“Is Britt-Marie still here?” she says, with a nod towards the door.
“布里特—玛丽还在外面？”她朝门外点了点头。
Elsa has a thousand questions about what Alf just said, but doesn’t ask any of them because Mum is so tired once they’ve gone up into the flat that she and Halfie have to go straight to bed. Mum gets like that these days, tired as if someone pulled the plug. It’s Halfie’s fault, apparently. George says that to compensate for Halfie keeping them awake for the next eighteen years, Halfie is making Mum fall asleep all the time for the first nine months. Elsa sits on the edge of the bed stroking her hair; Mum kisses her hands, whispering, “It will get better, darling. It will be fine.” Like Granny used to say. And Elsa wants so, so much to believe that. Mum smiles sleepily.
爱莎对阿尔夫说的话有一千个疑问，但妈妈太累了，一回到家，她和“小半”就直接去睡觉了。妈妈这些日子总这样，累得像是有人拔掉了她的电源。据说这是“小半”的错。乔治说，为了补偿“小半”会让他们在未来的十八年里都睡不着，所以“小半”让妈妈在最初的九个月里一直睡觉。爱莎坐在床沿，轻抚着妈妈的头发，而妈妈亲了亲她的手，小声说：“一切都会好的，亲爱的。都会没事的。”就像外婆常说的。爱莎非常、非常想相信。妈妈睡眼蒙眬地笑了笑。
Britt-Marie’s nagging voice emanates from the kitchen, so the question immediately becomes rhetorical. She’s demanding “a decision” from George on Renault, which is still parked in Britt-Marie’s slot in the garage. (“We can’t live without rules, George! Even Ulrika has to understand that!”) George answers cheerfully that he can understand that well enough, because George can understand everyone’s point of view. It’s one of the annoying things about him, and, sure enough, seems to be getting Britt-Marie into a huff. And then George offers her some eggs, which she ignores, insisting instead that all tenants “submit to a full investigation” regarding the stroller, which is still locked up at the bottom of the stairs.
布里特—玛丽的牢骚声从厨房传来，于是这问题立马变成了反问。她正要求乔治针对还停在她车位上的雷诺给她一个“决定”。（“我们不能不守规矩，乔治！即便是乌尔莉卡也得明白这点！”）乔治爽朗地回答他能理解。乔治总是能理解每个人的观点，这是他很招人烦的一点，毫无疑问布里特—玛丽就很不痛快。然后乔治问她要不要来些煎蛋，她无视了这个问题，坚持要对所有的租户都“进行全面盘查”，针对现在还锁在底层的婴儿车。
Elsa laughs. But only a little. And she thinks that the mystery of the locked stroller is like the opening of an insanely awful Agatha Christie novel. Elsa knows that because almost all of Agatha Christie’s novels can be read on the iPad, and Agatha Christie has never had such a stereotypical villain as Britt-Marie. More likely she’d be a victim, because Elsa can imagine a murder mystery in which someone has bludgeoned Britt-Marie to death with a candlestick in the library, and then everyone who knew her would be a suspect because everyone would have a motive: “The hag was a nightmare!” And then Elsa feels a bit ashamed for thinking along these lines. But only a little.
爱莎大笑，但只笑了一会儿。她觉得那辆锁着的谜之婴儿车就像是一本非常糟糕的阿加莎·克里斯蒂小说的开头。几乎所有阿加莎·克里斯蒂的小说都可以在平板电脑上阅读，而阿加莎·克里斯蒂从来没有写过像布里特—玛丽这么老套典型的坏人。她更像是个受害者，爱莎可以想象这样一起神秘谋杀案，有人在图书馆里拿烛台把布里特—玛丽重击致死，而所有认识她的人都有嫌疑，因为每个人都有动机：“这老太婆是场噩梦！”但爱莎又为自己的想法感到点儿羞愧。不过也就一丁点儿。
“Don’t worry, darling, we’ll find a better hiding place for your friend tomorrow,” Mum mumbles half in her sleep, and then adds with a smile: “Maybe we can hide it in the stroller?”
“别担心，宝贝，我们明天会帮你的朋友找个更好的地方藏。”妈妈睡意满满地说，然后又笑了笑，“也许我们可以把它藏在婴儿车里？”
“She’s still just a nagging old busybody,” Elsa mutters.
“就算这样，她仍然是个爱管闲事的刻薄老太。”爱莎小声念叨。
Mum smiles. And then she gets comfortable on the pillows and Elsa helps her push one of them under her back, and Mum strokes her cheek and whispers: “I want to hear the stories now, if that’s all right. I want to hear the fairy tales from Miamas.”
妈妈笑了。她在枕头上躺舒服，爱莎帮她在背部塞了个枕头。妈妈拍了一下爱莎的脸蛋，低声说：“我现在想听那些故事了，如果可以的话。我想听密阿玛斯的童话故事。”
“Britt-Marie doesn’t mean any harm, she just needs to feel important,” Mum tries to explain.
“布里特—玛丽没有恶意，她只是想引起别人的关注。”妈妈解释道。
Mum’s hand fumbles for her as she’s standing up, and just as Elsa is about to go, Mum whispers in a half-asleep state: “All the photos on the ceiling in your grandmother’s bedroom, darling. All the children in the photos. They were the ones who came to the funeral today. They’re grown-up now. They were allowed to grow up because your granny saved their lives…”
她站起身正要离开时，妈妈在半梦半醒间用手摸索到她，低声说：“你外婆卧室天花板上的照片，宝贝，照片里的所有孩子。他们就是今天来葬礼的人。他们现在都长大了。这些孩子之所以能长大，都是因为你外婆救了他们的命…”
And Elsa still has a thousand questions but does not ask any of them. She just covers Mum and Halfie with the blanket and kisses Mum on the cheek and forces herself to be brave. Because she has to do what Granny made her promise to do: protect the castle, protect her family, protect her friends.
爱莎还有一千个问题，但没有问出任何一个。她只是给妈妈和“小半”盖上毯子，亲了一下妈妈的脸颊，强迫自己鼓起勇气，因为外婆曾让她发过誓：保护城堡，保护她的家人，保护她的朋友。
And then Elsa whispers calmly that Mum has to close her eyes but only halfway, and then Mum does as she says, and Elsa has a thousand questions but does not ask any of them. Instead she talks about the cloud animals and the enphants and the regretters and lions and trolls and knights and the Noween and Wolfheart and the snow-angels and the sea-angel and the dream hunters, and she starts talking about the Princess of Miploris and the two princelings who fought for her love, and the witch who stole the princess’s treasure, but by then Mum and Halfie are asleep.
爱莎用平静的声音叫妈妈半闭上眼睛，妈妈照做了，爱莎有一千个问题，但一个都不打算问。她说着云兽、蚁象、憾马、狮子、巨魔、骑士、诺温、狼心、雪天使、海天使，以及捕梦人的故事，她说到了密普洛瑞斯的公主和那两个为她而战的王子，而女巫偷走了公主的宝物。但说到这里时，妈妈和“小半”已经睡着了。
“No shit, Sherlock,” whispers Elsa as she switches off the lamp. Because it wasn’t so hard working out who the strangers were. It was forgiving them that was hard.
“我知道。”爱莎关上了灯。看出那些陌生人是谁并不难，困难的是原谅他们。
And then Mum is asleep again. Elsa is not entirely sure that she even woke up.
然后妈妈又睡过去了。爱莎不太肯定，她之前是不是醒过。
Mum sleeps with a smile on her lips. Elsa carefully shuts the door.
妈妈带着微笑入睡。爱莎小心地关上门。
She goes out the door, into the stairwell, thinking to herself that she’ll go back to the wurse in the garage. But instead, she sinks listlessly onto the floor. Sits there forever. Tries to think but only finds emptiness and silence where usually there are thoughts.
爱莎走出门，走进楼梯间，想回车库看看呜嘶。然而，她却无精打采地坐在了地上，一直坐在那儿。她想要思考，但本该思绪万千的脑海里却只有空虚和寂静。
The flat smells of dishcloth, and George is collecting used coffee cups. The strangers were all here today drinking coffee after the funeral. They smiled sympathetically at Elsa and Elsa hates them for it. Hates that they knew Granny before she did. She goes into Granny’s flat and lies on Granny’s bed. The streetlight outside plays against the photos on the ceiling, and, as she watches, Elsa still doesn’t know if she can forgive Granny for leaving Mum on her own so she could save other children. She doesn’t know if Mum can forgive it either. Even if she seems to be trying.
公寓里一股洗碗布的气味，乔治正在收拾用过的咖啡杯。今天葬礼之后，那些陌生人都在这里喝咖啡。他们冲着爱莎露出同情的笑容，爱莎因此恨他们。恨他们比她早认识外婆。她走进外婆的公寓，躺在外婆的床上。屋外的街灯照着天花板上的照片，爱莎看着它们，依旧不知道自己能否原谅外婆，原谅她为了救别的孩子而抛下妈妈一个人。她也不知道妈妈是否能原谅，即使她看起来在试着这么做。
“You were at the funeral?”
“你在葬礼上？”
She looks small. Sounds tired, but it’s a different kind of tiredness than usual. A better tiredness, this time. And she smells of neither mint nor wine. Just shampoo.
她看上去小小的，声音听着很累，但不是以前那种疲累。一种健康的累。她的身上既没有薄荷味也没有酒味，只有洗发水的气味。
“Hello,” says Elsa.
“你好。”爱莎说。
“I don’t know.”
“我不知道。”
She can hear the footsteps coming from a couple floors down — soft, padding gently, as if they’re lost. Not at all the self-assured, energetic pacing the woman in the black skirt used to have when she was still smelling of mint and talking into a white cable. She wears jeans now. And no white cable. She stops about ten steps below Elsa.
她听见从楼下传来的脚步声——轻巧、柔和，像是迷了路。不是以前黑裙女人散发着薄荷味、对着白色耳机线说话时的那种自信、有力的脚步声。她现在穿牛仔裤了，不戴白色耳机线。她在爱莎下方几级台阶处停下脚步。
The woman’s lips disappear.
女人抿紧了嘴唇。
“Hi,” says the woman.
“你好。”女人说。
The woman shakes her head apologetically. “I wasn’t there. Sorry. I… I couldn’t. But I…” She swallows the words. Looks down at her hands. “I went to my… my boys’ graves. I haven’t been there in a very long time.”
女人抱歉地摇摇头。“我不在，对不起，我…我去不了。但是我…”她吞下话头，看着自己的双手，“我去了我…我儿子们的坟墓。我很久没有去了。”
“I went to the churchyard today,” says the woman slowly.
“我今天去墓地了。”女人慢慢地说。
“Did it help?” asks Elsa.
“有帮助吗？”爱莎问。
Elsa nods. The lights in the stairwell go out. She waits for her eyes to grow accustomed to the darkness. Finally the woman seems to gather all her strength into a smile, and the skin around her mouth doesn’t crack quite as much anymore.
爱莎点点头。楼梯间的灯灭了。她等着自己的眼睛适应黑暗。最后，女人用尽全身的力气挤出了一个微笑，唇边的皮肤似乎不像之前僵硬得那么严重了。
“How was the funeral?” she asks.
“葬礼怎么样？”她问。
Elsa doesn’t respond. The woman seems to become ill at ease.
爱莎没有回答。女人变得局促不安。
Elsa lets her hair fall over her face. The woman scratches her neck.
爱莎让头发垂下，盖住自己的脸。女人挠了挠她的脖子。
“You look angry.”
“你好像很生气。”
“It’s… I understand it’s hard. To know that your granny left home to help strangers somewhere else… Me, for instance.”
“这…我明白这很难受。知道你外祖母离开家去帮助其他地方的人…比如…我。”
The woman looks slightly confused and glances down at what she’s holding in her hands. Her fingers drum against it.
女人面露迷惑，低头看着她手里拿的东西。手指在那上头轻轻敲打。
Elsa looks slightly suspicious. It’s as if the woman read her thoughts.
爱莎对此有点儿怀疑。女人像是在读她的心思。
Elsa shrugs. “Like a normal funeral. Far too many people.”
爱莎耸耸肩。“跟普通的葬礼一样。人太多了。”
“Sometimes it’s hard to share one’s sorrow with people one doesn’t know. But I think… there were many people who were very fond of your grandmother.”
“有时候很难跟不认识的人分担悲痛。但我觉得…有很多人都很喜欢你的外祖母。”
“I’m not angry at you. I’m just angry at stupid Britt-Marie,” she decides to say in the end.
“我不是对你生气，我只是在气那个傻瓜布里特—玛丽。”她最终决定这么选择。
“It’s known as ‘the trolley problem.’ In ethics. I mean, for students. At university. It’s… it’s the discussion of whether it’s morally right to sacrifice one person in order to save many others. You can probably read about it on Wikipedia.”
“这被称为‘电车难题’，在伦理学上。我是指，学生们，在大学里。它讨论了为救很多人而牺牲一个人在道德上是不是正确的。你可以在维基百科上查到这个。”
Elsa shrugs and tries to decide what she’s most angry about. There’s a fairly long list.
爱莎耸耸肩，想弄明白她到底最气哪件事。这清单很长。
“What are you talking about?” Elsa bursts out, secretly pleased that the woman speaks to her as if Elsa is not a child.
“你在说什么？”爱莎脱口而出，暗自高兴那女人对她说话时不把她当成小孩。
“Sorry, that’s… that was Nietzsche. He was a German philosopher. It’s… ah, I’m probably misquoting him. But I think it could mean that if you hate the one who hates, you could risk becoming like the one you hate.”
“不好意思，那是…那是尼采。他是一个德国哲学家。这是…哈…我很可能引用得不太恰当。但我觉得它的意思是如果你恨一个心怀仇恨的人，那你也可能会变成你恨的那个人。”
“Don’t fight with monsters, for you can become one. If you look into the abyss for long enough, the abyss looks into you.”
“与恶魔斗争的人要时刻警惕，以免自己也变成恶魔。如果你久久地注视深渊，那深渊同时也在注视着你。”
Elsa’s shoulders shoot up to her ears.
爱莎耸起肩膀，都快靠近耳朵了。
“Yes, yes, that’s probably a better way of putting it.”
“是啊，是啊，那样说大概更贴切。”
“Granny always said: ‘Don’t kick the shit, it’ll go all over the place!’ ”
“外婆的说法是‘别踢屎，只会弄得到处都是’。”
“This was on my boys’… on their… it was on their headstone. I don’t… don’t know who put it there. But your granny — maybe she figured out that I’d come…”
“这个在我儿子们的…在他们的…他们的墓碑上。我…不知道谁放在那里的。但你外祖母——也许她知道我会…”
And that’s the first time Elsa hears the woman in the black skirt, who now wears jeans, really burst out laughing.
那是爱莎第一次听见黑裙女人，或者现在应该说穿牛仔裤的女人，突然大笑起来。
She’s beautiful when she laughs. It suits her. And then she takes two steps towards Elsa and reaches out as far as she can to give her the envelope that she’s holding, without having to move too close.
她大笑的时候很美，笑容很适合她。她上了两级台阶，靠近爱莎，不想靠得太近，所以尽可能伸长手臂将手中的信递给她。
Lennart is holding a coffee cup in his hand when he opens the door. Maud and Samantha are behind him, both looking very sweet. They smell of cookies.
莱纳特来开门时，手上果然端着一个咖啡杯。莫德和萨曼莎在他身后，三者相得益彰。他们散发着饼干气味。
“I have a letter for you,” Elsa declares.
“我有封信给你。”爱莎宣布。
Elsa takes the envelope. The woman in jeans has disappeared down the stairs before she has time to look up from the envelope. On it, it says, “To Elsa! Give this to Lennart and Maud!”
爱莎接过信封。穿牛仔裤的女人在爱莎看完信还没来得及抬头时就消失在楼下。信封上写着：“爱莎！把这个给莱纳特和莫德！”
And that is how Elsa finds Granny’s third letter.
爱莎就这么得到了外婆的第三封信。
Lennart takes it and is just about to say something, but Elsa goes on: “It’s from my granny! She’s probably sending her regards and saying sorry, because that’s what she’s doing in all the letters.”
莱纳特接过信，正打算说话，但爱莎继续道：“是我外婆给你们的！她大概是要向你们问候并道歉，因为她在每封信里都是这么干的。”
Lennart nods meekly. Maud nods even more meekly.
莱纳特温和地点头。莫德更温和地点点头。
Samantha barks. Even her bark sounds friendly. Elsa takes a dream from the proffered tin, filled to the top. She smiles cooperatively at Maud.
萨曼莎叫了起来，就连它的吠叫声听上去都很友善。爱莎从满满的饼干罐里拿了块“梦想”，她配合地朝莫德微笑。
“I have a friend who likes dreams very much. And he’s been on his own all day. Do you think it would be all right to bring him up?”
“我有个朋友，非常喜欢‘梦想’。它整天一个人待着，把它带上来可以吗？”
Maud and Lennart nod as if it goes without saying.
莫德和莱纳特点点头，像是这理所当然。
“We’re so terribly sad about this whole thing with your grandmother, dear Elsa. But it was such a wonderfully beautiful funeral, we thought. We’re so glad that we were invited. Come in and have a dream — and Alf brought over some of that chocolate drink as well.” Maud beams.
“对于你外祖母这整件事，我们非常遗憾，亲爱的爱莎。但我们觉得，那是场很美的葬礼。很高兴能被邀请。进来，吃块‘梦想’饼干吧，阿尔夫还给了我们一些巧克力饮料。”莫德笑着说。
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