“Well, I have. But thanks for, you know, caring.”
“唉，是真的。但是谢谢，你知道，关心。”
She looked at me skeptically. “Uh-huh.”
她怀疑地看着我。“啊哈。”
The Monday after the Loskis’ dinner party, Darla tracked me down at school and forced Bryce Loski back into my brain. “Jules! Whoa, girl, wait up! How have you been?”
洛世奇家晚餐派对后的那个星期一，达拉在学校追上了我，又把布莱斯·洛世奇塞进了我的脑子。“朱莉！噢，女孩，等等！你怎么样啦？”
“It’s not a diet. I’ve just, uh, lost my taste for him.”
“这不是暂停。我只是，呃，对他不再感兴趣。”
“Who told you that?”
“谁告诉你的？”
She laughed. “How long’s this diet gonna last?”
她笑了。“你的暂停要持续多久？”
“Yes, I am. But thanks for thinking about me.” I eyed her and said, “And Darla? It’s not a given anymore.”
“是的，我很好。但谢谢你想着我。”我看着她说道：“还有达拉？这不再是事实了。”
“Like I haven’t got eyes? Come on, girl. It’s a given. Which is why I got to worryin’ about you. Are you seriously all right?”
“我没长眼睛吗？别傻了，女孩。这是个已知事实。这是为什么我很为你担心。你真的很好吗？”
“I’m fine, Darla, how are you?”
“我很好，达拉，你怎么样？”
All through first period I was still feeling strong and right and certain, but then Mrs. Simmons ended the lesson a full fifteen minutes early and said, “Clear your desks of everything but a pen or pencil.”
整个第一节课我还是感觉强壮，正确和肯定，但西蒙斯太太提前了整整十五分钟结束了课并说道：“理干净你们的书桌所有东西，只留一支钢笔或铅笔。”
“No, seriously,” she whispered. “Are you doing okay?” She shifted her backpack and looked over each shoulder. “I got to thinking, you know, that was just so cold of Bryce. Especially since you’ve got that soft spot for him.”
“不，说真的，”她低语道。“你还好吗？”她脱掉背包检查着两边的肩膀。“我一直在想，你知道，布莱斯真是冷血。特别是你对他很有好感。”
A wave of relief swept across the room. “Basket boys? You mean it’s not a quiz?”
一只宽慰的手挥舞在房间里。“篮子男孩？你的意思是这不是测验？”
“Everything!” she said. “Come on, you’re wasting valuable time.”
“所有的东西！”她说，“快点，你们在浪费有价值的时间。”
“What?” everyone cried, and believe me — I was right along with them. I was not prepared for a quiz!
“什么？”所有人喊道，相信我——我也跟着他们一起。我可没准备好接受测验！
She ticked through the stack, counting ballots as she spoke. “It is like a quiz in that I don’t want you conferring with one another. It’s also like a quiz in that you have a limited amount of time.” She slapped a set of ballots down on the first desk of row one, then went on to the second row. “I will collect them from you individually when the bell rings, and I will inspect to see that you have complied with the following instructions.” She scooted over to row three. “Choose five, and only five, of the boys on the list. Do not put your name on it, and do not discuss your choices with your neighbors.” She was on to row four now, talking faster and faster. “When you’ve made your selections, simply turn your sheet over.” She slapped the remainder down on the last desk. “Do not, I repeat, do not fold your ballot!”
她给一叠纸标号，一边数着选票一边说：“这是一个我不想让你们互相讨论的测试。这也是一个限制时间的测试。”她把一叠选票拍在第一列的第一张桌子上，然后走向第二列。“当铃声响时我会单独来收，我会检查你是否服从了下面的指令。”她疾走到第三列。“选五个，只有五个，在男生的名单中。别在上面写你的名字，别和你的同桌讨论你的选择。”她现在已经在第四列，语速越来越快。“当你挑选完后，把纸张反面。”她把剩下的拍在最后一张桌上。“不要，我重复一遍，不要折叠你的选票！”
The room filled with grumbles and the sound of shuffling binders, and when we’d all pretty much complied with her request, she picked a stack of bright yellow papers off her desk, fanned them with an evil grin, and said, “It’s time to vote for basket boys!”
房间里充满了抱怨声和拖动文件夹的声音，而当我们大部分都服从了她的要求时，她把一叠明黄色的纸从桌上拿起来，带着邪恶的笑容扇着风，并说道：“到了为篮子男孩投票的时间了！”
“Robbie…,” Mrs. Simmons warned.
“罗比…，”西蒙斯太太警告道。
Robbie Castinon raised his hand and blurted out, “Why do guys have to vote. It’s lame to have guys vote.”
罗比·卡斯提诺举起他的手脱口而出：“为什么男生也要投票。男生投票太傻了。”
A lot of people snickered, and Mrs. Simmons scowled, but he had a point. Twenty of the school’s eighth-grade boys would be made to pack a picnic lunch for two and be auctioned off to the highest bidder.
很多人窃笑着，西蒙斯太太生气地皱眉，但是他说到了重点。学校八年级的二十个男生要准备一个两人份的午餐，并被最高的出价者买走。
“Seriously! What are we supposed to do? Vote for our friends or our enemies?”
“真的。我们该怎么做？投给我们的朋友还是敌人？”
All the guys around him muttered, “Not me,” but Mrs. Simmons cleared her throat and said, “You should want to be one! It’s a tradition that has helped support the school since it was founded. There have been generation after generation of basket boys helping make this campus what it is today. It’s why we have flower beds. It’s why we have shade trees and a grove of apple trees. Visit another junior high sometime and you’ll begin to realize what a little oasis our campus really is.”
他周围所有的男孩嘟囔道：“我不想。”但西蒙斯太太清了清喉咙说道：“你们应该想！这是一个传统，从成立开始就一直帮助支持学校。一代又一代的篮子男孩帮助学校变成了现在的样子。这是为什么我们有花坛。这是为什么我们有树荫和一片苹果树林。有时看看其他的初中，你就会开始发现我们学校是一片小小的绿洲。”
“Being a basket boy is an honor –” Mrs. Simmons began, but she was interrupted by Robbie.
“成为一个篮子男孩是一种荣誉——”西蒙斯太太开头，但被罗比打断了。
“It’s a joke!” he said. “It’s embarrassing! Who wants to be a basket boy?”
“是个笑话！”他说。“这很尴尬！谁想成为篮子男孩？”
“All this from the sweat and blood of basket boys,” Robbie grumbled.
“这些都是从篮子男孩的血汗来的。”罗比抱怨道。
Mrs. Simmons sighed. “Robbie, someday when your children go to school here, you’ll understand. For now, please just vote for whoever you think will earn a high bid. And class,” she added, “we’re down to nine minutes.”
西蒙斯太太叹了口气。“罗比，当有一天你的孩子来了这所学校，你就会明白了。现在，请为你认为会赢得高价的人投票。同学们，”她补充，“我们有九分钟。”
She’d give me detention, that’s what. So with two minutes left to go, I put dots next to the boys I knew who weren’t jerks or clowns, but were just nice. When I was through, there were all of ten names with dots, and of those I circled five: Ryan Noll, Vince Olson, Adrian Iglesias, Ian Lai, and Jon Trulock. They wouldn’t make basket boy, but then I wouldn’t be bidding, so it didn’t really matter. At the bell I handed over my ballot and forgot all about the auction.
她会让我留校察看，这是肯定的。而在剩下的两分钟内，我在所有我知道不是流氓或捣蛋鬼的男孩边画了圆点。我浏览过去，那里有十个名字标上了圆点，在那之间我圈了五个：赖安·诺尔，文斯·奥尔森，阿德里安·伊格莱西亚斯，伊恩·莱，还有乔恩·特鲁洛克。他们不会成为篮子男孩，但反正我不会投标，所以这并不重要。当铃声打响时我交了我的选票，把拍卖忘得一干二净。
The room fell quiet. And as I read down the list of over one hundred and fifty eighth-grade boys, I realized that to me, there had only ever been one boy. To me, there had only been Bryce.
教室变得很安静。而当我读着一百五十个八年级男孩的名单时，我发现对我来说，那只有一个。对我来说，那里只有布莱斯。
I didn’t let myself get sentimental. I had liked him for all the wrong reasons, and I certainly wasn’t going to vote for him now. But I didn’t know who else to vote for. I looked at Mrs. Simmons, who was eagle-eyeing the class between glances at the clock. What if I didn’t choose anybody? What if I just turned it in blank?
我没有让自己变得多愁善感。我因为错误的原因而喜欢他，而现在我绝对不会投他的票。但我不知道还可以投谁。我看着西蒙斯太太，她正密切注视着学生，偶尔瞥一眼钟。如果我谁都不选呢？如果我就这样交白卷呢？
Until lunchtime the next day, that is. Darla cut me off on my way to the library and dragged me over to her table instead. “Have you seen the list?”
直到第二天的午餐时间。达拉在我去图书馆的半路上截住了我，反而把我拉到了她的桌子。“你看过名单吗？”她问。
she asked. “What list?”
“什么名单？”
“The list of basket boys!” She shoved a scrawled copy of twenty names in front of me and looked around. “Your main dish is on it!”
“篮子男孩的名单！”她把一张写着二十个名字的潦草抄写推到我面前并环顾四周。“你的真命天子在上面！”
Five from the top, there it was — Bryce Loski.
从上往下第五个，就在那儿了——布莱斯·洛世奇。
I threw the list back at Darla and said, “He’s not my main dish! As a matter of fact, I didn’t even vote for him.”
我把名单扔回给达拉说道：“他不是我的真命天子！事实上，我根本没有投他的票。”
I should have expected it, but still, this awful surge of possessiveness shot through me. Who had voted for him? Out of one hundred fifty names he must have gotten a lot of votes! Suddenly I was picturing a swarm of girls waving stacks of cash in the Booster ladies’ faces as they begged to have lunch with him.
我应该料想到的，但是，这种糟糕的占有欲如洪水般席卷着我。谁投他票的？一百五十个名字里他肯定得到了很多票数！突然间我想象到了一大群女孩子在援助女士的面前，挥舞着大叠的现金祈求能和他共进午餐。
“Oooo, girl! You are stickin’ to your diet!”
“哇，女孩！你还在暂停呢！”
“It’s not a diet, Darla. I’m… I’m over him, okay?”
“这不是暂停，达拉。我…我和他结束了，好吗？”
“I’m glad to hear it, ’cause rumor is, that bimbette Shelly is already stakin’ her claim on him.”
“听到这个我很高兴，，因为传闻说，那个轻浮小妞雪莉发誓要买到他。
“Shelly? Shelly Stalls?” I could feel my cheeks flush.
“雪莉？雪莉·斯塔尔斯？”我能感觉到我的脸颊通红。
She laughed. “Good for you.”
她笑了。“那就好。”
“No! I’m not bidding. Not on anyone!”
“不！我不会投标。谁都不会！“
“You get to miss the second half of school…”
“你可以错过一下午的课…”
Macy’s top lip curled a little and she said, “Jon Trulock? Jon Tru lock? How did he get on this list?”
梅西微微撅起嘴巴说道：“乔恩·特鲁洛克？乔恩·特鲁洛克？他怎么上名单的？“
For a moment I couldn’t believe my ears. I snatched the paper out of Macy’s hand. “Are you sure?”
有一瞬间我无法相信自己的耳朵。我从梅西手里一把抢过那张纸，“你确定？“
“The quiet girls, I guess,” Darla said. “Me, I’m more interested in Mike Abenido. Have I got any competition?”
“安静的女孩们，我猜。”达拉说。“我，我对迈克·阿班尼多更感兴趣。我有任何竞争对手吗？”
“How about you, Jules?” Darla asked me. “Bringin’ spare change on Friday?”
“你呢，朱莉？”达拉问我。“星期五也带点零钱来？”
Macy laughed, “If you’re in, I’m out!”
梅西笑道：“如果你要投标，我就放弃！“
“No!”
“不！”
“And Denny’s on it, too!” Liz squealed. “That boy is”– she shivered and giggled –“fi-yi-yine!”
“丹尼也在上面！”莉斯尖叫道。“那个男孩是”——她笑得直颤——
“Me too,” said Liz.
“我也是。”莉斯说。
“Right there,” she said, pointing to his name. “Who do you suppose voted for him?”
“就在那儿，”她说，指着他的名字。“你认为谁投了他票？”
Darla’s friends fell all over themselves getting to her, then pored over the paper like it was a treasure map. Macy cried, “Chad Ormonde’s on it! He is so cute. I’d go ten bucks on him, easy!”
达拉的朋友冲向她，然后熟读着那张纸，仿佛那是张藏宝图。梅西喊道：“查德·奥蒙德在上面！他好可爱哦。我会拿十块钱买他，简单！”
“That’s right.” Darla waved her list in the air, calling, “Liz! Macy! Over here! I’ve got the list!”
“没错。”达拉在空中挥舞着她的名单，喊道：“莉斯！梅西！这边！我拿到名单了！”
When I wasn’t thinking about Bryce, I was worrying about poor Jon Trulock. He was quiet, and I felt sorry for him, having to clutch a basket and be auctioned off in front of the whole student body. What had I done to him?
当我不再想布莱斯时，我开始为乔恩·特鲁洛克担心。他很安静，而我为他感到抱歉，需要提着一个篮子，站在全校同学面前被拍卖。我对他做了什么？
That afternoon I rode home from school brooding about Bryce and the whole basket boy auction. I could feel myself backsliding about Bryce. But why should I care if Shelly liked him? I shouldn’t even be thinking about him!
那天下午我且车回家时沉思着关于布莱斯和整个篮子男孩的拍卖。我能感觉到自己对布莱斯故态复萌。但为什么我还要在乎雪莉喜欢他？我根本不该想他！
“Really?” She emerged from the bathroom with her cleaning gloves and a pail. “I was wondering if it was ever going to spring up.”
“真的？”她戴着清洁手套，提着水桶从厕所里走出来。“我还以为它们永远不会长出来了呢。”
But as I bounced up our drive, basket boys bounced right out of my mind. Was that green I saw poking out of the dirt? Yes! Yes, it was! I dropped the bike and got down on my hands and knees. They were so thin, so small, so far apart! They barely made a difference in the vastness of the black dirt, and yet there they were. Pushing their way through to the afternoon sun.
但当我回到我们家车道上时，篮子男孩从我脑子中彻底弹了出去。我看到的是绿色钻出泥土了吗？是的！是真的！我扔下了自行车，双膝和双手都伏在地上。它们是这么稀疏，这么微小，而且相距甚远！它们甚至在广阔的黑土里很难分辨，但它们就在那儿。迎着下午的艳阳生长。
“Well, it has! Come! Come and see!”
“嗯，已经长出来了！来啊！过来看看！”
I ran in the house, calling, “Mom! Mom, there’s grass!”
我跑进房子里，喊道：“妈妈！妈妈，草长出来了！”
She cocked her head a bit and looked a little closer. “Yawning?”
她歪着脑袋，看得更仔细些。“打哈欠？”
Bryce. His name shot through my brain, and with it came a panic I didn’t seem able to control.
布莱斯。他的名字穿过我的大脑，这给我带来一阵惊慌，我似乎无法控制自己。
“Well, more stretching, I guess. Like they’re sitting up in their little bed of dirt with their arms stretched way high, saying, Good morning, world!”
“嗯，更像伸懒腰，我猜。就像它们从土床上起来，高举起手臂，说道，早上好，世界！”
She wasn’t too impressed at first. But after I made her get down on her hands and knees and really look, she smiled and said, “They’re so delicate…”
一开始那并没有给她留下什么印象。但在我让她跪在地下仔细看后，她微笑着说：“它们多么娇弱啊…”
“They look like they’re yawning, don’t they?”
“它们看起来像在打哈欠，不是吗？”
I got up and uncoiled the hose. “I think they need a wakeup shower, don’t you?”
我站起来拉开水管。“我认为它们需要冲个清醒澡，你呢？“
She laughed and said, “Yes, they do!”
她大笑着，说道：“是啊！”
Before I could stop myself, I dropped the hose and dashed inside.
在我能够阻止自己之前，我扔下水管冲了进去。
My mom agreed and left me to my singing and sprinkling. And I was completely lost in the joy of my little green blades of new life when I heard the school bus rumble to a stop up on Collier Street.
我妈妈也同意，留下我边唱边浇水。我正完全地迷失在发现小绿叶生机的快乐中时，我听见了校车停在科里尔街的辘辘声。
I locked myself in my room and tried to do my homework. Where was my peace? Where was my resolve? Where was my sanity? Had they left me because Shelly Stalls was after him? Was it just some old rivalry making me feel this way?
我把自己锁在房间里，试着做我的作业。我的平静在哪儿？我的决心在哪儿？我的理智在哪儿？是因为雪莉·斯塔尔斯喜欢他，它们才离开我的吗？仅仅是旧的竞争让我有这种感觉吗？
It was working, too! I was growing stronger by the day. Who cared about auctions and basket boys? I didn’t!
这很有用！我一天比一天坚强。谁在乎拍卖和篮子男孩？我不在乎！
But in my heart I knew that just like the new grass, I wasn’t strong enough yet to be walked on. And until I was, there was only one solution: I had to stay away from him. I needed to rope him out of my life.
但在我心里我知道这就像新生的草，我还不够坚强能够忘掉。而到现在为止，这只有一个解决办法：我必须离他远远的。我需要把他隔离出我的生活。
So I closed my ears to the news of basket boys and steered clear of Bryce at school. And when I did happen to run into him, I simply said hello like he was someone I barely even knew.
所以我对篮子男孩的新闻置之不理，在学校里避开布莱斯。而当我们偶遇时，我简单地对他打招呼，把他当成我根本不熟悉的人。
So what? I told myself. So what? But as I was throwing on my windbreaker, I eyed my money tin and hesitated. What if…
那又怎样？我告诉自己。那又怎样？但当我穿上披风时，我看着我的钱罐犹豫了。如果我…
Friday morning I got up early, collected what few eggs there were in the coop, watered the front yard, which was by now definitely green, ate breakfast, and got ready for school.
星期五早上我很早就起来，收集了笼子里的几个鸡蛋，给前院浇了水，现在已经是一片绿色，吃了早饭，为去学校做准备。
But as I was running a brush through my hair, I couldn’t help thinking about Shelly Stalls. It was auction day. She’d probably been up since five, making her hair into some impossibly pouffy do.
但当我梳头的时候，我无法控制地想到了雪莉·斯塔尔斯。今天是拍卖日。她可能五点就起来了，把她的头发梳成不太可能的形状。
I had to get past Bryce and Shelly. They deserved each other — let them have each other!
我必须忘掉布莱斯和雪莉。他们很般配——让它们在一起吧。
“Julianna,” she called, waving her hand through the air. “Here, dear. Take this. I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to get it to you. I keep missing you in the mornings.”
“这儿，亲爱的。拿上这些。我很抱歉这么久了我才给你。早上我都没遇到你。”
I ran to the garage, got my bike, and pushed out of the driveway. And I was in the street and on my way when Mrs. Stueby flew right in my path.
我跑到车库，拿到我的自行车，把它推到车道上。我正在半路时，史努比太太挡住了我的路。
“Nonsense, child! Of course I’m going to pay you. Here!” she said, and waved it out for me to take.
“胡说，孩子！我当然要付钱。给你！”她说，伸出来让我拿走。
No! No-no-no!
不行！不－不－不！
I didn’t even know how much she owed me. At that moment I didn’t care. All I knew was the top bill in her hand was a ten, and it was striking terror in my heart. “Mrs. Stueby, please. I… I don’t want that. You don’t have to pay me.”
我根本不知道她欠了我多少。在那一瞬间我也不在乎。我只知道那叠钱最上面的是十元，而它正恐怖地敲着我的心。“史努比太太，拜托了。我…我不想要这些。你不需要给我。”
“No, really. I… I don’t want it.”
“不，真的。我…我不想要。”
She wedged it in the pocket of my jeans and said, “What utter nonsense. Now go! Go buy yourself a rooster!” then hurried back up her walkway.
她把它塞进我的牛仔裤口袋里说道：“别胡说了。现在走吧！买只公鸡去！”然后快速地回到了她的走道。
All the way to school Mrs. Stueby’s money was burning a hole in my pocket and another in my brain. How much was it?
在学校的路上史努比太太的钱在我的口袋和脑子里各烧了一个坑。有多少呢？
“Mrs. Stueby… Mrs. Stueby?” I called after her. “I don’t want a rooster…!” but she was gone.
“史努比太太…史努比太太？”我在她后面喊道。“我不想要只公鸡…！”但她已经走了。
When I got to school, I parked my bike, then broke down and looked. Ten, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. I folded the bills together and slid them back into my pocket. Was it more than Shelly had?
当我到达学校是，我停好了自行车，然后拿出来看了看。十，十五，十六，十七，十八。我把钞票叠在一起并把它们塞回了我的口袋。这比雪莉有的要多吗？
All through first period I was furious with myself for even thinking it. All through second period I kept my eyes off of Bryce, but oh! It was so hard! I’d never seen him in a tie and cuff links before!
整个第一堂课我对自己的想法感到狂怒。而整个第二堂课我都想不盯着布莱斯看，但是，哦！这太难了！我从没见过他打领带和戴袖扣！
Then at break I was at my locker when Shelly Stalls appeared out of nowhere. She got right next to me and said, “I hear you’re planning to bid on him.”
然后课间休息时我正在寄物柜边上，雪莉·斯塔尔斯不知从什么地方冒了出来。她站在我边上说道：“我听说你打算竞拍他。”
“What?” I took a step back. “Who told you that? I am not!”
“什么？”我向后退了一步。“谁告诉你的？我才没有！”
“Someone said they saw you with a whole wad of cash this morning. How much do you have?”
“有人说他们看见你今天早上带着一叠现金。你有多少？”
She laughed, “Oh, that’ll be the day!”
她笑道：“哦，谁相信啊！”
“It’s true.” I slammed my locker closed. “Go ahead and waste your money on him. I don’t care.”
“是真的。”我摔上寄物柜门。“去吧你的钱浪费在他身上好了。我不在乎。”
I left her there with her mouth open, which felt even better than getting her in a headlock.
我把她嘴巴张开地留在了那儿，这比我夹住她头部感觉更好。
“It’s… it’s none of your business. And I’m not bidding, okay? I… I don’t even like him anymore.”
“这…这和你无关。而且我也没想竞拍，好吗？我…我都不再喜欢他了。”
Then the basket boys came out on the stage. Bryce looked so adorable holding a picnic basket with red-and-white-checked napkins peeking out from either side, and the thought of Shelly Stalls flipping one of those napkins into her lap nearly made the bills in my pocket burst into flames.
然后篮子男孩出现在了舞台上。布莱斯提着一个野餐篮，两边挂着红白格子的餐巾，看起来真可爱，而雪莉·斯塔尔斯把其中一条餐巾塞进领子的想法几乎让我口袋里的钞票爆发成火焰。
Darla came up behind me and whispered, “Rumor is you’ve got a wad of cash. Is that true?”
达拉走到了我后面，低语道：“传闻说你有一叠现金。是真的吗？”
“What? No! I mean, yes, but I… I’m not bidding.”
“什么？不是！我是说，是的，但我…我不会竞拍。”
She looked from me to the stage and back to me. “You got nothin’ to lose but your self- respect.”
她看着我，然后看着舞台，再看着我。“除了你的自尊，你没什么可失去的。”
That feeling carried me clear through to eleven o’clock, when the entire student body assembled in the gymnasium. I was not going to bid on Bryce Loski. No way!
那种感觉让我感到很清醒，一直到十一点，所有人聚集在体育馆。我绝不会竞拍布莱斯。决不！
“Oooo, girl, look at you. You feelin’ all right?”
“噢，女孩，看看你。你感觉还好吗？”
I felt light-headed and wobbly — like I wasn’t in control of my own body.
我感觉自己的头晕乎乎地晃动——就像我没在控制着自己的身体。
Darla said, “Maybe you should sit down.”
达拉说，“也许你应该坐下。”
“Stop it!” I whispered at her fiercely. It felt like I was having a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe.
“停下来！”我很凶地对她低语。我感觉自己正恐慌症发作。我无法呼吸。
I wasn’t. I felt sick to my stomach and shaky in the knees. “I’m fine,” I told her. “Fine.”
我不好。我感觉胃不舒服，膝盖颤抖。“我很好，”我告诉她，“很好。”
She frowned at me. “I think I’ll stick around to make sure.”
她对我皱眉。“我认为我还是呆在你身边比较好。”
“I’m fine, Darla, I’m fine.”
“我很好，达拉，很好。”
The Booster Club president, Mrs. McClure, had been fluttering around the basket boys, fixing ties and giving them last-minute instructions, but now suddenly she was slamming her gavel on the podium, calling into the microphone, “If you’ll all settle down, we’re ready to begin.”
援助会会长，麦克卢尔太太，正在篮子男孩周围晃来晃去，整理领带并给他们最后一分钟的命令，但现在突然间她用小木槌在讲台上敲了一下，对着麦克风喊道：“如果你们能安静下来，我们准备开始了。”
I’d never seen six hundred kids quiet down so fast. I guess Mrs. McClure hadn’t either, because she smiled and said, “Why, thank you. Thank you very much.” Then she said, “And welcome to the fifty-second annual Basket Boy Auction! I know that your teachers have gone over the procedures with you in homeroom, but I’ve been asked to remind you of a few things: This is a civilized proceeding. No whistling, catcalls, or other degrading behavior will be tolerated. If you wish to place a bid, you must raise your hand high. Bidding without raising your hand is prohibited, and should you decide to be a funny guy, you will be caught and detained or suspended. Are we all clear on that? Good.” She looked from one side of the gym to the other. “Teachers, I see that you are in position.”
我从没见过六百个孩子这么快安静下来。我猜麦克卢尔太太也没有，因为她微笑着说道：“哦，谢谢。非常感谢。”然后她说：“欢迎第五十二届的篮子男孩拍卖！我知道你们的老师已经在指导教室里介绍过了流程，但我需要在提醒你们几件事：这是非常文明的进行。没有口哨声，没有嘘声，或者其他丢脸的表现都不被容许。如果你希望竞拍，高举起你的手。竞拍时不举手是禁止的，而如果你想要开玩笑，你会被抓住，被扣留或禁止参与。都清楚了吗？很好。”她从体育馆一边看到另一边。“老师们，我看到你们都进入状态了。”
Six hundred heads turned slowly from side to side, looking at the blockade of teachers on either side of the gym.
六百个头慢慢地从一边转向另一边，看着老师们封锁了体育馆的每一边。
“Man,” Darla whispered, “they’re not leaving much room for fun, are they?”
“天哪，”达拉低语道，“他们并不想让我们有什么乐趣，是吗？”
“All right, then!” She put on her reading glasses and looked at a three-by-five card. “Our first basket has been brought by Jeffrey Bisho.” She looked over her glasses at him and said, “Come on up, Jeffrey. Don’t be shy!” He inched forward as she continued. “Jeffrey has brought a scrumptious lunch consisting of chicken salad sandwiches, oriental noodles, baby grapes, iced tea, and fortune cookies.” She smiled at him over her glasses. “Sounds delicious, and sounds like fun! Which,” she said, looking back at the crowd, “Jeffrey is! He enjoys skateboarding, skiing, and swimming, but ladies, he also enjoys a day in the park and watching Humphrey Bogart movies.” She turned to him and grinned. “They are a kick, aren’t they?”
“好了！”她带上她的眼镜并看着三乘五寸的卡片。“我们第一个篮子是杰弗里·比肖。”她在眼镜上方看着他说道：“上来吧，杰弗里。别害羞！”他一边缓慢地向前，她一边继续：“杰弗里带来了一份美味的午餐，包括鸡肉沙拉三明治，东方面条，小葡萄，冰茶，以及幸运饼。”她透过眼镜对着他微笑道：“听起来很美味，而且听起来很有趣！当然，”她说，又看向群众，“杰弗里也是！他喜欢滑板、滑雪，还有游泳，但女士们，他还喜欢呆在公园一天和看亨弗莱·鲍嘉的电影。”她转向他露齿而笑：“它们很带劲，是吗？”
Mrs. McClure continued, “Minimum bid is ten dollars, and of course, the sky’s the limit, but we don’t accept IOUs.” She pointed to her right. “Winning bidders should go directly to the table at the north door when I declare the basket to be sold. And as you’re aware, winners and their basket boys have the rest of the school day off and are exempt from tonight’s homework in all classes.” She smiled out at the blockade. “Teachers, we appreciate your support on this.
麦克卢尔太太继续道：“低价是十美元，而当然，最高价没有界限，但是我们不接受欠条。”她指着她的右边。“赢了的竞拍者要直接去北门的桌子，当我宣布篮子卖出。而你们知道的，赢家和篮子男孩有一下午的休息，除了要做今晚所有学科的作业。”她对着封锁者们微笑。“老师们，我们感激您的配合。”
“I don’t want to! But I’ve liked him for so long. Darla, I’ve liked him since I was seven. And even though I know he’s a coward and a sneak and I should never speak to him again, I’m having trouble focusing on that. Especially since Shelly Stalls is after him. And now I’ve got this money burning a hole in my pocket!”
“我不想！但是我喜欢他太久了。达拉，我从七岁就开始喜欢他。而虽然我知道他是个懦夫和鬼鬼祟祟的人，我应该不再和他说话，我还是无法集中注意。特别是雪莉·斯塔尔斯也喜欢他。而现在这些钱在我口袋里烧出了洞！”
“Exactly, and –” I looked at her looking at me and stopped cold.
“的确如此，而且——”我看着她看着我，突然停了下来。
“How can you even think about bidding on that boy?”
“你怎么能甚至想到去竞拍他呢？”
“I think her name’s Tiffany,” she said. “She’s a seventh grader.”
“我认为她叫蒂芙妮，”她说，“她是个七年级生。”
I looked at her and almost dissolved right on the spot. “Darla, I didn’t bring money on purpose! My neighbor made me take it on the way to school because she owed it to me for eggs and –“
我看着她，几乎融化在了原地。“达拉，我并不是有意要带钱的！我邻居在我去学校的路上塞给了我因为她欠了我的鸡蛋钱还有——”
Poor Jeff tried to smile, but you could tell — he wanted to die.
可怜的杰弗里试图微笑，但你能看出——他想死。
“Who is that?” I asked Darla.
“那是谁？”我问达拉。
“All right, then,” said Mrs. McClure as she whipped off her glasses. “Do I hear ten?”
“好了，”麦克卢尔太太边说边拍着她的眼镜：“我听见十了吗？”
“Really? Wow. I would never have bid last year! And I… I don’t remember bids going up that high, either.”
“真的？哇。去年我绝对不会竞拍的！而且我…我也不记得竞价有那么高。”
“For eggs? Oh, like Bryce was talking about in the library?”
“鸡蛋？哦，像布莱斯在图书馆所说的？”
Darla eyed me. “Which tells me that maybe you would bid this year? How much you got?”
达拉看着我。“这告诉我也许你今年会竞拍？你有多少钱？”
Not only did she hear ten, she heard twelve, fifteen, twenty, and twenty-five, too! “Going… going… gone!” cried Mrs. McClure. “To the young lady in the purple tunic!”
她不仅听见了十，她听见十二，十五，二十，还有二十五！“一次…两次…成交！”麦克卢尔太太喊道：“给这位紫色外衣的小姐！”
As the bidding continued, the battle in my head got louder and fiercer. What was I going to do?
而竞拍持续时，我头脑里的战争变得更加响亮而激烈。我该怎么做？
I looked back at the stage. The auction was happening so fast! They’d be at Bryce in no time.
我看回舞台。拍卖进行得太快了！没多久就是布莱斯了。
Then suddenly the gym fell quiet. You could have heard a pin drop. And standing next to Mrs. McClure looking completely mortified was Jon Trulock. Mrs. McClure was scouring the crowd with her eyes, looking very uncomfortable, too. “What happened?” I whispered to Darla.
然后突然间体育馆安静下来。你能听见针落下的声音。而站在麦克卢尔太太边上看起来非常羞愧的是乔恩·特鲁洛克。麦克卢尔太太用眼睛搜寻着人群，看起来也非常不舒服。
She shook her head. “Oh, girl. I’m hurting for you here.”
她摇了摇头。“哦，女孩。我为你感到疼痛。”
“Well, I can understand the bit about Shelly Stalls, but if you know that boy’s just a big piece of fluffy cheesecake that you’re gonna regret eating, I can help you with your diet.” She put out her hand. “Give me the money. I’ll hold it for you.”
“嗯，我理解雪莉·斯塔尔斯的部分，但如果你知道那男孩只是块柔软的奶酪蛋糕，你吃了会后悔，我可以帮助你的节食。”她伸出她的手：“给我你的钱，我帮你拿着。”
“I mean… I can handle this. I’ve got to handle it.”
“我是说…我能应付这些。我必须要应付。”
“No one’s bidding,” she whispered back.
“发生什么了？”我对着达拉低语。
“No!”
“不行！”
“Come on, out there! This lunch is delicious. Strawberry tarts, roast beef and Muenster cheese sandwiches…”
“我听见十了吗？”麦克卢尔太太喊道，“来啊，上来！这份午餐很美味。草莓馅饼，烤牛肉还有门斯特干酪三明治…”
“No?”
“不行？”
“Do I hear ten?” called Mrs. McClure.
“没有人竞拍。”她也低语道。
That’s when I realized what I had to do. My hand shot into the air and I called, “Ten!”
那时我才意识到该怎么做。我的手举在空中，我喊道：“十！”
“Well, you couldn’t have been the only one…”
“嗯，你不可能是唯一一个…”
I put my hand up higher and said to Darla, “Say twelve.”
我把我的手举得更高，并对达拉说道：“说十二。”
“But why isn’t anyone bidding on him? He’s… he’s so nice.”
“但为什么没人竞拍他？他…他很友好。”
“Ten?” warbled Mrs. McClure. “Did I hear ten?”
“十？”麦克卢尔太太颤声道：“我听见十了吗？”
“I voted for him!”
“我投了他的票！”
There was a moment of silence and then, “Eighteen going once! Eighteen going twice… Sold! for eighteen dollars.”
那有一瞬间的寂静，然后，“十八一次！十八一次…成交！十八元。”
Darla nodded. “Exactly.”
达拉点头。“就是啊。”
“What?”
“什么？”
Darla laughed and said, “Whoa, girl! What a rush!”
达拉笑着说，“哇，女孩！那真是仓促！”
“No way!”
“决不！”
I nodded. “Yes, it was!”
我点头：“没错！”
“Sixteen!” called Darla, and eyed me with a laugh.
“十六！”达拉喊道，然后眼中带笑地看着我。
“Darla! He can’t go for ten, c’mon!”
“达拉！他不能就卖出十元，来啊！”
“Twelve!” Darla called, but her hand didn’t go up very high.
“十二！”达拉喊道，但她的手没有举得很高。
“Fifteen!” I cried.
“十五！”我喊道。
I whispered, “Darla! I’ve only got fifteen.”
我低语道，“达拉！我只有十五元。”
Her eyes got enormous.
她瞪大了眼睛。
I laughed and called, “Eighteen!” then held her arm down and said, “But that really is all I’ve got.”
我笑着喊道：“十八！”然后拉下她的手说，“但这真的是我的全部了。”
“You? What did you do?”
“你？你做了什么？”
“Say twelve, I’ll outbid you.”
“说十二，我会压过你。”
“Oh, no!” I whispered to Darla. “I can’t believe I did this to him!”
“哦，不！”我对达拉低语道：“我不相信我对他这么做了！”
Everyone gasped and turned around to see who had called the bid. Darla whispered, “It’s Jenny.”
所有人喘息着转过头看是谁喊出的价格。达拉低语道：“是詹妮。”
“I can’t believe it,” I whispered to Darla. “Sixty-two dollars! C’mon, Miranda, come on.”
“我不敢相信，”我对达拉低语，“来啊，米兰达，来啊。”
I almost didn’t have a choice. Before Mrs. McClure could say two words about Bryce or his basket, Shelly called, “Ten!” Then from the middle of the gym came “Twenty!” It was Miranda Humes, with her hand way in the air. They went back and forth, back and forth, higher and higher, until Shelly called, “Sixty-two!”
我几乎没来得及选择。在麦克卢尔太太能说几句关于布莱斯的篮子之前，雪莉喊道：“十！”然后体育馆中间传来：“十二！”是米兰达·休姆斯，她的手高举在空中。她们互不相让，越来越高，直到雪莉喊道：“六十二！”
“Well, no dessert for you. Looks like you got cleaned out by something a little more… uh… nutritious.” She nodded toward the stage. “You gonna go up to the table like you’re supposed to? Or you gonna stick around and see the carnage?”
“好了，你没有甜点了。看起来你被什么更…呃…有营养的东西清除了。”她对着前方的舞台点头。“你要按照规定去桌子那边？还是你要留在这儿看大屠杀？”
“I think she’s out. Shelly’s got it.”
“我认为她出局了。雪莉赢了。”“
“Sixty-two dollars going once!” cried Mrs. McClure, but before she could say, Going twice! a voice from the back of the gym called, “A hundred!”
“六十二美元一次！”麦克卢尔太太喊道，但在她有机会说，两次！一个声音从体育馆后方传来：“一百！”
She was easy to spot, standing tall above the others in the number-seven basketball jersey she almost always wore. “Wow,” I whispered, “I had no idea.”
她很容易找到，站得比其他人高，穿着她几乎每天穿的七号篮球衫。“哇，”我低语道，“我根本不知道。”
Darla pointed. “Right over there.”
达拉指到。“就在那儿。”
“Atkinson?” I asked.
“爱金逊？”我问。
“Who cares?” I giggled. “She slam-dunked Shelly!”
“谁在乎？”我咯咯笑道，“她扣住了雪莉！”
Mrs. McClure was gushing into the microphone about the record-breaking bid when a big commotion broke out over by Miranda. I spotted Shelly’s hair, and my first thought was that there was going to be a fight. But instead, Shelly and Miranda turned to face Mrs. McClure and called, “One-twenty-two fifty!”
麦克卢尔太太滔滔不绝地对着麦克风讲着破纪录的竞价时，米兰达发出一阵巨大的的骚动。我看见了雪莉的头发，我的第一个想法是那将有场打架。但相反地，雪莉和米兰达转过去面对着麦克卢尔太太喊道：“一百二十二元五角！”
“Maybe she’ll slam-dunk him for you,” Darla said with a grin.
“也许她为你扣住了他。”达拉咧嘴笑着说道。
I choked down a cry. “What?”
我抑制住喊叫。“什么？”
“They’re teamin’ up,” Darla whispered.
“她们合作了。”达拉低语道。
“Oh, no-no-no!” I looked over Jenny’s way. “Come on, Jenny!”
“哦，不－不－不！”我看着詹妮的方向。“快点，詹妮！”
Darla shook her head and said, “She’s through,” and she was. Bryce went to Shelly and Miranda for one hundred twenty-two dollars and fifty cents.
达拉摇了摇头说道：“她输了。”而她真的输了。布莱斯因为一百二十二元五角跟雪莉和米兰达走了。
It was a little strange, meeting up with Jon and walking over to the multi-purpose room for lunch. But he was just so nice, and I think grateful that I’d bid, that by the time we got situated at our table, I wasn’t feeling so awkward or silly. It was just lunch.
这有点奇怪，和乔恩会面并走到多功能厅吃午餐。但是他非常友好，而我很感激自己竞价了，当我们在桌子边就坐时，我没有感到尴尬或荒唐。这只是顿午餐。
Things would have been easier if they hadn’t seated me in direct view of Bryce and his little harem, but I did my best to ignore them. Jon told me all about this radio-controlled airplane that he and his dad were building from scratch, and how he’d been working on it for nearly three months, and that over the weekend they were finally going to get to try it out. He told me a funny story about soldering the wires wrong and practically starting a fire in their basement, and I asked him about how a radio-controlled airplane works because I didn’t really understand it.
如果他们没有让我笔直地面对着布莱斯和他的小后宫，事情就会容易很多，但我尽可能地无视了他们。乔恩告诉了我关于他和他爸爸照着图纸建造无线电控制飞机，他怎样工作了近三个月，而在周末他们终于要去试飞。他告诉我一个有趣的故事，关于焊接电线错误，几乎在地下室着了火，而我问了他无线电控制飞机是怎样运行的，因为我并不真正了解。
Jon asked about my family, so I was telling him about my brothers and their band when a huge commotion broke out over at Bryce’s table.
乔恩问到了我的家庭，所以我告诉了他关于我的哥哥和他们的乐队，那时布莱斯的桌子引起了巨大的骚动。
So I’d relaxed a lot and was actually having a good time eating lunch with Jon. And I was so relieved that I hadn’t bid on Bryce. What a fool I would have made of myself! Watching Shelly and Miranda fawning all over him didn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it would. Really, they looked ridiculous.
我放松了很多，而事实上和乔恩一起吃午餐很开心。而且我为没有竞拍布莱斯感到宽慰。我会把自己变成怎样的傻瓜啊！看着雪莉和米兰达讨好他也没像我想象的那么烦恼。真的，他们看起来很可笑。
Out of nowhere Bryce appeared at our table. He grabbed my hand, pulled me a few feet away, and whispered, “Do you like him?”
布莱斯不知从什么地方出现在了我们的桌子。他抓住我的手，把我拉了一英尺远，低语道：“你喜欢他吗？”
He held my other hand and asked again, “Do you like him?”
他拉住了我另一只手，又问了一遍：“你喜欢他吗？”
Suddenly Shelly and Miranda were rolling on the floor like an enormous furball, smearing each other with food.
突然间雪莉和米兰达像巨型的绒毛球在地上滚，用食物涂抹着对方。
I was stunned.
我大吃一惊。
I can’t remember what I said. He was looking into my eyes, holding my hands tight, and then he began pulling me toward him. My heart was racing and his eyes were closing and his face was coming toward mine… Right there, in front of all the other basket boys and their dates and the adults, he was going to kiss me. To kiss me.
我记不得我说了什么。他正看着我的眼睛，紧紧地拉着我的手，而他开始把我拉近他。我的心跳得飞快，而他的双眼紧闭，他的脸向我的靠近…就在那儿，面对着其他的篮子男孩和他们的约会对象还有大人们，他要吻我了。吻我。
“You mean Jon?”
“你指的是乔恩？”
“Yes!”
“是的！”
A couple of adults steered her back to her seat, and then everyone started whispering double-speed. And Bryce didn’t even seem to care! He kept trying to come over and talk to me, but either he’d get intercepted by a teacher or I’d dash away from him before he had a chance to say anything.
一些大人们引导她回了她的座位，然后所有人开始用双倍的速度低语。而布莱斯看起来根本不在乎！他继续试图过来和我说话，但他会被老师拦截，或者我会在他有机会说任何话之前逃开。
I yanked free and ran back to my table, and when I sat down Jon whispered, “Did he just try to kiss you?”
我猛地抽身跑回了我的桌子，而当我坐下时乔恩低语道：“他刚才试着吻你吗？”
I panicked. I’d been waiting all my life for that kiss, and now?
我慌了。我一生都在等待着这个吻，而现在？
I turned my chair away from Bryce and whispered, “Can we please talk about something else? Anything else?”
我把我的椅子转离布莱斯，低语道：“我们能不能谈点别的？随便什么？”
People were whispering and looking my way, and when Shelly Stalls came back from cleaning up in the washroom, everyone fell quiet. Her hair looked awful. It was sort of oiled to her scalp and still had little chunks of food in it. She glared at me so hard it looked like she was trying to get laser beams to shoot from her eyes.
人们都在窃窃私语并看着我的方向，而当雪莉·斯塔尔斯从洗手间清洁回来时，所有人都安静了。她的头发看起来糟透了。她的头皮上都是油，还有厚厚的一块食物在里面。她使劲瞪着我，看起来像是她要试着从她的眼里发出激光束。
When the dismissal bell finally rang, I said a quick goodbye to Jon and bolted out the door. I couldn’t reach my bike fast enough! I was the first one off campus, and I pedaled home so hard it felt as though my lungs would burst.
当放学的铃声终于响起时，我对乔恩说了个快速的道别，然后夺门而出。我不能用最快的速度到达我的自行车！我是第一个出学校的人，而我用力地瞪着车，感觉到我的肺会爆炸。
My mother heard me slamming doors and came to check on me in my room. “Julianna! What’s wrong?”
我妈妈听见我摔上了门，然后到我的房间查看我。“朱莉安娜！怎么了？”
Mrs. Stueby was out front watering her flower bed and she tried to say something to me, but I just dropped my bike in the driveway and escaped into the house. I certainly didn’t want to talk about roosters!
史努比太太在前门给她的花坛浇水，并试图对我说些什么，但我只是在车道上扔下了自行车逃入了房子。我绝对不想谈论公鸡！
I hesitated, then threw my hands up in the air. “He tried to kiss me!”
我犹豫着，然后把我的手抛向空中。“他要吻我！”
I flipped over on my bed to face her and wailed, “I am so confused! I don’t know what to think or feel or do…!”
我从床上弹起来，面对着她哭叫道：“我好困惑！我不知道该怎么想，怎么感觉，和怎么做…！”
My mother struggled not to let it show, but underneath her composed expression was a growing smile. She leaned in a little and asked, “Who did?”
我妈妈努力着不要表现出来，但在她镇静的表情下正展开了一个微笑。她倾斜了一点点问道：“谁啊？”
She sat down beside me on the bed and stroked my hair. “Tell me what happened, sweetheart.”
她在我边上坐下，轻抚着我的头发。“告诉我发生了什么，甜心。”
The doorbell rang. And rang again. My mom started to get up, but I grabbed her arm and said, “Don’t get that!” The bell rang again, and almost right after that there was a loud knocking at the door. “Mom, please! Don’t get it. That’s probably him!”
门铃响了。然后又响了。我妈妈开始站起来，但我拉住了她的胳膊说道：“别去！”门铃又响了，在那之后门被用力地敲响了。“妈妈，求你了！别去。有可能是他！”
“Bryce!”
“布莱斯！”
She hesitated. “But you’ve always liked him…”
她犹豫着，“但是你一直都喜欢他…”
She chewed the side of one cheek, then moved over to chew the other. At last she said, “I shouldn’t really discuss it.”
她咬着一边的面颊，然后另一边。最后她说：“我不应该真的讨论这些。”
“What do you mean?”
“你指什么？”
“I was over him! Completely over him!”
“我和他结束了！彻底结束了！”
“Why? Did something happen at the dinner that I don’t know about?”
“为什么？晚餐时发生了什么事我不知道吗？”
“But sweetheart…”
“但是甜心…”
“My,” she said after a moment. “Don’t you sound like a teenager.”
“哦，”过来一会儿她说道，“你听起来都不像个青少年了。”
“Since when?”
“从什么时候？”
My mother leaned back and crossed her arms. “Well,” she said. “Isn’t this something.”
我妈妈向后靠着插起了她的胳膊。“嗯，”她说，“这不是什么事吗。”
“I’m sorry,” I whimpered, because I knew I was hurting her feelings. I sat up and said, “Mom, all those years I liked him? I never really knew him. All I knew was that he had the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen and that his smile melted my heart like the sun melts butter. But now I know that inside he’s a coward and a sneak, so I’ve got to get over what he’s like on the outside!”
“我很抱歉，”我啜泣道，因为我知道我伤了她的感情。我坐起来说道：“妈妈，这些年我一直喜欢他？我从没有真正了解过他。我知道的只是他拥有我见过的最美丽的眼睛，还有他的微笑融化了我的心，就像太阳融化黄油。但现在我知道他的内心是个懦夫和蛇蝎，所以我必须忘记他的外表！”
“Since last Friday. After the dinner. If he had vanished from the face of the earth after our dinner at the Loskis’, I wouldn’t have cared!”
“从上周五。晚餐之后。我们在洛世奇家吃过晚餐后，就算他从地球表面消失了，我也不会在乎！”
I threw myself back onto my pillow and said, “It’s too complicated, Mom! I… I just can’t talk about it.”
我扑倒在枕头上说道：“这太复杂了，妈妈！我…我不能说。”
“Because… I just shouldn’t. Besides, I can tell there are things you don’t feel comfortable discussing with me…”
“因为…我只是不能。再说，我知道有些事你觉得和我讨论不太舒服…”
“Why not?”
“为什么？”
Then I realized something. “And you know, you’ve seemed happier ever since.”
然后我意识到了什么，“你知道，在那之后你似乎更加开心。”
I sat up a little. “Wait… how did you know?”
我坐直了一点。“等等…你怎么知道的？”
We stared at each other a moment, neither of us saying a word. Finally I looked down and whispered, “When Chet and I were fixing up the yard, I told him how we didn’t own the house and about Uncle David. He must have told the rest of the family, because the day before the Loskis’ dinner party I overheard Bryce and his friend making cracks about Uncle David at school. I was furious, but I didn’t want you to know because you’d think they were only inviting us over because they felt sorry for us.” I looked at her and said, “You just seemed so happy about being invited for dinner.”
我们看着对方一会儿，我们都没有说一个字。最后我低下头低语道：“当我和切特整理院子的时候，我告诉他我们没有房子的所有权还有关于大卫叔叔。他肯定告诉其他家庭成员了，因为洛世奇晚餐聚会的前一天，我偶然听到布莱斯和他的朋友在学校里嘲笑大卫叔叔。我非常生气，但我不想让你知道，因为你会认为他们是为我们感到抱歉才邀请的。”我看着她说道，“你收到晚餐邀请似乎非常高兴。”
She held my hand and smiled. “I have a lot to be happy about.” Then she sighed and said, “And I already knew they knew about Uncle David. It was fine that you talked about him. He’s not a secret or anything.”
她拉住了我的手微笑道：“我有很多值得开心的。”然后她叹着气说：“我已经知道他们知道大卫叔叔的事了。你谈到他并没有关系。他并不是个秘密。”
While she was gone, I remembered what Chet had said about someone he knew who had never learned to look beneath the surface. Had he been talking about his own daughter? And how could this happen to her after twenty years of marriage?
她离开的时候，我想起来切特说过他认识的一个人从来不知道看看表面以下。他当时说的是自己的女儿吗？这怎么会发生在二十年的婚姻生活后？
“I don’t understand.”
“我不理解。”
I blinked at her. “She did? Before the dinner?”
我对她眨着眼：“真的？在晚餐之前？”
Mom let out a deep breath and said, “I think you’re mature enough to keep this inside these four walls, and I’m only telling you because… because I think it’s relevant.”
妈妈吐出个深呼吸说道：“我认为你已经足够成熟，能够保守秘密，而我告诉你只是因为…因为有些关系。”
“How come?”
“怎么会？”
“Patsy and Rick have been having ferocious fights lately.”
“帕特斯和里克最近一直在凶猛地争吵。”
I held my breath and waited.
我屏住呼吸等待着。
“Mr. and Mrs. Loski? What about?”
“洛世奇先生和太太？关于什么？”
The phone rang and Mom said, “Let me get that, okay? Your dad said he’d call if he was working overtime, and that’s probably him.”
电话响了，妈妈说：“我去接一下，好吗？你爸爸说如果要加班他会打电话来，那有可能是他。”
Mom sighed. “About everything, it seems.”
妈妈叹口气。“关于所有的事，似乎是。”
Very quietly my mother said, “For the first time in her life, Patsy is seeing her husband for what he is. It’s twenty years and two children late, but that’s what she’s doing.” She gave me a sad smile. “Patsy seems to be going through the same thing you are.”
我妈妈非常平静地说：“她一生中的第一次，帕特斯看清了他的丈夫。已经过了二十年，有了两个孩子，但是她现在才看清。”她给了我一个悲伤的微笑。“帕特斯似乎在和你经历一样的事。”
“No, no. After.” She hesitated, then said, “Patsy’s been over several times this week. She’s… she’s going through a very rough time.”
“不，不，之后。”她犹豫着，然后说：“这周帕特斯过来过几次。她…她正经历着艰难的时期。”
“Patsy told me.”
“帕特斯告诉我了。”
When my mother came back, I absently asked, “Is Dad working late?”
当我妈妈回来时，我心不在焉地问：“爸爸要加班吗？”
“That wasn’t Dad, sweetheart. It was Bryce.”
“那不是爸爸，甜心。是布莱斯。”
“You don’t have to marry the boy, Julianna. Why don’t you just listen to what he has to say? He sounded desperate to talk to you.”
“你不需要嫁给那个男孩，朱莉安娜。你为什么不听听他想说的？他听起来极其需要和你谈谈。”
So I gave her the blow-by-blow, beginning with Mrs. Stueby, going clear through Darla, the auction, the furball fight, and ending with Bryce trying to kiss me in front of everybody.
所以我极为详细地告诉了她，从史努比太太开始，然后是达拉，拍卖，绒毛球打架，最后是布莱斯试着当着所有人的面吻我。
“Jealous? Of whom?”
“嫉妒？谁？”
“Mom, it’s not funny!”
“妈妈，这不好笑！”
“I don’t want to wind up like Mrs. Loski!”
“我不想有洛世奇太太的结果！”
“What could he possibly have to say? He’s already tried to blame Garrett for what he said about Uncle David, and I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it. He’s lied to me, he hasn’t stood up for me… he’s… he’s nobody that I want to like. I just need some time to get over all those years of having liked him.”
“他可能会说什么呢？他已经试着把他说大卫叔叔的话怪在加瑞特身上，但是我不买账。我对我撒了谎，他没有帮我…他…他不是我要喜欢的人。我只是需要点时间克服这么多年的喜欢。”
I sat straight up. “Now he’s calling? I have lived across the street from him for six years and he’s never once called me! Is he doing this because he’s jealous?”
我坐直了。“现在他打来了？我们住在他家对面六年他从没打给我！他做这些是因为嫉妒吗？”
She clapped her hands and positively giggled.
她拍着她的手咯咯笑了起来。
She tried to straighten up. “I know, sweetheart, I know.”
她试着改正。“我知道，甜心，我知道。”
My mother knew I needed time to think, but Bryce wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept calling on the phone and knocking on the door. He even snuck around the house and tapped on my window! Every time I turned around, there he was, pestering me.
我妈妈知道我需要时间，但布莱斯不肯离我远点。他不断打我家电话，敲我家门。他甚至溜到房子侧面敲我的窗户！每一次只要我转头，他就在那儿，纠缠着我。
Then she left me alone with my thoughts.
然后她让我带着我的想法单独呆着。
I wanted to be able to water the yard in peace. I wanted not to have to avoid him at school or have Darla run block for me. Why didn’t he understand that I wasn’t interested in what he had to say? What could he possibly have to say?
我想要平静地给院子浇水。我不想要在学校避开他或让达拉帮我阻挡他。为什么他不理解我对他想说的不感兴趣？他可能会说什么呢？
Then this afternoon I was reading a book in the front room with the curtains drawn, hiding from him as I had all week, when I heard a noise in the yard. I peeked outside and there was Bryce, walking across my grass. Stomping all over my grass! And he was carrying a spade! What was he planning to do with that?
那个下午我正坐在前厅里看书，拉着窗帘，像我整个星期所做的那样躲着他，却听见了院子里传来一阵噪音。我偷看了一眼外面然后布莱斯在那儿，穿过了我的草坪。践踏着我的草！而他还拿着个铲子！他打算用它做什么？
Mom sat there for the longest time, biting her cheek. Then she said, “People do change, you know. Maybe he’s had some revelations lately, too. And frankly, any boy who tries to kiss a girl in front of a room full of other kids does not sound like a coward to me.” She stroked my hair and whispered, “Maybe there’s more to Bryce Loski than you know.”
妈妈在那儿坐了最长的时间，咬着她的脸。然后她说：“认识会变的，你知道。也许他最近也有了些启示。坦白的说，任何男孩要是想在一个都是人的房间里亲一个女孩，在我听来并不像个懦夫。”她轻抚着我的头发低语道：“也许布莱斯比你所了解的更多。”
Was it so much to ask just to be left alone?
想要单独呆着真的是要求了太多吗？
He dragged over some potting soil, pierced the bag with the spade, and shoveled dirt into the hole. Then he disappeared. And when he came back, he wrestled a big burlapped root ball across the lawn, the branches of a plant rustling back and forth as he moved.
他拖来一些盆栽土，用铲子把土块敲碎，然后往坑里铲了些土。然后他消失了。而当他回来时，他扛着一个用麻布包好的巨大根团穿过草坪，植物的枝条在他移动时发出沙沙的响声。
It was torture seeing him dig up my grass. The hole he was making was enormous! How could my father let him do this to my yard?
看着他挖去我的草坪真是种折磨。他挖的坑是巨大的！我爸爸怎么能让他这么对待我的院子？
“But what is it? What’s he doing?”
“但是什么呢？他在做什么？”
Bryce knew I was there, too, because he looked at me once and nodded. No smile, no wave, just a nod.
布莱斯也知道我在那儿，因为他看了我一次并点头了。没有微笑，没有招手，只是个点头。
“That’s right. I told him he could.”
“没错。我告诉他可以这么做。”
“Calm down, Julianna,” he said, and eased me back inside. “I gave him permission.”
“冷静点，朱莉安娜，”他说，把我又安顿回去。“我给了他允许。”
I flew off the couch and yanked open the door and ran right into my father. “Stop him!” I cried.
我从沙发上跑下来，猛地拉开门直接跑向我爸爸。“阻止他！”我喊道。
“Watch. You’ll figure it out.”
“看着。你会知道的。”
“It’s not going to kill your grass, Julianna. Just let him do what he’s come to do.”
“这不会杀了你的草，朱莉安娜。就让他做完他来做的事。”
“But why?”
“但为什么？”
“I think the boy has a very good idea, that’s why.”
“我认为这男孩有个很好的注意，这是为什么。”
“Permission! Permission to do what?” I flew back to the window. “He’s digging a hole.”
“允许？做什么的允许？”我冲回窗户。“他在挖个坑。”
“But –“
“但是——”
My dad joined me on the couch and peeked out the window, too.
我爸爸也加入我坐在沙发上偷看着窗外。
“I’d help him, but he says he has to do this himself.”
“我想帮他，但他说这件事他必须单独完成。”
I flipped around on the couch and just sat. A sycamore tree.
我弹到沙发上就坐在了那儿。一棵梧桐树。
“Is it a…” The words stuck in my throat.
“那是…”那些字卡在了我的喉咙里。
“A tree?” I whispered. “He’s planting a tree?”
“一棵树？”我低语道，“他在种树？”
I didn’t really need to ask, though, and he knew he didn’t need to answer. I could tell from the shape of the leaves, from the texture of the trunk. This was a sycamore tree.
但我根本不必问，而他也知道他不必回答。我从树叶的形状，从树干的纹路就能看出。那是棵梧桐树。
I’ve been sitting here for hours now, just staring out the window at the tree. It may be little now, but it’ll grow, day by day. And a hundred years from now it’ll reach clear over the rooftops. It’ll be miles in the air! Already I can tell — it’s going to be an amazing, magnificent tree.
现在我已经坐了几个小时，就盯着窗外的树。也许它现在还很小，但它会生长，一天又一天。一百年以后它会到达房顶。在空中几英里高！我现在就知道——它会成为一棵神奇的，壮丽的树。
Bryce finished planting the tree, watered it, cleaned everything up, and then went home. And I just sat there, not knowing what to do.
布莱斯种完了树，浇了水，清理了所有东西，然后回家了。而我就坐在那儿，不知道该做什么。
And I can’t help wondering, a hundred years from now will a kid climb it the way I climbed the one up on Collier Street? Will she see the things I did? Will she feel the way I did?
而我忍不住想知道，一百年后会有一个孩子爬上树，像我爬上科里尔街的那棵树一样吗？她会看见我所看见的吗？
Will it change her life the way it changed mine?
她会和我有一样的感受吗？
I know he’s home because he looks out his window from time to time. A little while ago he put his hand up and waved. And I couldn’t help it — I gave a little wave back.
我知道他在家，因为他时不时地看着窗外。不久前他举起了手挥了挥。而我无法控制——我也挥了挥手。
Maybe it’s time to meet him in the proper light.
也许是时候全面地认识他了。
So maybe I should go over there and thank him for the tree. Maybe we could sit on the porch and talk. It just occurred to me that in all the years we’ve known each other, we’ve never done that. Never really talked.
也许我应该走过去谢谢他的树。也许我们会坐在门廊里聊天。我意识到我们认识对方这么多年，我们从来没这么做过。没真正地交谈过。
I also can’t stop wondering about Bryce. What has he been trying to tell me? What’s he thinking about?
我也忍不住想到布莱斯。他想要告诉我什么呢？他在想什么呢？
Maybe my mother’s right. Maybe there is more to Bryce Loski than I know.
也许我妈妈说对了。也许我并不了解布莱斯·洛世奇的全部。
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