The woman at the store
女店主
All that day the heat was terrible. The wind blew close to the ground, lifting the white dust from the road and driving it into our faces. The horses moved wearily, half-blinded by the dust. The pack-horse was sick—with a big sore place on her back. She kept stopping, looking too tired to go on. Hundreds of birds screamed high overhead. There was nothing to see except mile after mile of coarse grass, with the occasional purple flower or grey-green bush.
那天一整天都热得可怕。风贴着地面吹，卷起路上的白尘，直扑到我们脸上。马匹疲惫地走着，被尘土迷得几乎睁不开眼。驮马病了——背上有一大块溃烂的伤处。它不停地停下来，看上去累得再也走不动了。成百上千只鸟在头顶高空尖叫。放眼望去，除了绵延数英里的粗草，偶尔点缀着几朵紫花或灰绿色的灌木丛外，什么也没有。
Jo rode ahead. He wore a blue shirt and a white handkerchief round his neck, with a red pattern that looked like bloodstains on it. For once, he was not singing, ‘I don’t care, for don’t you see, My wife’s mother was in front of me!’ He had sung it every day for a month; now we felt lost without it.
乔骑在前面。他穿着蓝衬衫，脖子上系着一条白手帕，上面的红色花纹看起来像血迹。这一次，他没有唱那首歌：“我不在乎，难道你没看见，我岳母就在我前面！”这首歌他每天都唱，已经唱了一个月；现在听不到歌声，我们反而觉得心里空落落的。
Jim rode beside me, white-faced. He kept licking his dry lips. We had not spoken much since dawn.
吉姆骑在我旁边，脸色苍白。他不停地舔着干燥的嘴唇。从天亮到现在，我们没怎么说过话。
‘My stomach needs some real food inside it,’ said Jo. ‘Now, Jim, where’s this store you keep talking about? You say you know a fine store with a paddock for the horses, and a creek, and a friend of yours waiting there with a bottle of whisky to share. I’d like to see that place, I really would…’
“我的肚子急需点正经食物填填，”乔说，“喂，吉姆，你老念叨的那个商店到底在哪儿？你说你知道一家很棒的店，有供马匹吃草的围场，有小溪，还有个朋友带着瓶威士忌在那儿等着跟咱们分享。我真想去看看那个地方，真的想……”
Jim laughed. ‘Don’t forget, Jo, there’s a woman, too, with blue eyes and yellow hair, and something else to share with you. Don’t forget that!’
吉姆笑了。“别忘了，乔，那儿还有个女人，蓝眼睛黄头发，还有别的好东西跟你分享呢。可别忘了这个！”
‘The heat’s making you crazy,’ said Jo. We rode on. I fell half asleep, and dreamed that I was back home with my mother. I woke up to find that we were arriving somewhere.
“这鬼天气把你热疯了，”乔说。我们继续骑行。我迷迷糊糊睡着了，梦见自己回到了母亲身边。醒来时，发现我们已经到了一个地方。
We were on a hill, and below us there was a building with an iron roof. It stood in a garden; there was a paddock, a creek and some trees. Smoke rose from the chimney, and as I looked, a woman came out, followed by a child and a yellow sheep dog.
我们在一个小山丘上，山下有一座铁皮屋顶的房子。房子坐落在一个园子里，周围有围场、小溪和几棵树。烟囱里冒着烟，正当我望着的时候，一个女人走了出来，后面跟着一个孩子和一只黄色的牧羊犬。
The horses found a final burst of speed, and Jo began singing, ‘I don’t care, for don’t you see… ‘
马儿们突然迸发出最后的一股劲头加速跑起来，乔又开始唱道：“我不在乎，难道你没看见……”
The sun came through the clouds and shone on the woman’s yellow hair and on the gun she was carrying. The child hid behind her, as we got off our horses, and the yellow dog ran into the building.
阳光穿透云层，照在女人的黄发和她手中的枪上。当我们下马时，孩子躲到了她身后，那只黄狗则跑进了屋里。
‘Hallo!’ screamed the woman. ‘The kid said there were three brown things coming over the hill. I ran out quick, I can tell you, to see what it was.’
“喂！”女人尖叫道，“这孩子说有三个棕色的东西正翻过山头过来。我跟你说，我赶紧跑出来看看到底是什么。”
‘Where’s your old man?’ asked Jim.
“你家男人呢？”吉姆问。
The woman looked away, frowning. ‘Gone shearing. Been away a month. You going to stop here? There’s a storm coming.’
女人皱着眉看向别处。“去剪羊毛了。走了一个月了。你们要在这儿歇脚吗？暴风雨快来了。”
‘Of course we are,’ said Jo. ‘So you’re on your own, are you?’
“当然要歇，”乔说，“这么说，就你一个人在家喽？”
She stood, looking from one to the other of us, like a hungry bird. I smiled to myself at the way the men had joked about her. Certainly she had blue eyes and yellow hair, but she was so ugly! Her hands were rough and red, and her stick-like legs were pushed into a pair of dirty old boots.
她站在那里，目光在我们几个人之间来回打量，活像一只饥饿的鸟。想到男人们之前拿她开的玩笑，我不禁暗自好笑。她确实有着蓝眼睛和黄头发，但长得实在太丑了！她的手粗糙发红，那双像枯枝一样的腿塞在一双脏兮兮的旧靴子里。
‘I’ll put the horses in the paddock,’ said Jim. ‘Got any horse medicine? One of them’s got a sore back.’
“我去把马牵进围场，”吉姆说，“有治马的药吗？有一匹马背受伤了。”
‘Wait a second.’ The woman breathed deeply. Then she shouted violently, ‘You can’t stop here! You’ve got to go. I’ve got nothing for you! ‘
“等一下。”女人深吸了一口气，然后猛地吼道，“你们不能在这儿歇！必须马上走。我这儿没什么能给你们的！”
‘God help us!’ said Jo heavily. He pulled me to one side. ‘Gone crazy,’ he said. ‘On her own too much, if you know what I mean. Show some sympathy, and she’ll change her mind.’
“老天保佑！”乔沉重地说。他把我拉到一边。“她疯了，”他说，“一个人待太久就这样，你懂的。表示点同情心，她就会改变主意的。”
But there was no need for sympathy. She changed her mind anyway. ‘Stay if you like,’ she said. Then she turned to me. ‘Come on—I’ll give you the medicine for the horse.’
不过根本不需要什么同情心。她自己就改变了主意。“想留就留下吧，”她说。然后转向我，“来吧——我给你拿马药。”
We went up the garden path. The yellow dog lay across the door, and she kicked it out of the way.
我们沿着花园小径走去。那只黄狗横躺在门口，被她一脚踢开了。
‘The place isn’t tidy. Had no time. Been ironing. Come in.’
“屋里不太整洁。没时间收拾。一直在熨衣服。进来吧。”
It was a large room. The walls were covered in pictures cut from magazines. There was a table, some broken chairs, a pile of clothes she had been ironing. A door led into the store; through another door I saw the bedroom.
那是个大房间。墙上贴满了从杂志上剪下来的图片。屋里有一张桌子、几把破椅子，还有一堆她刚熨过的衣服。一扇门通向商店；透过另一扇门，我看到了卧室。
She left me there and went into the store for the medicine. I could hear her talking to herself. ‘Now where did I put that bottle?’ Down in the paddock Jo was singing, while Jim put up the tent. The sun was going down. There are no long evenings in our New Zealand days; the sun goes down and half an hour later it’s night.
她把我留在那里，自己去商店拿药。我能听见她在自言自语：“我把那瓶子放哪儿了？”山下的围场里，乔在唱歌，吉姆在搭帐篷。太阳正在下山。在新西兰的日子里没有漫长的黄昏；太阳一落山，半小时后天就全黑了。
Sitting alone in that ugly room, I felt afraid. The woman was a long time. What was she doing in there? ‘What a life!’ I thought. ‘Imagine living here all alone with that child and that dog. Mad? Of course she’s mad! I wonder how long she’s been here—I wonder if she’ll talk to me.’
独自坐在那个丑陋的房间里，我感到一阵害怕。女人去了很久。她在里面干什么呢？“这叫什么日子啊！”我想，“想象一下，独自一人带着个孩子和条狗住在这里。疯了？她肯定是疯了！不知道她在这儿住了多久——也不知道她会不会跟我说话。”
‘What was it you wanted?’ she shouted from the store.
“你要什么来着？”她在商店里喊道。
‘Some medicine for the horse.’
“给马用的药。”
‘Oh, I forgot what I was looking for. I’ve got it now.’
“噢，我都忘了自己在找什么了。现在找到了。”
She came out and gave me a bottle.
她走出来递给我一个瓶子。
‘My, you look tired, you do. Shall I make you a few scones for supper? I’ve got some meat you can have, too.’
“天哪，你看上去真够累的。晚饭要不要给你们烤几个司康饼？我这儿还有些肉，也可以给你们吃。”
‘All right.’ I smiled at her. ‘Bring the kid down to the paddock and eat with us.’
“好啊。”我对她笑了笑，“带孩子去围场跟我们一起吃吧。”
‘Oh, no,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘I’ll send the kid down with the food and some milk. Want some scones to take with you tomorrow?’
“哦，不，”她摇着头说，“我会让孩子把饭菜和牛奶送下去。明天路上要不要带些司康饼？”
‘Thanks.’
“谢谢。”
She came and stood by the door.
她走过来站在门边。
‘How old is the kid?’ I asked.
“孩子多大了？”我问。
‘Six next Christmas. Had a lot of trouble with her. Always sick when she was a baby, she was.’
“下个圣诞节就六岁了。养她费了不少劲。她小时候老是生病。”
‘She doesn’t look much like you. Is she like her father?’ I asked.
“她长得不太像你。像她爸爸吗？”我问。
‘No!’ she shouted. ‘She’s like me. Any fool could see that!’
“不像！”她吼道，“她像我。傻瓜都能看出来！”
I went down to the paddock and gave Jim the medicine for the sick horse. Jo had washed. He was combing his wet hair, smiling to himself.
我走到围场，把药交给吉姆去治那匹病马。乔已经洗漱过了。他正梳着湿漉漉的头发，独自偷笑。
I went to the end of the paddock, past the trees, and washed in the creek. The water was clear and soft as oil. I lay in the water and looked up at the trees. The air smelled of rain.
我穿过树林来到围场尽头，在小溪里洗了个澡。溪水清澈，柔滑如油。我躺在水中仰望树木。空气中弥漫着雨的气息。
When I got back to the tent, Jim was lying by the fire. I asked him where Jo was.
回到帐篷时，吉姆正躺在火堆旁。我问他乔去哪儿了。
‘Didn’t you see how he’d cleaned himself up?’ said Jim. ‘He said to me before he went off to find her, “She isn’t much, but she’s a woman. She’ll look good enough in the dark!”‘
“你没看他把自己收拾得多干净吗？”吉姆说，“他去找她之前跟我说：‘她虽然长得不怎么样，但好歹是个女人。黑灯瞎火的看着也凑合！’”
‘You told us she was pretty,’ I said. ‘That wasn’t exactly true!’
“你之前还说她很漂亮，”我说，“这可一点都不属实！”
‘No, listen,’ Jim said. ‘I don’t understand what’s happened to her. I haven’t been here for four years. I used to know the husband well. A fine, big fellow. And she worked in bars on the West Coast—she was as pretty as a doll. Told me once she knew a hundred and twenty-five different ways of kissing!’
“唉，听着，”吉姆说，“我也不明白她怎么变成这样了。我有四年没来过这儿了。我以前跟她丈夫很熟，是个高大英俊的好汉子。她以前在西海岸的酒吧工作——那时漂亮得像个洋娃娃。她还跟我说过，她知道一百二十五种不同的接吻方式呢！”
‘Oh, Jim, she can’t be the same woman!’
“噢，吉姆，她不可能是同一个人吧！”
‘Of course she is. I can’t understand it. I think the old man’s gone off and left her. That’s just a lie about shearing!’
“当然是她。我也想不通。我觉得那男人肯定是抛下她跑了。什么剪羊毛，纯粹是撒谎！”
Through the dark we saw the kid coming towards us with a basket of food and some milk. I took them from her.
黑暗中，我们看到孩子提着一篮食物和一些牛奶朝我们走来。我从她手里接了过来。
‘Come here,’ Jim said to her.
“过来，”吉姆对她说。
She went to him. She was a tiny, thin kid, with white hair and weak, pale blue eyes.
她走到他跟前。这是个瘦小的孩子，长着白发和黯淡无神的浅蓝色眼睛。
‘What do you do all day?’ asked Jim.
“你整天都干些什么？”吉姆问。
She stuck one finger in her ear. ‘Draw.’
她把一根手指塞进耳朵里。“画画。”
‘What do you draw? Leave your ear alone!’
“画什么？别掏耳朵了！”
‘Pictures.’
“图画。”
‘What of? Cows and sheep?’
“画些什么？牛和羊吗？”
‘Everything. I’ll draw you when you’re gone, and your horses and the tent, and that one’ —she pointed at me— ‘with no clothes on in the creek. I saw her but she couldn’t see me.’
“什么都画。等你们走了，我要画你们，画你们的马和帐篷，还有那个人”——她指着我——“光着身子在小溪里洗澡的样子。我看见她了，可她没看见我。”
‘Thanks a lot. How nice of you,’ said Jim. ‘Where’s your Dad?’
“多谢了。你可真好，”吉姆说，“你爸爸在哪儿？”
‘I won’t tell you,’ the kid said. ‘I don’t like your face.’ She stuck a finger in the other ear.
“我不告诉你，”孩子说，“我不喜欢你的脸。”她又把一根手指塞进另一只耳朵里。
‘Here,’ I said. ‘Take the basket and go and tell the other man that supper’s ready.’
“拿着，”我说，“提着篮子去告诉那个人晚饭准备好了。”
She ran off and we started eating. We had finished before Jo arrived. He was very red-faced and cheerful, and he had a whisky bottle in his hand.
她跑开了，我们开始吃饭。还没等乔回来我们就吃完了。他满面红光，兴高采烈，手里还拿着一瓶威士忌。
‘Have a drink, you two,’ he shouted. ‘She wants us all to go and drink with her tonight.’ He waved one hand in the air. ‘We’re good friends, her and me.’
“喝两口吧，你们俩，”他嚷道，“她想让我们今晚都去陪她喝酒。”他在空中挥了挥手，“我和她现在可是好朋友了。”
‘I can believe that!’ laughed Jim. ‘But did she tell you where her old man’s gone?’
“这我倒信！”吉姆笑道，“但她告诉你她男人去哪儿了吗？”
Jo looked up. ‘Shearing,’ he said. ‘You heard her, you fool.’
乔抬起头。“剪羊毛去了，”他说，“你自己也听到了，笨蛋。”
The woman had tidied the room. She had even put flowers on the table, beside the oil lamp, the glasses and the whisky bottle. The kid was drawing on a piece of wrapping paper.
女人已经把房间收拾整齐了。她甚至在桌上摆了些花，就在油灯、酒杯和威士忌瓶旁边。孩子正在一张包装纸上画画。
The woman’s hair hung loose. Her face was pink and her eyes shone. She sat with her feet touching Jo’s under the table. In the hot room, with insects flying round the lamp, we all got slowly drunk.
女人的头发披散着。她面色红润，双眼发亮。坐在桌下，她的脚碰着乔的脚。在这闷热的房间里，飞虫绕着灯打转，我们都渐渐喝醉了。
The woman was shouting. ‘Six years I’ve been here,’ she told us, ‘and it’s broken me, living here. I told him, it’s broken me, taken away everything I had. Left me with this kid and nothing else. Trouble is,’ she went on, ‘he left me alone too much. He’d go off for weeks, leave me all alone here. He’d never stay long.’
女人大声嚷着。“我在这儿待了六年，”她对我们说，“住在这里简直把我整个人都毁了。我跟他说过的，这地方毁了我，夺走了我的一切。只给我留下这孩子，别的什么都没了。问题是，”她接着说，“他让我独处的时间太长了。他一出去就是好几个星期，把我一个人扔在这儿。他从不在家长待。”
‘Ma,’ said the kid, ‘I drew a picture of them on the hill, and you and me and the dog.’
“妈，”孩子说，“我画了一张他们在山上的画，还有你、我和狗。”
‘Shut your mouth!’ shouted the woman.
“闭嘴！”女人吼道。
Suddenly there was lightning, followed by the crash of thunder.
突然一道闪电划过，紧接着是一声惊雷。
‘Good thing the storm’s come,’ said Jo. ‘I’ve been feeling it in the air for days.’
“幸好暴风雨来了，”乔说，“这几天我就感觉空气里有这股劲儿。”
‘Where’s your old man now?’ asked Jim slowly.
“那你男人现在到底在哪儿？”吉姆慢悠悠地问。
Her head dropped forward onto the table. ‘He’s gone shearing and left me all alone again,’ she cried.
她的头垂到了桌子上。“他去剪羊毛了，又把我一个人孤零零地丢下，”她哭诉道。
‘Watch the glasses,’ said Jo. ‘Come on, have another drink. No use crying about it.’
“小心酒杯，”乔说，“来，再喝一杯。哭也没用。”
She dried her eyes and took the glass. ‘It’s a lonely life for a woman,’ she said. Jo took her hand.
她擦干眼泪，端起酒杯。“女人的日子真是寂寞啊，”她说。乔握住了她的手。
Every minute the lightning grew brighter and the thunder sounded nearer. I got up and went over to the kid, who immediately hid her drawings by sitting on them. ‘You’re not to look,’ she said.
闪电越来越亮，雷声也越来越近。我起身走到孩子身边，她立刻一屁股坐在画上藏了起来。“不许看，”她说。
‘Oh, come on, show us.’ Jim came over to us, and we were just drunk enough to joke and laugh the kid into showing us the pictures. They were extraordinary drawings for a child to do—clever, but very nasty. No doubt about it, the kid’s mind was diseased. While we looked at the pictures, she got madly excited, laughing and trembling all over.
“哎呀，别这样，给我们看看嘛。”吉姆走了过来，借着几分醉意，我们连哄带笑地逗孩子拿出了那些画。对一个孩子来说，这些画简直不可思议——画技巧妙，却令人毛骨悚然。毫无疑问，这孩子心理已经扭曲了。我们看画的时候，她变得异常兴奋，浑身颤抖着狂笑不止。
‘Ma!’ she screamed. ‘Now I’m going to draw what you told me I must never draw—now I’m going to!’
“妈！”她尖叫道，“我现在就要画你说绝对不能画的东西——我现在就要画！”
The woman rushed at her and hit her on the head.
女人冲过去打了她的头。
‘You’ll get worse than that if you dare say that again!’ she shouted.
“你再敢胡说八道，挨的揍比这还重！”她怒吼道。
Jo was too drunk to notice, but Jim caught the woman by the arm. The kid did not make a sound.
乔醉得太厉害没注意到，但吉姆一把抓住了女人的胳膊。孩子一声没吭。
We listened to the thunder. Then the rain began to fall, hitting the iron roof like bullets.
我们听着雷声。随后大雨倾盆而下，砸在铁皮屋顶上宛如子弹射击。
‘You’d better sleep here, not in the tent,’ said the woman.
“你们最好睡在屋里，别睡帐篷了，”女人说。
‘Good idea,’ said Jo quickly.
“好主意，”乔连忙附和。
‘Go and get your things from the tent. You two can sleep in the store with the kid. Mr Jo can have this room.’
“去帐篷把东西拿过来吧。你们俩带着孩子睡商店里。乔先生睡这间房。”
It sounded a crazy arrangement, but nobody said anything. Jim and I took a lantern and went down to the tent. We ran through the rain, laughing and shouting like two children who are having a wonderful adventure.
这安排听起来荒唐至极，但谁也没反对。吉姆和我提着灯笼下了山去帐篷。我们在雨中奔跑，像两个经历奇妙冒险的孩子一样又笑又叫。
When we came back, the kid was already in the store, lying on a blanket. Jo shouted, ‘Good night, all!’ We took a lamp and closed the door of the store.
回来时，孩子已经在商店里的一条毯子上躺下了。乔大喊：“大家晚安！”我们拿了一盏灯，关上了商店的门。
Jim and I sat down on two packing cases. We looked around at the bags of potatoes, the smoked meats hanging from the ceiling, the advertisements for coffee on the walls—and couldn’t stop laughing. The kid sat up and stared at us. We took no notice of her.
吉姆和我坐在两个包装箱上。环顾四周的土豆袋、天花板上挂着的熏肉、墙上的咖啡广告——我们笑得停不下来。孩子坐起身盯着我们看。我们根本没理她。
‘What are you laughing at?’ she said uneasily.
“你们笑什么？”她不安地问。
‘You!’ shouted Jim. ‘You, and this whole place, my child.’
“笑你！”吉姆嚷道，“笑你，还有这整个鬼地方，我的小祖宗。”
She screamed with anger and beat herself with her hands. ‘I won’t be laughed at, I won’t!’
她气得尖叫起来，用手拼命捶打自己。“我不许别人笑话我，不许！”
‘Go to sleep, Miss, or do some drawing,’ said Jim. ‘Look, here’s a pencil and a bit of paper.’
“睡觉去吧，大小姐，或者接着画画，”吉姆说，“瞧，给你铅笔和纸。”
Through the noise of the rain we heard Jo’s footsteps in the next room, then the sound of a door opening and closing.
透过哗哗的雨声，我们听见隔壁房间传来乔的脚步声，接着是开门又关门的声音。
‘It’s a lonely life for a woman,’ whispered Jim.
“女人的日子真是寂寞啊，”吉姆低声说。
‘A hundred and twenty-five different ways!’
“一百二十五种不同的方式！”
The kid threw the piece of paper at me. ‘There you are,’ she said. ‘I’ve done it because Ma shut me in here with you two. The thing she said I never ought to draw. I drew the one she said she’d shoot me if I did. I don’t care! I don’t care!’
孩子把那张纸朝我扔过来。“给你看吧，”她说，“就因为妈把我跟你们俩关在这儿，我才画的。这是她说我绝对不该画的东西。我画了她说过要是敢画就开枪打死我的那张画。我不在乎！我不在乎！”
The kid had drawn a picture of the woman shooting a man and then digging a hole to bury him in.
孩子画的画上是：一个女人开枪打死了一个男人，然后挖坑把他埋掉。
She threw herself to the floor, and rolled around, biting her fingers.
她扑倒在地板上，打着滚，咬着自己的手指。
Jim and I sat until dawn with the drawing beside us. The rain stopped, and the little kid fell asleep, breathing loudly. We got up and went down to the paddock. A cold wind was blowing—the air smelled of wet grass. Just as we got on to the horses, Jo came out of the building—he waved to us to ride on.
吉姆和我守着那张画一直坐到天亮。雨停了，小孩子也睡着了，呼吸声很重。我们起身走到围场。冷风吹拂着——空气中散发着湿草的气味。就在我们上马的时候，乔从屋里出来了——他挥手示意我们先走。
‘I’ll catch you up later!’ he shouted.
“我一会儿就追上你们！”他喊道。
A bend in the road, and the whole place disappeared.
道路拐过一个弯，那地方便彻底消失在视线之外了。
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