The morning I spotted Tony Gardner sitting among the tourists, spring was just arriving here in Venice. We’d completed our first full week outside in the piazza — a relief, let me tell you, after all those stuffy hours performing from the back of the cafe, getting in the way of customers wanting to use the staircase. There was quite a breeze that morning, and our brand-new marquee was flapping all around us, but we were all feeling a little bit brighter and fresher, and I guess it showed in our music.
我发现托尼·加德纳坐在游客当中的那天早上，春天刚刚降临威尼斯这里。我们搬到外面广场上来刚好一个星期——跟你说，真是松了口气，在咖啡厅的最里面演奏又闷又挡着要用楼梯的客人的路。那天早上微风习习，崭新的帐篷在我们身边啪啪作响，我们都觉得比平时更加愉悦和精神，我想这种心情一定反映在我们的音乐里了。
But here I am talking like I’m a regular band member. Actually, I’m one of the “gypsies,” as the other musicians call us, one of the guys who move around the piazza, helping out whichever of the three cafe orchestras needs us. Mostly I play here at the Caffè Lavena, but on a busy afternoon, I might do a set with the Quadri boys, go over to the Florian, then back across the square to the Lavena. I get on fine with them all — and with the waiters too — and in any other city I’d have a regular position by now. But in this place, so obsessed with tradition and the past, everything’s upside down. Anywhere else, being a guitar player would go in a guy’s favour. But here? A guitar! The cafe managers get uneasy. It looks too modern, the tourists won’t like it. Last autumn I got myself a vintage jazz model with an oval sound-hole, the kind of thing Django Reinhardt might have played, so there was no way anyone would mistake me for a rock-and-roller. That made things a little easier, but the cafe managers, they still don’t like it. The truth is, if you’re a guitarist, you can be Joe Pass, they still wouldn’t give you a regular job in this square.
瞧我说得好像我是乐队的固定成员似的。事实上，我只是那些个“吉卜赛人”中的一个，别的乐手这么称呼我们，我只是那些个奔走于广场、三个咖啡厅的管弦乐队里哪个缺人，就去哪里帮忙的人中的一个。我主要在这家拉弗娜咖啡厅演奏，但若遇上忙碌的下午，我就要先和夸德里的小伙子们演奏一组，然后到弗洛里安去，再穿过广场回到拉弗娜。我和这三支乐队都相处得很好——和咖啡厅的服务生们也是——在别的哪个城市，我早就有固定职位了。可是在这里，传统和历史根深蒂固，事情都倒过来了。在其他地方，吉他手可是受人欢迎的。可是在这里？吉他手！咖啡厅的经理们不自在了。吉他太现代了，游客不会喜欢的。去年秋天，我弄来了一把老式椭圆形音孔的爵士吉他，像强哥·莱恩哈特[1]弹的那种，这样大家就不会把我当成摇滚乐手了。事情容易了些，可经理们还是不喜欢。总之，实话告诉你吧：倘若你是个吉他手，就算你是吉他大师乔·帕斯，也甭想在这个广场找到一份固定工作。【注：[1] 二十世纪欧洲爵士吉他巨匠，吉卜赛人，出生于比利时。】
There’s also, of course, the small matter of my not being Italian, never mind Venetian. It’s the same for that big Czech guy with the alto sax. We’re well liked, we’re needed by the other musicians, but we don’t quite fit the official bill. Just play and keep your mouth shut, that’s what the cafe managers always say. That way the tourists won’t know you’re not Italian. Wear your suit, sunglasses, keep the hair combed back, no one will know the difference, just don’t start talking.
当然了，还有另外一个小小的原因：我不是意大利人，更别说是威尼斯人。那个吹中音萨克斯风的捷克大个子情况和我一样。大伙儿都喜欢我们，乐队需要我们，可我们就是不符合正式要求。咖啡厅的经理们总是告诉你：闭上你的嘴，只管演奏就是了。这样游客们就不会知道你不是意大利人了。穿上你的制服，戴上你的太阳镜，头发往后梳，没有人看得出来，只要别开口说话。
But I don’t do too bad. All three cafe orchestras, especially when they have to play at the same time from their rival tents, they need a guitar — something soft, solid, but amplified, thumping out the chords from the back. I guess you’re thinking, three bands playing at the same time in the same square, that would sound like a real mess. But the Piazza San Marco’s big enough to take it. A tourist strolling across the square will hear one tune fade out, another fade in, like he’s shifting the dial on a radio. What tourists can’t take too much of is the classical stuff, all these instrumental versions of famous arias. Okay, this is San Marco, they don’t want the latest pop hits. But every few minutes they want something they recognise, maybe an old Julie Andrews number, or the theme from a famous movie. I remember once last summer, going from band to band and playing “The Godfather” nine times in one afternoon.
可是我混得还不错。三支乐队都需要吉他手，特别是当他们与竞争对手同时演奏的时候，他们需要一个轻柔、纯净，但是传得远的声音作背景和弦。我猜你会想：三支乐队同时在一个广场上演奏，听起来多混乱啊。可是圣马可广场很大，没有问题。在广场上溜达的游客会听见一个曲子渐渐消失，另一个曲子渐渐大声，就好像他在调收音机的台。会让游客们受不了的是你演奏太多古典的东西，这些乐器演奏版的著名咏叹调。得了，这里是圣马可，游客们不想听最新的流行音乐。可是他们时不时要一些他们认得的东西，比如朱莉·安德鲁斯[2]的老歌，或者某个著名电影的主题曲。我记得去年夏天有一次，我奔走于各个乐队间，一个下午演奏了九遍《教父》。【注：[2] 英国著名电影和舞台剧演员、歌唱家。】
Anyway there we were that spring morning, playing in front of a good crowd of tourists, when I saw Tony Gardner, sitting alone with his coffee, almost directly in front of us, maybe six metres back from our marquee. We get famous people in the square all the time, we never make a fuss. At the end of a number, maybe a quiet word will go around the band members. Look, there’s Warren Beatty. Look, it’s Kissinger. That woman, she’s the one who was in the movie about the men who swap their faces. We’re used to it. This is the Piazza San Marco after all. But when I realised it was Tony Gardner sitting there, that was different. I did get excited.
总之就是在这样一个春天的早晨，当我们在一大群游客面前演出的时候，我突然看见托尼·加德纳，独自一人坐在那里，面前放着一杯咖啡，差不多就在我们的正前方，离我们的帐篷大概只有六米远。广场上总是能看见名人，我们从来不大惊小怪。只在演奏完一曲后，乐队成员间私下小声说几句。看，是沃伦·比蒂[3]。看，是基辛格。那个女人就是在讲两个男人变脸的电影里出现过的那个。我们对此习以为常。毕竟这里是圣马可广场。可是当我发现坐在那里的是托尼·加德纳时，情况就不一样了，我激动极了。【注：[3] 美国著名演员、导演。】
Tony Gardner had been my mother’s favourite. Back home, back in the communist days, it had been really hard to get records like that, but my mother had pretty much his whole collection. Once when I was a boy, I scratched one of those precious records. The apartment was so cramped, and a boy my age, you just had to move around sometimes, especially during those cold months when you couldn’t go outside. So I was playing this game jumping from our little sofa to the armchair, and one time I misjudged it and hit the record player. The needle went across the record with a zip — this was long before CDs — and my mother came in from the kitchen and began shouting at me. I felt so bad, not just because she was shouting at me, but because I knew it was one of Tony Gardner’s records, and I knew how much it meant to her. And I knew that this one too would now have those popping noises going through it while he crooned those American songs. Years later, when I was working in Warsaw and I got to know about black-market records, I gave my mother replacements of all her worn-out Tony Gardner albums, including that one I scratched. It took me over three years, but I kept getting them, one by one, and each time I went back to see her I’d bring her another.
托尼·加德纳是我母亲最喜爱的歌手。在我离开家之前，在那个共产主义时代，那样的唱片是很难弄到的，可我母亲有他几乎所有的唱片。小时候我刮坏过一张母亲的珍贵收藏。我们住的公寓很挤，可像我那个年纪的男孩子有时就是好动，尤其是在冬天不能出去的时候。所以我就从家里的小沙发跳到扶手椅上这样玩，有一次，我不小心撞到了唱片机。唱针“嗞”的一声划过唱片——那时还没有CD——母亲从厨房里出来，冲我大声嚷嚷。我很伤心，不是因为她冲我大声嚷嚷，而是因为我知道那是托尼·加德纳的唱片，我知道那张唱片对她来说多么重要。我还知道从此以后，当加德纳轻声吟唱那些美国歌曲时，唱片就会发出“嗞嗞”的声音。多年以后，我在华沙工作时得知了黑市唱片，我给母亲买了所有的托尼·加德纳的唱片，代替旧的那些，包括我刮坏的那一张。我花了三年才买齐，可我坚持不懈地买，一张张地买，每次回去看望她都带回去一张。
So you see why I got so excited when I recognised him, barely six metres away. At first I couldn’t quite believe it, and I might have been a beat late with a chord change. Tony Gardner! What would my dear mother have said if she’d known! For her sake, for the sake of her memory, I had to go and say something to him, never mind if the other musicians laughed and said I was acting like a bell-boy.
现在你知道当我认出托尼·加德纳时为什么会那么激动了吧，就在六米以外啊。起初我不敢相信，我换一个和弦时一定慢了一拍。是托尼·加德纳！我亲爱的母亲要是知道了会说什么啊！为了她，为了她的回忆，我一定要去跟托尼·加德纳说句话，才不管其他乐手会不会笑话我，说我像个小听差。
But of course I couldn’t just rush over to him, pushing aside the tables and chairs. There was our set to finish. It was agony, I can tell you, another three, four numbers, and every second I thought he was about to get up and walk off. But he kept sitting there, by himself, staring into his coffee, stirring it like he was really puzzled by what the waiter had brought him. He looked like any other American tourist, dressed in a pale-blue polo shirt and loose grey trousers. His hair, very dark, very shiny on those record covers, was almost white now, but there was still plenty of it, and it was immaculately groomed in the same style he’d had back then. When I’d first spotted him, he’d had his dark glasses in his hand — I doubt if I’d have recognised him otherwise — but as our set went on and I kept watching him, he put them on his face, took them off again, then back on again. He looked preoccupied and it disappointed me to see he wasn’t really listening to our music.
但是我当然不可能推开桌椅，朝他冲过去。我还得把演出演完。跟你说，真是痛苦极了，还有三四首歌，每一秒钟我都以为他要起身离开了。可是他一直坐在那里，独自一人，盯着眼前的咖啡，搅呀搅，好像搞不清楚服务生给他端来的到底是什么东西。他的装扮与一般的美国游客一样，浅蓝色的套头运动衫、宽松的灰裤子。以前唱片封面上又黑又亮的头发如今几乎都白了，但还挺浓密，而且梳得整整齐齐，发型也没有变。我刚认出他时，他把墨镜拿在手里——他要是戴着墨镜我不一定能认出来——但是后来我一边演奏一边盯着他，他一会儿把墨镜戴上，一会儿拿下来，一会儿又戴上。他看上去心事重重，而且没有认真在听我们演奏，让我很是失望。
Then our set was over. I hurried out of the tent without saying anything to the others, made my way to Tony Gardner’s table, then had a moment’s panic not knowing how to start the conversation. I was standing behind him, but some sixth sense made him turn and look up at me — I guess it was all those years of having fans come up to him — and next thing I was introducing myself, explaining how much I admired him, how I was in the band he’d just been listening to, how my mother had been such a fan, all in one big rush. He listened with a grave expression, nodding every few seconds like he was my doctor. I kept talking and all he said every now and then was: “Is that so?” After a while I thought it was time to leave and I’d started to move away when he said:
这组歌曲终于演完了。我什么也没有对其他人说，匆匆走出帐篷，朝托尼·加德纳的桌子走去，突然想到不知如何与他攀谈，心里紧张了一下。我站在他的身后，他的第六感却让他转过身来，看着我——我想这是出于多年来有歌迷来找他的习惯——接着我就介绍自己，告诉他我多么崇拜他，我在他刚刚听的那个乐队里，我母亲是他热情的歌迷等等，一古脑儿全都说了。他表情严肃地听着，时不时点点头，好像他是我的医生。我不停地讲，他只偶尔说一声：“是吗？”过了一会儿我想我该走了，转身要离开，突然听见他说：
“So you come from one of those communist countries. That must have been tough.”
“你说你是从波兰来的。日子一定不好过吧？”
“That’s all in the past.” I did a cheerful shrug. “We’re a free country now. A democracy.”
“都过去了。”我笑笑，耸了耸肩。“如今我们是个自由的国家了。一个民主的国家。”
“That’s good to hear. And that was your crew playing for us just now. Sit down. You want some coffee?”
“那太好了。那就是刚刚为我们演奏的你的同仁吧。坐下。来杯咖啡？”
I told him I didn’t want to impose, but there was now something gently insistent about Mr. Gardner. “No, no, sit down. Your mother liked my records, you were saying.”
我说我不想叨扰他，可是加德纳先生的语气里有丝丝温和的坚持。“不会，不会，坐下。你刚才说你母亲喜欢我的唱片。”
So I sat down and told him some more. About my mother, our apartment, the black-market records. And though I couldn’t remember what the albums were called, I started describing the pictures on their sleeves the way I remembered them, and each time I did this, he’d put his finger up in the air and say something like: “Oh, that would be Inimitable. The Inimitable Tony Gardner.” I think we were both really enjoying this game, but then I noticed Mr. Gardner’s gaze move off me, and I turned just in time to see a woman coming up to our table.
于是我就坐了下来，接着说。说我的母亲、我们住的公寓、黑市上的唱片。我记不得那些唱片的名字，但我能够描述我印象中那些唱片套子的样子，每当我这么做时，他就会举起一根手指说“哦，那张是《独一无二》。《独一无二的托尼·加德纳》”之类的。我觉得我们俩都很喜欢这个游戏，突然我注意到加德纳先生的视线从我身上移开了，我转过头去，刚好看见一个女人朝我们走来。
She was one of those American ladies who are so classy, with great hair, clothes and figure, you don’t realise they’re not so young until you see them up close. Far away, I might have mistaken her for a model out of those glossy fashion magazines. But when she sat down next to Mr. Gardner and pushed her dark glasses onto her forehead, I realised she must be at least fifty, maybe more. Mr. Gardner said to me: “This is Lindy, my wife.”
她是那种非常优雅的美国女人，头发优美，衣服漂亮，身材姣好，不仔细看的话不会发现她们已经不年轻了。远远地看，我还以为是从光鲜的时尚杂志里走出来的模特儿呢。可是当她在加德纳先生身旁坐下，把墨镜推到额头上去时，我发现她至少五十了，甚至不止。加德纳先生对我说：“这位是我的妻子琳迪。”
Mrs. Gardner flashed me a smile that was kind of forced, then said to her husband: “So who’s this? You’ve made yourself a friend.”
加德纳太太朝我敷衍地笑了笑，问她丈夫：“这位是谁？你交了个朋友。”
“That’s right, honey. I was having a good time talking here with… I’m sorry, friend, I don’t know your name.”
“是的，亲爱的。我们聊得正欢呢，我和……抱歉，朋友，我还不知道你的名字呢。”
“Jan,” I said quickly. “But friends call me Janeck.”
“扬，”我立刻答道。“但朋友们都叫我雅内克。”
Lindy Gardner said: “You mean your nickname’s longer than your real name? How does that work?”
琳迪·加德纳说：“你是说你的小名比真名长？怎么会这样呢？”
“Don’t be rude to the man, honey.”
“别对人家无礼，亲爱的。”
“I’m not being rude.”
“我没有无礼。”
“Don’t make fun of the man’s name, honey. That’s a good girl.”
“别取笑人家的名字，亲爱的。这样才是好姑娘。”
Lindy Gardner turned to me with a helpless sort of expression. “You know what he’s talking about? Did I insult you?”
琳迪·加德纳无助地转向我说：“你瞧瞧他说些什么？我冒犯你了吗？”
“No, no,” I said, “not at all, Mrs. Gardner.”
“不，不，”我说，“一点也没有，加德纳太太。”
“He’s always telling me I’m rude to the public. But I’m not rude. Was I rude to you just now?” Then to Mr. Gardner: “I speak to the public in a natural way, sweetie. It’s my way. I’m never rude.”
“他总是说我对歌迷无礼。可是我没有无礼。我刚刚对你无礼了吗？”然后她转向加德纳先生，“我很正常地在跟歌迷讲话，亲爱的。我就是这样讲话的。我从来没有无礼。”
“Okay, honey,” Mr. Gardner said, “let’s not make a big thing of it. Anyhow, this man here, he’s not the public.”
“好了，亲爱的，”加德纳先生说，“别小题大做了。而且，这位先生也不是什么歌迷。”
“Oh, he’s not? Then what is he? A long-lost nephew?”
“哦，他不是歌迷？那他是谁？失散多年的侄子？”
“Be nice, honey. This man, he’s a colleague. A musician, a pro. He’s just been entertaining us all.” He gestured towards our marquee.
“别这么说话，亲爱的。这位先生是我的同行。一位职业乐手。刚刚他在为我们演奏呢。”他指了指我们的帐篷。
“Oh right!” Lindy Gardner turned to me again. “You were playing up there just now? Well, that was pretty. You were on the accordion, right? Real pretty!”
“哦，对！”琳迪·加德纳再次转向我，“刚刚你在那里演奏来着？啊，很好听。你是拉手风琴的？拉得真好！”
“Thank you very much. Actually, I’m the guitarist.”
“谢谢。其实我是弹吉他的。”
“Guitarist? You’re kidding me. I was watching you only a minute ago. Sitting right there, next to the double bass man, playing so beautifully on your accordion.”
“弹吉他的？少来了。一分钟之前我还在看着你呢。就坐在那里，坐在那个拉低音提琴的旁边，手风琴拉得真好。”
“Pardon me, that was in fact Carlo on the accordion. The big bald guy…”
“抱歉，拉手风琴的是卡洛。秃头、个大的……”
“Are you sure? You’re not kidding me?”
“真的？你不是在骗我？”
“Honey, I’ve told you. Don’t be rude to the man.” He hadn’t shouted exactly, but his voice was suddenly hard and angry, and now there was a strange silence. Then Mr. Gardner himself broke it, saying gently:
“亲爱的，我说了，别对人家无礼。”加德纳先生并没有提高音量，可是他的声音突然变得严厉和气愤，接着，出现了一阵异样的沉默。最后，是加德纳先生自己打破了沉默，温柔地说：
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He reached out a hand and grasped one of hers. I’d kind of expected her to shake him off, but instead, she moved in her chair so she was closer to him, and put her free hand over their clasped pair. They sat there like that for a few seconds, Mr. Gardner, his head bowed, his wife gazing emptily past his shoulder, across the square towards the Basilica, though her eyes didn’t seem to be seeing anything. For those few moments it was like they’d forgotten not just me sitting with them, but all the people in the piazza. Then she said, almost in a whisper:
“对不起，亲爱的。我不是有意要训你的。”他伸出一只手去拉妻子的手。我本以为加德纳太太会推开他，没想到她在椅子上挪了挪身子，好靠近加德纳先生一点，然后把另一只手搭在他们握紧的手上。一时间他们就那么坐着，加德纳先生低着头，他妻子的视线越过他的肩膀，出神地看着广场那头的大教堂。她的眼睛虽然看着那里，但却好像并没有真的在看什么。那几秒钟，他们好像不仅忘了同桌的我，甚至忘了整个广场的人。最后加德纳太太轻声说：
“That’s okay, sweetie. It was my fault. Getting you all upset.”
“没关系，亲爱的。是我错了。惹你生气了。”
They went on sitting like that a little longer, their hands locked. Then she sighed, let go of Mr. Gardner and looked at me. She’d looked at me before, but this time it was different. This time I could feel her charm. It was like she had this dial, going zero to ten, and with me, at that moment, she’d decided to turn it to six or seven, but I could feel it really strong, and if she’d asked some favour of me — if say she’d asked me to go across the square and buy her some flowers — I’d have done it happily.
他们又这样手拉着手对坐了一会儿。最后她叹了口气，放开加德纳先生的手，看着我。这次她看我的样子和之前不一样。这次我能感觉到她的魅力，就好像她心里有这么个刻度盘，从一到十，此时，对我，她决定拨到六或七，可我已经觉得够强烈的了，如果此时她叫我为她做些什么——比如说到广场对面帮她买花——我会欣然从命。
“Janeck,” she said. “That’s your name, right? I’m sorry, Janeck. Tony’s right. I’d no business speaking to you the way I did.”
“你说你叫雅内克，是吗？”她说。“对不起，雅内克。托尼说得对。我不应该那样子跟你说话。”
“Mrs. Gardner, really, please don’t worry…”
“加德纳太太，您真的不用担心……”
“And I disturbed the two of you talking. Musicians’ talk, I bet. You know what? I’m gonna leave the two of you to get on with it.”
“我还打扰了你们的谈话。音乐家之间的谈话，我想。好吧，我走了，你们继续聊。”
“No reason to go, honey,” Mr. Gardner said.
“你用不着离开，亲爱的，”加德纳先生说。
“Oh yes there is, sweetie. I’m absolutely yearning to go look in that Prada store. I only came over just now to tell you I’d be longer than I said.”
“用得着，亲爱的。我很想去那家普拉达专卖店看看。我刚刚过来就是要跟你说我会晚一点。”
“Okay, honey.” Tony Gardner straightened for the first time and took a deep breath. “So long as you’re sure you’re happy doing that.”
“好，亲爱的。”托尼·加德纳第一次直了直身子，深吸了一口气。“只要你喜欢就好。”
“I’m gonna have a fantastic time in that store. So you two fellas, you have yourselves a good talk.” She got to her feet and touched me on the shoulder. “You take care, Janeck.”
“我在那家店里会过得很愉快的。你们俩，好好聊吧。”她站起来，拍了一下我的肩膀。“保重，雅内克。”
We watched her walk away, then Mr. Gardner asked me a few things about being a musician in Venice, and about the Quadri orchestra in particular, who’d started playing just at that moment. He didn’t seem to listen so carefully to my answers and I was about to excuse myself and leave, when he said suddenly:
我们看着她走远，接着加德纳先生问了我一些在威尼斯当乐手的事情，特别是夸德里乐队的事，因为他们刚好开始演出。他好像不是特别认真在听我回答，我正准备告辞时，他突然说道：
“There’s something I want to put to you, friend. Let me tell you what’s on my mind and you can turn me down if that’s what you want.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Can I tell you something? The first time Lindy and I came here to Venice, it was our honeymoon. Twenty-seven years ago. And for all our happy memories of this place, we’d never been back, not together anyway. So when we were planning this trip, this special trip of ours, we said to ourselves we’ve got to spend a few days in Venice.”
“我要跟你说一些事，朋友。我想说说我心里的事，你不想听的话我就不说了。”他俯过身来，降低了音量。“事情是这样。我和琳迪第一次到威尼斯来是我们蜜月的时候。二十七年前。为了那些美好的回忆，我们没有再回到这里来过，没有一起回来过。所以当我们计划这次旅行，这次特别的旅行时，我们对自己说我们一定要来威尼斯住几天。”
“It’s your anniversary, Mr. Gardner?”
“是你们的结婚周年纪念啊，加德纳先生？”
“Anniversary?” He looked startled.
“周年纪念？”他很吃惊的样子。
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just thought, because you said this was your special trip.”
“抱歉，”我说。“我以为，因为您说是特别的旅行。”
He went on looking startled for a while, then he laughed, a big, booming laugh, and suddenly I remembered this particular song my mother used to play all the time where he does a talking passage in the middle of the song, something about not caring that this woman has left him, and he does this sardonic laugh. Now the same laugh was booming across the square. Then he said:
他还是吃惊地看着我，突然大笑起来，高声、响亮的笑。我突然想起我母亲以前经常放的一首歌，在那首歌里加德纳先生有一段独白，说什么不在乎恋人已经离他而去之类的，中间就有这种冷笑。现在同样的笑声回荡在广场上。他接着说道：
“Anniversary? No, no, it’s not our anniversary. But what I’m proposing, it’s not so far off. Because I want to do something very romantic. I want to serenade her. Properly, Venice style. That’s where you come in. You play your guitar, I sing. We do it from a gondola, we drift under the window, I sing up to her. We’re renting a palazzo not far from here. The bedroom window looks over the canal. After dark, it’ll be perfect. The lamps on the walls light things up just right. You and me in a gondola, she comes to the window. All her favourite numbers. We don’t need to do it for long, the evenings are still kinda chilly. Just three or four songs, that’s what I have in mind. I’ll see you’re well compensated. What do you say?”
“周年纪念？不，不，不是我们的周年纪念。可是我正在酝酿的这件事，也差不离。因为我要做一件非常浪漫的事。我要给她唱小夜曲。地地道道威尼斯式的。这就需要你的帮助。你弹吉他，我唱歌。我们租条刚朵拉，划到她的窗户下，我在底下唱给她听。我们在这附近租了一间房子。卧室的窗户就临着运河。天黑以后就万事俱备了，有墙上的灯把景物照亮。我和你乘着刚朵拉，她来到窗前。所有她喜欢的歌。我们用不着唱很久，夜里还是有点冷。三四首歌就好，这些就是我心里想的。我会给你优厚的报酬。你觉得呢？”
“Mr. Gardner, I’d be absolutely honoured. As I told you, you’ve been an important figure for me. When were you thinking of doing this?”
“加德纳先生，我荣幸至极。正如我对您说的，您是我心中的一个大人物。您想什么时候进行呢？”
“If it doesn’t rain, why not tonight? Around eight-thirty? We eat dinner early, so we’ll be back by then. I’ll make some excuse, leave the apartment, come and meet you. I’ll have a gondola fixed up, we’ll come back along the canal, stop under the window. It’ll be perfect. What do you say?”
“如果不下雨，就今晚如何？八点半左右？我们晚饭吃得早，那会儿就已经回去了。我找个借口离开房间，来找你。我安排好刚朵拉，我们沿着运河划回来，停在窗户下。不会有问题的。你觉得呢？”
You can probably imagine, this was like a dream come true. And besides, it seemed such a sweet idea, this couple — he in his sixties, she in her fifties — behaving like teenagers in love. In fact it was so sweet an idea it almost, but not quite, made me forget the scene I’d just witnessed between them. What I mean is, even at that stage, I knew deep down that things wouldn’t be as straightforward as he was making out.
你或许可以想象：这就像美梦成真一样。而且这主意多甜蜜啊，这对夫妇——一个六十几岁，一个五十几岁——还像热恋中的年轻人似的。这甜蜜的想法差点儿让我忘了刚才所见的那一幕。可我没忘，因为即便在那时，我心里深知事情一定不完全像加德纳先生说的那样。
For the next few minutes Mr. Gardner and I sat there discussing all the details — which songs he wanted, the keys he preferred, all those kinds of things. Then it was time for me to get back to the marquee and our next set, so I stood up, shook his hand and told him he could absolutely count on me that evening.
接下来我和加德纳先生坐在那里讨论所有的细节——他想唱哪些歌，要什么音高，等等之类。后来时间到了，我该回帐篷去进行下一场演出了。我站起来，和他握了握手，告诉他今天晚上他完全可以信任我。
The streets were dark and quiet as I went to meet Mr. Gardner that night. In those days I’d always get lost whenever I moved much beyond the Piazza San Marco, so even though I’d allowed myself plenty of time, even though I knew the little bridge where Mr. Gardner had told me to be, I was still a few minutes late.
那天晚上我去见加德纳先生时，漆黑的街道十分安静。那个时候，一到离圣马可广场较远的地方我就会迷路，所以尽管我早早出发，尽管我知道加德纳先生告诉我的那座小桥，我还是晚了几分钟。
He was standing right under a lamp, wearing a crumpled dark suit, and his shirt was open down to the third or fourth button, so you could see the hairs on his chest. When I apologised for being late, he said:
加德纳先生站在路灯底下，穿着一件皱皱的深色西装，衬衫敞到第三四个扣子处，所以能看见胸口的毛。我为迟到的事向他道歉，他说道：
“What’s a few minutes? Lindy and I have been married twenty-seven years. What’s a few minutes?”
“几分钟算什么？我和琳迪已经结婚二十七年了。几分钟算什么？”
He wasn’t angry, but his mood seemed grave and solemn — not at all romantic. Behind him was the gondola, gently rocking in the water, and I saw the gondolier was Vittorio, a guy I don’t like much. To my face, Vittorio’s always friendly, but I know — I knew back then — he goes around saying all kinds of foul things, all of it rubbish, about people like me, people he calls “the foreigners from the new countries.” That’s why, when he greeted me that evening like a brother, I just nodded, and waited silently while he helped Mr. Gardner into the gondola. Then I passed him my guitar — I’d brought my Spanish guitar, not the one with the oval sound-hole — and got in myself.
他没有生气，但似乎心情沉重——一点儿也不浪漫。他身后的刚朵拉轻轻地在水里摇晃，我看见刚朵拉上的船夫是维托里奥，我很讨厌的一个人。他当着我的面总是一副友好的样子，可是我知道——我知道在我背后——他到处说些难听的话，说像我一样的人的闲话，他把我们这种人称为“新国家来的外地人”。所以那天晚上，当他像兄弟似的跟我打招呼时，我只是点点头，静静地看着他扶加德纳先生上船。然后我把我的吉他递给他——我带了一把西班牙吉他，而不是有椭圆形音孔的那把——自己上了船。
Mr. Gardner kept shifting positions at the front of the boat, and at one point sat down so heavily we nearly capsized. But he didn’t seem to notice and as we pushed off, he kept staring into the water.
加德纳先生在船头不停变换着姿势，然后突然用力地坐下去，船差点翻了。可是他似乎并没有注意到。我们开船了，他一直盯着水面。
For a few minutes we drifted in silence, past dark buildings and under low bridges. Then he came out of his deep thoughts and said:
我们静静地在水上漂着，经过黑色的建筑，穿过低矮的小桥。就这么过了好一会儿，加德纳先生从沉思中回过神来，说道：
“Listen, friend. I know we agreed on a set for this evening. But I’ve been thinking. Lindy loves that song, ‘By the Time I Get to Phoenix.’ I recorded it once a long time ago.”
“听着，朋友。我知道下午我们已经说好了今晚要唱哪几首歌。但是我在想，琳迪喜欢《当我到达凤凰城的时候》这首歌。我很久以前录的一首歌。”
“Sure, Mr. Gardner. My mother always said your version was better than Sinatra’s. Or that famous one by Glen Campbell.”
“我知道，加德纳先生。以前我母亲总说你唱的版本比辛纳特拉[4]的，或者那个家喻户晓的格伦·坎贝尔[5]版的都好听。”【注：[4][5] 二十世纪享有盛誉的美国流行歌手。】
Mr. Gardner nodded, then I couldn’t see his face for a while. Vittorio sent his gondolier’s cry echoing around the walls before steering us round a corner.
加德纳先生点点头，接着有一小会儿我看不见他的脸。维托里奥吆喝了一声，船转弯了，吆喝声在墙壁间回响。
“I used to sing it to her a lot,” Mr. Gardner said. “You know, I think she’d like to hear it tonight. You’re familiar with the tune?”
“以前我经常唱给她听，”加德纳先生说。“所以我想今晚她一定乐意听到这首歌。你记得调子吗？”
My guitar was out of the case by this time, so I played a few bars of the song.
此时我已经把吉他拿出来了，我就弹了几小节。
“Take it up,” he said. “Up to E-flat. That’s how I did it on the album.”
“高一点，”他说。“升到降E调。我在唱片里就是这么唱的。”
So I played the chords in that key, and after maybe a whole verse had gone by, Mr. Gardner began to sing, very softly, under his breath, like he could only half remember the words. But his voice resonated well in that quiet canal. In fact, it sounded really beautiful. And for a moment it was like I was a boy again, back in that apartment, lying on the carpet while my mother sat on the sofa, exhausted, or maybe heartbroken, while Tony Gardner’s album spun in the corner of the room.
于是我就用降E调弹了起来，弹了差不多整个主歌的部分以后，加德纳先生唱了起来，很轻很柔地，像是只记得一部分歌词。可是他的声音还是清晰地回响在安静的运河上。而且真是太好听了。一时间我仿佛又回到了童年，回到了那个公寓，躺在地毯上，而我母亲坐在沙发上，筋疲力尽，或者伤心无比地听着托尼·加德纳的唱片在房间的角落里旋转着。
Mr. Gardner broke off suddenly and said: “Okay. We’ll do ‘Phoenix’ in E-flat. Then maybe ‘I Fall in Love Too Easily,’ like we planned. And we’ll finish with ‘One for My Baby.’ That’ll be enough. She won’t listen to any more than that.”
加德纳先生突然停下来，说道：“很好。《凤凰城》我们就用降E调。然后是《我太易坠入爱河》，如我们计划的那样。最后是《给我的宝贝》。这样就够了。她不会想听再多的了。”
He seemed to sink back into his thoughts after that, and we drifted along through the darkness to the sound of Vittorio’s gentle splashes.
说完，加德纳先生又陷入了沉思，我们在黑暗中慢慢地往前漂去，只听见维托里奥轻轻泼溅起的水声。
“Mr. Gardner,” I said eventually, “I hope you don’t mind me asking. But is Mrs. Gardner expecting this recital? Or is this going to be a wonderful surprise?”
“加德纳先生，”我终于忍不住问道，“希望您别介意我这么问，可是加德纳太太知道今晚的表演吗？还是说这会是个惊喜？”
He sighed heavily, then said: “I guess we’d have to put this in the wonderful surprise category.” Then he added: “Lord knows how she’ll react. We might not make it all the way to ‘One for My Baby.'”
他深深地叹了口气，说道：“我想应该是属于惊喜这一类的。”他停了一下，又说道，“天晓得她会有什么反应。兴许我们唱不到《给我的宝贝》。”
Vittorio steered us round another corner, and suddenly there was laughter and music, and we were drifting past a large, brightly lit restaurant. Every table seemed taken, the waiters were rushing about, the diners looked very happy, even though it couldn’t have been so warm next to the canal at that time of year. After the quiet and the darkness we’d been travelling through, the restaurant was kind of unsettling. It felt like we were the stationary ones, watching from the quay, as this glittering party boat slid by. I noticed a few faces look our way, but no one paid us much attention. Then the restaurant was behind us, and I said:
维托里奥又转了一个弯，突然传来了音乐声和笑声，我们正漂过一家灯火通明的大餐厅。好像客满了，侍者忙碌地穿梭其间，食客们都很开心的样子，尽管那时运河边上还不是非常暖和。我们刚刚一直在宁静和黑暗中行驶，现在看见餐厅显得有些纷乱。感觉好像我们是静止不动的，站在码头上，看着这只闪闪发光的开着派对的船驶过。我注意到有几张脸朝我们这里看了看，可是没有人太在意我们。把餐厅甩在身后以后，我说道：
“It’s funny. Can you imagine what those tourists would do if they realised a boat had just gone by containing the legendary Tony Gardner?”
“真有意思。要是那些游客发现一条载着著名的托尼·加德纳的船刚刚开了过去，不知他们会有什么反应？”
Vittorio, who doesn’t understand much English, got the gist of this and gave a little laugh. But Mr. Gardner didn’t respond for some time. We were back in the dark again, going along a narrow canal past dimly lit doorways, when he said:
维托里奥英语懂的不多，但是他听懂了这句话的大意，笑了一下。而加德纳先生却没有反应。直到我们又驶入黑暗，驶进一条狭窄的河道，驶过沿岸灯光昏暗的门口时，他才说道：
“My friend, you come from a communist country. That’s why you don’t realise how these things work.”
“我的朋友，你是从波兰来的，所以你不知道是怎么一回事。”
“Mr. Gardner,” I said, “my country isn’t communist any more. We’re free people now.”
“加德纳先生，”我说，“我的祖国现在是自由的民族了。”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to denigrate your nation. You’re a brave people. I hope you win peace and prosperity. But what I intended to say to you, friend, what I meant was that coming from where you do, quite naturally, there are many things you don’t understand yet. Just like there’d be many things I wouldn’t understand in your country.”
“抱歉。我没有侮辱你们国家的意思。你们是勇敢的民族。我希望你们赢得和平和繁荣。可是朋友，我想告诉你的是。我想说的是从你来的地方，自然还有很多东西是你不明白的。正如在你们国家也有很多事情我不会明白。”
“I guess that’s right, Mr. Gardner.”
“我想是这样的，加德纳先生。”
“Those people we passed just now. If you’d gone up to them and said, ‘Hey, do any of you remember Tony Gardner?’ then maybe some of them, most of them even, might have said yes. Who knows? But drifting by the way we just did, even if they’d recognised me, would they get excited? I don’t think so. They wouldn’t put down their forks, they wouldn’t interrupt their candlelit heart-to-hearts. Why should they? Just some crooner from a bygone era.”
“我们刚刚经过的那些人。要是你过去问他们：‘嘿，你们还有人记得托尼·加德纳吗？’也许当中一些人，甚至是大部分人，会说记得。谁知道呢？但是像我们刚才那样子经过，就算他们认出了我，他们会兴奋不已吗？我想不会。他们不会放下他们的叉子，不会停下他们的烛光晚餐。为什么要呢？只不过是一个已经过时了的歌手。”
“I can’t believe that, Mr. Gardner. You’re a classic. You’re like Sinatra or Dean Martin. Some class acts, they never go out of fashion. Not like these pop stars.”
“我不相信，加德纳先生。您是经典。就像辛纳特拉或者迪安·马丁[6]一样。一些一流的大师是不会过时的。不像那些流行歌星。”【注：[6] 二十世纪美国著名歌手、演员。】
“You’re very kind to say that, friend. I know you mean well. But tonight of all nights, it’s no time to be kidding me.”
“谢谢你这么说，朋友。我知道你是好意。可是唯独今晚，不要开我的玩笑。”
I was about to protest, but something in his manner told me to drop the whole subject. So we kept moving, no one speaking. To be honest, I was now beginning to wonder what I’d got myself into, what this whole serenade thing was about. And these were Americans, after all. For all I knew, when Mr. Gardner started singing, Mrs. Gardner would come to the window with a gun and fire down at us.
我正想反驳，但加德纳先生举止里的某些东西让我放开了这个话题。于是我们继续前进，没有人说话。说实话，我开始纳闷自己是不是搅和进了一件什么事，这整个小夜曲到底是怎么一回事。他们毕竟是美国人啊。说不定当加德纳先生开始唱时，加德纳太太会拿着枪走到窗前，朝我们开火。
Maybe Vittorio’s thoughts were moving along the same lines, because as we passed under a lantern on the side of a wall, he gave me a look as though to say: “We’ve got a strange one here, haven’t we, amico?” But I didn’t respond. I wasn’t going to side with the likes of him against Mr. Gardner. According to Vittorio, foreigners like me, we go around ripping off tourists, littering the canals, in general ruining the whole damn city. Some days, if he’s in a bad mood, he’ll claim we’re muggers — rapists, even. I asked him once to his face if it was true he was going around saying such things, and he swore it was all a pack of lies. How could he be a racist when he had a Jewish aunt he adored like a mother? But one afternoon I was killing time between sets, leaning over a bridge in Dorsoduro, and a gondola passed underneath. There were three tourists sitting in it, and Vittorio standing over them with his oar, holding forth for the world to hear, coming out with this very same rubbish. So he can meet my eye all he likes, he’ll get no camaraderie from me.
也许维托里奥跟我想到了一块儿，因为当我们驶过一面墙上的路灯下时，他朝我递了个眼色，像是在说：“他真是个怪人，不是吗，朋友？”可是我没有理他。我不会跟他那种人一起反对加德纳先生的。在维托里奥看来，像我这种外地人，成天敲诈游客，弄脏河水，总之就是破坏了这座该死的城市。哪天遇上他心情不好，他会说我们是强盗——甚至是强奸犯。有一次，我当面问他是不是真的说过这样的话，他赌誓说全是一派胡言。他有一个他敬如母亲的阿姨是犹太人，他怎么可能是个种族主义者呢？可是一天下午幕间休息的时候，我靠在多尔索杜罗的一座桥上打发时间，一条刚朵拉从桥下经过。船上有三名游客，维托里奥摇着桨站在他们身后，高谈阔论，讲的正是这些垃圾。所以他尽可以看着我，但别想从我这里得到伙伴情谊。
“Let me tell you a little secret,” Mr. Gardner said suddenly. “A little secret about performance. One pro to another. It’s quite simple. You’ve got to know something, doesn’t matter what it is, you’ve got to know something about your audience. Something that for you, in your mind, distinguishes that audience from the one you sang to the night before. Let’s say you’re in Milwaukee. You’ve got to ask yourself, what’s different, what’s special about a Milwaukee audience? What makes it different from a Madison audience? Can’t think of anything, you just keep on trying till you do. Milwaukee, Milwaukee. They have good pork chops in Milwaukee. That’ll work, that’s what you use when you step out there. You don’t have to say a word about it to them, it’s what’s in your mind when you sing to them. These people in front of you, they’re the ones who eat good pork chops. They have high standards when it comes to pork chops. You understand what I’m saying? That way the audience becomes someone you know, someone you can perform to. There, that’s my secret. One pro to another.”
“我来教你一个秘诀，”加德纳先生突然说道。“一个表演的小秘诀。给同行的你。很简单。你要多少了解你的观众，不管是哪个方面，你得知道一点儿。一件让你心里觉得今晚的观众跟昨晚的不同的事。比如说你在密尔沃基演出。你就得问问自己，有什么不同，密尔沃基的观众有何特别之处？他们跟麦迪逊的观众有何不同？想不出来也要一直想，直到想到为止。密尔沃基，密尔沃基。密尔沃基有上好的猪排。这就行了，当你走上台时心里就想着这个。不用说出来让观众知道，你唱歌的时候心里知道就行。你面前的这些人吃上好的猪排。他们对猪排非常讲究。你明白我的意思吗？这样观众就成了你知道的人了，成了你可以为之演出的人。这就是我的秘诀。给同行的你。”
“Well, thank you, Mr. Gardner. I’d never thought about it that way. A tip from someone like you, I won’t forget it.”
“谢谢，加德纳先生。我以前从没这样想过。像您这样的人的指点，我永生难忘。”
“So tonight,” he went on, “we’re performing for Lindy. Lindy’s the audience. So I’m going to tell you something about Lindy. You want to hear about Lindy?”
“那么今晚，”他接着说，“我们是为琳迪表演。琳迪是我们的观众。所以现在我要告诉你一些琳迪的事情。你想听吗？”
“Of course, Mr. Gardner,” I said. “I’d like to hear about her very much.”
“当然，加德纳先生，”我说。“我很想听听她的事情。”
For the next twenty minutes or so, We sat in that gondola, drifting round and round, while Mr. Gardner talked. Sometimes his voice went down to a murmur, like he was talking to himself. Other times, when a lamp or a passing window threw some light across our boat, he’d remember me, raise his voice, and say something like: “You understand what I’m saying, friend?”
接下来二十分钟左右的时间，我们坐在刚朵拉里，顺着水流漂，听加德纳先生讲。他的声音时而低得近乎耳语，像是在自言自语。而当路灯或者沿途窗户的灯光照到船上时，他就会突然想起我，提高音量，然后问“你明白我的意思吗，朋友？”之类的。
His wife, he told me, had come from a small town in Minnesota, in the middle of America, where her schoolteachers gave her a hard time because she was always looking at magazines of movie stars instead of studying.
他说，他妻子来自美国中部明尼苏达州的一个小镇。中学时，学校的老师让她的日子很不好过，因为她老看电影明星的杂志，不学习。
“What these ladies never realised was that Lindy had big plans. And look at her now. Rich, beautiful, travelled all over the world. And those schoolteachers, where are they today? What kind of lives have they had? If they’d looked at a few more movie magazines, had a few more dreams, they too might have a little of what Lindy has today.”
“老师们不知道琳迪有远大的计划。看看现在的她。富有、美丽、周游世界。而那些学校里的老师呢，他们如今有什么成就？过得怎么样呢？他们要是多看些电影杂志，多些梦想，也许也能够拥有一些琳迪今日的成就。”
At nineteen, she’d hitch-hiked to California, wanting to get to Hollywood. Instead, she’d found herself in the outskirts of Los Angeles, working as a waitress in a roadside diner.
十九岁时，她搭便车到了加州，想进好莱坞，却在洛杉矶郊外的一家路边餐厅当起了服务生。
“Surprising thing,” Mr. Gardner said. “This diner, this regular little place off the highway. It turned out to be the best place she could have wound up. Because this was where all the ambitious girls came in, morning till night. They used to meet there, seven, eight, a dozen of them, they’d order their coffees, their hot dogs, sit in there for hours and talk.”
“意想不到啊，”加德纳先生说。“这家餐厅，这个高速公路旁不起眼的小地方，却成了她最好的去处。因为这里是所有野心勃勃的姑娘来的地方，从早到晚。她们在这里见面，七个、八个、十来个。她们吃啊喝啊，坐在那里聊上好几个钟头。”
These girls, all a little older than Lindy, had come from every part of America and had been in the LA area for at least two or three years. They came into the diner to swap gossip and hard-luck stories, discuss tactics, keep a check on each other’s progress. But the main draw of the place was Meg, a woman in her forties, the waitress Lindy worked with.
这些姑娘都比琳迪大一些，来自美国的四面八方，在洛杉矶待了至少两三年了。她们聚在餐厅里聊八卦，聊倒霉事，讨论计策，汇报大家的进展。可是这里最引人注目的是一个叫梅格的女人，一个四十多岁的女招待。
“To these girls Meg was their big sister, their fountain of wisdom. Because once upon a time, she’d been exactly like them. You’ve got to understand, these were serious girls, really ambitious, determined girls. Did they talk about clothes and shoes and make-up like other girls? Sure they did. But they only talked about which clothes and shoes and make-up would help them marry a star. Did they talk about movies? Did they talk about the music scene? You bet. But they talked about which movie stars and singers were single, which ones were unhappily married, which ones were getting divorced. And Meg, you see, she could tell them all this, and much, much more. Meg had been down that road before them. She knew all the rules, all the tricks, when it came to marrying a star. And Lindy sat with them and took everything in. That little hot-dog diner was her Harvard, her Yale. A nineteen-year-old from Minnesota? Makes me shudder now to think what could have happened to her. But she got lucky.”
“梅格是这群姑娘的大姐头，智囊袋。因为以前她就和她们一样。你得明白，她们是一群正经的姑娘，野心勃勃、意志坚定的姑娘。她们是不是和其他女孩子一样谈论衣服、鞋子、化妆品？是，她们也谈这些。但是她们只关心哪些衣服、鞋子、化妆品能帮助她们嫁给明星。她们谈不谈论电影？她们谈不谈论歌坛？当然了。但是她们谈的是哪个电影明星或者歌星还是单身，哪个婚姻不幸，哪个离了婚。而所有这些，梅格都能告诉她们，还有其他很多、很多的东西。梅格走过她们要走的路。她知道钓到大腕的所有规矩和门道。琳迪和她们坐在一起，一字不落地听着。这家小小的热狗店就是她的哈佛、她的耶鲁。明尼苏达来的一个十九岁的小姑娘？现在想想她可能会变成什么样，都让我哆嗦。可是她是走运的。”
“Mr. Gardner,” I said, “excuse me for interrupting. But if this Meg was so wise about everything, how come she wasn’t married to a star herself? Why was she serving hot dogs in this diner?”
“加德纳先生，”我说道，“请原谅我打断您。可要是这个梅格这么神通广大，她干吗不自己嫁个明星？她干吗还在餐厅里端盘子？”
“Good question, but you don’t quite see how these things work. Okay, this lady, Meg, she hadn’t made it. But the point is, she’d watched the ones who had. You understand, friend? She’d been just like those girls once, and she’d watched some succeed, others fail. She’d seen the pitfalls, she’d seen the golden stairways. She could tell them all the stories and those girls listened. And some of them learned. Lindy, for one. Like I say, that was her Harvard. It made her what she is. It gave her the strength she needed later on, and boy, did she need it. It took her six years before her first break came along. Can you imagine it? Six years of manoeuvring, planning, putting yourself on the line like that. Getting knocked back over and over again. But it’s just like in our business. You can’t roll over and give up after the first few knocks. The girls who do, you can see them any place, married to nobodies in nowhere towns. But just a few of them, the ones like Lindy, they learn from every knock, they come back stronger, tougher, they come back fighting and mad. You think Lindy didn’t suffer humiliation? Even with her beauty and charm? What people don’t realise is that beauty isn’t the half of it. Use it wrong, you get treated like a whore. Anyway, after six years, she finally got her break.”
“问得好，可你不太明白这些事情到底是怎么一回事。好，这位女士，梅格，她自己没有成功。可是重点是，她看过别人是怎么成功的。你明白吗，朋友？她曾经和这些姑娘一样，她目睹谁成功了，谁失败了。她见过圈套陷阱，也见过阳关大道。她把所有的故事都讲给她们听，而其中一些人学进去了。琳迪就是其中一个。就像我说的，这里是她的哈佛。这里成就了后来的她。这里给了她日后需要的力量，天啊，她确实需要。她等了六年才交了第一次好运。你想象得到吗？六年的处心积虑，六年的如履薄冰。一次次地遇到挫折。可是就跟我们的事业一样。你不能因为最初的一些小挫折就打退堂鼓。大部分人做不到，这样的姑娘随处可见，在默默无闻的地方嫁给默默无闻的人。而有一些人，有一些像琳迪这样的人，她们从每一次的挫折中吸取经验教训，变得越来越坚强，她们屡败屡战，却越战越勇。你以为琳迪没有蒙过羞？像她这么漂亮，这么有魅力的人？人们不明白美丽不是最主要的，一半都不到。用得不对，人们就视你为娼妇。总之，六年之后，琳迪终于有了好运。”
“That’s when she met you, Mr. Gardner?”
“她遇到您了是吗，加德纳先生？”
“Me? No, no. I didn’t come on the scene for a while longer. She married Dino Hartman. You’ve never heard of Dino?” Mr. Gardner did a slightly unkind laugh here. “Poor Dino. I guess Dino’s records wouldn’t have made it to the communist countries. But Dino had quite a name for himself in those days. He sang in Vegas a lot, had a few gold records. Like I said, that was Lindy’s big break. When I first met her, she was Dino’s wife. Old Meg had explained that’s how it happens all the time. Sure, a girl can get lucky first time, go straight to the top, marry a Sinatra or a Brando. But it doesn’t usually happen like that. A girl’s got to be prepared to get out of the elevator at the second floor, walk around. She needs to get used to the air on that floor. Then maybe, one day, on that second floor, she’ll run into someone who’s come down from the penthouse for a few minutes, maybe to fetch something. And this guy says to her, hey, how about coming back up with me, up to the top floor. Lindy knew that’s how it usually played out. She wasn’t weakening when she married Dino, she wasn’t cutting her ambition down to size. And Dino was a decent guy. I always liked him. That’s why, even though I fell badly for Lindy the moment I first saw her, I didn’t make a move. I was the perfect gentleman. I found out later that was what made Lindy all the more determined. Man, you’ve got to admire a girl like that! I have to tell you, friend, I was a bright, bright star around this time. I guess this would be around when your mother was listening to me. Dino, though, his star was starting to go down fast. It was tough for a lot of singers just around then. Everything was changing. Kids were listening to the Beatles, the Rolling Stones. Poor Dino, he sounded too much like Bing Crosby. He tried a bossa nova album folks just laughed at. Definitely time for Lindy to get out. No one could have accused us of anything in that situation. I don’t think even Dino really blamed us. So I made my move. That’s how she got up to the penthouse.”
“我？不，不是。我没有这么快出现。她嫁给了迪诺·哈特曼。没听说过迪诺？”说到这里加德纳先生微微冷笑了一下。“可怜的迪诺。我想他的唱片没有流传到共产主义国家去。不过那时他很有些名气。当时他频频在维加斯演出，出了几张金唱片。我刚才说了，琳迪交了好运。我初次见到琳迪时，她是迪诺的妻子。这种情况老梅格早跟她们解释过了。诚然有的姑娘能第一次就撞了大运，一步登天，钓上辛纳特拉或者白兰度这样的人。可是这种事情并不多见。姑娘们得准备好在二楼就出电梯，走出来。她得习惯二楼的空气。也许将来有一天，她会在二楼这里遇见一个从顶楼公寓下来的人，也许是下来取一下东西。这人对她说，嘿，要不要跟我一起回去，一起上顶楼去。琳迪清楚游戏规则。她的战斗力没有因为嫁给了迪诺而减退，她的雄心也没有因此而大打折扣。迪诺是个正派人。我一直都喜欢他。所以虽然我第一次见到琳迪就深深地爱上了她，但我没有采取行动。我是个绝对的绅士。后来我得知琳迪因此而更加下定决心。啊，你应该钦佩这样的姑娘！我得告诉你，朋友，我那个时候非常非常红。我猜你母亲就是在那个时期听我的歌的。然而迪诺却开始迅速走下坡路。那段时期很多歌手的日子都不好过。时代变了。孩子们都听披头士、滚石。可怜的迪诺，他的歌太像平·克劳斯贝[7]了。他尝试做了一张巴萨诺瓦[8]的唱片，却被大家耻笑。这时琳迪肯定不能再跟着他了。当时的情况没有人能指责我们。我想就是迪诺也没有真的责怪我们。所以我行动了。她就这样到了顶楼公寓。”【注：[7] 二十世纪美国著名歌手、演员。[8] 一种融合巴西桑巴节奏与美国酷派爵士乐的新派音乐，被视为拉丁爵士乐的一种。】
“We got married in Vegas, we had the hotel fill the bathtub with champagne. That song we’re gonna do tonight, ‘I Fall in Love Too Easily.’ You know why I chose that one? You want to know? We were in London once, not long after we got married. We came up to our room after breakfast and the maid’s in there cleaning our suite. But Lindy and I are horny as rabbits. So we go in, and we can hear the maid vacuuming our lounge, but we can’t see her, she’s through the partition. So we sneak through on tip-toes, like we’re kids, you know? We sneak through to the bedroom, close the door. We can see the maid’s finished the bedroom already, so maybe she doesn’t need to come back, but we don’t know that for sure. Either way, we don’t care. We tear off our clothes, we make love on the bed, and all the time the maid’s on the other side, moving around our suite, no idea we’ve come in. I tell you, we were horny, but after a while, we found the whole thing so funny, we just kept laughing. Then we’d finished and we were lying there in each other’s arms, and the maid was still out there and you know what, she starts singing! She’s finished with the vacuum, so she starts singing at the top of her voice, and boy, did she have one lousy voice! We were laughing and laughing, but trying to keep it silent. Then what do you know, she stops singing and turns on the radio. And suddenly we hear Chet Baker. He’s singing ‘I Fall in Love Too Easily,’ nice and slow and mellow. And Lindy and me, we just lay there across the bed together, listening to Chet singing. And after a while, I’m singing along, really soft, singing along with Chet Baker on the radio, Lindy curled up in my arms. That’s how it was. That’s why we’re gonna do that song tonight. I don’t know if she’ll remember though. Who the hell knows?”
“我们在维加斯结了婚，我们把酒店的浴缸装满香槟。今晚我们要唱的那首《我太易坠入爱河》，知道我为什么选这首歌吗？想知道吗？新婚后不久，有一次我们在伦敦。吃完早饭以后我们回到客房，女佣正在打扫我们的套房。可是我们欲火烧身。于是我们进了房间，我们可以听见女佣在用吸尘器打扫客厅的声音，可是我们看不见她，隔着隔板墙。我们踮着脚尖偷偷地溜进去，像孩子似的，你瞧。我们悄悄地溜回卧室，把门关上。我们看得出卧室已经打扫完了，所以女佣应该不用再回到卧室来了，但我们也不是很肯定。管他呢，我们才不在乎。我们脱掉衣服，在床上大干起来，女佣一直都在隔壁，在套房里走来走去，不晓得我们已经回来了。我说了，我们欲火烧身，可是过了一会儿，我们突然觉得整件事情太好玩了，我们开始笑个不停。后来我们完事了，躺在床上拥抱着对方，女佣还在外面，你知道吗，她居然唱起歌来了！她用完吸尘器，开始放声高歌，天啊，她的声音太难听了！我们笑个不停，当然是尽量不发出声音。你猜接下来怎么着，她不唱了，打开收音机。我们突然听见切特·贝克[9]的声音，在唱《我太易坠入爱河》，优美、舒缓、柔和。我和琳迪躺在床上，听着切特的歌声。过了一会儿，我也唱了起来，很轻地，跟着收音机里的切特·贝克唱，琳迪偎依在我怀里。事情就是这样。这就是为什么今晚我选了这首歌。我不知道她会不会想起这件事。天晓得。”【注：[9] 美国爵士乐号手、歌手。】
Mr. Gardner stopped talking and I could see him wiping away tears. Vittorio brought us around another corner and I realised we were going past the restaurant a second time. It looked even more lively than before, and a pianist, this guy I know called Andrea, was now playing in the corner.
加德纳先生不说了，我看见他擦去眼泪。船又转了个弯，我发现我们第二次经过那家餐厅了。餐厅似乎比先前更加热闹，有个人，我知道他叫安德烈亚，正在角落里弹钢琴。
As we drifted again into the dark, I said: “Mr. Gardner, it’s none of my business, I know. But I can see maybe things haven’t been so good between you and Mrs. Gardner lately. I want you to know I understand about things like that. My mother often used to get sad, maybe just the way you are now. She’d think she’d found someone, she’d be so happy and tell me this guy was going to be my new dad. The first couple of times I believed her. After that, I knew it wouldn’t work out. But my mother, she never stopped believing it. And every time she felt down, maybe like you are tonight, you know what she did? She put on your records and sang along. All those long winters, in that tiny apartment of ours, she’d sit there, knees tucked up under her, glass of something in her hand, and she’d sing along softly. And sometimes, I remember this, Mr. Gardner, our neighbours upstairs would bang on the ceiling, especially when you were doing those big up-tempo numbers, like ‘High Hopes’ or ‘They All Laughed.’ I used to watch my mother carefully, but it was like she hadn’t heard a thing, she’d be listening to you, nodding her head to the beat, her lips moving with the lyrics. Mr. Gardner, I wanted to say to you. Your music helped my mother through those times, it must have helped millions of others. And it’s only right it should help you too.” I did a little laugh, which I meant to be encouraging, but it came out louder than I’d intended. “You can count on me tonight, Mr. Gardner. I’m going to put everything I’ve got into it. I’ll make it as good as any orchestra, you just see. And Mrs. Gardner will hear us and who knows? Maybe things will start going fine between you again. Every couple goes through difficult times.”
当我们再次驶入黑暗之中时，我说道：“加德纳先生，我知道这不关我的事，可我看得出眼下您和加德纳太太的关系不是很好。我想让您知道我是明白这些事的。以前我母亲经常悲伤，大概就和您现在一样。她以为这次她找到了一个好人，她高兴极了，告诉我这个人要做我的新爸爸了。头几次我相信了。可后来，我知道事情不会尽如人意的。可是我母亲从来没有停止相信。每当她伤心的时候，大概就像您今晚这样，你猜她怎么着？她会放你的唱片，跟着唱。那些漫长的冬天，在我们住的小公寓里，她坐在那里，蜷起膝盖，手里头拿着一杯喝的，轻轻地跟着唱。有时候，我还记得，加德纳先生，楼上的邻居会用力地敲天花板，特别是当你放一些大声的快歌时，比如《希翼》、《他们都笑话》之类的。我仔细地看着母亲，可是她好像什么也没听见，专心地听着你的歌，头跟着拍子一点一点，嘴唇跟着歌词一张一合。加德纳先生，我想说的是，您的音乐帮助我母亲度过那些伤心的日子，也一定帮助了其他成千上万的人。所以也一定能帮助您自己的。”说完我笑了笑，本想作为鼓励，没想到笑得大声了点。“今晚您可以信任我，加德纳先生。我会全力以赴。今晚我的演出不会输给任何一个管弦乐队的，您等着瞧吧。加德纳太太听了以后，天晓得？也许你们就会重归于好。夫妻间都会有不愉快的时候。”
Mr. Gardner smiled. “You’re a sweet guy. I appreciate you helping me out tonight. But we don’t have any more time to talk. Lindy’s in her room now. I can see the light on.”
加德纳先生微微一笑。“你是个好人儿。我很感激你今晚的帮助。但是我们没有时间再聊了。琳迪回到房里了。我看见灯亮了。”
We were going by a Palazzo we’d passed at least twice before, and I now realised why Vittorio had been taking us round in circles. Mr. Gardner had been watching for the light to come on in a particular window, and each time he’d found it still dark, we’d moved on to do another circle. This time, though, the third-storey window was lit, the shutters were open, and from down where we were, we could see a small part of the ceiling with its dark wooden beams. Mr. Gardner signalled to Vittorio, but he’d already stopped rowing and we drifted slowly till the gondola was directly beneath the window.
说话间我们正经过一座我们至少已经路过两次的公寓。现在我明白了为什么维托里奥带着我们兜圈子。加德纳先生在等某个窗户的灯光，每次他看见灯还没亮，我们就再绕一圈。但是这一次，三楼的窗户亮了，百叶窗打开着，从我们这里可以看见屋里的一小块带黑色木梁的天花板。加德纳先生示意维托里奥停下，维托里奥早已经停下桨，让船慢慢漂到窗户的正下方。
Mr. Gardner stood up, making the boat rock alarmingly again, and Vittorio had to move quickly to steady us. Then Mr. Gardner called up, much too softly: “Lindy? Lindy?” Finally he called out much louder: “Lindy!”
加德纳先生站起身来，又一次把船弄得激烈地摇晃起来，维托里奥赶紧把船稳住。加德纳先生朝上面轻轻地喊道：“琳迪？琳迪？”然后他终于大声叫道：“琳迪！”
A hand pushed the shutters out wider, then a figure came onto the narrow balcony. A lantern was fixed to the palazzo wall not far above us, but the light wasn’t good, and Mrs. Gardner wasn’t much more than a silhouette. I could see though that she’d put up her hair since I’d met her in the piazza, maybe for their dinner earlier on.
一只手推开百叶窗，接着一个身影出现在狭小的阳台上。虽然公寓墙上不远的地方有一盏灯，但是灯光昏暗，看不清加德纳太太的样子。然而我依稀看出她把头发梳起来了，和上午在广场上不一样，大概是为了刚刚的晚餐。
“That you, sweetie?” She leaned over the balcony rail. “I thought you’d been kidnapped or something. You had me all anxious.”
“是你吗，亲爱的？”她靠在阳台的栏杆上问。“我还以为你被绑架之类了呢。你害我担心死了。”
“Don’t be foolish, honey. What could happen in a town like this? Anyway, I left you that note.”
“别傻了，亲爱的。在这种地方会出什么事呢？再说，我给你留了纸条。”
“I didn’t see any note, sweetie.”
“我没有看见什么纸条，亲爱的。”
“I left you a note. Just so you wouldn’t get anxious.”
“我给你留了纸条。让你别担心。”
“Where is it, this note? What did it say?”
“纸条在哪儿呢？上面写什么？”
“I don’t remember, honey.” Mr. Gardner now sounded irritated. “It was just a regular note. You know, saying I’d gone to buy cigarettes or something.”
“我不记得了，亲爱的。”加德纳先生生气了。“只是张普通的纸条，说我要去买烟之类的。”
“Is that what you’re doing down there now? Buying cigarettes?”
“你现在在那里就是干这个吗？买烟？”
“No, honey. This is something different. I’m gonna sing to you.”
“不是，亲爱的。这是另外一件事。我要唱歌给你听。”
“Is this some sort of joke?”
“是在开什么玩笑吗？”
“No, honey, it isn’t a joke. This is Venice. It’s what people do here.” He gestured around to me and Vittorio, like our being there proved his point.
“不，亲爱的，不是开玩笑。这里是威尼斯。这里的人就是这么干的。”说着指了指我和维托里奥，像是要证明他的话。
“It’s kind of chilly for me out here, sweetie.”
“我觉得外面有点冷，亲爱的。”
Mr. Gardner did a big sigh. “Then you can listen from inside the room. Go back in the room, honey, make yourself comfortable. Just leave those windows open and you’ll hear us fine.”
加德纳先生重重地叹了口气。“那你进屋里去听吧。进屋里去，亲爱的，舒舒服服地坐好。只要把窗户开着就能听得很清楚。”
She went on gazing down at him for a while, and he went on gazing back up, neither of them saying anything. Then she’d gone inside, and Mr. Gardner seemed disappointed, even though this was exactly what he’d suggested she should do. He lowered his head with another sigh, and I could tell he was hesitating about going ahead. So I said:
加德纳太太仍旧低头看着他，他也抬头往上看，两个人都没有说话。片刻后，加德纳太太进屋里去了，加德纳先生好像很失望的样子，即便是他自己劝她这么做的。他低下头，又叹了口气，我能感觉到加德纳先生正在犹豫还要不要做。于是我说道：
“Come on, Mr. Gardner, let’s do it. Let’s do ‘By the Time I Get to Phoenix.'”
“来吧，加德纳先生，我们开始吧。第一首《当我到达凤凰城的时候》。”
And I played gently a little opening figure, no beat yet, the sort of thing that could lead into a song or just as easily fade away. I tried to make it sound like America, sad roadside bars, big long highways, and I guess I was thinking too of my mother, the way I’d come into the room and see her on the sofa gazing at her record sleeve with its picture of an American road, or maybe of the singer sitting in an American car. What I mean is, I tried to play it so my mother would have recognised it as coming from that same world, the world on her record sleeve.
我轻轻地弹了几个开始的音符，拍子还没有出来，只是一些音符，可以是歌曲的导入，也可以就这么渐渐退去。我试着弹得美国一点，伤心的路边酒吧，长长的高速公路。我还想起了我母亲，想我以前是怎么走进屋里，看见她坐在沙发上，盯着唱片的封面，封面上画着一条美国公路，或者一个歌手坐在一辆美国车里。我的意思是，我试着要弹得让我母亲能听出就是那个国家，她唱片封面上的那个国家。
Then before I realised it, before I’d picked up any steady beat, Mr. Gardner started to sing. His posture, standing in the gondola, was pretty unsteady, and I was afraid he’d lose his balance any moment. But his voice came out just the way I remembered it — gentle, almost husky, but with a huge amount of body, like it was coming through an invisible mike. And like all the best American singers, there was that weariness in his voice, even a hint of hesitation, like he’s not a man accustomed to laying open his heart this way. That’s how all the greats do it.
还没等我反应过来，还没等我弹出什么连续的拍子来，加德纳先生就唱了起来。他站在摇摇晃晃的刚朵拉上，我担心他随时会掉下去。然而他的声音和我记忆里的一模一样——温柔、近乎沙哑，但是集结了全身的力量，像是从一个看不见的麦克风里传出来的。而且和所有一流的美国歌手一样，他的声音略带疲倦，甚至是丝丝的犹豫，仿佛他并非一个惯于如此敞开心扉的人。所有的大师都是这样。
We went through that song, full of travelling and goodbye. An American man leaving his woman. He keeps thinking of her as he passes through the towns one by one, verse by verse, Phoenix, Albuquerque, Oklahoma, driving down a long road the way my mother never could. If only we could leave things behind like that — I guess that’s what my mother would have thought. If only sadness could be like that.
我弹着，他唱着，一首充满漂泊和离别的歌。一个美国人离开他的情人。歌曲一节节，城镇一座座，凤凰城、阿尔伯克基、俄克拉何马，他一路不停地思念着情人。车子沿着大路一直开，这是我母亲永远不可能做到的。要是我们能像这样子将事情抛在身后——我猜母亲听这首歌的时候是这么想的。要是我们能像这样子将悲伤抛在身后。
We came to the end and Mr. Gardner said: “Okay, let’s go straight to the next one. ‘I Fall in Love Too Easily.'”
这首歌结束了，加德纳先生说：“好，直接唱下一首吧。《我太易坠入爱河》。”
This being my first time playing with Mr. Gardner, I had to feel my way around everything, but we managed okay. After what he’d told me about this song, I kept looking up at that window, but there was nothing from Mrs. Gardner, no movement, no sound, nothing. Then we’d finished, and the quiet and the dark settled around us. Somewhere nearby, I could hear a neighbour pushing open shutters, maybe to hear better. But nothing from Mrs. Gardner’s window.
这是我第一次为加德纳先生演奏，我小心翼翼地弹每一个音，结果我们配合得还不错。听了他给我讲的这首歌的故事以后，我不停地抬头看窗户，然而加德纳太太那里一点儿反应也没有，没有动静，没有声音，什么都没有。歌唱完了，宁静和黑暗包围了我们。我听见不远处有人推开百叶窗，估计是住在附近的人想听得清楚些。可是加德纳太太的窗户什么情况也没有。
We did “One for My Baby” very slow, virtually no beat at all, then everything was silent again. We went on looking up at the window, then at last, maybe after a full minute, we heard it. You could only just make it out, but there was no mistaking it. Mrs. Gardner was up there sobbing.
我们慢慢地唱起了《给我的宝贝》，慢到几乎没有拍子，然后一切又归于平静。我们一直抬头看着窗户，过了许久，大概足足有一分钟的时间，我们终于听见了。声音若隐若现，但是绝对错不了，是加德纳太太在啜泣。
“We did it, Mr. Gardner!” I whispered. “We did it. We got her by the heart.”
“我们成功了，加德纳先生！”我轻声说。“我们成功了。我们打动她了。”
But Mr. Gardner didn’t seem pleased. He shook his head tiredly, sat down and gestured to Vittorio. “Take us round the other side. It’s time I went in.”
可是加德纳先生的样子并不高兴。他疲倦地摇摇头，坐了下来，朝维托里奥摆了摆手。“把船划到另一边去吧。我该进去了。”
As we started to move again, I thought he was avoiding looking at me, almost like he was ashamed of what we’d just done, and I began thinking maybe this whole plan had been some kind of malicious joke. For all I knew, these songs all held horrible meanings for Mrs. Gardner. So I put my guitar away and sat there, maybe a bit sullen, and that’s how we travelled for a while.
当船再次开动时，我觉得加德纳先生一直在避开我的眼睛，几乎像是在为今晚的事情感到羞愧。我不禁想到这整件事情也许是一个恶作剧。因为就我所知，这些歌对加德纳太太都有讨厌的含义。于是我收起吉他，坐在那里，或许有点儿闷闷不乐，我们就这么往前划去。
Then we came out to a much wider canal, and immediately a water-taxi coming the other way rushed past us, making waves under the gondola. But we were nearly up to the front of Mr. Gardner’s palazzo, and as Vittorio let us drift towards the quay, I said:
船到了开阔一些的水面，突然一艘观光游艇迎面从我们身边疾驶而过，在刚朵拉边溅起不小的波浪。然而我们快到加德纳先生公寓的门口了。维托里奥把船慢慢靠近岸边时，我说道：
“Mr. Gardner, you’ve been an important part of my growing up. And tonight’s been a very special night for me. If we just said goodbye now and I never saw you again, I know for the rest of my life I’ll always be wondering. So Mr. Gardner, please tell me. Just now, was Mrs. Gardner crying because she was happy or because she was upset?”
“加德纳先生，您是我成长过程中重要的一部分。今晚对我来说太特别了。如果我们就此告别，以后我不会再见到您，那么我余生都会一直琢磨。所以加德纳先生，请您告诉我。刚才，加德纳太太是因为喜悦而哭泣，还是因为伤心？”
I thought he wasn’t going to answer. In the dim light, his figure was just this hunched-up shape at the front of the boat. But as Vittorio was tying the rope, he said quietly:
我以为他不会回答我。昏暗的灯光下，我只能看见船头加德纳先生弓着背的身影。可是当维托里奥系缆绳时，加德纳先生静静说道：
“I guess she was pleased to hear me sing that way. But sure, she was upset. We’re both of us upset. Twenty-seven years is a long time and after this trip we’re separating. This is our last trip together.”
“我想我以这种方式唱歌给她听，她很高兴。但当然了，她很伤心。我们俩都很伤心。漫长的二十七年，这次旅行之后，我们就要分开了。这是我们最后一次一起旅行了。”
“I’m really sorry to hear that, Mr. Gardner,” I said gently. “I guess a lot of marriages come to an end, even after twenty-seven years. But at least you’re able to part like this. A holiday in Venice. Singing from a gondola. There can’t be many couples who split up and stay so civilised.”
“听您这么说我真的很难过，加德纳先生，”我轻轻地说。“我想很多婚姻最后都走到了尽头，即便是一起过了二十七年。但至少你们能以这种方式分开。一起到威尼斯度假，在刚朵拉上唱歌。很少有夫妻能这么友好地分手。”
“But why wouldn’t we be civilised? We still love each other. That’s why she’s crying up there. Because she still loves me as much as I still love her.”
“我们为什么不友好呢？我们仍然深爱着对方。这就是她为什么哭了。她还像我爱着她一样地爱着我。”
Vittorio had stepped up onto the quay, but Mr. Gardner and I kept sitting in the darkness. I was waiting for him to say more, and sure enough, after a moment, he went on:
维托里奥已经上岸了，可是加德纳先生和我都还坐在黑暗里。我等着他往下讲，果然，过了一会儿，他接着说道：
“Like I told you, the first time I laid eyes on Lindy I fell in love with her. But did she love me back then? I doubt if the question ever crossed her mind. I was a star, that’s all that mattered to her. I was what she’d dreamt of, what she’d planned to win for herself back in that little diner. Whether she loved me or not didn’t come into it. But twenty-seven years of marriage can do funny things. Plenty of couples, they start off loving each other, then get tired of each other, end up hating each other. Sometimes though it goes the other way. It took a few years, but bit by bit, Lindy began to love me. I didn’t dare believe it at first, but after a while there was nothing else to believe. A little touch on my shoulder as we were getting up from a table. A funny little smile across the room when there wasn’t anything to smile about, just her fooling around. I bet she was as surprised as anyone, but that’s what happened. After five or six years, we found we were easy with each other. That we worried about each other, cared about each other. Like I say, we loved each other. And we still love each other today.”
“就像我说的，我对琳迪一见钟情。可是她也爱我吗？我想她根本没考虑过这个问题。我是个明星，她只关心这一点。我是她梦寐以求的，是她在那家小餐厅里处心积虑想要得到的。她爱不爱我不是问题。可是二十七年的婚姻会发生很多有趣的事情。很多夫妻，他们渐渐地越来越不喜欢对方，厌倦对方，最后憎恨对方。而有时候情况刚好相反。过了很多年，琳迪逐渐慢慢地开始喜欢我。一开始我不敢相信，可是后来没什么可怀疑的了。离开餐桌时轻轻碰一下我的肩膀。在房间那一头莫名其妙地微微一笑，没什么好笑的事，只是她自己不知道在乐什么。我敢说她自己也很惊讶，但事实如此。五六年后，我们发现我们在一起非常惬意。我们关心对方，在乎对方。总而言之，我们爱对方。而如今我们仍旧爱着对方。”
“I don’t get it, Mr. Gardner. So why are you and Mrs. Gardner separating?”
“我不明白，加德纳先生。那您和加德纳太太为什么要分开呢？”
He did another of his sighs. “How would you understand, my friend, coming from where you do? But you’ve been kind to me tonight, so I’m gonna try and explain it. Fact is, I’m no longer the major name I once was. Protest all you like, but where we come from, there’s no getting round something like that. I’m no longer a major name. Now I could just accept that and fade away. Live on past glories. Or I could say, no, I’m not finished yet. In other words, my friend, I could make a comeback. Plenty have from my position and worse. But a comeback’s no easy game. You have to be prepared to make a lot of changes, some of them hard ones. You change the way you are. You even change some things you love.”
他又叹了一口气。“你怎么可能明白呢，朋友，从那样的国家来的？但是今天晚上你对我太好了，我试着解释给你听吧。事实是，我的名声已经不如从前了。你尽可以反对，但在美国，这是不可否认的事实。我不再是大明星了。如今的我可以接受现实，慢慢隐退，生活在过去的荣誉之上。但我也可以说，不，我还没玩完呢。换句话说，我的朋友，我可以重返歌坛。很多像我这样的人，甚至还不如我的人，都这么做了。但是重返歌坛并非易事。你得做好做出种种改变的心理准备，有些改变是很困难的。你得改变你的做法，甚至改变一些你喜欢的东西。”
“Mr. Gardner, are you saying you and Mrs. Gardner have to separate because of your comeback?”
“加德纳先生，您的意思是，因为您要重返歌坛，您和加德纳太太不得不分开？”
“Look at the other guys, the guys who came back successfully. Look at the ones from my generation still hanging round. Every single one of them, they’ve remarried. Twice, sometimes three times. Every one of them, young wives on their arms. Me and Lindy are getting to be a laughing stock. Besides, there’s been this particular young lady I’ve had my eye on, and she’s had her eye on me. Lindy knows the score. She’s known it longer than I have, maybe ever since those days in that diner listening to Meg. We’ve talked it over. She understands it’s time to go our separate ways.”
“看看其他人，看看那些成功重返歌坛的人，看看那些至今仍活跃在歌坛的我这一辈人。他们每一个，每一个都再婚了。两次，甚至三次。他们每一个都牵着年轻的妻子。我和琳迪会成为笑柄的。而且，现在有一个我看上眼的姑娘，她也看上了我。琳迪明白这其中的道理，比我还早明白，也许在餐厅里听梅格讲各种奇闻轶事时就明白了。我们商量过了。她明白我们该各走各的了。”
“I still don’t get it, Mr. Gardner. This place you and Mrs. Gardner come from can’t be so different from everywhere else. That’s why, Mr. Gardner, that’s why these songs you’ve been singing all these years, they make sense for people everywhere. Even where I used to live. And what do all these songs say? If two people fall out of love and they have to part, then that’s sad. But if they go on loving each other, they should stay together for ever. That’s what these songs are saying.”
“我还是不明白，加德纳先生。您和加德纳太太来的地方不会和其他地方相差到哪儿去。所以，加德纳先生，这些年来您唱的歌能感动各个地方的人。甚至是我生长的地方。这些歌里头都唱些什么呢？两个人不再相爱了，只好分开，所以伤心。可要是两人还彼此相爱，就应该永远在一起。这就是那些歌里唱的。”
“I understand what you’re saying, friend. And it might sound hard to you, I know. But that’s the way it is. And listen, this is about Lindy too. It’s best for her we do this now. She’s nowhere near old yet. You’ve seen her, she’s still a beautiful woman. She needs to get out now, while she has time. Time to find love again, make another marriage. She needs to get out before it’s too late.”
“我明白你的意思，朋友。我知道你很难明白这件事情。但事实如此。而且，这对琳迪也好。我们现在就分开对她来说最好。她还不老。你见过她，她依旧美丽动人。她得趁现在还来得及的时候抽身。还来得及再找一个爱人，再结一次婚。她得趁还为时未晚赶紧抽身。”
I don’t know what I would have said to that, but then he caught me by surprise, saying: “Your mother. I guess she never got out.”
我不知道该回答什么，加德纳先生突然问道：“我猜你母亲始终没能再找到一个好人吧。”
I thought about it, then said quietly: “No, Mr. Gardner. She never got out. She didn’t live long enough to see the changes in our country.”
我被这个问题吓了一跳。我想了想，轻声说：“没有，加德纳先生。她始终没能再婚。她没能活着看见我们国家的变化。”
“That’s too bad. I’m sure she was a fine woman. If what you say is true, and my music helped make her happy, that means a lot to me. Too bad she didn’t get out. I don’t want that to happen to my Lindy. No, sir. Not to my Lindy. I want my Lindy to get out.”
“太遗憾了。我相信她是个好女人。如果真像你说的那样，我的歌真的让她感到幸福，那对我而言意义重大。很遗憾她最终没能再找到一个好人。我不希望我的琳迪会这样。不，我的琳迪不会的。我要我的琳迪再找到一个好人。”
The gondola was bumping gently against the quay. Vittorio called out softly, reaching out his hand, and after a few seconds, Mr. Gardner got to his feet and climbed out. By the time I too had climbed out with my guitar — I wasn’t going to beg any free rides from Vittorio — Mr. Gardner had his wallet out.
刚朵拉轻轻地敲打着河岸。维托里奥轻声唤着，伸出一只手，几秒钟后，加德纳先生站起来，爬上岸去。等我也拿着吉他爬上岸时——我不想求维托里奥让我白搭一程——加德纳先生已经掏出了钱包。
Vittorio seemed pleased with what he was given, and with his usual fine phrases and gestures, he got back in his gondola and set off down the canal.
看来维托里奥对自己的酬劳非常满意，他带着一贯的彬彬有礼，说着一贯的恭维话，回到刚朵拉上，划走了。
We watched him disappear into the dark, then next thing, Mr. Gardner was pushing a lot of notes into my hand. I told him it was way too much, that anyway it was a huge honour for me, but he wouldn’t hear of taking any of it back.
我们看着船消失在黑暗之中。加德纳先生往我手里塞进一大把钞票。我对他说太多了，而且今晚是我极大的荣幸。可他一点儿也不肯收回去。
“No, no,” he said, waving his hand in front of his face, like he wanted to be done, not just with the money, but with me, the evening, maybe this whole section of his life. He started to walk off towards his palazzo, but after a few paces, he stopped and turned back to look at me. The little street we were in, the canal, everything was silent now except for the distant sound of a television.
“不，不，”他边说边在眼前摆了摆手，像是要了结这件事，不仅是钱，还包括我、包括这个夜晚，或许还包括他人生的这整个阶段。他迈步朝公寓走去，可才走了几步，他就停下来，回头看着我。我们所在的小街，运河，一切都很安静，只有远方模糊的电视的声音。
“You played well tonight, my friend,” he said. “You have a nice touch.”
“今天晚上你弹得很好，我的朋友，”他说。“你的指法很好。”
“Thank you, Mr. Gardner. And you sang great. As great as ever.”
“谢谢您，加德纳先生。您唱得也很好，和以前一样好。”
“Maybe I’ll come by the square again before we leave. Listen to you playing with your crew.”
“也许在我们离开之前我会再到广场去一次。去听听你和同事们的演出。”
“I hope so, Mr. Gardner.”
“我希望如此，加德纳先生。”
But I never saw him again. I heard a few months later, in the autumn, that Mr. and Mrs. Gardner got their divorce — one of the waiters at the Florian read it somewhere and told me. It all came back to me then about that evening, and it made me feel a little sad thinking about it again. Because Mr. Gardner had seemed a pretty decent guy, and whichever way you look at it, comeback or no comeback, he’ll always be one of the greats.
可是我没有再见到他。几个月后，秋天的时候，我听说加德纳先生和加德纳太太离婚了——弗洛里安的一个侍者在哪里看到，告诉我的。那天晚上的情景再次浮现在我的脑海里，而且回想起这件事情，我黯然神伤。因为加德纳先生看上去是个很正派的人，不管你怎么看，无论复出与否，他都是伟大的歌手之一。
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