“Wang Miao?” The way the cop addressed him by name only, so direct and impolite, made Wang uncomfortable. Adding to the insult, the man lit a cigarette as he addressed him, without even lifting his head to show his face. Before Wang could answer, the man nodded at the younger cop, who showed Wang his badge. Having lit the cigarette, the older cop moved to enter Wang’s apartment.
“汪淼？”那人问，直呼其名令汪淼很不舒服，况且那人同时还在点烟，头都不抬一下。不等汪淼回答，他就向旁边那位年轻人示意了一下，后者向汪淼出示了警官证，他点完烟后就直接向屋里闯。
As soon as Wang saw the cops, he felt annoyed. The younger one was all right — at least he was polite. But the other one, in plainclothes, immediately grated on him. He was thickset and had a face full of bulging muscles. Wearing a dirty leather jacket, smelling of cigarettes, and speaking in a loud voice, he was exactly the sort of person Wang despised.
汪淼第一眼就对来找他的警察没有好感。其实那名穿警服的年轻人还行，举止很有礼貌，但那位便衣就让人讨厌了。这人长得五大三粗，一脸横肉，穿着件脏兮兮的皮夹克，浑身烟味，说话粗声大嗓，是最令汪淼反感的那类人。
Wang Miao thought the four people who came to find him made a rather odd combination: two cops and two men in military uniforms. If the latter two were armed police, that would be somewhat understandable, but they were actually PLA officers.
汪淼觉得，来找他的这四个人是一个奇怪的组合：两名警察和两名军人，如果那两个军人是武警还算正常，但这是两名陆军军官。
Forty-plus years later
三十八年后
“Please don’t smoke in my home,” Wang said, blocking him.
“请不要在我家里抽烟。”汪淼拦住了他。
“Professor Wang, we want to know if you’ve had any recent contacts with members of the Frontiers of Science,” the young cop said.
“汪教授，我们是想了解一下，最近你与‘科学边界’学会的成员有过接触，是吧？”
“Fine, we can talk in the hallway,” Shi said. He took a deep drag. Almost half the cigarette had turned to ashes, and he didn’t blow out much smoke. He inclined his head toward the younger police officer. “You ask him, then.”
“成，那就在楼道里说吧。”史强说着，深深地吸了一大口，手中的烟几乎燃下去一半，之后竟不见吐出烟来。 “你问。”他又向年轻警官偏了一下头。
“The Frontiers of Science is full of famous scholars, and very influential. Why can’t I have contact with a legal international academic group?”
“‘科学边界’是一个在国际学术界很有影响的学术组织，成员都是著名学者。这样一个合法的学术组织，我怎么就不能接触了呢？”
“Oh, sorry, Professor Wang.” The young police officer smiled. “This is Captain Shi Qiang.” He gave Shi a pleading look.
“哦，对不起，汪教授。这是我们史强队长。”年轻警官微笑着说，同时对姓史的使了个眼色。
“Look at the way you talk!” Shi said. “Did we say anything about it not being legal? Did we say anything about you not being allowed to contact them?” He finally blew out the lungful of smoke that he had sucked in earlier — right in Wang’s face.
“你看看你这个人！”史强大声说， “我们说它不合法了吗？我们说不让你接触了吗？”他说着，刚才吸进肚子里的烟都喷到汪淼脸上。
“All right then. Please respect my privacy. I don’t need to answer your questions.”
“那好，这属于个人隐私，我没必要回答你们的问题。”
“Your privacy? You’re a famous academic. You have a responsibility toward the public welfare.” Shi threw away the butt and took out another cigarette from a flattened pack.
“还啥都成隐私了，像你这样一个著名学者，总该对公共安全负责吧。”史强把手中的烟头扔掉，又从压扁了的烟盒里抽出一根。
“Wait!” Shi shouted. He waved at the young cop next to him. “Give him the address and phone number. You can come by in the afternoon.”
“等等！”史强厉声说，同时朝旁边的年轻警官挥了一下手， “给他地址和电话，下午去走一趟。”
“What are you really after?” Wang said, his voice now tinged with anger. The argument brought the neighbors, curious about what was happening, out into the hallway.
“你要干什么！”汪淼愤怒地质问，这争吵引得邻居探出头来，想看看出了什么事。
“I have the right to not answer. Please leave.” Wang turned around to go back inside.
“我有权不回答，你们请便吧。”汪淼说着要转身回屋。
“Captain Shi! You said you –” The young cop pulled Shi aside and continued speaking to him in hushed, urgent tones. Apparently, Wang wasn’t the only one annoyed by his rough manners.
“史队！你说你一一”年轻警官生气地将史强拉到一边，显然他的粗俗不止是让汪淼一人不适应。
“I’m busy this afternoon.”
“我下午很忙。”
“Professor Wang, please don’t misunderstand.” One of the army officers, a major, stepped forward. “There’s an important meeting this afternoon, to which several scholars and specialists are invited. The general sent us to invite you.”
“汪教授，请别误会。”一名少校军官急忙上前，“下午有一个重要会议，要请几位学者和专家参加，首长让我们来邀请您。”
“We know. The general already spoke with the head of the Nanotechnology Research Center. We can’t have this meeting without you. If you can’t attend, we’ll have to reschedule.”
“这我们清楚，首长已经向超导中心领导打了招呼。这次会议上不能没有您，实在不行，我们只有把会议延期等您了。”
Shi and the young cop said nothing. Both turned and went down the stairs. The two army officers watched them leave and seemed to sigh with relief.
史强和他的同事没再说话，转身下楼了，两位军官看着他们走远，似乎都长出了一口气。
“What’s wrong with that guy?” the major whispered to the other officer.
“这人怎么这样儿。”少校小声对同事说。
“He’s got quite a record. During a hostage crisis a few years ago, he acted recklessly, without concern for the lives of the hostages. In the end, a family of three all died at the hands of the criminals. Rumor has it that he’s also friendly with elements of organized crime, using one gang to fight another. Last year, he used torture to obtain confessions, and permanently disabled one of the suspects. That’s why he was suspended from duty…”
“他劣迹斑斑，前几年在一次劫持人质事件中，他不顾人质的死活擅自行动，结果导致一家三口惨死在罪犯手中；据说他还和黑社会打得火热，用一帮黑道势力去收拾另一帮；去年又搞刑讯逼供，使一名嫌疑人致残，因此被停职了……”
“How can a man like that be part of the Battle Command Center?” the major asked.
“这种人怎么能进作战中心？”
“The general specifically requested him. I guess he must have some special skills. In any case, his duties are quite restricted. Other than public safety matters, he’s not allowed to know much.”
“首长点名要他，应该有什么过人之处吧。不过，对他限制挺严，除了公安方面的事务，几乎什么都不让他知道。”
Battle Command Center? Wang looked at the two officers, baffled.
作战中心？那是什么？江淼不解地看着面前的两位军官。
The car they sent for Wang Miao took him to a large compound in the suburbs. Since the door had only a number and no sign, Wang deduced that this building belonged to the military, rather than the police.
接汗淼的汽车驶进了城市近郊的一座大院，从那只有门牌号码没有单位名牌的大门，汪淼知道这里是军方而不是警方的地盘。
The meeting table, formed by pushing several smaller tables together, was piled with documents and odds and ends. The attendees, their clothes wrinkled, looked exhausted. Those wearing ties had all pulled them loose. It seemed as if they had been up all night.
临时拼凑的会议桌上也是堆满了文件和杂物，与会者大多神情疲惫，衣服皱巴巴的，有领带的都扯开了，好像熬了一夜。
Wang was surprised by the chaos as he entered the large meeting room. Around him were numerous computers in various states of disarray. They had run out of table space and put a few workstations directly on the floor, where power cords and networking wires formed a tangled mess. Instead of being installed in racks, a bunch of routers were left haphazardly on top of the servers. Printer paper was scattered everywhere. A few projector screens stood in various corners of the room, sticking out at odd angles like gypsy tents. A cloud of smoke hovered over the room… Wang Miao wasn’t sure if this was the Battle Command Center, but he was sure of one thing: Whatever they were dealing with was too important for them to care about keeping up appearances.
会议是在一个大厅里举行的，汪淼一进去就对这里的纷乱吃惊不小。大厅周围是一圈胡乱安放的电脑设备，有的桌子上放不下就直接搁地板上，电线和网线纠缠着散在地上；一大摞网络交换机没有安在机架内，而是随手堆放在服务器上；有好几个投影仪的大屏幕，在大厅的角落里呈不同角度随意立着，像吉普赛人的帐篷；烟雾像晨雾般在半空浮了一层……汪淼不知道这是否就是那名军官所说的作战中心，有一点他可以肯定：这里在处理的事情，已经让人们顾不上其他了。
A major general named Chang Weisi presided over the meeting, and half the attendees were military officers. After a few quick introductions, Wang found out that many of the others were police. The rest were academics like him, with a few prominent scientists specializing in basic research in the mix.
主持会议的是一位叫常伟思的陆军少将，与会者有一半是军人。经过简单的介绍，他知道还有少部分警方人员，其他的人都是和他一样参加会议的专家学者，其中有几位还是很有名望的科学家，而且是研究基础科学的。
“Nanomaterial,” Wang answered.
“纳米材料。”汪淼简单地回答。
On the faces of everyone around the table, Wang could read one sentiment: We’ve done all we can. Let’s fucking get it over with, already.
从所有人的脸上，汪淼都读出了一句话：我们已经尽力了，快他妈的结束吧！
He also found four foreigners in attendance. Their identities shocked him: a United States Air Force colonel and a British Army colonel, both NATO liaisons, as well as two CIA officers, apparently acting as observers.
令他感到意外的是还有四个外国人，这些人的身份令他大吃一惊：其中的两个人也是军人，分别是美军空军上校和英国陆军上校，职务是北约联络员；另外两人居然是美国中央情报局的官员，在这里的职务是什么观察员。
As documents were distributed, Shi moved closer to Wang. “Professor Wang, I understand you’re researching some kind of… new material?”
发文件时，史强凑近汪淼说：“汪教授，你好像是在研究什么……新材料？”
“I’ve heard of it. That stuff is really strong, right? Do you think it could be used to commit crimes?” As Shi’s face was still half smirking, Wang couldn’t tell if he was joking.
“我听说过，那玩意儿强度很高，不会被用于犯罪吧？”从史强那带有一半调侃的表情上，汪淼看不出他是不是开玩笑。
Wang Miao saw Shi Qiang sitting at the table. In contrast to his rudeness yesterday, Shi greeted Wang as “Professor.” But the smirk on Shi’s face annoyed Wang. He didn’t want to sit next to Shi, but he had no choice, as that was the only empty seat. The already thick cloud of cigarette smoke in the room became thicker.
汪淼看到了史强，他倒是一反昨天的粗鲁，向汪淼打招呼，但那一脸傻笑让汪淼愉快不起来。他不想挨史强坐，但也只有那一个空位，他只好坐过去，屋里本来已经很浓的烟味更加重了。
“What do you mean?”
“什么意思？”
“Heh. I heard that a strand of that stuff could be used to lift up a truck. If criminals steal some and make it into a knife, can’t they slice a car in half with one stroke?”
“呵，听说那玩意儿一根头发丝粗就能吊起一辆大卡车，犯罪分子要是偷点儿去做把刀，那一刀就能把一辆汽车砍成两截吧。”
Shi pulled a document halfway out of the envelope in front of him and shoved it back in again, suddenly losing interest. “You’re right. Even a fish can be used to commit a crime. I handled a murder case once. Some bitch cut off her husband’s family jewels. You know what she used? A frozen tilapia she got out of the freezer! The spines along the back were like razors –“
史强把面前的文件从袋中抽出一半又塞了回去，显然没了兴趣。 “说得对，鱼都能犯罪呢！我办过一个杀人案，一个娘们儿把她丈夫的那玩意儿割下来了。知道用的是什么？冰箱里冷冻的罗非鱼！鱼冻硬后，背上的那排刺就跟一把快刀似的……”
“There’s no need to even make it into a knife. That kind of material can be made into a line as thin as one-hundredth of a hair. If you string it across a road, a passing car would be sliced into two halves like cheese — but what can’t be used for criminal purposes? Even a dull knife for descaling a fish can!”
“哼，根本不用做成刀，用那种材料做一根只有头发丝百分之一粗细的线，拦在路上，就能把过往的汽车像切奶酪那样切成两半……啥不能用于犯罪？刮鱼鳞的刀都能！”
“Fish? Nanomaterials? No, no, nothing to do with those.” Shi put his mouth next to Wang’s ear. “Don’t be nice to them. They’re prejudiced against us. All they want is to get information out of us, but never tell us anything. Look at me. I’ve been here for a month, and I still don’t know anything, just like you.”
“鱼？纳米材料？不、不，与那些都没关系。”史强把嘴凑到汪淼耳边， “别给这帮家伙好脸，他们歧视咱们，只想从咱们这里掏情报，但什么都不告诉咱们。像我，在这儿混了一个多月，还和你一样什么都不知道。”
“I’m not interested. Did you ask me to the meeting just to talk about this?”
“我没兴趣，怎么，让我来开会就是为这事儿？”
The unusual term “combat zone” gave Wang pause. He also noticed that the general did not seem to want to explain in detail the background of what they were dealing with to new people like him. This supported Shi’s point. Also, in General Chang’s short opening remarks, he used the word “comrades” twice. Wang looked at the NATO and CIA officers sitting across from him. The general had neglected to add “gentlemen.”
“战区”这个不寻常的术语令汪淼迷惑，他还注意到，首长好像并没有打算向他这样的新人介绍来龙去脉，这倒是印证了史强的话。在常将军这简短的开场白中，他两次提到了 “同志们”，汪淼看看对面的两名北约军人和两个美国中情局官员，感觉将军似乎漏掉了“先生们”。
While he was baffled by how Shi knew what he was thinking, Wang was impressed with his powers of observation.
在迷惑的同时，汪淼对史强的观察力留下了些印象。
“Comrades,” General Chang said, “let’s get started. Of all the combat zones around the globe, this one has become the focal point. We need to update the current situation for all the attending comrades.”
“同志们，会议开始。”常伟思将军说， “在全球各战区，我们这里现在成为焦点。首先把当前情况向与会的同志们介绍一下。”
“They’re also comrades. Anyway, that’s how everyone addresses each other here,” Shi whispered to Wang, pointing at the four foreigners with his cigarette.
“他们也是同志，反正这边的人都是这么称呼的。”史强低声地对汪淼说，同时用手中的烟指了指那四个外国人。
“Da Shi, put out your cigarette. There’s enough smoke here,” General Chang said as he flipped through some documents. He called Shi Qiang by a nickname, “Big Shi.”
“大史，你把烟熄了，这儿的烟味够浓了。”常伟思说，低头翻着文件。
“We are not the same as the eggheads,” Shi said. “The police have been part of the Battle Command Center from the start. But even now, we still don’t know what this is all about. You continue to push the police out. You learn from us what you need about our techniques, and then you send us away one by one.”
“但我们不一样。”史强说， “警方从作战中心成立之初就一直参与，可直到现在，我们连这个机构到底是干什么的都不知道。而且，你们正在把警方排挤出去，你们一步步熟悉我们的工作，然后把我们一个个赶走。”
Shi looked around but couldn’t find an ashtray. In the end, he dropped the cigarette into a teacup. He raised his hand, and before Chang could even acknowledge him, he spoke loudly. “General, I have a request which I’ve made before: I want information parity.”
史强拿着刚点着的烟四下看看，没找到烟灰缸，就“吱啦”一声扔到茶杯里了。他抓住这个机会举手要求发言，没等常伟思表态就大声说道：“首长，我提个要求，以前提过的——信息对等！ ”
General Chang lifted his head. “There’s never been a military operation in which there was information parity. I have to apologize to all the scholars, but we cannot give you any more background.”
常伟思将军抬起头， “没有任何一个军事行动是信息对等的，这点也请到会的专家学者们谅解，我们不可能给你们介绍更多的背景资料。”
“Da Shi, it seems that you still have the same problem you had back when you were in the army. You think you can speak for the police? Because of your poor record, you had already been suspended for several months, and you were about to be expelled from the force. I asked for you because I value your experience in city policing. You should treasure this opportunity.”
“我说大史，现在看来，你在部队上的老毛病还没改。你能代表警方吗？你因为自己的恶劣行为已被停职好几个月了，马上就要被清除出公安队伍。我调你来，是看重你在城市警务方面的经验，你要珍惜这次机会。”
Several other police officers in attendance whispered to Shi to shut up. It surprised Wang that Shi dared to speak in this manner to a man of Chang’s rank. But Chang’s response surprised him even more.
与会的另外几名警官都在低声制止史强。史强敢对常伟思这样级别的首长这么说话，汪淼有些吃惊，而后者的反击更犀利。
Shi continued to speak roughly. “So I’m working in the hope of redeeming myself by good service? I thought you told me that all my techniques were dishonest and crooked.”
大史用粗嗓门说：“那我是戴罪立功了？你们不是说那都是些歪门邪道的经验吗？ ”
“But useful.” Chang nodded at Shi. “All we care about is if they’re useful. In a time of war, we can’t afford to be too scrupulous.”
“但有用。”常伟思对史强点点头， “有用就行，现在顾不了那么多了，这是战争时期。”
“We can’t be too fastidious,” a CIA officer said, in perfect Modern Standard Mandarin. “We can no longer rely on conventional thinking.”
“什么都顾不了了，”一位CIA的情报官员用标准的普通话说， “我们不能再用常规思维。”
The British colonel apparently also understood Chinese. He nodded. “To be, or not to be…” he added in English. “It’s a matter of life and death.”
那位英军上校显然也能听懂中文，他点点头， “To be or not to be。。。”
“What is he saying?” Shi asked Wang.
“他说什么？”史强问汪淼。
“Nothing,” Wang replied mechanically. The people before him seemed to be speaking out of a dream. Time of war? Where is this war? He twisted to look out one of the floor-length windows. Through the window he could see Beijing in the distance: Under the spring sun, cars filled the streets like a dense river; on a lawn someone was walking a dog; a few children were playing…
“没什么。”汪淼机械地回答。这些人似乎在梦呓，战争时期？战争在哪儿？他扭头望向大厅的落地窗，透过窗子可以看到远处大院外面的城市：春天的阳光下，街道上车流如织；草坪上有人在遛狗，还有几个孩子在玩耍……
Which is more real? The world inside or outside these walls?
里面和外面的世界，哪个更真实？
“Professor Wang, as you look through these names, does anything strike you?” General Chang asked.
“汪教授，看到这份名单，您有什么印象？”常伟思看着汪淼问。
General Chang said, “Recently, the enemy has intensified the pattern of attacks. The targets remain elite scientists. Please begin by taking a look at the list of names in the document.”
常将军讲道：“最近，敌人的攻击明显加强了，目标仍是科学界高层，请你们先看一下文件中的那份名单。”
“You know her?” Shi pointed to the name with a thick finger, stained yellow from smoking. Wang did not reply. “Ha. Don’t know her. But want to know her?”
“认识？”大史用一根被烟熏黄的粗指头指着文件上的那个名字问，汪淼没有反应。 “呵，不太认识。想认识？”
Wang took out the first page of the document, printed in large font. The list seemed to have been generated in a hurry, containing both Chinese and English names.
汪淼抽出文件中最上面的那张纸，是用大号字打印的，名单显然拟得很仓促，中文和英文姓名都有。
Now Wang Miao understood why it made sense for General Chang to have asked to have this man who was once a soldier under his command. Shi, who appeared so vulgar and careless, had eyes as sharp as knives. Maybe he wasn’t a good cop, but he was certainly a fearsome one.
现在，汪淼知道常伟思把他以前的这个战士调来是有道理的，这个外表粗俗的家伙，眼睛跟刀子一样。他也许不是个好警察，但确实是个狠角色。
“I know three of the names. All of them are famous scholars working at the forefront of physics research.” Wang was a little distracted. His eyes locked onto the last name on the list. In his mind, the two characters took on a different tint than the names above it. How can her name appear here? What happened to her?
“我知道其中的三人，都是物理学最前沿的著名学者。”汪淼答道，有些心不在焉，他的目光锁定在最后一个名字上，在他的潜意识中，那两个字的色彩与上面几行字是不同的。怎么会在这里看到她的名字？她怎么了？
The main component of the composition was the solenoid of the superconducting magnet they were still installing. About three stories high and only half completed, the magnet loomed like a monster made of giant blocks of metal and a confusing mess of cryogenic coolant pipes. Like a junk heap from the Industrial Revolution, the structure exuded inhuman technological grimness and steel-bound barbarity.
构图的主体就是他们正在安装的超导线圈，那线圈有三层楼高，安装到一半，看上去是一个由巨大的金属块和乱麻般的超低温制冷剂管道组成的怪物，仿佛一堆大工业时代的垃圾，显示出一种非人性的技术的冷酷和钢铁的野蛮。
A year earlier, Wang Miao had been in charge of the nanoscale components for the “Sinotron II” high-energy particle accelerator project. One afternoon, during a brief break at the Liangxiang construction site, Wang was struck by the scene before him. As a landscape photography enthusiast, Wang often saw the sights around him as artistic compositions.
那是一年前，汪淼是“中华二号”高能加速器项目纳米构件部分的负责人。那天下午在良湘的工地上，一次短暂的休息中，他突然被眼前的一幅构图吸引了。作为一名风景摄影爱好者，现实的场景经常在他眼中形成一幅幅艺术构图。
In front of this metal monster stood the slim figure of a young woman. The composition’s lighting was fantastic as well: The metal monster was buried in the shadow of a temporary construction shelter, further emphasizing its stern, rough quality. But a single ray of light from the westering sun coming through the central hole in the shelter fell right on the woman. The soft glow lit up her supple hair and highlighted her white neck above the collar of her overalls, as though a single flower was blooming in a metal ruin after a violent thunderstorm…
就在这金属巨怪前面，出现了一个年轻女性纤细的身影。这构图的光线分布也很绝：金属巨怪淹没在临时施工顶棚的阴影里，更透出那冷峻、粗糙的质感；而一束夕阳金色的光，透过顶棚的孔洞正好投在那个身影上，柔和的暖光照着她那柔顺的头发，照着工作服领口上白皙的脖颈，看上去就像一场狂暴的雷雨后，巨大的金属废墟上开出了一朵娇柔的花……
Wang was shocked out of his reverie, but then realized that the director of the Nanotechnology Research Center wasn’t talking to him, but to a young engineer who had also been staring at the woman. Having returned from art to reality, Wang saw that the young woman wasn’t an ordinary worker — the chief engineer stood next to her, explaining something respectfully.
汪淼吓了一跳，然后发现纳米研究中心主任说的不是他，而是一名年轻工程师，后者也和自己一样呆呆地望着那个身影。汪淼从艺术中回到现实，发现那位女性不是一般的工作人员，因为总工程师陪同着她，在向她介绍着什么，一副很尊敬的样子。
“What are you looking at? Get back to work!”
“看什么看，干活儿！”
“Who is she?” Wang asked the director.
“她是谁？”汪淼问主任。
“What? Yang Dong is… a woman?”
“什么？杨冬是……女的？！”
“Indeed,” the director said. “We only found out when we finally met her two days ago.”
“是的，我们也是在前天见到她时才知道。”主任说。
“You should know her,” the director said, waving his hand around in a large circle. “The first experiment on this twenty-billion-yuan accelerator will probably be to test her superstring model. Now, seniority matters in theoretical physics, and normally, she wouldn’t have been senior enough to get the first shot. But those older academics didn’t dare to show up first, afraid that they might fail and lose face, so that’s why she got the chance.”
“你应该知道她的，”主任说，用手划了一大圈，“这个投资二百亿的加速器建成后，第一次运行的可能就是验证她提出的一个超弦模型。要说在论资排辈的理论研究圈子，本来轮不到她的，可那些老家伙不敢先来，怕丢人，就让她捡了个便宜。”
“But at least we knew Qian’s gender. I bet Yang had some unusual experiences as a child. Maybe it made her somewhat autistic.” Wang’s words were tinged with a hint of self-mockery. He wasn’t even famous enough for the media to be interested in him, let alone to turn down interview requests.
“可我们也不至于不知道钱钟书的性别吧？我觉得她童年一定有什么不寻常的经历，以致得了自闭症。”汪淼说，多少有一些酸葡萄心理。
The young engineer asked, “Does she have some psychological issue? Why else wouldn’t she agree to be interviewed by the media? Maybe she’s like Qian Zhongshu, who died without ever appearing on TV.”
那名工程师问：“她这人是不是有什么心理障碍，要不怎么会从来不上媒体呢？别像是钱钟书似的，到死大家也没能在电视上看上一眼。”
Yang walked over with the chief engineer. As they passed, she smiled at Wang and the others, nodding lightly without saying anything. Wang remembered her limpid eyes.
杨冬和总工程师走过来，在经过时她对他们微笑着点点头，没说一句话，但汪淼记住了她那清澈的眼睛。
That night, Wang sat in his study and admired the few landscape photographs, his works he was the most proud of, hanging on the wall. His eyes fell on a frontier scene: a desolate valley terminating in a snowcapped mountain. On the nearer end of the valley, half of a dead tree, eroded by the vicissitudes of many years, took up one-third of the picture. In his imagination, Wang placed the figure that lingered in his mind at the far end of the valley. Surprisingly, it made the entire scene come alive, as though the world in the photograph recognized that tiny figure and responded to it, as though the whole scene existed for her.
当天晚上汪淼坐在书房里，欣赏着挂在墙上的自己最得意的几幅风景摄影，他的目光落在一幅塞外风光上——那是一个荒凉的山谷，雪山从山谷的尽头露出一抹白；山谷的这一端，半截沧桑的枯木占据了几乎三分之一的画面。汪淼在想象中把那个萦绕在他脑海中的身影叠印到画面上，让她位于山谷的深处，看去很小很小；这时汪淼惊奇地发现，整个画面苏醒过来，仿佛照片中的世界认出了那个身影，仿佛这一切本来就是为她而存在。
He then imagined her figure in each of his other photographs, sometimes pasting her two eyes into the empty sky over the landscapes. Those images also came alive, achieving a beauty that Wang had never imagined.
他又依次在想象中将那个身影叠印到另外几幅作品上，有时还将她那双眼睛作为照片上空旷苍穹的背景，那些画面也都苏醒过来，展现出一种汪淼从未想象过的美。
Wang had always thought that his photographs lacked some kind of soul. Now he understood that they were missing her.
以前，汪淼总觉得自己的摄影作品缺少某种灵魂；现在他知道了，缺的是她。
“When… did this happen?” Wang asked mechanically.
“是……什么时候？”汪淼呆呆地问。
“You mean the last name, don’t you?” Shi responded with satisfaction. “She was the last to commit suicide — two nights ago, overdosed on sleeping pills. She died very peacefully. No pain.”
“你是指最后一位吧。”坐在汪淼旁边的大史得意地说，然后压低声音，“她是最后一位自杀者，前天晚上，服过量安眠药。她死得很顺溜，没有痛苦。”
“The last two months,” Chang repeated.
“在不到两个月的时间里。”常将军重复道。
Wang was thunderstruck. Gradually, his black-and-white landscapes faded into blankness in his mind. The photographs no longer had her figure in the foreground, and her eyes were wiped from the skies. Those worlds were all dead.
晴天霹雳，汪淼的大脑一片空白。后来这空白中渐渐有了图像，那是他那些黑白风景照片，照片中的大地没有了她的身影，天空抹去了她的眼睛，那些世界死了。
“All the physicists on this list have committed suicide in the last two months,” General Chang said.
“名单上的这些物理学家，在不到两个月的时间里，先后自杀。”常伟思说。
For a moment, Wang was grateful to Shi.
刹那间，汪淼居然对大史有了那么一丝感激。
“Why?” Wang asked. The dead scenes in those landscape photographs continued to flicker through his mind.
“为什么？”汪淼问，那些照片上死去的风景画仍在他的脑海中幻灯似的循环浮现。
Wang flipped through the notes: All of them seemed to be long essays.
汪淼翻翻那些遗书的复印件，都是长篇大论。
Shi whispered, “He was Yang’s boyfriend.” Wang recalled that he had seen Ding at the particle accelerator construction site in Liangxiang. He was a theoretician who had became famous for his discovery of the macroatom while studying ball lightning. Wang took from the envelope a thin, irregularly shaped sheet exuding a faint fragrance — not paper, but birch bark. A single line of graceful characters was written on it:
大史在旁边低声说：“他是杨冬的男友。”汪淼这才想起自己在良湘的高能加速器工地中也见过丁仪，他是理论组的成员，这名物理学家因在对球状闪电（注：此处参见作者本人的《球状闪电》。）的研究中发现宏原子而闻名于世。汪淼从信封中抽出一片散发出清香的东西，形状不规则，不是纸，竟是一片白桦树皮，上面有一行娟秀的字：
General Chang replied, “The only thing we can be sure of is this: The same reason drove all of them to suicide. But it’s hard to articulate. Maybe it’s impossible for us nonspecialists to even understand the reason. The document contains excerpts from their suicide notes. Everyone can examine them after the meeting.”
常伟思回答道：“现在能肯定的只有一点：促使他们自杀的原因是相同的。但原因本身在这里很难说清，也可能对我们这些非专业人士根本就说不清。文件中附加了他们遗书的部分内容，各位会后可以仔细看看。”
“Dr. Ding, would you please show Yang Dong’s note to Professor Wang? Hers is the shortest and possibly the most representative.”
“丁仪博士，您能否把杨冬的遗书给汪教授看一下？她的最简短，也最有概括性。”
The man in question, Ding Yi, had been silent until now. After another pause, he finally took out a white envelope and handed it across the table to Wang.
那个一直低着头沉默的人半天才有所反应，掏出一个白色的信封隔着桌子递给汪淼。
There wasn’t even a signature. She was gone.
连签字都没有，她就走了。
“Physics… does not exist?” Wang had no idea what to think.
“物理学……不存在？”汪淼茫然四顾。
All the evidence points to a single conclusion: Physics has never existed, and will never exist. I know what I’m doing is irresponsible. But I have no choice.
一切的一切都导向这样一个结果：物理学从来就没有存在过，将来也不会存在。我知道自己这样做是不负责任的，但别无选择。
General Chang closed the folder. “The file also contains some specific information related to the experimental results obtained after the completion of the world’s three newest particle accelerators. It’s very technical, and we won’t be discussing it here. The first focus of our investigation is the Frontiers of Science. UNESCO designated 2005 the World Year of Physics, and that organization gradually developed out of the numerous academic conferences and exchanges that occurred among world physicists that year. Dr. Ding, since you’re a theoretical physicist, can you give us more background on it?”
常将军合上文件夹， “有一些相关的具体信息与世界上三台新的高能加速器建成后取得的实验结果有关，很专业，我们就不在这里讨论了。我们首先要调查的是‘科学边界’学会。联合国教科文组织将2005年定为世界物理年，这个组织就是在这一年国际物理学界频繁的学术会议和交流活动中逐渐诞生的，是一个松散的国际性学术组织。丁博士，您是理论物理专业的，能进一步介绍一下它的情况吗？”
Ding nodded. “I have no direct connection with the Frontiers of Science, but it is famous in academia. Its core goal is a response to the following: Since the second half of the twentieth century, physics has gradually lost the concision and simplicity of its classical theories. Modern theoretical models have become more and more complex, vague, and uncertain. Experimental verification has become more difficult as well. This is a sign that the forefront of physics research seems to be hitting a wall. “Members of the Frontiers of Science want to attempt a new way of thinking. To put it simply, they want to use the methods of science to discover the limits of science, to try to find out if there is a limit to how deeply and precisely science can know nature — a boundary beyond which science cannot go. The development of modern physics seems to suggest that such a line has been touched.”
丁仪点点头说：“我与‘科学边界’没有任何直接联系，不过这个组织在学术界很有名。它的宗旨是：自上个世纪下半叶以来，物理学古典理论中的简洁有力 渐渐消失了，理论图像变得越来越复杂、模糊和不确定， 实验验证也越来越难，这标志着物理学的前沿探索似乎遇到了很大的障碍和困难。‘科学边界’试图开辟一条新的思维途径，简单地说就是试图用科学的方法找出科学的局限性，试图确定科学对自然界的认知在深度和精度上是否存在一条底线——底线之下是科学进入不了的。现代物理学的发展，似乎隐隐约约地触到了这条底线。”
Another police officer leaned over and whispered to Shi, “Do you think we’ll forget you have a mouth if you don’t use it all the time?” Shi picked up his teacup, saw the drowned cigarette butt inside, and put it back down.
“不吱声没人拿你当哑巴！”旁边一位警官探过身去对大史低声说，后者拿起桌上的茶杯，看到里面的烟头后，“咚”的一声又放下了。
Shi’s questions irritated Wang again, not unlike the feeling a man has upon finding out that he has swallowed a fly with his meal. The gratitude he had felt earlier was gone without a trace. But he restrained himself and answered, “My contact with the Frontiers of Science began with Shen Yufei. She’s a Japanese physicist of Chinese descent who currently works for a Japanese company here in Beijing. She once worked at a Mitsubishi lab, researching nanotech. We met at a technical conference at the beginning of this year. Through her, I met a few other physicist friends, all members of the Frontiers of Science, some Chinese, some foreign. When I talked with them, all the topics were… how do I put this? Very radical. They all involved the question that Dr. Ding just described: What is the limit of science?
大史又令汪淼像吃了苍蝇一样难受，刚才那一一丝感激消失得无影无踪。但他还是克制着回答了这个问题：“我与‘科学边界’的接触是从认识申玉菲开始的，她是一名日籍华裔物理学家，现在为一家日资公司工作，就住在这个城市。她曾在三菱电机的一家实验室从事纳米材料研究，我们是在今年年初的一次技术研讨会上认识的。通过她，又认识了几位物理专业的朋友，都是‘科学边界’的成员，国内国外的都有。和他们的交往时，谈的都是一些很……怎么说呢，很终极的问题，主要就是丁博士刚才提到的科学底线的问题。
Shi added gruffly, “Including the names of your contacts, the times and locations of meetings, the content of your conversations, and if you exchanged letters or e-mails –“
大史粗声粗气地开口说：“包括联系人的姓名、见面地点和时间、谈话内容，如果交换过文字资料或电子邮件的话……”
“Very good,” General Chang said. “According to our investigation, most of the scholars who committed suicide had some connection with the Frontiers of Science, and some were even members. But we’ve found no evidence of the use of illegal psychotropic drugs or techniques akin to the psychological manipulation of religious cults. In other words, even if the Frontiers of Science influenced them, it was only through legal academic exchanges. Professor Wang, since they recently contacted you, we’d like to ask you for some information.”
“很好。”常伟思说， “据我们了解，这些自杀的学者大部分与‘科学边界’有过联系，有些还是它的成员。但没有发现诸如邪教精神控制或使用违法药物这类的犯罪行为。也就是说，即使‘科学边界’对那些学者产生过影响，也是通过合法的学术交流途径。汪教授，他们最近与您有联系，我们想了解一些情况。”
“Shut up, Da Shi!” General Chang said.
“大史！”常伟思厉声制止了他。
“Professor Wang,” General Chang said, “we’d like you to accept the invitation and join the Frontiers of Science. This is the main reason we asked you here today. Through you, we’d like to learn more about the internal workings of the organization.”
“汪教授，我们希望您接受邀请，加入 ‘科学边界’学会，这也是我们今天请您来的主要目的。”常将军说， “我们希望能通过您这个渠道，得到一些这个组织的内部信息。”
“Initially, I didn’t have much interest in these topics. I thought of them as only an idle pastime. My work is in applied research, and I don’t know much about these theoretical matters. Mainly, I was interested in listening to their discussions and arguments. All of them were deep thinkers with novel points of view, and I felt that I was opening my mind through the exchanges. Gradually, I grew more interested. But all our talk was limited to pure theory and nothing else. They once invited me to join the Frontiers of Science. But if I had done so, attending the discussions would have turned into a duty. Since my time and energy were limited, I declined.”
“我一开始对这些问题没有太大的兴趣，只是作为消遣。我是搞应用研究的，在这方面水平不高，主要是听他们讨论和争论。这些人思想都很深刻，观点新颖，自己感觉同他们交流，思想开阔了许多，渐渐变得很投入了。但讨论的话题仅限于此，都是天马行空的纯理论，没有什么特别的。他们曾邀请我加入‘科学边界’，但那样的话，参加这样的研讨会就变成了一项义务，我因为精力有限就谢绝了。”
“A mole!” Shi laughed.
“哇哈哈，卧底！”大史大笑一声。
“You want me to be a mole?” Wang was uneasy.
“您是说让我去卧底吗？”汪淼不安地问。
Chang gave Shi a reprimanding look. He turned back to Wang. “We just want you to give us some information. We have no other way in.”
常伟思责备地看了大史一眼，对汪淼说：“只是提供一些情况，我们也没有别的渠道。”
Wang shook his head. “I’m sorry, General. I cannot do this.”
汪淼摇摇头：“对不起，首长。我不能干这事。”
“I am… very busy at work. I just don’t have the time.”
“我……工作很忙，也没有时间。”汪淼推托道。
“Professor Wang, the Frontiers of Science is made up of elite international scholars. Investigating it is an extremely complex and sensitive matter. For us, it’s like walking across thin ice. Without someone from academia helping us, we cannot make any progress. This is why we’re making this request. But we’ll respect your wishes. If you won’t agree, we understand.”
“汪教授，‘科学边界’是一个由国际顶尖学者构成的组织，对它的调查是一件极其复杂和敏感的事，我们真的是如履薄冰。没有知识界的帮助，我们寸步难行，所以才提出了这个唐突的要求，希望您能理解。不过我们也尊重您的意愿，如果不同意，我们也是能够理解的。”
General Chang nodded. “All right, Professor Wang, we won’t waste any more of your time. Thank you for coming to this meeting.”
常伟思点点头，“好的，汪教授，那我们就不再耽误您的时间了，谢谢您能来参加这次会议。”
General Chang politely accompanied Wang to the door. They could hear Shi’s loud voice behind them. “It’s better this way. I disagree with the plan anyway. So many bookworms have already killed themselves. If we send him, he’d be a meat dumpling thrown to the dogs.”
常伟思礼貌地把汪淼送到会议室门口时，大史在后面大声说：“这样挺好，我压根儿就不同意这个方案。已经有这么多书呆子寻了短见，让他去不是‘肉包子打狗’吗？”
Wang waited a few more seconds before realizing that he had been dismissed.
汪淼愣了几秒钟，才明白他该离开了。
Wang turned around and walked back to Shi. Forcing his anger down, Wang said, “The way you speak is not appropriate for a good police officer.”
汪淼返身回去，走到大史身旁，努力克制着自己的愤怒， “你这么说话实在不像一名合格的警官。”
“Who said I’m a good cop?”
“我本来就不是。”
“You think I would?”
“那你是说我会？”
“We don’t know why these researchers killed themselves, but you shouldn’t speak of them so contemptuously. Their minds have made irreplaceable contributions to humanity.”
“那些学者自杀的原因还没有搞清楚。你不该用这么轻蔑的口气谈论他们，他们用自己的智慧为人类社会做出的贡献，是任何人都不可替代的。”
“I think I would be much safer than you in such situations. You must know that a person’s ability to discern the truth is directly proportional to his knowledge.”
“在那种情况下我比你要安全得多，你应该知道，一个人的鉴别能力是和他的知识成正比的。”
“You’re saying they’re better than me?” Still seated, Shi lifted his eyes to meet Wang’s. “At least I wouldn’t kill myself just because someone told me some bullshit.”
“你是说他们比我强？”大史在椅子上仰头看着汪淼，“我总不至于听人家忽悠几句就去寻短见。”
“Be quiet, Da Shi!” General Chang said. “One more sentence and you’re out of here!”
“大史，你要再多说一句，也从这里出去好了！”常伟思严厉地喝斥道。
“I have to be concerned about your safety.” That trademark smirk again.
“总得对您的安全负责吧。”大史看着汪淼，又露出他招牌式的傻笑。
“I’m not sure about that. Take someone like you –“
“那不见得，像您这样的……”
“It’s okay,” Wang said. “Let him speak.” He turned to General Chang. “I’ve changed my mind. I will join the Frontiers of Science as you wish.”
“没关系，让他说，”汪淼转向常将军， “我改变主意了，决定按您的意思加入‘科学边界’。”
“Good!” Shi nodded vigorously. “Stay alert after you join. Gather intelligence whenever it’s convenient. For example, glance at their computer screens, memorize e-mail or Web addresses –“
“很好，”大史连连点头，“进去后机灵点儿，有些事顺手就能做，比如瞄一眼他们的电脑，记个邮件地址或网址什么的……”
They kept Wang out of the way while the others left so he wouldn’t have to deal with Shi Qiang again. Then General Chang walked Wang all the way down the stairs and called for a car to take him back. He said to Wang, “Don’t worry about Shi Qiang. That’s just his personality. He’s actually a very experienced beat officer and antiterrorism expert. Twenty years ago, he was a soldier in my company.”
常伟思一直把汪淼送下了楼梯，并安排车送他，在道别时说：“史强就那种脾气，其实他是一名很有经验的刑警和反恐专家。二十多年前，他曾是我连里的一名战士。”
“Of course I’ll stay alive! But I never want to see you again.”
“我当然会一直活下去，但实在不想再见到你这号人了！”
Wang looked around in the spring sun, baffled. “But where is this war? This is probably the most peaceful period in history.”
汪淼迷惑地看看周围明媚春光中的一切， “可战争 在哪儿？现在全球一处热点都没有，应该是历史上最和平的年代了。”
“If you remain alive after you’ve joined them for a while, that would be the best proof. But I’m afraid for you…” Shi lifted his face, and the smirk turned into a wolfish grin.
“如果您过一阵儿还活着，那自然也就证明了。不过恐怕……嘿嘿。”大史仰着头，傻笑变成了狞笑。
“That’s enough! You misunderstand me. I don’t want to be a spy. I just want to prove you’re an idiot!”
“够了！你误会了，我不是去卧底，只是想证明你的无知和愚蠢！”
As they approached the car, Chang added, “Professor Wang, you must have many questions.”
走到车前，常伟思又说：“汪教授，你一定有很多问题要问。”
“What did everything you talked about in there have to do with the military?”
“刚才您说的那些，与军方有什么关系？”
“War has everything to do with the army.”
“战争与军方当然有关系。”
“No.”
“没有。”
“Then your life has been fortunate. The world is full of unpredictable factors, yet you have never faced a crisis.”
“那你的生活是一种偶然，世界有这么多变幻莫测的因素，你的人生却没什么变故。”
Chang gave him an inscrutable smile. “You will know more soon. Everyone will know. Professor Wang, have you ever had anything happen to you that changed your life completely? Some event where afterward the world became a totally different place for you?”
常伟思露出了高深莫测的笑容：“你很快就会知道一切的，所有人都会知道。汪教授，你的人生中有重大的变故吗？这变故突然完全改变了你的生活，对你来说，世界在一夜之间变得完全不同。”
Wang turned over the words in his mind, still not understanding. “I think that’s true of most lives.”
汪淼想了半天还是不明白。“大部分人都是这样嘛。”
“Then most people have lived fortunately.”
“那大部分人的人生都是偶然。”
“All fortunate.”
“都是偶然。”
“But… many generations have lived in this plain manner.”
“可……多少代人都是这么平淡地过来的。”
“Yes, the entire history of humankind has been fortunate. From the Stone Age till now, no real crisis has occurred. We’ve been very lucky. But if it’s all luck, then it has to end one day. Let me tell you: It’s ended. Prepare for the worst.”
“是的，整个人类历史也是偶然，从石器时代到今天，都没什么重大变故，真幸运。但既然是幸运，总有结束的一天；现在我告诉你，结束了，做好思想准备吧。”
Wang laughed, shaking his head. “I have to confess that I’m not feeling very sharp today. Are you suggesting that –“
汪淼摇头笑了起来，“得承认今天我的理解力太差了，您这岂不是说……”
Wang wanted to ask more, but Chang shook his head and said good-bye, preventing any more questions.
汪淼还想问下去，但将军与他握手告别，阻止了他下面的问题。
After Wang got into the car, the driver asked for his address. Wang gave it and asked, “Oh, were you the one who took me here? I thought it was the same type of car.”
上车后，司机开口问汪淼家的地址，汪淼告诉他后，随口问道：“哦，接我来的不是你？我看车是一样的。”
“No, it wasn’t me. I took Dr. Ding here.”
“不是我，我是去接丁博士的。”
Wang had a new idea. He asked the driver to take him to Ding’s address instead.
汪淼心里一动，便向司机打听丁仪的住处，司机告诉了他。当天晚上，他就去找丁仪。
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