“Yeah, well… I just want to talk to you.”
“好吧我只是想和你谈谈。”
It was freezing cold outside, no pigeons in sight. But Sara insisted on an appointment. They had to meet by the bench in the park. When she said this, she meant the bench where they usually sat and enjoyed the sun in summer, talking about nothing and everything. Michael never complained, and he didn’t complain about the thick snow, or the fact that the cold wind blew so hard that he hardly could see anything in the background, and the long journey back from London still made him a bit feeble and dizzy. Sara said they had to meet. They had to meet by the bench at exactly seven P. M. She’s always punctual. When Michael arrived, Sara had already been there, like a ghost.
外面很冷，看不见鸽子。但萨拉坚持要预约。他们不得不在公园的长凳旁见面。当她这么说的时候，她指的是他们通常在夏天坐在那里享受阳光，无所事事地聊天的长凳。迈克尔从来没有抱怨过，也没有抱怨过厚厚的雪，也没有抱怨过冷风吹得太厉害，以至于他几乎看不见背景里的任何东西，从伦敦回来的长途旅行仍然使他感到有点虚弱和眩晕。莎拉说他们必须见面。他们必须在晚上七点整在长凳上见面。她总是很准时的。迈克尔到达的时候，萨拉已经在那里了，像个幽灵一样。
“Sara?” Michael said as strong winds started and blew away the snow, exposing the cement beneath.
“莎拉？”迈克尔说，这时起了大风，吹走了积雪，露出了下面的水泥。
With courtesy, she looked up at Michael and smiled. “Hi!”
出于礼貌，她抬头看着迈克尔，微笑着说：“嗨！”
She could talk by the phone, or invited him over to her apartment, or asked to meet in a cafeteria or somewhere. Somewhere more comfortable and warm than standing in the ankle deep snow under the blizzard in a park.
她可以通过电话交谈，或者邀请他去她的公寓，或者要求在自助餐厅或其他地方见面。在公园里找一个比站在暴风雪下齐踝深的雪地里更舒适和温暖的地方。
“What’s wrong? You said you want to talk about something and it sounded serious.”
“怎么了？你说你想谈谈，听起来很严肃。”
not too far, and sit there talking when it was too cold to sit in the park. But this time she just shook her head and stayed where she stood.
不要太远，坐在那里谈话，当天气太冷，坐在公园里。但这一次，她只是摇摇头，呆在原地不动。
“Let’s go to Lizzie’s. It’s warmer there. It’s minus 10 centigrade out here, and I’m sure we could have some coffee and pudding right now”, Michael held out his hand. Usually she would take it and they would walk to Lizzie’s, which was
“我们去丽齐家吧。那里比较暖和。外面零下10摄氏度，我肯定我们现在就可以喝点咖啡和布丁。”迈克尔伸出手。通常她会拿着它，然后他们步行到丽齐家
“Sara, it’s freezing cold here. We might catch flu or worse pneumonia. Let’s go before I froze into a human-icicle and then you have to drag me around. I am heavy you know”, he smiled to her.
“莎拉，这里很冷。我们可能会得流感或者更严重的肺炎。趁我还没被冻成冰柱你还得把我拖来拖去。“你知道，我很重的。”他对她笑了笑。
frozen his entire inner organs.
冷冻了他的整个内脏。
“It won’t take long”, she said after pausing a little while. Something suddenly made Michael felt that the snowstorm is happening inside him, stopped his pulse and
“不会花很长时间的，”她停顿了一会儿后说，突然有些事情发生了让迈克尔感觉到暴风雪正在他体内发生，使他的脉搏停止跳动
“Sara?”
“莎拉？”
She watched him looking all confused and worried and felt so warm inside. This guy was the only person she should face today. She had to do this. Sooner or later she had to do this. She knew this would hurt him more than she was hurt by it. But this was the only chance. Her only chance to get away from him. Although she knew so well there was no way to get away from something like that. From pain.
她看着他看起来很困惑，很担心，内心感到很温暖。这家伙是她今天唯一应该面对的人。她必须这么做。她迟早要这么做的。她知道这对他的伤害比对她的伤害更大。但这是唯一的机会。她摆脱他的唯一机会。虽然她很清楚这样的事情是无法逃避的。远离痛苦。
The wind grew more fiercely. Michael by now grabbed her by her shoulders and asked her repeatedly what was wrong with her. As if the cold has numbed her.
风越刮越大。迈克尔这时抓住她的肩膀，反复问她是怎么回事。好像寒冷使她麻木了。
“Do you remember the first time we ever sit in this bench together?” She asked. “Yes. You walked your dog and so did I. And Russel and Biff made friends with each other and so did we.”
“你还记得我们第一次一起坐在这张长椅上的情景吗？”她问道。“是的。你遛狗，我也遛狗。拉塞尔和比夫交上了朋友，我们也是。”
Actually Michael had seen her several times before. He was new in the block, just moved in from his old apartment up north. He came to the park in company with Biff and walked the pet every afternoon, hoping he would meet the girl with vivid eyes.
事实上，迈克尔以前见过她好几次。他刚搬到这个街区，刚从北边的旧公寓搬进来。他和比夫一起来到公园，每天下午带着宠物散步，希望能见到那个眼神生动的女孩。
“Did I do something to make you upset? Did anyone do something that made you upset? Are you OK? What’s wrong, Sara? Tell me and let me help you.”
“我做了什么让你不高兴的事吗？有人做了什么让你不高兴的事吗？你还好吗？怎么了，莎拉？告诉我，让我来帮你。”
Sara smiled. Her big eyes looked sad. Michael was getting frustrated.
莎拉笑了。她的大眼睛看起来很悲伤。迈克尔越来越沮丧。
How could she tell him the truth? She just stood there in the freezing cold and scared Michael to death. Something was wrong. She had been so careful not to let Michael knew too much. Not to let him went too deep inside her life and heart. They said he was all right so she could be friend with him. They had warned her that she could not have any attachment to this man. Beware of this man. It was too dangerous. He was innocent.
她怎么能告诉他真相呢？她只是站在寒冷的地方，把迈克尔吓死了。有点不对劲。她一直小心翼翼，不让迈克尔知道太多。不要让他走得太深入她的生活和内心。他们他说他很好，所以她可以和他做朋友。他们警告过她，她不能对这个男人有任何感情。小心这个人。这太危险了。他是无辜的。
For several silent seconds she stared deep into his eyes, the window of his soul, searching for a reason to hate this man. There was nothing there but deep worries.
她沉默了几秒钟，深深地凝视着他的眼睛，他的灵魂之窗，寻找一个恨这个男人的理由。那里什么也没有，只有深深的忧虑。
“I can’t!”
“我不能！”
“So am I!”she protested at the time. And she was wrong, and she was right. She knew they were right too. She said to herself that she could stop it anytime she wanted to. She knew she was wrong about this. Who can stop love? “I like Lizzie’s apartment”, she said, looking down her feet.
“我也是！”她当时抗议道。她错了，她是对的。她知道他们也是对的。她对自己说，只要她愿意，随时都可以停止。她知道自己错了。谁能阻止爱情？“我喜欢丽齐的公寓，”她说，低头看着自己的脚。
“You emitted light, Michael”, she whispered.
“你发光了，迈克尔，”她低声说。
“Then let’s go there. Much better there than here.”
“那我们去那儿吧，那儿比这儿好多了。”
“What?”
“什么？”
“Knowing you is probably the best thing that could happen to me in the past couple of years. Or for the years to come.”
“在过去几年里，认识你可能是对我来说最好的事情。或者在未来的岁月里。”
Suddenly his throat went dry. They never officially dated and he never exactly told her he loved her. Maybe she got tired with all of the uncertainties. Women expected their boyfriends to verbalize tenderness all the time. This seemed like a good time. Maybe he should tell her he loves her. And then maybe she wouldn’t leave him.
突然，他的喉咙干了。他们从来没有正式约会过，他也从来没有告诉她他爱她。也许她厌倦了所有的不确定性。女人总是希望她们的男朋友能够用言语表达她们的柔情。这看起来是个好时机。也许他应该告诉她他爱她。也许她就不会离开他了。
“Sara, I love you!”
“萨拉，我爱你！”
“I don’t expect you to understand anything, Michael. I can’t even ask you to forgive me for what happened. I’m sorry.”
“我不指望你能理解什么，迈克尔。我甚至不能请求你原谅我所发生的一切。对不起。”
She looked startled to his declaration. Michael could swear she looked disappointed. Or maybe angry? It was very cold outside and the snow blurred his vision. Did she cry? Perhaps. He had to say it. If it could make her stay, then why in hell not?
她对他的声明感到吃惊。迈克尔可以发誓她看起来很失望。或者生气？外面很冷，雪模糊了他的视线。她哭了吗？也许吧。他必须说出来。如果这能让她留下来，那为什么不呢？
All plausible outcomes went through his head. What could I do to make her stay? Should I beg? Should I get on my knees and beg her to stay? Should I cry in front of her? Oh God, please…
所有可能的结果都在他的脑海中闪过。我该怎么做才能让她留下来？我应该乞求吗？我应该跪下来求她留下来吗？我应该在她面前哭吗？哦，上帝，请…
“Thank you”, that was all she said to it. His heart sank.
“谢谢你”，这就是她对它说的全部话。他的心往下沉。
“No. No, I don’t understand, and that’s why you have to explain to me. What happened Sara? What is going on? Something happened while I’m away, that’s for sure. Did I do something wrong? Tell me and maybe I can make up for it.”
“没有。不，我不明白，这就是为什么你必须向我解释。发生了什么事，莎拉？这是怎么回事？我不在的时候一定发生了什么事，这是肯定的。我做错什么了吗？告诉我，也许我可以弥补。”
Sara tried so hard not to cry. At the corner she could see the woman wearing a black coat looking at her watch. She was standing there all the time while Sara talked to Michael. She had grown impatient.
萨拉努力忍住不哭。在拐角处，她可以看见那个穿着黑色外套的女人正看着她的手表。莎拉和迈克尔说话的时候，她一直站在那里。她变得不耐烦了。
Sara kept on walking to the lady in the black coat. A white car pulled by and she opened the door for Sara.
萨拉继续向那位穿黑色外套的女士走去。一辆白色轿车驶过，她为萨拉开了车门。
“Sara!”
“莎拉！”
Michael was unsure how to wrap his arms round her frail figure. Inside, his heart was starting to break to pieces. But he would not give up just yet.
迈克尔不知道如何用双臂搂住她虚弱的身体。在里面，他的心开始碎裂。但是他还没有放弃。
She just smiled to him and walked away. Something just punched Michael right on his chest. He felt like a stone just hit him. The blow didn’t injure him physically but the damage was indescribable. He stood there paralyzed for some seconds before he could move his legs and started chasing her.
她只是对他微笑，然后走开了。有什么东西正好打在迈克尔的胸口上，他感觉就像被石头砸了一样。这一击并没有造成他身体上的伤害，但是造成的伤害是难以形容的。他站在那里瘫痪了几秒钟，才能移动他的腿，并开始追赶她。
“Please, Michael”, she whispered slowly and hugged the bewildered man… His scent, his warmth, his deep voice tone while talking to Sara, she would miss all of them.
“求你了，迈克尔，”她慢慢地低声说，拥抱了那个困惑的男人…他的气味，他的温暖，他和萨拉说话时低沉的声调，她会想念他们所有的一切。
But she didn’t look back. She got in the car and the car drove away. The rear of the car disappeared from his eyesight in the dusk.
但是她没有回头看。她上了车，车开走了。黄昏时分，汽车尾部从他的视线中消失了。
She let go of him and stared at him with some determination in her eyes.
她放开他，用坚定的目光盯着他。
“I want you to know that I do love you. I hope we will get to meet again, Michael.”
“我想让你知道，我真的爱你。我希望我们能再见面，迈克尔。”
“Where are you going?”
“你要去哪儿？”
“Sara! Wait!”
“莎拉！等等！”
Spring came, and Biff demanded to be taken for a stroll on the park one afternoon. Passing the bench, Michael didn’t stop. A young couple had occupied the bench now, talking with tins of coffee in their hands. Michael thought it would be nice to stop at Lizzie’s for some coffee and cherish the old days before going home.
春天来了，一天下午，比夫要求带他去公园散步。迈克尔走过长凳，没有停下来。现在，一对年轻夫妇坐在长凳上，手里拿着罐装咖啡。迈克尔觉得在回家之前去丽齐家喝杯咖啡，回忆一下过去的日子会很不错。
Sara’s apartment was already cleaned empty. They didn’t let her leave anything behind. Not even a note for Michael. No one knew where she went, or who she was. Nobody knew if she had any relatives who could tell where she was going to, and no one knew more than that she loved dogs and she was a very quiet girl. Sara just disappeared. And only Michael was crazy on his search for clues.
Sara的公寓已经被清理干净了。他们不让她留下任何东西。连给迈克尔的便条都没有。没有人知道她去了哪里，或者她是谁。没有人知道她是否有亲戚知道她要去哪里，也没有人知道她喜欢狗，而且她是一个非常安静的女孩。莎拉就这么消失了。只有迈克尔疯狂地寻找线索。
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