It all starts with the boy waking up late in the afternoon and feeling hungry. The wurse and Samantha come flopping out of the wardrobe because the mulled wine is finished. Elsa marches in circles around Alf and intimates that it’s time to get the Santa suit. Elsa and the wurse follow Alf down to the garage. He gets into Taxi. When Elsa opens the passenger door and sticks her head in and asks what he’s doing, he turns the ignition key and grunts: “If I have to impersonate Santa for the rest of the day, I’m nipping out for a newspaper first.”
一切都始于男孩在傍晚醒来，感觉很饿。因为热红酒喝完了，呜嘶和萨曼莎离开衣橱。爱莎围着阿尔夫打转，通知他现在是穿上圣诞老人装的时候了。爱莎和呜嘶跟着阿尔夫去了车库。他坐进出租车。爱莎打开乘客位的车门，探进脑袋，问他在干什么。他发动引擎，抱怨道：“如果今天接下去都得扮成圣诞老人，那我要先出去买份报纸。”
Only one person collapses with a heart attack late on Christmas Eve. But two hearts are broken. And the house is never quite the same again.
这个圣诞夜有一个人因为心脏病倒下，而两颗心随之破碎。这栋房子再也不是以前的样子了。
“I don’t think my mum wants me to go anywhere.”
“我觉得我妈妈不想我出去的。”
“No one invited you!”
“没人邀请你！”
Elsa and the wurse ignore him and jump in. When Alf starts railing at her that you can’t just jump into people’s cars like that, Elsa says that this is actually Taxi and that is precisely what one does with Taxi. And when Alf grumpily taps the meter and points out that taxi journeys cost money, Elsa says that she’d like to have this taxi journey as her Christmas present. And then Alf looks very grumpy for a long time, and then they go off for Elsa’s Christmas present.
爱莎和呜嘶无视他，一起跳上车。阿尔夫责备她说不能就这样跳上别人的车。爱莎则说，这是辆出租车，人们不正应该这样做嘛。然后阿尔夫气呼呼地打上了表，指出乘坐出租车是要钱的，爱莎说她想要这次出租车之旅做她的圣诞礼物。阿尔夫为此气了好一会儿，随后他们就去兑现爱莎的圣诞礼物了。
“Can I ask you something?” asks Elsa, even though she knows full well that this is also a question. “Why didn’t Britt-Marie spill the beans about the wurse to the police?”
“我能问你点儿事吗？”爱莎说，尽管她很清楚这句话本身就是个问题。“为什么布里特—玛丽没向警察告发呜嘶？”
“She can be a bit of a nagbag sometimes. But she’s not bloody evil,” Alf clarifies.
“她有时候的确是个烦人精，但她不是坏人。”阿尔夫说。
“But she hates dogs,” Elsa persists.
“但她恨狗。”爱莎固执地说。
Alf knows of a kiosk that’s open even on Christmas Eve. He buys a newspaper. Elsa buys two ice creams. The wurse eats all of its own and half of hers. Which, if one knows how much wurses like ice cream, shows how immensely considerate it is being. It spills some of it in the backseat, but Alf only shouts at it for about ten minutes. Which, if one knows how much Alf dislikes wurses spilling ice cream in the backseat of Taxi, shows how immensely considerate he was being.
阿尔夫知道有一家书报亭在圣诞夜还营业。他买了一份报纸，爱莎买了两个冰激凌。呜嘶把自己的那个吃完，又吃了她的半个。鉴于呜嘶对冰激凌的热爱，它还能剩下半个的举动真是十分贴心。吃的过程中，呜嘶洒了一些在后座上，阿尔夫冲它吼了大概十分钟。鉴于阿尔夫超级反感呜嘶把冰激凌洒在出租车后座，只吼十分钟的举动也真是十分贴心。
“Ah, she’s just scared of them. Your granny used to bring back loads of strays to the house when she moved in. We were just little brats back then, Britt-Marie and Kent and me. One of the mutts bit Britt-Marie and her mum made a hell of a commotion about it,” Alf says, a shockingly lengthy description given that it’s coming from Alf.
“哈，她只是怕狗。你外祖母搬进来后，带了很多流浪狗回来。我们那时候还都是小屁孩，布里特—玛丽、肯特和我。那些蠢狗里有一只咬了布里特—玛丽，她妈妈为此大闹了一场。”阿尔夫说，他还从没一口气说过这么长的话。
“So you’ve been in love with Britt-Marie since you were ten years old?” she asks.
“你十岁时，就爱上布里特—玛丽了？”爱莎问。
Taxi pulls into the street. Elsa thinks of Granny’s stories about the Princess of Miploris.
出租车驶进街道。爱莎想到了外婆那些关于密普洛瑞斯公主的故事。
She waits for as long as she needs to.
她耐心等待着。
“Yes,” Alf replies as if it’s absolutely self-evident. Bowled over by this, Elsa looks at him and waits, because she knows that only by waiting will she get him to tell the whole story. You know things like that when you’re almost eight.
“是。”阿尔夫回答，似乎这件事情不言而喻。受到这话的冲击，爱莎看着他并等待着，因为她知道只有等待才能让他说出整个故事。快八岁的小孩明白这道理。
Then after two red lights Alf sighs resignedly, like you do while preparing yourself to tell a story even though you don’t like telling stories. And then he recounts the tale of Britt-Marie. And himself. Although the latter part may not be his intention. There are quite a lot of swearwords in it, and Elsa has to exert herself quite a lot not to correct the grammar. But after a lot of “ifs” and “buts” and quite a few “damneds,” Alf has explained that he and Kent grew up with their mother in the flat where Alf now lives. When Alf was ten, another family moved into the flat above theirs, with two daughters of the same age as Alf and Kent. The mother was a renowned singer and the father wore a suit and was always at work. The elder sister, Ingrid, apparently had an outstanding singing talent. She was going to be a star, her mother explained to Alf and Kent’s mother. She never said anything about the other daughter, Britt-Marie. Alf and Kent caught sight of her anyway. It was impossible not to.
两个红灯之后，阿尔夫无奈地叹了口气，准备说出这个他并不想说出的故事。接着他详细讲述了布里特—玛丽以及他自己的故事，虽然后者也许并非他的本意。讲述中含有太多脏话，爱莎也尽力控制自己不要去纠正他的语法错误。但在许多许多的“如果”“但是”和“见鬼”之后，阿尔夫解释说，他和肯特以及他们的妈妈曾一起在如今阿尔夫住的公寓里生活。阿尔夫十岁时，另一户人家搬进了楼上的房间，他们家有两个跟阿尔夫、肯特同龄的女儿。那位母亲是知名歌手，父亲总是穿着西装去工作。两个女孩中的姐姐叫英格丽德，拥有惊人的歌唱天赋。她将成为一名巨星，她的母亲对阿尔夫和肯特的妈妈这么说过。她从不提起另一个女儿，布里特—玛丽。尽管如此，阿尔夫和肯特还是注意到了她。不可能不注意到。
She wasn’t at home a great deal, of course, and whenever she was, she was always accompanied by outlandish friends and, from time to time, stray dogs. One evening she brought home a large black cur that she’d apparently also won in a game of poker, Alf explains. Alf and Kent and the daughters of the neighboring family only wanted to play with it; they didn’t understand that it was sleeping. Alf was quite certain it never meant to bite Britt-Marie, it was just caught unawares. She was too.
她经常不在家，而在家时，身边总是围着一群异国朋友，时不时还会有几条流浪狗。有一天傍晚，她带了一条巨大的黑色野狗回家，显然也是在一场扑克牌局里赢来的，阿尔夫解释道。阿尔夫、肯特和邻居家的女孩们只是想跟它玩，他们不明白它在睡觉。阿尔夫很肯定，它并不是故意咬布里特—玛丽的，只是有点儿措手不及。她也是。
No one remembers exactly when the young female medical student first showed up in the house. One day she was just there in the enormous flat that took up the entire top floor of the house in those days, and when Alf and Kent’s mother interrogated her about why she lived by herself in such a big flat, the young female medical student replied that she’d “won it in a game of poker.”
没人记得那位年轻的医学院女生第一次出现在房子里是什么时候的事。某一天，她就这么出现在了当时占据公寓楼整个顶层的巨大公寓里。阿尔夫和肯特的妈妈询问过她，为什么她一个人住这么大的一套公寓，那个年轻的医学院女生回答说这房子是她“打扑克赢的”。
The dog disappeared after that. But Britt-Marie’s mother still hated the young medical student, and nothing anyone said could make her change her mind. And then came the car accident in the street just outside the house. Britt-Marie’s mother never saw the truck. The impact shook the whole building. The mother emerged from the front seat of the car with nothing worse than a few grazes, reeling and confused, but no one came out of the backseat. The mother screamed the most terrible of screams when she saw all the blood. The young medical student came running out in her nightie, her whole face full of cinnamon bun crumbs, and she saw the two girls in the backseat. She had no car of her own and she could only carry one girl. She wedged the door open and saw that one of them was breathing and the other wasn’t. She picked up the girl who was still breathing and ran. Ran all the way to the hospital.
后来那条狗就消失了，但布里特—玛丽的妈妈还是非常恨那个年轻的女学生，没人能改变她的想法。然后就发生了那场房子外的车祸。布里特—玛丽的妈妈没有看见那辆卡车。撞击震撼了整栋楼。母亲爬出驾驶座，只有一点儿擦伤、头晕和迷糊，但没人从后座出来。当那位母亲看见到处都是鲜血时，她发出了最可怕的尖叫声。年轻的医学院女生穿着睡衣跑了出来，满脸都是肉桂卷屑。她看见了后座的两个女孩。她没有自己的车，只能带上一个女孩。她撬开车门，看见一个女孩还有呼吸，而另一个没有。她抱起那个还在呼吸的女孩，一路跑去了医院。
A sound comes from Alf’s throat; Elsa can’t quite tell if it’s a cough or a laugh.
阿尔夫的喉咙里发出一个声响，爱莎不确定那是咳嗽还是笑。
“What about you and Britt-Marie?”
“你跟布里特—玛丽呢？”
“Was Kent also in love with Britt-Marie?” she asks at last.
“肯特那时也爱上布里特—玛丽了吗？”
“Kent moved. Got married, too damned young, to a nasty piece of work. Had the twins, David and Pernilla. He loves those kids, but that woman made him bloody unhappy.”
“肯特搬出去，跟个烂人结了婚，太年轻。他们生了对双胞胎，大卫和佩妮拉。他爱那两个孩子，但那个女人让他很不幸福。”
“For what?”
“为什么？”
“What happened then?”
“那后来发生什么了？”
“We were young. People are bloody idiots when they’re young. I went away. She stayed here.”
“我们那时很年轻。人们年轻的时候都是蠢货。我走了，她留在这里。”
“Because she thought your grandmother saved the wrong daughter.”
“因为她觉得你外祖母救错了女孩。”
“Like hell. I won.”
“他赢个屁。我赢了。”
One red light. Another.
经过一个红灯。又一个。
“And Kent won?”
“肯特赢了？”
“We’re brothers. Brothers compete.”
“我们是兄弟。兄弟之间会相互竞争。”
Alf goes silent. Elsa asks what happened to the sister. Alf is silent for three red lights. Then he says, in a voice heavy with bitterness: “It’s a terrible bloody thing when a parent loses a child. That family was never properly whole again. It wasn’t the mother’s fault. It was a bastard car accident, it was no one’s fault. But she probably never got over it. And she damned well never forgave your grandmother.”
阿尔夫陷入了沉默。爱莎问另一个女孩后来怎么了。经过三个红灯之后阿尔夫用十分苦涩的语气说：“父母失去一个孩子是件可怕的事。那个家庭再也不完整了。这不是那位母亲的错。这是场该死的意外，不是任何人的错。但她大概永远也不会释怀，她也永远不会原谅你的外祖母。”
Elsa’s silence feels like a hundred red lights.
爱莎陷入沉默，感觉过了大概一百个红灯。
“Because people are bloody idiots when they’re young.”
“因为年轻人都他妈是蠢货。”
“And Kent?”
“那肯特呢？”
“Bloody long.”
“太久了。”
“For how long?”
“走了多久？”
“What happened to Britt-Marie, then?”
“那后来布里特—玛丽怎么了？”
“You had an affair?”
“你出轨了？”
“Yes.”
“对。”
“Then what did you do?” asks Elsa.
“你后来又做了什么？”爱莎问。
Elsa opens and closes Taxi’s glove compartment.
爱莎打开又关上出租车仪表台上的储物箱。
Red light.
一个红灯。
“To a war.”
“去打仗。”
“Why?”
“为什么？”
“Went away,” he answers.
“走了。”他回答。
Alf pulls his hand through his lack of hair. “I’m old, Elsa. I’ve been a hell of a lot of things.”
阿尔夫摸了摸他的秃脑袋。“我老了，爱莎。经历过很多破事。”
Elsa stares at him. “Were you also a soldier?”
爱莎盯着他。“你也是个士兵？”
“I was on my way home. She was going to come and give me a surprise. And she saw me with another woman.”
“我在回家的路上，她过来想给我个惊喜，结果看见我和另一个女人在一起。”
“He got divorced. Moved back in with Mum. Britt-Marie was still there. Yeah, what the hell, he’d always loved her. So when her parents died they moved into their flat. Kent had got wind of the owners maybe selling the whole place as leasehold flats. So they stayed on and waited for the dough. They got married and Britt-Marie probably wanted children but Kent thought the ones he already had were bloody enough. And now things are the way they are.”
“他离婚了，搬回家跟妈妈一起住。布里特—玛丽也还住在这里。好吧，去他的，他一直都爱着她。所以她父母去世后，他们就搬进他们现在的公寓里了。肯特听说房东可能会把整栋楼作为租赁公寓出售，所以他们就一直住在这儿，等着捞一笔。他们结婚了，布里特—玛丽可能想要孩子，但肯特觉得自己的两个孩子已经够了。所以就变成了现在这个样子。”
“Where did you go?”
“你去哪儿了？”
Alf’s nails wander around his forehead like nails do when wandering among memories and opening doors that have long been closed. “Kent took care of Mum while she was still alive. He’s an idiot but he was always a good son, you can’t take that away from the bastard. Mother never lacked for anything while she was alive. So I took care of her while she was dying.”
阿尔夫的指甲敲着前额，就像在记忆中漫步，打开了一些早已关上的门。“妈妈还活着时，是肯特照顾她的。他是个白痴但一直是个好儿子，你不能否认这一点。母亲活着时从没有缺少过什么。所以她快死时，我回来照顾她。”
“Then I just sort of… stayed on.”
“然后我就…这么待着了。”
“And then?”
“然后呢？”
Elsa looks at him with seriousness. Takes a deep, concluding breath and says: “I like you very much, Alf. But you were a bit of a shit when you went away like that.”
爱莎严肃地看着他，深吸了口气，说：“我很喜欢你，阿尔夫。但你就那么走了，真是个混蛋。”
Alf scratches his head. Doesn’t seem to know the exact answer himself.
阿尔夫挠了挠头，看上去自己都不知道确切的答案。
“Why did you come home from the wars, then?”
“那你后来为什么不打仗回家了？”
Alf coughs or laughs again.
阿尔夫又咳嗽或者笑了一声。
“Some wars finish. And Mum got ill. Someone had to take care of her.”
“有些战争结束了，而妈妈又生病了。总得有人来照顾她。”
“Didn’t Kent do that?”
“肯特不照顾吗？”
After the next red light he mutters: “Britt-Marie took care of your mother when her father died. While your grandmother was still traveling a lot, you know. She wasn’t always the nagbag she is now.”
过了下一个红灯后，他轻声咕哝：“布里特—玛丽在你外祖父死后一直照顾你妈妈。你知道的，那时候你外祖母还经常出远门。她以前不是现在这样的烦人精。”
“I know,” says Elsa.
“我知道。”爱莎说。
“Yes.”
“对。”
“Did your grandmother tell you that?”
“你外祖母告诉你的？”
“I was the treasure, right?”
“我就是那个宝物，对吗？”
“In a way. She told me a story about a princess in a kingdom of sorrow, and two princes who loved her so much that they began to hate each other. And the wurses were driven into exile by the princess’s parents, but then the princess fetched them back when the war came. And about a witch who stole a treasure from the princess.”
“算是吧。她告诉我一个故事，两位王子爱上了悲伤王国的公主，爱得那么深以至于开始仇视彼此。呜嘶被公主的父母流放，但战争开始后，公主就把它们找了回来。还有一个女巫偷走了公主的宝物。”
“She moved away. Went to university. The house went bloody quiet, for a bloody long time. And then she came back with your father and was pregnant.”
“她搬出去，去上大学。这栋房子安静了好长一段时间。后来她和你父亲一起回来，怀孕了。”
“You could make an effort!”
“你应该试试的！”
Alf sighs. “I’m not so big on fairy tales.”
阿尔夫叹了口气。“我不太喜欢童话故事。”
She goes silent. Crosses her arms. Turns to Alf.
她陷入沉默，交叉双臂，转向阿尔夫。
He seems to be looking for the right word. Elsa gives it to him.
他似乎是在寻找适当的词语。爱莎提供给他。
“Needed.”
“被需要。”
“Britt-Marie has given her whole life to being there for a man who is never home, and trying to make someone else’s children love her. When your grandfather died and she could be there for your mother, it was perhaps the first time she felt…”
“布里特—玛丽为了一个永远不在家的男人付出了一生，想让别人的孩子爱她。你外祖父去世时，她陪着你妈妈，这大概是她第一次觉得…”
“And then Mum grew up?”
“妈妈长大之后呢？”
They don’t say a lot more about that. Like you don’t when there’s not a great deal more to be said. Alf briefly puts his hand on his chest, as if something is itching under his jacket.
他们没有再谈起那件事，没什么可说的了。阿尔夫轻拍了一下胸膛，就好像外套下的哪里有些痒。
“Sam. And Wolfheart.”
“像山姆，还有狼心那样。”
“And then your grandmother came home,” says Alf, and stops by a stop sign.
“然后你外祖母回家了。”阿尔夫在一个停车标志前停下。
“You’ve got a massive scar on your chest. I saw it when you were wearing your dressing gown. You really should buy yourself a new dressing gown, by the way.”
“你胸口有条大伤疤。你穿睡袍时，我看见的。顺便说一句，你真的应该买件新睡袍了。”
“Broken like who?”
“什么坏掉？”
“Sam was broken before he became a soldier. And not all soldiers are like that. But if you see the shit those boys saw, you need some help when you get back. And this country’s so bloody willing to put billions into weapons and fighter jets, but when those boys come home and they’ve seen the shit they’ve seen, no one can be bothered to listen to them even for five minutes.”
“山姆在成为士兵前，就已经坏掉了。不是所有士兵都像那样的。但如果你见过那些男孩们见过的事，回来时一定会需要些帮助。这个国家愿意花数十亿在武器和战斗机上，但当这些经历过战争的男孩回家后，却没有人哪怕花五分钟聆听他们。”
“I was never in that sort of war. No one ever fired at me.”
“我从来没有参加过那种战争。没人朝我开过枪。”
“So that’s why you’re not broken?”
“所以你没有坏掉？”
Alf’s gaze becomes somewhat defensive. She shrugs.
阿尔夫的凝视变得有些戒备。她耸了耸肩。
Elsa looks at the zip. “Did you get that scar in a war?”
爱莎看着拉链。“你是在战场上受伤的吗？”
“I was going to be all of Britt-Marie’s second chances,” Elsa says in a low voice, nodding.
“我本来会成为布里特—玛丽的第二次机会。”爱莎低声说，点点头。
He looks gloomily at Elsa.
他阴沉地看着爱莎。
“You know what it is?” Alf asks skeptically.
“你知道那是什么？”阿尔夫怀疑地问。
“But they operate on him and remove the magnet at the end of the third film!” Elsa tells him excitedly, then clears her throat and adds, slightly shamefaced: “Spoiler alert. Sorry.”
“但他们在第三部电影的最后为他动了手术，把磁铁拿掉了！”爱莎激动地告诉他，然后清了清嗓子，有点儿内疚地补充道，“不好意思，剧透了。”
“Oh!”
“哦！”
They drive up the highway while Elsa tells Alf that Iron Man, who’s a kind of superhero, has a type of pacemaker. But really it’s more of an electromagnet, because Iron Man has shrapnel in his heart and without the magnet the shrapnel would cut holes in it and then he’d die. Alf doesn’t look as though he entirely understands the finer points of the story, but he listens without interrupting.
他们驶入高速公路时，爱莎对阿尔夫说了钢铁侠的事，他也算得上是个超级英雄，也有某种起搏器。但其实那更像是一块电磁铁，因为钢铁侠心脏里有弹片，如果没有电磁铁，弹片就会刺破他的心脏，他就会死。阿尔夫看上去并不明白这个故事的亮点，但他还是听着，没有打岔。
“People have to tell their stories, Elsa. Or they suffocate.”
“人们必须说出他们的故事，爱莎，不然会痛苦。”
“You really are a different damned kid.”
“你还真是个另类的孩子。”
“I know.”
“我知道。”
Elsa looks slightly offended.
爱莎露出一副被冒犯的表情。
“It’s good to be different.”
“另类是件好事。”
“It’s a pacemaker.”
“那是个心脏起搏器。”
Alf doesn’t look as if this is concerning him very much. To be entirely honest, he doesn’t look as if he knows exactly what a “spoiler” is, unless it’s a part of a car.
阿尔夫看上去并不在意。老实说，他似乎不明白“剧透”是什么。
“Where did you get the scar, then?”
“那你是在哪儿受伤的？”
It’s snowing again, and Elsa decides that even if people she likes have been shits on earlier occasions, she has to learn to carry on liking them. You’d quickly run out of people if you had to disqualify all those who at some point have been shits. She thinks that this will have to be the moral of this story. Christmas stories are supposed to have morals.
又下雪了，爱莎决定，即使她喜欢的人以前是个混蛋，她还是得学会继续喜欢他们。如果你一定要取消所有那些曾经是混蛋的人的资格，那你很快就没人可喜欢了。她心里想着，这肯定就是这个故事的寓意。圣诞故事应该有寓意。
Alf’s telephone rings from the compartment between the seats. He checks the display, but doesn’t answer. It rings again.
阿尔夫的手机铃声从座位间的储物槽里传出。他看了看屏幕，是肯特的号码。他没有接。电话又响了。
“Aren’t you going to answer?” wonders Elsa.
“你不接吗？”爱莎问。
The telephone rings again; Alf doesn’t answer. It rings a third time. Elsa picks it up, irritated, and answers even though Alf swears at her. There’s a woman at the other end. She’s crying. Elsa hands the phone to Alf. It trembles against his ear. His face becomes transparent.
电话铃又响了，阿尔夫没有理睬。第三次响起时，爱莎生气地接起来，不顾阿尔夫冲她大爆粗口。另一头是个女人的声音。她在哭泣。爱莎把电话递给阿尔夫。手机在他耳边颤抖。他的脸色变得苍白。
It’s Christmas Eve. The taxi makes a U-turn. They go to the hospital.
今天是圣诞夜。出租车掉了个头。他们驶向医院。
“It’s Kent. I suppose he wants to mouth off about some crap to do with the accountant and those leasehold conversion bastards, that’s all he ever thinks about. He can bloody go on about it tomorrow,” mutters Alf.
“是肯特。我猜他要说的，不过就是会计和那些什么租赁转换的屁话，他满脑子都是那个。明天再听也可以。”阿尔夫念叨。
There’s a young woman standing outside the room. She’s crying and she’s beautiful. Smells strongly of perfume. She smiles faintly at Elsa and Elsa smiles back. Alf steps out of the room and nods without smiling at the woman; the woman disappears out the door without meeting his eyes.
房间外站着一个年轻女人，她在哭。她很美，闻上去有很浓的香水味。她虚弱地朝爱莎笑笑，爱莎也回了个微笑。阿尔夫走出房间，冲女人点点头，不带一丝微笑，那女人走进门里，没有直视他的眼睛。
Elsa sits on a bench in a corridor talking to Mum on the telephone, while Alf is in a room talking to a doctor. The nurses think Elsa is a grandchild, so they tell her that he had a heart attack but he’s going to be all right. Kent is going to survive.
爱莎坐在走廊的长椅上，和妈妈打着电话，阿尔夫则在房间里和医生说话。护士以为爱莎是病人的孙女，所以告诉她，他突发心脏病但会没事的。
Alf doesn’t stop for a single red light.
阿尔夫没有在任何一盏红灯前停下。
Alf doesn’t say a word, just marches back to the entrance and out into the parking lot, with Elsa behind him. And only then does Elsa see Britt-Marie. She’s sitting absolutely still on the bench, wearing her floral-print jacket although it’s below freezing. She’s forgotten her brooch. The paintball stain is shining. Britt-Marie’s cheeks are blue and she’s spinning her wedding ring on her finger. She has one of Kent’s shirts in her lap; it smells freshly laundered and has been perfectly ironed.
阿尔夫不发一言，只是向大门走去，走到停车场，爱莎跟在他身后。这时，爱莎才看见布里特—玛丽。她一动不动地坐在长椅上，天寒地冻里只穿着她那件印花外套。她忘了戴胸针。彩弹枪的印迹反着光。布里特—玛丽的脸颊发紫，她转着手指上的结婚戒指，膝上放着肯特的一件衬衫，闻上去洗得干干净净，熨得非常平整。
Then she lifts her chin. Looks old. Every word seems to leave a little track on her face.
然后她抬起下巴，看上去很衰老。每一个说出口的字似乎都在她的脸上留下了一道小小的痕迹。
“Britt-Marie?” Alf’s voice rasps out in the evening gloom, and he stops a yard from her.
“布里特—玛丽？”阿尔夫的声音在暮色中粗哑地响起，他在离她一米远处停下脚步。
She doesn’t answer. Just lets her hand wander over the shirt collar in her lap. Gently brushes away something invisible from a fold. Carefully folds one cuff link under the other. Straightens out a wrinkle that isn’t there.
她没有回答，只是摸着膝上衬衫的领子，从折叠处扫去一些看不见的东西，仔细地将一只袖管叠在另一只下面，拉直一条不存在的皱褶。
“I’ve actually been absolutely brilliant at pretending, Alf,” she whispers firmly.
“我真的很会假装，阿尔夫。”她坚定地低语。
“Britt-Marie –” Alf says quietly, but she interrupts him coldly.
“布里特—玛丽——”阿尔夫小声说，但她冷冰冰地打断了他的话。
Alf doesn’t answer. Britt-Marie looks down into the snow and spins her wedding ring.
阿尔夫没有回答。布里特—玛丽看着雪地，转着她的婚戒。
“When David and Pernilla were small, they always said I was so bad at coming up with stories. I always wanted to read the ones that were in books. They always said, ‘Make one up!’ but I don’t understand why one should sit there and make things up just like that, when there are books where everything has been written down from the very start. I really don’t.” She has raised her voice now. As if someone needed convincing.
“大卫和佩妮拉小时候总说我不会编故事。我想读书里的故事，他们总说‘编一个嘛’。但我不明白，既然一开始书上都已经写好了，怎么还有人能坐在那儿，就那样编造出东西来。我真的不明白。”她的声音变大了，似乎是想要说服谁。
Her voice grows muted. “David and Pernilla never came for Christmas dinner. They were busy, they said. I can understand they’re busy, they’ve been busy for years. So Kent called and said he was staying at the office for a few hours. Just a few hours, he was having another conference call with Germany. Even though it’s actually Christmas in Germany as well. But he never came home. So I tried calling him. He didn’t answer. I left a message. Eventually the telephone rang, but it wasn’t Kent.”
她的声音渐不可闻。“大卫和佩妮拉从不来吃圣诞晚餐。他们说他们很忙。我能理解，他们忙了好多年。肯特打电话来说他要在办公室再待几小时。就几小时，他要和德国人再开个电话会议，即使现在德国也是圣诞节。但他没有回家。我试着打给他。他没接。我发了条信息。最后电话终于响了，但不是肯特。”
“Kent told the children I couldn’t make up stories because I didn’t have any imagination, but it isn’t true. It’s not. I have an absolutely excellent imagination. I am very good at pretending.” Alf runs his fingers across his head and blinks for a long time. Britt-Marie caresses the shirt in her lap as if it were a baby about to go to sleep. “I always bring a newly washed shirt if I’m meeting him somewhere. Because I don’t use perfume.”
“肯特对孩子们说，我编不出故事，是因为我没有一点儿想象力，这不对。错了。我的想象力可丰富了。我很擅长假装。”阿尔夫摸着脑袋，猛眨了好一阵眼睛。布里特—玛丽呵护着膝上的衬衫，仿佛它是将要入睡的婴儿。“如果去别的地方见他，我总会带上一件洗干净的衬衫。因为我不用香水。”
Her lower lip trembles. “I don’t use perfume, but she does. So I always see to it that he has a fresh shirt. That’s all I ask, that he should put his shirt directly in the washing machine when he comes home. Is that so much to ask?”
她的下唇颤抖起来。“我不用香水，但她用。所以我总是确保他有一件干净衬衫。这是我全部的要求，希望他回家时能直接把衬衫放进洗衣机里。这要求过分吗？”
She puts one hand in the other, closes her eyes and adds in a quivering voice: “I have an excellent imagination, actually. It is excellently good. Kent always said he was going for dinners with the Germans or that the plane was delayed by snow or that he was just passing by the office for a bit. And then I pretended I believed it. I pretended so brilliantly that I believed it myself.”
她交叠双手，闭上眼睛，用微颤的声音说：“事实上，我的想象力很丰富。特别丰富。肯特总说他要跟德国人吃饭，或者飞机因为下雪延误了，或者他要顺路去办公室一趟。而我假装我相信了。我装得太好，连自己都相信了。”
“Please, Britt-Marie…”
“布里特—玛丽，别…”
“I know that,” whispers Alf.
“我知道。”阿尔夫小声说。
She rises from the bench, turns around, and hangs the shirt elaborately on the edge of the bench. As if she cannot allow herself even now to take out her feelings on something freshly ironed.
她从长椅上起身，转身，小心翼翼将衬衫挂在长椅的边沿，就仿佛到如今，她还无法舍弃她对平整熨烫过的东西的感情。
“I’m very good at pretending,” she whispers.
“我很擅长假装。”她小声说。
And then they leave the shirt on the bench and go home.
他们将衬衫留在长椅上，回家去了。
She swallows spasmodically and spins her wedding ring. “It was a heart attack. I know that because she called and told me, Alf. She called me. Because she couldn’t stand it, she couldn’t. She said she couldn’t sit there in the hospital and know that maybe Kent would die without my knowing. She simply couldn’t stand it…”
她哽咽地说着，转着她的婚戒：“是心脏病发作。她打电话来告诉我的，阿尔夫。她打给我。因为她受不了，受不了。她说她不能坐在医院里，知道肯特有可能死而我毫不知情。她只是受不了…”
“I don’t hate her and I don’t hate the dog and I don’t hate her car.”
“我不恨她，不恨那条狗，也不恨她的车。”
It has stopped snowing. They travel in silence. Mum comes to meet them at the front entrance. She hugs Elsa. Tries to hug Britt-Marie. Britt-Marie keeps her at a distance. Not vehemently, just with determination.
雪停了。他们一路上都没有说话。妈妈来门口接他们。她抱住爱莎，也想拥抱布里特—玛丽，却被推开。动作不激烈，但很坚决。
Mum nods and takes her hand. Britt-Marie closes her eyes.
妈妈点点头，握住她的手。布里特—玛丽闭上眼睛。
“I know,” Mum says with a slow nod.
“我知道。”妈妈慢慢点头道。
“I don’t hate her, Ulrika,” she says.
“我不恨她，乌尔莉卡。”她说。
“I don’t hate at all, Ulrika. I actually don’t. I only wanted you to listen to me. Is that so much to ask? I just didn’t want you to leave the car in my place. I actually just didn’t want you to come and take my place.” She spins her wedding ring.
“我什么都不恨，乌尔莉卡。我真的不恨。我只想你听我说话。这要求过分吗？我只是不想你把车停在我的车位。事实上我不想你跑来占据我的位置。”她转着她的婚戒。
Mum leads her up the stairs, her hand firmly but lovingly around the floral-print jacket. Alf never shows up in the flat, but Santa does. The boy with a syndrome’s eyes light up as children’s eyes do when someone tells them about ice cream and fireworks and climbing trees and splashing about in puddles.
妈妈领着她上楼，一只手坚定而温柔地环绕着她的印花外套。阿尔夫没来公寓，但圣诞老人来了。生病男孩的眼睛亮了，就和有人在跟他聊冰激凌、烟火、爬树和踩水坑时一样。
Maud sets an extra place at the table and gets out more gratin. Lennart puts on more coffee. George washes up. After the parcels have been handed around, the boy and the woman in the black skirt sit on the floor and watch Cinderella on the TV.
莫德在桌边多摆出一套备用餐具，端出更多的奶油烤菜。莱纳特又倒了一些咖啡。乔治在洗碗。互相赠送完礼物，男孩和黑裙女人坐在地板上，看着电视里的《灰姑娘》。
And when the evil stepmother turns up in Cinderella, and Britt-Marie discreetly gets up and straightens out a crease in her skirt and goes into the front hall to cry, Elsa follows her.
《灰姑娘》里的邪恶继母出场时，布里特—玛丽悄悄站起身，拉直裙子上的一道皱褶，走去玄关，开始哭泣，爱莎跟着她。
Britt-Marie sits slightly ill at ease next to Elsa on the sofa. They peer at one another. They don’t say anything, but probably this is their cessation of hostilities. So when Elsa’s mum tells her she has to stop eating chocolate Santas now or she’ll get a stomachache, and Elsa keeps eating them, Britt-Marie doesn’t say anything.
布里特—玛丽有些局促不安地坐在沙发上，爱莎的身旁。她们凝视着对方，没有说话，但这大概就是她们的暂时和解。所以，当爱莎妈妈叫爱莎不许再吃巧克力圣诞老人，不然她会胃痛的时候，爱莎还是没停下，而布里特—玛丽也没有说话。
And they sit on the chest together and eat chocolate Santas.
然后她们一起坐在箱子上，吃着巧克力圣诞老人。
Because you can be upset while you’re eating chocolate Santas. But it’s much, much, much more difficult.
因为，吃着巧克力圣诞老人时，虽然你还是会伤心，但会困难得多得多。
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