我待在家里。其实他哪知道要上哪儿，或者该乘什么车去，而我们呢，却留着一辆马车，养上一匹马，好让他在星期天下午出去遛遛。
“You lock the back door?” he says. I went back and locked it and came back.”I suppose you’re going to the show tonight,” he says.”I gave you those passes yesterday, didn’t I?”
“你去锁上后门吧，”他说。我走回去，锁好门，再走回来。“我看你今天晚上要去看演出的吧，”他说。“我昨天给了你儿张招待票，不是吗？”
The sun was all high up in the air now, and inside it was beginning to get dark. I went up front. The square was empty. Earl was back closing the safe, and then the clock begun to strike.
现在太陽虽然还算高，但是屋子里已经开始暗下来了。我走到店门口。广场上已经是空荡荡的了。艾尔在里问关保险箱，这时候，钟打响了。
“No, no,” he says.”I just forgot whether I gave them to you or not. No sense in wasting them.”
“不。不。”他说，“我只不过是记不清有没有给你了，浪费掉也是怪可惜的。”
I went in and got a couple of cigars. Then I thought I’d have another headache shot for luck, and I stood and talked with them a while.
我走进去，买了几支雪茄。这时我灵机一动，我想我不妨再试一次自己头疼时的运气，于是我站住了和他们聊一会儿。
“Yes,” I says.”You want them back?”
“是给了。”我说，“你想要回去吗？”
He locked the door and said Goodnight and went on. The sparrows were still rattling away in the trees, but the square was empty except for a few cars. There was a ford in front of the drugstore, but I didn’t even look at it. I know when I’ve had enough of anything. I don’t mind trying to help her, but I know when I’ve had enough. I guess I could teach Luster to drive it, then they could chase her all day long if they wanted to, and I could stay home and play with Ben.
他锁上大门，跟我说了声再见，就往前走去。麻雀仍然在树丛里调嗽地吵个没完。可是广场上除了有儿辆汽车之外，已经空旷无人了，药房门口停着一辆福特，可是我连瞧都不瞧它二眼，我知道我也有受够了的时候。我不是不愿拉她一把，可我知道我也有受够了的时候。我想我还是教会勒斯特开车吧，这样一来，如果他们愿意，可以派他整天开了车去钉她的梢，我呢，可以待在家里陪班玩了。
“Well,” Mac says.”I reckon you’ve got your money on the Yankees this year.”
“嗨，”麦克①说，“我看你今年把钱押在扬基队上了吧。”（注：①药房里的一个闹人。）
“The Pennant,” he says.”Not anything in the league can beat them.”
“三角旗锦标赛呀！”他说，“联赛中没有一个队能打败他们的。”
“What for?” I says.
“干吗呢？”我说。
“I don’t call it luck,” Mac says.
“我不认为这是交 好运，”麦克说。
“Like hell there’s not,” I says.”They’re shot,” I says.”You think a team can be that lucky forever?”
“当然！”我说，“他们没一个能成气候的，”我说。“你以为一个球队会永远交 好运吗？”
“I wouldn’t bet on any team that fellow Ruth played on,” I says.”Even if I knew it was going to win.”
“反正鲁斯①那家伙在哪个队，我就不押这个队。”我说。“即使我明明知道它会赢。”（注：①相当时著名棒球明星“宝贝”鲁斯，他是纽约扬基队的主力。）
“Yes?” Mac says.
“怎么啦？”麦克说。
“I can name you a dozen men in either league who’re more valuable than he is,” I says.
“两大联赛各个队里比他强的球员有十来个呢，我可以一个人个给你举出来，”我说。
“What have you got against Ruth?” Mac says.
“你跟罗斯有什么过不去的？”麦克说。
“Nothing,” I says.”I haven’t got any thing against him. I don’t even like to look at his picture.” I went on out. The lights were coming on, and people going along the streets toward home. Sometimes the sparrows never got still until full dark. The night they turned on the new lights around the courthouse it waked them up and they were flying around and blundering into the lights all night long. They kept it up two or three nights, then one morning they were all gone. Then after about two months they all came back again.
“没什么，”我说。“我跟他没什么过不去的。我看见他的照片心里就有火。”我走了出去。灯火已经逐渐亮起来了，人们在街上走回家去。有时麻雀要一直到天完全黑了才安静下来。有一晚，人们把法院广场四周新安上的路灯都开亮了，这就使麻雀醒了过来，它们一整夜都飞来飞去，还往灯上直撞。一连两三个晚上，它们都这样折腾乙然后有天早上，它们都飞走了。可是，两个月之后它们又回来了。
I drove on home. There were no lights in the house yet, but they’d all be looking out the windows, and Dilsey jawing away in the kitchen like it was her own food she was having to keep hot until I got there. You’d think to hear her that there wasn’t but one supper in the world, and that was the one she had to keep back a few minutes on my account. Well at least I could come home one time without finding Ben and that nigger hanging on the gate like a bear and a monkey in the same cage. Just let it come toward sundown and he’d head for the gate like a cow for the barn, hanging onto it and bobbing his head and sort of moaning to himself. That’s a hog for punishment for you. If what had happened to him for fooling with open gates had happened to me, I never would want to see another one. I often wondered what he’d be thinking about, down there at the gate, watching the girls going home from school, trying to want something he couldn’t even remember he didn’t and couldn’t want any longer. And what he’d think when they’d be undressing him and he’d happen to take a look at himself and begin to cry like he’d do. But like I say they never did enough of that. I says I know what you need you need what they did to Ben then you’d behave. And if you don’t know what that was I says, ask Dilsey to tell you.
我开车回家。家里还没有亮灯，不过他们准是都趴在窗口朝外张堕，迪尔西在厨房里嘀嘀咕咕，好象她在热着等我回来才能上桌的饭菜是她自己掏钱买来的。你听了她说的那些话，真要以为世界上只有一顿晚饭，就是因为我迟开了几分钟的那一顿。哼，至少总算有一次我回到家中没看见班和那黑鬼趴在大铁门上，就象熊。猴同笼似的。只要一到太陽西落，他就必定朝大门走去，就象一头牛到时候自己会回牛栏去，他然后就趴在大门上，头一晃一晃，低声呻吟起来。象口猪那样给人劁了，这是对你的惩罚。要是我象他那样，因为闯出开着的大门而挨了一刀，那么给我一个女学生我也不要看了。我常常纳闷，当他叭在大门上，瞧那些姑娘放学回家，企图满足他连自己都不知道根本不需要也没有能力要的要求时，他会有什么样的想法呢。还有，如果他们脱光了他的衣服，他恰好低头看了自己赤条条的身子一眼，又象平时那样哼叫起来时，他又会有什么样的想法呢。可是如我常说的那样，他们这件事没有做彻底。我说，我知道你①需要什么，你需要的是象班那样，让人给你动一次手术，作完手术你也就老实了。如果你不明白我说的是怎么一回事，让迪尔西来告诉你好了。（注：①此处之“你”指小昆丁。）
There was a light in Mother’s room. I put the car up and went on into the kitchen. Luster and Ben were there.
母亲房里有灯光。我把车停好，然后走进厨房。勒斯特和班在里面。
“Maybe I went to the show,” I says.”Is supper ready?”
“也许我去看演出了呢。”我说。“晚饭准备好了吗？”
“I thought I heard de band,” he says.”Wish I could go,” he says.”I could ef I jes had a quarter.”
“我好象听见了乐队演奏的声音。”他说。“我真希望去看呀！”他说，“要是有两毛五，我就能去了。”
“Wish I could go,” Luster says.”I could ef I jes had a quarter.”
“我真希望能去！”勒斯特说。“要是我有两毛五，那就好了。”
“She up stairs wid Miss Cahline,” Luster says.”Dey been goin hit. Ever since Miss Quentin come home. Mammy up there keepin um fum fightin. Is dat show come, Mr Jason?”
“她在楼上卡罗琳小姐的房间里，”勒斯特说。“她们快要打起来了。昆丁小姐一回来就发脾气，姥姥上楼去劝她们。戏演了吗，杰生先生？”
“Where’s Dilsey?” I says.”Putting supper on?”
“迪尔西在哪儿？”我问，“是在开晚饭吗？”
“What’s the matter?” I says.
“到底是怎么回事？”我说。
“Quentin come in a while ago and says you been follerin her around all evenin and den Miss Cahline jumped on her. Whyn’t you let her alone? Can’t you live in de same house wid yo own blood niece widout quoilin?”
“昆丁不多久前回来，她说你整个下午都在跟踪她，于是卡罗琳小姐就跟她发火了。你干吗要管昆丁的闲事呢？你就不能跟你的亲外甥女儿在同一幢房子里和和美美地过日子吗？”
“You ain’t got no business at no show,” Dilsey says.”You go on in de house and set down,” she says.”Don’t you go up stairs and git um started again, now.”
“看戏可跟你没有缘分，”迪尔西说。“你进屋子去给我坐下来吃饭，”她说。“你可别上楼去又惹得她们重新吵起来。”
Dilsey came in.”You come, is you?” she says.”Whut you been up to dis evenin? You knows how much work I got to do; whyn’t you git here on time?”
迪尔西进来了。“你回来啦，嗯？”她说。“你今儿下午干什么去了？你知道我有多忙！你干吗不准时回来呢？”
“Yes,” I says.
“演了，”我说。
“That reminds me,” I says.”I’ve got a couple of tickets they gave me.” I took them out of my coat.
“我倒想起来了，”我说，“人家给了我两张票。”我把票从上衣口袋里掏了出来。
“Gimme one of um, Mr Jason,” he says.”You ain’t gwine need um bofe.”
“给我一张吧，杰生先生！”他说。“你反正用不着两张的。”
“I can’t quarrel with her,” I says,”because I haven’t seen her since this morning. What does she say I’ve done now made her go to school? That’s pretty bad,” I says.
“我有意想跟她吵也办不到呀！”我说，“因为我从早上到现在就没见到她。她这回又说我什么啦？逼她上学吗？这可大不象话了，”我说。
“Well, you tend to yo business and let her lone,” Dilsey says.”I’ll take keer of her ef you’n Miss Cahline’ll let me. Go on in dar now and behave yoself twell I git supper on.”
“行了，你干你自己的事，别去管她！”迪尔西说，“只要你和卡罗琳小狙同意让我来管，我会照顾她的。好，你进屋去吧。别惹是生非了，等我来给你开饭。”
“You fixin to use um?” Luster says.
“你自己想去看吗？”勒斯特说。
“Ef I jes had a quarter,” Luster says,”I could go to dat show.”
“要是我有两毛五，”勒斯特说，“我就能去看戏了。”
“Gimme one of um, Mr Jason,” he says.
“那你给我一张吧，杰生先生，”他说。
“I ain’t got no money,” he says.
“我没钱呀！”他说。
“Not me,” I says.”I wouldn’t go to it for ten dollars.”
“我才不去呢！”我说。“倒贴我十块钱我也不去。”
“I’ll sell you one,” I says.”How about it?”
“我可以卖一张给你，”我说，“怎么样？”
“En ef you had wings you could fly to heaven,” Dilsey says.”I don’t want to hear another word about dat show.”
“要是你有翅膀，你还能飞到天堂里去呢！”迪尔西说。“别再唠叨什么戏不戏的，我不爱听。”
“That’s too bad,” I says. I made to go out.
“这可太糟了，”我说，装出一副要走的样子。
“Hush yo mouf,” Dilsey says.”Don’t you know he ain’t gwine give nothin away?”
“别犯傻了。”迪尔西说，“你还不知道他这个人是从来不白给别人东西的吗？”
“I ain’t got dat much,” he says.
“我没有那么多！”他说。
“Hush, Luster,” Dilsey says. She jerked him back.”Go on,” she says.”Drop hit in. Go on. Git hit over with.”
“别说了，勒斯特，”迪尔西说。她一把把他拉回去。“扔呀，”她说，“把它扔到火里去呀。再扔呀。全都扔进去好了。”
“How much you want fer hit?” he says.
“你要卖多少钱呢？”他问。
“I need the cash,” I says.”You can have it for a nickel.”
“我要现款，”我说。“拿五分钱来，这就是你的了。”
“All right,” I says. I dropped one of them in the stove.
“好吧。”我说。我往炉子里扔进去一张戏票。
“All right,” I says. I went on.
“那好吧。”我说完就往外走，
“I don’t want them,” I says. I came back to the stove.”I came in here to burn them up. But if you want to buy one for a nickel?” I says, looking at him and opening the stove lid.
“我不要看，”我说。我返回到炉子跟前。“我是来把它们烧掉的。不过，也许你肯出五分钱买它一张？”我说，一面瞧着他一面打开炉盖。
“Whyn’t you hush up?” Dilsey says.”He jes teasin you. He fixin to use dem tickets hisself. Go on, Jason, and let him lone.”
“你还不死心？”迪尔西说。“他只不过是在耍你。他早就拿定主意自己去看了。走吧，杰生，别惹他了。”
“I ain’t got dat much,” he says.
“我没有那么多钱，”他说。
“Five cents,” I says.
“五分钱，”我说。
“Mr Jason,” he says.
“杰生先生！”他说。
“You, Jason,” Dilsey says.”Ain’t you shamed?”
“嗨啮，杰生！”迪尔西说。“你不害臊吗？”
“I ain’t got nothin,” he says.
“我一分钱也没有，”他说，
“You can have it for a nickel,” I says.
“五分钱，这就归你！”我说。
“How much you got?” I says.
“你有多少？”我说。“
“Go on,” Dilsey says.”He ain’t got no nickel. Go on. Drop hit in.”
“烧掉吧，”迪尔西说。“他没有五分钱。扔呀；把它扔进去。”
“Mr Jason,” he says.”Please, suh. I’ll fix dem tires ev’y day fer a mont.”
“杰生先生，”他说，“求求你了，先生。我可以每天给你安轮胎，干一个月。”
“All right,” I says. I dropped it in and Dilsey shut the stove.
“那好吧，”我说。我把戏票扔进炉子，迪尔西把炉盖关上。
“What’re you doing?” I says.”We don’t need any fire tonight.”
“你要干什么？”我说。“我们今儿晚上不需要火了。”
I went on into the living room. I couldn’t hear anything from upstairs. I opened the paper. After a while Ben and Luster came in. Ben went to the dark place on the wall where the mirror used to be, rubbing his hands on it and slobbering and moaning. Luster begun punching at the fire.
我走进客厅。我听不见楼上有任何动静。我打开报纸，过了一会儿，班和勒斯特进来了。班走到墙根黑暗的地方，以前那儿挂过一面镜子。他伸出双手，在墙上擦来擦去，一边淌口水，哼哼卿卿，不知在说什么。勒斯特却捅起火来了。
“A big growed man like you,” she says.”Git on outen my kitchen. Hush,” she says to Luster.”Don’t you git Benjy started. I’ll git you a quarter fum Frony tonight and you kin go tomorrow night. Hush up, now.”
“象你这样一个大人还干这码子事！”她说。“快离开我的厨房。别吵了，”她对勒斯特说。“别又让班吉发作了。我今天晚上叫弗洛尼给你两毛五，让你明儿晚上去看演出。现在别吵吵了。”
“I tryin to keep him quiet,” he says.”Hit always cold Easter,” he says.
“我是想让班吉安静下来，”他说。“复活节总是很冷的，”他说。
“Only this is not Easter,” I says.”Let it alone.”
“今天又不是复活节，”我说。“别动它了。”
“All right,” I says. She went out. I sat there, reading the paper. After a while I heard Dilsey looking in at the door.
“好吧，”我说。她走了出去。我还坐在那里看报。过了一会儿，我听见迪尔西来到门口，把头伸了进来。
He put the poker back and got the cushion out of Mother’s chair and gave it to Ben, and he hunkered down in front of the fireplace and got quiet.
他把通条放好，从母亲的椅子上拿了那只垫子，递给班，于是班就在壁炉前面蹲下，安静下来了。
I read the paper. There hadn’t been a sound from upstairs when Dilsey came in and sent Ben and Luster on to the kitchen and said supper was ready.
我看报纸，楼上一点儿声音也没有，这时迪尔西走进来，叫班和勒斯特到厨房去，她说晚饭准备好了。
“Are they sick?” I says.”What did the doctor say it was? Not Smallpox, I hope.”
“她们病了吗？”我问。“大夫说是什么病？我希望不是出天花吧。”
I could feel her watching me at the door. I read the paper.
我可以感觉出她站在门口打量着我。我还是看我的报。
“Whut you want to act like this fer?” she says.”When you knows how much bother I has anyway.”
“你干吗要这样闹别扭啊？”她说。“你明明知道我活儿已经多得忙不过来。”
“I’m waiting for supper,” I says.
“我在等开晚饭呢，”我说。
“Whyn’t you come on and eat?” she says.
“你干吗还不来吃？”她说。
“Come on here, Jason,” she says.”So I kin git done.”
“到厨房去吧，杰生，”她说。“让我早点儿把事情做完。”
“They ain’t comin,” she says.”You come on and eat, so I can take something up to them.”
“她们不下来了！”她说。“你去吃吧，让我腾出手来给她们端去。”
“All right,” I says, raising the paper again.”I’m waiting for supper now.”
“好吧，”我说，又把报纸举在面前。“我等你开饭啊。”
“Is it?” I says.”Excuse me. I didn’t hear anybody come down.”
“是吗？”我说。“对不起。我没听见谁下楼来嘛。”
“Hit’s on the table,” she says.”I done told you.”
“晚饭已经在餐桌上摆好了，”她说。“我已经跟你说过了。”
“If Mother is any sicker than she was when she came down to dinner, all right,” I says.”But as long as I am buying food for people younger than I am, they’ll have to come down to the table to eat it. Let me know when supper’s ready,” I says, reading the paper again. I heard her climbing the stairs, dragging her feet and grunting and groaning like they were straight up and three feet apart. I heard her at Mother’s door, then I heard her calling Quentin, like the door was locked, then she went back to Mother’s room and then Mother went and talked to Quentin. Then they came down stairs. I read the paper.
“如果母亲身体特别不舒服，不能下楼来吃，那当然就算了，”我说，“可是只要是我在出钱养活年纪比我轻的人，他们就得下楼到餐桌旁来吃饭。你晚饭什么时候准备好了，通知我一声！”我说，又低下头来看我的报。我听见迪尔西上楼去了，她迈着沉重的步子，一面哼哼一面喘气，仿佛这楼梯是直上直下的，每级之间距离有三英尺之多。我听到她走到母亲的房门口，接着听见她叫昆丁，好象她的房门是锁上的。接着她又回到母亲房里，然后母亲就走出来和昆丁说话。这以后，她们一起下楼了。我还是看我的报纸。
“I’m glad you feel well enough to come down,” I says to Mother.
“您身体不错，能下来吃饭，我太高兴了！”我对母亲说。
Dilsey came back to the door.”Come on,” she says,”fo you kin think up some mo devilment. You just tryin yoself tonight.”
迪尔西又来到房门口。“来吃饭吧，”她说，“不然你不定又要想个什么鬼花招来了。你今儿晚上完全是给自己过不去。”
I went to the diningroom. Quentin was sitting with her head bent. She had painted her face again. Her nose looked like a porcelain insulator.
我来到饭厅。昆丁坐在桌旁，头耷拉着。她又抹了胭脂口红。她鼻子上涂了粉，白得象一只绝缘瓷瓶。
“It’s little enough I can do for you, to come to the table,” she says.”No matter how I feel. I realise that when a man works all day he likes to be surrounded by his family at the supper table. I want to please you. I only wish you and Quentin got along better. It would be easier for me.”
“不管我身体怎样，我下楼到餐桌边来吃饭，也算是对你的一点心意，”她说“我知道男人家在外面累了一天，喜欢全家团 聚在一起吃顿晚饭。我想让你高兴高兴。我但求你和昆丁能相处得更好些。这样我就放心了。”
“We get along all right,” I says.”I don’t mind her staying locked up in her room all day if she wants to. But I can’t have all this whoop-de-do and sulking at mealtimes. I know that’s a lot to ask her, but I’m that way in my own house. Your house, I meant to say.”
“我们相处得满不错，”我说。“她如果愿意，一整天把自己锁在屋里我也管不着。可是吃饭的时候不是吵翻天便是生闷气，那我可受不了。我知道这样对她来说要求未免太高，可这是我家里的规矩。我是说，这是您家里的规矩。”
“It’s yours,” Mother says.”You are the head of it now.”
“这是你的家。”母亲说。“现在是你当家。”。
“Did you get a good piece of meat?” I says.”If you didn’t, I’ll try to find you a better one.”
“你的那块肉好不好？”我说，“如果不好，我可以给你找一块好点儿的。”
Quentin hadn’t looked up. I helped the plates and she begun to eat.
昆丁一直没有抬头一我把菜分给大家。她吃起来了。
“It was one of those show men,” I says.”It seems his sister’s husband was out riding with some town woman, and he was chasing them.”
“是个戏子，”我说。“好象是他的妹夫带了镇上一个女的一起开车出去，他是去追他们的。”
“I was afraid you were developing one,” she says.”When you came in this afternoon.”
“你今天下午回家的时候，”她说，“我真担心你会犯病。”
“Is your headache gone?” Mother says.
“你头不疼了吧？”母亲说。
“Better let me give you some more,” I says.
“还是让我给你添一点吧，”我说。
“I say, did you get a good piece of meat?” I says.
我说：“你的那块肉好吗？”我问，
“Not at all,” I says.”You’re welcome.”
“不必客气，”我说。“你随便用好了。”
“What?” she says.”Yes. It’s all right.”
“什么？”她说。“嗯，可以。”
“Oh,” I says.”No, it didn’t show up. We stayed so busy this afternoon I forgot about it.”
“噢，”我说，“没有，疼得不厉害。我们一个下午都很忙，我把它忘了。”
“Headache?” I says.
“头疼？”我说。
She didn’t say anything.
她一声也不吭。
“I don’t want any more,” she says.
“我不要添了，”她说。
“Who was it?” Mother says.
“这人是谁？”母亲问。
Quentin sat perfectly still, chewing.
昆丁坐在那里一动不动，嘴里倒还是在咀嚼。
“No,” she says.
“不要！”她说。
“Will you have some more rice?” I says.
“你还要添点米饭吗？”我说。
“Was that why you were late?” Mother says. I could see Quentin listening. I looked at her. Her knife and fork were still going, but I caught her looking at me, then she looked at her plate again. I says, “No. I loaned my car to a fellow about three o’clock and I had to wait until he got back with it.” I ate for a while.
“你太忙，所以回来这么晚，是吗？”母亲说：我看得出昆丁在用心听着。我盯着她看。她的刀叉还在动，可是我注意到她看了我一眼，接着她又低头看着自己的盘子了。我说：“不是的，三点钟光景我把车子借给了一个人，我得等他还我车子才能回家。”我低下头去吃东西，吃了一阵子。
“Can I go now?” without looking at anybody.
“我可以走了吗？”她并不抬起头来看任何人。
“What?” I says.”Sure, you can go. Were you waiting on us?”
“为什么？”我说。“当然，你可以走。你是在等我们吃完吗？”
I didn’t say any more. Quentin sat there, crumbling the biscuit until I quit eating. Then she says,
我再没说什么。昆丁坐在那里，还在掰饼干，一直到我吃完，这时她开口了：
“I’ll tell you later,” I says.”I don’t like to talk about such things before Quentin.”
“我待会儿告诉你，”我说。“我不想当着昆丁的面讲这种事。”
“My life has been so different from that,” Mother says.”Thank God I don’t know about such wickedness. I don’t even want to know about it. I’m not like most people.”
“我过的日子可跟这种生活完全不一样，”母亲说。“感谢上帝，我可不知道这些丑事。我连打听都不想打听。我跟一般人不一样。”
“You ought not to lend your car to people like that,” Mother says.”You are too generous with it. That’s why I never call on you for it if I can help it.”
“你不应该把车子借给那种人，”母亲说，“你太大方了。所以，不是万不得已，我是绝对不求你让我用车的。
“Yes,” I says.”They don’t.”
“是的，”我说，“想象不出的。”
Quentin had quit eating. Every once in a while she’d take a drink of water, then she’d sit there crumbling a biscuit up, her face bent over her plate.
昆丁已经不在吃了。她过不了一会儿就喝一口水，然后坐在那儿把一块饼干掰碎，她低头望着盘子。
“Who was the woman?” Mother says.
“那个女的是谁？”母亲说。
“Yes,” Mother says.”I suppose women who stay shut up like I do have no idea what goes on in this town.”
“是啊，”母亲说，“象我这样深居简出的妇道人家想也想象不出镇上会发生什么事的。”
“I was beginning to think that myself, for a while,” I says.”But he got back, all right. He says he found what he was looking for.”
“我后来也觉得自己未免太大方了，”我说。“可他还是回来了，没出事儿。他说他找到他们了。”
“Why does he treat me like this, Grandmother?” she says.”I never hurt him.”
“他干吗这样对待我，外婆？”她说。“我从来没有伤害过他。”
“I want you all to get along with one another,” Mother says.”You are all that’s left now, and I do want you all to get along better.”
“我要你们大家和睦相处。”母亲说。“家里就剩下这几个人了，我希望一家子和和美美的。”
“Grandmother,” she says. “Grandmother –“
“外婆，”她说，“外婆！”
“Did you want something else to eat?” I says.
“你是不是还想吃些什么？”我问。
She looked at me. She had crumpled all the bread, but her hands still went on like they were crumpling it yet and her eyes looked like they were cornered or something and then she started biting her mouth like it ought to have poisoned her, with all that red lead.
她看着我。她已经把饼干全都捻碎了，可是她的手还在动，好象仍然在捻，她的眼睛象是给逼在一个角落里的困兽的眼睛，接着她咬起自己的嘴唇来了，仿佛这两片厚厚地涂了唇膏的嘴唇会毒害她似的。
“It’s his fault,” she says.”He won’t let me alone, and I have to. If he doesn’t want me here, why won’t he let me go back to –“
“这都得怪他，”她说，“他一定要干涉我，我受不了。如果他不喜欢我住在这儿，为什么不让我回到我——”
“That’s enough,” I says.”Not another word.”
“够了，”我说，“别再说了。”
“Then why won’t he let me alone?” she says. “He — he just –“
“那他干吗不肯放过我呢？”她说。““他——他真是——”
“It’s his fault,” she says. She jumped up.”He makes me do it. If he would just –“she looked at us, her eyes cornered, kind of jerking her arms against her sides.
“那全是他的错儿，”她说，蹦了起来。“是他逼我这么干的。只要他——”她盯着我们，两眼发直，身边那两只胳膊象是在抽搐。
“He is the nearest thing to a father you’ve ever had,” Mother says.”It’s his bread you and I eat. It’s only right that he should expect obedience from you.”
“他等于是你的父亲，”母亲说，“你和我吃的都是他挣来的面包皮。他希望你听他的活，这也是对的。”
“I just know,” she says.”I wish you could be kinder to her.”
“我反正知道，”她说。“我希望你能对她厚道些。”
“There are little things you could do,” she says.
“有些小事情你本来是可以做的，”她说。
“Whatever I do, it’s your fault,” she says.”If I’m bad, it’s because I had to be. You made me. I wish I was dead. I wish we were all dead.” Then she ran. We heard her run up the stairs. Then a door slammed.
“反正不管我做出什么事儿，都得怨你，”她说。“如果我坏，这是因为我没法不坏。是你逼出来的。我但愿自己死了拉倒；我真愿意咱们这家子全都死了。”接着她跑出房间。我们听见她往楼上跑去。这以后，一扇门砰的关上了。
“How do you know?” I says.”Were you down town?”
“您怎么知道的？”我说。“您到镇上去过啦？”
“If I would just what?” I says.
“只要我怎么样？”我说。
“She didn’t go to school today,” she says.”I just know she didn’t. She says she went for a car ride with one of the boys this afternoon and you followed her.”
“她今天没去上学，”他说。“我很清楚她没有去。她说她今天下午和一个小伙子一起坐车出去玩了，可你跟在她的后面。”
“If I did that I’d have to arrange to see her more than once a day,” I says.”You’ll have to make her come to the table every meal. Then I could give her an extra piece of meat every time.”
“要我这样做，那得每天多见到她几回才行，”我说，“您得让她每顿饭都到餐桌上来吃。这样我每顿饭就可以多给她吃几块好肉了。”
“How could I,” I says.”When somebody had my car all afternoon? Whether or not she was in school today is already past,” I says.”If you’ve got to worry about it, worry about next Monday.”
“这怎么可能呢？”我说，“整整一个下午，我的车让别人借走了。不管她今天有没有逃学，这已经是过去的事情了，”我说。“您若是非要操心不可，您就操心操心下星期一吧。”
“She didn’t go to school today,” Mother says.
“她今天没有去上学，”母亲说。
“Like not paying any attention when you ask me to see that she goes to school?” I says.
“就象当您吩咐我看着点，别让她逃学时，我充耳不闻，是吗？”我说。
“That’s the first sensible thing she ever said,” I says.
“她长到这么大，还是头一回讲有道理的话呢，”我说。
“Good Lord,” I says.”You’ve got a fine mind. No wonder you keep yourself sick all the time.”
“老天爷啊，”我说，“您想象力真丰富。这就难怪您老是缠绵病榻了。”
“What?” she says.”I don’t understand.”
“什么？”她说。“我不明白你的意思。”
“I wanted you and she to get along with one another,” she says.”But she has inherited all of the headstrong traits. Quentin’s too. I thought at the time, with the heritage she would already have, to give her that name, too. Sometimes I think she is the judgment of both of them upon me.”
“我是要你跟她和睦相处。”她说。“不过那种任性的脾气她全继承下来了。这也是她舅舅昆丁的性格。当时，我就是考虑到她没准已经继承了那种性格，才给她起了这样的名字。有时候，我觉得她是凯蒂和昆丁对我的惩罚。”
“They were both that way,” she says.”They would make interest with your father against me when I tried to correct them. He was always saying they didn’t need controlling, that they already knew what cleanliness and honesty were, which was all that anyone could hope to be taught. And now I hope he’s satisfied.”
“他们俩①都是那样的，”他说，“我想管教他们的时候，他们就和父亲联合起来对付我。他总是说不用管他们，说他们已经知道什么是纯洁与高尚，而任何人只要具有了这两种品质，也就不用给他们操心了。现在我寻思他总该满意了吧。”（注：①指女儿凯蒂与儿子昆丁。）
“You’ve got Ben to depend on,” I says.”Cheer up.”
“您还有班可以依靠呢，”我说，“别那么垂头丧气了。”
“I hope not,” I says.”A good woman misses a lot she’s better off without knowing.”
“我也不指望您明白，”我说。“大家闺秀总是不谙世故的，她们愈不懂事愈显得自己高贵。”
“They deliberately shut me out of their lives,” she says.”It was always her and Quentin. They were always conspiring against me. Against you too, though you were too young to realise it. They always looked on you and me as outsiders, like they did your Uncle Maury. I always told your father that they were allowed too much freedom, to be together too much. When Quentin started to school we had to let her go the next year, so she could be with him. She couldn’t bear for any of you to do anything she couldn’t. It was vanity in her, vanity and false pride. And then when her troubles began I knew that Quentin would feel that he had to do something just as bad. But I didn’t believe that he would have been so selfish as to — I didn’t dream that he –“
“他们存心把我排除在他们生活之外，。她说，“他总是跟她和昆丁亲，他们老是鬼鬼祟祟地联合起来反对我，也反对你，虽然那会儿你木小还不明白。他们总是把你和我看成外人，他们也总是对你毛莱舅舅见外。我老是对你父亲说，对他们管束得太不严了，他们在一起的时间太长了。昆丁进学堂念书。到第二年，我们只好让凯蒂也去，她要跟他在一起嘛。你们男孩子干什么，她也要干，不让干就不高兴。这是她的虚荣心在作怪，虚荣心，还有她那种莫名其妙的骄傲。后来她开始不大对头了，我就知道昆丁一定会有反应，也会做出同样不对头的事的。可是我哪料得到他会如此自私，竟然——我做梦也设想到他——”
“He could have controlled her,” she says.”He seemed to be the only person she had any consideration for. But that is a part of the judgment too, I suppose.”
“他原是可以管住她的。”她说。“只有他的话凯蒂还听得进去。不过，这大概也是对我的一种惩罚，我看。”
“Maybe he knew it was going to be a girl,” I says.”And that one more of them would be more than he could stand.”
“也许他知道生出来的准是个女孩①，”我说，“再多一个女的出来，那他是不能忍受的。”（注：①意思是：昆丁猜想凯蒂会生一个女孩。昆丁对凯蒂怀有特殊的感情，不能容忍第三者介入。）
“Yes,” I says.”Too bad it wasn’t me instead of him. You’d be a lot better off.”
“是的，”我说，“死了的偏偏是他而不是我，这未免太糟糕了。要是倒过来，您日子会好过得多。”
“You say things like that to hurt me,” she says.”I deserve it though. When they began to sell the land to send Quentin to Harvard I told your father that he must make an equal provision for you. Then when Herbert offered to take you into the bank I said, Jason is provided for now, and when all the expense began to pile up and I was forced to sell our furniture and the rest of the pasture, I wrote her at once because I said she will realise that she and Quentin have had their share and part of Jason’s too and that it depends on her now to compensate him. I said she will do that out of respect for her father. I believed that, then. But I’m just a poor old woman; I was raised to believe that people would deny themselves for their own flesh and blood. It’s my fault. You were right to reproach me.”
“你老说这样的话，存心要刺激我，”她说。“不过，话又说回来，我是自作自受。当初，家里要卖地供昆丁上哈佛，我跟你爸爸说过，一定也得给你作出同样的安排。后来赫伯特提出要让你进银行做事，我就说，杰生现在总算有依靠了。这以后开销越来越大，我只好变卖家具和剩下的那块牧场，我就立刻给她去信，我说她应当明白她和昆丁都得到了自己的一份，甚至还占去了该归杰生的一部分。现在得由她来补偿了。我说，看在父亲的份上地也应该这样做。我当时还满以为她会做到的。可是我不过是个没用的老婆子；我从小受到的教养都是认为人为了照顾骨肉兄弟是会自奉俭朴的。这都是我的错儿。你怪罪于我是完全有理的。”
“No,” I says.”You wouldn’t know. And you can thank your stars for that,” I says. Only what would be the use in saying it aloud. It would just have her crying on me again.
“她是不看的，”我说，“究竟怎样您就设法知道了。您只能求老天爷保佑了，”我说，不过我把这话说出来有什么用呢，只会让她扑在我肩膀上再哭上一次而已。
“All right,” I says.”I didn’t mean that. Of course not.”
“好吧，”我说，“我方才不是存心想刺激您。当然不是存心的。”
“Of course it’s not,” I says.”I didn’t mean it.”
“我当然不是存心的，”我说。“我不是存心的。”
“If I believed that were possible, after all my suffering.”
“我酸甜苦辣各种滋味都尝遍了，我不相信谁还能给我增添什么苦恼了。”
“Sure it is,” I says.”She’s too much like both of them to doubt that.”
“当然不啦，”我说，“她①太象他们俩了，这是明摆着的。”（注：①“她”指小昆丁。）
“I don’t know what else she’d do in there alone,” she says.”She never did read any.”
“她一个人关在里面，我不知道除了用功还有什么可干的，”她说。“她是从来不看闲书的。”
“Has she been worrying you any more about getting out at night?”
“为了她晚上出去的问题，她还跟你纠缠吗？”
“Then quit thinking about it,” I says.
“那您别去想它好了。”我说。
“Do you think I need any man’s help to stand on my feet?” I says.”Let alone a woman that can’t name the father of her own child.”
“您以为少了别人的提掖我就站不住脚跟了吗？”我说，“您以为我甚至于要靠一个连自己孩子的爸爸是谁都说不清楚的女人拉一把吗？”
“I hope that at least is spared me,” she says.
“我希望你至少不跟我来这一套，”她说。
“I couldn’t bear that,” she says.
“我真不能容忍，”她说。
“Jason,” she says.
“杰生！”她说。
“No. I made her realise that it was for her own good and that she’d thank me for it some day. She takes her books with her and studies after I lock the door. I see the light on as late as eleven o’clock some nights.”
“不。我让她明白不出去是为她自己好，她日后会感谢我的。地把课本都带上，我锁上门之后她就在里面用功。有几天晚上，一直到十一点我看见灯还亮着呢。”
“How do you know she’s studying?” I says.
“您怎么知道她是在用功呢？”我说。
I heard her go up stairs. Then she called Quentin and Quentin says What? through the door.”Goodnight,” Mother says. Then I heard the key in the lock, and Mother went back to her room.
我听见她上楼去的声音。接着她喊昆丁，昆丁透过门应了声“什么事啊？”母亲说：“晚安。”接着我听见钥匙转动锁上门的声音。这以后母亲回到她房间去了。
When I finished my cigar and went up, the light was still on. I could see the empty keyhole, but I couldn’t hear a sound. She studied quiet. Maybe she learned that in school. I told Mother goodnight and went on to my room and got the box out and counted it again. I could hear the Great American Gelding snoring away like a planing mill. I read somewhere they’d fix men that way to give them women’s voices. But maybe he didn’t know what they’d done to him. I don’t reckon he even knew what he had been trying to do, or why Mr Burgess knocked him out with the fence picket. And if they’d just sent him on to Jackson while he was under the ether, he’d never have known the difference. But that would have been too simple for a Compson to think of. Not half complex enough. Having to wait to do it at all until he broke out and tried to run a little girl down on the street with her own father looking at him. Well, like I say they never started soon enough with their cutting, and they quit too quick. I know at least two more that needed something like that, and one of them not over a mile away, either. But then I don’t reckon even that would do any good. Like I say once a bitch always a bitch. And just let me have twenty-four hours without any dam New York jew to advise me what it’s going to do. I don’t want to make a killing; save that to suck in the smart gamblers with. I just want an even chance to get my money back. And once I’ve done that they can bring all Beale street and all bedlam in here and two of them can sleep in my bed and another one can have my place at the table too.
我抽完雪茄上楼的时候，昆丁房里的灯光还亮着。我看见那个抽去了钥匙的钥匙孔，可是我听不到一点儿声音。她用功的时候可真够安静的。也许她在学校里也是这样学习 的吧。我跟母亲说了声晚安就走进自己的房间，我把箱子取出来又把钱点了一遍。我听见那位“美国头号大太监”①鼾声如雷，就象一家锯木厂在通夜开工。我在某本书里读到过，有的男人，为了说话象女人那样尖声尖气，就让自己给动了手术。不过也许班根本不知道人家给他动过手术了。我看他当时想干什么连自己都不清楚呢，也不明白伯吉斯先生干吗要用栅栏桩子把他打晕。而且如果不等他麻药药劲过去就把他送到杰克逊去，我敢说他也根本察觉不出来自己换了地方。可是康普生家的人是不会考虑这样一个直截了当的办法的。比这复杂一倍的办法他们还看不上呢。总要等到他冲出了大门，在街上追赶一个小姑娘，而她的爸爸又恰好在近旁看到了这幅景象，他们才肯采取措施。哼，我早就说过了，他们迟迟不舍得用刀，用了又赶紧把刀子收起来，据我所知，至少还有两个傻子也应该动这样的手术，其中一个就近在一英里之内的地方。可是即使都这样做了，也不见得能解决问题。我早说过，天生是贱坯就永远是贱坯。给我二十四小时自由 行动的权力试试看，别让那些该死的纽约犹太佬来对我指手划脚。我倒不是想大捞一把，这种手段只可以用来对付那些鬼精灵的赌棍。我只求给我一个公平的机会，让我把自己的钱赚回来。等我赚回来了，那就让整条比尔街和整个疯人院都搬到我家里来好了，让其中的两位②到我的床 上去睡，再让另一位③坐到我餐桌的位于上去大吃大喝好了。（注：①指班吉。②指凯蒂与小昆丁。③指班吉。）
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