The wedding flowed into the reception party smoothly — proof of Alice’s flawless planning. It was just twilight over the river; the ceremony had lasted exactly the right amount of time, allowing the sun to set behind the trees. The lights in the trees glimmered as Edward led me through the glass back doors, making the white flowers glow. There were another ten thousand flowers out here, serving as a fragrant, airy tent over the dance floor set up on the grass under two of the ancient cedars.
婚礼流畅地转变为一场接待的派对，证明了爱丽丝那天衣无缝的计划。河边正是薄暮黄昏；仪式的时间正好够夕阳从树后落下。当爱德华领着我穿过玻璃的后门时，树上的华灯点亮的正是时候，将白色的鲜花照耀愈发鲜艳。那里还有大约一万朵鲜花，香气弥漫。草地上的两棵古老雪松间支起的轻盈纱幔，笼罩在舞池上方。
Things slowed down, relaxed as the mellow August evening surrounded us. The little crowd spread out under the soft shine of the twinkle lights, and we were greeted again by the friends we’d just embraced. There was time to talk now, to laugh.
节奏慢了下来，放松得好像仲夏夜。人群在柔和的灯光下发散开来，而我们两个又再一次受到了才刚拥抱过我们的朋友们的欢迎。现在是该尽情畅谈，尽情欢笑的时候了。
“Congrats, guys,” Seth Clearwater told us, ducking his head under the edge of a flower garland. His mother, Sue, was tight by his side, eyeing the guests with wary intensity. Her face was thin and fierce, an expression that was accented by her short, severe hairstyle; it was as short as her daughter Leah’s — I wondered if she’d cut it the same way in a show of solidarity.
“恭喜你们啊，”塞思·克里尔沃特对我们说，一边还把花环扣在了头上。他的母亲，苏，紧跟在他身边，她小心谨慎地看着来宾。她的脸干瘦而又凶相，和她女儿利亚一样的精悍短发，加剧了凝重的表情。我怀疑她的头发是不是和她女儿一起在誓师大会一起理的。
When I looked at Jacob’s father, I always felt like I was seeing two people rather than just one. There was the old man in the wheelchair with the lined face and the white smile that everyone else saw. And then there was the direct descendant of a long line of powerful, magical chieftains, cloaked in the authority he’d been born with. Though the magic had — in the absence of a catalyst — skipped his generation, Billy was still a part of the power and the legend. It flowed straight through him. It flowed to his son, the heir to the magic, who had turned his back on it. That left Sam Uley to act as the chief of legends and magic now…
当我看着雅各布的父亲，总有种错觉我能看到两个人的影子而不是一个。这个坐在轮椅上的老人，脸上满是皱纹，惨白的笑容每个人都能看到。作为长久以来强大、具有神奇力量的首领的世袭者，他与生俱来就被赋予了这样一种权威。虽然这个魔法由于缺少催化剂的作用在他身上无法显现，Billy仍然被视作权威的象征和传奇人物。这份神力流传到他的身上，也同样流传到了他儿子的身上，但后者却放弃了这样的权利、地位。甘愿让山姆·乌利 成为这一传奇和神力的领袖……
Billy seemed oddly at ease considering the company and the event — his black eyes sparkled like he’d just gotten some good news. I was impressed by his composure. This wedding must have seemed a very bad thing, the worst thing that could happen to his best friend’s daughter, in Billy’s eyes.
在这样的晚会和这样的人群中，比利显得异常放松。他黑色的眼珠子神采奕奕，好像刚得来什么好消息。他的这份淡定给我留下了深刻的印象。本来在比利眼中，这场婚礼应该是件极为糟糕的事情，发生在他朋友的女儿身上最糟的事情。
I knew it wasn’t easy for him to restrain his feelings, considering the challenge this event foreshadowed to the ancient treaty between the Cullens and the Quileutes — the treaty that prohibited the Cullens from ever creating another vampire. The wolves knew a breach was coming, but the Cullens had no idea how they would react. Before the alliance, it would have meant an immediate attack. A war. But now that they knew each other better, would there be forgiveness instead?
我知道要完全不产生抵触情绪并不是件容易的事情，尤其这场晚会还有更深的涵——挑战卡伦家族和奎鲁特部落达成的古老条约，条约禁止卡伦家族制造其他吸血鬼。狼人们知道违背约定的那一天就要来临，而同时卡伦家族也不知道他们会有什么反应。在结盟之前，这无疑会触发一轮攻击，一场大战。但是现在，他们更了解对方了，那会不会获得原谅？
Billy Black, on Seth’s other side, was not as tense as Sue.
比利·布莱克在塞思的另一边，并不像苏那么紧张。
I saw Sue shudder delicately.
我看见苏微微地一个哆嗦。
As if in response to that thought, Seth leaned toward Edward, arms extended. Edward returned the hug with his free arm.
就好像要回答我的问题，塞思倚向爱德华，伸开双臂。爱德华用另一侧空着的手还以一个拥抱。
“It’s good to see things work out for you, man,” Seth said. “I’m happy for you.”
“看得出事情进行得很顺利，兄弟，”塞思接着说。“我为你感到高兴。”
“Thank you, Seth. That means a lot to me.” Edward pulled away from Seth and looked at Sue and Billy. “Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today.”
“谢谢，塞思。这对我意义重大。”爱德华松开塞思，又看向苏和比利。“也谢谢你们。感谢你们能让塞思出席，也感谢你们今天对贝拉的支持。”
“You’re welcome,” Billy said in his deep, gravelly voice, and I was surprised at the optimism in his tone. Perhaps a stronger truce was on the horizon.
“别客气。”比利说话的嗓音还是那么深沉和沙哑，但是我却惊喜地发现他语调中流露出的乐观。或许一份更可靠的停战协议有望了。
Behind my human friends were my new cousins-in-law, the Denali vampire clan. I realized I was holding my breath as the vampire in front — Tanya, I assumed from the strawberry tint in her blond curls — reached out to embrace Edward. Next to her, three other vampires with golden eyes stared at me with open curiosity. One woman had long, pale blond hair, straight as corn silk. The other woman and the man beside her were both black-haired, with a hint of an olive tone to their chalky complexions.
紧接着我人类朋友们后面的是我新的堂兄弟，来自德纳里峰的吸血鬼家族。我屏住呼吸，看到站在最前面的吸血鬼——坦尼娅，金色卷发中挑染了莓红，我从这一点上认出了她。她伸出手去拥抱爱德华。在她后面的另外三个吸血鬼都用他们金色的眼睛盯着我看，丝毫不掩饰他们的好奇。其中一个女子有一头像蚕丝般长长的，浅金色直发。她身边的另一名女子和男子都是黑发，使他们苍白的肌肤略显橄榄棕的色调。
A bit of a line was forming, so Seth waved goodbye and wheeled Billy toward the food. Sue kept one hand on each of them.
看后面已经排起了队，塞思挥手告别，推着比利去吃东西了。苏则将两只手分别搭在两个人肩上。
Angela and Ben were the next to claim us, followed by Angela’s parents and then Mike and Jessica — who were, to my surprise, holding hands. I hadn’t heard that they were together again. That was nice.
安吉拉和本紧接着恭喜我们的，排在Angela的父母后面则是迈克和杰西卡，出乎我的意料，他们两个正十指紧扣。我没听说过后来他们两人又在一起了呀。这真是太好了。
And they were all four so beautiful that it made my stomach hurt.
他们四个都是那么漂亮，让我的胃一阵绞痛。
Tanya was still holding Edward.
坦尼娅仍然拥着爱德华。
“Ah, Edward,” she said. “I’ve missed you.”
“啊，爱德华，”她说。“我真想念你啊。”
Edward chuckled and deftly maneuvered out of the hug, placing his hand lightly on her shoulder and stepping back, as if to get a better look at her. “It’s been too long, Tanya. You look well.”
爱德华浅笑了一下，熟练地挣脱了她的拥抱，他轻轻地把手按在她的肩上，并向后退了一步，好像想要把她看清楚。“已经好久不见了，坦尼娅。你看上很不错。”
“Let me introduce you to my wife.” It was the first time Edward had said that word since it was officially true; he seemed like he would explode with satisfaction saying it now. The Denalis all laughed lightly in response. “Tanya, this is my Bella.”
“容我给你介绍我的妻子。”这是第一次爱德华如此正式地说出这个字眼；而且看起来他说到这个单词时已经一副开心到要爆了的样子。惹得德纳里峰家族的人一阵轻笑。“坦尼娅，这位是我的贝拉。”
“So do you.”
“你也是。”
Tanya was every bit as lovely as my worst nightmares had predicted. She eyed me with a look that was much more speculative than it was resigned, and then reached out to take my hand.
如同我最糟糕的噩梦中所预见的那样，坦尼娅浑身上下都可爱极了。她看我的眼神更多的是一种若有所思，而不是以前那种逃避。接着她向我伸出手。
“Welcome to the family, Bella.” She smiled, a little rueful. “We consider ourselves Carlisle’s extended family, and I am sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?”
“欢迎加入这个家庭，贝拉。卡莱尔家又壮大了，我们好像是自己的喜事一样感到高兴。我也为，额，最近的那次意外我们没有出力感到抱歉。不然我们早该见面了。你能原谅我们吗？”
The dark-haired woman put her hand on top of Kate’s. “I’m Carmen, this is Eleazar. We’re all so very pleased to finally meet you.”
黑发女子将她的手叠在了Kate的上面。“我叫卡门，这位是以利亚撒。我们都高兴终于能见到你了。”
“Of course,” I said breathlessly. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“当然，”我上气不接下气地回答。“很高兴见到你。”
“We’ll get to know each other later. We’ll have eons of time for that!” Tanya laughed as she and her family moved on.
“我们以后会有时间相互了解的。我们会有大把的时间的！”坦尼娅跟随她的家人向前移动的时候，笑着对我说。
“The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?” She grinned at the blonde.
“现在卡伦家的男女人数已经达到平衡了。兴许下次就该轮到我们了，额，凯特？”她朝那个金发的女子咧嘴笑笑。
“Keep the dream alive,” Kate said with a roll of her golden eyes. She took my hand from Tanya’s and squeezed it gently. “Welcome, Bella.”
“梦想不灭，”凯特说着张了张她金色的眼睛。她从坦尼娅手中接过我的手，礼貌地握了握。“欢迎，贝拉。”
Tanya glanced at the people waiting behind her — Charlie’s deputy, Mark, and his wife. Their eyes were huge as they took in the Denali clan.
坦尼娅迅速看了一眼排在她后面的人们，那是卡莱尔的副警长，迈克和他妻子。被安排在德纳里峰这一列，他们都吃惊得瞪大了眼睛。
‘M-me, too,” I stuttered.
“我——我也是。”我结结巴巴地应答。
All the standard traditions were kept. I was blinded by flashbulbs as we held the knife over a spectacular cake — too grand, I thought, for our relatively intimate group of friends and family. We took turns shoving cake in each other’s faces; Edward manfully swallowed his portion as I watched in disbelief. I threw my bouquet with atypical skill, right into Angela’s surprised hands. Emmett and Jasper howled with laughter at my blush while Edward removed my borrowed garter — which I’d shimmied down nearly to my ankle — very carefully with his teeth. With a quick wink at me, he shot it straight into Mike Newton’s face.
所有标准的传统流程都被保留了下来。当我俩手执一把刀切下壮观的大蛋糕时，我都快被闪光灯给照瞎了。说蛋糕壮观，是因为它过于巨大了，远远超过我们朋友和家人所需的份额。于是我们开始轮流将蛋糕扣在别人脸上；我还难以置信地看到爱德华非常具有男子气魄地将他那份蛋糕给吞了下去。我用不标准的姿势直接将捧花扔进了安吉拉惊讶的手中。我借来的吊带袜不知何时已经垮到了脚踝，爱德华仔细地用他的利牙帮我去掉了它。就在他帮我移除吊带的时候，埃米特和贾斯帕起哄地笑声又一次让我涨红了脸。爱德华朝我飞快地使了个眼色，他将弹力带直接射向了迈克·牛顿的脸。
And when the music started, Edward pulled me into his arms for the customary first dance; I went willingly, despite my fear of dancing — especially dancing in front of an audience — just happy to have him holding me. He did all the work, and I twirled effortlessly under the glow of a canopy of lights and the bright flashes from the cameras.
当音乐响起，爱德华将我拉入他的臂弯中，礼俗上他应该请我跳第一支舞。尽管我仍然惧怕跳舞，尤其是当众跳舞，但是我还是自发地跟了上去，只要有他搂着我就很高兴了。他做了所有的事情，我只消在炫目灼热的灯光下和相机的闪光灯中，不费力地旋转就好了。
“Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?” he whispered in my ear.
“好好享受派对，卡伦太太？”他在我耳边低语。
I laughed. “That will take a while to get used to.”
我笑了。“那个称呼还要花上一些时间来适应。”
Cameras clicked feverishly.
又是一阵集中的相机快门声。
“We have a while,” he reminded me, his voice exultant, and he leaned down to kiss me while we danced.
“我们有得是‘一些时间’，”他提醒我，他的声音是那样欢快，我们一边舞着，他还俯下身来亲吻了我。
The music changed, and Charlie tapped on Edward’s shoulder.
音乐变换了，查理拍拍爱德华的肩膀。
It wasn’t nearly as easy to dance with Charlie. He was no better at it than I was, so we moved safely from side to side in a tiny square formation. Edward and Esme spun around us like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
和查理一起跳舞并不容易。他的水平也就和我的差不多，所以我们，安全起见地挨着边跳舞，小小地转个圈。相形之下，在我们身边翩翩起舞的爱德华和埃斯米的舞姿，就好像弗雷德·阿斯泰尔和金吉·罗杰斯一般。（好莱坞最伟大的舞蹈搭档，舞王，舞后。）
I spoke through a tight throat, trying to make a joke of it. “I feel just horrible, leaving you to cook for yourself — it’s practically criminal negligence. You could arrest me.”
我用干涩的喉咙想说些什么，试着开个玩笑。“我感觉太可怕了，让你自己煮饭——这是典型的过失犯罪。你可以逮捕我。”
“I’m going to miss you at home, Bella. I’m already lonely.”
“我会在家里想你的，贝拉，我现在已经感到孤寂了。”
“Yeah, right.”
“恩，是啊。”
It seemed like I danced with everyone. It was good to see all my old friends, but I really wanted to be with Edward more than anything else. I was happy when he finally cut in, just half a minute after a new dance started.
我后来似乎和所有人都跳了舞。见到老朋友固然高兴，但是我真正只想和爱德华在一起。当新的舞曲开始仅半分钟，我很高兴他终于插了进来。
“You are very biased, you know.”
“你知道吗，你总是会偏袒我。”
“Still not that fond of Mike, eh?” I commented as Edward whirled me away from him.
“仍然不喜欢迈克，嗯？”当爱德华领着我从他身边旋开时，我这样评价道。
“I promise.”
“我保证。”
“Have you had a chance to look at yourself?”
“你有没有看过你自己？”
He grinned. “I suppose I’ll survive the food. Just call me whenever you can.”
他咧嘴笑笑。“我认为吃饭不会有什么问题。任何时候，只要你可以，打电话给我。”
“Um. No, I guess not. Why?”
“额。不，我想没有。为什么这么问？”
“Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He’s lucky I didn’t kick him out. Or worse.”
“当我听到他脑袋中所想的那些东西，我就喜欢不起来。他很幸运我没把他踢出去。或者更糟。”
“Then I suppose you don’t realize how utterly, heart-breakingly beautiful you are tonight. I’m not surprised Mike’s having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. I am disappointed that Alice didn’t make sure you were forced to look in a mirror.”
“我认为你并没有意识到你今晚是多么的超凡脱俗，美得令人心醉。所以迈克会对有夫之妇萌生不恰当的想法，我一点也不感到意外。我失望的是Alice竟然没有拉你去好好照照镜子。”
He sighed and then paused and turned me around to face the house. The wall of glass reflected the party back like a long mirror. Edward pointed to the couple in the mirror directly across from us.
他轻叹了一声，接着停下舞步，让我转过身去面对着屋子。墙上的玻璃就像镜子一般映射出屋外的派对。爱德华指指镜中那对和我们对面对站着的夫妇。
I caught just a glimpse of Edward’s reflection — a perfect duplicate of his perfect face — with a dark-haired beauty at his side. Her skin was cream and roses, her eyes were huge with excitement and framed with thick lashes. The narrow sheath of the shimmering white dress flared out subtly at the train almost like an inverted calla lily, cut so skillfully that her body looked elegant and graceful — while it was motionless, at least.
我瞧了一眼爱德华的倒影——他完美的脸孔的完美复制——他身边站着一位黑发的美人。她的皮肤雪白中又透出一些玫红；厚重的睫毛下，她的眼睛因为兴奋而瞪得大大的。闪闪发亮的白色紧身礼服，在裙摆部分陡然向外蓬开，像极了一朵倒置的马蹄莲，细腻的剪裁衬托出她高雅、优美的身体曲线，最起码现在她一动不动的时候看起来是这样。
“Biased, am I?”
“偏心，是这样吗？”
Before I could blink and make the beauty turn back into me, Edward suddenly stiffened and turned automatically in the other direction, as if someone had called his name.
在我还来不及从惊愕中反应过来，让镜中的美人转身背对我时，爱德华突然浑身紧绷，转向了另一个方向，好像有人在叫唤他的名字。
“Oh!” he said. His brow furrowed for an instant and then smoothed out just as quickly.
“噢！”他说。他的眉头一下子紧锁，不过旋即就舒展了开来。
Suddenly, he was smiling a brilliant smile.
突然，他露出一个灿烂的笑容。
He didn’t answer; he just started dancing again, spinning me the opposite way we’d been headed before, away from the lights and then into the deep swath of night that ringed the luminous dance floor.
他没有回答，而是又接着开始跳起舞来，领我向反方向转去，渐渐远离了灯光，夜色环上了闪着微弱光亮的舞池地板。
“What is it?” I asked.
“是什么？”我问他。
“A surprise wedding gift.”
“一份意外的结婚礼物。”
He didn’t pause until we reached the dark side of one of the huge cedars. Then Edward looked straight into the blackest shadow.
直到我们到达了一颗雪松下的阴暗中，他才停下脚步。爱德华直直地朝最暗的一片阴影望去。
“Huh?”
“嗯？”
“Thank you,” Edward said to the darkness. “This is very… kind of you.”
“谢谢，”爱德华对着一片黑暗说。“你真是太……太好了。”
My hand flew up to my throat, and if Edward hadn’t been holding me I would have collapsed.
我的手卡住脖子，如果没有爱德华扶住我的话，我可能就瘫倒在地了。
“Jacob!” I choked as soon as I could breathe. “Jacob!”
“雅各布！”我虽然感觉我又能呼吸了但立刻又哽咽住了。“雅各布！”
“Kind is my middle name,” a husky familiar voice answered from the black night. “Can I cut in?”
“善良是我的人生格言，”暗夜中一个干哑但又熟悉的声音回答说。“我能打断你们（和新娘跳个舞）吗？”
“Hey there, Bells.”
“我在这，贝拉。”
I stumbled toward the sound of his voice. Edward kept his grip under my elbow until another set of strong hands caught me in the darkness. The heat from Jacob’s skin burned right through the thin satin dress as he pulled me close. He made no effort to dance; he just hugged me while I buried my face in his chest. He leaned down to press his cheek to the top of my head.
我寻着他的声音跌跌撞撞地走过去。爱德华紧紧地托住我的胳膊，直到黑暗中的另一双结识的手接住了我。就在雅各布把我拉近的那一霎那，他皮肤的热度立刻就穿透薄薄的丝缎礼服传遍开来。他毫不费力地就开始跳起舞来，他就这样抱着我，而我把脸埋在他的胸口。他俯下身将他的脸颊贴在我的头顶上。
“Oh, Jacob.” I was crying now; I couldn’t get the words out clearly. “Thank you.”
“噢，雅各布。”我现在已经哭了起来，连话都讲不清楚了。“谢谢。”
“Rosalie won’t forgive me if she doesn’t get her official turn on the dance floor,” Edward murmured, and I knew he was leaving us, giving me a gift of his own — this moment with Jacob.
“罗莎莉不会原谅我，如果我没有正式请她跳支舞的话，”爱德华喃喃自语地说着，我知道他想留我们两个单独待会儿，这是他送我的礼物。
“Stop blubbering, Bella. You’ll ruin your dress. It’s just me.”
“别哭哭啼啼的了，贝拉。你会弄脏你的裙子的。就只是我而已嘛。”
“That was the idea.”
“就是那样。”
Jacob pulled back a little bit and straightened up. He left one hand on the small of my back and grabbed my right hand with the other. He cradled our hands to his chest; I could feel his heart beat under my palm, and I guessed that he hadn’t placed my hand there accidentally.
雅各布向后退了一下，直起身子。他的左手扶在我的背上，另一只手握着我的右手，并一起贴在了他的胸口。我可以感觉到他的心脏在我的手掌下跳动，我也可以猜到他并不是无意识地把手放在了那里。
I felt his lips brush my hair. “Sorry I’m late, honey.”
我感到他的嘴唇扫过我的发丝。“对不起，我来晚了，亲爱的。”
“He’ll be so glad you’re home.”
“你回家了，他会很高兴的。”
“Just? Oh, Jake! Everything is perfect now.”
“而已？噢，杰克！现在一切都已经圆满了。”
He snorted. “Yeah — the party can start. The best man finally made it.”
他扑哧一笑。“是啊——派对可以开始了。伴郎终于赶到了。”
“I’m sure Sam’s told him. I’ll go see him when… when the party’s over.”
“我肯定山姆已经告诉他了。我会去看他在……在派对结束之后。”
I glanced toward the guests, but I couldn’t see through the dancers to the spot where I’d last seen Jacob’s father. I didn’t know if he’d stayed. “Does Billy know you’re here?” As soon as I asked, I knew that he must have — it was the only way to explain his uplifted expression before.
我朝宾客中望去，但是我无法透过跳舞的人们看到雅各布的父亲之前在的地方。我不知道他是不是在逗留在这里。“比利知道你会来吗？”这个问题我一问出口，就知道他一定已经知道了，这也是为什么今晚他如此淡定的唯一解释了。
“I’m just so happy you came!”
“我很高兴你最终还是来了。”
“I don’t know if I get more than just this one dance,” he said, and he began pulling me around in a slow circle that didn’t match the tempo of the music coming from behind us. “I’d better make the best of it.”
“我不知道我是不是只有这一支舞的机会，”他说着，拉起我缓缓地转起圈来，与身后传来的音乐节奏完全不搭调。“我最好好好地表现。”
“Now everyone I love is here.”
“所有我爱的人都在这里了。”
“I’m glad I came,” Jacob said quietly after a moment. “I didn’t think I would be. But it’s good to see you… one more time. Not as sad as I’d thought it would be.”
“我很高兴我来了，”过了一会儿雅各布静静地开口说道。“我没有想过我会来。但是能……又一次见到你，真好。并没有我想象地那么悲伤。”
“No — it makes me very happy that you came. It’s the best gift you could have given me.”
“不——你能来我高兴极了。这是你能给我的最好的礼物了。”
We moved to the rhythm of his heart under my hand.
我们开始和着我手下他心跳的节奏舞动起来。
“I don’t want you to feel sad.”
“我不希望你感到悲伤。”
“I know that. And I didn’t come tonight to make you feel guilty.”
“我知道的。我今晚来也不是为了让你背负更多的负罪感。”
He laughed. “That’s good, because I didn’t have time to stop for a real present.”
他笑了起来。“那就好，因为我没有时间停下来买一份真正的礼物。”
My eyes were adjusting, and I could see his face now, higher up than I expected. Was it possible that he was still growing? He had to be closer to seven feet than to six. It was a relief to see his familiar features again after all this time — his deep-set eyes shadowed under his shaggy black brows, his high cheekbones, his full lips stretched over his bright teeth in the sarcastic smile that matched his tone. His eyes were tight around the edges — careful; I could see that he was being very careful tonight. He was doing all he could to make me happy, to not slip and show how much this cost him.
我的视力经过调整，已经可以看清他的脸了，比我预想的还要高。他是不是还在生长？他已经接近七尺了，而不是六尺。过了那么长时间，能再次见到这些熟悉的轮廓让我安心不少。浓密的黑色眉毛下是他深邃的黑色眼睛，高高的颧骨，饱满的嘴唇向后缩去露出闪亮的白牙，配合他说话的语调，扯出一个挖苦的笑容。他的双眸打着转——小心地；我看出他今晚很谨慎。他做了所有他能做的让我开心，不闪躲，也不让我看到他为此所付出的代价。
I’d never done anything good enough to deserve a friend like Jacob.
我却从来没有为雅各布这样一位朋友做过任何事情。
“When did you decide to come back?”
“你什么时候决定要回来的？”
We revolved steadily.
我们就这样一圈又一圈地旋转着。
“Right.” Werewolf senses. It was easy to forget all the things he could do, he seemed so human. Especially right now.
“是啊。”狼人的感觉。他看起来那么像人类，很容易让人忘记他作为狼人所能做到的事情。尤其是现在。
“Consciously or subconsciously?” He took a deep breath before he answered his own question. “I don’t really know. I guess I’ve been wandering back this direction for a while, and maybe it’s because I was headed here. But it wasn’t until this morning that I really started running. I didn’t know if I could make it.” He laughed. “You wouldn’t believe how weird this feels — walking around on two legs again. And clothes! And then it’s more bizarre because it feels weird. I didn’t expect that. I’m out of practice with the whole human thing.”
“有意识的，还是无意识的？”在他回答自己的问题之前，他深深吸了口气。“我不清楚。我猜我已经往回徘徊了有好一阵子了，或许我已经决定了要往这儿来。但是直到今天早上我才开始奔跑起来，不知道是否能赶得上。”他笑了起来。“你不会相信这种感觉有多奇怪——再次用两条腿行走。还有衣服！异样的感觉让我看上去更为古怪。这是我原来没有想到。我已经对人类的行为生疏了。”
“Alice invested a lot of time in me today. The dark helps, too.”
“爱丽丝今天在我身上可是花了大量的时间的。当然黑夜也有帮助。”
“It would have been a shame to miss seeing you like this, though. That’s worth the trip right there. You look unbelievable, Bella. So beautiful.”
“话说回来，如果错失见到这样的你，将会是我的遗憾。这值得我大老远跑回来。你看起来是如此难以置信，贝拉，那么的美丽动人。”
“It’s not so dark for me, you know.”
“你知道，对我来说这还不算黑暗。”
“I’m not just bugging him because of you. I like Seth.”
“我并不是因为你才去烦塞思的，我挺喜欢他的。”
“Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy people’s voices don’t send babysitters to watch them.”
“精神错乱总好过要和一伙狼分享我的思想。因为没人会去听疯子的声音的。”
“Yes.”
“是的。”
“Yeah. Easier, you know. Thought I’d better take advantage of the hands.”
“是的。你知道这次容易多了。我认为我最好多锻炼下双手。”
“Okay.” I felt his shoulders shrug. “That’s the main thing, I guess.”
“那就好，”我感觉到他耸耸肩。“那是最重要的事情。我认为。”
“In your case, that would mean you’re insane. Of course, I already knew that you were insane,” he teased.
“如果你能这样做的话，那样只能说明你精神错乱了。当然，我早就知道你是精神错乱的。”他取笑我。
“I’m fine, Bella, really. You don’t need to worry about me anymore. You can stop bugging Seth.”
“我很好，贝拉，真的。你不需要再为我担心了，也可以停止去骚扰塞思了。”
“How are you, Jacob? Really?”
“你怎么样，雅各布？说实话。”
He snorted. “Right. I did it myself, with rusty kitchen shears.” He grinned widely for a moment, and then his smile faded. His expression turned serious. “Are you happy, Bella?”
他开心地笑了。“是的。我自己剪的，用生锈的厨房剪刀。”他咧开大嘴笑了起来，接着他的笑容淡了下去。他的表情严肃起来。“你幸福吗，贝拉？”
I laughed at the way it sounded. “Yeah, I can’t get mine to shut up, either.”
这个主意听上去让人好笑。“是的，我也会把我的嘴闭上的。”
“He’s a good kid. Better company than some. I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being a wolf would be about perfect.”
“他是个好孩子。比起某些人，是个不错的伙伴。我告诉你，如果我能摆脱脑海中的声音，做一头狼是件很棒的事情。”
“It looks good,” I lied.
“看上去很不错。”我撒谎了。
“You cut your hair,” I noted.
“你剪了头发，”我注意到。
“Thanks.”
“谢谢。”
“Well, maybe I’m being oversensitive. Maybe they’d be here anyway, to keep an eye on Seth. There are a lot of vampires here. Seth doesn’t take that as seriously as he should.”
“嗯，或许是我多心了。或许他们不管怎么样都会在那里的，留心塞思。这里有太多的吸血鬼，而塞思却不够警惕。”
He groaned at my bad joke and then sighed. “I’m just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time.”
我的冷笑话让他大叫了起来，接着叹息着说。“我到这儿来是作为你的朋友的。你最好的朋友，最后一次了。”
“Seth knows that he’s not in any danger. He understands the Cullens better than Sam does.”
“塞思知道他不会有任何危险。他可比山姆了解卡伦家的人多得多。”
“Sam should give you more credit.”
“山姆应该多给你些信心的。”
It was strange to have him being the diplomat.
让他作为外交使者，真是有种讲不出的奇怪。
“Good thing you’re so tall.”
“好在你个子够高。”
“Sam’s out there. And some of the others. Just in case, you know.”
“山姆在外面，还有其他人。你知道，以防万一。”
“Huh?”
“嗯？”
“That’s a tall order.”
“那是个很高的要求。”
“To make it perfect.”
“是来让一切变得完美的。”
“Sure, sure,” Jacob said, making peace before it could turn into a fight.
“当然，当然，”雅各布在我们起争执前，努力缓和了局面。
“In case I can’t keep it together, something like that. In case I decide to trash the party.” He flashed a quick smile at what was probably an appealing thought to him. “But I’m not here to ruin your wedding, Bella. I’m here to…” He trailed off.
“万一我不服从组织，之类的。万一我是来搞砸派对的。”对于这个可能的想法，他的脸上快速闪过一丝笑容。“但是我不是到这里来破坏你的婚礼的，贝拉。我到这里来是……”他的声音小了下去。
“In case of what?”
“万一什么？”
“Sorry about those voices,” I said. “Wish I could make it better.” In so many ways. “It’s not that bad. I’m just whining a little.”
“我为那些声音感到抱歉，”我说。“我希望我能做得更好的。”各个方面来说。“没有那么糟，我只是在发发牢骚而已。”
“Yeah. Can’t get enough attention.”
“是啊。我还嫌不够瞩目呢。”
“You’re… happy?”
“那你……幸福吗？”
He laughed and then stared over my head. With pursed lips, he studied the shimmering glow of the reception party, the graceful whirl of the dancers, the fluttering petals falling from the garlands; I looked with him. It all seemed very distant from this black, quiet space. Almost like watching the white flurries swirling inside a snow globe.
他笑了起来，越过我的脑袋向前望去。他噘起嘴巴，沉默地看着闪亮热闹的舞会，翩翩起舞的舞者，花冠上飘荡下来的花瓣；我和他一起看着。从这个黑暗、安静的地方看过去，那些画面都显得好遥远，就像看着雪花球中卷起的白色风暴。
“You’d think I’d be used to telling you goodbye by now,” he murmured.
“你刚刚是不是在想我要和你说再见了？”他喃喃地说。
We turned in another circle.
我们又开始转起圈来。
He sighed. “Song’s over. Do you think I get another one? Or is that asking too much?”
他叹气说。“音乐结束了。你认为我还可以再跳一曲吗？还是我得寸进尺了？”
“I’ll give them this much,” he said. “They know how to throw a party.”
“我要给他们大大的表扬，”他说。“他们对搞派对很有一手。”
“Close enough. But enough about me. You’re the star today.” He chuckled. “I bet you’re just loving that. Center of attention.”
“很接近了，但是对我来说已经足够了。你是今天的明星哦。”他轻笑了声。“我敢打赌你还是很喜欢这种感觉的，万众瞩目的焦点。”
I tightened my hand around his. “You can have as many dances as you want.”
我紧了紧环在他身上的手。“你想跳多少支舞都可以。”
He laughed. “That would be interesting. I think I’d better stick with two, though. Don’t want to start talk.”
他笑着说。“那可真有趣，虽然我本来只是想跳两支就可以了。别说话了。”
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but I couldn’t force it down.
我竭力想把堵在喉咙口的东西咽下去，但是却做不到。
“Alice is an unstoppable force of nature.”
“爱丽丝有种永不止步的天性。”
I deliberately stomped on his foot as hard as I could.
我用尽全力狠狠地踩了他一脚。
“I’m going to try to remember you like this. Pretend that…”
“我会尝试记得你的这个样子。假装……”
“Right.”
“是的。”
He clenched his teeth. He was struggling with himself — with his decision to make his presence here a gift and not a judgment. I could guess what he wanted to say.
他咬紧牙关。他正在和自己的决定做斗争，他到这里来是想给我一份贺礼的，而不是来审判我的。我想我能猜到他接下去要说的话。
“Then smile.”
“那么就笑一个。”
I tried. He laughed at my grimace.
我试了下，却被他嘲笑了我的愁眉苦脸像。
“You’re not supposed to be the one crying, Bella.”
“你今天不应该哭的，贝拉。”
“That what? That I died?”
“假装什么？假装我已经死了么？”
My relationship with Jacob used to be so easy. Natural as breathing. But since Edward had come back into my life, it was a constant strain. Because — in Jacob’s eyes — by choosing Edward, I was choosing a fate that was worse than death, or at least equivalent to it.
我和雅各布之间的关系本来是那么单纯。自然得好像呼吸。直到爱德华回到了我的生命中，这层关系开始变了味。因为在雅各布看来，我选择了爱德华，就选择了死亡，甚至更晦暗的命运。
Jacob looked at me and frowned. He wiped his fingers across my cheek, catching the tears there.
雅各布看着我，皱起了眉头。他用手指抚过我的脸颊，拭去了上面的泪水。
“No,” he finally answered. “But I’ll see you this way in my head. Pink cheeks. Heartbeat. Two left feet. All of that.”
“不，”最后他终于这样说。“但是我可以在我的脑海中回想这样的你。粉粉的脸颊。有心跳。笨手笨脚的。所有这一切。”
“Everyone cries at weddings,” I said thickly.
“每个人都会在婚礼上哭泣的。”我带着厚重的鼻音说。
“This is what you want, right?”
“这都是你想要的，不是吗？”
He started to say something else and then snapped his mouth closed. Struggling again, teeth gritted against the words he didn’t want to say.
他开始说些其他的事情，但突然猛地合上嘴。再次陷入了挣扎，牙齿磨碎了那些不想说出口的话。
He smiled. “That’s my girl.”
他笑了。“这才是我的女孩啊。”
“I — I… I don’t have anything to tell you.”
“我——我……我没有任何事情要对你说的。”
“Very funny.”
“很好笑哦。”
“You’d rather spend it how? Playing checkers? Ha ha.”
“你就那么想度蜜月吗？玩西洋棋？哈哈。”
“Oh,” he said, trying to smother his relief. “Oh.”
“哦，”他试着掩饰自己的放松。“哦。”
Jacob was even more obsessed with my humanity than Edward. He treasured every one of my heartbeats, knowing that they were numbered.
比起爱德华，雅各布更执着于我的人性。他珍视我的每一次心跳，知道它们已经屈指可数了。
“It’s not tonight, Jacob,” I whispered.
“不是今晚，雅各布。”我小声地说。
“Ask me.”
“问我啊。”
He struggled for another minute and then exhaled. “I shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter. I’m just morbidly curious.”
他又挣扎了一分钟，最后向外呼了一口气。“我不应该这样做的。没事了。我只是想满足病态的好奇心罢了。”
“It’s true. It’s not… it’s — it’s a question. It’s something I want you to tell me.”
“是真的。我没有……是——是一个问题。我想要你告诉我一件事情。”
A new song started playing, but he didn’t notice the change this time.
一首新的曲子响起了，但是这次他并没有注意到。
His voice changed, took on a defensive, mocking edge. “What’s the holdup?”
他的声音一下子变了，变成了一种防备、嘲弄的语气。“还在等什么呢？”
“What is it, Jake? Just tell me. You can tell me anything.”
“你想说什么，杰克？告诉我呀，你什么都可以对我说的。”
“I just didn’t want to spend my honeymoon writhing in pain.”
“我不想我的蜜月在扭曲的痛苦中度过。”
“I don’t know for sure. A week or two, maybe.”
“我不知道确切的时候。一两个礼拜后吧，大概。”
“When?” he whispered.
“那是什么时候？”他压低了声音。
“Kidding, Bells. But, honestly, I don’t see the point. You can’t have a real honeymoon with your vampire, so why go through the motions? Call a spade a spade. This isn’t the first time you’ve put this off. That’s a good thing, though,” he said, suddenly earnest. “Don’t be embarrassed about it.”
“开玩笑的，贝拉。但是老实说，我看不出重点在哪里。你和你的吸血鬼是不可能有一个真正的蜜月的，那又为什么要流于形式呢？有什么就说出来吧，这已经不是你第一次把这件事情推后了，虽然那也算件好事，”他突然急切起来。“没什么好害羞的。”
Because I knew him so well, I understood.
而我太了解他了，我知道他想知道什么。
“Oh please. Spit it out.”
“噢，求求你了。就说吧。”
“What do you mean? Have a real honeymoon? While you’re still human? Are you kidding? That’s a sick joke, Bella!”
“你什么意思？过一个真正的蜜月？在你还是人类的时候？你在开玩笑吗？不是闹着玩的，贝拉！”
“Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can’t be that stupid! Tell me you’re joking!”
“贝拉！你疯了么？你不能干那桩蠢事！告诉我你是开玩笑的！”
“About what…? Jake? What’s wrong?”
“关于什么……杰克？有什么问题吗？”
He stopped our slow circling abruptly. For a moment, I wondered if he’d finally noticed the music change, and I scrambled in my head for a way to patch up our little tiff before he said goodbye to me. We shouldn’t part on this note.
他停下我们缓慢的舞步。有那么一刻，我还以为他终于注意到了音乐已经变了，为了平息两个人的口角，我还把头凑过去等他跟我告别。看来我们还不能就这样说再见。
His enormous hands gripped the tops of my arms, wrapping all the way around, fingers overlapping.
他巨大的手完全裹住我的上臂，手指和手指扣在一起，抓地紧紧的。
I glared at him. “I said butt out, Jake. This is so not your business. I shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t even be talking about this. It’s private –“
我瞪着他。“我说了不用你管，杰克。不关你的事。我真不应该……我甚至不应该提起这件事。这是私事——”
And then his eyes bulged wide with a strange kind of confused horror.
一种难以名状的困惑所带来的惊恐，让他的眼球都向外凸了出来。
He shook me again. His hands, tight as tourniquets, were quivering, sending vibrations deep into my bones.
他又使劲猛摇。他的手，紧得像止血带，正在不停颤抖着，这股振动一直深入我的骨髓。
He shook me.
他抓着我猛摇。
“What?” he gasped. “What did you say?”
“什么？”他迫切地问道。“你刚才说了什么？”
“I’m not putting anything off,” I snapped. “And yes I can have a real honeymoon! I can do anything I want! Butt out!”
“我没有推迟任何事情，”我大声打断了他。“而且，是的，我可以有一个真正的蜜月！我可以做任何想做的事情！不需要你过问！”
“Ow, Jake! Let go!”
“喔，杰克！放手！”
“Jake — stop!”
“杰克——停下来！”
“Now!” Edward snarled.
“立刻！”爱德华咆哮。
I blinked, and I was on my feet a half dozen feet away from where I’d been standing. Edward was tensed in front of me. There were two enormous wolves braced between him and Jacob, but they did not seem aggressive to me. More like they were trying to prevent the fight.
等我回过神来，我已经站在离刚才的地方有六尺远了。爱德华紧张地护在我前面。两头巨大的狼在他和雅各布之间对峙着，对我倒是没有什么敌意。他们更像是要阻止一场打斗的。
The darkness was suddenly very crowded.
突然，眼前的黑暗躁动起来。
Behind Jacob, there was a low snarl from the black night, and then another, overlapping the first.
从雅各布身后的黑夜中传来一声嗥叫，接着又是另一声，盖过了第一个。
“You’ll hurt her,” Seth whispered. “Let her go.”
“你会伤了她的，”塞思压低了声音。“放她走。”
Jacob seemed frozen as he was, his horrified eyes wide and staring.
雅各布一动不动，他惊恐地双眼张得大大的，注视着我。
“Take your hands off her!” Edward’s voice was cold as ice, sharp as razors.
“把你的手从她身上拿开！”爱德华像冰一样冷，像剃刀一样利的声音响起。
Jacob’s hands dropped to his sides, and the sudden gush of blood through my waiting veins was almost painful. Before I could register more than that, cold hands replaced the hot ones, and the air was suddenly whooshing past me.
雅各布的手重重地摔落下来，垂在身边。长时间缺血的静脉中瞬间涌入的血流几乎让我觉得痛苦。我还来不及调整，只感觉到一双冰冷的双手代替了刚才那双灼热的，还有飞快移动所带来的嗖嗖声。
“Jake, bro, back away,” I heard Seth Clearwater urge. “You’re losing it.”
“杰克，兄弟，往后退，”我听见是塞思·克里尔沃特在努力劝说。“你有些失控了。”
And Seth — gangly, fifteen year old Seth — had his long arms around Jacob’s shaking body, and he was tugging him away. If Jacob phased with Seth so close…
而塞思，瘦高个的，15岁的塞思，把他长长的手臂勾住雅各布还在不断颤抖的身体，想把他拉走。如果这个时候雅各布变身，他靠塞思那么近……
“Seth, get out of the way,” Edward hissed.
“塞思，让到一边去，”爱德华嘘声要求说。
“C’mon, Jake. Let’s go.”
“好了啦，杰克，我们走。”
The three of them — Seth towing, Jake trembling, Sam pushing — disappeared swiftly into the darkness.
塞思拖着，雅各布颤抖着，塞思推着，这三个人很快就消失在了浓重的夜色中。
The wolf looked at Edward. His gaze was not friendly. Edward gave him one cold nod. The wolf huffed and then turned to follow the others, vanishing as they had.
那头狼看向爱德华，目光并不友好。爱德华也冷脸相对。接着，怒气冲冲的狼也转过身跟着其他人走了，像刚才那样消失了。
The biggest wolf, the black one, growled sharply.
最大的那头狼，黑色的那头，厉声的嗥叫划破长空。
The other wolf stared after them. I wasn’t sure, in the weak light, about the color of his fur — chocolate brown, maybe? Was it Quil, then?
另一头狼在后面注视着他们。在昏暗的光线下依稀能辨认他巧克力棕色的毛色，是奎尔吗？我不确定。
“I’ll kill you,” Jacob said, his voice so choked with rage that it was low as a whisper. His eyes, focused on Edward, burned with fury. “I’ll kill you myself! I’ll do it now!” He shuddered convulsively.
“我要杀了你，”雅各布的声音因为愤怒而变成断断续续的低吼。他的目光全落在爱德华身上，燃着狂怒的火焰。“我要亲手杀了你！我现在就要！”他痉挛性地战栗着。
Seth tugged on Jacob again. Jacob was so bewildered with rage that Seth was able to yank him a few feet farther back. “Don’t do it, Jake. Walk away. C’mon.”
塞思又接着开始去扳雅各布，雅各布因为怒火中烧反而有点不知所措，这才使得塞思把他拽开了几尺。“别那样了，杰克。离开吧，听话。”
“It’s all right now, Bella,” Edward murmured.
“都过去了，贝拉，”爱德华喃喃自语。
Sam — the bigger wolf, the black one — joined Seth then. He put his massive head against Jacob’s chest and shoved.
较大的那头黑色的狼是山姆，也加入了塞思。他用他硕大的头部顶住雅各布的胸口并往外推。
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the wolf.
“我很抱歉，”我对那头狼耳语说。
“You did nothing wrong –“
“你什么都没做错——”
“But Jake –“
“但是杰克——”
I shook my head, trying to reorient myself. Before someone noticed? Had anyone missed that?
我摇摇头，努力让自己回复常态。在有人发现之前？真的会有人注意到吗？
“Sam has him in hand. He’s gone.”
“山姆可以搞得定他的。他已经走了。”
He put his arms around me and led me back to the light. When we passed under the twinkle lights, he spun me gently onto the dance floor. We melted in with the other dancers as if our dance had never been interrupted.
他的手环住我，引领我回到了那片光亮中。我们穿过闪烁的灯光，拉着我滑进了舞池。我们与其他的舞者融在了一起，仿佛我们的舞从未被打断过。
“I have such a big mouth! Why would I… I shouldn’t have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?”
“我这个大嘴巴！我为什么……我不希望他为我搞成这个样子。我到底在想些什么呀？”
“My dress?”
“我的裙子看起来怎么样？”
“Don’t worry.” He touched my face. “We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence.”
“别担心了。”他摸摸我的脸。“在有人发现我们不见了之前，我们得回到派对去。”
“Edward, I’m so sorry. I was stupid –“
“爱德华，真对不起，我真笨——”
Then, as I thought about it, I realized the confrontation that had seemed so catastrophic to me had, in reality, been very quiet and short here in the shadows.
就在我想着这些的时候，我意识到这种对峙的局面带来的影响难以磨灭，即使是在这片阴影中，这一切发生地悄无声息而又短暂。
“Give me two seconds,” I pleaded.
“给我两秒钟，”我恳求他。
“All right,” Edward said to himself, and then he looked at me. “Let’s get back.”
“好了，”爱德华是对自己说的，然后看着我。“我们回去吧。”
“You look fine. Not a hair out of place.”
“你看起来好极了。连头发都一丝未乱。”
I took two deep breaths. “Okay. Let’s go.”
我做了两次深呼吸。“好了，我们走吧。”
My insides were chaotic with panic and grief, but that didn’t matter — only the outside mattered right now. Putting on a good show was something I knew I had to master.
我的体内因为痛苦和悲伤变得混沌不堪，不过那无所谓，现在外表才是关键的。把这场秀演好了才是我应该做的。
“I’m fine,” I promised. “I can’t believe I did that. What’s wrong with me?”
“我很好，”我保证说。“我都不敢相信我竟然做到了。我看起来有哪不对劲吗？”
“Are you –“
“你是不是——”
I glanced around at the guests, but no one seemed shocked or frightened. Only the very palest faces there showed any signs of stress, and they hid it well. Jasper and Emmett were on the edge of the floor, close together, and I guessed that they had been nearby during the confrontation.
我环顾四周，没人看起来有被惊吓到的样子。只有一些极其苍白的脸孔流露出一丝压力，但他们将它藏得很好。贾斯帕和埃美特在舞池边并肩站着，我猜刚刚的那场对峙发生的时候他们也一定就在附近。
“Nothing is wrong with you.”
“你没什么不对劲的。”
I expected a quick agreement from Edward, but he was silent.
我期望能立刻得到爱德华的赞同，但是他却沉默着。
He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to mine. “Jacob is right,” he whispered. “What am I thinking?”
他闭上眼睛，将前额抵上我的额头。“雅各布是对的，”他低低地说。“我到底在想些什么呀。”
But my idiocy would not ruin anything else tonight. I would put this away, shove it in a drawer and lock it up to deal with later. There would be plenty of time to flagellate myself for this, and nothing I could do now would help.
但是我的白痴举动不能再毁了今晚的其他事情了。我要把这件事忘掉，扔进抽屉锁起来，直到以后有把握处理为止。我会有很长的时间可以痛斥自己，但是眼下无论我做什么都不会有帮助的。
“It’s over,” I said. “Let’s not think of it again tonight.”
“已经结束了，”我说。“让我今晚不要再去想这件事了。”
I’d been so glad to see Jacob here. I knew the sacrifice it had taken him. And then I’d ruined it, turned his gift into a disaster. I should be quarantined.
我很高兴能在这里见到雅各布，我知道他所做的牺牲。但是我却把这一切都毁了，把他的礼物变成了一场灾难。我应该被拘禁起来。
“Edward?”
“爱德华？”
“Yes,” he sighed.
“是的，”他叹出一口气。
He mumbled something low that sounded almost like “should let him kill me for even thinking…”
他低声咕哝着一些话语，听上去像是在说“应该让他杀了我的，为我曾经想过……”
He stared into my eyes for a moment before answering. “I promise.”
他凝视着我的双眼，然后给出了回答。“我保证。”
“I am,” he whispered.
“我怕。”他低声絮叨。
“He is not.” I tried to keep my face smooth for the watching crowd of friends. “Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly.”
“他不对。”我把脸拉开环顾周围熙熙攘攘的朋友们。“雅各布被偏见蒙蔽了双眼，所以他看不清楚。”
“Don’t be.” I took deep breath and smiled. “By the way, I love you.”
“不要这样。”我深吸了一口气然后给出一个微笑。“还有，我爱你。”
“Thank you. Edward, I’m not afraid.”
“谢谢你，爱德华。我不会再害怕了。”
He smiled just a little in return. “That’s why we’re here.”
他也会给我一个微笑。“这就是我们为什么在这里的原因。”
“Forget Jacob came.” I could do that. I would do that. “For me. Promise that you’ll let this go.”
“忘了雅各布曾来过这儿。”我可以做到，我也必须做到。“为了我。答应我，你会忘了它。”
“Stop it,” I said fiercely. I grabbed his face in my hands and waited until he opened his eyes. “You and me. That’s the only thing that matters. The only thing you’re allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?”
“够了，”我忿忿地喊了出来。我用双手捧着他的脸直到他睁开眼睛。“你和我，才是最为重要的事情。也是你现在唯一允许想的事情。你能听到吗？”
“You’re monopolizing the bride,” Emmett said, coming up behind Edward’s shoulder. “Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush.” He laughed loudly, as unaffected as he usually was by any serious atmosphere.
“你这样会让新娘觉得无聊的哦，”埃美特从爱德华的身后走出来。“让我也和我的小妹妹跳一支舞。这可是我最后一次可以让她脸红的机会喽。”他大声地笑了起来，就像往常一样，丝毫不会被周遭严肃的气氛影响到。
“I could get used to this,” I said.
“我可以习惯这一切，”我说。
It turned out there were actually lots of people I hadn’t danced with yet, and that gave me a chance to truly compose and resolve myself. When Edward claimed me again, I found that the Jacob-drawer was shut nice and tight. As he wrapped his arms around me, I was able to unearth my earlier sense of joy, my certainty that everything in my life was in the right place tonight. I smiled and laid my head against his chest. His arms tightened.
现在好像又冒出许多人还没有和我跳过舞的，也正好给了我个整理心情、平复情绪的机会。当爱德华再次出现在我面前时，我发现雅各布的抽屉已经牢牢地锁上了。当他再次搂住我时，我已经能够唤起一开始的那种雀跃的心情，我很肯定今晚我生命中的每件事情都步上了正轨。我微笑着把头靠在他的胸口。他把我抱得更紧了。
“Don’t tell me you’ve gotten over your dancing issues?”
“别告诉我你已经克服了跳舞？”
I’d pretty much forgotten where I was when I heard Alice call, “Bella! It’s time!”
我差不多都不记得我在哪儿了，直到爱丽丝喊我，“贝拉！到时候了！”
“Never,” he promised, and he leaned down to kiss me.
“再也不，”他向我保证，并低头亲吻了我。
“Dancing isn’t so bad — with you. But I was thinking more of this,” — and I pressed myself to him even tighter — “of never having to let you go.”
“跳舞并不可怕——和你一起跳的时候。但是我还在想，”——说着我把自己向他贴得更近了——“还在想再也不让你离开我了。”
It was a serious kind of kiss — intense, slow but building…
这是一个深沉的吻——激烈，缓慢并且绵长……
Edward ignored her; his lips were hard against mine, more urgent than before. My heart broke into a sprint and my palms were slick against his marble neck.
爱德华无视她；他坚硬的嘴唇比之前动地更激烈，我的心脏剧烈地跳动着好像刚完成了个冲刺跑，我的手掌滑过他大理石般的胸膛。
I felt a brief flicker of irritation with my new sister for the interruption.
我的小姨如此不知趣地打断让我有些不爽。
I wasn’t really paying much attention. At the moment, I simply didn’t care.
我并没有怎么注意到这点，而且眼下，我根本不在乎。
Edward turned his face slightly to murmur, “Go away, Alice,” and then pressed his lips to mine again.
爱德华微微侧过头，嘟囔说，“走开点，爱丽丝，”说完又继续我们的吻。
I tugged against her hold, stretching up on my toes to kiss him one more time. She jerked my arm impatiently, hauling me away from him. There were a few chuckles from the watching guests. I gave up then and let her lead me into the empty house.
我吃力地顶住拖拽，点起脚尖再次亲吻了下他。她不耐烦地拖着我，终于把我从他身边拉开。周围的看客中传来了几声轻笑。我只好放弃，任凭她把我领进空无一人的屋子。
“Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?” she demanded.
“贝拉，你是不是想在飞机上也穿着这身衣服？”爱德华悻悻地问我。
“Do you want to miss your plane?” Alice demanded, right next to me now. “I’m sure you’ll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight.”
“你们想要误了飞机吗？”爱丽丝气鼓鼓地说，她现在就站在了我旁边。“我敢肯定如果你们要等下一班飞机的话，就可以在机场支一个帐篷过你们难忘的蜜月了。”
He froze. Then he lifted his face from mine and glared at his favorite sister. “You’re awfully small to be so hugely irritating.”
他僵住了。接着他抬起脸，望着他最爱的妹妹。“你那么娇小一个人，生那么大气干嘛呢。”
She looked annoyed.
她看上去很生气。
Alice growled quietly. “I’ll tell her where you’re taking her, Edward. So help me, I will.”
爱丽丝大喊说。“我会告诉她你要把她带到哪里去，爱德华。帮我个忙，不然我就说了。”
“I didn’t pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted,” she snapped back, taking my hand. “Come with me, Bella.”
“我才不会让精心挑选的外出服浪费呢，”她顶撞回去，一把抓住我的手。“跟我来，贝拉。”
I giggled at her martyred expression, and she scowled.
我看着她那副殉道者的表情笑了出来，引来了她一脸的不高兴。
“Sorry, Alice,” I apologized.
“对不起，爱丽丝，”我道歉说。
“I don’t blame you, Bella.” She sighed. “You don’t seem to be able help yourself.”
“我没有责怪你，贝拉。”她叹了口气。“你只是没在帮你自己。”
That thawed her out; she smiled a huge smile. “I’m glad you liked it.”
这句话说到她心坎里了，她给出了个大大的微笑。“我很高兴你很喜欢。”
“Thank you, Alice. It was the most beautiful wedding anyone ever had,” I told her earnestly. “Everything was exactly right. You’re the best, smartest, most talented sister in the whole world.”
“谢谢，爱丽丝。这是一个人所有拥有的最美好的婚礼了，”我急切地告诉她。“每一件事都那么恰到好处。你是全世界最好，最聪明，最具天赋的小姨子了。”
“I’ll call you when I know where I’m going,” I promised as I hugged her goodbye. I knew the honeymoon secret was probably driving her crazy; my mother hated secrets, unless she was in on them.
“我一知道我要去哪里就会打电话给你的，”跟她拥抱作别的时候我保证到。我知道整个蜜月的秘密几乎折磨地她发疯，我母亲憎恨秘密，除非她自己能参与其中。
Renee and Esme were waiting upstairs. The three of them quickly had me out of my dress and into Alice’s deep blue going-away ensemble. I was grateful when someone pulled the pins out of my hair and let it fall loose down my back, wavy from the braids, saving me from a hairpin headache later. My mother’s tears streamed without a break the entire time.
勒妮和埃斯米已经在楼上等着了。他们三个迅速帮我换掉身上的礼服，套上了爱丽丝给我准备的深蓝色外出套装。我很感激有人帮我拿掉了头上的发夹，松开了辫子，让头发披在后背，让我免去了之后因为发夹而引发的头痛。整个过程中，我母亲泪水涟涟，从未断过。
“I’ll tell you as soon as she’s safely away,” Alice outdid me, smirking at my wounded expression. How unfair, for me to be the last to know.
“只要她一离开这里我就告诉你。”爱丽丝成功地反击了我，得意地对着我那受伤的表情笑得很灿烂。多么不公平啊，我竟然是最后一个知道的人。
“I love you, Mom,” I whispered as we descended. “I’m so glad you have Phil. Take care of each other.”
“我爱你，妈妈。”我边下楼边压低着嗓子说。“我很高兴你能有菲尔在身边。照顾好你们两个。”
I hugged him around the waist, tears streaming again — I was crying so much tonight. He patted my back.
我搂着他的腰，泪水再次决堤——今晚我哭得太多了。他拍拍我的背。
“Dad?” I asked, my eyes searching.
“爸爸呢？”我问道，眼睛还在不停搜寻。
“Oh, Dad!”
“噢，爸爸！”
Edward was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I took his outstretched hand but leaned away, scanning the little crowd that was waiting to see us off.
爱德华已经等在了楼梯下。我牵住他伸出的手，稍稍保持了一点距离。我环顾四周，仍有一小部分人等在那里和我们告别。
“Goodbye, Mom. I love you,” I said again, my throat thick.
“再见，妈妈。我爱你，”我又说了一遍，这次伴着浓重的喉音。
“Over here,” Edward murmured. He pulled me through the guests; they made a pathway for us. We found Charlie leaning awkwardly against the wall behind everyone else, looking a little like he was hiding. The red rims around his eyes explained why.
“在那里，”爱德华轻轻地说。他推着我朝宾客里去，他们自动为我们让开了一条道路。在所有人的后面，查理正靠在墙上，显得手足无措，看起来他想把自己给藏起来。红红的眼眶解释了一切。
“A miracle.”
“真是奇迹啊。”
“Everything’s ready,” Alice said. “Your suitcases are in the car — Jasper’s bringing it around.” She pulled me back toward the stairs with Renee following, still halfway embracing me.
“万事俱备了，”爱丽丝说。“你的箱子已经放在车里了，是贾斯帕帮忙提的。”她推着我的背到了楼梯口，勒妮还跟在后面，跟我依依不舍地半拥抱着。
“I love you, too, Bella, honey.”
“我也爱你，贝拉，宝贝。”
“It didn’t rain today,” I reminded her, avoiding her request.
“今天就没下雨啊，”我提醒她，顺便回避了她的这个要求。
“You have to visit me and Phil very, very soon. It’s your turn to go south — see the sun for once,” Renee said.
“你要尽快来看我和菲尔。这次该轮到你们到南方来了，起码晒晒太阳。”勒妮说。
“I am,” I said, and I knew that it was true.
“是的，”我知道这次是真的准备好了。
“Soon,” I promised, knowing this was all I could promise. Just a phone call. My father and my mother could not be allowed to see me again; I would be too different, and much, much too dangerous.
“很快，”我答应了他，也知道这是我唯一能够答应的事情。只是一个电话。我的父母可能不会再被允许见我；我会变得大为不同，变得十分、十分危险。
I kissed his cheek at the same time that he kissed mine.
我吻了他的脸颊，几乎同时，他也回吻了我的。
“You, too, Bells. Always have, always will.”
“你也是，贝拉。从前是，将来也是。”
“Call me,” he said.
“打电话给我，”他说。
“Go on, then,” he said gruffly. “Don’t want to be late.”
“那就走吧，”他粗声粗气地说。“别晚了。”
It was hard to talk about love with Charlie — we were so much alike, always reverting to trivial things to avoid embarrassing emotional displays. But this was no time for being self-conscious.
很难开口对查理说爱，我们太相像了，为了避免真情流露所带来的尴尬，总喜欢顾左右而言它。不过现在不是害羞的时刻。
The guests made another aisle for us. Edward pulled me close to his side as we made our escape.
来宾们又为我们让开了一条道。在我们通过时，爱德华紧紧地将我搂在身旁。
Everyone applauded when Edward kissed me on the doorstep. Then he rushed me to the car as the rice storm began. Most of it went wide, but someone, probably Emmett, threw with uncanny precision, and I caught a lot of the ricochets off Edward’s back.
最后爱德华在门阶上亲吻了我，观众爆发出一片掌声。接着在一片撒米的风暴中，他带我冲到车边。虽然大部分都偏离了目标，但是有人，这个人极有可能是埃美特，撒出的米不可思议的精准，我也被不少击中爱德华背部弹起的米所命中。
“I love you forever, Dad,” I told him. “Don’t forget that.”
“我永远爱你，爸爸，”我告诉他。“别忘了这一点。”
“There, now. You don’t want to miss your plane.”
“去吧，现在。你也不想误了飞机吧。”
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“你准备好了吗？”他问我。
Edward shielded me from the rice while I climbed in, and then he was in and we were speeding away as I waved out the window and called “I love you” to the porch, where my families waved back.
爱德华掩护我上了车后，他也钻了进来。我还在不停向车窗外家人挥手的方向喊着“我爱你”，车子发动起来，绝尘而去。
The car was decorated with more flowers that trailed in streamers along its length, and long gossamer ribbons that were tied to a dozen shoes — designer shoes that looked brand-new — dangling behind the bumper.
装饰车子的鲜花，延车身纵向形成了一条花带，长长的薄纱缎带系了一打特别设计的马蹄铁——每一个都是崭新的——拖在保险杠后。
He kissed my hair.
他亲吻了我的发梢。
The last image I registered was one of my parents. Phil had both arms wrapped tenderly around Renee. She had one arm tight around his waist but had her free hand reached out to hold Charlie’s. So many different kinds of love, harmonious in this one moment. It seemed a very hopeful picture to me.
在我最后的记忆画面中，菲尔双臂温柔地绕过勒妮，后者一只手紧紧地反抱住菲尔的腰，另一只手腾出来握住查理的手。有那么多种不同类型的爱，这一刻都非常和谐。为我描绘出了一幅希望的画面。
As we turned onto the black highway and Edward really hit the accelerator, I heard a noise over the purr of the engine, coming from the forest behind us. If I could hear it, then he certainly could. But he said nothing as the sound slowly faded in the distance. I said nothing, either.
待我们驶上了漆黑的高速公路，爱德华猛地一脚油门，我听见从我们身后的树林中发出了一阵喧闹，盖过了引擎的轰鸣声。如果我能听到的话，那么他也一定能。但是随着声音因为距离而渐渐飘散的过程中，他什么都没说。我也保持着沉默。
The piercing, heartbroken howling grew fainter and then disappeared entirely.
彻骨的，心碎的嗥叫渐渐微弱下去，直至消失殆尽。
Edward squeezed my hand. “I love you,” he said.
爱德华攥紧了我的手。“我爱你，”他说。
I leaned my head against his arm. “That’s why we’re here,” I quoted him.
我把头靠上他的手臂。“这就是我们为什么在这里的原因。”我引用了他的话。
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