“Jake –” It felt like there was something big sticking in my throat. I tried to clear the obstruction. “I can’t — I mean I don’t… I have to go.”
“杰克——根大刺一样，我想清理掉这个障碍，“我不“杰青——”我觉得喉咙里好像卡一根大刺一样，我想清掉这个障碍，“我不能——我的意思是我不……我得走了。”
I stared at him for a long minute, speechless. I could not think of one thing to say to him.
我默默无语地盯着他看了好久，一时不知道对他说什么好。
Jacob grinned again. “See.”
雅各布又笑了：“瞧”
“Okay,” he said, grinning. “That’s all.”
“好吧，”他笑着说道，“就这些”
“Tell me exactly why you want me around, then.”
“那么，告诉我你希望我在你身边的确切原因。”
“No, wait. I know that, Bella. But, look, answer me this, all right? Do you want me to go away and never see you again? Be honest.”
“别这样，等等，我了解这个点，贝拉。但是，瞧，回答我，好吗？你不想我离开，不想再见到我了吗？老实告诉我。”
“But I don’t want you around for the same reason that you want me around,” I objected.
“但是我想你在我身边的原因跟你想我在你身边的原因不一样。”我反驳道。
It was hard to concentrate on his question, so it took a minute to answer. “No, I don’t want that,” I finally admitted.
我心乱如麻，无法思考他的问题，过了好一会儿我回答道：“不，我不想那样。”我终于承认了。
I turned, but he grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.
我转过身准备逃离，但是一把抓住我的肩膀，让我面对他。
I thought carefully. “I miss you when you’re not there. When you’re happy,” I qualified carefully, “it makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. You’re family. I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
我仔细想了想，“你不在的时候我会想念你。当你开心的时候，”我小心翼翼地解释道，“让我感到开心，但是我可以跟查理说相同的话，雅各布。你是我的家人，我爱你，但是我没有爱上你。”
As he watched my dumbfounded expression, the seriousness left his face.
他注视着我目瞪口呆的表情，脸上严肃认真的表情消失不见了。
“Then I’ll stick around.”
“那么我就会守在你身边的。”
“No, I don’t. You decide, Bella. You can have me the way I am — bad behavior included — or not at all.”
“不，我不会。你决定，贝拉。你可以按照我的方式拥有我——也包括不良表现——否则就免谈。”
“You’re a glutton for punishment,” I grumbled.
“你是个该受到惩罚的贪心鬼。”我抱怨道。
“You’re right,” I whispered.
“你是对的。”我低声说道。
That pulled me up short, and I took an involuntary step back. He was right. If I wasn’t mean — and greedy, too — I would tell him I didn’t want to be friends and walk away. It was wrong to try to keep my friend when that would hurt him. I didn’t know what I was doing here, but I was suddenly sure that it wasn’t good.
这句话令我突然停了下来，我不情愿地后退一步。他是正确的，如果我不卑鄙的话——也不贪婪的话——我就会告诉他我不想和他做朋友了，然后走开。如果做朋友会让他受伤的话，试图继续让他留下来就是错误的，我不知道我在这儿干什么，但是我突然确定这样做非常不妥。
I stared at him, frustrated. “That’s mean.”
我生气地盯着他，感到有些挫败。“那样很卑鄙。”
He laughed. “I forgive you. Just try not to get too mad at me. Because I recently decided that I’m not giving up. There really is something irresistible about a lost cause.”
他大笑着说：“我原谅你了，只要尽力别太生我的气就行了，因为我最近下定决心不要放弃了。越是得不到就越想得到，这是一种让人无法抗拒的东西。”
“Yep.” He stroked the tips of his fingers across my right cheek. I slapped his hand away.
是的。”他用指尖轻轻碰了一下我的脸，我把他的手推开了。
“Yes.” I sighed. He was impossible to discourage.
“是的。”我感叹道，要劝阻他是不可能的。
“So are you.”
“你也一样。”
“Do you think you could behave yourself a little better, at least?” I asked, irritated.
“你认为自己至少能乖一点儿吗？”我问道，有些烦躁。
He nodded, unruffled. “But you do want me around.”
他点了点头，平静下来说道：“但是你的确希望我征怀身边。”
“Jacob.” I stared into his dark eyes, trying to make him take me seriously. “I love him, Jacob. He’s my whole life.”
“雅各布，”我盯着他那双乌黑的眼睛，想要让他认真地对待我的问题，“我爱他，雅各布，他是我生命的全部。”
“You love me, too,” he reminded me. He held up his hand when I started to protest. “Not the same way, I know. But he’s not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left. And now he’s just going to have to deal with the consequence of that choice — me.”
“你也爱我，”他提醒我道，我正准备反驳，他一把拉起我的手，“不是一样的方式，我知道，但是他也不是你生命的全部，不再是。或许他曾经是，但是他离开过，而现在他必须应付那种选择带来的后果——我。”
Suddenly, he was serious. He took my chin in his hand, holding it firmly so that I couldn’t look away from his intent gaze.
突然，他变得严肃起来。他用手顶住我的下巴，牢牢地抓住它，这样我就不能避开他专注的凝眸。
“Until your heart stops beating, Bella,” he said. “I’ll be here — fighting. Don’t forget that you have options.”
“直到你的心脏停止跳动，贝拉，”他说道，“我都会在这里——战斗。别忘了你还有选择。”
“I don’t want options,” I disagreed, trying to yank my chin free unsuccessfully. “And my heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone.”
“我不想有选择，”我不同意他所说的，试图挪开我的下巴，但是没成功，“而且我的心能跳动的时候已经屈指可数了，雅各布，时间差不多要用完了。”
I shook my head. “You’re impossible.”
我摇摇头：“你真不可理喻。”
He still had my chin — his fingers holding too tight, till it hurt — and I saw the resolve form abruptly in his eyes.
他还是盯住我的下巴——他的手指头捏得很紧，直到把我弄痛了——我看见他眼里闪现出坚定不移的决心。
His eyes narrowed. “All the more reason to fight — fight harder now, while I can,” he whispered.
他眯起眼睛：“这恰恰是促使我战斗的更重要的原因——不仅如此，在我还能够的时候，现在我还要战斗得更顽强。”他轻声说道。
“No –” I started to object, but it was too late.
“不——”我开始反对，但是太迟了。
Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn’t fight, didn’t feel… just waited for him to stop.
出于本能，我的双手垂落在身体的两侧，紧闭双唇。我睁开眼睛，没有反抗，也没有感觉……只是等待着他停下来。
It worked. The anger seemed to evaporate, and he pulled back to look at me. He pressed his lips softly to mine again, once, twice… a third time. I pretended I was a statue and waited.
这次起作用了。他的怒火似乎消失不见了，他后退一步看着我，然后又轻轻地把嘴唇压在我的上面，一次，两次……三次。我假装自己是尊雕像，等待着。
His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn’t even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way.
他的嘴唇重重地压在我的上面，使我停止了抗议。他生气而粗暴地吻着我，另一只手紧紧地抓住我的后颈项，我根本元处逃遁。我用尽全力推开他的胸脯，但是他根本就没注意到。尽管非常生气，但他的嘴唇却很柔软，和我的吻合在一起的感觉温暖而陌生。
I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.
我抓住他的脸，想把它推开，但是又失败了。不过，这一次他似乎注意到了，这激怒了他。他用嘴唇迫使我张开嘴巴，我能感觉到口腔里充满他的气息。
Finally, he let go of my face and leaned away.
终于，他放开我的脸，身体倾向一旁。
“Yes,” he sighed. He started to smile, closing his eyes.
“是的，”他叹了口气。他开始微笑，闭上了眼睛。
“Are you done now?” I asked in an expressionless voice.
“现在你做完了吗？”我面无表情地问道。
“Fine!” I growled. “Do! I can’t wait to see what Edward does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you pushy, obnoxious, moronic DOG!”
“好极啦！”我咆哮道，“好吧！我等不及要看看爱德华会怎么教训你。我希望他拧断你的脖子，你这个强人所难，可恶的低能狗！”
Jacob stared at me in shock. “Are you all right?”
雅各布惊讶地盯着我：“你没事吧？”
“No, dammit! You broke my hand!”
“不，该死！你弄断我的手了！”
“No, thanks,” I hissed. “I’d rather walk.” I turned toward the road. It was only a few miles to the border. As soon as I got away from him, Alice would see me. She’d send somebody to pick me up.
“不，谢谢，”我嘘声说道，非常不满，“我宁愿走路。”我转身朝公路走去。到边界线只有几英里，我一离开他，爱丽丝就会看见我，她会派人来接我的。
“Don’t touch me! I’m going home right now!”
“别碰我！我马上就回家！”
How pathetic.
真是卑鄙。
I pulled my arm back and then let it snap forward, punching him in the mouth with as much power as I could force out of my body. There was a crunching sound.
我抽出胳膊，然后很快向前推去，用尽身体里所有的力量狠狠地打在他的嘴巴上。接着，传来一阵嘎吱嘎吱的声音。
“Ow! Ow! ” I screamed, frantically hopping up and down in agony while I clutched my hand to my chest. It was broken, I could feel it.
“嗷！嗷！”。我尖叫起来，抓住自己的手放在胸口，疼得狂乱地上蹿下跳起来。我的手受伤了，我能感觉到。
He wasn’t even rubbing his jaw like they did in the movies.
他甚至没像电影里那些人通常所演的那样擦一擦下巴。
“Just let me drive you home,” Jacob insisted. Unbelievably, he had the nerve to wrap his arm around my waist.
“还是让我送你到家吧。”雅各布坚持说道。难以置信的是，他居然还胆敢用胳膊搂住我的腰。
I jerked away from him.
我猛地推开他。
“Bella, you broke your hand. Now stop dancing around and let me look at it.”
“贝拉，你弄断了你的手。现在停下来，别跳来跳去了，让我看一看。”
“I’ll get my car,” he said calmly.
“我去开车。”他平静地说道。
“I hate you, Jacob Black.”
“我恨你，雅各布·布莱克。”
“Ugh,” I groaned.
“啊。”我痛苦地呻吟道。
“You’re going to think about it tonight. When he thinks you’re asleep, you’ll be thinking about your options.”
“你今天晚上会想起这件事的，当他认为你睡着了的时候，你会考虑你的选择的。”
“But I’m not.”
“但是我不要。”
“Didn’t I hurt you at all?” I asked, furious and annoyed.
“难道你一点儿都不疼吗？”我问道，既愤怒又恼火。
“I’ll give you passionate,” I muttered under my breath. “Murder, the ultimate crime of passion.”
“我会使你激烈的，”我低声抱怨道，“被谋杀，那是激情的终极罪恶。”
“Oh, c’mon,” he said, all cheery and looking like he was about to start whistling again. “That had to be better than kissing a rock.”
“噢，来吧”，他说道，满脸欢喜，看起来好像又准备吹口哨了，“那总归比吻一块石头好一些。”
“Not even remotely close,” I told him coldly.
“风马牛不相及。”我冷淡地告诉他。
He pursed his lips. “You could just be saying that.”
他嘟起嘴巴：“你不能只是那样说。”
“That’s good. Hate is a passionate emotion.”
“那样很好，恨是一种激烈的感情。”
That seemed to bother him for a second, but then he perked up. “You’re just mad. I don’t have any experience with this kind of thing, but I thought it was pretty incredible myself.”
那似乎让他感到片刻的不安，但是他又振作起精神：“你只是很生气，我在这方面一点经验都没有，但是我认为我自己还是相当不可思议的。”
“Are you kidding? If you hadn’t started screaming, I might not have figured out that you were trying to punch me. I may not be made out of stone, but I’m not that soft.”
“你在开玩笑吗？要不是你开始尖叫，我可能根本没弄明白原来你是准备打我的。我可能不是石头做的，但是我也没那么柔弱。”
Jacob rolled his eyes. He walked me to the passenger side of his car and helped me in. When he got in the driver’s side, he was whistling.
雅各布骨碌碌地转了转眼睛。他陪我走到他汽车的乘客门那侧，扶我上了车。他坐进驾驶座那侧时还吹着口哨。
“If I think about you tonight, it will be because I’m having a nightmare.”
“如果我今晚想到你，肯定是因为我现在在做噩梦。”
I held up my injured hand.
我举起受伤的手。
He slowed the car to a crawl, turning to stare at me with his dark eyes wide and earnest. “Just think about how it could be, Bella,” he urged in a soft, eager voice. “You wouldn’t have to change anything for me. You know Charlie would be happy if you picked me. I could protect you just as well as your vampire can — maybe better. And I would make you happy, Bella. There’s so much I could give you that he can’t. I’ll bet he couldn’t even kiss you like that — because he would hurt you. I would never, never hurt you, Bella.”
他减慢车速，徐徐而行，侧着脸盯着我，黑色的眼睛睁得大大的，露出诚恳的神情，只是想一想，如果那样事情会怎样，贝拉，”他温柔而热切地敦促道，“你不必为我做任何改变，你知道如果你选择我的话，查理会很开心的。我也能像你的吸血鬼那样好好地保护你——或许会更好，而且我会让你幸福，贝拉，有那么多我可以而他不能给你的东西。我敢打赌他甚至没那样吻过你——因为他会伤害到你。我永远，永远都不会伤害你，贝拉。”
He sighed. “That wasn’t my fault. You should have known better.”
他感叹道：“那可不是我的错，你早该知道会这样的。”
“You’ve never tried,” he disagreed. “When he left, you spent all your energy holding on to him. You could be happy if you let go. You could be happy with me.”
“你从未试过，”他不同意地说道，“当他离开的时候，你用尽全身的力气想要抓住他，如果你放手的话，你会幸福的，你跟我在一起会幸福的。”
“Jacob, I can’t be happy without him.”
“雅各布，没有他我不会过得幸福的。”
“I don’t want to be happy with anyone but him,” I insisted.
“除了他我不想和任何人开心地在一起。”我执拗地说道。
“You’ll never be able to be as sure of him as you are of me. He left you once, he could do it again.”
“你永远都无法像信任我这样信任他。他曾经离开过你，他也有可能再这么做。”
“Take me home. My hand hurts.”
“送我回家，我的手很痛。”
“No,” I said stubbornly.
“不！”我固执地说道。
He sighed, and started driving at a normal speed, watching the road.
他叹了叹气，开始以正常的车速开车，眼睛注视着前方的路。
I wasn’t about to let him make me feel bad for him now.
我现在才不会感到亏欠他的！
“I never did,” he argued hotly. “They told me I couldn’t tell you — that it wasn’t safe for you if we were together. But I never left, never! I used to run around your house at night — like I do now. Just making sure you were okay.”
“我从来都没这么做过，”他生气地争辩道，“他们要我不要告诉你——如果我们在一起的话，对你会不安全的，但是我从未离开过，从来都没有！我以前总是晚上在你家附近转悠——就像我现在所做的一样，只是为了确定你一切都好。”
“Like I said, a nightmare.”
“诚如我所言，噩梦。”
He grinned over at me. “You kissed me back.”
他冲我露齿一笑：“你也回吻了我。”
“Just think about it, Bella.”
“只是考虑一下，贝拉。”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“你还好吗？”他问道。
“You will. Tonight. And I’ll be thinking about you while you’re thinking about me.”
“你会的，今晚，当你想我的时候我也会想着你的。”
“No, he will not,” I said through my teeth. The pain of the memory bit into me like the lash of a whip. It made me want to hurt him back. “You left me once,” I reminded him in a cold voice, thinking of the weeks he’d hidden from me, the words he’d said to me in the woods beside his home…
“不，他不会，”我从牙缝里挤出这几个字，记忆中的痛苦吞噬着我，就像鞭子抽打在我身上一样，这使我想要以牙还牙，“你也离开过我。”我生硬地提醒他，想到几个星期前他躲着我，在他家附近的森林里对我说过的话……
I gasped, unthinkingly balling my hands up into fists again, hissing when my broken hand reacted.
我大吃一惊，想都没想就举起手握紧拳头，受伤的手又疼了起来，我痛得嗷嗷直叫。
“I did not.”
“我没吻。”
“Obviously you can’t — that was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off of me, you idiot.”
“显而易见你不能——那可不是回吻，那是为了让你放开我，你这个白痴。”
He laughed a low, throaty laugh. “Touchy. Almost overly defensive, I would say.”
他声音低沉而沙哑地大笑起来：“真暴躁，我得说这差不多是欲盖弥彰了。”
“I’m really sorry about your hand,” Jacob said, sounding almost sincere. “Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?”
“对你的手，我真的感到很抱歉，”雅各布说道，听起来差不多算是很真诚了，“下一次，你想要打我的时候，用棒球棍或撬棍，好吗？”
“I think I can tell the difference.”
“我想我能说明其中的差别。”
“Ugh. I guess you can’t take me to Edward’s house, can you?” I ground my teeth in frustration.
“呃，我猜你不会把我送到爱德华家，会不会？”我挫败不已地咬牙切齿道。
I didn’t realize where we were going until we were on my road.
直到来到开往我家的路上，我才意识到我们到哪儿了。
He looked at me blankly. “I thought you said you were going home?”
他一脸茫然地看着我：“我还以为你说的是你要回家呢？”
“Don’t think I’ll forget that,” I muttered.
“要我忘记想都别想。”我低声咕哝道。
“Why are you taking me here?” I demanded.
“为什么你送我来这里？”我逼问道。
I took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with him; he would twist anything I said. I concentrated on my hand, trying to stretch out my fingers, to ascertain where the broken parts were. Sharp pains stabbed along my knuckles. I groaned.
我深深地吸了口气，跟他争论没意义；他会曲解我说的任何话。我注意着自己的手，试着伸展手指头以确定伤的是哪部分。我的关节处传来一阵钻心的刺痛，我呻吟起来。
Pain twisted across his face, and I could see that this affected him more than anything else I’d said.
他的脸痛苦地扭曲起来，我看得出来这比我所说的任何话都能触动他，影响他的情绪。
We walked silently past the front room where Charlie was lying on the sofa.
我们默默无语地走过前厅，查理甜躺在屋里的沙发上。
“Oh.” He thought about that for a minute. “I’ll take you to the hospital. Or Charlie can.”
“噢，”他思忖了一会儿，“我送你去医院，或许查理可以。”
He didn’t answer. He opened the front door and held it for me.
他没回答，打开前门撑着让我进去。
“Hey, kids,” he said, sitting forward. “Nice to see you here, Jake.”
“嘿，孩子们，”他坐直身体说道，“很高兴在这里见到你，雅各布。”
I sighed. “Go home, Jacob.”
我叹气道：“回家吧，雅各布。”
“I am going to get some ice on my hand, and then I am going to call Edward and tell him to come and get me and take me to Carlisle so that he can fix my hand. Then, if you’re still here, I am going to go hunt up a crowbar.”
“我打算用冰敷手，接着我会叫爱德华，告诉他过来接我，带我去卡莱尔那里处理我手上的伤。接着，如果你还在的话，我打算去找一根撬棒。”
I climbed out of the car awkwardly, heading for the house. The engine cut off behind me, and I was less surprised than annoyed to find Jacob beside me again.
我笨拙地爬出汽车，朝房子走去。引擎在我身后停了下来，然后我发现雅各布忽然又出现在我身旁，我的愠怒更胜于惊讶。
“I don’t want to go to the hospital. It’s embarrassing and unnecessary.”
“我不想去医院，这很难堪，也没必要。”
“What are you going to do?” he asked.
“你打算怎么办？”他问道。
“Yes, but do any doctors live here?” I asked, holding up my hand again.
“是的，但是这里住着医生吗？”我问道，又把手举了起来。
He let the Rabbit idle in front of the house, deliberating with an unsure expression. Charlie’s cruiser was in the driveway.
他让兔牌汽车在屋前空转，脸上露出不确定的表情，仔细思考着什么。查理的巡逻车停在车道上。
“This is your home, Bella,” he said quietly.
“这是你的家，贝拉。”他平静地说道。
“She thinks she broke her hand,” I heard Jacob tell him. I went to the freezer and pulled out a tray of ice cubes.
我认为她的手骨折了。”我听见雅各布告诉他。我走到冰箱前面，抽也一盒冰块。
“How did she do that?” As my father, I thought Charlie ought to sound a bit less amused and a bit more concerned.
“她是怎么弄伤的？”作为父亲，我认为查理的的声音应该多一些关心，少一些逗乐。
Jacob laughed. “She hit me.”
雅各布大笑起来：“她打我的时候。”
“Hey, Charlie,” Jacob answered casually, pausing. I stalked on to the kitchen.
“嘿，查理。”雅各布随意地回答着停了下来。我则大步走进厨房。
“Good for you, kid,” Charlie congratulated him.
“对你来说是好事，孩子，”查利祝贺他。
“What’s wrong with her?” Charlie wondered.
她怎么啦？”查理好奇的问道。
Charlie laughed, too, and I scowled while I beat the tray against the edge of the sink. The ice scattered inside the basin, and I grabbed a handful with my good hand and wrapped the cubes in the dishcloth on the counter.
查理也大笑起来，我板着脸用盘子敲打水槽的边缘。冰块散落在水槽里，我用没受伤的手抓起一把，用灶台上的餐布包起冰块。
I ground my teeth and went for the phone. I dialed Edward’s cell.
我咬牙切齿地走到电话机旁，拨通了爱德华的手机。
“Why did she hit you?”
“为什么她要打你？”
“Because I kissed her,” Jacob said, unashamed.
“因为我吻了她。”雅各布恬不知耻地说道。
“Bella?” he answered on the first ring. He sounded more than relieved — he was delighted. I could hear the Volvo’s engine in the background; he was already in the car — that was good. “You left the phone… I’m sorry, did Jacob drive you home?”
“贝拉？”只响了一声他就接听了，听起来不仅仅是放心了——他很高兴。我能听见背后沃尔沃引擎的声音；他已经坐进车里了——真好。”你把电话落下了——真抱歉，雅各布送你回家的吗？”
“I can fix that,” he offered.
“我来处理吧。”他提议道。
In the other room, Charlie spoke again. “Maybe you ought to take off, Jake,” he suggested.
在另一个房间里，查理又说话了，“或许你该离开了，杰克。”他建议道。
“He kissed me,” I growled.
“他强吻了我。”我低声吼道。
It had gone quiet in the front room, and I wondered when Jacob would bolt. I smiled a grim smile, imagining his discomfort.
前厅里顿时安静下来，我不知道雅各布是否会大发雷霆。我笑了笑，露出冷酷的表情，想象着他浑身不自在的样子。
“I’m on my way,” he said at once. “What’s wrong?”
“我已经在路上了”他立刻说道，“怎么啦？”
“Your funeral,” Charlie muttered.
“那会是你的葬礼的，”查理低声说道。
I laughed once, because he sounded as pleased as Charlie had.
我大笑了一下，因为他听起来和查理一样高兴。
“I wish I’d hurt him. ” I sighed in frustration. “I didn’t do any damage at all.”
“我真希望让他受伤了，”我沮丧地叹气道，“可我对他根本没造成什么伤害。”
“I punched Jacob,” I admitted.
“我揍了雅各布。”我承认道。
“Good,” Edward said bleakly. “Though I’m sorry you’re hurt.”
“好极了”，爱德华冷冷地说道，“尽管我很抱歉你受伤了。”
“Yes,” I grumbled. “Will you come and get me, please?”
“是的”，我嘟嚷着说，“你现在过来接我，好吗？”
There was a slight pause. “That doesn’t sound like you,” he said, wary now. “What did he do?”
稍微停顿了一会儿，“这听起来不像你，”他说道，现在声音里多了一丝警觉，“他做了什么？”
“I was hoping you would say that.”
“我一直希望你会这么说。”
“I think I’ll hang out here, if you don’t mind.”
“我想我会在这儿玩一会儿，如果你不介意的话。”
“What happened?” Edward demanded, his voice going flat.
“发生了什么事？”爱德华追问道，他的声首变得咄咄逼人。
“I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it’s broken.”
“我想让卡莱尔看一看我的手，我想它骨折了。”
All I heard on the other end of the line was the sound of an engine accelerating.
我听见电话那头传来引擎加速的声音。
“As much as I have.” I sighed. “Not enough, apparently.”
“用尽我所有的力气，”我感叹道，“很显然，还不够。”
He kissed my hand softly. “I’ll take care of it,” he promised. And then he called, “Jacob,” his voice still quiet and even.
他轻轻地吻着我的手，“让我来，”他允诺道，接着他叫道，“雅各布。”他的声音仍然很平静，也很平和。
As I hung up the phone, smiling, I heard the sound of his car racing down the street. The brakes protested loudly as he slammed to a stop out front. I went to get the door.
我面带笑容地挂上电话，接着听见他的车在街上加速飞驰的声音。他猛地在屋前停下来，刹车时发出哧哧的抗议声振聋发聩。
He examined my hand gently, so carefully that it caused me no pain at all. His hands were almost as cold as the ice, and they felt good against my skin.
他温柔地检查我的手，非常小心翼翼，一点儿也没弄痛我。他的手几乎和冰块一样冷，贴着我的皮肤很舒服。
I lifted the ice pack to show it off. “It’s swelling.”
我提起冰袋给他看：“肿了。”
“Maybe you should pick on people your own size,” Charlie suggested.
“或许你应该选择跟你体型差不多大小的人。”查理建议道。
“Yes.”
“是的。”
“Maybe,” I agreed. I walked on to open the door. Edward was waiting.
“或许。”我同意，然后走过去开门，爱德华已经等在那儿了。
“How’s your hand?” Charlie asked as I walked by. Charlie looked uncomfortable. Jacob lolled next to him on the sofa, perfectly at ease.
“你的手怎么样？”我经过时查理问道，他看起看起来有些惴惴不安。雅各布懒洋洋地靠在沙发上，坐在他旁边，一副怡然自得的模样。
“Is the dog still there?” Edward finally spoke again.
“那只狗还在那里吗？”爱德华终于又开口说道。
“Let me see,” he murmured.
“让我看看。”他低声说道。
“I think you’re right about the break,” he said. “I’m proud of you. You must have put some force behind this.”
“我认为你是对的，手是骨折了，”他说道，“我为你感到自豪，你肯定用了不少力气。”
“I’m around the corner,” he said darkly, and the line disconnected.
“我马上就到。”他威胁着说完就挂断电话了。
Charlie looked at me evenly. “Enough, Bella.”
查理心平气和地看着我：“够了，贝拉。”
“Let’s go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell,” Edward said. He put his arm around me and pulled me toward the door.
“我们去找卡莱尔，在你锒铛入狱之前让他看一看你的手。”爱德华说道，他揽着我的肩膀拉着我走向门口。
“Fine,” I said, leaning against him. I wasn’t so angry anymore, now that Edward was with me. I felt comforted, and my hand didn’t bother me as much.
“好的。”我斜倚在他身上说道。既然现在我和爱德华在一起，我就不再那么生气了，我感到很欣慰，我的手也没那么难受了。
“That won’t be necessary,” Edward said in a restrained tone.
“没必要。”爱德华克制地说道。
“Dad, don’t you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute.”
“爸爸，你房间里有没有棒球棍？我想借用一下。”
“Now, now,” Charlie cautioned.
“当心，当心。”查理提醒道。
“Why don’t you arrest me, Dad?” I suggested. “I’m the one throwing punches.”
“为什么你不逮捕我，爸爸？”我暗示道，“我才是那个挥拳头的人。”
I heard Charlie heave himself off of the sofa. Jacob got to the hall first, and much more quietly, but Charlie was not far behind him. Jacob’s expression was alert and eager.
我看见查理吃力地从沙发上站了起来，雅各布先走到客厅，他的动作则要安静得多，但是查理跟在他后面，离他只有一步之遥。雅各布的表情警觉而迫切。
Edward grimaced.
爱德华扮了个鬼脸。
Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to press charges, Jake?”
查理挑起眉毛说道：“你想要登记指控吗，杰克？”
“I don’t want any fighting, do you understand?” Charlie looked only at Edward when he spoke. “I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official.”
“我不希望发生斗殴，你明白吗？”查理说话的时候只是看着爱德华，“我可以戴上我的警徽，如果那样让我的要求显得更加正式的话。”
“No.” Jacob grinned, incorrigible. “I’ll take the trade any day.”
“不。”雅各布露齿一笑，简直有些无可救药。“我随时都可以光顾的。”
I looked back and Jacob was following us, stopping to close the door in Charlie’s surprised and uneasy face.
我回头一看，雅各布跟着我们，停下来当着查理的面把门关上，只留下他一脸惊讶不安的表情。
“Give me a minute, Charlie,” Jacob answered. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.”
“就一会儿，查理，”雅各布回答道，“别担心，我马上回来。”
We were walking down the sidewalk when I heard Charlie whispering anxiously behind me. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”
我们朝人行道走过去，这时我听见查理忧心忡忡地在我身后轻声说道：“你在做什么？你疯了吗？”
I leaned anxiously through the open window. Charlie was visible in the house, peeking through the drapes in the front room.
我焦急地从敞开的窗户上探出身子。还看得见查理在屋子里，透过前厅的窗帘偷偷地看着我们。
Edward ignored him at first, leading me to the car. He helped me inside, shut the door, and then turned to face Jacob on the sidewalk.
爱德华起初没理会他，领着我朝他的车走过去。他搀扶着我上了车，关上门，转过身面对人行道上的雅各布。
“Hmph,” I grumbled.
“嗯哼。”我不以为然地说道。
Jacob’s stance was casual, his arms folded across his chest, but the muscles in his jaw were tight.
雅各布的站姿很随意，双臂交叉放在胸口，但是他下巴上的肌肉绷得很紧。
Edward spoke in a voice so peaceful and gentle that it made the words strangely more threatening. “I’m not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella.”
爱德华说话的时候声音那么平静，那么温柔，奇怪的是，这使他所说的话更加充满威胁：“我现在不打算杀死你，因为这会令贝拉难过。”
Edward turned slightly to throw me a quick smile. His face was still calm. “It would bother you in the morning,” he said, brushing his fingers across my cheek.
爱德华的脸稍稍转向我，飞快地冲我一笑，他的脸依然很平静，“早上会让你难受的。”他说道，手指轻轻抚摸了一下我的脸。
Then he turned back to Jacob. “But if you ever bring her back damaged again — and I don’t care whose fault it is; I don’t care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head — if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?”
接着他又转向雅各布：“要是你送她回来的时候，还让她带着伤的话——我才不在乎到底是谁的错；不在乎她是不是摔跤了，还是流星飞过天空砸在她头上——要是你把她送回到我这里的时候，比我把她送到你那里去的时候又多了一丝一毫的损伤的话，你就会三只腿跑路。明白吗，杂种？”
“You wish,” I grumbled.
“你想都别想。”我嘟嚷着说。
Edward continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her,” he promised, his voice still gentle and velvet and deadly.
爱德华似乎没听见我说话，他继续说道，“如果你再吻她的话，我会为她打断你的下巴。”他信誓旦旦地说道，不过他说话的声音还是那么温柔，像天鹅绒一样，但是也很致命。
Jacob grinned.
雅各布露齿一笑。
“One more thing,” Edward said slowly. “I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I’m not taking anything for granted, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.”
“还有一件事，”爱德华慢条斯理地说道，“我也会为她而战，你应该知道这一点。我决不会对任何事情想当然，我会付出双倍的努力为她而战的。”
“What if she wants me to?” Jacob drawled, arrogant.
“要是她想我吻她呢？”雅各布拉长调儿傲慢地说道。
“Well, if you’re done rummaging through my head,” Jacob said with a thick edge of annoyance, “why don’t you go take care of her hand?”
“好吧，如果你已经搜寻过我脑子里在想什么，”雅各布急躁地说道，“为什么你不处理一下她的手？”
“If that’s what she wants, then I won’t object.” Edward shrugged, untroubled. “You might want to wait for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language — but it’s your face.”
“如果那是她想要的，那么我也不会反对，”爱德华耸耸肩，一点儿也不担心，“你可能想等着她这样说，而不会相信自己对肢体语言的理解——不过，小心你的脸。”
Jacob rolled his eyes.
雅各布转了转眼睛。
“Who’s going back?” I muttered.
“谁要回来了？”我低声问道。
“Good,” Jacob growled. “It’s no fun beating someone who forfeits.”
“好极了，”雅各布吼道，“打败受罚而丧失机会的人可没什么乐趣。”
“Yes, he does,” Edward murmured.
“是的。就是。”爱德华低声说道。
“Hah!” I snorted.
“呵！”我嗤之以鼻。
“She is mine.” Edward’s low voice was suddenly dark, not as composed as before. “I didn’t say I would fight fair.”
“她是我的，”爱德华低沉的声音突然变得阴森起来，没有之前那么镇定自若了，“我也没说过我会公平竞争。”
“Neither did I.”
“我也不会。”
“Irritated.”
“很烦。”
Childishly, I turned my face away from him.
我孩子气地把脸别开，不去看他。
Emmett watched curiously as Edward helped me carefully out of the car. His eyes zeroed in on the hand I cradled against my chest.
爱德华小心翼翼地扶我下车的时候，埃美特好奇地看着我们，他的眼睛瞄准我护在胸口上的手。
Edward drove around the house to the garage. Emmett and Rosalie were there, Rosalie’s perfect legs, recognizable even sheathed in jeans, were sticking out from under the bottom of Emmett’s huge Jeep. Emmett was sitting beside her, one hand reached under the Jeep toward her. It took me a moment to realize that he was acting as the jack.
爱德华绕过房子开进车库。埃美特和罗莎莉都在那里，罗莎莉完美的腿——即使套在牛仔裤里也很显眼——正好从埃美特巨大的吉普车底部伸出来。埃美特坐在她旁边，一只手在吉普车下面伸向她，我过了好一会儿才意识到他是在开玩笑。
“How do you feel?” Edward asked as we drove away.
“你感觉怎么样？”我们开车走的时候爱德华问我。
“I hope your hand feels better soon. I’m really sorry you’re hurt.”
“我希望你的手很快就好，我真的很抱歉你受伤了。”
Jacob nodded. “Yes, may the best man win.”
雅各布点点头：“是的，但愿最好的人胜出。”
“That sounds about right… pup.”
“这听起来很合适……小狗。”
I didn’t look up again as Edward walked around the car and climbed into the driver’s side, so I didn’t know if Jacob went back into the house or continued to stand there, watching me.
爱德华绕过车头钻进驾驶座的时候我也没抬头看一看，所以我不知道雅各布是回到屋里去了，还是继续站在那里看着我。
Jacob grimaced briefly, then he composed his face and leaned around Edward to smile at me. I glowered back.
雅各布扮了一下鬼脸，接着让自己的脸色镇静下来，斜着身子探过爱德华对我微微一笑，我则对他怒目而视。
He chuckled. “I meant your hand.”
他轻声笑道：“我的意思是你的手。”
I shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”
我耸耸肩：“我经历过比这更糟糕的。”
“True,” he agreed, and frowned.
“确实。”他认同道，然后皱着眉头。
“Best of luck.”
“祈求好运吧。”
“Emmett will tell me.” I tried to turn, but his arm was like iron around me.
“埃美特会告诉我的。”我想转身，但是他的胳膊像铁钳一样紧紧地箍着我。
He sighed. “They’re betting on how many times you… slip up in the first year.”
他叹气道：“他们在打赌你……第一年会摔倒多少次。”
“It’s infantile,” he shrugged. “Emmett and Jasper like to gamble.”
“是婴儿期，”他耸耸肩，“埃美特和贾斯帕喜欢打赌。”
I glared at him fiercely. “No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.”
我恶狠狠地盯着他：“不是，埃美特，我打了狼人的脸。”
“Oh.” I grimaced, trying to hide my sudden horror as I realized what he meant. “They have a bet about how many people I’ll kill?”
“噢，”我一脸苦相，当我会意过来时想要掩饰这突如其来的恐惧，“他们在打赌我会杀死多少人吗？”
“What bet?” I insisted as I turned on him.
“打什么赌？” 当我转向他时，我坚持说。
“Thanks, Rosalie,” he muttered as he tightened his arm around my waist and pulled me toward the house.
“谢谢，罗莎莉，”他喃喃地说并紧搂着我的腰，把我拉到了房子。
Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter.
埃美特眨了眨眼睛，然后大笑起来。
“What bet?” I demanded, pausing.
“打什么赌？”我停下来追问道。
Emmett’s laughter stopped at once, and he studied me with appraising eyes.
埃美特的笑声立刻停了下来，双眼上下来回地打量着我。
“Let’s get you to Carlisle,” Edward urged. He was staring at Emmett. His head shook infinitesimally.
“我们带你去卡莱尔那里吧。”爱德华催促道。他盯着埃美特，略微摇了摇头，动作幅度小得几乎看不出来。
As Edward led me past them, Rosalie spoke from under the car. “Jasper’s going to win the bet,” she said smugly.
爱德华领着我从他们身边经过时，罗莎莉在车下说道，“贾斯帕要赌赢了。”她自呜得意地说道。
“Edward…” I grumbled.
“爱德华……”我嘟囔道。
Emmett grinned. “Fall down again, Bella?”
埃美特露齿一笑：“又摔跤了，贝拉？”
“It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He’s tired of being the weakest link.”
“如果你适应有困难，贾斯帕会很高兴的，他厌倦了自己是最薄弱的那一环。”
“Yes,” he admitted unwillingly. “Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper’s favor.”
“是的，”他不情愿地承认道，“罗莎莉认为你的脾气会使贾斯帕的胜算更大一些。”
“Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?” I was babbling, my voice a blank monotone. In my head, I was seeing newspaper headlines, lists of names…
“当然，肯定会是这样。我猜我会额外多杀几个人，如果那样会令贾斯帕开心的话。为什么不呢？”我胡言乱语着，声音空洞而单调。在我脑海中，我看见报纸头条标题，一连串的名单……
I felt a little high. “Jasper’s betting high.”
我感到有些兴奋：“贾斯帕赌注很高。”
I groaned, and Edward, thinking it was the pain in my hand that bothered me, pulled me faster toward the house.
我不满地哼哼唧唧着，爱德华还以为是我手痛得难受起来了，他牵着我的手朝屋子那边走得更快了。
He squeezed me. “You don’t need to worry about it now. In fact, you don’t have to worry about it ever, if you don’t want to.”
他掐了我一下：“你现在没必要担心，实际上，你永远都不必担心，如果你不想的话。”
My hand was broken, but there wasn’t any serious damage, just a tiny fissure in one knuckle. I didn’t want a cast, and Carlisle said I’d be fine in a brace if I promised to keep it on. I promised.
我的手是骨折了，但是没什么大碍，只是关节上有裂缝。我不想戴石膏，卡莱尔说如果我答应一直戴着，只要矫形套就可以了。
Edward could tell I was out of it as Carlisle worked to fit a brace carefully to my hand. He worried aloud a few times that I was in pain, but I assured him that that wasn’t it.
卡莱尔小心翼翼地把矫形套套在我手上的时候，爱德华看得出我痛得快不行了。他好几次因为我很痛苦都担心地叫起来，不过我宽慰他那没什么。
I’d always known that I would be different. I hoped that I would be as strong as Edward said I would be. Strong and fast and, most of all, beautiful. Someone who could stand next to Edward and feel like she belonged there.
一直以来，我都知道我会不一样的。我希望我会像爱德华所说的那样，变得那么强大有力，迅速敏捷；最重要的是，美丽绝伦。变成某个能够站在爱德华的身边，感觉她命中注定就属于他的那个人。
All of Jasper’s stories about newly created vampires had been percolating in my head since he’d explained his past. Now those stories jumped into sharp focus with the news of his and Emmett’s wager. I wondered randomly what they were betting. What was a motivating prize when you had everything?
自从贾斯帕解释了他的过去之后，他所讲的新生儿故事就一直在我的脑海里翻来覆去。现在，获悉他和埃美特就此打赌，那些故事又突然变得历历在目了。我毫无目标地猜测着他们在赌什么，当你已经拥有一切时最激励人心的会是什么样的奖励呢？
As if I needed — or even had room for — one more thing to worry about.
仿佛我需要——或者有空间——担心另外一件事一样。
I’d been trying not to think too much about the other things that I would be. Wild. Bloodthirsty. Maybe I would not be able to stop myself from killing people. Strangers, people who had never harmed me. People like the growing number of victims in Seattle, who’d had families and friends and futures. People who’d had lives. And I could be the monster who took that away from them.
我一直尝试不去想我可能会成为的另一种生物，狂野，嗜血，或许我无法让自己停止杀戮。陌生人，那些从未伤害过我的人，那些和在西雅图不断攀升的遇害者一样的人，他们曾经拥有家人、朋友和前途。人们曾经有生命，有生活，而我会成为夺走这些东西的那个魔鬼。
But, in truth, I could handle that part — because I trusted Edward, trusted him absolutely, to keep me from doing anything I would regret. I knew he’d take me to Antarctica and hunt penguins if I asked him to. And I would do whatever it took to be a good person. A good vampire. That thought would have made me giggle, if not for this new worry.
但是，实际上，我能做到这点——因为我信任爱德华，绝对信任他，他会阻止我做令自己后悔的事情。我知道他会带我到南极捕杀企鹅，只要我要求，而且我愿意做一切能让我成为好人的事情。一个好吸血鬼，如果没有平添这层担忧的话，这个想法本桌可能会令我咯咯直笑的。
I stared at his face while he watched Carlisle fix my hand. There was nothing in this world that I wanted more than him. Would that, could that, change?
卡莱尔替我的手包扎伤口时我凝视着爱德华的脸。这个世界上除了他之外，没有其他东西是我想得到的了。那将，那会改变吗？
Edward was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I was human. Usually, it seemed kind of silly. There weren’t many human experiences that I worried about missing. As long as I got to be with Edward, what else could I ask for?
爱德华如此沉迷于让我不要错过做人类时的任何事情，在通常情况下，这似乎有些傻。在我的人生中，并没有许多让我担心会错过的经历，只要我能和爱德华在一起，我还奢求什么呢？
Was there a human experience that I was not willing to give up?
会有我不愿意放弃的人类经历吗？
Because, if I really were somehow like that — like the nightmarish images of newborns that Jasper had painted in my head — could I possibly be me? And if all I wanted was to kill people, what would happen to the things I wanted now?
因为，不管怎样如果真的像那样的话——像贾斯帕在我脑海描绘出的新生儿梦魇似的情景的话——我还可能是我吗？如果我想要做的事情只是杀人，现在我想要的事情匕会产生什么样的变化呢？
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