We were all at our limits — frenzied into absolute stillness. Carlisle had barely been able to move his lips to explain it all to Jacob. The retelling seemed to make it worse; even Emmett stood silent and still from then on.
我们都处在崩溃的边缘——一动也不能动。卡莱尔只是刚刚好能够蠕动他的嘴唇来给雅各布解释到底发生了什么。但是重复地讲述这种状况让气氛变得更糟，自那以后，甚至连埃美特都僵硬地站着没有动过。
It wasn’t until the sun rose and I knew that Renesmee would soon be stirring under my hands that I wondered for the first time what could possibly be taking Alice so long. I’d hoped to know more before I was faced with my daughter’s curiosity. To have some answers. Some tiny, tiny portion of hope so that I could smile and keep the truth from terrifying her, too.
直到太阳升起，我知道马上蕾妮斯梅就会在我的臂弯里苏醒。我惊异于这头一次花费爱丽丝这么多时间的状况。我衷心的希望我能够了解多一些情况用以面对我可爱女儿的好奇心。我需要些答案，一些有序的，符合逻辑的希望，好让我还能对女儿露出微笑，将骇人的现实藏在身后。
We sat there all night long, statues of horror and grief, and Alice never came back.
我们一直坐着，恐惧不安地僵硬着。爱丽丝整晚都没有回来。
My face felt permanently set into the fixed mask it had worn all night. I wasn’t sure I had the ability to smile anymore.
但是我的脸已经一整晚僵硬在这种恐惧的表情里，甚至不敢确定自己还能不能笑得出来。
Jacob was snoring in the corner, a mountain of fur on the floor, twitching anxiously in his sleep. Sam knew everything — the wolves were readying themselves for what was coming. Not that this preparation would do anything but get them killed with the rest of my family.
雅各布蜷在房间的角落里轻轻打着鼾，像一座覆满深色苔藓的小山，在睡梦中不安的抽搐着。山姆已经知道了发生的一切——狼们对即将到来的东西已经做好了准备。虽然这样做的结果就是和我其他的家人一起被杀害。
The sunlight broke through the back windows, sparkling on Edward’s skin. My eyes had not moved from his since Alice’s departure. We’d stared at each other all night, staring at what neither of us could live through losing: the other. I saw my reflection glimmer in his agonized eyes as the sun touched my own skin.
阳光从后窗户照耀进来，在爱德华的皮肤上四散开。自从爱丽丝离开后我的视线就没有从爱德华身上已开过，我们整晚凝视着彼此，凝视着我们两人谁也不会失去彼此而独自活在世上的现实。在他痛苦的眼睛中，我看到自己在初升的阳光下发出微微的闪光。
The sound of his voice was like ice cracking as it melted. All of us fractured a little, softened a little. Moved again.
他说话的声音好比冰块融化时的碎裂声。这才使我们大家稍微放松了一点，活动起来。
“She’s been gone a long time,” Rosalie murmured, surprised.
“她离开了这么久，”罗莎莉吃惊地喃喃道。
His eyebrows moved an infinitesimal bit, then his lips. “Alice,” he said.
他的眉毛不易察觉地动了一下，然后是他的嘴唇。“爱丽丝，”他说道。
Esme put a hand on her arm. “We don’t want to disturb…”
埃斯梅一只手搭上自己的另一只手臂。“我们并不想让她如此焦虑的…”
“Where could she be?” Emmett wondered, taking a step toward the door.
“她跑哪去了？”埃美特也惊讶着问道，朝门的方向跨了一步。
“She’s never taken so long before,” Edward said. New worry splintered the mask his face had become. His features were alive again, his eyes suddenly wide with fresh fear, extra panic. “Carlisle, you don’t think — something preemptive? Would Alice have had time to see if they sent someone for her?”
“从来没有什么事让她花这么长时间过，”爱德华说着，新的忧虑打破了他僵硬的面部表情，眼睛里充斥着又一种恐惧，另外一种恐慌。“卡莱尔，你想过他们会先发制人吗？比如在爱丽丝有时间搜索未来之前他们就派人去对付她？”
Aro’s translucent-skinned face filled my head. Aro, who had seen into all the corners of Alice’s mind, who knew everything she was capable of —
阿罗那半透明肌肤的脸迅速充斥了我的整个脑袋。他是阿罗，他是了解爱丽丝所恐惧的一切、是清楚知道爱丽丝头脑里每一个角落的人…
Emmett cussed loud enough that Jacob lurched to his feet with a growl. In the yard, his growl was echoed by his pack. My family was already a blur of action.
埃美特响亮地咒骂了一声，雅各布蹒跚着咆哮，接着狼群的吼叫在院子中悲痛地回响。我的家人们立刻就开始采取行动，动作快得只看得到一团模糊地身影。
“I don’t see how,” Edward answered. “But Aro knows her better than anyone else. Better than I do.”
“我不知道这要怎么做到，”爱德华回答。“但也绝对有可能，毕竟阿罗比我们中的任何一个都了解爱丽丝。”
“Stay with Renesmee!” I all but shrieked at Jacob as I sprinted through the door.
“守着蕾妮斯梅！”我朝雅各布厉声吼道，以最快的速度冲出了房门。
I was still stronger than the rest of them, and I used that strength to push myself forward. I overtook Esme in a few bounds, and Rosalie in just a few strides more. I raced through the thick forest until I was right behind Edward and Carlisle.
我仍然比家中的其他人强壮。于是我利用这力量使自己在这茂密的森林里全速奔跑，只是几个跳跃便赶上了埃斯梅，又多跨了几步超过了罗莎莉，赶到爱德华和卡莱尔身后。
“Is this a trap?” Emmett called from behind us.
“这是个陷阱吗？”埃美特在我们身后大声发问。
“Maybe,” Edward said. “There’s no scent but Alice and Jasper. Where were they going?”
“可能，”爱德华说，“但这里除了爱丽丝和贾斯帕没有其他人的气味。他们到底去哪了？”
“Would they have been able to surprise her?” Carlisle asked, his voice as even as if he were standing motionless rather than running at full speed.
“他们可能突袭到她吗？”卡莱尔问道。即使在全速中，他的声音依旧平稳得和站在平地上一样。
Alice and Jasper’s trail was curling into a wide arc; it stretched first east of the house, but headed north on the other side of the river, and then back west again after a few miles. We recrossed the river, all six jumping within a second of each other. Edward ran in the lead, his concentration total.
爱丽丝和贾斯帕的足迹绕了个很大的弧，从房子的东面直到背面河流的对岸，然后又往西绕回几英里。我们在一秒内依次跃过了河。爱德华集中全部精神跑在最前面。
“Keep to the main trail — we’re almost to the Quileute border,” Edward ordered tersely. “Stay together. See if they turned north or south.”
“得跟着足迹走——我们已经快到奎尔尤特人的边界了，”爱德华简明地指示道。“大家尽量集中，观察一下他们到底是往南边还是北边去了。”
“Did you catch that scent?” Esme called ahead a few moments after we’d leaped the river for the second time. She was the farthest back, on the far left edge of our hunting party. She gestured to the southeast.
“你检查过那边了吗？”埃斯梅在我们跳过河的瞬间问道，她在最后面的位置，靠近狩猎场的左边界，手指着东南方。
Then the wolf smell was suddenly stronger, and Edward’s head snapped up. He came to a sudden stop. The rest of us froze, too.
突然狼的气味浓烈了起来。爱德华的动作突然停顿住，我们其他人也僵硬起来。
I was not as familiar with the treaty line as the rest of them, but I could smell the hint of wolf in the breeze blowing from the east. Edward and Carlisle slowed a little out of habit, and I could see their heads sweep from side to side, waiting for the trail to turn.
我不像他们那样清楚那条界线，但我在东边吹来的微风里闻到了狼的气味。爱德华和卡莱尔稍微减了一点速，我看到他们的头转来转去地四处搜寻转向的足迹。
“Sam?” Edward asked in a flat voice. “What is this?”
“山姆？”爱德华平静的问。“发生了什么？”
Sam came through the trees a few hundred yards away, walking quickly toward us in his human form, flanked by two big wolves — Paul and Jared. It took Sam a while to reach us; his human pace made me impatient. I didn’t want time to think about what was happening. I wanted to be in motion, to be doing something. I wanted to have my arms around Alice, to know beyond a doubt that she was safe.
山姆从几码地外的树丛中以人形快步走向我们，两头大狼跟随着——保罗和贾里德。这一路花了不少时间，他人形的慢动作让我们很不耐烦。我不敢去想到底发生了什么，我想要做些事情，我想要用我的双臂保护爱丽丝，我想要确保她绝对安全。
“Right after midnight, Alice and Jasper came to this place and asked permission to cross our land to the ocean. I granted them that and escorted them to the coast myself. They went immediately into the water and did not return. As we journeyed, Alice told me it was of the utmost importance that I say nothing to Jacob about seeing her until I spoke to you. I was to wait here for you to come looking for her and then give you this note. She told me to obey her as if all our lives depended on it.”
“刚过午夜的时候，爱丽丝和贾斯帕来到这，想让我批准他们穿过这片土地到海那边去。我准许了并且亲自护送他们到了海边，到达之后他们就立刻钻进水里不见了。在路上，爱丽丝反复强调让我在见到你之前千万千万不要对雅各布说我看到过她。于是我一直在等你来这找她，给你这个留言条。她叫我一定要按她说的做，因为我们的存活与否就决定于此。”
I watched Edward’s face go absolutely white as he read what Sam was thinking. Sam ignored him, looking straight at Carlisle as he stopped walking and began to speak.
我注视着，爱德华的脸在读山姆的思想时变得惨白。山姆没有在意爱德华的反应，径直走到卡莱尔前和他交谈起来。
Sam’s face was grim as he held out a folded sheet of paper, printed all over with small black text. It was a page out of a book; my sharp eyes read the printed words as Carlisle unfolded it to see the other side. The side facing me was the copyright page from The Merchant of Venice. A hint of my own scent blew off of it as Carlisle shook the paper flat. I realized it was a page torn from one of my books. I’d brought a few things from Charlie’s house to the cottage; a few sets of normal clothes, all the letters from my mother, and my favorite books. My tattered collection of Shakespeare paperbacks had been on the bookshelf in the cottage’s little living room yesterday morning…
山姆一脸坚毅的表情，将一张折叠的纸条递上前来，纸条上印满了黑色的字，是从一本书上扯下来的一页纸。当卡莱尔在读另外一面的时候我的目光敏锐的捕捉到那些印刷字。面对我的那一面上正是印着《威尼斯商人》的片段，当卡莱尔把那张纸抖平时，一股我自己的气味从上面散发出来。我意识到那是我收藏的书中的其中一页。之前我将一些东西从查理那儿搬到了小屋里去，包括几套家居服，妈妈写给我的信，还有我最爱的书。我收藏的破破烂烂的那本莎士比亚的平装书昨天早上还好好的呆在小屋的书架上…
Don’t look for us. There isn’t time to waste. Remember: Tanya, Siobhan, Amun, Alistair, all the nomads you can find. We’ll seek out Peter and Charlotte on our way. We’re so sorry that we have to leave you this way, with no goodbyes or explanations. It’s the only way for us. We love you.
“不要找我们，已经没剩多少时间了。记住，坦尼娅，西博汉，阿蒙，阿利斯泰尔，以及那些零散的，一定要找到所有你们能找到的人。我们会在路上试着找到彼得和夏洛特。对于这样的不告而别我们真的真的很抱歉，这是我们唯一的一条路。我们爱你们。”
Carlisle turned the page around so that we all could read.
卡莱尔将纸翻了个面，好让我们大家都能看到上面的留言。
We stood frozen again, the silence total but for the sound of the wolves’ heartbeats, their breathing. Their thoughts must have been loud, too. Edward was first to move again, speaking in response to what he heard in Sam’s head. “Yes, things are that dangerous.”
我们又一次僵住了，周围一片寂静，只有狼们的心跳和呼吸声，我想如果他们的思考能出声，那一定会更响。爱德华首先恢复活动，他回答山姆脑中的疑问说：“是的。现在的状况非常危险。”
“Alice has decided to leave us,” Carlisle whispered.
“爱丽丝决定离开我们。”卡莱尔无力地说道。
“What?” Rosalie cried.
“什么？”罗莎莉吃惊得大叫出来。
Edward’s expression was stiff — to Sam it probably looked angry or arrogant, but I could see the shape of pain in the hard planes of his face.
相对于山姆的气愤和自负，爱德华的表现显得非常冷淡而平静，但我能看得出他平静表情后的痛苦。
“Enough that you would abandon your family?” Sam asked out loud, censure in his tone. It was clear that he had not read the note before giving it to Carlisle. He was upset now, looking as if he regretted listening to Alice.
“危险到可以抛弃自己的家人而去？”山姆用指责的声音大声问。这说明了在给卡莱尔前他没有偷看过那张纸条。他现在有些激动，甚至仿佛有点后悔听了爱丽丝的话。
Carlisle put a hand on Edward’s shoulder. “We have much to do, son. Whatever Alice’s decision, we would be foolish not to follow her advice now. Let’s go home and get to work.”
卡莱尔轻捏爱德华的肩膀。“我们还有很多事要做，儿子。不管爱丽丝的计划是怎样的，如果我们不按她说的做才真是太蠢了。我们回家吧，马上开始行动。”
Sam’s chin jerked up, and his eyes looked suddenly flat black.
山姆抬起下巴，瞳孔突然晕成黑色。
“Do you?” Sam asked bluntly.
“你就了解了？”山姆直白地反问回去。
“Don’t get your family slaughtered for pride,” Carlisle interjected quietly.
“别因为自负让你的家庭陷入被屠杀的危险中。”卡莱尔平静地补充。
“You don’t know her,” Edward said.
“你不了解她。”爱德华为爱丽丝辩护道。
Sam smiled grimly. “We don’t run away.” Behind him, Paul snorted.
山姆严肃的微笑着说道：“我们不会逃走的。”保罗在他身后不耐烦的哧了下鼻子。
“We would not –” Sam began.
“我们不能……”山姆开始说话。
“You are bound differently than we are,” Edward snapped. “We each still have our free will.”
“你们族群的习惯和我们的不一样，”爱德华打断他。“我们中每一个人都是自由的，有权利做自己想做的事做自己的决定。”
Sam looked at Carlisle with a softer expression. “As Edward pointed out, we don’t have the same kind of freedom that you have. Renesmee is as much as part of our family now as she is yours. Jacob cannot abandon her, and we cannot abandon him.” His eyes flickered to Alice’s note, and his lips pressed into a thin line.
山姆看着卡莱尔，表情稍缓和了一些。“就如爱德华指出的，我们拥有的不同于你们的自由。但蕾妮斯梅，她现在虽然属于你们但也是我们家庭的一部分，雅各布不可能抛弃她，而我们不可能抛弃雅各布。”他的眼睛扫过爱丽丝的纸条，嘴唇抿成一条细线。
“We don’t know what she saw,” Edward said. “Alice is neither unfeeling nor a coward. She just has more information than we do.”
“我们谁也不知道她看到了什么，”爱德华说。“爱丽丝绝不是无情或是胆小懦弱，她只是掌握着比我们更多的信息。”
“But you should heed the warning,” Edward went on. “This is not something you want to involve yourselves in. You can still avoid what Alice saw.”
“你们也应该留意我们的警告提醒，”爱德华继续道。“这不是你们愿意卷入的事件，现在要避开爱丽丝预见的灾难还来得及。”
Edward nodded, his face still rigid with pain. Behind me, I could hear Esme’s quiet, tearless sobs.
爱德华点头，他的脸因痛苦而僵硬。我听到埃斯梅在我身后无泪地悄声抽泣。
I didn’t know how to cry in this body; I couldn’t do anything but stare. There was no feeling yet. Everything seemed unreal, like I was dreaming again after all these months. Having a nightmare.
我不知道要怎么用这个身体哭泣，唯一能做的只是凝视发呆，没有任何知觉。现在发生的一切都那么不真实，就好像只是在这几个月后做的又一个噩梦。
“I’m sorry,” Sam answered. “We shouldn’t have let her through.”
“我很抱歉，”山姆答应道。“我们不该让她从这通过的。”
“You did the right thing,” Carlisle told him. “Alice is free to do what she will. I wouldn’t deny her that liberty.”
“你做的没错，”卡莱尔对他说。“爱丽丝可以做她想做的任何事情，我不会干涉她的自由。”
“Thank you, Sam,” Carlisle said.
“谢谢你，山姆。”卡莱尔说道。
I’d always thought of the Cullens as a whole, an indivisible unit. Suddenly, I remembered that it had not always been so. Carlisle had created Edward, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett; Edward had created me. We were physically linked by blood and venom. I never thought of Alice and Jasper as separate — as adopted into the family. But in truth, Alice had adopted the Cullens. She had shown up with her unconnected past, bringing Jasper with his, and fit herself into the family that was already there. Both she and Jasper had known another life outside the Cullen family. Had she really chosen to lead another new life after she’d seen that life with the Cullens was over?
我一直坚信卡伦一家是一个不可分割的整体，猛然间却认识到事情并不是一直如此。卡莱尔创造了爱德华，埃斯梅，罗莎莉和埃美特，爱德华创造了我。我们因血液和毒液维系在一起。我从没想过爱丽丝和贾斯帕是不同于我们的——只是被这个家庭收养。但事实确是如此，爱丽丝是被卡伦一家收留的，甚至因她带来的贾斯帕和她断裂的过去而显得突兀。难道她真的看到了她与卡伦一家生活的终点，并且因此选择了另一种新生活吗？
“I’m not going down without a fight,” Emmett snarled low under his breath. “Alice told us what to do. Let’s get it done.”
“我不会就这样认输的，”埃美特从嗓中低吼出声。“爱丽丝已经告诉我们该做什么了，那就去做。”
We were doomed, then, weren’t we? There was no hope at all. Not one ray, one flicker that might have convinced Alice she had a chance at our side.
但我们无疑是正在遭受劫数的，没有任何希望，我看不到一丝光线一点点闪烁足以照亮我的希望支撑我的理由，让爱丽丝和我们并肩的理由。
Yes, we all would fight. What else was there? And apparently we would involve others, because Alice had said so before she’d left us. How could we not follow Alice’s last warning? The wolves, too, would fight with us for Renesmee.
是的，我们所有人都会卷入战斗，无一例外。根据爱丽丝走前给我们留下的信息，这个“我们”显然的包含了所有其他人。我们不可能无视爱丽丝最后的提示，狼人们也不可能，他们会为了蕾妮斯梅和我们并肩战斗。
The bright morning air seemed thicker suddenly, blacker, as if physically darkened by my despair.
仿佛连早上清新闪亮的空气也因我的绝望而变得浓重暗淡起来。
The others nodded with determined expressions, and I realized that they were banking on whatever chance Alice had given us. That they were not going to give in to hopelessness and wait to die.
其他人都赞同地点头，我意识到大家的希望都放在爱丽丝给我们留下的机会上。我们绝不会因无望而妥协等死。
I didn’t feel the same resolve the others seemed to feel. Alice knew the odds. She was giving us the only chance she could see, but the chance was too slim for her to bet on it.
我觉得自己无法像其他人那样决心。爱丽丝知道这成功需要多少侥幸，她看到的机会渺茫到她自己都无法将赌注押在上面。
We would fight, they would fight, and we all would die.
我们战斗，他们也战斗，然后所有人都会死。
She nodded forward, toward where she had called Edward’s attention on the way here. While we were racing to save Alice…
她朝脚印的方向点头示意了一下，是我们之前飞奔去救爱丽丝的路上她提醒过爱德华的那个方向…
I felt already beaten as I turned my back on Sam’s critical face and followed Carlisle toward home.
在我背过身去跟着卡莱尔往家的方向奔驰时，我觉得自己已经完全被击溃了。
“It has to be from earlier in the day. It was just Alice, without Jasper,” Edward said lifelessly.
“是今天早些时候的脚印，只有爱丽丝的，没有贾斯帕。”爱德华单调地说。
We ran automatically now, not the same panicked hurry as before. As we neared the river, Esme’s head lifted.
我们只是机械地跑着，虽然不是来时那样的急切恐慌。就在我们靠近河流时，埃斯梅的头偏向一边说道。
“There was that other trail. It was fresh.”
“那儿还有脚印，还是比较新的。”
Esme’s face puckered, and she nodded.
埃斯梅皱起眉头，点了点头。
I drifted to the right, falling a little behind. I was sure Edward was right, but at the same time… After all, how had Alice’s note ended up on a page from my book?
我轻轻跃到他们的右后方观察。我敢肯定爱德华之前的判断没错，但是，爱丽丝为什么一定要撕掉我的书来写那份留言呢？
“Bella?” Edward asked in an emotionless voice as I hesitated.
“贝拉？”当我正在疑惑时，爱德华隐忍着叫我。
Edward’s golden eyes were empty. “It probably just leads back to the house.”
爱德华金色的眼睛空洞着。“这脚印也许只是转回我们的大房子那。”
“I want to follow the trail,” I told him, smelling the light scent of Alice that led away from her earlier flight path. I was new to this, but it smelled exactly the same to me, just minus the scent of Jasper.
“我想跟去看看，”我回答他，吸嗅着与主线索分开的那串脚印散发出的爱丽丝鲜明的气味。这气味是与之前不同的，但对我来说没什么差别，只是少了贾斯帕而已。
At first I thought he would let me go alone, but then, as I moved a few steps away, his blank eyes flickered to life.
起初我以为他会让我独自前去，但在我走了几步后他的眼睛立刻就恢复了生机。
Carlisle nodded, and the others left. I waited until they were out of sight, and then I looked at Edward questioningly.
卡莱尔点头同意，然后和其他人一起离开了。直到他们离开我的视线，我才疑惑的看向爱德华。
“I couldn’t let you walk away from me,” he explained in a low voice. “It hurt just to imagine it.”
“我不能让你离开我，”他低声解释。“只是想象都令我痛苦。”
“Then I’ll meet you there.”
“那我们就大房子见吧。”
“I’ll come with you,” he said quietly. “We’ll meet you at home, Carlisle.”
“我和你一起去，”他平静的说。“那么卡莱尔，我们大房子再见。”
“Let’s hurry,” he said. “Renesmee will be awake.”
“我们赶快吧，”他说道。“蕾妮斯梅就快醒了。”
I understood without more explanation than that. I thought of being divided from him now and realized I would have felt the same pain, no matter how short the separation.
不用再多解释我就完全理解了他。不管分离多么短暂，这种痛苦我是同样不能忍受的。
I nodded, and we were running again.
我点头，然后又开始奔跑。
There was so little time left to be together. I held my hand out to him, and he took it.
剩下的还能在一起的时间实在太短了。我伸出手，爱德华紧紧地握住它。
It was probably a silly thing, to waste the time away from Renesmee just for curiosity’s sake. But the note bothered me. Alice could have carved the note into a boulder or tree trunk if she lacked writing utensils. She could have stolen a pad of Post-its from any of the houses by the highway. Why my book? When did she get it?
就为了好奇心而浪费和蕾妮斯梅一起的时间，这可能真是件蠢事。但那张纸条不停地困扰着我。如果爱丽丝缺少书写的用具她可以将留言刻在树干或大石头上，或者随便从路上的某间房子里偷一片纸，为什么一定是我的书呢？她什么时候弄的？
“Give me just a minute,” I said, pulling my hand free as we got to the door. His forehead creased. “Bella?”
“给我一分钟。”我在进门前说道，然后将手从爱德华的手中脱出来。他的脸又皱了起来。“贝拉？”
Sure enough, the trail led back to the cottage by a circuitous route that stayed far clear of the Cullens’ house and the wolves in the nearby woods. Edward’s brows tightened in confusion as it became obvious where the trail led.
而现在可以肯定的是，那串脚印刻意避开了卡伦家的大房子和狼人所在的森林，迂回着延伸到我们的小屋。当意识到这脚印的所向时，爱德华的脸困惑地皱了起来。
He tried to reason it out. “She left Jasper to wait for her and came here?”
他试图找到原因。“她把贾斯帕留在远处等然后自己到这来了？”
“Please? Thirty seconds.”
“求你了行吗？就30秒。”
We were almost to the cottage now, and I felt uneasy. I was glad to have Edward’s hand in mine, but I also felt as if I should be here alone. Tearing out the page and carrying it back to Jasper was such an odd thing for Alice to do. It felt like there was a message in her action — one I didn’t understand at all. But it was my book, so the message must be for me. If it were something she wanted Edward to know, wouldn’t she have pulled a page from one of his books…?
说着我们就已经接近小屋了，我深刻地觉得这一路很不容易。我很庆幸爱德华一直握着我的手，同时我又矛盾的觉得我似乎应该独自过来。自己跑去撕一页纸然后再拿回来和贾斯帕会合，爱丽丝这样做太古怪了，仿佛这种行为里就隐藏着某种信息——某些我还没领悟的信息。那是我的书，那么这信息就应该是留给我的。如果说她有什么事情想告诉爱德华，为什么她不直接去撕爱德华的书呢…？
I didn’t wait for him to answer. I darted through the door, pulling it shut behind me. I went straight to the bookshelf. Alice’s scent was fresh — less than a day old. A fire that I had not set burned low but hot in the fireplace. I yanked The Merchant of Venice off the shelf and flipped it open to the title page.
我没等他回答就冲了进去然后关上门，径直走向书架。爱丽丝的气味还很新，不到一天的时间。火炉里的火还在旺盛地燃烧着。我从书架上猛地扯出那本《威尼斯商人》然后翻到标题那一页。
“Why are you burning it?”
“那你烧书干什么？”
I stared into the flames. I was the only person in the world who could lie to Edward. Was that what Alice wanted from me? Her last request?
我只是注视着火焰。在这世界上，我可能是唯一一个能对爱德华撒谎的人。难道说这就是爱丽丝想要我做的？她最后的请求？
“Why?”
“为什么？”
“What’s going on, Bella?”
“怎么了，贝拉？”
There, next to the feathered edge left by the torn page, under the words The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare, was a note.
挨着被撕掉的那一页的装饰图案，在莎士比亚写的“威尼斯商人”下面有一条留言。
Destroy this.
“销毁它。”
“She was here. She ripped a page out of my book to write her note on.”
“她确实来过这。她从我的书上撕了一页纸来写那个留言。”
“I don’t know why.”
“我也不知道。”
“I — I –” I frowned, letting all my frustration and pain show on my face. I did not know what Alice was trying to tell me, only that she’d gone to great lengths to keep it from anyone but me. The one person whose mind Edward could not read. So she must want to keep him in the dark, and it was probably for a good reason. “It seemed appropriate.”
“我——我——”我皱起眉头，试图把心中所有的疑惑和痛苦都堆在脸上。我还不知道爱丽丝到底要告诉我什么，但唯一知道的，她避开其他人绕了这么大一个圈就是为了只让我一个人知道这个信息。因为我是唯一一个不会被爱德华看穿思想的人，显然她不想让爱德华知道这个信息，并且有充足的理由，我只有相信她。“这似乎没什么不对。”
When Edward came through the door after only thirteen seconds rather than thirty, I was watching the book burn.
当爱德华在13秒而不是30秒后进屋的时候，我已经在看着这本书燃烧了。
“We don’t know what she’s doing,” he said quietly.
“我们都不知道她现在在做什么。”爱德华平静地说道。
“When we were on the plane to Italy,” I whispered — this was not a lie, except perhaps in context — “on our way to rescue you… she lied to Jasper so that he wouldn’t come after us. She knew that if he faced the Volturi, he would die. She was willing to die herself rather than put him in danger. Willing for me to die, too. Willing for you to die.”
“我们上次做飞机去意大利的时候，”我轻声说——这还不是瞎编的，到目前为止，但接下去就——“我们去救你的路上…她为了不让贾斯帕跟来而对他撒了谎。因为她清楚，如果贾斯帕到了沃尔图里的地盘他就必死无疑。爱丽丝是宁愿自己死也不会让贾斯帕陷入危险的，同样，即使是我会死，又即使是你会死，她都会全力保护贾斯帕。”
Below that was a name and an address in Seattle.
再下面是一个名字和一串在西雅图的地址。
“I don’t believe it,” Edward said. He didn’t say it like he was arguing with me — he said it like he was arguing with himself. “Maybe it was just Jasper in danger. Her plan would work for the rest of us, but he’d be lost if he stayed. Maybe…”
“我不相信。”爱德华回应，但并不像是在和我争辩，更像是在说服他自己。“也许只是贾斯帕有危险而已。也许她的计划对我们是会奏效的，只不过对贾斯帕例外。也许…。”
Edward didn’t answer.
爱德华没有回答。
“She has her priorities,” I said. It made my still heart ache to realize that my explanation did not feel like a lie in any way.
“她只优先考虑她想要优先考虑的东西。”我说。这样尽量逼真地说着谎话，使我石头般的心都痛了起来。
“But would Jasper have gone? Maybe she’s lying to him again.”
“但贾斯帕会走吗？也许她这次又是在骗他。”
“She could have told us that. Sent him away.”
“如果是这样，她会告诉我们的，我们会将贾斯帕送到安全的地方。”
Carlisle and the others had not been idle in our absence. We’d been separated from them for all of five minutes, and they were already prepared to leave. In the corner, Jacob was human again, with Renesmee on his lap, both of them watching us with wide eyes.
在我们离开的5分钟里卡莱尔和其他人并没有闲着，他们已经准备好要出发了。雅各布恢复了人形呆在房间的角落，蕾妮斯梅坐在他的腿上，两双眼睛都睁大了盯着我们。
“Maybe,” I pretended to agree. “We should go home. There’s no time.”
“也许吧，”我假装同意。“我们该回去了。没多少时间了。”
Edward took my hand, and we ran.
爱德华牵起我的手，奔跑起来。
Alice’s note did not make me hopeful. If there were any way to avoid the coming slaughter, Alice would have stayed. I couldn’t see another possibility. So it was something else she was giving me. Not a way to escape. But what else would she think that I wanted? Maybe a way to salvage something? Was there anything I could still save?
爱丽丝的信息没有给我多少希望。如果真的有什么办法能够阻止这场灾难的发生，爱丽丝就绝对不会离开。我想不出其他的可能性，所以，她给我的信息应该并不是什么避免灾难的方法。那她会觉得我现在还需要什么呢？也许是挽救某东西的办法，但我现在还能挽救什么？
Rosalie had traded her silk wrap dress for a sturdy-looking pair of jeans, running shoes, and a button-down shirt made of the thick weave that backpackers used for long trips. Esme was dressed similarly. There was a globe on the coffee table, but they were done looking at it, just waiting for us.
罗莎莉已经将她的丝缎连衣裙换成了很结实的牛仔裤、跑鞋和一件长途跋涉用的结实衬衫。埃斯梅也换上了类似的装扮。所有人都在盯着咖啡桌上的圆形花瓶等我们。
The atmosphere was more positive now than before; it felt good to them to be in action. Their hopes were pinned on Alice’s instructions.
现在的气氛比之前好了很多，终于能够有所行动大概让他们感觉好了很多。他们的希望都完全寄托在爱丽丝的提议上。
I looked at the globe and wondered where we were headed first.
我也看着地球仪，猜想我们的第一个目的地是哪。
“Alice said that we would have to show people Renesmee, and we would have to be careful about it,” Carlisle said. “We’ll send whomever we can find back here to you — Edward, you’ll be the best at fielding that particular minefield.”
“爱丽丝让我们向人们展示蕾妮斯梅的不同之处，对此我们必须得小心，”卡莱尔说。“我们会让所有我们能找到的人来这见你——爱德华，你正是这个特殊“雷区”的负责人。”
“We’re splitting up,” Emmett answered. “Rose and I are hunting for nomads.”
“我们分头行动，”埃美特解释道。“罗莎莉和我要去找那些零散的。”
“We’re to stay here?” Edward asked, looking at Carlisle. He didn’t sound happy.
“要我们留在这？”爱德华看着卡莱尔问道，听起来不怎么高兴。
“You’ll have your hands full here,” Carlisle said. “Tanya’s family will be here in the morning, and they have no idea why. First, you have to persuade them not to react the way Irina did. Second, you’ve got to find out what Alice meant about Eleazar. Then, after all that, will they stay to witness for us? It will start again as the others come — if we can persuade anyone to come in the first place.” Carlisle sighed. “Your job may well be the hardest. We’ll be back to help as soon as we can.”
“你会忙得手忙脚乱的，”卡莱尔说。“坦尼娅一家明天早上就会过来，是被蒙在鼓里的。记住你要做的事，第一，你得说服他们不要像伊琳娜那样反应激烈。第二，你得搞清楚爱丽丝提到以利亚撒到底是什么意思。然后最后，你得确定他们愿不愿意留下来当我们的见证者。其他人来的时候也是同样——好吧，前提是我们能说服他们过来。”卡莱尔叹气道。“你的工作将会是最最困难的。我们会尽快赶回来帮忙的。”
Edward gave one sharp nod, still not happy. “There’s a lot of ground to cover.”
爱德华了解地点了点头，但还是不怎么高兴。“你们有很多地方要去。”
“And to you,” Carlisle said. “We’ll all need it.”
“你们也是，”卡莱尔回答。“我们大家都需要好运。”
Renesmee twisted in Jacob’s arms to touch his cheek.
蕾妮斯梅蜷在雅各布的臂弯里，伸出手碰触他的脸颊。
Carlisle put his hand on Edward’s shoulder for a second and then kissed my forehead. Esme hugged us both, and Emmett punched us both on the arm. Rosalie forced a hard smile for Edward and me, blew a kiss to Renesmee, and then gave Jacob a parting grimace.
卡莱尔把手放在爱德华肩膀上一秒钟，亲了一下我的额头。埃斯梅给了我们两一个拥抱，埃美特用拳头使劲儿捶了下我们的胳膊。罗莎莉勉强对我们挤出了个微笑，给了蕾妮斯梅一个吻，然后对雅各布做了个临行鬼脸。
“Good luck,” Edward told them.
“祝你们好运。”爱德华说。
“I don’t know if Carlisle’s friends will come. I hope so. Sounds like we’re a little outnumbered right now,” Jacob murmured to Renesmee.
“我不知道卡莱尔的朋友们会不会来。当然我希望他们会。看起来我们现在没什么事儿做。”他对蕾妮斯梅小声回答道。
So she knew. Renesmee already understood only too clearly what was going on. The whole imprinted werewolf gives the object of his imprinting whatever she wants thing was getting old pretty fast. Wasn’t shielding her more important than answering her questions?
这么说来，蕾妮斯梅已经知道了接下来会发生什么。那个什么“被烙印的狼人会满足烙印者所有的要求”的破习性让事情发展的快得超乎我的想象。现在这种状况下，保护蕾妮斯梅难道不比回答她的问题更重要吗？
I watched them leave, wishing I could feel whatever hope bolstered them, and wishing I could be alone with the computer for just a few seconds. I had to figure out who this J. Jenks person was and why Alice had gone to such lengths to give his name to only me.
我看着他们离开，希望我能从他们身上得到哪怕一点点信心。还有希望我能和我的电脑独处几秒。我需要搞清楚那个J。詹克斯到底是谁，为什么爱丽丝会把他的名字告诉我，而且是只告诉我。
“No, we can’t help; we’ve got to stay here,” he went on. “People are coming to see you, not the scenery.”
“不，我们帮不上什么忙。我们得留在这，”他接下去说。“人们来看的是你，不是看风景。”
I looked carefully at her face. She did not look frightened, only anxious and very serious as she conversed with Jacob in her silent way.
我小心翼翼地观察她的神情。她看起来并不怎么害怕，只是被和雅各布的对话内容弄得有一点严肃和焦虑，并且以她特有的方式沉默着。
“No, I don’t have to go anywhere,” he said to her. Then he looked at Edward, his face stunned by the realization that he might be wrong. “Do I?”
“不，我哪都不用去。”他对她说，然而抬起头看着爱德华后他突然意识到并不是如此。“我也得走？”
Renesmee frowned at him.
蕾妮斯梅不高兴地冲他皱着眉头。
Edward hesitated.
爱德华犹豫了。
“Spit it out,” Jacob said, his voice raw with tension. He was right at his breaking point, just like the rest of us.
“说出来吧。”雅各布说，他的声音脆弱地紧绷着。他和我们一样，已经处在崩溃的边缘了。
“The vampires who are coming to help us are not the same as we are,” Edward said. “Tanya’s family is the only one besides ours with a reverence for human life, and even they don’t think much of werewolves. I think it might be safer –“
“来帮助我们的那些吸血鬼和我们是不一样的。”爱德华说道。“坦尼娅一家是唯一因为对人类生命的尊重而和我们志同道合的伙伴，但即使是他们，对狼人也没有什么好感。为了更安全一些——”
“Safer for Renesmee,” Edward continued, “if the choice to believe our story about her is not tainted by an association with werewolves.”
“我是说为了让蕾妮斯梅更安全些，”爱德华继续说道，“我不想他们在做出是否要相信我们的故事的决定时还要受到‘和狼人有密切联系’这个问题的影响。”
“Some friends. They’d turn on you just because of who you hang out with now?”
“就说是你们的朋友就行啦。难道他们会因为你和某人住在一起就和你打起来？”
“I can take care of myself,” Jacob interrupted.
“我能照顾好自己。”雅各布打断他。
“You can’t imagine the depth of the scars they’ve left in the collective vampire psyche.”
“你想象不出那些吸血鬼对这种它们有多么恐惧。”
Carlisle had explained the laws about immortal children to Jacob last night. “The immortal children were really that bad?” he asked.
卡莱尔昨天晚上已经向雅各布解释过有关禁忌的吸血鬼小孩的事情。“那些禁忌的孩子真的那么糟糕？”他问。
“I think they would mostly be tolerant under normal circumstances. But you need to understand — accepting Nessie will not be a simple thing for any of them. Why make it even the slightest bit harder?”
“我想如果保持距离的话他们还是可以容忍的。但是你要了解的是——对他们任何一人来说，接受内希都绝对不是件容易的事。既然如此，我们为什么还要使本来就困难的事情变得更困难呢？”
“I can do that. Company in the morning, huh?”
“好吧我照做。明早的朋友哈？”
“Edward…” It was still odd to hear Jacob use Edward’s name without bitterness.
“爱德华…”雅各布这种毫无讽刺的语气叫着爱德华名字的场景直到现在还是很古怪。
“I know, Jake. I know how hard it is to be away from her. We’ll play it by ear — see how they react to her. In any case, Nessie is going to have to be incognito off and on in the next few weeks. She’ll need to stay at the cottage until the right moment for us to introduce her. As long as you keep a safe distance from the main house…”
“我理解你，杰克。我知道要你离开她有多痛苦。我们会见机行事的——看他们对她的反应如何。如果发生意外的话，我们不得不在接下来的几星期里都把蕾妮斯梅藏在小屋里，只在要向别人介绍她的时候才带出来。但是只要你与大房子保持一定安全的距离的话…”
“Yes. The closest of our friends. In this particular case, it’s probably better if we get things out in the open as soon as possible. You can stay here. Tanya knows about you. She’s even met Seth.”
“是的。我们最亲密的朋友。我认为在这种特殊情况下，开门见山的说比较好。明早你可以留在这，坦尼娅知道你，她还见过塞思。”
“Listening to Alice is usually the right thing.”
“听爱丽丝的总没错。”
“Good point. Though I owe him some silence after last night.”
“好点子。虽然我知道在昨晚的事情后他宁愿我安静些。”
“Right.”
“对。”
“You should tell Sam what’s going on. There might be strangers in the woods soon.”
“你应该告诉山姆接下来的情况。森林里马上就会来很多陌生人。”
While they were talking, I wandered toward the back windows, trying to look distracted and anxious. Not a difficult thing to do. I leaned my head against the wall that curved away from the living room toward the dining room, right next to one of the computer desks. I ran my fingers against the keys while staring into the forest, trying to make it look like an absentminded thing. Did vampires ever do things absentmindedly? I didn’t think anyone was paying particular attention to me, but I didn’t turn to make sure. The monitor glowed to life. I stroked my fingers across the keys again. Then I drummed them very quietly on the wooden desktop, just to make it seem random. Another stroke across the keys.
当他们讲话时，我恍惚地盯着窗外，努力使自己看起来焦虑不安，这并不是件难事。我把头斜靠在隔开餐厅和客厅的墙上，正好就在电脑桌的旁边，眼睛注视着森林，手假装无意地拂过键盘。我不知道吸血鬼是否也会做一些无意的事，至少现在没人注意我，虽然我也不能肯定。电脑的显示器开了。我再次将手在键盘上拂过，然后在木质的桌子上轻轻地敲了几下，让动作看起来很随意。然后又拂了一次。
Jacob’s teeth ground together, and I could see that he shared Sam’s feelings about what Alice and Jasper had done.
说的时候雅各布的牙齿紧紧咬在一起，我敢说他已经在那个狼群信息网里听到山姆对爱丽丝和贾斯帕事情的那些看法了。
I scanned the screen in my peripheral vision.
我用眼角的余光来浏览屏幕上显示的内容。
Renesmee reached for me, and I held my arms open. She launched herself into them, smelling strongly of werewolf, and nestled her head against my neck.
蕾妮斯梅走到我身边，投进我张开的怀抱，把浓重的狼人味道和她的小小脑袋塞进我的颈窝里。
No J. Jenks, but there was a Jason Jenks. A lawyer. I brushed the keyboard, trying to keep a rhythm, like the preoccupied stroking of a cat you’d all but forgotten on your lap. Jason Jenks had a fancy website for his firm, but the address on the homepage was wrong. In Seattle, but in a different zip code. I noted the phone number and then stroked the keyboard in rhythm. This time I searched the address, but nothing at all came up, as if the address didn’t exist. I wanted to look at a map, but I decided I was pushing my luck. One more brush, to delete the history…
没有J。詹克斯，只有一个杰森詹克斯。一个律师。我继续“抚摸”键盘，试着让声音听起来有规律一些，就好像是下意识却又全神贯注地抚摸一只趴在腿上的猫。杰森詹克斯的公司有一个很别致的网页，但主页上的地址不对。位置是西雅图，却不是那个邮编。我记下了上面的联系电话，然后又轻轻敲了几下键盘。这次我搜索的是那个地址，但什么都没搜出来，好像这地址压根不存在似的。我还想看一下地图，但我觉得自己大概没那么多运气了。然后最后一次轻触键盘，消除历史记录…
I didn’t know if I could stand this. As much as I feared for my life, for Edward’s, for the rest of my family’s, it was not the same as the gut-wrenching terror I felt for my daughter. There had to be a way to save her, even if that was the only thing I could do.
我不知道自己能否忍受这种恐惧。我对我自己生命的担心，对爱德华生命的担心，对我其他家人生命的担心，都不像我对女儿这样肝肠寸断的担心恐怖。我知道一定要找出能救她的方法，即使这是我唯一能做的事。
I continued staring out the window and brushed the wood a few times. I heard light footsteps crossing the floor to me, and I turned with what I hoped was the same expression as before.
我继续注视着窗外盯着树林看了一会儿。我听见有脚步声朝我这边来，然后我摆好事先已想好的表情转身面对她。
Suddenly, I knew that this was all I wanted anymore. The rest I would bear if I had to, but not her life being forfeited. Not that.
突然间，我明白了自己唯一想要的到底是什么。只要她的生命不受到威胁，其他什么我都可以忍受。只要能让她不受到伤害。
She was the one thing I simply had to save.
她是我唯一要挽救的东西。
Renesmee’s hand touched my cheek lightly.
蕾妮斯梅的小手轻轻的放到我的脸颊上。
She showed me my own face, Edward’s, Jacob’s, Rosalie’s, Esme’s, Carlisle’s, Alice’s, Jasper’s, flipping through all our family’s faces faster and faster. Seth and Leah. Charlie, Sue, and Billy. Over and over again. Worrying, like the rest of us were. She was only worrying, though. Jake had kept the worst from her as far as I could tell. The part about how we had no hope, how we all were going to die in a month’s time.
她向我展示我自己的脸，爱德华的，雅各布的，罗莎莉的，埃斯梅的，卡莱尔的，爱丽丝的，贾斯帕的，我们家所有人的脸都在我的脑海中循环播放着，一遍又一遍。她像我们所有人一样担心。还好她只是在担心。看来杰克没有告诉她我所知道的最糟糕的那部分情况，关于我们几乎没有希望，我们可能会在一个月内死去的那一部分。
Would Alice have known how I would feel?
爱丽丝已经预见到我会这样想了吗？
She settled on Alice’s face, longing and confused. Where was Alice?
她将画面停在爱丽丝的脸那里，渴望并困惑。爱丽丝去哪儿了？
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “But she’s Alice. She’s doing the right thing, like always.”
“我不知道。”我轻声说。“但她是爱丽丝呀，不用担心，她总是在做正确的事。”
The right thing for Alice, anyway. I hated thinking of her that way, but how else could the situation be understood?
或是，她认为的正确的事。我讨厌从这种角度看待她，但从现在的状况来说又别无解释。
“I miss her, too.” I said.
“我也想念她。”我说。
Renesmee sighed, and the longing intensified.
蕾妮斯梅轻轻叹气，对爱丽丝的渴望更强了。
Renesmee pulled back to look at me, and I saw my face mirrored in her thoughts and in her eyes. I looked like Esme had this morning.
蕾妮斯梅抬起头看向我，从她的眼睛和思想里我看到自己的脸。我现在的表情就和早上那时的埃斯梅一模一样。
So this was what it felt like to cry.
像是在哭泣。
I felt my face working, trying to find the expression that went with the grief inside. My eyes felt strange and dry; they blinked against the uncomfortable feeling. I bit my lip. When I took my next breath, the air hitched in my throat, like I was choking on it.
我试着做出一种可以把痛苦藏得深深的表情，感觉到我的脸终于又属于我自己了。我的眼睛陌生而干燥，它们以一种不舒服的方式空洞着。我抿了下嘴唇然后吸气，吸进的空气一下子冲击了我的肺，我才发现自己一直都在窒息。
I’d never thought to see the mother-daughter bond reversed between us, the way it had always been for Renee and me. But I hadn’t had a very clear view of the future.
我从来没想到过会体会到像我和勒妮那样的有些颠倒的母女关系，但现在的我对未来实在没有任何把握。
“Don’t cry,” I told her. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be fine. I will find you a way through this.”
“别哭，”我对她说。“一切会好的。你会没事的。我不会让你有事的。”
A tear welled up on the edge of Renesmee’s eye. I wiped it away with a kiss. She touched her eye in amazement and then looked at the wetness on her fingertip.
一滴眼泪从蕾妮斯梅的眼角滑下，我低头吻去它。她惊讶地用手摸了摸眼睛，看着那沾在指尖的点点潮湿。
If there was nothing else I could do, I would still save my Renesmee. I was more positive than ever that this was what Alice would give me. She would know. She would have left me a way.
即使我什么也做不到，我还是会拼了命去救我的蕾妮斯梅。我觉得自己比之前积极了很多，因为爱丽丝给我的机会。她知道的，所以她给我指引了一条道路。
Renesmee’s eyes glistened wetly as she watched my face. She stroked my face, showing me nothing, just trying to soothe me.
蕾妮斯梅的眼睛湿湿的。她轻抚我的脸颊，没有向我展示什么画面，只是想要安慰我。
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