The brilliant light overhead was still blinding-bright, and yet I could plainly see the glowing strands of the filaments inside the bulb. I could see each color of the rainbow in the white light, and, at the very edge of the spectrum, an eighth color I had no name for.
头顶上明亮的灯光依然十分刺眼，并且我能清晰地看见灯泡中的几缕灯丝。我能在白色的灯光中看见彩虹的每一种颜色，包括那在光谱尽头，一种不知名的颜色。
Everything was so clear.
一切都变得如此清晰。
Behind the light, I could distinguish the individual grains in the dark wood ceiling above. In front of it, I could see the dust motes in the air, the sides the light touched, and the dark sides, distinct and separate. They spun like little planets, moving around each other in a celestial dance.
在光的背后，我能分辨出在黑色木质天花板上的每一条纹路。而在它前面，我能看见空气中的尘埃，它们被清晰、独立地区别成被光照到的那一面和在黑暗中的那些。它们像小行星一样快速旋转着，绕着彼此转动着在空中翩翩起舞。
Sharp. Defined.
明确而鲜明。
I did not need the air, but I liked it. In it, I could taste the room around me — taste the lovely dust motes, the mix of the stagnant air mingling with the flow of slightly cooler air from the open door. Taste a lush whiff of silk. Taste a faint hint of something warm and desirable, something that should be moist, but wasn’t… That smell made my throat burn dryly, a faint echo of the venom burn, though the scent was tainted by the bite of chlorine and ammonia. And most of all, I could taste an almost-honey-lilac-and-sun — flavored scent that was the strongest thing, the closest thing to me.
我不再需要空气，但我依然喜欢它。通过它，我能体会到身体周围的空间——体会到可爱的尘埃，体会到混沌的空气与从敞开的门外涌入的微冷的空气混合起来的感受。品尝到丝绸华丽舒适的气息。品尝到一些来自温暖并具有吸引力的东西的微弱的暗示，也许是湿润的，又或许不是……这股气息使我的喉咙饥渴地燃烧起来，对毒液的燃烧做出微弱的回应。虽然这股气味被一些氯气和氨水所污染了。总之，我尝到一种几乎是有着蜂蜜、丁香和阳光的味道，这便是对我来说最强有力的事情。
The dust was so beautiful that I inhaled in shock; the air whistled down my throat, swirling the motes into a vortex. The action felt wrong. I considered, and realized the problem was that there was no relief tied to the action. I didn’t need the air. My lungs weren’t waiting for it. They reacted indifferently to the influx.
尘埃是如此的美丽，使我不由惊讶地吸了口气。空气呼啸着进入我的喉咙，将尘埃卷成一个漩涡。这个举动感觉不太对劲。我想了想，然后意识到问题在于这个举动不再意味着任何轻松。我不再需要空气。我的肺不再期待它。它们不以为然地对涌入的空气做出反应。
The TV downstairs had been muted, and I heard someone — Rosalie? — shift her weight on the first floor.
楼下电视的音量被减弱了，我听到某个人，是罗莎莉？在底楼快速移动着。
I also heard a faint, thudding rhythm, with a voice shouting angrily to the beat. Rap music? I was mystified for a moment, and then the sound faded away like a car passing by with the windows rolled down.
我同样听到了轻微的、砰砰作响的旋律以及伴随着节奏的吼叫声。是说唱音乐？我迷惑了一会儿，接着声音像汽车关着车窗行驶而过那样消失了。
I heard the sound of the others, breathing again now that I did. Their breath mixed with the scent that was something just off honey and lilac and sunshine, bringing new flavors. Cinnamon, hyacinth, pear, seawater, rising bread, pine, vanilla, leather, apple, moss, lavender, chocolate… I traded a dozen different comparisons in my mind, but none of them fit exactly. So sweet and pleasant.
我听到了其他人的声音，他们的呼吸混合着刚才蜂蜜、丁香和阳光的味道，并带来新的气息。桂皮、风信子、梨、海水、蓬松的面包、松树、香草、苹果、苔藓、薰衣草、巧克力……我的脑海中做着一番比较，但没有一个能精确地符合如此甜美，如此吸引人的气味。
With a start, I realized that this could be exactly right. Could I hear all the way to the freeway?
我猛地意识到这可能是对的。我能听见高速公路的所有声音吗？
I didn’t realize someone was holding my hand until whoever it was squeezed it lightly. Like it had before to hide the pain, my body locked down again in surprise. This was not a touch I expected. The skin was perfectly smooth, but it was the wrong temperature. Not cold.
直到我的手被轻轻挤压了下，我还没意识到有人正握着我的手。就像之前隐藏着痛苦那样，我的身体惊讶地再次封闭起来。这不是我期待中的触碰。皮肤非常光滑，但温度不对，并不冰冷。
Oh. Of course. Edward wouldn’t feel cold to me. We were the same temperature now.
哦，当然，爱德华对我来说不再是冰冷的，我们的体温现在是相同的。
Air hissed up my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees. Before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur — but it did not. I saw every dust mote, every splinter in the wood-paneled walls, every loose thread in microscopic detail as my eyes whirled past them.
空气在我的喉咙里发出嘶嘶声，用一种低沉、可怕得像一大群蜜蜂一样的嘶嘶声穿过我的牙齿。声音发出之前，我的肌肉已紧绷起来，远离这未知的人。我迅速地转过身，快得以至于视线会看不清楚房间，但那并未发生。我看得见每一粒尘埃，在墙壁的木质壁板上的每一个碎片以及每一个分开的细微之处，就像我的眼睛旋转着穿过了它们。
After that first frozen second of shock, my body responded to the unfamiliar touch in a way that shocked me even more.
震惊了一秒后，我的身体用甚至使我惊愕的方式回应了这陌生的触碰。
So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively — about a sixteenth of a second later — I already understood what had startled me, and that I had overreacted.
所以当我发现自己在十六分之一秒后防御性地蹲在墙边时，我明白是什么惊吓了我，并且我的反应过激了。
Edward was leaning across the operating table that had been my pyre, his hand reached out toward me, his expression anxious.
爱德华正靠在手术台上，那曾是我的柴堆。他的手向我伸来，神情焦虑。
I held my pose for an eighth of a second longer, adjusting to the scene before me.
我保持了超过八分之一秒的姿势来适应面前的景象。
My vampire family waited cautiously against the far wall by the door, Emmett and Jasper in the front. Like there was danger. My nostrils flared, searching for the threat. I could smell nothing out of place. That faint scent of something delicious — but marred by harsh chemicals — tickled my throat again, setting it to aching and burning.
我的吸血鬼家族小心地在靠近门的墙旁等待着，埃美特和贾斯帕在前面。好像那很危险。我闻着，搜寻着威胁。我闻不到任何不对劲的地方。只有被刺激性的化学试剂破坏的香味再次使我的喉咙发痒，使它渴望着，燃烧着。
Alice was peeking around Jasper’s elbow with a huge grin on her face; the light sparkled off her teeth, another eight-color rainbow.
爱丽丝开怀地看着贾斯帕的肘部，光迸发在她的牙齿上，那是彩虹的第八种颜色。
Edward’s face was the most important thing, but my peripheral vision catalogued everything else, just in case. Some instinct to defend had been triggered, and I automatically searched for any sign of danger.
他的脸是最重要的事，但为了以防万一，我的余光扫了眼其他人。一些保护的本能被激发了，我自动地搜寻着任何危险的迹象。
That grin reassured me and then put the pieces together. Jasper and Emmett were in the front to protect the others, as I had assumed. What I hadn’t grasped immediately was that I was the danger.
这笑容使我安定下来，恢复了平静。正如我假设的那样，贾斯帕和埃美特在前面保护着其他人。我没有立即领悟到我便是危险。
All this was a sideline. The greater part of my senses and my mind were still focused on Edward’s face.
这一切只是顺便观察到的，我大部分的意识和思维仍集中在爱德华的脸上。
I had never seen it before this second.
在这一秒之前我不曾见过它。
I may as well have been blind.
我可能是失明的。
How many times had I stared at Edward and marveled over his beauty? How many hours — days, weeks — of my life had I spent dreaming about what I then deemed to be perfection? I thought I’d known his face better than my own. I’d thought this was the one sure physical thing in my whole world: the flawlessness of Edward’s face.
有多少次我注视着爱德华并为他的美丽感到惊奇？我曾用生命中的多少个小时乃至星期来想象我所认为的完美。我想我了解他的容貌胜过我自己的。我曾认为这是我的世界中唯一确定的事物：爱德华完美无缺的容貌。
For the first time, with the dimming shadows and limiting weakness of humanity taken off my eyes, I saw his face. I gasped and then struggled with my vocabulary, unable to find the right words. I needed better words.
随着昏暗的阴影和人类限制性的弱点从我的眼中消失，我第一次看见了他的脸。我喘息着与我的词汇量斗争，不能找到一个合适的词。我需要更好的词汇来形容它。
I was momentarily preoccupied by the way my body moved. The instant I’d considered standing erect, I was already straight. There was no brief fragment of time in which the action occurred; change was instantaneous, almost as if there was no movement at all.
我马上思考起我身体的移动方式。我一想到要笔直地站立，便真的站直了。没有片刻的时间间隔，动作便发生了，迅速地改变就像根本不曾有过改变。
At this point, the other part of my attention had ascertained that there was no danger here besides myself, and I automatically straightened out of my crouch; almost a whole second had passed since I’d been on the table.
在这一刻，我的注意力的其余部分明白到，这儿除了我之外，便没有危险了，于是我不假思索地挺直了蹲着的姿势，几乎在一秒钟之内我回到手术台上。
I watched the grace of his advance, absorbing it with my new eyes.
我看着他优美地前行，通过我的新眼睛沉迷其中。
“Bella?” he asked in a low, calming tone, but the worry in his voice layered my name with tension.
“贝拉？”他用低沉、平静的语调问道，但他声音中的担忧将我的名字与紧张的情绪层叠起来。
I continued to stare at Edward’s face, motionless again.
我仍注视着爱德华的脸，再次一动不动。
“Bella, love? I’m sorry, I know it’s disorienting. But you’re all right. Everything is fine.”
“贝拉，亲爱的？我很抱歉，我知道这令人迷惑。但你很好，一切都好。”
He moved slowly around the table — each step taking nearly half a second, each step flowing sinuously like river water weaving over smooth stones — his hand still outstretched.
他慢慢地沿着手术台走来——每一步都几乎用了半秒钟，每一步都像河水在平滑的石头上穿行那样蜿蜒流淌着，他的手仍张开着。
I could not answer immediately, lost as I was in the velvet folds of his voice. It was the most perfect symphony, a symphony in one instrument, an instrument more profound than any created by man…
我无法马上回应，而是迷失在他天鹅绒褶皱般的声音中。这是由一种比人们所创造出的任何一种器械更精奥的仪器发出的最完美的交响乐……
Everything? My mind spun out, spiraling back to my last human hour. Already, the memory seemed dim, like I was watching through a thick, dark veil — because my human eyes had been half blind. Everything had been so blurred.
一切？我的思维快速运转起来，回到了作为人类的最后一个小时。记忆已变得朦胧，就好像我透过一层厚重的黑面纱观看着——因为我人类的眼睛是半失明的。一切都模糊不清。
When he said everything was fine, did that include Renesmee? Where was she? With Rosalie? I tried to remember her face — I knew that she had been beautiful — but it was irritating to try to see through the human memories. Her face was shrouded in darkness, so poorly lit…
当他说一切都好时，包括了蕾妮斯梅吗？她在哪儿？和罗莎莉在一起？我努力回忆她的脸，但试着透过人类的记忆看她，实是在令人烦恼。她的脸隐藏在黑暗中，光线如此微弱……
What about Jacob? Was he fine? Did my long-suffering best friend hate me now? Had he gone back to Sam’s pack? Seth and Leah, too?
雅各伯呢？他还好吗？我长期受苦的好朋友现在恨我吗？他回到山姆的队伍里了吗？塞思和利亚也是吗？
Were the Cullens safe, or had my transformation ignited the war with the pack? Did Edward’s blanket assurance cover all of that? Or was he just trying to calm me?
卡伦一家安全吗？我的转变是否点燃了战火？爱德华笼统的保证包括了这一切吗？或者他只是想要安抚我？
His touch seemed to sweep beneath the surface of my skin, right through the bones of my face. The feeling was tingly, electric — it jolted through my bones, down my spine, and trembled in my stomach.
他的触碰似乎掠过了我的皮肤表面，直接穿越到我的骨头。这种感觉刺激而使人兴奋——它震撼着穿过我的骨头，直至脊椎，在我的胃里轻颤。
And Charlie? What would I tell him now? He must have called while I was burning. What had they told him? What did he think had happened to me?
还有查理呢？他一定在我燃烧时打来过电话。他们会对他说些什么？他会认为在我身上发生了什么呢？
Wait, I thought as the trembling blossomed into a warmth, a yearning. Wasn’t I supposed to lose this? Wasn’t giving up this feeling a part of the bargain?
等等，我的思想随着战栗发展成一种热情和渴望。我应该失去它吗？放弃这种感觉是交易的一部分吗？
As I deliberated for one small piece of a second over which question to ask first, Edward reached out tentatively and stroked his fingertips across my cheek. Smooth as satin, soft as a feather, and now exactly matched to the temperature of my skin.
正当我在片刻间思索着要先问哪一个问题时，爱德华犹豫着用指尖轻抚过我的脸颊，如同丝绸一般光滑，羽毛一般轻柔，并真切地贴合着我的体温。
I was a newborn vampire. The dry, scorching ache in my throat gave proof to that. And I knew what being a newborn entailed. Human emotions and longings would come back to me later in some form, but I’d accepted that I would not feel them in the beginning.
我是一个新生的吸血鬼。喉咙中干渴、炙热的渴望便证实了这一点。并且我明白作为一个新生儿需要什么。之后我会通过某种方式回想起人类的情感和渴望，但我相信我不会在一开始便感受得到它们。
He arched one perfect eyebrow, waiting for me to speak.
他弯起一根眉毛，等着我开口。
Only thirst. That was the deal, the price. I’d agreed to pay it.
唯有饥渴。那便是交易和代价。我心甘情愿付出代价。
Again, it was like there was no movement. One moment I stood straight and still as a statue; in the same instant, he was in my arms.
又一次仿佛没有任何移动。这一刻我像雕像般伫立着，而在同一时刻，他已在我怀中。
But as Edward’s hand curled to the shape of my face like satin-covered steel, desire raced through my dried-out veins, singing from my scalp to my toes.
但当爱德华的手像覆盖着丝绸的金属般，弯曲地贴合在我脸部的轮廓上时，渴望迅速地从头皮到脚趾，穿梭于我干燥的脉搏中。
I threw my arms around him.
我张开双臂抱住他。
And then he shifted his weight uncomfortably. Leaned away from my embrace. I stared up at his face, confused and frightened by the rejection.
接着他不舒服地转移了重心，移开了我的拥抱。我注视着他的脸，因拒绝而感到迷惑和害怕。
Warm — or at least, that was my perception. With the sweet, delicious scent that I’d never been able to really take in with my dull human senses, but that was one hundred percent Edward. I pressed my face into his smooth chest.
拥抱如此温暖——至少我是这样感觉到的。它伴随着我不曾通过我迟钝的人类的感观感受到的香甜芬芳的气息，但那确实是百分之百的爱德华。我将脸埋入他光滑的胸口。
“Um… carefully, Bella. Ow.”
“嗯……小心些，贝拉。哦。”
I was too strong.
我太强壮了。
I yanked my arms away, folding them behind my back as soon as I understood.
我一领悟过来，就立即移开了手臂，放在背后。
“Oops,” I mouthed.
“糟糕，”我不出声地叹息。
These emotions were so much stronger than I was used to that it was hard to stick to one train of thought despite the extra room in my head. Each new sensation overwhelmed me. I remembered Edward saying once — his voice in my head a weak shadow compared to the crystal, musical clarity I was hearing now — that his kind, our kind, were easily distracted. I could see why.
这些情感比我过去的要强烈得多，除了脑中额外的空间，我很难持续一种思考。每一种新的感受充溢在我体内。我立刻记起了爱德华的话——在我脑中虚弱的阴影处的他的声音与我现在听到的水晶般悦耳的清晰的声音形成了对比。
He smiled the kind of smile that would have stopped my heart if it were still beating.
他的笑容仿佛能使我的心脏停止跳动，如果它仍在跳动的话。
“Don’t panic, love,” he said, lifting his hand to touch my lips, parted in horror. “You’re just a bit stronger than I am for the moment.”
“别慌，亲爱的”，他的手触及我因恐惧而张开的双唇。“你只是暂时要比我强壮一些。”
His hand stroked my cheek again, and I all but forgot my distress as another wave of desire rippled through my motionless body.
他的手再一次轻抚我的脸颊，而当另一波渴望在我静止的体内涌起时，我忘却了担忧。
My eyebrows pushed together. I’d known this, too, but it felt more surreal than any other part of this ultimately surreal moment. I was stronger than Edward. I’d made him say ow.
我皱了皱眉，这我也知道。但它比这奇特的时刻的其余部分感觉更奇怪。我比爱德华还要强壮。我让他说了哦。
“I love you,” I said, but it sounded like singing. My voice rang and shimmered like a bell.
“我爱你”，我对他说，但这听起来就像是在唱歌。我的声音像铃铛般叮咚闪烁。
I made a concerted effort to focus. There was something I needed to say. The most important thing.
我努力集中精力，我需要说一件事。一件最重要的事。
Very carefully, so carefully that the movement was actually discernible, I brought my right arm out from behind my back and raised my hand to touch his cheek. I refused to let myself be sidetracked by the pearly color of my hand or by the smooth silk of his skin or by the charge that zinged in my fingertips.
我非常非常小心地，使这移动显而易见，并将右手从背后伸出，触碰了他的脸颊。我拒绝让自己被手上珍珠般的色泽，被他丝绸般光滑的皮肤或是被在我指尖迅速通过的电流分散了注意力。
I stared into his eyes and heard my own voice for the first time.
我凝视着他的眼睛，并第一次听到了我自己的声音。
His answering smile dazzled me more than it ever had when I was human; I could really see it now.
他回应的笑容，使我比身为人类时，更加感到晕眩。现在我真正看清了它。
“As I love you,” he told me.
他回应我：“就像我爱你一样。”
He took my face between his hands and leaned his face to mine — slow enough to remind me to be careful. He kissed me, soft as a whisper at first, and then suddenly stronger, fiercer. I tried to remember to be gentle with him, but it was hard work to remember anything in the onslaught of sensation, hard to hold on to any coherent thoughts.
他的双手捧起我的脸，将他的脸靠在我的脸上——如此缓慢地提醒着我要小心。他先是如同低语般轻柔地吻我，突然变得激烈而狂热。我努力提醒自己要温柔地对待他，但在感官的猛攻下我难以记住任何事，难以保持住任何的理智。
It almost made me feel guilty. Surely I was in breach of the contract. I couldn’t be allowed to have this, too.
这几乎让我感到惭愧。诚然我违背了协议，我同样不被允许拥有这个。
Though I didn’t need oxygen, my breathing sped, raced as fast as it had when I was burning. This was a different kind of fire.
虽然我不需要氧气，但我的呼吸加速，就像我在燃烧时那样地急迫。这是另一种火焰。
I’d forgotten we weren’t alone. And then I realized that the way I was curved around Edward now was not exactly polite for company.
我忘了我们并不是单独的。接着我便意识到，此刻我缠着爱德华的方式对其他人来说不太礼貌。
It was like he’d never kissed me — like this was our first kiss. And, in truth, he’d never kissed me this way before.
就像他从未吻过我一样——这就像我们的初吻。事实上，在这之前他确实不曾这样吻过我。
Someone cleared his throat. Emmett. I recognized the deep sound at once, joking and annoyed at the same time.
有人清了清喉咙。是埃美特。我立刻认出了那同时伴随着戏谑和恼怒的低沉的声音。
Embarrassed, I half-stepped away in another instantaneous movement.
我尴尬地瞬间移开了半步。
I took an unnecessary breath to settle myself.
我不必要的吸了口气来自我调节。
Edward chuckled and stepped with me, keeping his arms tight around my waist. His face was glowing — like a white flame burned from behind his diamond skin.
爱德华停止了吻，和我一起移开步子，手臂仍紧紧地环绕着我的腰。他的脸热情洋溢得就像一簇白色的火焰从他钻石般的皮肤后燃烧起来。
How different this kissing was! I read his expression as I compared the indistinct human memories to this clear, intense feeling. He looked… a little smug.
这个吻是如此不同！当我将模糊的人类的记忆与这清晰而强烈的感受作比较时，我揣摩着他的表情。他看起来有一些……沾沾自喜。
“You’ve been holding out on me,” I accused in my singing voice, my eyes narrowing a tiny bit.
我微微眯起眼睛，用歌唱般的声音指控道：“你瞒着我。”
Carlisle stepped around Emmett and walked toward me swiftly; his eyes were only slightly wary, but Jasper shadowed his footsteps. I’d never seen Carlisle’s face before either, not really. I had an odd urge to blink — like I was staring at the sun.
卡莱尔绕过艾美特向我迅速走来，他的目光只是稍微有些谨慎，但贾斯帕紧紧盯着他的步子。在这之前，我同样从未真正见到过卡莱尔的脸。我有一种奇怪的像是要失明的冲动——好像我正注视着太阳。
I frowned as I considered that, and then Edward was not the only one laughing.
一想到这个，我便皱起了眉头。接着不止爱德华一个人笑了起来。
I considered that for a sixty-fourth of a second.
我想了不到四分之一秒。
He laughed, radiant with relief that it was all over — the fear, the pain, the uncertainties, the waiting, all of it behind us now. “It was sort of necessary at the time,” he reminded me. “Now it’s your turn to not break me.” He laughed again.
他灿烂地笑起来，伴随着对这一切的解脱——害怕、痛苦、犹豫和等待。“对当时来说，这是必须的。”他提醒我说：“现在轮到你要小心，不要伤害到我了。”他再次笑了起来。
“How do you feel, Bella?” Carlisle asked.
“感觉如何，贝拉？”他问。
“Overwhelmed. There’s so much…” I trailed off, listening to the bell-tone of my voice again.
“充满力量。有这么多……”我越说越小声，再一次听见自己铃铛般的声音。
“Yes, it can be quite confusing.”
“嗯，是的，这的确有点让人糊涂。”
Edward’s arms squeezed lightly around my waist. “I told you so,” he whispered.
爱德华搂着我的手稍微收紧了一点。“我告诉过你的，”他在我耳边说。
I nodded one fast, jerky bob. “But I feel like me. Sort of. I didn’t expect that.”
我飞快的点着头，像抽筋一样。“但我觉得我还是我，一部分，我从来没期待这样过。”
He nodded seriously, and then his jeweled eyes glittered with interest. “It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?”
他严肃的点点头，然后他宝石般的眼睛闪烁着探究的兴趣，“似乎这次给你注射mafei是很明智的选择。告诉我，你对转变的过程记得多少？”
“You are quite controlled,” Carlisle mused. “More so than I expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this.”
“你似乎控制的挺好的，”卡莱尔若有所思的说：“比我期待的更好，即使在此之前你已经在思想上做好准备了。”
I hesitated, intensely aware of Edward’s breath brushing against my cheek, sending whispers of electricity through my skin.
我犹豫了，马上感觉到爱德华在我耳边呼出的空气扫过我的皮肤，带来触电的感觉。
I thought about the wild mood swings, the difficulty concentrating, and whispered, “I’m not sure about that.”
我想到当时自己兽性的感觉，那种难以集中注意力的感受，然后小声说，“我倒是不太确定。”
“Everything was… very dim before. I remember the baby couldn’t breathe…”
“以前的所有记忆都……很暗淡。我记得我的宝宝无法呼吸。”
I focused on my poker face. I’d never been much of a liar. “It’s hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then… I opened my eyes and I could see everything.”
我控制着自己的扑克脸，知道自己从来就不是一个好的说谎者，“这真的很难记起来，之前的记忆都是那么黑暗，然后……睁开眼，我就看见了所有东西。”
I looked at Edward, momentarily frightened by the memory.
我注视着爱德华，马上被那恐怖的回忆所吓到。
“Renesmee is healthy and well,” he promised, a gleam I’d never seen before in his eyes. He said her name with an understated fervor. A reverence. The way devout people talked about their gods. “What do you remember after that?”
“蕾妮斯梅现在很健康，被照顾的很好，”他保证道，眼睛里闪烁着我从来没有见过的光芒。他叫她的名字时充满热情，甚至崇拜，跟那些虔诚的信徒说到他们的上帝时一样：“在那之后你还记得什么？”
“Amazing,” Carlisle breathed, his eyes alight.
“不可思议，”卡莱尔呼了一口气，他的眼睛亮了起来。
Chagrin washed through me, and I waited for the heat to burn in my cheeks and give me away. And then I remembered that I would never blush again. Maybe that would protect Edward from the truth.
懊恼马上充满了我的脑袋，我等着看自己的脸发烧变红，泄露我的想法。然后我记起来我再也不会脸红了。或许这样就能保护爱德华，不用知道事实的真相。
I’d have to find a way to tip off Carlisle, though. Someday. If he ever needed to create another vampire. That possibility seemed very unlikely, which made me feel better about lying.
但我想我得找机会告诉卡莱尔真相，如果某一天他得再创造一个吸血鬼。不过这种可能性很小，这让我觉得好受了一点。
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Bella,” Carlisle apologized immediately. “Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait.”
“噢，Bella，很抱歉，”卡莱尔马上说：“当然了，你现在一定干渴得很不舒服。这次的讨论可以先放下。”
Until he’d mentioned it, the thirst actually wasn’t unmanageable. There was so much room in my head. A separate part of my brain was keeping tabs on the burn in my throat, almost like a reflex. The way my old brain had handled breathing and blinking.
在他说起这件事之前，那种渴望并不是不能控制的。我脑袋的容量现在是这么庞大，只有其中一个独立的部分专门用来监视着我喉咙的干渴，跟神经反射差不多。就像我原来的大脑控制呼吸和眨眼一样。
“I want you to think — to tell me everything you remember,” Carlisle pressed excitedly, and I couldn’t help the grimace that flashed across my face. I didn’t want to have to keep lying, because I might slip up. And I didn’t want to think about the burning. Unlike the human memories, that part was perfectly clear and I found I could remember it with far too much precision.
“我希望你能回想下所有细节，告诉我，”Carlisle高兴的催着我，我不由自主的露出满脸无奈。我不想继续骗人，因为这很有可能被揭穿。而且我一点都不想想起那火烧般痛苦的细节。不像人类时的记忆，这部分回忆清晰得完美，我觉得我记得的太过清楚了。
My eyes opened wider and the pain of the thirst receded, shock taking its place.
我的眼睛猛然一睁，口渴的疼痛慢慢退去，震惊占据了它的位置。
Me? Hunt? With Edward? But… how? I didn’t know what to do.
我？打猎？跟爱德华一起？但是……怎么样？我不知道要做什么啊。
But Carlisle’s assumption brought the burn to the forefront of my mind. Suddenly, the dry ache was all I could think about, and the more I thought about it, the more it hurt. My hand flew up to cup my throat, like I could smother the flames from the outside. The skin of my neck was strange beneath my fingers. So smooth it was somehow soft, though it was hard as stone, too.
但是卡莱尔的提醒让这干渴占据我绝大部分的注意力。突然之间，这干渴的疼痛变成我唯一能想到的东西，而且我越注意它，它就越痛。我的手掐住自己的喉咙，好像这样能减轻喉咙的燃烧一样。我手指下脖子上的皮肤触感有点奇怪，像丝一般光滑，同时又跟石头一样坚硬。
I laughed in a short burst of humor (part of me listened in wonder to the pealing bell sound) as his words reminded me of cloudy human conversations. And then I took a whole second to run quickly through those first days with Edward — the true beginning of my life — in my head so that I would never forget them.
我被这突如其来的幽默逗笑了，他的话的确让我想起原来我们的那些对话。然后我在脑海中用了整整一秒回想了下最初跟爱德华在一起的日子——那是我生命真正的开始——我永远都不会忘记它。
Edward dropped his arms and took my other hand, tugging gently. “Let’s hunt, Bella.”
爱德华把手从我腰上放下来，然后抓住我的手，温柔的拉着我说，“我们去打猎吧，贝拉。”
He read the alarm in my expression and smiled encouragingly. “It’s quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don’t worry, I’ll show you.” When I didn’t move, he grinned his crooked smile and raised his eyebrows. “I was under the impression that you’d always wanted to see me hunt.”
他从我脸上看出了我的惊慌，鼓励的微笑道，“其实这挺容易的，亲爱的。完全是本能。不用担心，我会教你的。”当我僵住的时候，他咧开嘴邪邪的一笑，抬了抬眉毛，“我印象中，你原来一直都很想看我打猎。”
“I’m fine,” I said out of lingering human habit. “Wait. First.”
“我能行。”我克服了人类残留的习性，“但是，先等下。”
I did not want to forget one minute I’d spent with Edward, even now, when eternity stretched in front of us. I would have to make sure those human memories were cemented into my infallible vampire mind.
我不想忘记与爱德华在一起的任何一分钟，即使现在，不朽的一生已经在我眼前展开。我也必须确信我那些人类的回忆已经被牢牢的固定在吸血鬼那绝不出错的脑袋里。
I knew from Rosalie’s experience that if I thought of my human memories enough, I would not lose them over time.
通过罗莎莉的经验，我知道如果我想着人类的回忆足够多，那我就不会忘记它们，即使时间流逝。
“Shall we?” Edward asked. He reached up to take the hand that was still at my neck. His fingers smoothed down the column of my throat. “I don’t want you to be hurting,” he added in a low murmur. Something I would not have been able to hear before.
“我可以吗？”爱德华问道，把我还放在自己脖子上的手拿下来，他的手指从我的颈子上滑下，“我并不想让你去打猎。”他低声抱怨了一句。如果是以前，我根本不会听到。
I did not expect that it would be so uncomfortable to remember. Like trying to squint through muddy water.
但我没想到回忆这些会这么不舒服，像眯着眼睛试图看清浑浊的水面下的情景。
There was so much. I’d never gotten to my questions. There were more important things than the ache.
有那么多我原来从没想过的问题，但是有一件比那疼痛更重要的事。
It was oddly difficult to say her name. My daughter; these words were even harder to think. It all seemed so distant. I tried to remember how I had felt three days ago, and automatically, my hands pulled free of Edward’s and dropped to my stomach.
很奇怪，叫她的名字似乎有些困难。我的女儿，这些话想比说更难。这一切似乎都是很遥远的事了，我尽量去回想三天前是什么感觉，不自觉的，我的手从爱德华身上拿开放在小腹上。
It was Carlisle who spoke now. “Yes?”
现在回答的是卡莱尔，“什么事？”
“I want to see her. Renesmee.”
“我想见她，蕾妮斯梅。”
Flat. Empty. I clutched at the pale silk that covered my skin, panicking again, while an insignificant part of my mind noted that Alice must have dressed me.
那里是平坦的，空荡荡的。我使劲揉搓着这块白丝绸般的皮肤，惊慌马上占据了我的全部思绪。但另一方面，我又注意到爱丽丝原来已经帮我穿上衣服了。
“What?” I demanded.
“怎么了？”我质问道。
While I wrestled with my confusion, I saw Edward and Carlisle exchange a guarded glance.
当我正跟自己迷糊的思绪较劲时，我看见爱德华跟卡莱尔交换了一个警戒的眼神。
“Bella,” Edward said soothingly. “That’s not really a good idea. She’s half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control… You don’t want to put her in danger, do you?”
“贝拉，”爱德华慢慢的说：“这不是一个好主意。她的身体有一半是人类，亲爱的。她的心脏会跳动，血管里流动着人类的鲜血。我想，在你的干渴被完美的控制住之前，你想让她处于危险之中吗？”
I knew there was nothing left inside me, and I faintly remembered the bloody removal scene, but the physical proof was still hard to process. All I knew was loving my little nudger inside of me. Outside of me, she seemed like something I must have imagined. A fading dream — a dream that was half nightmare.
我知道我的肚子里面已经什么都没有了，只依稀记得那血腥的生产过程，但是这身体上的证明还是让我难以接受。我只知道我是那么爱我身体里的小东西。在她出生以后，我猜她肯定和我想象中一样，在那褪色的梦中，在那半是噩梦的回忆中。
I frowned. Of course I must not want that.
我皱了皱眉，我当然不想这样。
Was I out of control? Confused, yes. Easily unfocused, yes.
我会失去控制吗？有可能。容易分心？好像也是。
But dangerous? To her? My daughter?
但我是危险的吗？对她来说？我的女儿？
I couldn’t be positive that the answer was no. So I would have to be patient. That sounded difficult. Because until I saw her again, she wouldn’t be real. Just a fading dream… of a stranger…
我并不能百分之一百否定。那么我只能耐心等待了，听起来似乎很困难。我知道在我亲眼看见她之前，她都不是真实的。她会只是一个陌生人的……褪色的梦。
“Yes,” Edward answered in a clipped tone, and I could see that something he’d thought of upset him.
“是的，”爱德华干巴巴的答道，似乎他想到什么让他很苦恼的事，我猜。
“Where is she?” I listened hard, and then I could hear the beating heart on the floor below me. I could hear more than one person breathing — quietly, like they were listening, too. There was also a fluttering sound, a thrumming, that I couldn’t place…
“她在哪里？”我仔细的聆听着周围，然后我听见楼下一串心脏跳动的声音。我能听见不只一个人安静的呼吸声，他们好像也在聆听着。不过那还有一个烦人的声音，一个轻轻的敲击声，我不知道是什么东西发出的。
So I would definitely have to learn how to hunt before I saw her. My stranger baby.
我知道在见她之前我必须学会打猎了，我陌生的宝宝。
“Is Rosalie with her?”
“罗莎莉跟她在一起吗？”
I’d thought he and Rose were over their differences. Had the animosity erupted again? Before I could ask, he pulled my hands away from my flat stomach, tugging gently again.
难道他和罗莎之间的矛盾还没解决吗？在我想清楚之前，他温柔的拉住我放在平坦的小腹上的手。
And the sound of the heartbeat was so moist and appealing, that my mouth started watering.
然而那心跳的声音是那么明显，那么诱惑，我的嘴里口水拼命上涌着。
Edward didn’t seem to notice my hesitation over the last word. Instead, he was exchanging another wary glance with Carlisle.
爱德华似乎没有注意到我最后一句话里的迟疑。相反，他和卡莱尔又交换了一个焦急的眼神。
“Wait,” I protested again, trying to focus. “What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I… unconscious?”
“等下，”我抗议道，想办法集中注意力：“雅各布呢？他怎么样了？那查理呢？把所有我错过的事都告诉我。我……昏迷了多久了？”
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“到底怎么了？”我小声叫道。
He paused to smile proudly at his son and then sighed. “Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you’re in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he’s frustrated. He’s been speaking to Esme.”
他骄傲的对着自己的儿子微笑，叹了口气又说：“贾里德也在这里，而查理还是相信你还是在生病。他以为你正在亚特兰大住院，在CDC（Centersfor Disease Control 美国疾病防治中心，位于亚特兰大）里忍受着各种检查，他有点泄气。刚才他才跟埃斯梅打了个电话”
“I should call him…,” I murmured to myself, but, listening to my own voice, I understood the new difficulties. He wouldn’t recognize this voice. It wouldn’t reassure him. And then the earlier surprise intruded. “Hold on — Jacob is still here?”
“我应该给他回个电话的……”我责怪自己，但是，听听我的声音，我明白新的困难已经产生。他根本认不出这个声音来。这声音并不能安慰他。突然，之前的一句话吓到了我：“等等——贾里德也在这里？”
“Bella,” Edward said quickly. “There’s much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain…”
“贝拉，”爱德华快速的说：“有太多要讨论的问题了，但你才是最先要考虑的。你现在一定渴的很吧。”
“Nothing is wrong,” Carlisle told me, emphasizing the last word in a strange way. “Nothing has changed much, actually — you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative — the venom injection straight to your heart was his idea.”
“没有任何问题。”卡莱尔回答我，用一种奇怪的语气肯定着，“所有事都没什么变化，事实上，你只昏迷了两天多一点。事情变化的很快。但爱德华处理的非常好，非常具有创造力，是他想到把毒液直接注射到你的心脏里面。”
Another glance between them.
他们又交换了下眼神。
When he pointed that out, I remembered the burn in my throat and swallowed convulsively. “But Jacob –“
当他指出这个问题，我又想起我燃烧的喉咙然后不停的吞口水。“但是Jacob——”
Of course. I could wait a little longer for the answer; it would be easier to listen when the fierce pain of the fiery thirst was no longer scattering my concentration. “Okay.”
当然，我可惜稍微等等再问，等我那激烈的干渴不再分散我的注意力之后：“好吧。”
“We have all the time in the world for explanations, love,” he reminded me gently.
“我们还有一生的时间来解释这些问题，亲爱的。”他温柔的提醒我。
“Wait, wait, wait,” Alice trilled from the doorway. She danced across the room, dreamily graceful. As with Edward and Carlisle, I felt some shock as I really looked at her face for the first time. So lovely.
“等等，等等，”爱丽丝在门边嚷着，用她那种梦幻般优雅的舞姿般穿过房间，走到爱德华和卡莱尔旁边。当我第一次真正看见她的脸时，我有点震惊了，她是那么可爱。
“You promised I could be there the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?”
“你答应过我，我会是第一个看到的。如果你们俩路上遇到什么可以反光的东西怎么办？”
“It will only take a second!” And with that, Alice darted from the room.
“只会耽搁你们几秒钟！”她边说边冲出房门。
“Alice –” Edward protested.
“爱丽丝——”爱德华抗议道。
Edward sighed.
爱德华叹了口气。
But Alice was already back, carrying the huge, gilt-framed mirror from Rosalie’s room, which was nearly twice as tall as she was, and several times as wide.
爱丽丝很快就回来了，手里拿着罗莎莉房里那面巨大的、镀金框的镜子，几乎有她两倍高、几倍的宽。
“What is she talking about?”
“她到底在说什么？”
Jasper had been so still and silent that I’d taken no notice of him since he’d followed behind Carlisle. Now he moved again, to hover over Alice, his eyes locked on my expression. Because I was the danger here.
我都没注意到贾斯帕在这儿，他一直都安静的站在卡莱尔后面。现在他动了，跑到爱丽丝旁边，他的眼睛紧紧的注视着我的表情，我现在知道我就是那危险源了。
I knew he would be tasting the mood around me, too, and so he must have felt my jolt of shock as I studied his face, looking at it closely for the first time.
我知道他正监视着我的心情，所以我想他应该感受到我看见他的脸时的开心，以前从没这样看过他。
Now that I could see, the scars were Jasper’s most dominant feature. It was hard to take my eyes off his ravaged neck and jaw — hard to believe that even a vampire could have survived so many sets of teeth ripping into his throat.
现在我却可以说，疤痕是贾斯帕身上最主要的特征。我很难把目光从他被蹂躏过的颈子和下巴下移开，无法相信即便是吸血鬼的喉咙也会遭受这么多的嗤咬。
The same number that had died in the attempt. Jasper both saw and felt my assessment, my caution, and he smiled wryly.
当我发现贾斯帕看到也感觉到我的猜测、我的防卫后嘴边挂起的无声冷笑时，这些数字在我脑中褪去。
“Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding,” Alice said, pulling my attention away from her frightening lover. “I’m not going to be chewed out again.”
“爱德华曾警告过我，在婚礼之前不能让你照镜子，”爱丽丝说，把我的注意力从她令人恐惧的爱人身上拉回来：“我以后不会再多事的了。”
Through my sightless human eyes, the scars left from his former life with the newborn armies in the South had been mostly invisible. Only with a bright light to throw their slightly raised shapes into definition could I even make out their existence.
在我几乎等于失明的人类眼睛里基本上看不见他左边脸上因为，原来在南部和吸血鬼新生儿在一起的生活所留下的疤痕。只有当有光线直射它们的轮廓变得清晰时，我才能确定这些疤痕的存在。
Instinctively, I tensed to defend myself. Any vampire who saw Jasper would have had the same reaction. The scars were like a lighted billboard. Dangerous, they screamed. How many vampires had tried to kill Jasper? Hundreds? Thousands?
我本能的摆出防御性的姿势。任何第一次见到Jasper的吸血鬼都会有同样的反应。这些伤疤就像最显眼的广告牌，上面写着：危险！到底有多少吸血鬼曾试图杀了贾斯帕？几百？几千？
I was only aware of this exchange with the lesser part of my concentration. The greater part was riveted on the person in the mirror.
我几乎没注意到周围的情况，所有的注意力都放在那个站在镜子中间的人身上。
“Maybe I’m overstating things,” she murmured absently as she turned the mirror to face me.
“可能我是夸张了一点点，”她心不在焉的抱怨道，一边把镜子对着我。
“Chewed out?” Edward asked skeptically, one eyebrow curving upward.
“多事？”爱德华很怀疑的问，一边的眉毛高高的抬起。
“And maybe this has solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification,” he countered.
“还是，这或许只是满足你自己那变态的偷窥狂的爱好？”他反问道。
My first reaction was an unthinking pleasure. The alien creature in the glass was indisputably beautiful, every bit as beautiful as Alice or Esme. She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl.
我的第一反应是不可自制的惊喜。镜子里的人无可置疑的是那么美丽，就像是另一个世界的生物一样。她浑身上下每处地方都跟Alice或Esme一样漂亮。她就像是这个静止的世界里的唯一流动的风景，她的无暇的脸像月亮一样洁白，她的头发像黑色的燃烧着的火焰一样跳跃在脸庞上。她的四肢非常光滑、强壮，皮肤闪闪发光像最完美的珍珠。
Alice winked at him.
爱丽丝朝他眨了眨眼。
And her eyes! Though I’d known to expect them, her eyes still sent a thrill of terror through me.
还有她的眼睛！尽管我曾想象过，她的眼睛仍然让我害怕得颤抖。
Who was she? At first glance, I couldn’t find my face anywhere in the smooth, perfect planes of her features.
她是谁？第一眼望去，我找不到她光滑完美的身体跟我有任何相似的地方。
My second reaction was horror.
我的第二个反应是恐怖。
All the while I studied and reacted, her face was perfectly composed, a carving of a goddess, showing nothing of the turmoil roiling inside me. And then her full lips moved.
在我观察和思考的这段时间，她的脸几乎没有一点动静，就像完美的女神雕像一样显示不出任何一点在我内心激荡的骚乱。然后她饱满的嘴唇动了。
“They’ll darken up in a few months,” Edward said in a soft, comforting voice. “Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They’ll turn amber first, then gold.”
“几个月之内它们就会变暗了，”爱德华用他温柔的声音安抚我：“动物的鲜血比人类的血液能更快的稀释这种颜色。”
No one answered my question. I looked away, to Edward and Alice. Both their eyes were slightly unfocused — reacting to Jasper’s unease. Listening to its cause, looking ahead to the immediate future. I took another deep, unnecessary breath.
没有人回答我的问题。我转过头看向爱德华和爱丽丝。因为贾斯帕的警示，他们的双眼都有点失神。 听完Edward的说明，想到接下来的未来，我深深的吸了一口气，尽管现在已经不用呼吸了。
“Months?” My voice was higher now, stressed. In the mirror, the perfect eyebrows lifted incredulously above her glowing crimson eyes — brighter than any I’d ever seen before.
“几个月？”我大声尖叫。镜子里，那弯形状完美的眉毛微微的抬了一抬，在那之下是一双我从来没见过的，像火焰般燃烧的深绯色的眼睛。
“The eyes?” I whispered, unwilling to say my eyes. “How long?
“这眼睛？”我低语，极不愿意看着自己的眼睛：“这个样子会持续多久？”
Jasper’s brow furrowed, highlighting the two scars over his left eye.
贾斯帕皱了下眉，让他左边眼睛上的伤疤更加明显了。
My eyes would blaze like vicious red flames for months?
就是说，我的眼睛会像邪恶的火焰一样燃烧上几个月？
Jasper took a step forward, alarmed by the intensity of my sudden anxiety. He knew young vampires only too well; did this emotion presage some misstep on my part?
贾斯帕向前迈了一步，怕我被突如其来的强烈焦虑所控制。他太了解新生的吸血鬼了。这焦虑预示着我的失控吗？
“No, I’m fine,” I promised them. My eyes flickered to the stranger in the mirror and back. “It’s just… a lot to take in.”
“别担心，我很好，”我对他们保证道。我的眼睛颤抖着看了一眼镜子里的陌生人：“这只是……只是有点难以接受。”
I considered that for a portion of a second. At any moment, would I snap? Turn into a monster?
我考虑了一会儿，我会在某一时刻，砰地一声变成一个怪物吗？
I couldn’t feel it coming on… Maybe there was no way to anticipate such a thing. “But what do you think?” Alice asked, a little impatient now, pointing to the mirror.
我完全不觉得在将来这会成为现实……可能这个问题真的不会发生吧。“那你自己觉得呢？”爱丽丝问，现在她倒是很有耐心了，指着镜子。
“Controlling your emotions, Bella,” Jasper answered. “I’ve never seen a newborn do that — stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn’t need it.”
“控制你的情绪，贝拉，”贾斯帕回答：“我从来没见过哪个新生儿能做到——制止自己要爆发的情绪，重新取回身体的控制权。我本准备好帮忙的，但你根本不需要。”
The woman in the mirror frowned. “What question did I miss?”
镜子里的女人也皱了下眉毛，“我漏了什么问题吗？”
“Is that wrong?” I asked. My body automatically froze as I waited for his verdict.
“这样不好吗？”我问，身体僵硬着等待着裁决。
“I’m not sure,” I hedged, not wanting to admit how frightened I really was.
“我不是很确定，”我有点答非所问，不想承认我有多害怕。
“No,” he said, but his voice was unsure.
“不是。”他说，但不是很确定。
Edward stroked his hand down my arm, as if encouraging me to thaw. “It’s very impressive, Bella, but we don’t understand it. We don’t know how long it can hold.”
爱德华搂住我的手臂，好让我僵硬的身体放松下来，“这很鼓舞人，贝拉，但是我们不明白也不知道这样能持续多久。”
Edward grinned. “Jasper wonders how you’re doing it.”
爱德华咧嘴一笑，“只是贾斯帕在疑惑你是怎么做到的。”
“Doing what?”
“做到什么？”
“I don’t know,” Edward murmured.
“我不知道，”爱德华低声说。
I stared at the beautiful woman with the terrifying eyes, looking for pieces of me. There was something there in the shape of her lips — if you looked past the dizzying beauty, it was true that her upper lip was slightly out of balance, a bit too full to match the lower. Finding this familiar little flaw made me feel a tiny bit better. Maybe the rest of me was in there, too.
我注视着这有着恐怖双眼的美丽女子，想找到哪怕一处和我相似的地方。她嘴唇的轮廓——如果你忽略那令人炫目的美丽——她的上唇有点过于饱满，跟下唇不是太搭。找到这小瑕疵让我感觉舒服了一些。我想或许剩下的我也隐藏在那里面。
I felt the shock break through the composed mask on my face, followed instantly by the hurt.
我感觉脸上完美的面具破裂了，觉得自己被伤害了。
I raised my hand experimentally, and the woman in the mirror copied the movement, touching her face, too. Her crimson eyes watched me warily.
我试着举了举手，镜子里的女人也做了同样的动作，一起摸了摸自己的脸。她深绯色的双眼警惕的望着我。
“Disappointed?” I asked, my ringing voice impassive.
“有点失望？”我问，伴随着冰冷的铃铛一样的声音。
I turned away from her to look at him, raising one eyebrow.
我转头望着他，抬了抬眉毛。
Edward sighed.
爱德华叹了口气。
But Edward ignored them and wrapped his arms tightly around my newly frozen form, pressing his lips against my cheek. “I was rather hoping that I’d be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own,” he murmured. “And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head.”
但是爱德华完全没理他们，用他的双臂紧紧的搂着我那新的冰冷的身体，嘴唇吻着我的脸颊，“我真想听见你的思想，现在你已经跟我一样了，”他贴着我的脸颊低声抱怨，“但在你这里，我永远都是充满挫败感，这么想知道你脑袋里到底在想什么。”
He laughed. “Yes,” he admitted.
他笑了，“有点，”承认道。
Alice snarled. Jasper leaned forward again, waiting for me to snap.
爱丽丝低吼了一声，贾斯帕前倾着身体防止我下一刻就崩溃了。
Then his face pulled away from mine, and he sighed. “All right, all right,” he said to someone.
然后他抬起头，叹了口气，“好吧，好吧。”他对某人说。
Edward growled in my ear. “Bella, you have never been merely pretty.”
爱德华对着我的耳朵低吼道：“贝拉，对我来说，你从来就不只是漂亮而已。”
“What?” I asked.
“嗯？”我问。
“You’re making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you’ve hunted.”
“你让贾斯帕更担心了现在，我想你打猎后他才会放松一点。”
I felt better at once.
我立即觉得好多了。
“Oh well,” I said lightly, relieved that my thoughts were still my own. “I guess my brain will never work right. At least I’m pretty.”
“嗯，”我轻声说，知道我的思想还是没变让我觉得轻松多了，“我猜我的脑袋从来都不会正常工作，不过至少我现在还挺漂亮的。”
It was becoming easier to joke with him as I adjusted, to think in straight lines. To be myself.
跟他开着玩笑让我感觉好多了，想到什么说什么，还是做回我自己。
“Okay. Let’s hunt,” I agreed, a thrill of nerves and anticipation making my stomach quiver. I unwrapped Edward’s arms from around me, keeping one of his hands, and turned my back on the strange and beautiful woman in the mirror.
“好吧，我们去打猎吧。”我同意了，紧张加上期待让我的胃都开始颤抖了。我从爱德华的怀抱中走出来，拉着他的手，背对着镜子里陌生而美丽的女人。
I looked at Jasper’s worried expression and nodded. I didn’t want to snap here, if that was coming. Better to be surrounded by trees than family.
我望着贾斯帕担忧的表情，然后点点头。我才不想在这里发疯呢。就算以后会，我也宁愿在森林里而不是在家里。
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