第八章: 等待这该死的搏斗 Waiting For The Damn Fight To Start Already
“Jeez, Paul, don’t you freaking have a home of your own?”
“哎呀，保罗，你们就不能有个自己的家吗？”
Paul, lounging across my whole couch, watching some stupid baseball game on my crappy TV, just grinned at me and then — real slow — he lifted one Dorito from the bag in his lap and wedged it into his mouth in one piece.
保罗，正躺在我的沙发上，对着我那糟糕的电视机看一些愚蠢的棒球比赛，然后对我露齿而笑——缓缓的——他从膝上的一个包里拿出一个多力多滋（百事的一款食品）然后把一部分放入嘴里。
“You better’ve brought those with you.”
“你最好把那些东西带来。”
Crunch. “Nope,” he said while chewing. “Your sister said to go ahead and help myself to anything I wanted.”
他嘎吱作响地咀嚼着。“不。”他嚼着口香糖说。“你姐妹说让我想干嘛就干嘛。”
I tried to make my voice sound like I wasn’t about to punch him. “Is Rachel here now?”
我试图让我的声音不像是在打击他。“雷切尔在这吗？”
“Bring it, kid. I don’t need Rachel to protect me.”
“来吧，孩子，我不需要雷切尔保护。”
It didn’t work. He heard where I was going and shoved the bag behind his back. The bag crackled as he smashed it into the cushion. The chips crunched into pieces. Paul’s hands came up in fists, close to his face like a boxer.
那并没奏效。他听到我的话，然后胡乱地把包装袋甩在背后。当他把包装袋塞进坐垫里时，包装袋发出了一些细碎的碎裂声。一些碎片嘎吱作响。保罗的手抱成拳头，他的脸看起来像一个拳击手。
He laughed and relaxed into the sofa, dropping his hands. “I’m not going to go tattle to a girl. If you got in a lucky hit, that would be just between the two of us. And vice versa, right?”
他笑着坐进沙发里，把手放下来。“我不会对一个女孩子说闲话，如果你歪打正着，这就只是我们之间的事，反之亦然，不是吗？”
I snorted. “Right. Like you wouldn’t go crying to her first chance.”
我深吸了一口气。“是的。就像你不会第一次向她哭一样。”
His nose made a very satisfying crunching sound of its own when my fist connected. He tried to grab me, but I danced out of the way before he could find a hold, the ruined bag of Doritos in my left hand.
当我的拳头碰到他的鼻子时，很满意的发出嘎嘎声。他试着抓住我，但在他抓着之前我就跳开了，我的手上是一包已经遭到毁坏的多力多滋。
I went to put the chips away. When I turned around, Paul was repositioning his nose before it could set crooked.
我把零食碎片拿开。当我转过身，保罗在弯腰坐下之前先确保了他的鼻子安然无恙。
His eyes shifted to the TV.
他的目光重新移到电视上。
I lunged.
我扑过去。
“Of course. I’m sure it won’t slip out.”
“当然。我敢肯定它不会说出去的。”
“Ouch. Wow, I bet Leah’s really going to love to hear that you want to spend some quality time with her. It’ll just warm the cockles of her heart.”
“哎呦。哇，我敢打赌莉娅会很高兴听见你想花一些时间安静地和她在一起。拿回温暖她起伏的心。“
Nice of him to give me an invitation. I made my body slump like I’d given up. “Right.”
他能邀请我真是太好了。我的身体崩溃了，就像我放弃了一样。“是的。”
The blood had already stopped; it looked like it had no source as it trickled down his lips and off his chin. He cussed, wincing as he pulled at the cartilage.
血已经止住了。它滴滴答答顺着嘴唇流过下巴的时候就好像它是没有源头一样。他咒骂着畏缩地去试着推推鼻子。
“You are such a pain, Jacob. I swear, I’d rather hang out with Leah.”
“你是那么痛苦，雅各布，我发誓我宁可和莉娅去闲逛。”
“Just between us, right, Paul?”
“那是我们之间的事，对吗，保罗？”
“You’re going to forget I said that.”
“你要忘记我说的了。”
“You broke my nose, idiot.”
“你弄坏了我的鼻子，白痴。”
“Ugh,” he grunted, and then settled back into the couch, wiping the leftover blood on the collar of his t-shirt. “You’re fast, kid. I’ll give you that.”
“哎，”他嘀咕了一声，然后再次陷阱沙发里，擦去他T恤衫领口上残留的血迹。“你抓稳了，宝贝，我会还你的。”
Wasn’t it bad enough that yet another member of the pack had imprinted — because, really, that made four of ten now! When would it stop? Stupid myth was supposed to be rare, for crying out loud! All this mandatory love-at-first-sight was completely sickening!
另一个成员被烙上烙印还不够糟——因为，真的，现在只是十个当中的四个。它什么时候才能停？那些愚蠢的神话被人认为是罕见的，他们哭喊着救命！这些强制性的爱完全是让人作呕的！
I stood there for a second, and then I stalked off to my room, muttering about alien abductions.
我又在那站了一会，然后阔步走进我的房间，抱怨一些国外的绑架事件。
Back in the day, you could count on Paul for a fight pretty much whenever. You didn’t have to hit him then — any mild insult would do. It didn’t take a lot to flip him out of control. Now, of course, when I really wanted a good snarling, ripping, break-the-trees — down match, he had to be all mellow.
话说回来，你可以随时指望和保罗干上一场。然后你不必伤到他——稍微侮辱一下就行了。让他失去控制不需要花很多时间的。现在，当然，我真的想大声的咆哮，撕裂，打破那场树下的比赛，他是那么沉醉。
He turned his attention back to the fuzzy game.
他把注意力转向了模糊的游戏（棒球比赛）。
Did it have to be my sister? Did it have to be Paul?
它一定要是我的姐妹？那一定要是保罗？
When Rachel’d come home from Washington State at the end of the summer semester — graduated early, the nerd — my biggest worry’d been that it would be hard keeping the secret around her. I wasn’t used to covering things up in my own home. It made me real sympathetic to kids like Embry and Collin, whose parents didn’t know they were werewolves. Embry’s mom thought he was going through some kind of rebellious stage. He was permanently grounded for constantly sneaking out, but, of course, there wasn’t much he could do about that. She’d check his room every night, and every night it would be empty again. She’d yell and he’d take it in silence, and then go through it all again the next day. We’d tried to talk Sam into giving Embry a break and letting his mom in on the gig, but Embry’d said he didn’t mind. The secret was too important.
当雷切尔暑假从华盛顿州回来——提前毕业，这个笨蛋——我最担心的就是那个围绕在她身边的拥有我大量秘密的人。我通常不会在我家用什么东西遮掩着，这样我真的就很同情那些亲爱的人了，像恩布里或是科林那样的，他们的父母不知道他们是狼人。恩布里的妈妈认为他还是在经历叛逆期的那个阶段。他已经被长期禁止在晚上偷偷出去，但是，当然，对于这一点他没有做到。她每天晚上检查他的房间，然后每天晚上都在他房里扑个空。在她叫喊着时他就保持沉默。然后在第二天又是这样。我们试着和山姆说给恩布里一个例外，然后好觉他的妈妈放松点，但恩布里表示并不介意。这个秘密太重要了。
I wondered — would a bullet through my temple actually kill me or just leave a really big mess for me to clean up?
我想知道——一个子弹穿过我的太阳穴实际上会杀了我还是只是留下一个慌乱来让我处理？
Rachel got the whole story. And I got Paul as a brother-in-law someday. I knew Billy wasn’t much thrilled about it, either. But he handled it better than I did. ‘Course, he did escape to the Clearwaters’ more often than usual these days. I didn’t see where that was so much better. No Paul, but plenty of Leah.
雷切尔得到了整个故事。在某天保罗成了我的姐夫。我知道对于那个贝利同样没有太多激动不已。但他比我处理得好。当然他这些天逃脱去了清澈的水域。我没见过那里会比这更好。没有保罗，但还有莉娅。
So I’d been all geared up to be keeping that secret. And then, two days after Rachel got home, Paul ran into her on the beach. Bada bing, bada boom — true love! No secrets necessary when you found your other half, and all that imprinting werewolf garbage.
所以我一直做好充分准备去保守这个秘密。紧接着，在雷切尔回来两天后，保罗在海滩上跑向她，吧嗒吧嗒的隆隆声——太可爱了。当你找到你的另一半是没有秘密会被发现，或是所有关于狼人的烙印。
I threw myself down on the bed. I was tired — hadn’t slept since my last patrol — but I knew I wasn’t going to sleep. My head was too crazy. The thoughts bounced around inside my skull like a disoriented swarm of bees. Noisy. Now and then they stung. Must be hornets, not bees. Bees died after one sting. And the same thoughts were stinging me again and again.
我瘫在床上。我累了——自从上次侦查开始我就没再睡过了。我的脑子太疯狂了。那些想法在我脑子里乱窜使我迷失了方向。真吵，然后还一直刺着我。那一定是个黄蜂堆，而不是一只小蜜蜂。蜜蜂在蛰过人之后是会死的。同样的想法一次又一次刺痛着我。
Charlie sobbing on the phone — Bella and her husband lost in an accident. A plane crash? That would be hard to fake. Unless the leeches didn’t mind killing a bunch of bystanders to authenticate it, and why would they? Maybe a small plane instead. They probably had one of those to spare.
查理在电话里哭泣——贝拉和他的丈夫在事故中失去联系。飞机失事？这是很难伪造的。除非那个吸血鬼并不介意牺牲一群旁观者来验证它，但他们为什么要这样？或许他们使用一个小型飞机代替。那里可能只有一个多余的人。
Or would the murderer come home alone, unsuccessful in his attempt to make her one of them? Or not even getting that far. Maybe he’d smashed her like a bag of chips in his drive to get some? Because her life was less important to him than his own pleasure…
或许凶手会独自回家，使她或他们失败？或许没有那么远。也许他在驾驶着回去时像击毁一堆碎片那样击碎她了？因为她的生命没有他的消遣重要……
This waiting was driving me insane. It had been almost four weeks. I’d expected, one way or another, the news would have come by now. I’d sat up nights imagining what form it would take.
这个等待让我疯狂，那几乎已经四个星期了。我预计，那些消息会通过这种或那种方式传来的。我在夜里坐起来想象着那回事一个怎样的方式。
Would he bring her home? Bury her here for Charlie? Closed-casket ceremony, of course. My mom’s coffin had been nailed shut…
他会带她回家吗？为查理埋葬在这？当然，封闭式的灵柩仪式。我妈妈的灵柩倒是早就钉上关闭了……
The story would be so tragic — Bella lost in a horrible accident. Victim of a mugging gone wrong. Choking to death at dinner. A car accident, like my mom. So common. Happened all the time.
这个故事如此悲惨——贝拉在异常可怕的事故中失去了。在抢劫时出了错而成为一个受害者。在晚餐时窒息。一场车祸，就像我妈妈。那么普遍。随时都有可能发生。
Maybe the big white house would burn to the ground, everyone trapped inside. Of course, they’d need bodies for that one. Eight humans of roughly the right size. Burned beyond recognition — beyond the help of dental records.
也许大白宫会被烧毁，每个人都被困在里面。当然，他们需要一具尸体。八个大致大小合适的人。被烧得面目全非——超出牙科记录的帮助。
Maybe there would be no story at all. Maybe Charlie would call to ask my dad if he’d heard anything from Dr. Cullen, who just didn’t show up to work one day. The house abandoned. No answer on any of the Cullens’ phones. The mystery picked up by some second-rate news program, foul play suspected…
也许再不会有故事了。如果查理从库伦博士那得到什么消息的话他会告诉我爸爸的，那只是停止一天工作而已。被遗弃的房子。库伦在电话里没有任何回答。一些二流新闻神秘地报道，犯罪嫌疑……
Right now, I wouldn’t mind dismantling a haystack. At least that would be something to do. I hated knowing that I could be losing my chance. Giving the bloodsuckers the time to escape, if that was their plan.
现在，我不会介意大海捞针，这至少也是一件能做的事。我讨厌知道我可能失去我的机会。如果那是他们的计划，那将给吸血鬼机会去逃跑。
I could only hope that he’d come back here, within my reach.
我只希望他能把她送回到这里，送到我这。
Either of those would be tricky — for me, that is. It would be hard to find them if they didn’t want to be found. Of course, I had forever to look. If you had forever, you could check out every single piece of straw in the haystack, one by one, to see if it was the needle.
那么这些将是棘手的问题——对我而言。那将很难找到他们，如果他们不想被发现。我永远无法期待。如果你又永远，你可以大海捞针地在世界每一个角落搜寻，一个一个的，看看那是否真的是根针。
I liked that plan because I knew Edward well enough to know that, if I killed any one of his coven, I would get my chance at him, too.
我喜欢这个计划因为我知道爱德华足以知道那个，如果我杀了他身边任何一个人，说不定我还能侥幸遇到他。
He’d come for revenge. And I’d give it to him — I wouldn’t let my brothers take him down as a pack. It would be just him and me. May the better man win.
他是来报仇的。我会把它交给他——我不会让我的兄弟把他当作一个成员。只有他和我。愿好人赢。
We could go tonight. We could kill every one of them that we could find.
我们今晚就可以走。我们可以杀死任何一个只要我们能找到的。
But Sam wouldn’t hear of it. We’re not going to break the treaty. Let them make the breach. Just because we had no proof that the Cullens had done anything wrong. Yet. You had to add the yet, because we all knew it was inevitable. Bella was either coming back one of them, or not coming back. Either way, a human life had been lost. And that meant game on.
但是山姆不会听说那个的。我们不能打破条约，让他们违背。那只是因为我们没有证据库伦一家做错了事。然而，马上就回了，因为我们都知道这是不可避免的。贝拉的归来也是其中之一，也或去不会回来。无论那种可能，一个人的生命已经失去。这意味着游戏开始了。
I thought about breaking his nose again. But it wasn’t Paul I wanted to fight with. Not really.
我很想再次打破他的鼻子。但我并不是为了打击保罗，并非如此。
In the other room, Paul brayed like a mule. Maybe he’d switched to a comedy. Maybe the commercial was funny. Whatever. It grated on my nerves.
在另一间房子里，保罗粗声粗气地像个骡子，也他还会再转变成喜剧成分。也许是电视节目很有趣。无论什么，都刺激着我的神经。
I tried to listen to other sounds, the wind in the trees. It wasn’t the same, not through human ears. There were a million voices in the wind that I couldn’t hear in this body.
我试着去听其它声音，风刮着树。这是不同的，这不是通过人的耳朵。有一百万种声音在风里但是我人的身体却没法听见。
But these ears were sensitive enough. I could hear past the trees, to the road, the sounds of the cars coming around that last bend where you could finally see the beach — the vista of the islands and the rocks and the big blue ocean stretching to the horizon. The La Push cops liked to hang out right around there. Tourists never noticed the reduced speed limit sign on the other side of the road.
那时候耳朵敏感不够。我能听见风吹过树木，吹过马路的声音，以及车的声音在你最后见到的那个蜿蜒的海滩上——岸边狭长的景色，岩石，蔚蓝色海洋延伸到地平线尽头。拉普西群岛接连环绕在那。游客从不在那些路边注意减缓速度的标志。
I could hear the voices outside the souvenir shop on the beach. I could hear the cowbell clanging as the door opened and closed. I could hear Embry’s mom at the cash register, printing out a receipt.
我刚刚听见海滩上纪念品店关门的声音。我能听见开门关门时母牛的颈铃叮当的响声。我能听见爱德华的妈妈注册登记，打印出收据的声音。
I could hear the tide raking across the beach rocks. I could hear the kids squeal as the icy water rushed in too fast for them to get out of the way. I could hear the moms complain about the wet clothes. And I could hear a familiar voice…
我能听见潮汐冲刷着海礁的声音。我能听见孩子们因冰冷的水冲刷的太快而引起的尖叫。我能听见母亲们抱怨那些湿了的衣服。我能听见一个熟悉的声音……
“Get out of my house,” I grumbled. Knowing he wouldn’t pay any attention, I followed my own advice. I wrenched open my window and climbed out the back way so that I wouldn’t see Paul again. It would be too tempting. I knew I would hit him again, and Rachel was going to be pissed enough already. She’d see the blood on his shirt, and she’d blame me right away without waiting for proof. Of course, she’d be right, but still.
“滚出我的房子。”我抱怨道。我知道他不会投入任何的注意力，我也坚持我自己的想法。我打开窗户跳出去这样我就可以不用再见到保罗了。那太有诱惑力了，我知道我会再扁他一次，雷切尔今天发怒的次数已经够多了。她将会看见他T恤衫上的血迹的，然后她不需检验就会指责我。当然，她仍然是对的。
I was listening so hard that the sudden burst of Paul’s donkey laugh made me jump half off the bed.
我努力的听保罗骡子一样意外的破裂声然后半跳下床。
I paced down to the shore, my fists in my pockets. Nobody looked at me twice when I went through the dirt lot by First Beach. That was one nice thing about summer — no one cared if you wore nothing but shorts.
我一步跨到海滨上。我的拳头放在口袋里。没有人第二次看见我通往那个填满泥土的第一海滩。那是那个夏天不错的经历——没有人去管你除了短裤之外什么都不穿。
I followed the familiar voice I’d heard and found Quil easy enough. He was on the south end of the crescent, avoiding the bigger part of the tourist crowd. He kept up a constant stream of warnings.
我跟着我所听见的那个熟悉的声音，然后很容易地发现了奎尔。他在新月的最南边，避免了大量的旅游人群。他保持了一贯的警戒。
“Keep out of the water, Claire. C’mon. No, don’t. Oh! Nice, kid. Seriously, do you want Emily to yell at me? I’m not bringing you back to the beach again if you don’t — Oh yeah? Don’t — ugh. You think that’s funny, do you? Hah! Who’s laughing now, huh?”
“出来水面吧，克莱尔。来吧。不，不要，哦，好孩子，认真一点，你想要艾米丽吼叫我吗？我不会再带你来这个海滩如果你不——噢？别阿——呃。你认为那很有趣，是吗？哈！现在是谁在笑，啊？”
He had the giggling toddler by the ankle when I reached them. She had a bucket in one hand, and her jeans were drenched. He had a huge wet mark down the front of his t-shirt.
当我到达时他的嬉笑声回荡在脚踝那。她一只手拎着一个水桶，她的牛仔裤脚全湿透了。他则是有一大块湿了的污迹在他的T恤衫下。
“Hey, Jake.”
“嘿，杰克。”
Claire squealed and threw her bucket at Quil’s knees. “Down, down!”
克莱尔尖叫着把她的水桶丢在奎尔膝上。“下来，下来！”
“Five bucks on the baby girl,” I said.
“那女孩身上是五只雄鹿！”我说。
He set her carefully on her feet and she ran to me. She wrapped her arms around my leg. “Unca Jay!”
他小心地把她放下来然后她跑向我。她用她的双臂紧抱着我的腿。 “杰叔叔！”
“I can see that. Where’s your mama?”
“我看到了。你妈妈呢？”
“Threes actually,” Quil corrected. “You missed the party. Princess theme. She made me wear a crown, and then Emily suggested they all try out her new play makeup on me.”
“三声，实际上。”奎尔纠正道。“你错过了这个舞会。关于公爵的主题。她让我带上一个皇冠，然后艾米丽建议他们试着让我实施她的新计划。”
“Gone, gone, gone,” Claire sang, “Cwaire pway wid Qwil aaaawl day. Cwaire nebber gowin home.”
“走了，走了，走了，”克莱尔欢唱道。“克莱尔弄得全湿了，克莱尔的妈妈从化妆舞会回来。”（这小女孩话还说不清楚）
I rolled my eyes. It was hard being around imprinted people. No matter what stage they were in — about to tie the knot like Sam or just a much-abused nanny like Quil — the peace and certainty they always radiated was downright puke-inducing.
我翻了下眼皮。这其实很容易就会被忘的。无论他们在什么阶段范围——像山姆一样的一个瘤或是如奎尔像个怒骂的母山羊——他们总是流露出的和睦以及必然性都是彻头彻尾的呕吐性的诱导。
She giggled. “Qwil aaaaawl wet now.”
她咯咯地笑着。“奎尔现在全湿了。”
Quil shrugged. “Claire had a great time. That was the point.”
奎尔耸耸肩。“克莱尔很开心，这是重点。”
“Wow, I’m really sorry I wasn’t around to see that.”
“哇，我真抱歉我错过了那个。”
“Don’t worry, Emily has pictures. Actually, I look pretty hot.”
“别担心。艾米丽弄了些照片，我看上去太像女人气的了。”
“How’s it going, Claire?”
“最近怎么样，克莱尔？”
“Sounds like somebody’s hit the terrible twos.”
“听起来像有人击打两声可怕的节拍。”
She let go of me and ran to Quil. He scooped her up and slung her onto his shoulders.
她放开我的腿，然后跑向奎尔。他把她举起来让她坐在他的肩膀上。
“You’re such a patsy.”
“你本来就是。”
Claire squealed on his shoulders and pointed at the ground. “Pity wock, Quil! For me, for me!”
克莱尔在他的肩膀上尖叫着，并指这地面。“真可惜，奎尔！给我，给我！”
And I couldn’t even make fun of him for it — I envied him too much.
我甚至不能取笑他——我太羡慕他了。
I’d seen Quil play peekaboo for an hour straight without getting bored.
我看到奎尔不厌烦的玩了一个小时直躲猫猫。
“Quil, you ever think about dating?” I asked.
“奎尔，你想约会吗？”我问。
“No wed!”
“又不是在结婚！”
“No, no yewwo!” Claire crowed.
“不，不会！”克莱尔得意的说。
The weird part was, Quil was having just as much fun as she was. He didn’t have that face on that so many of the tourist dads and moms were wearing — the when is nap — time? face.
奇怪的是，奎尔和她一样高兴。他并没有像很多游客爸妈的那副脸——打盹时的脸面？
You never saw a real parent so jazzed to play whatever stupid kiddie sport their rugrat could think up.
你从来没见过一个真正的父母急切地想去玩小孩想出的愚蠢游戏。
“Which one, kiddo? The red one?”
“哪一个，老兄？红色的？”
“This blue one?”
“那么蓝的那个？”
Though I did think it sucked that he had a good fourteen years of monkitude ahead of him until Claire was his age — for Quil, at least, it was a good thing werewolves didn’t get older. But even all that time didn’t seem to bother him much.
虽然我真的觉得它很烂。，他有一个好的十四年的monkitude直到克莱尔跟他一样的年龄——对于奎尔，至少，这是一件好事，狼人不会变老。所有的时间似乎并没有打扰他很多。
“You know. A real girl. I mean, just for now, right? On your nights off babysitting duty.” Quil stared at me, his mouth hanging open.
“你知道的。一个真正的女孩。我是说，就目前而言，对吧？晚上得照顾孩子的。”奎尔看着我，他的嘴巴悬着张开。
Quil dropped to his knees — Claire screamed and pulled his hair like a horse’s reigns.
奎尔跪了下来，克莱尔尖叫起来，拉他的头发像在拉匹马。
“Huh?”
“哈？”
“No, no, no…,” the little girl sang, thrilled with her new game.
“不，不，不……”小女孩叫道，对她的新游戏感到兴奋。（拉他的头发像在拉匹马）
“Pity wock! Pity wock!” Claire screamed when he didn’t offer her another choice. She smacked him on the head with her little fist.
“真可惜！真可惜！”当克莱尔尖叫起来，当他没有给她另一个选择时，她的小拳头打了他的头。
Claire thought it over.
克莱尔想了想。
“No,” she giggled. “No poopoh.”
“不好，”她咯咯地笑。“不好。”
“Yay!”
“对了！”
“Naw, that’s cool,” Quil said. “It kind of took me by surprise is all. I hadn’t thought about it.”
“不，这很酷，”奎尔说。”这让我吃惊的是。我没有考虑过。”
“I bet she’d understand. You know, when she’s grown up. She wouldn’t get mad that you had a life while she was in diapers.”
“我打赌她会理解的。你知道的，当她长大了。她不会生气的，你过着生活，而她还在用尿布呢。”
“Sorry, Claire-bear. How about this pretty purple one?”
“对不起，克莱尔熊。这件漂亮的紫色的怎么样？
Quil stared at the rocks, studying them. He picked four rocks in different shades of green, and offered them to her.
奎尔看着岩石，研究他们。他挑选了四块不同颜色的岩石，并把它们交给了她。
“Green,” she finally said.
“绿色，”她最后说。
“Aaaaawl ob dem!!”
“Aaaaawl ob dem！”（不懂这小P孩说的什么鬼啊哈）
“Which one?”
“哪一个？”
“Give me a clue. I’m begging, kid.”
“给我一个线索。我求求你了，孩子。
She cupped her hands and he poured the small rocks into them. She laughed and immediately clunked him on the head with them. He winced theatrically and then got to his feet and started walking back up toward the parking lot. Probably worried about her getting cold in her wet clothes. He was worse than any paranoid, overprotective mother.
她捧起两只手掌，然后他把小石子放到她的手掌中。她笑着把头与他们相碰。他夸张地皱皱眉，然后站起身来，开始走上向停车场。可能担心她的湿冷的衣服冻着她。他比任何偏执狂都更糟糕的是，一个溺爱孩子的母亲。
“Did I get it?”
“我对了吗？”
“Sorry if I was being pushy before, man, about the girl thing,” I said.
“对不起，如果我以前咄咄逼人，对于男人，还有女儿的事情，”我说。
He didn’t say it like a joke. His voice was sympathetic. That made it worse. “I don’t see them, either, Quil. I don’t see their faces.”
他没有当笑话说。他的声音很有同情心。这使得情况更糟。“我不懂她们，而且，奎尔。我看不清她们的面目。”
“Put that together with the tiara and makeup, and maybe Claire will have a different kind of competition to worry about.”
“带着头饰和化妆，也许克莱尔会有一种不同的竞争要担忧。”
“Dang, that’s Sam,” Quil said. His hands flew up to touch Claire, as if making sure she was still there. “I don’t know where her mom’s at!”
“该死的，是山姆，”奎尔说。他的手飞起来摸克莱尔，好像在确定她还在那。“我不知道她妈妈在哪儿！”
Quil laughed and made kissing noises at me. “You available this Friday, Jacob?”
奎尔笑了并向我发出亲吻的声音。“这个星期五你有空吗，雅各布？”
“But you won’t do that, will you?” I guessed.
“但你不会那样做的，是吗？”我猜。
He hesitated a second and then said, “You ever think about dating?”
他犹豫了一下，然后说：“你有没有想过约会？”
Far away, too low for anyone but just us two to hear it over the waves, a howl rose out of the forest.
远处，传来非常小的声音，但只有我们两个通过声波听到，一声嚎叫从森林中升起。
“I can’t see it,” he said in a low voice. “I can’t imagine. I just don’t… see anyone that way. I don’t notice girls anymore, you know. I don’t see their faces.”
“我不知道，”他低声说。我无法想象。我只是不……那样看着任何人。我不再注意女孩了，你知道的。我看不清她们的面目。”
“You know, Jake, maybe you should think about getting a life.”
“你知道的，杰克，也许你应该为自己的生活打算了。”
“You wish,” I said, and then I made a face. “Yeah, guess I am, though.”
“你希望的话，”我说，然后我做了个鬼脸。“有，不过我想是有的。”
I sighed. Guess I’d opened myself up for that one.
我叹了口气。我想我已经为那个人敞开怀抱了。
“No, I know. I’m sure she’d understand that.” He didn’t say anything else.
“不，我知道。我相信她会理解的。“他什么也没再说了。
Quil sighed, too.
奎尔也叹了口气。
“Okay — get outta here, Jake!”
“好吧，离开这里，杰克！”
I took off running, not for the dirt path through the weedy hedge, but in the shortest line toward the forest. I hurdled the first line of driftwood and then ripped my way through the briars, still running. I felt the little tears as the thorns cut into my skin, but I ignored them. Their sting would be healed before I made the trees.
我逃跑了，不是为了穿过杂草树篱的泥泞小路，而是向森林走最短的一条线。我跨过第一排浮木，然后把我穿过荆棘，继续奔跑。当荆棘刺进我的皮肤时，我感觉到了小小的泪水，但我忽略了它们。在我穿过这些树之前，伤口会愈合的。
I cut behind the store and darted across the highway. Somebody honked at me.
我在仓库后面飞奔，飞奔过公路。有人一直在看着我。
People would stare if I was out in the open.
如果我在空地里，他们会盯着我看。
Once in the safety of the trees, I ran faster, taking longer strides.
在安全的树林里，我跑得更快，采取更大的步伐。
Normal people couldn’t run like this.
正常人不能像这样的跑。
“I’ll see what it is. If we need you, I’ll let you know.” I raced through the words. They came out all slurred together. “Hey, why don’t you take her up to the Clearwaters’? Sue and Billy can keep an eye on her if they need to. They might know what’s going on, anyway.”
“我看看是什么情况。如果我们需要你，我会告诉你的。”我口齿不清的说。“嘿，你为什么不带她去奎鲁特家呢？苏和比利如果需要的话，可以照顾她。反正他们可能知道发生了什么事。”
Sometimes I thought it might be fun to enter a race — you know, like the Olympic trials or something.
有时我认为参加比赛可能很有趣，你知道，就像奥运会选拔赛之类的。
It would be cool to watch the expressions on those star athletes’ faces when I blew by them.
看着那些明星运动员的脸上的表情，我会觉得很酷。
With quick, practiced moves, I rolled them up and tied them to the leather cord around my ankle.
我用快速、熟练的动作把它们卷起来，系在脚踝周围的皮绳上。
As I was still pulling the ends tight, I started shifting.
当我还在拉紧的时候，我已经开始移动。
I threw my heavy paws against the matted earth and stretched my back in one long, rolling extension.
我把我的大爪子在乱蓬蓬的泥土上和我的背纵向伸长，滚动伸展开。
The fire trembled down my spine, throwing tight spasms out along my arms and legs.
热情在我的脊背上燃烧，沿着我的胳膊和腿发出一阵痉挛。
I’d been so insane with fury that I couldn’t make my body work right.
我气得发疯，无法使自己的身体正常工作。
Phasing was very easy when I was centered like this.
当我像这样集中时，非常容易变相调整。
For one half second, I remembered the awful moment at that unspeakable joke of a wedding.
半秒钟后，我想起了那个令人难以形容的婚礼笑话。
As soon as I was in the true forest, unbound by roads or houses, I skidded to a stop and kicked my shorts off.
当我在真正的森林中，没有道路和房屋，我停下了，把我的短裤脱了。
I didn’t have issues with my temper anymore. Except when it got in the way.
我的脾气不再有问题了。除非它挡道。
I’d been trapped, shaking and burning, unable to make the change and kill the monster just a few feet away from me.
我被困在地上，颤抖着，燃烧着，无法变身，无法杀死在离我几英尺远的怪物。
It only took a second. The heat flooded through me, and I felt the silent shimmer that made me something else.
只花了一秒钟。热浪从我身上流过，我感到那无声的微光使我变成了别的东西。
Only I was pretty sure the testing they did to make sure you weren’t on steroids would probably turn up some really freaky crap in my blood.
只是我很确定他们做的测试我的尿液以确保你没有服用类固醇（兴奋剂）。
It had been so confusing. Dying to kill him. Afraid to hurt her.
如此困窘。渴望杀了他。但担心伤害了她。
I hated it when Sam laid down the law like that. I hated the feeling of having no choice. Of having to obey.
我讨厌山姆那样把法律当回事。我讨厌那种没有选择的感觉。必须服从。
If it had been just Embry and Quil there that night without Sam… would I have been able to kill the murderer, then?
如果那个晚上婚礼没有山姆只有恩布里和奎尔……那时我是否已经杀了那吸血鬼？
I moaned along with them.
我抱怨着与他们相处。
And then I was conscious of an audience. I was not alone in my thoughts.
然后我意识到听一个声音。并不是只有我一个这么想。
Good chance he didn’t hear you. There was a low grumble through the pack.
好机会他没听见你。狼群中传来了一片怨言。
Quil’s got Claire. He’s taking her to the Clearwaters’.
奎尔带着克莱尔。他带她去奎鲁特家。
Sam pretended not to notice. Where’s Quil and Jared?
山姆假装没注意到。奎尔和贾里德在哪里？
We fell silent, and I felt Leah’s wince at the word guys. Touchy, like always.
我们沉默了，我觉得利亚对这个词感到畏缩了。像往常一样多愁善感。
When Jared finally showed up, no doubt he’d still be thinking about Kim.
当贾里德终于出现时，毫无疑问，他仍然在想着基姆。
So self-absorbed all the time, Leah thought.
利亚一直在思考，所以一直在全神贯注。
The edict from the Alpha.
阿尔法敕令。
Good. Sue will take her. Jared was going to Kim’s, Embry thought.
好的。苏会带她走。贾里德要去基姆的家，恩布里思索着。
Yeah, no hypocrisy there, Leah, I thought back.
是的，没有虚伪，利亚，我回想起。
My friends in the way. And then, when I was finally able to take the form I wanted, the order from my leader.
我的朋友在路上。 然后，当我终于能够变成我想要的形态，我得到领导的命令。
Can it, guys, Sam told us.
可以吗，伙计们，山姆告诉我们。
Well, we’re not waiting all day for him. He’ll just have to catch up later. ‘Sup, boss? Paul wanted to know.
好吧，我们不会等他一整天的。他一会儿就得赶上来的。老大，是吗？保罗问。
And nobody wanted a replay of what they were up to right now.
没有人想马上重放他们正在做的事情。
I loped through the thick forest toward them.
我大步穿过茂密的森林走向他们。
Sam sat back on his haunches and let another howl rip into the air. It was a signal and an order in one.
山姆的臀部坐下，让另一个嚎叫撕裂空气。这是一个信号和一个命令。
I sped up, wanting to be there. I heard Leah move faster, too. She hated being outrun. Being the fastest was the only edge she claimed.
我加快脚步，希望赶到那里。我听说利亚动作也快了。她讨厌被逃脱。她自称是最快的。
Leah, Embry, and Paul all were working in toward them, too. Leah was close — soon I could hear her footfalls not far into the woods. We continued in a parallel line, choosing not to run together.
利亚、恩布里和保罗也都在向他们工作。利亚在接近——很快我能听到她的脚步声在不远的树林里。我们继续走在一条平行线上，选择不一起跑。
The pack was gathered a few miles east of where I was.
狼群在我所在的东部几英里处聚集。
I felt Sam’s thoughts flicker to me — and not just Sam’s, but Seth’s and Collin’s and Brady’s as well.
我觉得山姆的想法动摇了我——而且不仅仅是山姆的，但除了塞思和科兰的和布雷迪的。
Seth, tell them what you heard.
塞思，告诉他们你听到了什么。
I didn’t know why Seth was already out here, and in the know. It wasn’t his turn.
我不知道为什么塞思来了这里，我知道还没轮到他巡逻。
We need to talk. Something’s happened.
我们需要谈谈。发生了些事情。
Collin and Brady — the new kids — had been running patrol with Sam today, so they would know whatever he knew.
科兰和布雷迪——新成员——今天一直在和山姆在巡逻，这样他们就知道一切。
She was alive. Or she wasn’t dead dead, at least.
至少，她还活着，没有死亡。
Yeah, bro, and here’s the bad news. Charlie talked to her, said she sounded bad. She told him she’s sick. Carlisle got on and told Charlie that Bella picked up some rare disease in South America. Said she’s quarantined. Charlie’s going crazy, ’cause even he’s not allowed to see her. He says he doesn’t care if he gets sick, but Carlisle wouldn’t bend. No visitors. Told Charlie it was pretty serious, but that he’s doing everything he can. Charlie’s been stewing about it for days, but he only called Billy now. He said she sounded worse today.
是阿，这是个坏消息。查理告诉她，她听起来不大好（电话里）。她告诉他她只是病了。卡莱尔接过电话告诉查理贝拉是得了一些在南美比较罕见的疾病，说她是被隔离了。查理很疯狂，原因是甚至连他也不被允许见她。他说他不在乎会不会被传染，但是卡莱尔不肯屈服。这不是不是参观。卡莱尔说那是非常严重的，但他会尽全力。查理这几天一直焦急不安，但他只能给贝拉打电话。他说她今天听起来更糟。
So he’s all flipped out. Guess Edward and Bella got home last week, and…
所以他转动着。猜想爱德华和贝拉在上周回家，然后……
Charlie called around till he found Billy at my house. Yeah, I talked to him, Paul added.
查利四处拜访，直到在我家找到比利。是的，我和他谈过了，保罗补充道。
I dug my nails into the loam and shot myself forward.
我把指甲抓进泥土里，向前冲。
I felt a jolt go through me as Seth thought Charlie’s name. This was it. The waiting was over. I ran faster, forcing myself to breathe, though my lungs felt kinda stiff all of a sudden.
当塞思想起查利的名字时，我感到一阵震动。就是这样。等待结束了。我跑得更快，强迫自己呼吸，尽管我的肺突然觉得有点僵硬。
Neither of us slowed.
我们俩都没慢下来。
Sam didn’t seem in the mood to put up with our usual crap. Jake, Leah, give it a rest.
山姆似乎没有心情容忍我们的废话。杰克，利亚，休息一下。
Which story would it be?
这些故事将是什么？
Sam growled, but let it go. Seth?
山姆咆哮着，让它去吧。塞思？
I hadn’t realized how much difference it would make to me. I’d been thinking of her as dead this whole time, and I only saw that now. I saw that I’d never believed that he would bring her back alive. It shouldn’t matter, because I knew what was coming next.
我还没有意识到那对我来说有大的不同。当我以为死时直至现在，我只是一直想着她，我现在只看见那个。我看见了我永远也不会相信的，他把她活着带了回来。那不应该，因为我知道接下来会发生什么。
My chest eased up.
我的胸口缓和了一些。
Claim this, moron, she hissed, and then she really kicked it into gear.
承认吧，笨蛋，她说，然后她真的跑得像是齿轮。
So she would die of this disease, as far as Charlie knew. Would they let him view the corpse? The pale, perfectly still, unbreathing white body? They couldn’t let him touch the cold skin — he might notice how hard it was.
所以，她会死于这种疾病，在尽可能远离查理知道的地方。他们会让他去认领尸体吗？那个暗淡的，仍旧完美的，却没有呼吸的苍白身体？他们不能让他触摸那个冰凉的皮肤。——他能知道那会有多艰难。
They’d have to wait until she could hold still, could keep from killing Charlie and the other mourners. How long would that take?
他们不得不一直等着直到她依旧能够支撑自己，然后继续杀掉查理或者其他送葬者？
The mental silence when Seth finished was profound. We all understood.
当塞思说完之后保持内心沉默着。我们都理解。
The others listened to my speculating in silence. I’d put a lot more thought into this than any of them.
其他人在沉默中听着我的猜测。我把比别人更多的心思都放在这上面了。
Would they bury her? Would she dig herself out, or would the bloodsuckers come for her?
他们会埋葬她吗？然后她将自己挖出来，或是别的的吸血鬼把她挖出来？
I wondered why I was the only one on my feet. My fur stood up on my shoulders, bristling with impatience.
我想知道为什么只有我一个是用脚走的。我的皮毛搭在肩上，不耐烦地立着。
Beatcha again, Leah thought, but I barely heard her.
Beatcha再次，利亚的思想，但我几乎没有听到她。
Leah and I entered the clearing at nearly the same time. She was sure her nose led the way, though. She dropped onto her haunches beside her brother while I trotted forward to stand at Sam’s right hand. Paul circled and made room for me in my place.
莉娅和我几乎同时进入空地的。但她肯定是她的鼻子先到这的。当我小跑着占到山姆的右手边时，保罗在我周围盘旋，给我让出地方。
You gonna be the one to take her down?
你要成为取走她的那个人吗？
Oh, come on! The treaty’s broken!
哦，过来！条约被破坏了！
Well, what are we waiting for? I asked.
好吧，我们还在等什么？我问。
OH, PLEASE!
哦，拜托！
Okay, so the circumstantial evidence is pretty strong. Still… Jacob. Sam’s thought came slow, hesitant. Are you sure this is what you want? Is it really the right thing? We all know what she wanted.
好吧，所以相关迹象很明显。仍然……雅各伯。山姆的想法来得很慢，很犹豫。你确定这是你想要的吗？这真的是对的吗？我们都知道她想要什么。（狼人能互听对方的心思，所以这些对话都没有引号。）
Shut up, kid! Just ’cause you’ve got some kind of sick hero worship thing going on with that bloodsucker, it doesn’t change the law. They are our enemies. They are in our territory. We take them out. I don’t care if you had fun fighting alongside Edward Cullen once upon a time.
闭嘴，孩子！只是因为你和吸血鬼发生过某种病态的英雄崇拜的的经历，那不能改变条律。他们在我们的领地上。我们要把他们逐出去。我不在乎是否你又兴趣像从前那样和爱德华。库伦并肩作战。
Jake, Seth thought, they aren’t our enemies.
杰克，赛斯想过了，他们不是我们的敌人。
I couldn’t stop myself from wincing.
我无法停止我的畏缩。
The treaty doesn’t mention anything about victim preferences, Sam! Is she really a victim? Would you label her that way?
这该死的条约偏偏没有提到任何关于任何对于受害者的偏袒，山姆！她是受害者？你能这样标记她？
She’s not Bella anymore.
她不再是贝拉了。
So what are you going to do when Bella fights with them, Jacob? Huh? Seth demanded.
所以当贝拉同他们一起作战时你要做什么，雅各布？赛斯要求。
No one said anything, but I heard their feelings of hesitation.
没有人说话，但我听见了他们犹豫不决的思想。
We have no proof — maybe she is sick…
我们没有证据——也许她是病了……
Yes!
是！
Dang, what’d I miss? Quil thought. He was running for the gathering place full-out.
见鬼，我错过了什么吗？奎尔在想。他跑向那个聚会已经在全面经行的地方。
Come straight here, Quil, Sam ordered. We’ve decided nothing yet.
来这里，奎尔。山姆命令道。我们目前还没有决定什么。
No, you’re not. So, what? You gonna make one of us do it? And then hold a grudge against whoever it is forever?
不，你不是。所以，怎么办？你要成为我们中的一员做那些事吗？然后不再抱怨无论无论将来是谁？
Instinct took over and I crouched forward, snarling at the gangly sand-colored wolf across the circle.
本能结束了，我屈身围着这个身材廋长的有着沙色皮毛的狼咆哮。
Jacob! Sam cautioned. Seth, shut up for a second.
雅各布！山姆警告。赛思，再次闭嘴！
Seth nodded his big head.
赛思点了点头。
We’re getting ready to go, I told him. Why don’t you swing by Kim’s and drag Jared out with your teeth? We’re going to need everyone.
正准备走，我告诉他。为什么你没有被金摇晃然后用你的牙齿拖着杰瑞德出去？我们需要每一个人。
I wouldn’t…
无我不会……
Heard about Charlie’s call…
听说查理的电话……
Sure you won’t. You’re not ready for this fight, Jacob.
相信你不会。你现在还没有为这场斗争做好准备，雅各布。
Jacob, I have to think about what’s best for this pack. I have to choose the course that protects you all best. Times have changed since our ancestors made that treaty. I… well, I don’t honestly believe that the Cullens are a danger to us. And we know that they will not be here much longer. Surely once they’ve told their story, they will disappear. Our lives can return to normal.
雅各布，我不得不思考什么对我们这个群体最好。我得你选择一条路线以最好地保护你。自从我们的祖先定下这些条约以来，时代已经发生了变化。我……好吧，我没有公正诚实地去相信库伦一家会危及到我们。并且我们知道他们不会在这呆多久了。当然，一旦他们的故事被告知，他们就将消失。我们的生活就可以恢复正常了。
I growled.
我咆哮着。
I honor my pack. I do what’s best for them.
我履行条约。我会为他们做最好的。
Are you afraid?
你害怕吗？
Coward.
懦夫。
I’m not afraid to die.
我不怕死。
Oops. Sorry, Sam.
哎呀，抱歉，山姆。
Enough, Jacob. You’re overruled. Sam’s mental voice changed, took on that strange double timbre that we could not disobey. The voice of the Alpha. He met the gaze of every wolf in the circle.
够了，雅各布。你被否决了。山姆的心里语言变化着，用一个奇怪的我们不能违抗的双重音。阿尔法之音。他在圆圈里遇见了每一只狼的目光。
I know that, Jacob. It’s one reason I question your judgment on this.
我知道，雅各布。那只是我让你判断的一个问题。
I stared into his black eyes. Do you intend to honor our fathers’ treaty or not?
我盯着他乌黑的眼睛。你决定去履行我们的父亲们的条约了吗？
Are you so ready to lose a brother? He paused. Or a sister? he tacked on as an afterthought.
你准备好失去一个兄弟了吗？他停顿一下。或是一个姐妹？他添了一点。
His muzzle tensed, pulling back over his teeth.
他紧绷着喷道，来回摩挲着他的牙齿。
If we challenge them, Jacob, they will defend themselves well.
如果我们向他们挑战，雅各布，他们会把自己捍卫的很好。
Normal?
正常？
The pack is not attacking the Cullens without provocation. The spirit of the treaty remains. They are not a danger to our people, nor are they a danger to the people of Forks. Bella Swan made an informed choice, and we are not going to punish our former allies for her choice.
这个团体在未经骚扰之前不能打扰库伦一家。这个条约仅仅留下的念头。他们没有对人类产生危险，也不是让人们产生分歧的交叉口。是贝拉她自己做出的选择。我们不会因为她的选择而惩罚我们的朋友。
I thought I told you to shut it, Seth.
我想我告诉过你不要理它，塞思。
Hear, hear, Seth thought enthusiastically.
听，听。塞思思想的热情。
I left the circle, moving toward the west so that I could turn my back on him. I’m going to tell my father goodbye. Apparently there was no purpose in me sticking around this long.
我离开圈子这个，向西方走，以便于我能和他谈谈。我要先去和我的父亲告别。显然，长期对我用棍棒并没有什么效果。
Shut up, Seth, several voices thought together.
闭嘴，塞思。一些思想混在一起了。
Jacob, where do you think you’re going?
呃，雅各布，你认为你会去哪？
We don’t want you to leave, Sam told me, his thought softer than before.
我们不想你离开。山姆说，他的思想比以前要温和了。
So force me to stay, Sam. Take away my will. Make me a slave.
所以强迫我留下来，山姆。带走我的意志，把我变成机器。
I ran away from them, trying very hard not to think about what was next. Instead, I concentrated on my memories of the long wolf months, of letting the humanity bleed out of me until I was more animal than man. Living in the moment, eating when hungry, sleeping when tired, drinking when thirsty, and running — running just to run. Simple desires, simple answers to those desires. Pain came in easily managed forms. The pain of hunger. The pain of cold ice under your paws. The pain of cutting claws when dinner got feisty. Each pain had a simple answer, a clear action to end that pain.
我离开他们向远处跑去，尽量不去想接下来要怎样。相反的，我集中去想在我长期成为狼的那几个月，让人类的血液从我身体里流出，直到我做动物的时间比做一个男人的时间还要长。此刻的生活，饿了去吃饭，困了去睡觉，渴了去饮水，然后一直跑一直跑——跑步就是为了跑步。简单的欲望，对这些欲望的简单回答。疼痛以易于管理的形式出现。饥饿的痛苦。寒冰在爪子下带来的疼痛。切爪子当晚餐的痛苦。每个痛苦都有一个简单的答案，一个明确的行动来结束痛苦。
Aw, Jake — don’t do that again!
呃，杰克——别再这样了！
You know I won’t do that.
你知道我不会那样。
Then there’s nothing more to say.
然后没有多余的话可以说了。
Sam had made a very clear ruling. The pack would not attack the Cullens. Okay.
山姆做了一个非常明确的裁决。这个团队不会骚扰库伦一家。
I untied my shorts and yanked them on, already running for the house.
当我把我的T恤衫和短裤系上时，我已经跑进房子里了。
Yet, as soon as I was in jogging distance of my house, I shifted back into my human body. I needed to be able to think in privacy.
然而，当我在慢跑离开我的房子一段距离，我变回人类身体。我需要能够一个人思考。
Not like being human.
不喜欢做人类。
I’d done it. I’d hidden what I was thinking and now it was too late for Sam to stop me. He couldn’t hear me now.
我正在这样做。我隐藏了我的想法，山姆想阻止我但是太迟了。他现在不能听见我的想法。
Nope, the pack wasn’t attacking anyone today. But I was.
不，这个团队今天没有伤害任何一个人。但除了我。
He hadn’t mentioned an individual acting alone.
他没有提到一个单独的行动。
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