“I have nothing to wear!” I moaned to myself.
“我没什么可穿的啦！”我独自呜咽道。
Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare.
我拥有的每一件衣服都摊在床上了，我的抽屉和衣橱都空了。
I stared into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear.
我盯着空荡荡的壁橱，希望出现合适的衣服。
I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed.
我对着床上的一堆衣服大叫起来。
My khaki skirt lay over the back of the rocking chair, waiting for me to discover something that went with it just exactly right. Something that would make me look beautiful and grown up. Something that said special occasion. I was coming up empty.
我的咔叽布裙挂在摇椅的椅背上，等待我发现能与之正好搭配的物件，那种让我看起来既美丽又成熟的物件，那种称得上特殊场合才穿的衣物，我什么也没找到。
It was almost time to go, and I was still wearing my favorite old sweats. Unless I could find something better here — and the odds weren’t looking good at this point — I was going to graduate in them.
差不多要出发了，我还是穿着我最喜欢的旧运动衫。除非我在这JL“找到更合适的东西——目前来看这种可能性不大——我就打算穿着它们毕业了。
The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available — my kidnapped red blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand.
峰回路转的是我确切知道我肯定会穿那件衣服的，如果它还在的话——那件被绑架的红色衬衣，我用没受伤的那只手狠狠地揍了一下墙。
“Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!” I growled.
“愚蠢，爱偷东西，讨厌的吸血鬼！”我吼道。
She was leaning casually beside the open window as if she’d been there the whole time.
她轻松自得地靠在敞开的窗户旁边，好像她一直都在一样。
“What did I do?” Alice demanded.
“我做过什么？”爱丽丝追问道。
“Knock, knock,” she added with a grin.
“敲门，敲门。”她笑着补充道。
“Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?”
“等我去开门就真的这么难吗？”
She threw a flat, white box onto my bed. “I’m just passing through. I thought you might need something to wear.”
她往我床上扔来一个扁平的白色盒子：“我只是正好经过，我想你可能需要合适的衣服穿。”
I looked at the big package lying on top of my unsatisfying wardrobe and grimaced.
我看着躺在那些令人不满的衣服上的大包装盒，苦笑了一下。
“I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.”
“我无法想象那样的感觉，肯定非常不好，很正常？哈？”
“Admit it,” Alice said. “I’m a lifesaver.”
“承认吧，”爱丽丝说道，“我是救命恩人。”
“Well, it’s nice to get something right for a change. You don’t know how irritating it is — missing things the way I have been. I feel so useless. So… normal.” She cringed in horror of the word.
“噢，能找到合适的衣服换真是好极了。你不知道这有多么烦人——我总是丢三落四的。我感到自己那么没用，那么……平凡。”听见这个词她恐惧地畏缩了。
“You’re a lifesaver,” I muttered. “Thanks.”
“你是救命恩人，”我低声说道，“谢谢。”
She laughed. “Well, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief — now I just have to figure out what I’m not seeing in Seattle.”
她大笑着说：“好吧，至少这样可以弥补你那个讨厌的小偷所做的事情——现在我得弄清楚我在西雅图看不见的东西了。”
When she said the words that way — putting the two situations together in one sentence — right then it clicked. The elusive something that had been bothering me for days, the important connection that I couldn’t quite put together, suddenly became clear. I stared at her, my face frozen with whatever expression was already in place.
当她这样说这些话的时候——用一句话将两种情形放在一起——就在那时一切就吻合起来了。那件许多天来令我迷惑不解、心烦意乱的事情，那个我无法拼凑在一起的联系，突然变得清晰可见了。我盯着她，脸定格在那个表情上，不管那是什么样的表情。
I wasn’t listening.
我没有听见。
“It’s the same,” I whispered.
“这是一样的。”我轻声说道。
“What is?” she demanded. “You don’t have anything like this. For crying out loud, you only own one skirt!”
“是什么？”她追问道，“你没有这样的衣服。我的老天爷，你只有一条裙子！”
“No, Alice! Forget the clothes, listen!”
“不，爱丽丝！忘掉衣服，昕我说！”
“Listen, Alice, don’t you see? It’s the same! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. They’re together!”
“听着，爱丽丝，难道你没发现？这是一样的！那个闯进来偷走我东西的家伙和西雅图的新生儿，他们是一伙的！”
The clothes slipped from her fingers and fell back into the box.
衣服从她的指缝中滑落下来掉回到盒子里。
“You don’t like it?” Alice’s face clouded with disappointment.
“你不喜欢？”爱丽丝的脸上布满失望的愁云。
Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. “Why do you think that?”
爱丽丝现在集中注意力了，她的音调突然提高了：“你为什么那么认为？”
“Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked. She sighed when I didn’t move immediately, and tugged the top of the box off herself. She pulled something out and held it up, but I couldn’t concentrate on what it was. “Pretty, don’t you think? I picked blue, because I know it’s Edward’s favorite on you.”
“你不打算打开它吗？”她问道。看见我没有马上行动她叹了叹气，自己用力拉开了盒盖，然后拉出什么，把它攀起来，但是我无法注意到那是什么，很漂亮，难道你不这样认为吗？我挑了蓝色的，因为我知道那是爱德华最喜欢你穿的颜色。”
“Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect — how careful my thief was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds that two different people not only know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. It’s one person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent.”
“还记得爱德华说的吗？有人利用你预见力的漏洞使你看不见新生儿？而且你以前也曾说过，这个时间安排实在太完美了——小偷非常小心，没有留下任何线索，就好像他知道你会看见一样。我想你是对的，爱丽丝，我想他的确知道，我想他也是在利用那些漏洞。会不会是两个不同的人，他们不仅对你足够了解，而且还决定在完全相同的时间里下手，你认为可能吗？绝对不可能。是一个人，是同一个人，那个正在制造军队的人也就是那个偷走我气味的人。”
Alice wasn’t accustomed to being taking by surprise. She froze, and was still for so long that I started counting in my head as I waited. She didn’t move for two minutes straight. Then her eyes refocused on me.
爱丽丝不习惯出其不意。她僵直地站在那里，一动不动地站了好久，以至于我等待的时候不由自主地开始在脑子里数数了。整整有两分钟她动都没动一下，接着她的眼睛重新看着我。
“You’re right,” she said in a hollow tone. “Of course you’re right. And when you put it that way…”
“你是对的，”她语气低沉地说道，“当然，你是对的，而且当你这样说的时候……”
I was through expecting my emotions to make sense anymore. As I processed the fact that someone had created an army of vampires — the army that had gruesomely murdered dozens of people in Seattle — for the express purpose of destroying me, I felt a spasm of relief.
我已经不指望我的情绪再有理性可言了。想到有人创造了一支吸血鬼军队——这支军队在西雅图令人发指地谋杀了几十个人——就是为了明确表示他们的目标是摧毁我，此时我感到一阵如释重负。
Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too.
她惊讶得瞪大了眼睛，我是正确的，我看得出她也这么认为。
“Edward had it wrong,” I whispered. “It was a test… to see if it would work. If he could get in and out safely as long as he didn’t do anything you would be watching out for. Like trying to kill me… And he didn’t take my things to prove he’d found me. He stole my scent… so that others could find me.”
“爱德华理解错了，”我轻声说，“这是试探……看看会不会奏效。如果他能安全地进退自如，只要不做任何你会密切注意的事情，比如试图杀死我……他偷走我的东西不是为了证明他找到我了，他偷走我的气味……这样其他人就会找到我。”
Part of it was finally solving that irritating feeling that I was missing something vital.
部分原因在于：丢失了重要的东西使我感到心烦意乱，这个问题终于得到解决了。
“Oh, no,” she mouthed.
“哦，不。”她费力地挤出这几个字来。
“Thanks, Alice. But at least we know what they’re really after. That has to help.”
“谢谢，爱丽丝，不过至少我们知道他们到底想要干什么了，这会有所帮助的。”
“Almost. Give me a minute,” I said hoarsely.
“就快好了，再等我一会儿。”我沙哑地说道。
Thud, thud — a fist hammered against my door.
砰，砰——一只拳头敲打在我的房门上。
“Edward is coming. If he hears this…”
“爱德华要来了，如果他听见这……”
“Why?”
“为什么？”
“I have to go,” Alice whispered.
“我得走了。”爱丽丝轻声说。
“Aren’t you ready yet? We’re gonna be late!” Charlie complained, sounding edgy. Charlie hated occasions about as much as I did. In his case, a lot of the problem was having to dress up.
“难道你还没准备好吗？我们要迟到了！”查理抱怨道，听起来很恼火。查理差不多和我一样讨厌特殊场合，他的问题在于穿衣打扮是非常麻烦的事情。
“Well,” I whispered, “everyone can relax. Nobody’s trying to exterminate the Cullens after all.”
“好啦，”我低声说，“大家可以放松了，毕竟没有人打算摧毁卡伦家族了。”
“No. I’m nervous. Go away.”
“没有，我很紧张，请您离开一会儿。”
“Go, go!” I urged immediately. Edward would go berserk when he knew. I couldn’t keep it from him for long, but maybe the graduation ceremony wasn’t the best time for his reaction.
“去吧，去吧！”我立即催促她。爱德华知道后会变得狂暴不安的。我不能总瞒着他，不过，或许毕业典礼并不是他做出这样的反应的最佳时机。
I heard him clump down the stairs.
我听见他下楼时沉重的脚步声。
“If you think that one thing has changed, you’re absolutely wrong,” Alice said through her teeth. “If someone wants one of us, they’re going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her.”
“如果你认为一件事发生了改变，你就大错特错了，”爱丽丝从牙缝里挤出来，“如果有人想要除掉我们当中的一个，他们必须除掉我们大家才能达到除掉她的目的。”
He was quiet for half a second. “Are you crying?”
他安静了一会儿：“你在哭吗？”
But the larger part was something else entirely.
但是更重要的在于截然不同的事情。
I jumped. Alice didn’t seem to notice.
我吓了一跳，爱丽丝似乎没注意。
“Maybe,” she muttered. She started pacing back and forth across my room.
“或许。”她咕哝道，然后开始在我房间里来回踱步。
I did what she said, dressing in a daze.
我照做了，晕头转向地穿好衣服。
I’d been planning to do something more sophisticated with my hair, but time was up, so it hung straight and boring as on any other day. It didn’t matter. I didn’t bother to look in the mirror, so I had no idea how Alice’s sweater and skirt ensemble worked. That didn’t matter, either. I threw the ugly yellow polyester graduation robe over my arm and hurried down the stairs.
我本来打算在我的头发上做些更复杂的花样的，但是时间来不及了，所以，它就和平时一样笔直地垂下来，看起来无精打采的。没关系，我没工夫照镜子，所以我不知道爱丽丝的衬衫和裙子套装是否合身，那也不重要。我把丑陋的黄色涤纶毕业长袍搭在胳膊上，急匆匆地跑下楼。
“Put it on,” Alice commanded as she flitted out the window.
“穿上。”爱丽丝从窗口一跃而下时命令道。
“Yeah,” I mumbled, trying to concentrate. “Alice gave it to me. Thanks.”
“是的，”我咕哝道，努力想要集中注意力，“爱丽丝送给我的，谢谢。”
Edward arrived just a few minutes after his sister left. It wasn’t enough time for me to pull together a calm facade. But, since we were riding in the cruiser with Charlie, he never had a chance to ask me what was wrong.
爱德华在他妹妹走后几分钟之后就到了，我没有足够的时间戴上一副平静的面具。但是，既然我们和查理一起坐他的巡逻车去，他就不会有机会问我怎么了。
Charlie had gotten stubborn last week when he’d learned that I was intending to ride with Edward to the graduation ceremony. And I could see his point — parents should have some rights come graduation day. I’d conceded with good grace, and Edward had cheerfully suggested that we all go together. Since Carlisle and Esme had no problem with this, Charlie couldn’t come up with a compelling objection; he’d agreed with poor grace. And now Edward rode in the backseat of my father’s police car, behind the fiberglass divider, with an amused expression — probably due to my father’s amused expression, and the grin that widened every time Charlie stole a glance at Edward in his rearview mirror. Which almost certainly meant that Charlie was imagining things that would get him in trouble with me if he said them out loud.
查理上个星期得知我打算搭乘爱德华的车去参加毕业典礼的时候，表现得很顽固不化。我明白他的意思——父母应该有权参加毕业日。我友好地让步了，爱德华高兴地建议我们一起去。由于卡莱尔和埃斯梅对此毫无疑义，查理就想不出什么更体面的借口反对了，他非常不友好地同意了。现在爱德华坐在我爸爸警车的后排座位上，隔着纤维玻璃脸上露出一副开心的表情——很可能是因为我爸爸的表情很好玩吧，查理从观后镜里偷偷瞟着爱德华的时候，脸上露出更加得意的笑容。这差不多肯定地表示查理正在想一些让他和我为难的事情，如果他说出口的话。
“You look nice,” Charlie said, already gruff with suppressed emotion. “Is that new?”
“你看起来很漂亮，”查理说道，他克制着情绪，脸上露出生硬的表情，“是新的吗？”
“Not really,” I admitted.
“并没有。”我承认。
“Bella, this is a big deal. You’re graduating from high school. It’s the real world for you now. College. Living on your own… You’re not my little girl anymore.” Charlie choked up a bit at the end.
“贝拉，这可是件大事，你要从高中毕业了，现在你就要步入社会了。上大学，独自生活……你不再是我的小姑娘了。”查理最后有些哽咽地说道。
“Sure. A party’s exactly what I need.”
“当然，派对恰恰是我需要的。”
“Dad,” I moaned. “Please don’t get all weepy on me.”
“爸爸，”我哀叹道，“求您别在我面前眼泪汪汪的啦。”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but Charlie, in an obvious maneuver that he meant to be subtle, shrugged in between us and put his arm around my shoulders.
看起来他还有话要说，但是查理明摆着故意使坏，抬高肩膀插在我俩之间，然后揽住我的肩膀。
“Are you all right?” Edward whispered when he helped me from the front seat in the school parking lot.
我们的车在学校停车场上停了下来，“你还好吗？”爱德华扶着我从前排座位上下来的时候轻声问道。
“I don’t know, Dad. I guess it hasn’t hit yet or something.”
“我不知道，爸爸。我猜还没到时候，诸如此类的原因吧。”
“Nervous,” I answered, and it wasn’t even a lie.
“很紧张。”我回答道，这甚至不是在撒谎。
“Who’s weepy?” he growled. “Now, why aren’t you excited?”
“谁眼泪汪汪的啦？”他吼道，“那么，为什么你不兴奋呢？”
“Are you excited?” he asked me.
“你很兴奋吗？”他问我。
“It’s good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up.”
“爱丽丝要办这个派对真好，你需要做些事情让自己振作精神。”
“You are so beautiful,” he said.
“你好美。”他说道。
Charlie laughed at my tone and squeezed my shoulders. Edward looked at the clouds, his face thoughtful.
查理嘲笑着我的语气，掐了一下我的肩膀。爱德华看着乌云，脸上若有所思。
My father had to leave us at the back door of the gym and go around to the main entrance with the rest of the parents.
我父亲不得不把我们留在体育馆后门口，绕过去从主入口处和其他家长们一起进场。
“Down here, Bella!” Jessica called again.
“到这儿来，贝拉！”杰西卡又叫道。
Jess was babbling before I was in earshot.
我还没走到听力范围之内，杰西就开始滔滔不绝地说起来了。
I walked down the line to take my place behind Jessica, mildly curious as to why she was suddenly so friendly. As I got closer, I saw Angela five people back, watching Jessica with the same curiosity.
我走到队伍的后面站在杰西卡后面，她突然如此友好令我有些好奇。我走近的时候看见安吉拉和她之间隔了五个人，她同样好奇地看着杰西卡。
It was pandemonium as Ms. Cope from the front office and Mr. Varner the math teacher tried to line everyone up alphabetically.
这里简直是一片混乱，校办公室的柯普女士和数学老师瓦纳先生试图让大家按照字母顺序排队。
“So do I,” I muttered.
“我也是。”我咕哝道。
“Up front, Mr. Cullen,” Mr. Varner barked at Edward.
“往前面来，卡伦先生。”瓦纳先生冲着爱德华大声叫道。
Edward kissed me quickly, sighed, and went to go stand with the C’s. Alice wasn’t there. What was she going to do? Skip graduation? What poor timing on my part. I should have waited to figure things out until after this was over with.
爱德华飞快地吻了我一下，叹口气，走过去站在C开头的队伍里。爱丽丝不在那儿，她要干什么？翘掉毕业典礼？我安排时间多么差劲啊！我应该等到这一切都结束后再弄清楚的。
I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving at me from the back of the line with a smile on her face.
我抬头看见杰西卡·斯坦利在队伍后面笑着向我挥手。
“This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing. And now I’m off to California and you’ll be in Alaska and I’m going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we’ll get together sometimes! I’m so glad you’re having a party. That’s perfect. Because we really haven’t spent much time together in a while and now we’re all leaving…”
“这一切都是那么不可思议。你还记得你第一天来这儿的情景吗？我们那时候好像马上就成了朋友，从我们看见对方的第一次开始。不可思议，现在我要去加利福尼亚了，而你会去阿拉斯加，我会非常想念你的！你得答应我们时不时地聚一聚！我很高兴你要开派对，简直太完美了。因为我们有一段时间没在一起玩了，现在我们就要分别了……”
“… so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we’re graduating together,” she gushed. “Can you believe it’s over? I feel like screaming!”
“……真的很惊讶。我的意思是，好像我们刚刚遇见，现在我们就要一起毕业了，”她过度热情地说道，你能相信就这样结束了吗？我想要尖叫！”
“Hey, Bella!”
“嘿，贝拉。”
Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, the valedictorian, had to say about commencement meaning “beginning” and all the rest of the trite nonsense. Maybe more for me than for the rest, but we were all leaving something behind us today.
因为这是结束，不管埃里克——致告别词的学生代表，说到正式开始的时候的意思是“开始”还是其他的陈词滥调。较之其他人，这对我而言或许有更加深刻的意义吧，不过我们今天都会在我们身后留下什么。
She droned on and on, and I was sure the sudden return of our friendship was due to graduation nostalgia and gratitude for the party invite, not that I’d had anything to do with that. I paid attention as well as I could while I shrugged into my robe. And I found that I was glad that things could end on a good note with Jessica.
她叽叽喳喳个不停，我肯定我们之间的友谊突然恢复了，这得归功于毕业在即的离愁别绪，还有收到派对的邀请，跟我没有任何关系。我扭动肩膀穿上毕业长袍的时候尽量注意听她在说什么，我发现我很高兴能与杰西卡好聚好散。
It went so quickly. I felt like I’d hit the fast forward button. Were we supposed to march quite that fast? And then Eric was speed talking in his nervousness, the words and phrases running together so they didn’t make sense anymore. Principal Greene started calling names, one after the other without a long enough pause between; the front row in the gymnasium was rushing to catch up. Poor Ms. Cope was all thumbs as she tried to give the principal the right diploma to hand to the right student.
时间过得那么快，我感到好像按下了快进键一样。难道我们应该向前走得那么快吗？接着埃里克因为紧张开始讲得飞快了，词句短语一个挨一个再也听不懂他在讲什么了。格林校长开始一个接一个地点名，中间没多少停顿；体育馆的前排的学生则匆忙跟上。可怜的柯普女士笨手笨脚地把正确的毕业证递给校长，然后由他颁发给对应的学生。
I watched as Alice, suddenly appearing, danced across the stage to take hers, a look of deep concentration on her face. Edward followed behind, his expression confused, but not upset. Only the two of them could carry off the hideous yellow and still look the way they did. They stood out from the rest of the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how I’d ever fallen for their human farce. A couple of angels, standing there with wings intact, would be less conspicuous.
我注视着爱丽丝突然出现轻快地走过舞台接受她的毕业证，她脸上的表情非常专注。爱德华紧随其后，他脸上流露出迷惑不解的表情，但是并不难过。只有他们两个穿上这种可怕的黄色长袍之后看上去还是那么迷人。他们鹤立鸡群，那种美丽与优雅属于另一个世界，我不知道我会如何为他们所冒充的人类而倾倒。像一对天使，羽翼丰满地站在那里，就不会那么惹人注意了。
Mr. Greene finished with the list of names, and then continued to hand out diplomas with a sheepish grin as we filed past.
格林先生念完名单后，接着继续给我们颁发毕业证，我们鱼贯而过的时候他脸上露出腼腆的笑容。
I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. I was conscious of cheering in the back of the gym, and I looked around to see Jacob pulling Charlie to his feet, both of them hooting in encouragement. I could just make out the top of Billy’s head beside Jake’s elbow. I managed to throw them an approximation of a smile.
一听见格林校长叫到我的名字，我就从椅子上站了起来，等待着我前面的队伍往前走。我意识到体育馆后面的欢呼声，我环顾着四周看见雅各布拉着查理站了起来，两个人都大叫着鼓励我。我只辨认出雅各布胳膊旁边是比利的头顶，我勉强朝他们做了个还算是微笑的表情。
“Congratulations, Miss Stanley,” he mumbled as Jess took hers.
“恭喜你，斯坦利小姐。”杰西接过她自己的证书之后，他低声说道。
“Thanks,” I murmured.
“谢谢。”我低声说道。
“Congratulations, Miss Swan,” he mumbled to me, pressing the diploma into my good hand.
“恭喜你，斯旺小姐。”他对我说道，并把毕业证塞在我没受伤的手上。
I went to stand next to Jessica with the assembled graduates. Jess was all red around the eyes, and she kept blotting her face with the sleeve of her robe. It took me a second to understand that she was crying.
我朝聚集在一起的毕业生走过去站在杰西卡旁边。杰西的眼睛红彤彤的，她不停地用长袍的袖子遮住自己的脸，过了好一会儿我才明白她在哭泣。
“Oh, Bella!” Jess blubbered over the sudden roar of conversation. “I can’t believe we’re done.”
“噢，贝拉，”杰西在突然爆发的嘈杂的交谈声中哭泣着说道，“我简直不敢相信就这样结束了。”
Mr. Greene said something I didn’t hear, and everyone around me shouted and screamed. Yellow hats rained down. I pulled mine off, too late, and just let it fall to the ground.
格林先生说了些什么，我没听见，我周围的所有人都在大喊大叫，黄色的帽子像雨点般落了下来。我也把我的拉下来，但是为时已晚，它掉在地板上。
And that was it.
就这样了。
“I can’t believe it’s all over,” I mumbled.
“我不能相信这一切都结束了，”我喃喃自语。
I hugged her back, feeling a little awkward as I dodged her request. “I’m so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years.”
我也拥抱她，回避她的问题时感到有些笨拙：“认识你我非常高兴，杰西卡，这两年真的很有意义。”
She threw her arms around my neck. “You have to promise we won’t lose touch.”
她突然用胳膊抱住我的脖子：“你得保证我们不会失去联系的。”
“It was,” she sighed, and sniffed. Then she dropped her arms. “Lauren!” she squealed, waving over her head and pushing through the massed yellow gowns. Families were beginning to converge, pressing us tighter together.
“是的，”她感叹道，吸了吸鼻子，接着她放下胳膊，“劳伦！”她尖声喊道，把手举过脑袋挥动起来，然后从一堆黄色的袍子中挤过去。家人们开始聚集到一起，把我们挤得更紧了。
“What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean.”
“不过她到底在想什么呢？我的意思是，瞒着你。”
“You don’t look like you’re over the nerves yet,” he noted.
“看起来你的紧张还没过去。”他强调道。
“Congratulations,” Edward whispered in my ear, his arms winding around my waist. His voice was subdued; he’d been in no hurry for me to reach this particular milestone.
“祝贺你。”爱德华在我耳边轻声说道，他的胳膊搂着我的腰，声音被湮没了，他一点儿也不急着让我到达这个特别的里程碑。
“Who are you looking for?”
“你在找谁？”
“Worrying about Alice?” I asked.
“你很担心爱丽丝？”我问道。
His voice took on a new tone. I looked up to see his confused expression as he stared toward the back door of the gym, and I made an impulse decision — the kind I really should think twice about, but rarely did.
他的声音里多了另一种语气。我抬起头看着他那迷惑不解的表情，他凝视着体育馆的后面，我作出一个冲动的决定——那种我真的需要再三思考之后再作，但又很少这么作的决定。
I craned my head, looking for Alice.
我伸长脖子寻找爱丽丝。
“What’s left to worry about? The party? It won’t be that horrible.”
“还剩下什么要担心的？派对？不会那么可怕的。”
“She ran out as soon as she had her diploma.”
“她一拿到证书就跑出去了。”
My searching wasn’t quite as subtle as I’d thought. “Alice — where is she?”
我寻找的动作没我想的那样轻微：“爱丽丝——她去哪儿了？”
His eyes flashed down to my face, and narrowed in suspicion. “She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language.”
他的眼神飘回来，怀疑地眯起眼睛低头看着我：“实际上，她正在把《共和国战歌》翻译成阿拉伯语。她完成后接着又去研究朝鲜符号语言了。”
“You’re probably right.”
“你很可能是对的。”
“Er…” He didn’t want to answer that.
“呃……”他不想回答。
“Not quite yet.”
“还没有。”
“Um, thanks.”
“呃，谢谢。”
I caught sight of Angela and Ben, but they were surrounded by their families. I would congratulate them later.
我看见安吉拉和本了，但是他们被包围在家人中问，我可以稍后再祝贺他们。
“Sure.” I smiled a weak smile. “I’m the one who came up with it.”
“当然，”我懦弱地笑了笑，“我才是想到这件事的人。”
I laughed nervously. “I suppose that would keep her head busy enough.”
我紧张兮兮地大笑道：“我猜那样会让她的脑袋忙得不可开交了。”
I looked around. Charlie would be on his way through the crowd now.
我看了看周围，查理现在要穿过人群了。
He nodded once, his mouth a grim line.
他点了点头，嘴巴抿成一条阴沉的线。
“What are you talking about?”
“你在说什么？”
In hurried whispers I explained my reasoning to him. “I think you’re wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it’s mostly coming at us from one side… and I think it’s coming at me, really. It’s all connected, it has to be. It’s just one person who’s messing with Alice’s visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It’s got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes — all of it goes together. My scent is for them.”
我急忙轻声地跟他解释我的推断：“我认为你觉得有东西从四面八方冲着我们而来的想法是错误的，我想他们几乎是从一个方向冲我们而来的……我想他们的目标是我，真的。所有的一切都有关联，一定是这样，只有一个人在迷惑爱丽丝的预见力。我房间里出现的陌生人不过是试探，想看看是不是有人能躲过她。一定是不停地改变主意的那个人，那些新生儿，偷走我的衣服的那个家伙——他们都是一伙的。我的气味是为他们准备的。”
“You know what she’s hiding from me,” he accused.
“你知道她在隐瞒我什么。”他责备道。
I saw Charlie’s head bob up over the other heads as he searched for me. He spotted me and waved.
我看见查理寻找我的时候头来回地在别人头上转来转去，他终于看见我了，然后向我挥挥手。
“Just stay calm, okay?”
“不过要镇定，好吗？”
He waited, confused.
他等待着，一头雾水。
“Knowing Alice,” I whispered in a rush, “she’ll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I’m all for the party being canceled — well, don’t go berserk, regardless, okay? It’s always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow.”
“我知道爱丽丝，”我匆忙地轻声说道，“她可能会试着瞒到晚上派对结束后再告诉你，但是既然我一直赞成取消派对——好吧，不管怎么样，别火冒三丈，好吗？知道尽可能多的信息总会更好。无论如何，总会有所帮助的。”
His eyes were huge, wide with panic, dazed and horrified. He could see that I was right, just as Alice had.
他的眼睛瞪得大大的，既恐慌，又茫然，还很惊骇。他看得出来我是正确的，和爱丽丝一样。
His face had turned so white that I had a hard time finishing. “But no one’s coming for you, don’t you see? This is good — Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!”
他的脸刷的一下变得惨白，这让我难以把话讲完：“但是，没有人来找你，难道你没发现吗？这很好——埃斯梅、爱丽丝、卡莱尔，没有人想要伤害他们。”
“Thanks,” I muttered, preoccupied by the expression on Edward’s face. He still hadn’t gained control. His hands were halfway extended toward me, like he was about to grab me and make a run for it. Only slightly more in control of myself than he was, running didn’t seem like such a terrible idea to me.
“谢谢。”我咕哝道，一直关注着爱德华脸上的表情，他仍然没能恢复自控力。他的双手半伸向我，好像要一把抓住我逃跑一样。因为我只不过比他多了那么一点点自控力，逃跑似乎对我而言并不是那么可怕的主意。
“Congratulations, baby!” He was still yelling, even though he was right at my ear now. He wrapped his arms around me, ever so slyly shuffling Edward off to the side as he did so.
“祝贺你，宝贝！”他还在叫，即使现在他已经就在我耳边说话了。他一把抱住我，顺便狡猾地把爱德华从我身边推开了。
I put my hand on his cheek. “Calm,” I pleaded.
我把手放在他的脸颊上，“镇定。”我恳求道。
“Bella!” Charlie crowed, pushing his way past the close-packed families around us.
“贝拉！”查理欢叫道，从紧紧围绕着我们的家庭之中穿了过来。
“Jacob and Billy had to take off — did you see that they were here?” Charlie asked, taking a step back, but keeping his hands on my shoulders. He had his back to Edward — probably an effort to exclude him, but that was fine at the moment. Edward’s mouth was hanging open, his eyes still wide with dread.
“雅各布和比利得先离开——你没看见他们在这儿吗？”查理后退一步问道，手还是搭在我肩膀上。他背对着爱德华——很可能是想要排挤他，但是此刻这样也没关系。爱德华现在目瞪口呆，惊骇万分。
Okay, so telling Edward had been a really bad idea. Alice was right to keep her thoughts clouded. I should have waited till we were alone somewhere, maybe with the rest of his family. And nothing breakable close by — like windows… cars… school buildings. His face brought back all my fear and then some. Though his expression was past the fear now — it was pure fury that was suddenly plain on his features.
好吧，事实证明告诉爱德华真的是个坏主意，爱丽丝掩饰自己的想法是正确的。我本应该等到我们到了某个独处的地方，或许和他的家人在一起的时候再告诉他的。周围没有易碎的东西——像窗户……汽车……教学楼之类的。他的脸上陡然升起的一阵愤怒的表情让我回想起自己所有的恐惧，随着他的脸色很快回复到平静，我的恐惧也随之减轻了。
“Mm-hmm.”
“嗯哼。”
“Yeah,” I assured my father, trying to pay enough attention. “Heard them, too.”
“是的，”我让父亲放心，努力注意到他在说什么，“也听见他们的声音了。”
“It was nice of them to show up,” Charlie said.
“他们能出现真好。”查理说道。
“So where do you want to go out for dinner?” Charlie asked. “The sky’s the limit.”
“那么你想出去到哪儿吃饭？”查理问道，“哪儿都可以，只要不是上天就行了。”
“Don’t be silly. Do you want to go to the Lodge?” he asked with an eager smile.
“别傻了，你想去洛基小屋吗？”他脸上带着急切的微笑问道。
Charlie smiled wider, and then sighed. He turned his head halfway toward Edward, without really looking at him. “You coming, too, Edward?”
查理笑得更灿烂了，接着叹了叹气。他把头稍稍偏向爱德华，并没有真的看着他：“你也来吗，爱德华？”
“I can cook.”
“我可以做饭的。”
I did not particularly enjoy Charlie’s favorite restaurant, but, at this point, what was the difference? I wasn’t going to be able to eat anyway.
我并没有特别喜欢查理最喜欢的餐馆，但是，在现在这种情况下，这有什么区别呢？不管怎么说我以后都不能再吃东西了。
“Sure, the Lodge, cool,” I said.
“当然，洛基小屋，酷毙了。”我说道。
“Are you two fighting again?”
“你们两个又吵架了吗？”
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go eat.”
我转动眼睛说道：“我们吃饭去吧。”
“Don’t worry about it, Dad,” I reassured him. “I don’t think it’s you.”
“别担心，爸爸，”我安慰他道，“我想不是因为你。”
“You are my business.”
“你就是我的事情。”
I stared at him, my eyes beseeching. Edward pulled his expression together just before Charlie turned to see why he hadn’t gotten an answer.
我盯着他，向他抛出个恳求的眼神。爱德华在查理就要觉出为什么他没有得到答案之前赶紧恢复了镇定。
“Nobody’s fighting. Mind your own business.”
“没有人吵架，管好自己的事情。”
“What did I say?” Charlie asked with a guilty expression.
“我说了什么吗？”查理面带内疚的表情问道。
“Yes. If you’ll excuse me…” Edward turned abruptly and stalked away through the dwindling crowd. He moved just a little bit too fast, too upset to keep up his usually perfect charade.
“是的，如果我能失陪……”爱德华突然转身，昂首阔步地穿过越来越少的人群。他走得太快了一些，太心烦意乱了一些，和他往常的完美伪装很不一样。
“No, thank you,” Edward said stiffly, his face hard and cold.
“不，谢谢您。”爱德华生硬地说道，脸色坚硬而冷漠。
“Do you have plans with your parents?” Charlie asked, a frown in his voice. Edward was always more polite than Charlie deserved; the sudden hostility surprised him.
“你和你父母有安排吗？”查理问道，声音里有些不赞成。爱德华总是比查理配得到的尊重更彬彬有礼一些；突如其来的敌意令他很惊讶。
The Lodge was crowded. The place was, in my opinion, overpriced and tacky, but it was the only thing close to a formal restaurant in town, so it was always popular for events. I stared morosely at a depressed-looking stuffed elk head while Charlie ate prime rib and talked over the back of the seat to Tyler Crowley’s parents. It was noisy — everyone there had just come from graduation, and most were chatting across the aisles and over the booth-tops like Charlie.
洛基小屋的人很多。这个地方在我看来收费既高又俗气，但是这是镇上唯一一家比较正式一点儿的餐厅，所以每逢有活动的时候这里总是很受欢迎。我愁眉苦脸地盯着一个神情沮丧，塞得满满的麇鹿头，查理则在吃上肋，和后面座位上的泰勒·克劳雷的父母聊天。这里很吵——每个人都是从毕业典礼上过来的，大多数人都像查理一样隔着过道，探过隔板聊天。
I had my back to the front windows, and I resisted the urge to turn around and search for the eyes I could feel on me now. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see anything. Just as I knew there was no chance that he would leave me unguarded, even for a second. Not after this.
我背对着前面的窗户，抵抗着转过身直视此刻正在搜寻我的那双眼睛的冲动，我知道我不会看见什么。只是我知道他不会让我有不受到保护的时候，哪怕只有一秒钟，发生这样的事情之后更不会。
Dinner dragged. Charlie, busy socializing, ate too slowly. I picked at my burger, stuffing pieces of it into my napkin when I was sure his attention was somewhere else. It all seemed to take a very long time, but when I looked at the clock — which I did more often than necessary — the hands hadn’t moved much.
饭吃得拖拖拉拉的，查理忙于交际吃得太慢了，我挑了一块汉堡包，确定他的注意力在别处的时候把面包屑塞进我的餐巾里。整个过程似乎花了很长时间，但是当我看钟的时候——我看钟的频率实在是太高了——指针根本没怎么走动。
Finally Charlie got his change back and put a tip on the table. I stood up.
终于查理拿回了找零，把小费放在桌上，我站了起来。
“I want to help Alice set things up,” I claimed.
“我想帮爱丽丝准备东西去。”我声称。
“Okay.” He turned away from me to say goodnight to everyone. I went out to wait by the cruiser.
“好吧。”他转身背对着我跟大家道晚安，我则走出去在巡逻车旁等他。
“In a hurry?” he asked me.
“很着急？”他问我。
I leaned against the passenger door, waiting for Charlie to drag himself away from the impromptu party. It was almost dark in the parking lot, the clouds so thick that there was no telling if the sun had set or not. The air felt heavy, like it was about to rain.
我靠在乘客座这边的门上，等待查理从临时的派对上慢腾腾地脱身出来。停车场里几乎都天黑了下来，乌云那么厚，根本无从辨别太阳是否下山了。空气很闷，好像要下雨了一样。
Charlie sauntered out to the car, muttering about impatience.
查理慢悠悠地朝汽车走来，不耐烦地喃喃自语。
“I’m out here.”
“我出来了，在这儿。”
“Not so great,” he murmured. “But I’ve got a handle on myself. I’m sorry that I lost it back there.”
“不太好，”他低声说道，“不过我已经稳定自己的情绪了，很抱歉刚才我失控了。”
“My fault. I should have waited to tell you.”
“是我的错，我本应该等一等再告诉你的。”
He suddenly kissed me again, not letting me answer. He pulled away after just a second. “Charlie’s on his way.”
他突然又开始吻我了，不让我回答。不一会儿他就抽身，离我远一点儿了：“查理在来的路上。”
“Bella?” Charlie called from the doorway of the restaurant, squinting into the darkness.
“贝拉？”查理从餐厅的门口喊道，眯起眼睛在黑暗中寻找我。
“No,” he disagreed. “This is something I needed to know. I can’t believe I didn’t see it!”
“不”，他不这么认为，“这是我需要知道的事情，我简直不敢相信我没看出来是这样！”
“I’ll have him drop me at your house.”
“我会让他送我到你家的。”
My gasp turned into a sigh of relief as Edward appeared out of the gloom.
看见爱德华从黑暗中走了出来，我原本在大口喘气的，现在却变成了一声欣喜的叹息。
“And you don’t?”
“你不需要想吗？”
“You’ve got a lot on your mind.”
“你要想很多事。”
“How are you?” I asked as soon as he let me breathe.
“你怎么样？”他一松开我我就问道。
“I’ll follow you there.”
“我会跟着你过去的。”
Without a word, he pulled me tightly against his chest. One cool hand found my chin, and pulled my face up so that he could press his hard lips to mine. I could feel the tension in his jaw.
他一把拉着我，一句话都没说，紧紧地把我抱在怀里。一只冰凉的手摸到了我的下巴，使我抬起头，这样他就可以用他那坚硬的嘴唇吻我的双唇了，我能感觉到他下巴上的紧张。
“That’s not really necessary,” I tried to say, but he was already gone.
“实在没那个必要。”我想要说，但是已经不见了。
Something moved in the shadows.
阴影中有东西在移动。
“So, how do you feel?” he asked me as we drove north along the highway. “It’s been a big day.”
“你感觉如何？”我们沿着高速公路一路朝北开的时候，他问我“今天可是个大日子啊。”
“Yeah,” I lied again.
“是的。”我又撒谎道。
He snorted. “Maybe. But I’m sure I slipped up in a few places. I mean, look at your hand!”
他嗤之以鼻：“或许吧，但是我确定有些地方我做得不够好。我的意思是，瞧瞧你的手。”
“It’s not silly. I feel like I don’t always do everything for you that I should.”
“不是傻，我感觉自己总是没有做我应该为你做的事情。”
He laughed, seeing through me easily. “Worried about the party?” he guessed.
他大笑起来，一眼就看穿了，“很担心派对？”他猜测道。
This time he didn’t notice. “You were never one for the parties.”
这一次他没注意到，“你从来都不喜欢派对。”
“Don’t be silly, Dad.”
“别傻了，爸爸。”
I stared down blankly at my hands. My left hand rested lightly on the dark brace I rarely thought about. My broken knuckle didn’t hurt much anymore.
我茫然地低头看自己的手。我的左手轻轻地躺在黑色的矫形套上，我几乎都忘了有这么回事了。我骨折的关节不再那么痛了。
“That’s ridiculous. You do a fantastic job. World’s best dad. And…” It wasn’t easy to talk about feelings with Charlie, but I persevered after clearing my throat. “And I’m really glad I came to live with you, Dad. It was the best idea I ever had. So don’t worry — you’re just experiencing post-graduation pessimism.”
“这很可笑，你做得棒极了，世界上最好的爸爸……”和查理谈感情不是件容易的事情，不过在我清好嗓子之后我有些保留地说道。而且我真的很高兴过来和你一起生活，爸爸。这是我想到过的最好的主意，所以别担心——你只不过正在经历毕业后的悲观情绪罢了。”。
“I feel fine,” I lied.
“我感觉很好，”我撒谎道。
“Wonder where I got that from,” I murmured.
“不知道我从哪里获得的。”我低声咕哝道。
Charlie chuckled. “Well, you look really nice. I wish I’d thought to get you something. Sorry.”
查理轻声地笑着说，“好吧，你看起来真的很漂亮。我希望我早想到给你买点什么，对不起。”
“No matter what side I’m on, if someone kisses you without your permission, you should be able to make your feelings clear without hurting yourself. You didn’t keep your thumb inside your fist, did you?”
“不管我站在哪边，如果有人没经过你的同意而吻你，你就应该能够在不伤害到自己的情况下，让对方明白你的感受。你没有把大拇指塞在拳头里，对吗？”
“Next time?” I asked incredulously.
“还有下一次？”我难以置信地问道。
“No, Dad. That’s kind of sweet in a weird way, but I don’t think lessons would have helped. Jacob’s head is really hard.”
“没有，爸爸。那样给人的感觉倒是种奇怪的甜蜜，但是我认为给我上课起不了什么作用，雅各布的头真的很硬。”
“I know.” I sighed. “I don’t really know what the right thing to do here is, Dad.”
“我知道，”我感叹道，“我真的不知道该怎么做才算对，爸爸。”
“Aw, don’t be too hard on the kid. He’s young.”
“啊，别太难为这孩子，他还小。”
“He’s still your friend.”
“他还是你的朋友。”
“He’s obnoxious.”
“他活该。”
Charlie laughed. “Hit him in the gut next time.”
查理大笑着说：“下一次打在他的肚子上。”
Charlie laughed again, and then frowned. “If this party gets too wild…” he began.
查理又大笑起来，接着皱着眉头说，“如果派对变得太疯狂……”他开始讲道。
Charlie nodded slowly. “Yeah. The right thing isn’t always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So… good luck figuring that out.”
查理慢慢地点点头：“是的，正确的事情并不总是那么明显的。有时候对一个人正确的事情，对其他人却是错误的。那么……祝你好运弄明白这事。”
“I thought you were on Jacob’s side?”
“我以为你总是站在雅各布那边的呢。”
“Thanks,” I muttered dryly.
“谢谢。”我淡淡地低声说道。
“I never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that.”
“我从来都没想过有必要教你如何挥拳头，我猜这一点我想错了。”
Charlie grimaced as he squinted through the windshield into the night. Charlie enjoyed a good party just about as much as I did.
查理摆出一副苦相，眯着眼睛看着挡风玻璃前面黑黢黢的一片。查理喜欢派对的程度差不多跟我一样。
“Don’t worry about it, Dad. Carlisle and Esme are going to be there. I’m sure you can come, too, if you want.”
“对此您不用担心，爸爸，卡莱尔和埃斯梅都会来的。我确定您也可以过来，如果您想的话。”
“Where’s the turnoff, again?” he asked. “They ought to clear out their drive — it’s impossible to find in the dark.”
“岔道在哪儿？”他问道，“他们应该清理车道——黑黢黢的根本找不到。”
“Maybe,” Charlie said as the road curved to the east. “Or maybe not.”
“或许吧，”查理说道，路弯向了东面，“或许不会。”
The black velvet darkness was interrupted ahead, just where the Cullens’ drive should be. Someone had wrapped the trees on either side in thousands of twinkle lights, impossible to miss.
黑色天鹅绒般的黑夜在前面就被打破了，那里应该就是卡伦家的车道。有人在马路两边的树上裹上了成千上万只霓虹灯，这样就不可能错过了。
“Just around the next bend, I think.” I pursed my lips. “You know, you’re right — it is impossible to find. Alice said she put a map in the invitation, but even so, maybe everyone will get lost.” I cheered up slightly at the idea.
“我想就在下一个拐弯的地方。”我嘟起嘴巴，“您知道，您是对的——很难找到。爱丽丝说过她在请柬上画了地图的，但是即便如此，或许大家还是会迷路的。”想到这里我稍微开心了一点儿。
“Wow,” Charlie said as we turned onto the drive. The two trees at the entry weren’t the only ones lit. Every twenty feet or so, another shining beacon guided us toward the big white house. All the way — all three miles of the way.
“哇哦。”我们开上车道的时候查理说道。人口处的两棵树并不是唯一被点亮的树。差不多每隔二十英尺，另一个闪闪发光的灯塔就引领着我们开往那座大房子。一路上都有——足足有三英里。
“Alice,” I said sourly.
“爱丽丝。”我愠怒地说道。
“Sure you don’t want to come in?”
“当然不是，您不想进来吗？”
“She doesn’t do things halfway, does she?” Charlie mumbled in awe.
“她不会做事半途而废吧，是不是？”查理敬畏地咕哝道。
“Thanks so much, Dad.”
“非常感谢，爸爸。”
“Extremely sure. Have fun, kid.”
“相当确定，玩得开心，孩子。”
He was laughing to himself as I got out and shut the door. I watched him drive away, still grinning. With a sigh, I marched up the stairs to endure my party.
我下车关上门的时候他自我解嘲地笑了起来。我注视着他开走时，脸上还挂着笑容。我舒了一口气开始朝台阶走过去，熬过我的派对。
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