The dance was billed as semiformal, and we weren’t exactly sure what that meant. Both Jessica and Angela seemed surprised and almost disbelieving when I told them I’d never been to a dance in Phoenix.
海报上说这是一次半正式舞会，但我们不太能肯定那意味着什么。当我告诉杰西卡和安吉拉在凤凰城我从没参加过舞会的时候，她们两个都大吃一惊，简直难以置信。
Jess drove faster than the Chief, so we made it to Port Angeles by four. It had been a while since I’d had a girls’ night out, and the estrogen rush was invigorating. We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with. Jessica’s dinner with Mike had gone very well, and she was hoping that by Saturday night they would have progressed to the first-kiss stage. I smiled to myself, pleased. Angela was passively happy to be going to the dance, but not really interested in Eric. Jess tried to get her to confess who her type was, but I interrupted with a question about dresses after a bit, to spare her. Angela threw a grateful glance my way.
杰西开车比警长还快，所以我们四点就到了天使港。距我的上一次女孩夜间出行已经有一段时间了，所以在我体内奔涌的雌性激素让我十分亢奋。我们听着烦人的摇滚乐，杰西卡含糊不清地说着和我们一起玩的男孩。杰西卡和迈克的晚餐进行得相当顺利，她希望周六晚上他们可以进展到初吻阶段。我愉快地向自己笑了笑。安吉拉只是随大流地对参加舞会感到高兴，但对埃里克真的没什么兴趣。杰西试图逼供出她喜欢的男生类型，但稍后就被我用一个关于衣服的提问给打断了，便放过了她。安吉拉向我投来感激的一瞥。
Port Angeles was a beautiful little tourist trap, much more polished and quaint than Forks. But Jessica and Angela knew it well, so they didn’t plan to waste time on the picturesque boardwalk by the bay. Jess drove straight to the one big department store in town, which was a few streets in from the bay area’s visitor-friendly face.
天使港是个小巧精致的专坑游客的风景点，比福克斯更漂亮，更有趣。但杰西卡和安吉拉对这里很熟，所以她们根本没在岸边的观光大道浪费时间。杰西径直开向了镇上一家大型百货商店，那里和戴着游客至上的面具的海岸区域只隔着几条街道。
She looked skeptical. “People ask you out here,” she reminded me, “and you tell them no.” We were in the juniors” section now, scanning the racks for dress-up clothes.
她看上去仍在怀疑。“这里有人邀请你出去，”她提醒我，“可你都对他们说不。”我们正在青春时尚区，细看着一排排派对服饰。
I was silent, still lost in shock that was quickly turning to irritation. But we had found the dress racks, and now we had work to do.
我沉默着，依然沉浸在打击之中，然后很快变成了愤怒。但我们已经找到衣架了，现在我们有活干了。
“Why not?” Jessica demanded.
“为什么不出去呢？”杰西卡盘问道。
“Excuse me?” I gasped. “What did you say?”
“不好意思，”我喘着气说道。“你在说什么？”
“I told you it wasn’t true,” Angela murmured to Jessica.
“我告诉过你那不是真的。”安吉拉对杰西卡低声抱怨道
“Tyler told everyone he’s taking you to prom,” Jessica informed me with suspicious eyes.
“泰勒告诉每一个人他将会和你一起去正式舞会。”杰西卡用怀疑的眼神告诉我。
“Didn’t you ever go with a boyfriend or something?” Jess asked dubiously as we walked through the front doors of the store.
“难道你从来都没有跟男朋友或者之类的人去过吗？”我们穿过商店的前门时，杰西卡怀疑地问道。
“He said what?” I sounded like I was choking.
“他说什么？”我的声音听起来像是要窒息了。
“Really,” I tried to convince her, not wanting to confess my dancing problems. “I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything close. I didn’t go out much.”
“真的。”我力求让她相信这一点，不想坦白承认我的跳舞问题。“我从来没有过男朋友，或者类似的人。我很少出去。”
“Well, except for Tyler,” Angela amended quietly.
“嗯，除了泰勒。”安吉拉默默地更正道。
“No one asked me,” I answered honestly.
“没人邀请我。”我如实答道。
“That’s why Lauren doesn’t like you,” Jessica giggled while we pawed through the clothes.
“这就是为什么劳伦不喜欢你。”当我们翻拣着衣服的时候，杰西卡咯咯地笑着对我说。
Jess was torn between two — one a long, strapless, basic black number, the other a knee-length electric blue with spaghetti straps. I encouraged her to go with the blue; why not play up the eyes? Angela chose a pale pink dress that draped around her tall frame nicely and brought out honey tints in her light brown hair. I complimented them both generously and helped by returning the rejects to their racks. The whole process was much shorter and easier than similar trips I’d taken with Renee at home. I guess there was something to be said for limited choices.
杰西在两条裙子中挣扎着——一件是长款无肩带的经典黑色礼服，另一件是及膝细肩带的铁蓝色礼服。我推荐她选蓝色那件，为什么不抓住人们的眼球呢？安吉拉选了一条淡粉色裙子，它恰到好处地裹住她纤长的身形，给她浅棕色的头发增添了几分甜美。我毫不吝啬地赞美她们，帮忙把她们不要的衣服挂回衣架上。整个过程比我在家陪蕾妮购物时要短暂和容易得多。我猜想，如果真要说是为什么的话，是因为这里的选择很有限。
The dress selection wasn’t large, but both of them found a few things to try on. I sat on a low chair just inside the dressing room, by the three-way mirror, trying to control my fuming.
这里的裙子不算很多，但她们两个都找到了不少值得试穿的衣服。我坐在更衣室里的一张矮脚凳上，靠着那块三面镜，试图控制自己七窍生烟的愤怒。
“Maybe,” Jess snickered. “If that’s why he’s doing this.”
“也许吧。”杰西窃笑着说。“也许这就是他这样做的原因。”
I ground my teeth. “Do you think that if I ran him over with my truck he would stop feeling guilty about the accident? That he might give up on making amends and call it even?”
我把牙咬得咯咯直响。“你觉得，要是我开着我的卡车从他身上碾过去，他会不会不再对对那次事故感到内疚？他会不会放弃弥补他的过错甚至回过头来要求我补偿他？”
We headed over to shoes and accessories. While they tried things on I merely watched and critiqued, not in the mood to shop for myself, though I did need new shoes. The girls’ — night high was wearing off in the wake of my annoyance at Tyler, leaving room for the gloom to move back in.
我们又冲去买鞋子和饰品。当她们试穿的时候我只是在一旁看着提供意见，没有心情给自己买东西，尽管我确实需要买新鞋了。女孩之夜带来的亢奋在我回想起对泰勒的厌恶以后已经快要消失殆尽了，给忧郁留下了卷土重来的空间。
“Angela?” I began, hesitant, while she was trying on a pair of pink strappy heels — she was overjoyed to have a date tall enough that she could wear high heels at all.
“安吉拉？”在她试穿一双粉色的装饰着皮革的高跟鞋时，我迟疑着开了口。她正为有一个足够高的舞伴而欣喜若狂，这样他就能穿高跟鞋了。
Jessica had drifted to the jewelry counter and we were alone.
杰西卡已经逛到了珠宝柜台，留下我们两个在一起。
“Yes, when the weather is good they go backpacking all the time — even the doctor. They’re all real outdoorsy,” she told me quietly, examining her shoes, too. She didn’t ask one question, let alone the hundreds that Jessica would have unleashed. I was beginning to really like Angela.
“是的，当天气晴好的时候他们会把所有的时间都花在徒步旅行上——甚至包括医生本人。他们都非常喜欢户外活动。”她平静地告诉我，依然在检查她想鞋子。她甚至没有问一个问题，更别提杰西卡会连珠炮似的发问的成百个问题了。我真的开始喜欢安吉拉了。
I chickened out. “I like those.”
我的勇气又用完了，只好放弃。“我喜欢这双。”
“I think I’ll get them — though they’ll never match anything but the one dress,” she mused.
“我想我可以把它们买下来——虽然除了一条裙子它们什么也不搭。”她若有所思地说着。
“Oh, go ahead — they’re on sale,” I encouraged. She smiled, putting the lid back on a box that contained more practical-looking off-white shoes.
“哦，别犹豫——他们正在打折呢。”我鼓励道。她微笑着，盖上那只装着一对看起来更实用的白色鞋子的盒子。
I tried again. “Um, Angela…” She looked up curiously.
我再次尝试。“呃，安吉拉…”她好奇地抬起头。
“Yes?” She held her leg out, twisting her ankle to get a better view of the shoe.
“怎么了？”她伸出腿，转过脚踝，想要更好地看看这双鞋。
“Is it normal for the… Cullens’ — I kept my eyes on the shoes — “to be out of school a lot?” I failed miserably in my attempt to sound nonchalant.
“这是不是很正常…对卡伦家的孩子来说，”我的眼睛盯着她的鞋子。“就是，经常不来上学？”我试着让自己的声音显得漠不关心，却悲惨地以失败告终。
We planned to go to dinner at a little Italian restaurant on the boardwalk, but the dress shopping hadn’t taken as long as we’d expected. Jess and Angela were going to take their clothes back to the car and then walk down to the bay. I told them I would meet them at the restaurant in an hour — I wanted to look for a bookstore. They were both willing to come with me, but I encouraged them to go have fun — they didn’t know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books; it was something I preferred to do alone. They walked off to the car chattering happily, and I headed in the direction Jess pointed out.
我们计划去观光大道上的一家意大利小餐厅吃晚饭，但买衣服所花的时间并没有像我们期待的那样长。杰西和安吉拉打算把她们的衣服拿回车里，再走到海港那里。我告诉她们一个小时以后在餐厅里等她们——我想去找一家书店。她们都很乐意陪我去，但我鼓励她们去玩得开心点——她们都不知道当我被书包围的时候我会多么的沉迷。这是我更情愿一个人做的事。她们向车子走去，开心地闲聊着，而我则直奔向杰西所指的方向。
“Oh.” I let the subject drop as Jessica returned to show us the rhinestone jewelry she’d found to match her silver shoes.
“哦。”当杰西卡折返回来向我们展示她发现的那件可以搭配她的银色鞋子的人造宝石项链时，我丢下了这个话题。
I had no trouble finding the bookstore, but it wasn’t what I was looking for. The windows were full of crystals, dream-catchers, and books about spiritual healing. I didn’t even go inside. Through the glass I could see a fifty-year-old woman with long, gray hair worn straight down her back, clad in a dress right out of the sixties, smiling welcomingly from behind the counter. I decided that was one conversation I could skip. There had to be a normal bookstore in town.
我毫不费力就找到了那家书店，但它并不是我想找的那种书店。橱窗里摆满了水晶球，捕梦网，以及关于精神治疗的书。我甚至不想走进去。透过玻璃，我能看到一个五十岁左右的女人，灰色的头发直直地耷拉在她的背上。她裹着一条六十年代时就已经过时了的裙子，站在柜台后露出热烈欢迎的微笑。我认为我完全可以跳过和她对话这一步。镇上一定还有一家更正常的书店。
I started to realize, as I crossed another road, that I was going the wrong direction. The little foot traffic I had seen was going north, and it looked like the buildings here were mostly warehouses. I decided to turn east at the next corner, and then loop around after a few blocks and try my luck on a different street on my way back to the boardwalk.
当我穿过另一条街道时，我开始意识到，我走错方向了。我看到的仅有的几辆车都是往北去的，而这里的建筑看起来更像是仓库。我决定在下一个路口向东走，然后在走了几个街区原地打转，试图碰碰运气，找到另一条走回观光大道的路。
I meandered through the streets, which were filling up with end-of-the-workday traffic, and hoped I was headed toward downtown. I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should to where I was going; I was wrestling with despair. I was trying so hard not to think about him, and what Angela had said… and more than anything trying to beat down my hopes for Saturday, fearing a disappointment more painful than the rest, when I looked up to see someone’s silver Volvo parked along the street and it all came crashing down on me. Stupid, unreliable vampire, I thought to myself.
我漫步着穿过街道，一心希望自己正在走向闹市区，街上正挤满了下班的车流。我没太留意自己该向哪个方向走去。我正在全力应付着心头的失落。我如此努力地不让自己去想他。而安吉拉所说的…还有更多事情试图击倒我对周六的希望。当我抬头看见别人的银色沃尔沃停在路边时，我感到了一阵更为痛苦的失望，这几乎把我给击垮了。愚蠢，不可靠的吸血鬼，我自忖着。
I stomped along in a southerly direction, toward some glass-fronted shops that looked promising. But when I got to them, they were just a repair shop and a vacant space. I still had too much time to go looking for Jess and Angela yet, and I definitely needed to get my mood in hand before I met back up with them. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times and took some deep breaths before I continued around the corner.
我重重地踏着步子，向更南的方向走去，走向几家正面是玻璃墙的，看起来比较可靠的商店。但当我走过去的时候，才发现那只是一家维修店和一间闲置的店面。我还是有很多时间，没有必要现在就回过头去找杰西和安吉拉。而且在跟她们碰头以前，我确实需要把自己的情绪调整好。我用手指捋了几下头发，做了好几次深呼吸，然后继续转过街角。
“Hello,” I mumbled, a knee-jerk reaction. Then I quickly looked away and walked faster toward the corner. I could hear them laughing at full volume behind me.
“你好。”纯粹是下意识地，我低声说道。然后我飞快地看向别处，加速向拐角处走去。我能听到他们在我身后高声大笑着。
“Hey, there!” one of them called as they passed, and he had to be talking to me since no one else was around. I glanced up automatically. Two of them had paused, the other two were slowing. The closest, a heavyset, dark-haired man in his early twenties, seemed to be the one who had spoken. He was wearing a flannel shirt open over a dirty t-shirt, cut-off jeans, and sandals. He took half a step toward me.
“嘿，这儿！”当他们经过的时候，其中一个喊道。他只能是在跟我说话，因为周围根本没有别人。我下意识地抬起头，他们中的两个停了下来，另外两个还在慢慢走着。离我最近的那个体格魁梧的黑发男人看上去才二十出头，似乎就是刚刚说话的那人。他穿着一件敞开着的法兰绒衬衣，里面穿着一件肮脏的T恤衫，牛仔裤破破烂烂的，还穿着凉鞋。他向我迈了一步。
A group of four men turned around the corner I was heading for, dressed too casually to be heading home from the office, but they were too grimy to be tourists. As they approached me, I realized they weren’t too many years older than I was. They were joking loudly among themselves, laughing raucously and punching each other’s arms. I scooted as far to the inside of the sidewalk as I could to give them room, walking swiftly, looking past them to the corner.
几个男人成群结队地从我正在走向的街角走出来，穿着如此随便，就好像是在下班回家的路上，但他们都脏兮兮的，看上去不像是游客。当他们走到我面前时，我意识到他们没比我大几岁。他们在大声地开着彼此的玩笑，刺耳地大笑着，相互推搡着胳膊。我飞快地躲到人行道内侧，给他们让出路来，很快地走过去，想要从他们身边走过去穿过街角。
“Hey, wait!” one of them called after me again, but I kept my head down and rounded the corner with a sigh of relief. I could still hear them chortling behind me.
“嘿，等等！”他们中的一个又在我背后喊道，但我继续向前冲，直到转过街角，才安下心来，松了一口气。我依然能提到从背后传来的他们得意的高笑。
I found myself on a sidewalk leading past the backs of several somber-colored warehouses, each with large bay doors for unloading trucks, padlocked for the night. The south side of the street had no sidewalk, only a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire protecting some kind of engine parts storage yard. I’d wandered far past the part of Port Angeles that I, as a guest, was intended to see. It was getting dark, I realized, the clouds finally returning, piling up on the western horizon, creating an early sunset. The eastern sky was still clear, but graying, shot through with streaks of pink and orange. I’d left my jacket in the car, and a sudden shiver made me cross my arms tightly across my chest. A single van passed me, and then the road was empty.
我发现自己站在一条人行道上，它通向几座暗色调的大仓库背后，每一座仓库都有着巨大的供货车卸货用到车库门，因为到了晚上而紧锁着。街道南面没有人行道，只有一道高高围起的，上面安着带刺的铁丝网，保卫着高墙后存放着重要货物的远足。我看出来了，作为一个人生地不熟的访客，我离天使港那边已经相当远了。我意识到，天色越来越黯淡，云层最终又聚拢来了，堆积在西边的地平线上，让日落提前了。东边的天空依然晴朗，却灰蒙蒙的，布满了粉色和橙色的光纹。我把夹克留在了车里，一阵忽然的战栗让我紧紧地把双臂抱在胸前。一辆单厢货车从我身边开过，然后路面又变得空荡荡起来。
The sky suddenly darkened further, and, as I looked over my shoulder to glare at the offending cloud, I realized with a shock that two men were walking quietly twenty feet behind me.
天忽然黑得更快了，然后当我越过自己的肩膀看向那片烦人的云彩时，我震惊地注意到两个男人正在我身后二十英尺外的地方悄无声息地向我走来。
I listened intently to their quiet footsteps, which were much too quiet when compared to the boisterous noise they’d been making earlier, and it didn’t sound like they were speeding up, or getting any closer to me. Breathe, I had to remind myself. You don’t know they’re following you. I continued to walk as quickly as I could without actually running, focusing on the right-hand turn that was only a few yards away from me now. I could hear them, staying as far back as they’d been before. A blue car turned onto the street from the south and drove quickly past me. I thought of jumping out in front of it, but I hesitated, inhibited, unsure that I was really being pursued, and then it was too late.
我专注地聆听着他们安静的脚步声，但比起他们之前发出的嘈杂的噪音，这实在是太安静了点。听起来他们也没有任何加速或者靠近我的意思。呼吸，我不得不提醒自己。你不知道他们是不是真的在跟着你。我继续快步走着，速度快得就差没跑起来，专注地盯着现在离我只有几码远的右手边的转角处。我能听到，他们和我依然保持着原来的距离。一辆蓝色的小车从南边开进这条街道，飞快地从我身边开过。我想过跳到车前把它截住，但我犹豫了。我抑制住自己的冲动，是因为不敢确定自己是不是真的被跟踪了。然后，已经太迟了。
They were from the same group I’d passed at the corner, though neither was the dark one who’d spoken to me. I turned my head forward at once, quickening my pace. A chill that had nothing to do with the weather made me shiver again. My purse was on a shoulder strap and I had it slung across my body, the way you were supposed to wear it so it wouldn’t get snatched. I knew exactly where my pepper spray was — still in my duffle bag under the bed, never unpacked. I didn’t have much money with me, just a twenty and some ones, and I thought about “accidentally” dropping my bag and walking away. But a small, frightened voice in the back of my mind warned me that they might be something worse than thieves.
他们是刚刚在街角和我擦身而过的那伙人，但不是刚刚和我说话的那个肤色黝黑的人。我立刻转过头，加快了脚步。一阵与天气无关的寒意又一次让我战栗起来。我的钱包用一根皮带斜挎在身上，我把它紧紧地捂在身上，就是那种你能想到的姿势，这样它就不容易被抢走了。我确切地知道我的防狼喷雾在那里——仍在我床底下的登山包里，还没开封。我身上没有多少钱，只有二十几美元。我考虑着“不小心”让我的包掉下去，然后快步走开。但是，我脑后的一个小小的，吓人的声音警告着我，他们可能会是比强盗更糟糕的人。
I reached the corner, but a swift glance revealed that it was only a blind drive to the back of another building. I was half-turned in anticipation; I had to hurriedly correct and dash across the narrow drive, back to the sidewalk. The street ended at the next corner, where there was a stop sign. I concentrated on the faint footsteps behind me, deciding whether or not to run. They sounded farther back, though, and I knew they could outrun me in any case. I was sure to trip and go sprawling if I tried to go any faster. The footfalls were definitely farther back. I risked a quick glance over my shoulder, and they were maybe forty feet back now, I saw with relief. But they were both staring at me.
我走到拐角处，飞快地瞥了一眼，发现那只是通往另一幢建筑物的断头路。我中途改变了主意。我不得不赶紧改变方向，冲过那条狭窄的车道，然后回到人行道上。这条道路在下一个拐角处中断了。那里有一个停下的标志。我把注意力集中在身后微弱的脚步声上，考虑着要不要逃跑。但是，他们听起来在背后更远的地方，而且我知道无论如何他们都会跑过我的。如果我试图跑快些，我一定会被绊到，然后躺倒在地上。脚步声显然是从后面更远的地方传来的。我冒险飞快地向肩膀后扫了一眼，然后宽慰地看到，他们现在在离我大概有四十英尺的距离。但他们都在盯着我。
It seemed to take forever for me to get to the corner. I kept my pace steady, the men behind me falling ever so slightly farther behind with every step. Maybe they realized they had scared me and were sorry. I saw two cars going north pass the intersection I was heading for, and I exhaled in relief. There would be more people around once I got off this deserted street. I skipped around the corner with a grateful sigh.
我似乎永远也不可能走到拐角处。我尽量让自己的步子踏得稳一些，那两个被我远远地抛在后面的男人每一步都走得那么的轻。也许是他们意识到自己吓着我了，所以感到抱歉。我看见两辆车一路向北开进了我正在前往的那个十字路口，我宽慰地松了口气。等我离开这条荒芜的街道的时候，周围一定会有更多人的。我轻快地跳过拐角，感激地叹了口气。
And skidded to a stop.
然后脚下一滑，停在那里。
The street was lined on both sides by blank, doorless, windowless walls. I could see in the distance, two intersections down, streetlamps, cars, and more pedestrians, but they were all too far away. Because lounging against the western building, midway down the street, were the other two men from the group, both watching with excited smiles as I froze dead on the sidewalk. I realized then that I wasn’t being followed.
这条街道两旁全是空白的，没有门窗的墙。我能看见在远处两个十字路口以外的地方，有街灯，有车流，还有更多的行人，但那些都太远了。因为在这条街的中部，在西边的建筑物旁闲逛着的，正是那伙人中另外两个。当我僵在人行道上的时候，他们都兴奋地笑着看着我。然后我意识到，我没有被跟踪。
I was being herded.
我被堵截了。
“There you are!” The booming voice of the stocky, dark-haired man shattered the intense quiet and made me jump. In the gathering darkness, it seemed like he was looking past me.
“你来啦！”从那个健壮结实的黑发男人口中发出的浑厚的说话声打破这片紧绷的宁静，把我吓了一跳。在逐渐聚拢的黑暗中，他似乎是在向我身后看去。
“Yeah,” a voice called loudly from behind me, making me jump again as I tried to hurry down the street. “We just took a little detour.”
“是啊。”在我试图飞快地穿过街道时，一个声音从我身后大喊着，又把我吓了一跳。“我们只是绕了点路。”
I paused for only a second, but it felt like a very long time. I turned then and darted to the other side of the road. I had a sinking feeling that it was a wasted attempt. The footsteps behind me were louder now.
我只停顿了一秒，但却像一个世纪一样漫长。我转过身去，向路的另一头冲去。我有种沉重的感觉，知道这只是一次白费力的尝试。我身后的脚步声现在变响了。
My steps had to slow now. I was closing the distance between myself and the lounging pair too quickly. I had a good loud scream, and I sucked in air, preparing to use it, but my throat was so dry I wasn’t sure how much volume I could manage. With a quick movement I slipped my purse over my head, gripping the strap with one hand, ready to surrender it or use it as weapon as need demanded.
现在我不得不放慢了脚步。我把自己跟那两个闲逛的人的距离缩短得太快了。我的尖叫相当地响亮，我深吸了一口气，准备让它派上用场。但我的嗓子实在太干了，我不敢肯定我能发出多大的音量。我飞快地把钱包越过头取下来，用一只手紧紧地攥着那条皮带，准备把它交出来，或者在必要的时候当成武器用。
“Stay away from me,” I warned in a voice that was supposed to sound strong and fearless. But I was right about the dry throat — no volume.
“离我远点。”我警告着，猜想着自己的声音听起来有力而且无畏。但我对喉咙太干的判断是正确的——音量不够。
The thickset man shrugged away from the wall as I warily came to a stop, and walked slowly into the street.
当我警惕着停下脚步的时候，慢慢地向街道走去的时候，那个矮胖的男人在墙那边耸了耸肩。
“Don’t be like that, sugar,” he called, and the raucous laughter started again behind me.
“别这样，甜心。”他喊道，然后一片沙哑的笑声又在我背后响起。
I braced myself, feet apart, trying to remember through my panic what little self-defense I knew. Heel of the hand thrust upward, hopefully breaking the nose or shoving it into the brain. Finger through the eye socket — try to hook around and pop the eye out. And the standard knee to the groin, of course. That same pessimistic voice in my mind spoke up then, reminding me that I probably wouldn’t have a chance against one of them, and there were four. Shut up! I commanded the voice before terror could incapacitate me. I wasn’t going out without taking someone with me. I tried to swallow so I could build up a decent scream.
我鼓起勇气，分腿站立，试图在恐惧中记起我知道的那些少得可怜的防身术。手腕外侧向上猛刺，有望打断鼻梁或者把它挤进脑袋里。手指向眼窝猛刺——努力向上钩起，把眼珠子剜出来。当然，还有标准的膝撞腹股沟。同一个悲观的声音在我脑海里大声说着，提醒我很有可能根本没有胜算对抗其中的一个，更何况这里有四个人。闭嘴！我赶在恐惧击倒我以前对那个声音下令。如果没人帮我，我根本不可能逃出生天。我试图吞咽了一下，好发出足够响亮的尖叫。
Headlights suddenly flew around the corner, the car almost hitting the stocky one, forcing him to jump back toward the sidewalk. I dove into the road — this car was going to stop, or have to hit me. But the silver car unexpectedly fishtailed around, skidding to a stop with the passenger door open just a few feet from me.
车灯忽然从转角处飞快地冲过来，那辆车几乎撞上了那个矮胖的男人，逼得他跳回了人行道上。我冲到路上——这辆车要么停下来，要么就得撞上我了。但那辆车出人意料地摆尾急转，骤然停在离我几英尺远的地方，乘客座的门打开了。
“Put on your seat belt,” he commanded, and I realized I was clutching the seat with both hands. I quickly obeyed; the snap as the belt connected was loud in the darkness. He took a sharp left, racing forward, blowing through several stop signs without a pause.
“系上你的安全带。”他命令道，我这才意识到自己双手紧紧地抓着座位。我迅速服从了命令。安全带扣在一起时发出啪的一声，在黑暗中显得格外响亮。他向左急转，向前推进着，接连闯过了好几个红灯也没停下来。
It was amazing how instantaneously the choking fear vanished, amazing how suddenly the feeling of security washed over me — even before I was off the street — as soon as I heard his voice. I jumped into the seat, slamming the door shut behind me.
这实在是太惊人了，那种令人窒息的恐惧瞬间消失了，一种安全感席卷了我的全身——我甚至还在街上站着呢——这一切都发生在我听到他的声音的那一刹那。我跳进座位里，猛地用力把我身后的门关上。
But I felt utterly safe and, for the moment, totally unconcerned about where we were going. I stared at his face in profound relief, relief that went beyond my sudden deliverance. I studied his flawless features in the limited light, waiting for my breath to return to normal, until it occurred to me that his expression was murderously angry.
但眼下我只感受到了一种绝对的安全感，完全不关心我们要去哪里。我凝视着他的脸，深深地感到宽慰，这种宽慰甚至超过了我意外得救的感觉。在微弱的光线里，我细看着他毫无瑕疵的容貌，等着我的呼吸恢复如常，直到我想起来，他脸上的神情是一种残暴的愤怒。
“Get in,” a furious voice commanded.
“上车。”一个狂怒的声音命令道。
It was dark in the car, no light had come on with the opening of the door, and I could barely see his face in the glow from the dashboard. The tires squealed as he spun around to face north, accelerating too quickly, swerving toward the stunned men on the street. I caught a glimpse of them diving for the sidewalk as we straightened out and sped toward the harbor.
车里很黑，即使在门开着的时候也没有任何光线照进来，我只能借着仪表板上发出的红光勉强看清他的脸。他调转车头向北，轮胎发出尖锐的声音。车子加速得太快了，以至于急转着冲向了街道上那些吓呆了的男人。当我们径直开出街道，加速向海湾驶去的时候，我仅能瞥见他们向人行道上逃去。
“Are you okay?” I asked, surprised at how hoarse my voice sounded.
“你还好吧？”我问道，惊讶地发现自己的声音听起来是那么的嘶哑。
“Distract me, please,” he ordered.
“请让我分神。”他下令。
“I’m sorry, what?”
“对不起，你在说什么？”
“Yes?” My voice was still rough. I tried to clear my throat quietly.
“怎么了？”我的声音依然沙哑着。我试图不发出声音地清了清嗓子。
He was still squeezing his eyes closed, but the corner of his mouth twitched.
他依然紧紧地闭着双眼，但他的嘴角微微抽动着。
“Bella?” he asked, his voice tight, controlled.
“贝拉？”他问道。他的声音紧绷着，显然在竭力控制着自己。
“Are you all right?” He still didn’t look at me, but the fury was plain on his face.
“你没事吧？”他还是没有看我，但他脸上的狂怒再明白不过了。
He exhaled sharply.
他急促地呼了口气。
“No,” he said curtly, and his tone was livid.
“不。”他简略地答道，依然是震怒的口吻。
I sat in silence, watching his face while his blazing eyes stared straight ahead, until the car came to a sudden stop. I glanced around, but it was too dark to see anything beside the vague outline of dark trees crowding the roadside. We weren’t in town anymore.
我沉默地坐着，看着他的脸，他冒火的眼睛却直视着前方，直到车子忽然一个急停。我环顾四周，但外面太黑了，除了公路两旁那些模糊的黑色的树影，什么也看不见。我们已经不在镇上了。
“Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down,” he clarified, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
“随便说些不关痛痒的事，直到我平静下来为止。”他阐释着，闭上眼睛，用拇指和食指按压着鼻梁。
“Um.” I wracked my brain for something trivial. “I’m going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?”
“呃。”我痛苦地搜寻着脑海里的琐事。“明天上课以前我要开车从泰勒·克劳利身上碾过去。”
“Yes,” I croaked softly.
“是的。”我用嘶哑的声音轻轻地说着。
“He’s telling everyone that he’s taking me to prom — either he’s insane or he’s still trying to make up for almost killing me last… well, you remember it, and he thinks prom is somehow the correct way to do this. So I figure if I endanger his life, then we’re even, and he can’t keep trying to make amends. I don’t need enemies and maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I might have to total his Sentra, though. If he doesn’t have a ride he can’t take anyone to prom…” I babbled on.
“他告诉每一个人说他要带我去参加正式舞会——不管他是有病还是在努力为上次差点杀了我作补偿…嗯，你记得的，不知怎的他认为正式舞会是这样做的良好时机。所以我估计我也危害一次他的性命的话，我们俩就扯平了，他就不必再努力作补偿了。我不需要敌人，如果他肯放过我的话，也许劳伦会放弃和我做对。不过，也许我得完全摧毁他那辆森特拉。如果他没有车的话，他就没法带任何人去正式舞会了…”我不停地唠叨着。
“Why?”
“为什么？”
“What’s wrong?” My voice came out in a whisper.
“怎么回事？”我的声音低得像在耳边低语。
“You did?” I asked in disbelief, my previous irritation flaring. “If he’s paralyzed from the neck down, he can’t go to the prom, either,” I muttered, refining my plan.
“真的？”我难以置信地问道，早先的怒火再次熊熊燃烧起来。“要是他从脖子以下高位截瘫，他同样也没法去参加正式舞会了。”我喃喃低语着，推敲着我的计划。
“I heard about that.” He sounded a bit more composed.
“我听到过这些传言。”他的声音听起来镇静些了。
Edward sighed, and finally opened his eyes.
爱德华叹息着，终于睁开了眼睛。
“Not really.”
“完全没有。”
“Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella.” He was whispering, too, and as he stared out the window, his eyes narrowed into slits. “But it wouldn’t be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…” He didn’t finish his sentence, looking away, struggling for a moment to control his anger again. “At least,” he continued, “that’s what I’m trying to convince myself.”
“有时候我会很难控制住自己的脾气，贝拉。”他也低语道，当他看向窗外的时候，眼睛眯成了两条缝。“但这对我不会有任何好处，即使我掉头回去，找到那些…”他没把话说完，便移开了视线，再次挣扎了许久，才控制住自己的怒火。“至少，”他继续说道。“这是我努力用力说服自己的借口。”
“Better?”
“好些了？”
I waited, but he didn’t speak again. He leaned his head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car. His face was rigid.
我等待着，但他不再说话了。他把头靠在椅背上，盯着车里的天花板。他的神情很坚毅。
“Oh.” The word seemed inadequate, but I couldn’t think of a better response.
“哦。”这个词显然不够恰当，但我想不出更好的回答。
We sat in silence again. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was past six-thirty.
我们又一次在沉默中坐着。我瞥了一眼仪表板上的时钟。已经六点半了。
“Jessica and Angela will be worried,” I murmured. “I was supposed to meet them.”
“杰西卡和安吉拉会担心的。”我低声说着。“我本来应该去跟她们碰头的。”
He started the engine without another word, turning around smoothly and speeding back toward town. We were under the streetlights in no time at all, still going too fast, weaving with ease through the cars slowly cruising the boardwalk. He parallel-parked against the curb in a space I would have thought much too small for the Volvo, but he slid in effortlessly in one try. I looked out the window to see the lights of La Bella Italia, and Jess and Angela just leaving, pacing anxiously away from us.
他一声不响地发动了引擎，流畅地掉转车头，加速冲回镇里去。我们几乎是立刻就开回了有路灯照明的地方，但车速还是太快，迂回着穿过观光大道上缓缓开着的车流里的空隙。他把车平行于路边停了下来，停在了一个我觉得对这辆沃尔沃来说有点太小的空位上，但他毫不费力地只一次就把车停好了。我向窗外望去，看见了贝拉餐厅的灯光。杰西卡和安吉拉正从店里走出来，焦急地向和我们相反的方向走去。
“I’m taking you to dinner.” He smiled slightly, but his eyes were hard. He stepped out of the car and slammed the door. I fumbled with my seat belt, and then hurried to get out of the car as well. He was waiting for me on the sidewalk.
“我要带你去吃晚餐。”他轻轻地微笑着，眼神却依然坚毅。他走出车外，把门关上。我解开安全带，也匆匆忙忙地下了车。他在人行道上等着我。
“How did you know where…” I began, but then I just shook my head. I heard the door open and turned to see him getting out.
“你怎么会知道上哪儿…？”我开了口，但随后只是摇头。我听到门开的声音，回头去，却看到他正在下车。
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“你要做什么？”我问道。
He spoke before I could. “Go stop Jessica and Angela before I have to track them down, too. I don’t think I could restrain myself if I ran into your other friends again.”
在我开口以前，他说话了：“在我又想去追捕他们以前，去把杰西卡和安吉拉叫住。要是我再碰上你另一些朋友，我不认为我还能管得住自己。”
I shivered at the threat in his voice.
他话语里的威胁让我不寒而栗。
“Jess! Angela!” I yelled after them, waving when they turned. They rushed back to me, the pronounced relief on both their faces simultaneously changing to surprise as they saw who I was standing next to. They hesitated a few feet from us.
“杰西！安吉拉！”我在她们背后大喊着，当她们回过头来时，我用力挥着手。她们转身向我冲回来，但在看清和我站在一起的人以后，脸上显而易见的宽慰瞬间变成了惊讶。她们在离我只有几英尺远的地方踌躇着。
“Where have you been?” Jessica’s voice was suspicious.
“你上哪儿去了？”杰西卡的声音里充满了怀疑。
“Er… sure,” Jessica breathed.
“唔…当然。”杰西卡喘息着说。
“I think you should eat something.” Edward’s voice was low, but full of authority. He looked up at Jessica and spoke slightly louder. “Do you mind if I drive Bella home tonight? That way you won’t have to wait while she eats.”
“我觉得你最好吃点东西。”爱德华的声音很低，却充满了威严。他抬头看着杰西卡，稍稍提高了音量。“你介意我今晚开车送贝拉回家吗？这样你就不用在她吃东西的时候等着了。”
“Would it be all right if I joined you?” he asked in his silken, irresistible voice. I could see from their staggered expressions that he had never unleashed his talents on them before.
“我可以加入你们吗？”他用丝绸一样柔软的，让人无法抗拒的声音问道。我能从她们脸上吃惊的神情看出，此前他从未对她们施展过他的天赋。
“Um, actually, Bella, we already ate while we were waiting — sorry,” Angela confessed.
“呃，事实上，贝拉，在我们等待的时候我们就吃过了——抱歉。”安吉拉坦白道。
“I got lost,” I admitted sheepishly. “And then I ran into Edward.” I gestured toward him.
“我迷路了。”我羞怯地承认道。“然后我碰见了爱德华。”我向他做了个手势。
“That’s fine — I’m not hungry.” I shrugged.
“没关系——我不饿。”我耸耸肩。
“Uh, no problem, I guess…” She bit her lip, trying to figure out from my expression whether that was what I wanted. I winked at her. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my perpetual savior. There were so many questions that I couldn’t bombard him with till we were by ourselves.
“嗯，没问题，我猜…”她咬住唇，试图从我的表情看出哪个才是我想要的。我向她使了个眼色。我什么也不想要，只想和我永远的救星待在一起。我有太多太多的问题要问了，但只有在我们独处的时候，我才能轰炸他。
“Honestly, I’m not hungry,” I insisted, looking up to scrutinize his face. His expression was unreadable.
“老实说，我一点儿也不饿。”我坚持说着，抬起头端详着他的脸。他的神情有些难以捉摸。
“Okay.” Angela was quicker than Jessica. “See you tomorrow, Bella… Edward.” She grabbed Jessica’s hand and pulled her toward the car, which I could see a little ways away, parked across First Street. As they got in, Jess turned and waved, her face eager with curiosity. I waved back, waiting for them to drive away before I turned to face him.
“好吧。”安吉拉比杰西卡反应得更快。“明天见，贝拉…爱德华。”她抓住杰西卡的手，拖着她向车子走去。我看见她的车子离这里不远，停在了第一街上。当她们上车的时候，杰西回过头来向我挥手，她的脸上充满了好奇的渴望。我也向她们挥手，一直等到她们把车开走，才转过身去面对他。
“Humor me.”
“就当是为了我。”
He walked to the door of the restaurant and held it open with an obstinate expression. Obviously, there would be no further discussion. I walked past him into the restaurant with a resigned sigh.
他向餐厅的大门走去，推开门，用固执的神情把门撑住。显然，已经没商量了。我顺从地叹了口气，从他身旁走过，进了餐厅。
The restaurant wasn’t crowded — it was the off-season in Port Angeles. The host was female, and I understood the look in her eyes as she assessed Edward. She welcomed him a little more warmly than necessary. I was surprised by how much that bothered me. She was several inches taller than I was, and unnaturally blond.
餐厅里并不拥挤——现在是天使港的淡季。店主是女的，当她审视着爱德华的时候，我读出了她眼里的神情。她热情地有些过火地欢迎他的光临。我吃惊地发现，这居然会让我如此心烦意乱。她比我高几英寸，漂亮得简直违背了自然规律。
“Um” — she shook her head, blinking — “your server will be right out.” She walked away unsteadily.
“呃。”——她摇了摇头，眨着眼睛——“你的侍者马上就到。”她步伐不稳地走开了。
“Perhaps something more private?” he insisted quietly to the host. I wasn’t sure, but it looked like he smoothly handed her a tip. I’d never seen anyone refuse a table except in old movies.
“也许换个更私密些的地方？”他安静地向店主坚持着。我不太敢肯定，但看上去他熟练地给了她一点小费。我从没见过有人拒绝一个座位，除了在老电影里。
I was about to sit, but Edward shook his head at me.
我正要坐下，爱德华却向摇了摇头。
“Perfect.” He flashed his gleaming smile, dazing her momentarily.
“好极了。”他熠熠生辉的笑容一闪而过，立刻把她迷住了。
“Sure.” She sounded as surprised as I was. She turned and led us around a partition to a small ring of booths — all of them empty. “How’s this?”
“当然。”她听起来和我一样吃惊。她转身领着我们绕过一堵隔墙，走到小小的一圈卡座前——所有的卡座都是空的。“这里怎么样？”
“A table for two?” His voice was alluring, whether he was aiming for that or not. I saw her eyes flicker to me and then away, satisfied by my obvious ordinariness, and by the cautious, no-contact space Edward kept between us. She led us to a table big enough for four in the center of the most crowded area of the dining floor.
“有两个人的位置吗？”不管他是有意的还是无意的，他的声音都太诱人了。我看见她的眼睛飞快地瞥了我一眼，然后移开了。显然她对我的相貌平平，还有爱德华出于谨慎，在我们之间保持着的毫无身体接触的距离感到相当地满意。她把我们带到用餐区里人最多的地方的正中，一张足以坐下四个人的桌子旁。
“You really shouldn’t do that to people,” I criticized. “It’s hardly fair.”
“你真的不应该对别人这样做。”我批评道。“这太不公平了。”
“Do what?”
“做什么？”
“Dazzle them like that — she’s probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now.”
“像那样迷得她们晕头转向——她现在可能正在厨房里大口大口地喘气呢。”
“What?” I asked when she left.
“怎么了？”等她走开以后，我问道。
“Hello. My name is Amber, and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?” I didn’t miss that she was speaking only to him.
“你好，我的名字是安博，今晚我将是您的侍者。您想喝点什么吗？”我不会看错的，她只对他一个人说话。
And then our server arrived, her face expectant. The hostess had definitely dished behind the scenes, and this new girl didn’t look disappointed. She flipped a strand of short black hair behind one ear and smiled with unnecessary warmth.
然后，我们的侍者到了，她一脸的期待。女店主显然已经躲到幕后去上菜了，但这个新来的女孩看上去一点儿也不失望。她把那股短短的黑发拨到耳后，热情得有些过分地笑着。
He looked at me.
他看着我。
“Oh, come on,” I said dubiously. “You have to know the effect you have on people.”
“哦，得了吧。”我怀疑地说。“你必须知道你会对别人造成的影响。”
“I’m fine,” I replied, surprised by his intensity.
“我很好。”我回答道，对他的紧张吃惊不已。
He ignored my questions. “Do I dazzle you?”
他不理会我的问题。“我迷得你晕头转向了吗？”
“I’ll be right back with that,” she assured him with another unnecessary smile. But he didn’t see it. He was watching me.
“马上为您送到。”她用另一个火辣辣的微笑向他保证道。但他没看见。他在看着我。
“You haven’t noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?”
“你没注意到吗？你以为每个人都能那么轻易地为所欲为吗？”
“Frequently,” I admitted.
“经常如此。”我承认道。
“I’ll have a Coke.” It sounded like a question.
“我要一杯可乐。”听起来像是个疑问句。
He tilted his head to one side, and his eyes were curious. “I dazzle people?”
他把头偏向一侧，眼里充满了好奇。“我迷得别人晕头转向？”
He seemed confused.
他似乎很困惑。
His eyes stayed fixed on my face. “How are you feeling?”
他的目光停留在我的脸上：“你感觉怎么样？”
“Two Cokes,” he said.
“两杯可乐。”他说道。
He chuckled at my puzzled tone.
我的口气里充满了迷惑，这让他轻笑起来。
“Well, I’m actually waiting for you to go into shock.” His face twisted up into that perfect crooked smile.
“好吧，我本来还在等着你从震惊里回过神来呢。”他歪扭着脸，露出一个完美的弯弯的微笑。
“And you?” She turned back to him with a smile.
“你呢？”她转身微笑着看着他。
I picked the first thing I saw on the menu. “Um… I’ll have the mushroom ravioli.”
我点了我在菜单上看到的第一样东西。“呃…我要蘑菇馄饨。”
“Are you ready to order?” she asked Edward.
“您准备好点餐了吗？”她问爱德华。
“I don’t think that will happen,” I said after I could breathe again.
“我不觉得会发生那样的事。”直到我能再次顺畅地呼吸，
“Nothing for me,” he said. Of course not.
“不用了。”他说道。当然不用了。
“Just the same, I’ll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you.”
“还是一样，只要你能吃点甜食和食物进去，我会感觉好些。”
“Bella?” he asked. She turned unwillingly toward me.
“贝拉？”他问道。她极不情愿地转过身来面向我。
“You don’t feel dizzy, sick, cold…?”
“你不觉得眩晕，恶心，寒冷…吗？”
Right on cue, the waitress appeared with our drinks and a basket of breadsticks. She stood with her back to me as she placed them on the table.
就好像得到暗示一样，那个女招待带着我们的饮料和一篮烘焙面包卷出现了。当她把这些东西摆上桌的时候，她背对着我站着。
“Should I?”
“我应该这样觉得吗？”
“I’ve always been very good at repressing unpleasant things.”
我才说道。“我通常很擅长忘掉不愉快的事。”
“Let me know if you change your mind.” The coy smile was still in place, but he wasn’t looking at her, and she left dissatisfied.
“如果你改变主意的话，让我知道。”那个羞答答的微笑依然恰当地挂在那里，但他根本就没在看她，她不高兴地走了。
“Drink,” he ordered.
“喝吧。”他下令道。
I sipped at my soda obediently, and then drank more deeply, surprised by how thirsty I was. I realized I had finished the whole thing when he pushed his glass toward me.
我顺从地啜饮着我的苏打水，然后大口喝了起来。我惊讶地发现原来我是这么的渴。当他把他那瓶推给我的时候，我才意识到我已经喝完一整瓶了。
“It’s just the Coke,” I explained, shivering again.
“只是可乐的缘故。”我解释道，又打了个冷战。
“Are you cold?”
“你冷吗？”
“Don’t you have a jacket?” His voice was disapproving.
“你没带夹克外套吗？”他的声音里充满了不赞成。
“Thanks,” I muttered, still thirsty. The cold from the icy soda was radiating through my chest, and I shivered.
“谢谢。”我低声说着，还是觉得很渴。从冰镇苏打水上传来的寒意传遍了我的脸颊，我不禁打了个哆嗦。
“Yes.” I looked at the empty bench next to me. “Oh — I left it in Jessica’s car,” I realized.
“带了。”我看着身旁那张空空的长椅。“哦——我把它落在杰西卡的车上了。”我这才想起来。
Edward was shrugging out of his jacket. I suddenly realized that I had never once noticed what he was wearing — not just tonight, but ever. I just couldn’t seem to look away from his face. I made myself look now, focusing. He was removing a light beige leather jacket now; underneath he wore an ivory turtleneck sweater. It fit him snugly, emphasizing how muscular his chest was.
爱德华开始把他的夹克外套脱下来。我忽然意识到，我一次也没有注意过他的穿着——不只是今晚，从来都是。我只是没法让自己的视线从他脸上移开。现在，我强迫自己去看他的衣着，专心地看。他正在脱下来的是一件浅米黄色的皮夹克，里面穿着一件象牙白色的高领毛衣。这件毛衣紧贴着他，强调着他的胸膛是那么的强壮。
He handed me the jacket, interrupting my ogling.
他把夹克递给我，打断了我含情脉脉的凝视。
“Thanks,” I said again, sliding my arms into his jacket. It was cold — the way my jacket felt when I first picked it up in the morning, hanging in the drafty hallway. I shivered again. It smelled amazing. I inhaled, trying to identify the delicious scent. It didn’t smell like cologne. The sleeves were much too long; I shoved them back so I could free my hands.
“谢谢。”我又说了一遍，这才把胳膊套进他的夹克里。这件衣服很凉——就像是我那件一直挂在通风的走廊里的夹克，早上第一次穿上时的感觉。我又哆嗦了一下。这衣服闻起来很不错。我深吸了一口气，想要分辨出这股甜腻的香气是什么。闻起来不像是古龙水的味道。袖子太长了，我把袖子推上去，好让我的双手解放出来。
“Usually you’re in a better mood when your eyes are so light,” I commented, trying to distract him from whatever thought had left him frowning and somber.
“当你的眼睛如此明亮的时候，你的心情通常都会比较好。”我评价道，试图把他的注意力从那个让他皱着眉闷闷不乐的想法里转移过来。
“You should be — a normal person would be. You don’t even look shaken.” He seemed unsettled. He stared into my eyes, and I saw how light his eyes were, lighter than I’d ever seen them, golden butterscotch.
“你本来应该会的——正常人都会受到打击。你看上去不为所动。”他似乎有些动摇。他凝视着我的眼睛。而我看到了，他的眼睛是那么的明亮，比我见过的任何一次都要更明亮，是一种金色的奶糖的颜色。
“That color blue looks lovely with your skin,” he said, watching me. I was surprised; I looked down, flushing, of course.
“这种蓝色和你的肌肤很是相衬。”他看着我说道。我很惊讶，只得低下了头，理所当然地脸红了。
“I feel very safe with you,” I confessed, mesmerized into telling the truth again.
“和你在一起让我感到很安全。”我坦白道，又一次被他催眠着说出了实话。
I picked up a breadstick and began nibbling on the end, measuring his expression. I wondered when it would be okay to start questioning him.
我一边拿起一个烘焙面包卷，开始一小口一小口地把它吃完，一边估摸他的表情。我想知道什么时候才适合向他提问。
He pushed the bread basket toward me.
他把那一篮面包推到我面前。
“This is more complicated than I’d planned,” he murmured to himself.
“这比我计划的还有复杂。”他低声自言自语道。
“You’re always crabbier when your eyes are black — I expect it then,” I went on. “I have a theory about that.”
“当你的眼睛是黑色的时候，你总要更暴躁些——我想是这样的。”我继续说道。“我有一套关于这个的理论。”
“Really, I’m not going into shock,” I protested.
“真的，我根本就没受到打击。”我反对道。
He stared at me, stunned. “What?”
他吃惊地看着我。“什么？”
That displeased him; his alabaster brow furrowed. He shook his head, frowning.
这是他有点不快。他摇了摇头，皱了皱眉他光滑白皙的眉毛。
But then the waitress strode around the partition with my food. I realized we’d been unconsciously leaning toward each other across the table, because we both straightened up as she approached. She set the dish in front of me — it looked pretty good — and turned quickly to Edward.
但这时候，那个女招待又绕过那堵隔墙，拿着我的食物大步走过来。我意识到我们两个都无意识地从桌子上向对方靠过去，因为当她走过来的时候我们都退回去坐直了身子。她把菜放到我面前——看起来相当地美味——然后飞快地转过身去面向爱德华。
“Sure.” She removed the empty glasses and walked away.
“没问题。”她拿上那两个空杯子，走开了。
“Well, no, I didn’t get it from a comic book, but I didn’t come up with it on my own, either,” I confessed.
“嗯，不是，我不是从漫画书里看到的，但我也不是自己想出来的。”我供认道。
“Mm-hm.” I chewed on a small bite of the bread, trying to look indifferent.
“嗯哼。”我咬了一小口面包，试图让自己的表情显得淡漠些。
His eyes narrowed. “More theories?”
他的眼睛眯缝起来。“又有理论了？”
“Did you change your mind?” she asked. “Isn’t there anything I can get you?” I may have been imagining the double meaning in her words.
“您改变主意了吗？”她问道。“真的没有什么我能为您效劳的吗？”我已经开始想象她话里的双重含义了。
“And?” he prompted.
“还有呢？”他催促着。
“No, thank you, but some more soda would be nice.” He gestured with a long white hand to the empty cups in front of me.
“不用了，谢谢。不过，最好再拿点苏打水过来。”他用纤长雪白的手向我面前的空杯子做了个手势。
“You were saying?” he asked.
“你刚刚说到？”他问道。
“I hope you were more creative this time… or are you still stealing from comic books?” His faint smile was mocking; his eyes were still tight.
“我希望你这次能更有创造性些…或者，你还在窃取漫画书里的理论吗？”他淡淡的笑容里充满了嘲讽，但他的眼睛依然紧绷着。
“I’ll tell you about it in the car. If…” I paused.
“我会在车里告诉你的。如果…”我停了下来。
“Okay, then.” I glared at him, and continued slowly. “Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that… someone… could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know — with a few exceptions.”
“好吧，那么。”我盯着他，慢慢地说着。“比方说，当然只是假设，那么…某个人…能知道别人心里在想什么，你知道的，读心——但总有几个例外。”
The waitress was back with two more Cokes. She sat them down without a word this time, and left again.
那个女招待又拿着两瓶可乐回来了。这次她放下东西，什么也没说，又离开了。
“Next,” he repeated.
“下一个。”他重复着。
“Next.”
“下一个。”
I started with the most undemanding. Or so I thought.
我开始用最简单的。或者我是这样想的。
“Well, go ahead,” he pushed, his voice still hard.
“好了，继续说。”他敦促着我，声音依然紧绷着。
“I do have a few questions, of course.”
“当然，我确实有几个问题要问。”
He looked down, folding his large hands together slowly on the table. His eyes flickered up at me from under his lashes, the hint of a smirk on his face.
他低下头，慢慢地把放在桌上的两只大手叠到一起。他的眼睛从睫毛下飞快地看了我一眼，脸上露出一丝坏笑。
“There are conditions?” He raised one eyebrow, his voice ominous.
“还有条件？”他挑起一侧眉头，声音里充满了不祥的预兆。
“But that’s the easiest one,” I objected.
“但这是最容易的一个。”我反对。
I took a sip.
我喝了一小口可乐。
“Why are you in Port Angeles?”
“为什么你会在天使港？”
I looked down, frustrated. I unrolled my silverware, picked up my fork, and carefully speared a ravioli. I put it in my mouth slowly, still looking down, chewing while I thought. The mushrooms were good. I swallowed and took another sip of Coke before I looked up.
我挫败地低下头。我拆开我的那套银餐具，拿出叉子，小心地戳起一个馄饨。我慢慢地把它放到嘴里，依然低着头，一边咀嚼一边思考着。蘑菇很好吃。我咽下去，又喝了一口可乐，这才抬起头来。
“Of course.”
“当然。”
“Yes, we were,” he agreed. “Shall we call you ‘Jane’?”
“好吧，我们确实是。”他赞同道。“我们可以称你为‘简’吗？”
“Just one exception,” he corrected, “hypothetically.”
“只有一个例外。”他更正道。“假设。”
“Hypothetically?” he asked.
“只是假设？”他问道。
“Sure.”
“当然。”
“Well, if… that someone…”
“好吧，如果…那个某人…”
He laughed at me, his eyes warm.
他冲我大笑起来，眼里盈满了暖意。
He smiled wryly. “Joe, then. If Joe had been paying attention, the timing wouldn’t have needed to be quite so exact.” He shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know.”
他挖苦地一笑。“乔，那么。如果乔有留心注意的话，时间也许就不需要掐得那么准了。”他摇了摇头，转着眼睛。“只有你才能在这么小的城镇里遇上麻烦。你知道，你可能打破了他们十年来的犯罪率统计数据。”
“Let’s call him ‘Joe,'” I suggested.
“让我们称他为‘乔’。”我提议道。
“All right, with one exception, then.” I was thrilled that he was playing along, but I tried to seem casual.
“好吧，只有一个例外，那么。”我对他的合作感到很震惊，但我力图表现得不经意些。
“We were speaking of a hypothetical case,” I reminded him frostily.
“我们正在谈一个假设的案例。”我冷淡地提醒他。
“How does that work? What are the limitations? How would… that someone… find someone else at exactly the right time? How would he know she was in trouble?” I wondered if my convoluted questions even made sense.
“这到底是怎么做到的？有没有限制条件？那个某人…怎么能够…在恰当的时间找到另一个人？他是怎么知道她陷入困境的？”我想知道自己这些费解的问题有没有意义。
“How did you know?” I asked, unable to curb my intensity. I realized I was leaning toward him again.
“你到底是怎么知道的？”我再也没法抑制住自己的情绪，问道。我意识到自己又在向他侧过身去了。
He seemed to be wavering, torn by some internal dilemma. His eyes locked with mine, and I guessed he was making the decision right then whether or not to simply tell me the truth.
他似乎动摇了，为心底的某个两难选择左右为难着。他的目光紧紧地锁住了我的双眼，我猜他正在抉择，是否要把真相告诉我。
“You can trust me, you know,” I murmured. I reached forward, without thinking, to touch his folded hands, but he slid them away minutely, and I pulled my hand back.
“你可以信任我，你知道的。”我低声说着。我向前伸出手，不假思索地，想要触碰他交叠着的双手，但他不着痕迹地把手移开了，我只好把手收回来。
His face turned cold, expressionless. “Unequivocally.”
他的脸立刻变得冷冰冰的，毫无表情。“毫无疑问。”
“I don’t know if I have a choice anymore.” His voice was almost a whisper. “I was wrong — you’re much more observant than I gave you credit for.”
“我不知道我还有没有别的选择。”他的声音几近耳语。“我错了――你比我所钦佩的还要善于观察。”
“I used to be.” He shook his head again. “I was wrong about you on one other thing, as well. You’re not a magnet for accidents — that’s not abroad enough classification. You are a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you.”
“我曾经是。”他又摇了摇头。“同样，在另一件事上我也错看你了。你不是一块吸引意外的吸铁石――这个定义太宽泛了。你简直是一块专吸灾难的吸铁石。如果方圆十英里内有任何危险物，它都一定会找到你的。”
“I thought you were always right.”
“我觉得你通常都是正确的。”
“And you put yourself into that category?” I guessed.
“那你把自己归进危险物里了？”我猜测着。
I stretched my hand across the table again — ignoring him when he pulled back slightly once more — to touch the back of his hand shyly with my fingertips. His skin was cold and hard, like a stone.
我又一次把手伸过桌子――无视他再次不着痕迹地把手拉回去的努力――羞怯地用指尖触到了他的手背。他的肌肤冰冷坚硬，好像石头一样。
I scowled, but nodded. He moved his hand out from under mine, placing both of his under the table. But he leaned toward me.
我皱起眉，但还是点了点头。他把手从我的指尖下移开，两只手都放到了桌子下。但他向我靠了过来。
“Did you ever think that maybe my number was up the first time, with the van, and that you’ve been interfering with fate?” I speculated, distracting myself.
“你有没有想过，也许第一次的时候我就应该气数已尽了，因为那辆货车，而你却改变了命运的走向？”我推测着，想要转移自己的注意力。
His face softened. “Let’s not try for three, agreed?”
他的表情柔和起来。“别让我们有机会试第三次，好吗？”
“Thank you.” My voice was fervent with gratitude. “That’s twice now.”
“谢谢。”我的声音里盈满了热切的感激之情。“这是第二次了。”
“I followed you to Port Angeles,” he admitted, speaking in a rush. “I’ve never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it’s much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that’s probably just because it’s you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes.” He paused. I wondered if it should bother me that he was following me; instead I felt a strange surge of pleasure. He stared, maybe wondering why my lips were curving into an involuntary smile.
“我一路跟着你到奥翔港。”他承认着，完全收不住话头。“在这之前我从没这样努力地保护过某个特定的人。而且这比我原本相信的还要困难重重。但也可能是因为你，才会这样困难。一般人就算在这里耗上一整天也不会遇上那么多的灾难。”他停了下来。我想知道他跟踪我会不会让我觉得困扰。但相反的，我却感到了一阵奇特的满足感。他注视着我，也许是在怀疑着为什么我的唇瓣会弯起来，情不自禁地微笑着。
“That wasn’t the first time,” he said, and his voice was hard to hear. I stared at him in amazement, but he was looking down. “Your number was up the first time I met you.”
“那不是第一次。”他说着，声音小得几乎听不见。我吃惊地看着他，他却低着头。“在我第一次遇见你的时候，你就在劫难逃了。”
He pressed his lips together, staring at me through narrowed eyes, deciding again. His eyes flashed down to my full plate, and then back tome.
他紧紧地闭着嘴唇，眯缝起眼睛注视着我，又开始踌躇了。他的眼睛飞快地掠过我依然满满当当的盘子，然后看向我。
“You remember?” he asked, his angel’s face grave.
“你还记得吗？”他问道，天使一样的容颜有些黯然。
I felt a spasm of fear at his words, and the abrupt memory of his violent black glare that first day… but the overwhelming sense of safety I felt in his presence stifled it. By the time he looked up to read my eyes, there was no trace of fear in them.
他的话让我感到一阵恐惧的，关于第一天的记忆生生闯入脑海：他狂暴的，黑色的眼睛怒视着…但是，当我意识到他在的时候，那股压倒性的安全感阻止了我不堪回首的回忆。这时候他抬起头来，看着我的眼睛，却发现我的眼里没有半点恐惧的痕迹。
“Yes, here I sit… because of you.” I paused. “Because somehow you knew how to find me today…?” I prompted.
“是啊，我还能坐在这里…是因为你。”我顿了顿。“是因为今天，不知怎的你知道怎么找到我…？”我催促着。
“And yet here you sit.” There was a trace of disbelief in his voice; he raised one eyebrow.
“你居然还敢坐在这里。”他的声音里有点难以置信的味道。他挑起一侧眉头。
“Yes.” I was calm.
“是的。”我非常平静。
“You eat, I’ll talk,” he bargained.
“你吃，我说。”他讨价还价道。
I quickly scooped up another ravioli and popped it in my mouth.
我飞快地舀起一个馄饨，放进嘴里。
“It’s harder than it should be — keeping track of you. Usually I can find someone very easily, once I’ve heard their mind before.” He looked at me anxiously, and I realized I had frozen. I made myself swallow, then stabbed another ravioli and tossed it in.
“这实际操作起来更困难些――我是说跟着你。通常我可以轻而易举地找到别人，即使我之前从未读过他们的心。”他担忧地看着我，我感觉到自己僵住了。我让自己吞咽了一下，然后戳起另一个馄饨，丢进嘴里。
“I was keeping tabs on Jessica, not carefully — like I said, only you could find trouble in Port Angeles — and at first I didn’t notice when you took off on your own. Then, when I realized that you weren’t with her anymore, I went looking for you at the bookstore I saw in her head. I could tell that you hadn’t gone in, and that you’d gone south… and I knew you would have to turn around soon. So I was just waiting for you, randomly searching through the thoughts of people on the street — to see if anyone had noticed you so I would know where you were. I had no reason to be worried… but I was strangely anxious…” He was lost in thought, staring past me, seeing things I couldn’t imagine.
“我一直监视着玛丽，但没太用心――就像我说的，只有你才会在奥翔港遇到麻烦――刚开始我没注意到你脱离了队伍，开始一个人闲逛。然后，当我意识到你没跟她在一起的时候，我赶到在她脑海里看到的那家书店找你。我敢说你根本就没进去，向南走了…我知道你很快就会掉头回来的。所以我只是等着你，随意地看着街道上的人的想法――看看有没有人注意到你，这样我就能知道你在哪里了。我没有理由担心的…但我奇怪地不安着…”他陷入了沉思，他的目光穿过我，看着我想象不出来的事物。
“Then what?” I whispered. He continued to stare over my head.
“然后怎么了？”我低声问道。他的视线越过我的头顶，继续说道。
“I heard what they were thinking,” he growled, his upper lip curlings lightly back over his teeth. “I saw your face in his mind.” He suddenly leaned forward, one elbow appearing on the table, his hand covering his eyes. The movement was so swift it startled me.
“我听到了他们在想什么。”他咆哮着，上唇微微卷曲起来，露出了牙齿。“我在他的脑海里看到了你的脸。”他忽然向前倾侧，一只胳膊出现在桌子上。他用手掌覆住了自己的眼睛。这个动作如此迅速，把我吓了一跳。
“I started to drive in circles, still… listening. The sun was finally setting, and I was about to get out and follow you on foot. And then –” He stopped, clenching his teeth together in sudden fury. He made an effort to calm himself.
“我开始兜着圈子，仍在…听着。太阳快要下山了，那样我就能下车徒步跟着你了。然后――”他停了下来，突如其来的狂怒让他咬紧了牙关。他竭力让自己冷静下来。
“It was very… hard — you can’t imagine how hard — for me to simply take you away, and leave them… alive.” His voice was muffled by his arm. “I could have let you go with Jessica and Angela, but I was afraid if you left me alone, I would go looking for them,” he admitted in a whisper.
“这实在很…艰难――你想象不到这对我来说有多难――只是把你带走，留下他们…的性命。”他的声音掩在了手臂之下。“我本来可以让你跟玛丽和赖利斯一起走的，但我担心如果你让我一个人待着，我会回去找他们。”他用几近耳语的声音承认道。
I sat quietly, dazed, my thoughts incoherent. My hands were folded in my lap, and I was leaning weakly against the back of the seat. He still had his face in his hand, and he was as still as if he’d been carved from the stone his skin resembled.
我静静地坐着，一片茫然，我的思绪完全混乱了。我把双手交叠在膝盖上，虚弱地靠着椅背。他依然把脸藏在手掌之下，一动不动，就好像他是由和他的肌肤相似的石头雕刻出来的一样。
Finally he looked up, his eyes seeking mine, full of his own questions.
最终，他抬起头，他的眼睛搜寻着我的视线，眼里充满了他的疑问。
“Are you ready to go home?” he asked.
“你准备好回家了吗？”他问道。
“I’m ready to leave,” I qualified, overly grateful that we had the hour-long ride home together. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him.
“我准备好离开了。”我更正道，因为我们将要一起度过开车回家的那一小时而过度兴奋着。我还没准备好跟他说再见。
The waitress appeared as if she’d been called. Or watching.
那个女招待出现了，就好像她被召唤了一样。或者她根本就一直在看着。
“How are we doing?” she asked Edward.
“有什么能为您效劳的吗？”她问爱德华。
“We’re ready for the check, thank you.” His voice was quiet, rougher, still reflecting the strain of our conversation. It seemed to muddle her.
“我们准备结账，谢谢。”他的声音静静的，却有些粗暴，依然反映着我们谈话的气氛。这似乎让她困惑了。
He looked up, waiting.
他抬起头，等待着。
He walked close beside me to the door, still careful not to touch me. I remembered what Jessica had said about her relationship with Mike, how they were almost to the first-kiss stage. I sighed. Edward seemed to hear me, and he looked down curiously. I looked at the sidewalk, grateful that he didn’t seem to be able to know what I was thinking.
他跟在我身后向门口走去，依然小心翼翼地不让自己碰到我。我想起了玛丽说的她和杰克的关系，他们已经快到初吻阶段了。我叹了口气。爱德华似乎听见了，他好奇地低下头看我。我注视着人行道，对他似乎不能知道我的想法感到欣慰。
‘S… sure,” she stuttered. “Here you go.” She pulled a small leather folder from the front pocket of her black apron and handed it to him.
“好――好的。”她结结巴巴地说。“这是您的账单。”她从黑色围裙前面的口袋里拿出一个小小的皮夹子，递给他。
She smiled invitingly at him again. “You have a nice evening.”
她又一次向他充满魅力的一笑。“祝你晚上过得愉快。”
There was a bill in his hand already. He slipped it into the folder and handed it right back to her.
他手里已经拿着一张钞票了。他把它夹进夹子里，立刻递还给她。
“No change.” He smiled. Then he stood up, and I scrambled awkwardly to my feet.
“不用找了。”他微笑着，然后站了起来。我笨拙地站了起来。
He opened the passenger door, holding it for me as I stepped in, shutting it softly behind me. I watched him walk around the front of the car, amazed, yet again, by how graceful he was. I probably should have been used to that by now — but I wasn’t. I had a feeling Edward wasn’t the kind of person anyone got used to.
他打开了乘客座的门，当我上车的时候他扶住门，然后在我身后轻轻地把门关上了。我看着他从车前走过，又一次惊讶于他惊人的优雅。也许我从现在开始就得习惯这一点了――但我还习惯。我有种感觉，爱德华不是那种能让人习以为常的人。
He didn’t look away from me as he thanked her. I suppressed a smile.
当他感谢她的时候，他的目光根本没从我身上移开。我强忍着没笑出来。
It had gotten very cold, and I guessed the good weather was at an end. I was warm in his jacket, though, breathing in the scent of it when I thought he couldn’t see.
现在变得很冷了，我猜想好天气已经到头了。但是，穿着他的夹克让我很温暖，趁他不注意的时候我总是偷偷地嗅着衣服上的香气。
Once inside the car, he started the engine and turned the heater on high.
一坐进车里，他就发动了引擎，把暖气开到最大。
Edward pulled out through the traffic, apparently without a glance, flipping around to head toward the freeway.
爱德华把车开进车流里，显然看都没看，就娴熟地转弯向高速公路开去。
“Now,” he said significantly, “it’s your turn.”
“现在，”他意味深长地说道。“轮到你了。”
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