I’d never really been afraid of heights per se, but being able to see all the details with such clarity made the prospect less appealing. The angles of the rocks below were sharper than I would have imagined them.
以前我并不是真的恐高，但是能清晰的看到所有的细节让我的期待打了折扣。楼下石头的棱角比我想象中还要锋利。
Edward smiled. “It’s the most convenient exit. If you’re frightened, I can carry you.”
爱德华微笑着，“从窗户出去是最方便的。如果你怕的话，我可以抱着你。”
“We have all eternity, and you’re worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?”
“我们有这样漫长无尽的一生，而你居然担心从后门出去会浪费时间？”
Right. I was the monster now. I had to keep away from scents that might trigger my wild side. From the people that I loved in particular. Even the ones I didn’t really know yet.
是的，我现在是个怪物了。我不得不避免任何可能触发我兽性一面的气味。特别是从我深爱的人身上散发出来的，就算我并不是真的认识她。
“Is Renesmee… okay… with Jacob there?” I whispered. I realized belatedly that it must have been Jacob’s heart I’d heard below. I listened hard again, but I could only hear the one steady pulse. “He doesn’t like her much.”
“那……蕾妮斯梅……和雅各布……在一起没问题吗？”我犹疑的问着，迟钝的意识到刚才楼下的心跳声原来是雅各布的。我再次仔细的听着，不过只能听见一串平稳的脉搏。“他不喜欢她吧。”
Edward’s lips tightened in an odd way. “Trust me, she is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking.”
爱德华奇怪的抿着嘴，“相信我，她现在非常安全。我了解雅各布的所有想法。”
“The window?” I asked, staring two stories down.
“窗户吗？”我问，眼睛从三楼望下去。
He frowned slightly. “Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs…”
他的眉毛纠结了一下：“蕾妮斯梅和雅各布都在楼下……”
“Oh.”
“噢。”
“A little. I don’t know how…”
“一点点。我不知道怎样……”
“Stalling?” he challenged.
“还要等等？”他有点挑衅的问。
“Of course,” I murmured, and looked at the ground again.
“当然……”我撇了撇嘴，再次望着地面。
Also, this dress — that Alice must have put me in sometime when I was too lost in the burning to notice — was not what I would have picked out for either jumping or hunting. Tightly fitted ice-blue silk? What did she think I would need it for? Was there a cocktail party later?
还有，当我受体内火焰煎熬失去知觉的时候爱丽丝给我穿的裙子——肯定不是我会在运动或打猎的时候穿的。刚好合身的冰蓝色真丝裙？她以为我待会儿要干嘛？鸡尾酒会？
And I was very conscious of my family behind me, watching silently. Mostly silently. Emmett had already chuckled under his breath once. One mistake, and he’d be rolling on the floor. Then the jokes about the world’s only clumsy vampire would start…
我知道我的家人们都在我身后等着，安静的看着，至少大部分是安静的。埃美特肯定已经准备好要大笑了。只要我犯一个错，他肯定马上躺到地上滚来滚去的，关于世界上最笨手笨脚的吸血鬼的笑话就会开始了。
I watched carefully, analyzing the angle at which he bent his knees to absorb the impact. The sound of his landing was very low — a muted thud that could have been a door softly closed, or a book gently laid on a table.
我仔细的观察着，分析着他怎样弯曲膝盖来抵消落地的冲击力。他落地时的声音非常小——低沉的砰地一声，就像轻轻的关门或慢慢的把书放在桌上的声音。
Clenching my teeth as I concentrated, I tried to copy his casual step into empty air.
我咬着牙集中精神，想和他一样随意的踏进空气里。
It didn’t look hard.
好像并不困难。
“Watch me,” Edward said. And then, very casually, he stepped out of the tall, open window and fell.
“跟着我。”爱德华说。然后随意的向外迈了一步，从打开的窗口落下。
I absorbed the impact in the balls of my feet, not wanting to snap off the thin heels. My landing seemed just as quiet as his. I grinned at him.
我一心一意的注意着对脚掌的冲击力，不想折断那细小的高跟。我的落地看上去跟他的一样安静。我冲他笑了笑。
“Yes?”
“嗯？”
“Right. Easy.”
“很好，非常简单嘛。”
Ha! The ground seemed to move toward me so slowly that it was nothing at all to place my feet — what shoes had Alice put me in? Stilettos? She’d lost her mind — to place my silly shoes exactly right so that landing was no different than stepping one foot forward on a flat surface.
哇！地面非常缓慢的靠近我，但我找不到落脚的地方——爱丽丝到底给我穿了什么鞋啊？细高跟？她一定是疯了——穿着这白痴鞋子，我小心的降落，就像原来在平地上迈出的一步一样。
He smiled back. “Bella?”
他回了我一个微笑，“贝拉？”
“That was quite graceful — even for a vampire.”
“即便是对吸血鬼来说，这也非常优雅哦。”
“Thank you,” I told him.
“我能跟上你。”我告诉他。
I considered that for a moment, and then I beamed. If he’d just been saying that, then Emmett would have laughed. No one found his remark humorous, so it must have been true. It was the first time anyone had ever applied the word graceful to me in my entire life… or, well, existence anyway.
我想了一会儿，眉开眼笑。如果刚才他不是这么说，那埃美特肯定早就笑出来了。没人发现过他深藏的小幽默，所以这应该是真的喽。在我整个人生中，这是第一次有人把优雅这个词用在我身上啊。还是……不管了，反正他已经说出口了。
And then I hooked the silver satin shoes off my feet one by one and lobbed them together back through the open window. A little too hard, maybe, but I heard someone catch them before they could damage the paneling.
然后，我把脚上银色的缎带鞋一只一只的脱下来，把他们系在一起扔到楼上打开的窗户里面。可能有点太用力了，但是我听见有人接住它们了，在打坏天花板之前。
I pursed my lips, considering. The river was about fifty yards wide here.
我撅起嘴，想了想。在这里，这条河有50码宽。
Edward took my hand — I couldn’t stop marveling at the smoothness, the comfortable temperature of his skin — and darted through the backyard to the edge of the river. I went along with him effortlessly.
爱德华握住我的手——我无法停止为这柔滑的皮肤、舒适的体温所惊讶——然后拉着我冲出后花园，来到河边。我毫不费力的就能跟上他。
“Show-off,” I muttered, and heard his invisible laugh.
“就是爱炫耀，”我嘟哝着，树林里传来他的笑声。
Everything physical seemed very simple.
只要是身体上的运动都变得非常简单。
“Are we swimming?” I asked him when we stopped beside the water.
“我们游过去吗？”我问他，当我们停在河边的时候。
Alice grumbled, “Her fashion sense hasn’t improved as much as her balance.”
爱丽丝呻吟道，“她的时尚感一点都没有像她的平衡感那样提高。”
He touched my cheek, took two quick backward strides, and then ran back those two steps, launching himself from a flat stone firmly embedded in the riverbank. I studied the flash of movement as he arced over the water, finally turning a somersault just before he disappeared into the thick trees on the other side of the river.
他摸了摸我的脸颊，向后迈了两大步，然后向前猛的冲了两步，从一块平坦坚硬深植在河岸里的石头上起跳。我学习着这一系列动作，随着他划过一条漂亮的弧线，翻了个筋斗，然后消失在河那边茂密的树丛中。
“You first,” I said.
“你先跳。”我说。
“And ruin your pretty dress? No. We’re jumping.”
“然后毁了你那条可爱的裙子？当然不是，我们跳过去。”
I backed up five paces, just in case, and took a deep breath.
我向后退了五步，以防万一，深吸了口气。
Suddenly, I was anxious again. Not about falling or getting hurt — I was more worried about the forest getting hurt.
突然间，我又怕起来。并不是害怕掉进河里还是受伤——我更担心那边的树林会受到伤害。
Hoping very much that Esme was not particularly fond of any specific trees across the river, I began my first stride. And then stopped when the tight satin split six inches up my thigh. Alice!
暗自祈祷埃斯梅对河边的树木没什么特别的偏好，但我刚迈出第一步就不得不停下来，发觉自己大腿边的真丝裙子已经裂开了六英寸。爱丽丝！
Much better.
这下好多了。
I could hear the muffled laughter in the house, and even the sound of someone gritting her teeth. The laughter came from upstairs and down, and I very easily recognized the much different, rough, throaty chuckle from the first floor.
我能听见屋子那边隐约传来的笑声，和某人咬牙切齿的声音。楼上楼下都有，但我毫不费力的就能认出一楼那与众不同的粗哑的低笑。
It had come on slowly, but I could feel it now — the raw, massive strength thrilling in my limbs. I was suddenly sure that if I wanted to tunnel under the river, to claw or beat my way straight through the bedrock, it wouldn’t take me very long. The objects around me — the trees, the shrubs, the rocks… the house — had all begun to look very fragile.
虽然来得比较慢，但是我还是能感觉到——那新生的、强大的的力量，蕴含在我四肢里。我想，就算我突发奇想的想用爪子在河床下钻个隧道过去，也不会浪费很多时间——所有的树木、地上的灌丛、石头……房子——对我来说都像易碎品一样。
Well, Alice always seemed to treat clothes as if they were disposable and meant for one — time usage, so she shouldn’t mind this. I bent to carefully grasp the hem at the undamaged right seam between my fingers and, exerting the tiniest amount of pressure possible, I ripped the dress open to the top of my thigh. Then I fixed the other side to match.
不过还好，反正对于爱丽丝来说衣服都是随时可弃的一次性物品，她应该不会在意吧。弯下腰小心翼翼的把没事的那边裙子也撕开，打了各结，再把另一边也作了同样处理。
I didn’t turn to look at him now, wary of my mood swings. It wouldn’t be good to let any emotion take too strong a hold on my frame of mind. Jasper’s fears had me on edge, too. I had to hunt before I dealt with anything else. I tried to forget everything else so I could concentrate.
我没有转过身看他，怕我的情绪会不受控制。相信让任何强烈的情感夺去我思维的控制权都不是件好事。贾斯帕的担忧让我也变得谨慎起来。在处理其他任何事情之前，我得先去打猎。于是我努力让自己忘记其它所有事，好集中精力。
So Jacob was watching, too? I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking now, or what he was still doing here. I’d envisioned our reunion — if he could ever forgive me — taking place far in the future, when I was more stable, and time had healed the wounds I’d inflicted in his heart.
啊，雅各布也在看吗？简直不敢想象他现在在想什么，还有为什么他还在这里。以前，我曾在脑海中幻想过我们的团聚——如果他能原谅我的话——在更远的未来，当我变得稳定能控制自己，而那时，时间也治好了我带给他的伤害。
“Bella?” Edward called from the woods, his voice moving closer. “Do you want to watch again?”
“贝拉？”爱德华在树林里喊，声音越来越近。“你想再看一遍吗？”
Unhindered by my skirt, it took only one long bound to reach the water’s edge. Just an eighty-fourth of a second, and yet it was plenty of time — my eyes and my mind moved so quickly that one step was enough.
没了衣服的阻挡，我跨了一步就到达水边。只用了五分之一秒，也已经不短了——眼睛和思维飞快的运动着，告诉我一步就已足够。
But I remembered everything perfectly, of course, and I didn’t want to give Emmett a reason to find more humor in my education. This was physical — it should be instinctive. So I took a deep breath and ran for the river.
可我记得所有的细节，而且更重要的是，我才不想给埃美特又一次在我学习的时候找乐子的机会。既然是身体上的动作，那就应该是靠本能就可以完成的。于是我深吸了一口气，然后冲向河岸。
It was a strange, giddy, electrifying thing, but a short thing. An entire second had yet to pass, and I was across.
有点奇妙，有点让人晕眩、又有点震惊，还很短暂，一秒钟以后，我就到了。
It was simple to position my right foot just so against the flat stone and exert the adequate pressure to send my body wheeling up into the air. I was paying more attention to aim than force, and I erred on the amount of power necessary — but at least I didn’t err on the side that would have gotten me wet. The fifty yard width was slightly too easy a distance…
我的右脚迈上那块平坦的石头，轻轻一踏就获得足够多的反作用力，比需要的更多——不过从避免自己变落汤鸡这方面来说，也没什么错。五十码真的是太轻松的距离了……
It was fabulous.
太难以置信了。
Over the sound of my peals of delighted laughter, I could hear Edward racing to find me. My jump had been twice as long as his. When he reached my tree, his eyes were wide. I leaped nimbly from the branch to his side, soundlessly landing again on the balls of my feet.
伴随着自己钟声般开心的笑声，我能听见爱德华正向这边跑来，我跳的有他两倍远。当他来到我的树下，他的眼睛睁得大大的，我敏捷的从树枝上跳到他身边。脚掌无声的落地。
I was expecting the close-packed trees to be a problem, but they were surprisingly helpful. It was a simple matter to reach out with one sure hand as I fell back toward the earth again deep inside the forest and catch myself on a convenient branch; I swung lightly from the limb and landed on my toes, still fifteen feet from the ground on the wide bough of a Sitka spruce.
本来以为那茂密的树林会是个麻烦，让我惊讶的是它们却很有帮助。当我准备落地的时候，随便抓住一枝树桠就停下来了。吊在这棵西卡云杉的树枝荡了两下，然后翻身站在上面。
“Very good.” He smiled approvingly, but his casual tone didn’t match the surprised expression in his eyes.
“很不错。”他赞赏的微笑着，即使面部表情很悠闲，但他惊讶的眼神出卖了他。
I could finally understand why Edward never hit the trees when he ran — a question that had always been a mystery to me. It was a peculiar sensation, the balance between the speed and the clarity. For, while I rocketed over, under, and through the thick jade maze at a rate that should have reduced everything around me to a streaky green blur, I could plainly see each tiny leaf on all the small branches of every insignificant shrub that I passed.
现在终于明白为什么Edward跑步的时候从来不怕会撞到树上——以前这对我来说一直是解不开的迷。这就像有一个特殊的第六感，在平衡着速度和视觉。为什么说是视觉呢？当我像火箭般在这被浓雾笼罩的迷宫中穿行时，所有周围的事物照理来说在我眼里都应该变成一片条纹一样的绿色光带，但我却能清晰明了的看到任何一棵树最小的枝桠上的绿芽。
“Oh, right.” I nodded. “Hunting.”
“噢，是的，”我点点头：“在打猎。”
“Was that good?” I wondered, my breathing accelerated with excitement.
“我做的不错吧？”太想知道了，因为期待连呼吸都加快了。
“Can we do it again?”
“我们能再试一次吗？”
“Follow me… if you can.” He grinned, his expression suddenly taunting, and broke into a run.
“跟着我……如果你做得到的话。”他坏笑着，有点嘲弄的意思，然后突然起步。
He was faster than me. I couldn’t imagine how he moved his legs with such blinding speed, but it was beyond me. However, I was stronger, and every stride of mine matched the length of three of his. And so I flew with him through the living green web, by his side, not following at all. As I ran, I couldn’t help laughing quietly at the thrill of it; the laughter neither slowed me nor upset my focus.
他的步伐比我快多了，简直无法想象他怎么能把手臂甩到连我都看不清的速度，远远超过我的能力范围。然而，我却比他要强壮一些，每步都有他三步长。就这样，我紧紧的跟着他穿过这片绿色的树海。当我奔跑的时候，那种痛快的感受让我不能自已的绽放着笑容。这无声的微笑既没有减慢我的速度，更别说分散我的注意力。
“Focus, Bella — we’re on a hunting trip.”
“别分心，贝拉。我们正在打猎呢。”
The forest was much more alive than I’d ever known — small creatures whose existence I’d never guessed at teemed in the leaves around me. They all grew silent after we passed, their breath quickening in fear. The animals had a much wiser reaction to our scent than humans seemed to. Certainly, it’d had the opposite effect on me.
森林像活过来了一样——各种细小的生物成堆成堆的生活在四周的每片树叶下。在我们经过的后，它们都变得沉默了，因为恐惧而呼吸加速。相对于人类来说，动物们似乎对我们的气味更加敏感。当然，这对我来说没有什么好处。
The wind of my speed blew my hair and my torn dress out behind me, and, though I knew it shouldn’t, it felt warm against my skin. Just as the rough forest floor shouldn’t feel like velvet beneath my bare soles, and the limbs that whipped against my skin shouldn’t feel like caressing feathers.
凉风吹起了我的头发，让裙裾在我身后飞扬，当它流过我的肌肤时我觉得是那么违背常理的温暖，森林粗糙的地面似乎不应该像天鹅绒般铺垫在我赤裸的脚下，更别说树叶锋利的边缘像羽毛般轻抚着我的肌肤。
I kept waiting to feel winded, but my breath came effortlessly. I waited for the burn to begin in my muscles, but my strength only seemed to increase as I grew accustomed to my stride. My leaping bounds stretched longer, and soon he was trying to keep up with me. I laughed again, exultant, when I heard him falling behind. My naked feet touched the ground so infrequently now it felt more like flying than running.
我一直等着自己喘气，但呼吸却一直毫不费力；一直等着自己的肌肉开始灼烧酸痛，但随着我更习惯于这样的步伐，力量只是愈加增强。而我的步子越迈越大，很快爱德华不得不开始追赶我了。当听见他落到我后面，我又笑起来为此雀跃不已。赤着的脚很久才在地上踏一步，比起跑步让我觉得自己更像在飞翔似的。
“Bella,” he called dryly, his voice even, lazy. I could hear nothing else; he had stopped. I briefly considered mutiny.
“贝拉。”他干巴巴的喊了声，声音甚至变得慵懒，除了他的声音我什么都听不到，最后他停了下来。我脑中滑过一丝叛逆的念头，想继续跑下去。
“Did you want to stay in the country?” he asked, amused. “Or were you planning to continue on to Canada this afternoon?”
“你想就暂时留在国内呢？”他开着玩笑，“还是说你计划着继续前进，今天下午就到加拿大去呢？”
But I wasn’t going to argue; I was too thirsty. As soon as I’d started to think about the dry burn in my throat, it was all I could think about. Definitely getting worse. My mouth felt like four o’clock on a June afternoon in Death Valley.
但我不想吵架，太渴了。我一想到干渴燃烧的喉咙，它就占据我全部的思绪。绝对是越来越糟糕了，我的口干得就像六月下午的死亡大峡谷。
But, with a sigh, I whirled and skipped lightly to his side, some hundred yards back. I looked at him expectantly. He was smiling, with one eyebrow raised. He was so beautiful that I could only stare.
但是，我还是叹了口气，转身轻轻的跳到他身边，我们已经有几百码远了。我疑惑的望着他，他抬起一边眉毛微笑着，那么的美丽让我无法移开眼神。
“This is fine,” I agreed, concentrating less on what he was saying and more on the mesmerizing way his lips moved when he spoke. It was hard not to become sidetracked with everything fresh in my strong new eyes. “What are we hunting?”
“在这里就好，”我同意了，终于从他的声音中解脱出来却又被他说话时嘴唇的动作所迷惑。不被自己敏锐的新眼睛看见的任何东西分心，是挺难的一件事。“我们准备猎什么呢？”
“Elk. I thought something easy for your first time…” He trailed off when my eyes narrowed at the word easy.
“麋鹿。我想这是你的初猎，还是先从简单的开始吧……”他越说越小声，特别是发现在我听到‘简单’这个词后，瞳孔都收缩了一下时。
“Hold still for a minute,” he said, putting his hands lightly on my shoulders. The urgency of my thirst receded momentarily at his touch.
“站在这里等一下，”他说，轻轻的抓住我的双肩。当他的手碰到我的身体的时候，干渴似乎暂时褪去了。
“Listen,” Edward instructed. “What do you hear?”
“仔细听，”爱德华教导着：“听见什么了吗？”
“Where?” I asked, scanning the trees impatiently. Now that I had given the thirst my attention, it seemed to taint every other thought in my head, leaking into the more pleasant thoughts of running and Edward’s lips and kissing and… scorching thirst. I couldn’t get away from it.
“在哪里？”我问，不耐烦的扫视着森林，试图忘记这种干渴，但是它似乎感染了我脑子里所有的思想，我试着去想开心的事，奔跑还有爱德华的嘴唇，爱德华的吻，还有……灼热的干渴。我就是不能摆脱它。
Everything, I could have said; his perfect voice, his breath, his lips brushing together as he spoke, the whisper of birds preening their feathers in the treetops, their fluttering heartbeats, the maple leaves scraping together, the faint clicking of ants following each other in a long line up the bark of the nearest tree. But I knew he meant something specific, so I let my ears range outward, seeking something different than the small hum of life that surrounded me. There was an open space near us — the wind had a different sound across the exposed grass — and a small creek, with a rocky bed. And there, near the noise of the water, was the splash of lapping tongues, the loud thudding of heavy hearts, pumping thick streams of blood…
一切，我本来想说。他完美的声音，他的呼吸，他说话时嘴唇的张合，树上小鸟整理羽毛时的低语，它们飞快的心跳声，风吹过枫叶沙沙的声音，蚂蚁排队经过时的踏步声。但我知道他指的是一种特别的声音，所以我尽量伸长耳朵，聆听着更遥远的地方，寻找着比四周细小生命的忙忙碌碌更特别的东西。离我们不远有处空地——当风吹过草丛时发出一种不同的声音——还有在水里布满石头的小溪边，在水流的哗哗声旁，我听见了某种动物的舌头拍打着水面，还有那低沉有力的心脏加速着血液流动……
“Now close your eyes,” he murmured. When I obeyed, he raised his hands to my face, stroking my cheekbones. I felt my breathing speed and waited briefly again for the blush that wouldn’t come.
“现在闭上眼睛，”他低声说。当我遵从后，他双手捧着我的头，轻轻的抚摸着我的脸颊。我的呼吸马上加速了，徒劳的等待着脸红的到来。
“By the creek, to the northeast?” I asked, my eyes still shut.
“在小溪的旁边，向着东北方？”我问道，仍然紧闭着双眼。
“Yes.” His tone was approving. “Now… wait for the breeze again and… what do you smell?”
“没错。”他肯定道，“现在……等着再次起风后……你能闻到什么吗？”
It felt like the sides of my throat had sucked closed.
就像我的喉咙曾经品尝过这美味。
Mostly him — his strange honey-lilac-and-sun perfume. But also the rich, earthy smell of rot and moss, the resin in the evergreens, the warm, almost nutty aroma of the small rodents cowering beneath the tree roots. And then, reaching out again, the clean smell of the water, which was surprisingly unappealing despite my thirst. I focused toward the water and found the scent that must have gone with the lapping noise and the pounding heart. Another warm smell, rich and tangy, stronger than the others. And yet nearly as unappealing as the brook. I wrinkled my nose.
大部分是他的气味——他身上奇特的蜂蜜、丁香花和阳光的香水味。还能闻到浓厚的苔藓和腐质土，树上的松脂，温暖的带点坚果味的小松鼠在树上颤抖。接着，延伸到远处，河水干净的气味，对我居然没有一点吸引力。越过河流，我发现一种绝对是由有力的心跳声带来的香味。又是一种温暖的气味，清晰但刺鼻，比其他味道都要强烈。但还是跟河水一样没有吸引力。我皱了下鼻子。
“Five. There are two more in the trees behind them.”
“五只。有两只藏在树后面。”
He chuckled. “I know — it takes some getting used to.”
他吃吃的笑起来：“我知道——得花时间习惯它。”
“What do I do now?”
“我现在应该怎么做？”
“Three?” I guessed.
“三只？”我猜。
I thought about that, my eyes still shut as I listened and breathed in the scent. Another bout of baking thirst intruded on my awareness, and suddenly the warm, tangy odor wasn’t quite so objectionable. At least it would be something hot and wet in my desiccated mouth. My eyes snapped open.
我思考了一会儿，眼睛一直没睁开，边呼吸着空气中的香气。又一阵强烈的渴望向我袭来，忽然之间，那带点温度的，刺鼻的臭味变得不是那么难以忍受了，至少它在我口渴的嘴里会是湿热的。我的眼睛猛然睁开。
His voice sounded like he was smiling. “What do you feel like doing?”
他似乎还在笑，“你觉得应该做什么？”
But as my muscles bunched in preparation, the wind shifted, blowing stronger now, and from the south. I didn’t stop to think, hurtling out of the trees in a path perpendicular to my original plan, scaring the elk into the forest, racing after a new fragrance so attractive that there wasn’t a choice. It was compulsory.
但当我的肌肉拱起做好了准备的时候，风向突然变了，变得更猛，从南边吹来。我想都没想就放弃了原来的计划，脱离了我和雄鹿之间那条笔直的路线，当然把它吓跑了。身体不受控制的奔向那处新的充满诱惑的芬芳。
“Don’t think about it,” he suggested as he lifted his hands off my face and took a step back. “Just follow your instincts.”
“不要去思考，”他后退了一步放开我同时建议道，“只要跟着你的本能就好。”
I let myself drift with the scent, barely aware of my movement as I ghosted down the incline to the narrow meadow where the stream flowed. My body shifted forward automatically into a low crouch as I hesitated at the fern-fringed edge of the trees. I could see a big buck, two dozen antler points crowning his head, at the stream’s edge, and the shadow-spotted shapes of the four others heading eastward into forest at a leisurely pace.
我让自己跟随着这气味，以肉眼无法察觉的鬼一样的动作在狭窄的草地上伏下身。身体自动调整成紧贴地面的前倾状蹲伏状，在树下的草丛旁犹豫着。我能看到那的一只健壮的雄鹿，两只鹿角如同王冠般竖立在它头上，小溪旁，四只梅花鹿朝着东边悠闲的漫步。
I centered myself around the scent of the male, the hot spot in his shaggy neck where the warmth pulsed strongest. Only thirty yards — two or three bounds — between us. I tensed myself for the first leap.
我走到那雄鹿散发的香气的中间，仿佛可以看到毛发蓬松的颈子下面脉搏强有力的鼓点。只有30码了——在我们之间只有两三步的距离——我绷紧身体准备着第一步跳跃。
The scent ruled completely. I was single-minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst and the smell that promised to quench it. The thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts and began to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins.
那香味告诉我可口食物就在前方，我一门心思的追着它而去，脑海里面只有自己的渴望，而那气味告诉我它一定能解决这干渴。它变得更剧烈了，这么的疼痛占据了我所有的思维让我想起血管里燃烧的毒液。
There was only one thing that had any chance of penetrating my focus now, an instinct more powerful, more basic than the need to quench the fire — it was the instinct to protect myself from danger. Self-preservation.
现在只有一件事能让我分心，比解决干渴更原始更强烈的本能——保护自己的本能。自卫！
And then I could hear my pursuer gaining, and defense won. As I spun, the rising sound ripped its way up my throat and out.
当我听见那追逐者靠近后，自卫马上就获胜了。当我转过身，恐怖的尖叫从我喉咙里撕扯着吼出。
The feral snarl, coming from my own mouth, was so unexpected that it brought me up short. It unsettled me, and it cleared my head for a second — the thirst-driven haze receded, though the thirst burned on.
我发出的是凶猛的野兽的嘶吼，那么出乎我的意料，让我楞了一下。暂时让我的脑子一片空白——干渴稍微变得模糊褪去，虽然喉咙还在燃烧。
I was suddenly alert to the fact that I was being followed. The pull of the irresistible scent warred with the impulse to turn and defend my hunt. A bubble of sound built in my chest, my lips pulled back of their own accord to expose my teeth in warning. My feet slowed, the need to protect my back struggling against the desire to quench my thirst.
我突然发觉自己被人跟踪了。让人无法抵抗的香气和回头防卫我的狩猎，两者在脑海里交战。胸腔里发出一串打雷般的嘶吼声，咧开嘴露出自己的尖牙警告着来客。我的脚步放慢了，在保护自己后背的需要和解决自己干渴的渴望之间挣扎。
I realized that I had been about to attack him. With a hard jerk, I straightened out of my defensive crouch. I held my breath as I refocused, fearing the power of the fragrance swirling up from the south.
我意识到自己刚才居然想攻击他，身体猛地伸直，从蹲伏防卫的姿势中站起来。我屏住呼吸重新夺回注意力，害怕再次被南边传来的气味所刺激。
Shock crossed his face. “Can you leave?”
他的脸上布满震惊：“你能离开？”
The wind shifted, blowing the smell of wet earth and coming rain across my face, further freeing me from the other scent’s fiery grip — a scent so delicious it could only be human.
风向又变了，带着潮湿的土壤的气味和点星雨水吹向我的脸庞，把我从刚才那香气的绝对控制中解脱开。我知道，那样美味的香气只可能是人类。
I didn’t have time to ask him what he meant by that. I knew the ability to think clearly would last only as long as I could stop myself from thinking of —
我没时间问他这是什么意思，我知道自己清醒的时间不会很长——一旦想起——
He could see reason return to my face, and he took a step toward me, lowering his arms.
当看到理智重新回到我脸上后，他跑过来，手慢慢放下。
I burst into a run again, a flat-out sprint straight north, concentrating solely on the uncomfortable feeling of sensory deprivation that seemed to be my body’s only response to the lack of air. My one goal was to run far enough away that the scent behind me would be completely lost. Impossible to find, even if I changed my mind…
我突然跑起来，直直的向北方冲去，让自己的注意力集中到停止呼吸后那奇怪的“窒息”的感受上。唯一的目标就是快点逃开，逃到那香味传不到的地方。但即便现在已经清醒过来，我发现这还是难以忍受……
Edward hesitated a few feet away, his arms raised as if to embrace me — or restrain me. His face was intent and cautious as I froze, horrified.
爱德华在几英尺外徘徊，手微微伸开像是要过来拥抱我，——还是说想制止我？当我僵在地上，满脸惊恐的时候，他一直谨慎的注视着我。
“I have to get away from here,” I spit through my teeth, using the breath I had.
“我必须得离开这里，”我咬着牙说，还是不敢呼吸。
Edward blew past me, surprised by my sudden freeze. He wheeled around and was at my side in a second. He put his hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes, shock still the dominant emotion on his face.
爱德华像风一样经过我，奇怪着我为什么要突然停下来。过了一会儿，调头回到我身边。他双手抓住我的肩膀低头凝视着我，还是一脸震惊的表情。
A new thought occurred to me, and I stopped dead, my feet planted. I was sure it must be safe here, but I held my breath just in case.
一个新念头的产生让我停下脚步，脚像种在地上一样无法移动。我能确信这里是安全的，但以防万一还是不敢呼吸。
“You let me beat you before, didn’t you?” I demanded back, ignoring his question. And I’d thought I’d been doing so well!
“刚才你想让我攻击你，是不是？”我质问，没管他的问题。那之前我居然还自以为做的不错！
“How did you do that?” he demanded.
“你到底是怎么做到的？”他询问着。
Once again, I was aware of being followed, but I was sane this time. I fought the instinct to breathe — to use the flavors in the air to be sure it was Edward. I didn’t have to fight long; though I was running faster than I ever had before, shooting like a comet through the straightest path I could find in the trees; Edward caught up with me after a short minute.
再一次，我注意到自己被人跟着，但这次我是清醒的。我强迫自己不去呼吸，告诉自己这只是爱德华。好在不需要很长时间，我从来没跑过这么快，像彗星划过天空一样我在树木间找到最短的那条直路。爱德华几分钟后赶上了我。
When I opened my mouth, I could taste the air — it was unpolluted now, with no trace of the compelling perfume to torment my thirst. I took a cautious breath.
当我张开嘴，能尝出来——现在空气是干净的，没有任何会让我发狂的味道，我小心的吸了一口气。
“Of course you did. That’s only natural. But I can’t understand how you ran away.”
“你当然会这么做。这只是天性。但我还是不明白你这么能从那逃开。”
“When you came up behind me… I’m so sorry about that.”
“当你跟在我后面的时候……对刚才的一切我真的很抱歉。”
He stopped at once, and I could see he was wary again.
他停下来，然后又变得有点担心。
He startled me, suddenly bursting into a spasm of loud laughter, throwing his head back and letting the sound echo off the trees.
他变得更惊讶了，突然爆发出一阵巨大的笑声，前俯后仰让声音在树林见回旋。
Keep it under control, I thought to myself. I had to watch my temper. Just like I was a young werewolf rather than a vampire.
控制好自己，我对自己说，不得不小心顾着自己的脾气。比起吸血鬼倒更像个刚变身的狼人。
“Why are you apologizing to me? I’m the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! You have nothing to apologize for.”
“为什么你要道歉？我才是那个犯了大错的人。我本来以为没有人能这么深入森林，但不管怎么说我应该先检查清楚。如此愚蠢的错误！你不用为任何事道歉。”
“But I growled at you!” I was still horrified that I was physically capable of such blasphemy.
“但我对你咆哮了！”我还是很后怕，自己居然完全被本能所控做了这么亵渎神明的事。
“Run away? I held my breath.”
“逃开？我屏住了呼吸。”
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“干嘛嘲笑我？”
“What else could I do?” I asked. His attitude confused me — what did he want to have happened? “It might have been someone I know!”
“我还能做什么？”我问。被他的惊讶迷惑了——他以为会发生什么？“刚才那个可能是我认识的人啊！”
“But how did you stop hunting?”
“但你怎么能停下一次打猎呢？”
He shrugged and shook his head, refusing to be deflected. “Bella, how did you do it?”
他耸了耸肩，不可置否的摇摇头，拒绝被转移话题，“贝拉，告诉我，你怎么做到的？”
“I’m not laughing at you, Bella. I’m laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed.”
“我不是嘲笑你，贝拉。我笑是因为太震惊了，而之所以震惊是因为我完全搞不明白。”
“Oh.” But I’d known it was going to be hard. That was why I’d been so on guard. I’d been expecting it to be difficult.
“噢。”但我已经知道这会很困难了，这也是为什么我现在会这么小心的原因。
“You shouldn’t be able to do any of this. You shouldn’t be so… so rational. You shouldn’t be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should not have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that — we’re always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you’re behaving like you’re decades rather than days old.”
“照理来说，你应该不能做到这些。你应该不会这么……理智。你本不应该站在这里如此沉着和冷静的和我讨论这些。而最离奇的是，从你在捕猎途中闻到人类的鲜血开始，你就应该不会有任何其他念头了。即使是成熟的吸血鬼想做到这些都很困难——当我们打猎的时候我们都会万分谨慎的选择地点，好让自己远离人类的诱惑。贝拉，你表现的就像是一个十岁的吸血鬼，而不是几天大。”
“Why?”
“为什么？”
He put his hands on my face again, and his eyes were full of wonder. “What wouldn’t I give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment.”
他又把手轻轻的放在我的脸颊上，眼里满是探究。“现在我多想听听你脑子里在想些什么啊。”
Such powerful emotions. I’d been prepared for the thirst part, but not this. I’d been so sure it wouldn’t be the same when he touched me. Well, truthfully, it wasn’t the same.
一阵强烈的情绪突然袭来。虽然我对干渴的感觉做好了心理准备，但对这却完全没有。当他碰触到我的时候，我知道两者间的区别有多大。美好的，满怀信任的，完全不一样。
I reached up to trace the planes of his face; my fingers lingered on his lips.
我伸手抚摸着他光洁的脸，让手指在他唇上徘徊。
It was stronger.
这要强烈得多。
He blinked in shock. “How can you even concentrate on that? Aren’t you unbearably thirsty?”
他诧异的眨了眨眼，“你现在居然还能想着这？难道你现在不是渴得无法忍受吗？”
“I thought I wouldn’t feel this way for a long time?” My uncertainty made the words a question. “But I still want you.”
“我以为有很长一段时间自己都不会有这样的感觉？”我迟疑的问着，“但是，我还是很想要你。”
Edward dropped his hands, not even breathing while I listened farther and farther out into the web of green life, sifting through the scents and sounds for something not totally repellant to my thirst. There was a hint of something different, a faint trail to the east…
爱德华放下手，连呼吸都屏住了，我的听觉向着周围扩展延伸到绿海的深处，从中筛选出我的喉咙不那么排斥的味道。我似乎发现一点不同的迹象，从东边传来微弱的香气。
Of course I was now, now that he’d brought it up again!
我当然是，他的提醒让它又回来了！
I tried to swallow and then sighed, closing my eyes like I had before to help me concentrate. I let my senses range out around me, tensed this time in case of another onslaught of the delicious taboo scent.
我吞了吞口水然后叹了口气。向上次那样闭上眼睛集中精神。感受着四周的情况，防止又从哪里传来那可口的禁忌的香气。
My eyes flashed open, but my focus was still on sharper senses as I turned and darted silently eastward. The ground sloped steeply upward almost at once, and I ran in a hunting crouch, close to the ground, taking to the trees when that was easier. I sensed rather than heard Edward with me, flowing quietly through the woods, letting me lead.
眼睛突然睁开，注意力还是集中在锐利的感觉上，转身猛地向东边冲去。地面突然变得倾斜陡峭，我用狩猎时的蹲伏姿势奔跑着，发现爬到树上再前进似乎要简单些。然后我感觉到爱德华跑到前面去了，于是我安静的跟着，遵从他的指引。
The vegetation thinned as we climbed higher; the scent of pitch and resin grew more powerful, as did the trail I followed — it was a warm scent, sharper than the smell of the elk and more appealing. A few seconds more and I could hear the muted padding of immense feet, so much subtler than the crunch of hooves. The sound was up — in the branches rather than on the ground. Automatically I darted into the boughs as well, gaining the strategic higher position, halfway up a towering silver fir.
当我们越爬越高后，植物变得稀疏起来。松香的味道变强烈了，我跟着气味的指引前进着——那种温暖的气味，比雄鹿的味道更强烈也更具有诱惑力。几秒后，我听见了一个大脚掌走路时才能发出的低哑的声音，比蹄子落地时哒哒的声音要小的多。那声音慢慢升高像是在爬树而不是在地上。我马上冲到更高的枝桠上，站在塔般的银杉的半腰处，从而获得战略上的制高点。
The soft thud of paws continued stealthily beneath me now; the rich scent was very close. My eyes pinpointed the movement linked with the sound, and I saw the tawny hide of the great cat slinking along the wide branch of a spruce just down and to the left of my perch. He was big — easily four times my mass. His eyes were intent on the ground beneath; the cat hunted, too. I caught the smell of something smaller, bland next to the aroma of my prey, cowering in brush below the tree. The lion’s tail twitched spasmodically as he prepared to spring.
那柔软的脚掌落地时发出的响声还在下面，但那强烈的气味离我很近了。我的眼睛紧紧的跟随着这声音的每一次移动，看见一只黄褐色的山狮小心翼翼的在我左边不远的云杉上移动。它体型非常大有我的四倍重，眼睛正盯着它身下的地面，原来它也在捕猎。接着我闻到我可爱的捕猎者旁边那微弱的颤抖的小动物的气味。山狮的尾巴抬起直立着，它准备扑过去了。
With a light bound, I sailed through the air and landed on the lion’s branch. He felt the shiver of the wood and whirled, shrieking surprise and defiance. He clawed the space between us, his eyes bright with fury. Half-crazed with thirst, I ignored the exposed fangs and the hooked claws and launched myself at him, knocking us both to the forest floor.
轻轻一跳，我在空气中飘过落在刚才山狮等候时的树枝上。它马上感觉到树枝的抖动，飞快的转过头，发出惊讶的警告和威胁的尖叫声。他用爪子刨了下地，眼睛里满是愤怒，但我被那干渴的感觉刺激的半疯，完全忽略了它暴露在空气中的牙齿和尖锐的爪子，扑向它，把我们俩都撞倒在林地上。
It was effortless as biting into butter. My teeth were steel razors; they cut through the fur and fat and sinews like they weren’t there.
根本毫不费力，跟咬奶油没什么区别。我的牙齿就像是最锐利的剃刀，它们丝毫没有阻挡的穿过皮毛、脂肪层和肌肉。
It wasn’t much of a fight.
这根本就不能称之为搏斗了。
His raking claws could have been caressing fingers for all the impact they had on my skin. His teeth could find no purchase against my shoulder or my throat. His weight was nothing. My teeth unerringly sought his throat, and his instinctive resistance was pitifully feeble against my strength. My jaws locked easily over the precise point where the heat flow concentrated.
它尖锐的爪子狠狠的抓向我，我却只像被挠了一下；牙齿在我的肩膀和喉咙上找不到下嘴之处；庞大的身躯像是没有重量一样。我的牙齿准确无误的咬向它的喉咙，而它本能的挣扎在我的力量下毫无作用。我的下巴紧紧的锁定在它鲜血流淌的中心。
The flavor was wrong, but the blood was hot and wet and it soothed the ragged, itching thirst as I drank in an eager rush. The cat’s struggles grew more and more feeble, and his screams choked off with a gurgle. The warmth of the blood radiated throughout my whole body, heating even my fingertips and toes.
虽然味道有点不对劲，但鲜血湿热的味道总是不错的，缓解了我喉咙里干渴之痒，因此我还是大口大口的吮吸着。山狮的挣扎越来越弱了，它的尖叫慢慢被血液流出的汩汩声所代替。鲜血的温暖在我的全身流淌，让我连脚趾和手指尖都暖和起来。
I wrenched myself erect in one quick move. Standing, I realized I was a bit of a mess. I wiped my face off on the back of my arm and tried to fix the dress. The claws that had been so ineffectual against my skin had had more success with the thin satin.
我从地上站起来，意识到自己有点混乱。边用手背拼命的擦着嘴唇，边整理着裙子。虽然山狮的爪子对我的皮肤毫无作用，但显然它在我的裙子上还是取得了胜利。
“You did perfectly fine,” he assured me. “It’s just that… it was much more difficult for me to watch than it should have been.”
“你已经做的很完美了，”他赞扬道：“我只是……嗯……束手看着你打猎比我想象中困难多了。”
I raised my eyebrows, confused.
我疑惑的抬了抬眉毛。
The lion was finished before I was. The thirst flared again when he ran dry, and I shoved his carcass off my body in disgust. How could I still be thirsty after all that?
我喝完之前山狮就已经死了，当它变干之后干渴又复燃起来，我厌恶的把它的尸体从身上推开。为什么还是那么口渴呢？
“I guess I could have done that better.” I was covered in dirt, my hair knotted, my dress bloodstained and hanging in tatters. Edward didn’t come home from hunting trips looking like this.
“我猜我应该能做的更好的。”看看我现在的样子，满脸尘埃，头发打结，裙子上布满血污还被撕成一条条。我印象中，爱德华打猎后从来都不曾如此的狼狈。
“It goes against the grain,” he explained, “letting you wrestle with lions. I was having an anxiety attack the whole time.”
“跟原来的情况完全相反，”他解释道：“让你自己跟山狮搏斗，我很担心，刚才一直很担心想插手。”
“Hmm,” Edward said. I looked up to see him leaning casually against a tree trunk, watching me with a thoughtful look on his face.
“嗯……”爱德华说，我抬头看见他悠闲的靠着一颗大树，若有所思的望着我。
If I could have blushed, I would have. I changed the subject. “Why am I still thirsty?”
如果不是变成吸血鬼，我现在一定满脸通红，马上转移话题：“为什么我还是很渴啊？”
I sighed. “And I don’t suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby.”
我叹了叹气，“我想附近肯定不会再有什么山狮了。”
“Because you’re young.”
“因为你太年轻。”
“Not that much like humans,” I disagreed, trying not to remember.
“也不是太像啊，”我反对道，尽量不去想起之前……
“Herbivores. The meat-eaters smell more like humans,” he explained.
“食草动物。肉食动物闻起来更像人类。”他解释着。
“Plenty of deer, though.”
“还有很多鹿，倒是。”
I made a face. “They don’t smell as good.”
我做了个鬼脸，“它们闻起来不太好。”
“Silly.”
“傻瓜。”
“We could go back,” he said solemnly, but there was a teasing light in his eye. “Whoever it was out there, if they were men, they probably wouldn’t even mind death if you were the one delivering it.” His gaze ran over my ravaged dress again. “In fact, they would think they were already dead and gone to heaven the moment they saw you.”
“其实我们调头回去，”他严肃的说，眼中却闪现一丝考验的目光：“不管在那里的是谁，只要是男人，如果死亡是由你送去的话，我相信，他可能根本不会在意，”他的眼睛扫过我那破碎的丝绸裙：“事实上，当他们第一眼看到你的时候，可能就以为自己已经来到天堂了。”
“I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though.”
“我知道。旧习惯总是很难改。不过，我倒很喜欢你裙子现在的样子哦。”
I rolled my eyes and snorted. “Let’s go hunt some stinking herbivores.”
我翻了个白眼，撇嘴道：“走吧，我们去猎那恶心的食草动物。”
We found a large herd of mule deer as we ran back toward home. He hunted with me this time, now that I’d gotten the hang of it. I brought down a large buck, making nearly as much of a mess as I had with the lion. He’d finished with two before I was done with the first, not a hair ruffled, not a spot on his white shirt. We chased the scattered and terrified herd, but instead of feeding again, this time I watched carefully to see how he was able to hunt so neatly.
在回家的路上我们发现一大群长耳鹿，这次他跟我一起，现在我已经知道该怎么做了。我打下一只硕大的雄鹿，但跟山狮那次一样我又把自己搞得乱七八糟的。在我还没搞定这只雄鹿的时候，爱德华已经喝完两只了，一丝头发都没有弄乱，白衬衫上更是没有一点污垢。我们追赶着恐慌的鹿群，这次我没有再喝，而是仔细观察着他是如何优雅的狩猎的。
He was very quick. He turned to me and gazed curiously at my gloating expression.
他很快就吃完了，转身面对着我，好奇的凝视着我那得意洋洋的表情。
Of course, it was much different from this perspective, as a vampire myself. But I doubted that even my human eyes would have missed the beauty here.
当然啦，现在透过吸血鬼的视角来看就完全不同了。不过我很怀疑即使让我用人类的眼睛来看，我也不想错过这美景。
All the times that I had wished that Edward would not have to leave me behind when he hunted, I had secretly been just a little relieved. Because I was sure that seeing this would be frightening. Horrifying. That seeing him hunt would finally make him look like a vampire to me.
现在，我很庆幸当自己还是人类的时候并没有看见爱德华打猎的样子，虽然当时我一直希望他带上我而不要把我留下，但是现在我可以肯定这情景还是太吓人，太恐怖了，因为看过他打猎会让我意识到他真的是一个吸血鬼。
It was a surprisingly sensual experience to observe Edward hunting. His smooth spring was like the sinuous strike of a snake; his hands were so sure, so strong, so completely inescapable; his full lips were perfect as they parted gracefully over his gleaming teeth. He was glorious. I felt a sudden jolt of both pride and desire. He was mine. Nothing could ever separate him from me now. I was too strong to be torn from his side.
观看爱德华的捕猎真是一场令人难忘的感官盛宴。他平稳的跳跃像蛇捕食时一样蜿蜒流畅；他的双手是那么确定，那么强壮，任何猎物都完全无法从中逃脱；他饱满的双唇完美的覆盖在闪光的牙齿上。他简直就像国王一样荣耀显赫。在我的内心两种感觉油然而生，既骄傲又渴望。他是我的！现在任何事物都无法把我们分开，而且我也变得强壮不会被他的不经意所伤。
“No longer thirsty?” he asked.
“不渴了吗？”他问。
I shrugged. “You distracted me. You’re much better at it than I am.”
我耸耸肩，“你让我分心了，而且显然比我擅长得多。”
He laughed. “Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?”
他扑哧笑了出来，“今天就够了吗？还要继续不？”
“Done, I think.” I felt very full, sort of sloshy, even. I wasn’t sure how much more liquid would fit into my body. But the burn in my throat was only muted. Then again, I’d known that thirst was just an inescapable part of this life.
“够了，我想。”觉得自己很饱了，甚至想就这样瘫在地上。我不确定未来我的身体到底会喝下多少这样的液体，但是现在我的喉咙已经不再火辣辣的疼了。再一次，现实告诉我这干渴会是我未来生命无法逃避的一部分。
And worth it.
但是它值得。
“Just one,” I corrected him.
“一个而已。”我纠正道。
“Centuries of practice.” He smiled. His eyes were a disconcertingly lovely shade of honey gold now.
“几个世纪的练习。”他微笑着，眼睛已经变成无比吸引人的可爱金色。
He held out his hand to me. I took it, and his skin felt warmer than before. His cheek was faintly flushed, the shadows under his eyes all but vanished.
他向我伸出手，握住了，感觉他的皮肤比原来要温暖一些，他脸上布满兴奋，眼底的黑影也全部消失无踪。
I felt in control. Perhaps my sense of security was false, but I did feel pretty good about not killing anyone today. If I could resist totally human strangers, wouldn’t I be able to handle the werewolf and a half-vampire child that I loved?
我觉得自己已经完全清醒了，可能我的安全感有什么问题，但我真的觉得不用杀人真好。假设我能成功抵御住一个陌生人的诱惑，那我也许就可以和我爱的狼人以及半吸血鬼宝宝和平相处？
“I want to see Renesmee,” I said. Now that my thirst was tamed (if nothing close to erased), my earlier worries were hard to forget. I wanted to reconcile the stranger who was my daughter with the creature I’d loved three days ago. It was so odd, so wrong not to have her inside me still. Abruptly, I felt empty and uneasy.
“我想见蕾妮斯梅，”我说。现在我已经不觉得渴了（只要没人来招惹它），而且我一直不能忘记先前的担心，想调解我陌生的女儿和我爱着的那个生物之间的矛盾。女儿已经不在我身体里这个事实到现在还是让我觉得很奇怪，很不对劲。突然，让我觉得非常空虚和心神不安。
I sort of forgot that I was waiting for a response to my request as I stared into his shimmering gold eyes.
我又一次忘记自己正望着他金色的眼睛等着他的回答。
I was unable to resist stroking his face again. And again.
我又一次无法控制的抚摸着他的脸。
It was almost as hard as it had been to turn away from the scent of human blood, but I somehow kept the need to be careful firmly in my head as I stretched up on my toes and wrapped my arms around him. Gently.
这几乎跟从人血的香味中逃离一样困难，但我不知怎么就是牢牢的记得自己要做什么——我踮起脚跟伸出双手轻轻的环抱着他。
Like before, it was as if the touch of his skin, his lips, his hands, was sinking right through my smooth, hard skin and into my new bones. To the very core of my body. I hadn’t imagined that I could love him more than I had.
就像以前那样，来自他的皮肤，他的嘴唇，他的双手的触摸渗透进我光滑坚硬的表皮深深的烙印在我新生的骨头上，直至身体的最深处。我从来没想过自己可以比原来更爱他。
My old mind hadn’t been capable of holding this much love. My old heart had not been strong enough to bear it.
以前我的思想并不能很好的领会这深沉的爱，以前我的身体也不够强壮到足以承担这厚重的爱。
He was not so hesitant in his movements; his arms locked around my waist and pulled me tight against his body. His lips crushed down on mine, but they felt soft. My lips no longer shaped themselves around his; they held their own.
他再也不像原来那样小心翼翼了，他的手臂环抱着我的腰把我紧紧的抱在怀中。嘴唇狠狠的压在我的上面——它们还是那样柔软。在他的亲吻下，我的双唇不再保持原来的形状，而深深的回吻他。
Maybe this was the part of me that I’d brought forward to be intensified in my new life. Like Carlisle’s compassion and Esme’s devotion. I would probably never be able to do anything interesting or special like Edward, Alice, and Jasper could do. Maybe I would just love Edward more than anyone in the history of the world had ever loved anyone else.
可能这强化过的身体就是我的异能了，就像卡莱尔天生的怜悯，埃斯梅对爱的奉献一样。我可能永远都不能拥有那些可爱的特别的能力，像爱德华、爱丽丝和贾斯帕的能力那样。可能我所能做的只是永远的爱着爱德华，比时间长河里的任何人都爱他，比全世界的人都爱他。
I could live with that.
这是我生存的依赖。
I remembered parts of this — twisting my fingers in his hair, tracing the planes of his chest — but other parts were so new. He was new. It was an entirely different experience with Edward kissing me so fearlessly, so forcefully. I responded to his intensity, and then suddenly we were falling.
我记得这诺言——我的手指插在他的头发里，紧贴着他的胸膛——但我还发现更多新的东西。他是新的。以前他从来没有这样吻过我，那么激烈，那么用力。我热烈的回应着他，然后我们突然跌倒了。
I could tell that he wasn’t exactly averse to procrastinating our return trip, and it was hard to think about much besides his skin on mine — there really wasn’t that much left of the dress. But my memory of Renesmee, before and after her birth, was becoming more and more dreamlike to me. More unlikely. All my memories of her were human memories; an aura of artificiality clung to them. Nothing seemed real that I hadn’t seen with these eyes, touched with these hands.
我敢肯定他并不反对推迟我们的回程，而且躺在他身上想思考什么都非常困难——而且我的裙子现在真的不剩什么了。但我对蕾妮斯梅的记忆，无论是她出生以前还是以后，都变得越来越像梦一样，越来越模糊。我对她所有的记忆都是人类的记忆，蒙着一层细纱。只要我现在的双眼没看见她，双手没触碰到她，她都不像是真实的。
He stroked my face. “Slightly better than okay.” And then a perplexed expression crossed his face. “Renesmee?” he asked uncertainly, trying to ascertain what I wanted most in this moment. A very difficult question to answer, because I wanted so many things at the same time.
他摸摸我的脸，“比还好要更好一点。”然后脸上浮现出一丝困惑的表情。“蕾妮斯梅？”他迟疑的叫道，想知道我现在最想要什么。非常难以回答，因为我有那么多想要的东西。
Every minute, the reality of that little stranger slipped further away.
每分每秒，这小小的陌生人的真实感都像在褪去。
“Oops,” I said, and he laughed underneath me. “I didn’t mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?”
“哎呦，”我叫了一句，他垫在我身下低笑，“我不是故意绊倒你的，你还好吗？”
“Renesmee,” I agreed, rueful, and I whipped back up onto my feet, pulling him with me.
“蕾妮斯梅，”我同意了，可怜兮兮的，然后迅速爬起来站好，把他也拉了起来。
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