If it was anyone but Jacob, I though to myself, shaking my head as I drove down the forest-lined highway to La Push.
我开车前往拉普西，路旁是茂密的森林。我摇摇头，暗自思考，如果不是雅各布，把该多好啊。
I still wasn’t sure if I was domg the right thing, but I’d made a compromise with myself.
我仍不确定自己这样做到底对不对，但我还有理由去见见他。
I couldn’t condone what Jacob and his friends, his pack, were doing. I understood now what he’d said last night — that I might not want to see him again — and I could have called him as he’d suggested, but that felt cowardly. I owed him a face-to-face conversation, at least. I would tell him to his face that I couldn’t just overlook what was going on. I couldn’t be friends with a killer and say nothing, let the killing continue… That would make me a monster, too.
我不能饶恕雅各布和他的朋友的所作所为。现在我终于明白他昨晚说的话——也许再也不想见他——我可以像他说的那样打个电话，但那是胆小鬼的行为。至少，我欠他一次面对面的交谈，我要当面对他说我不会对发生的一切不闻不问。我不可能和杀人凶手交朋友、放任他们胡作非为、让杀人案无休止地发生不然，我同残忍的怪兽又有什么两样？
But I couldn’t not warn him, either. I had to do what I could to protect him.
但是，我不可能不去警告他，我要尽我所能地保护他。
The house was dark, no lights in the windows, but I didn’t care if I woke them. My fist thudded against the front door with angry energy; the sound reverberated through the walls.
屋子里漆黑一片，没有灯光，但我不在乎把他们从睡梦中唤醒，我怒气冲冲地用拳头捶打着大门，声音在屋子里回响。
I pulled up to the Blacks’ house with my lips pressed together into a hard line. It was bad enough that my best friend was a werewolf. Did he have to be a monster, too?
我在布莱克家门口停住车，紧紧地抿着双唇。我最好的朋友是狼人，这已经让人无法接受，难道他就不能做个善良的狼人吗？
“Come in,” I heard Billy call after a minute, and a light flicked on.
“进来。”一分钟后我听到比利的喊声，里面亮起一盏灯。
“Um… I don’t really know,” he lied, straight-faced.
“恩我不知道。”他显然在撒谎。
“Well, good morning, Bella. What are you doing up so early?”
“早上好，贝拉，这么早有什么事吗？”
“So I’d like to talk to Jake about that, if you don’t mind,” I continued.
“所以我想和杰克谈谈这个问题，如果你不介意的话，”我继续说。
“Hey, Billy. I need to talk to Jake — where is he?”
“嘿，比利，我要和杰克谈谈——他在哪儿？”
I twisted the knob; it was unlocked. Billy was leaning around an open doorway just off the little kitchen, a bathrobe around his shoulders, not in his chair yet. When he saw who it was, his eyes widened briefly, and then his face turned stoic.
我转动门把，门没锁。比利没有坐在轮椅上，而是倚靠在厨房的门口，肩上搭着一条浴巾，他看到进来的人是我，一下子瞪大了眼睛，但很快恢复了平常的漠然。
Billy’s expression flickered, and then went blank.
比利的脸上闪过短暂的讶异。
“Do you know what Charlie is doing this morning?” I demanded, sick of the stalling.
“你知道查理今天早上去干吗了吗？”我为他的遮遮掩掩感到恼怒。
“He and half the other men in town are all out in the woods with guns, hunting giant wolves.”
“他和镇上一半的男人都到森林里去了，带着枪，去抓那群巨狼。”
“Should I?”
“我怎么知道？”
Billy pursed his thick lips for a long moment. “I’d bet he’s still asleep,” he finally said, nodding toward the tiny hallway off the front room. “He’s out late a lot these days. Kid needs his rest — probably you shouldn’t wake him.”
比利撅着嘴，过了好久才说：“我想他还在睡觉。”他朝狭窄的走廊点点头，“最近今天他都很晚才回来，这孩子需要休息——也许你不应该叫醒他。”
“It’s my turn,” I muttered under my breath as I stalked to the hallway. Billy sighed.
“轮到我打扰他休息了。”我嘟囔道，怒冲冲地朝走廊走去，比利叹了口气。
Jacob’s tiny closet of a room was the only door in the yard-long hallway. I didn’t bother to knock. I threw the door open; it slammed against the wall with a bang.
雅各布的卧室是个狭小的储藏室，是一码长的走廊上唯一的房间。我没敲门，狠狠地将门推开，房门撞到墙上发出呯的响声。
Jacob — still wearing just the same black cut-off sweats he’d worn last night — was stretched diagonally across the double bed that took up all of his room but a few inches around the edges. Even on a slant, it wasn’t long enough; his feet hung off the one end and his head off the other. He was fast asleep, snoring lightly with his mouth hanging open. The sound of the door hadn’t even made him twitch.
雅各布还穿着昨晚那套黑色的运动服——斜躺在双人床上。这张床占据了房间的大部分空间，床边和墙壁之间留着一点空隙。尽管他是斜躺着，但床还是不够长，他的头和脚都撑到了床外……他睡得正熟，张着嘴巴，微微地打鼾，根本没听到房门撞击墙壁的声响。
I stepped back out, and shut the door quietly behind me.
我退了出来，轻轻地关上身后的房门。
His face was peaceful with (deep sleep, all the angry lines smoothed out. There were circles under his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before. Despite his ridiculous size, he looked very young now, and very weary. Pity shook me.
他的脸在沉睡中显得特别平静，愤怒时显出来的皱纹没有了。我从没注意到他的眼睛下有黑眼圈。虽然他身材高大魁梧，但现在看上去很年幼、很疲倦，我的心一下子软下来。
Billy stared with curious, guarded eyes as I walked slowly back into the front room.
比利好奇而警惕地盯着我走回到客厅。
“Sure, sure,” Billy agreed.
“当然，当然。”比利满口答应。
Billy nodded, and then we gazed at each other for a minute. I was dying to ask him about his part in this. What did he think of what his son had become? But I knew how he’d supported Sam from the very beginning, and so I supposed the murders must not bother him. How he justified that to himself I couldn’t imagine.
比利点点头，我们注视着前方，我很想质问他在整件事中承担的责任，他对儿子的变化有什么想法呢？但是，我知道他从一开始就站在山姆那边，对于杀人犯他一定也不以为然，我无法想象他如何能够坦然面对这件事。
“I think I’ll let him get some rest.”
“我还是让他多休息一会儿吧。”
I wondered if he really would. Well, if he didn’t, I’d tried, right?
我对他的回答表示怀疑。管他呢，如果他不告诉雅各布，我就再来一趟这里。
I drove down to First Beach and parked in the empty dirt lot. It was still dark — the gloomy predawn of a cloudy day — and when I cut the headlights it was hard to see. I had to let my eyes adjust before I could find the path that led through the tall hedge of weeds. It was colder here, with the wind whipping off the black water, and I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my winter jacket. At least the rain had stopped.
我把车开到第一海滩，停在空无一人的泥地上。天还是灰蒙蒙的——阴天天亮前的阴郁——我关了车灯，几乎什么也看不见。我的眼睛逐渐适应了四周的黑暗，在杂草丛生的荒地上寻找道路。海滩边很冷，海风一阵阵刮过来，我把手塞进外套口袋，所幸的是雨已经停了。
“Look,” I said, breaking the loud silence. “I’ll be down at the beach for a while. When he wakes up, tell him I’m waiting for him, okay?”
“好吧，”我打破了沉默，“我到海滩去待一会儿。如果他醒了，告诉他我在等他，好吗？”
I could see many questions for me in his dark eyes, but he didn’t voice them either.
我从他的眼神中看出他有很多问题想问我，但是他也没有吱声。
Seeing Jacob like that — innocent and vulnerable in sleep — had stolen all my revulsion, dissolved all my anger. I still couldn’t turn a blind sye to what was happening, like Billy seemed to, but I couldn’t condemn Jacob for it either. Love didn’t work that way, I decided. Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore. Jacob was my friend whether he killed people or not. And I didn’t know what I was going to do about that.
回想起雅各布的模样——熟睡时无辜、柔弱的模样——我的憎恶和愤怒全都烟消云散了。我不能像比利一样对发生的一切视而不见，但我也不能将所有的过错都怪罪到雅各布身上。爱不是这个样子的，如果你在乎一个人，就没有办法理性地对待他的所作所为。不管雅各布有没有杀人，他始终都是我的朋友，我自己也不清楚应该如何是好。
I found what I was looking for before I realized I was looking for it. It materialized out of the gloom when it was just a few feet away: a long bone-white driftwood tree stranded deep on the rocks. The roots twisted up at the seaward end, like a hundred brittle tentacles. I couldn’t be sure that it was the same tree where Jacob and I had had our first conversation — a conversation that had begun so many different, tangled threads of my life — but it seemed to be in about the same place I sat down where I’d sat before, and stared out across the invisible sea.
终于到了，我没意识到自己是在寻找这个地方。在不远处的昏暗之中，它朦胧可见：一棵高大、灰白的浮木深深插入岩石地中，朝向大海的树根纠结在一起，好像无数脆弱的触角。我不确定这就是雅各布和我第一次交谈的地方——从那次谈话以后，我的生活发生了翻天覆地的变化，变得错综复杂——但是，大概就是在这附近。我在我曾经坐过的地方坐下，望着若隐若现的大海。
I paced down the beach toward the north seawall. I couldn’t see St. James or the other islands, just the vague shape of the water’s edge. I picked my way carefully across the rocks, watching out for driftwood that might trip me.
我沿着海滩向北面的海堤走去。我望不见圣詹姆斯和其他岛屿，只能隐隐约约地看到海上的波浪。我小心翼翼地穿过岩石，生怕被浮木绊倒。
Illogical or not, I brooded over the memory his peaceful face, trying to come up with some answer, some way to shelter him, while the sky slowly turned gray.
不管理性与否，我完全沉浸在对他的回忆之中，也许想着他那张安宁的脸庞，就能想出庇护他的法子。天这时渐渐亮起来。
When I pictured him sleeping so peacefully, I felt an overpowering urge to protect him. Completely illogical.
一想到他安然沉睡的样子，我就有一股要保护他的强烈冲动，我就完全失去理性。
“Hi, Bella.”
“嗨，贝拉。”
Jacob’s voice came from the darkness and made me jump. It was soft, almost shy, but I’d been expecting some forewarning from the noisy rocks, and so it still startled me. I could see his silhouette against the coming sunrise — it looked enormous.
灰暗中传来雅各布的声音，我吓了一跳。他的声音温柔，甚至带有一丝羞怯，但他靠进时没发出一点声响，着实吓坏了我。借着日出前的光亮，我看见了他的轮廓——高达壮实。
It was quiet for a long moment and, though it was still too dark to see well, my skin prickled as if his eyes were searching my face. There must have been enough light for him to read my expression, because when he spoke again, his voice was suddenly acidic.
我们沉默了许久，尽管四周很暗，什么也看不清楚，但我觉得他似乎在仔细观察着我的脸色。我感到浑身不自在，针刺般的难受。他一定是看清楚了我的表情，因为他再次开口说话时，声音变得尖酸。
“Jake?”
“杰克？”
He stood several paces away, shifting his weight from foot to foot anxiously.
他在离我几步远的地方，紧张地交替着双脚站立。
“Billy told me you came by — didn’t take you very long, did it? I knew you could figure it out.”
“比利告诉我你去过家里——没花你多长时间，对吗？我就知道你会猜出来的。”
“Yeah, I remember the right story now,” I whispered.
“是的，我记起来了。”我轻声说道。
“What? It’s just a fact.”
“怎么了，这只是事实。”
My voice was pale with revulsion. “How can you… feel that way? You know these people. Charlie’s out there!” The thought made my stomach twist.
强烈的憎恶又涌上心头，我冷冷地说：“你怎么能这样想？你认识这些人，查理也在其中！”一想到这一点，我的胃里就一阵不舒服。
“Jake, they’ve got guns! They’re setting traps and offering rewards and –“
“杰克，他们有枪！他们设了陷阱，还提供了奖金，还——”
“I thought it would be better face-to-face.”
“我想，面对面地谈谈会更好。”
“Why did you come?” he demanded, not halting his angry stride.
“那你为什么还来找我？”他问道，没有停下怒冲冲的脚步。
“Don’t worry about it?” I demanded in disbelief.
“不用担心？”我不相信自己的耳朵。
“We can take care of ourselves,” he growled, still pacing. “They’re not going to catch anything. They’re only making it more difficult — they’ll start disappearing soon enough, too.”
“我们能照顾好自己，”他愤愤地说，仍朝我走着，“他们什么也抓不到，他们只会让事情越来越糟——不久，他们自己也会失踪。”
I nodded. “I know.”
我点点头：“我知道。”
“About the rangers and the hunters? Don’t worry about it. We already know.”
“关于护林员还有那些狩猎人？不用担心，我们已经知道了。”
“Jake!” I hissed.
“杰克！”我叫道。
He snorted. “Oh, much better.”
他哼了一声：“好得多。”
Jacob started pacing along the rocks. If I listened very hard, I could just hear the gentle brush of his feet on the rocks behind the sound of the waves. The rocks had clattered like castanets for me.
雅各布朝我走过来。我竖起耳朵听他的动静，在海浪声下，只微微听见他轻触岩石地的脚步声。而刚才我走过的时候，岩石地就像响板一样嘎嗒作响。
“Jacob, I have to warn you –“
“雅各布，我得警告你——”
“You could have just called,” he said harshly.
“你可以打个电话过来。”他粗鲁地说道。
“Could you… well, try to not be a… werewolf?” I suggested in a whisper.
“你能不能……不要做……狼人？”我低声地试探道。
He threw his hands up in the air. “Like I have a choice about it!” he shouted. “And how would that help anything, if you’re worried about people disappearing?”
我抬起一只手，“我别无选择！”他说道，“既然你担心人们失踪，我不做狼人就能解决问题吗？”
“Ugh!” he groaned, pressing his trembling fists to his temples and squeezing his eyes shut. “Would you listen to yourself?”
“啊！”他痛苦地呻吟着，颤抖的双拳使劲按住太阳穴，眼睛紧紧地闭着，“你能听听自己说的话吗？”
The sun turned the clouds a slivery pink above us. I could see his expression now; it was angry, frustrated, betrayed.
太阳出来了，我们头顶的云彩被染成了粉色的彩带。我能清楚地看到他的表情，他的脸上写满了愤怒、失落，似乎遭人背叛。
He came to an abrupt stop. “What more can we do?” he retorted.
他突然停住了脚步。“我们还能做什么？”他反问道。
“Hypocrite? How does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?”
“伪君子？！我被怪兽吓倒，这也算伪君子？”
“You’re such a hypocrite, Bella — there you sit, terrified of me! How is that fair?” His hands shook with anger.
“你真是个伪君子，贝拉——你坐在那里，被我吓倒！这样公平吗？”他的手抖得厉害。
He took two steps toward me, leaning over me and glaring with fury. “Well, I’m so sorry that I can’t be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I’m just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?”
他朝我走了两步，俯下身子，恶狠狠地盯着我。“好吧，抱歉，我不是那种适合你的怪物，贝拉。我没有吸血鬼那么伟大，对吗？”
“I don’t understand you.”
“我不明白你的意思。”
“What?”
“什么？”
He glared at me, his eyes narrowing and his mouth twisting into a snarl. “You know what makes me so mad I could just spit?”
他怒视着我。眯着眼睛，大声吼道：“你知道是什么让我愤怒到恨不得破口大骂吗？”
I flinched away from his hostile expression. He seemed to be waiting for an answer, so I shook my head.
我被他充满敌意的样子怔住了。他似乎在等我的答案，我摇了摇头。
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He roared, his entire frame quivering with rage.
“你这话是什么意思？”他咆哮着，气得浑身发抖。
I jumped to my feet and glared back. “No, you’re not!” I shouted. “It’s not what you are, stupid, it’s what you do!”
我跳了起来，同样愤怒地盯着他。“对，你没有他们伟大！”我嚷道，“不是因为你是什么，笨蛋，而是因为你做了什么！”
Even the voice in my head was making no sense today.
即使是他的话，在今天也同样让人费解。
I was taken entirely by surprise when Edward’s voice cautioned me. “Be very careful, Bella,” his velvet voice warned. “Don’t push him too far. You need to calm him down.”
爱德华的声音这时侯突然出现，我惊讶不已，“千万小心，贝拉，”他温柔地提醒我，“不要逼迫他，你得让他冷静下来。”
“Killing people?” he demanded.
“杀人？”他问道。
“Jacob,” I pleaded, making my tone soft and even. “Is it really necessary to kill people, Jacob? Isn’t there some other way? I mean, if vampires can find a way to survive without murdering people, couldn’t you give it a try, too?”
“雅各布，”我恳求道，语气温柔、平和，“真的非得杀人吗，雅各布？就没有别的什么方法？我是说，如果吸血鬼可以不杀人而活下来，你为什么不能试试呢？”
I listened to him, though. I would do anything for that voice.
但我还是照他说的话做了，我会为了这个声音做任何事情。
“What did you think we were talking about?”
“你认为我们在谈什么呢？”
He wasn’t trembling anymore. He looked at me with half-hopeful disbelief. “I thought we were talking about your disgust for werewolves.”
他不再颤抖，用解脱之后满怀希望的眼神看着我：“我以为，我们在谈你对狼人的憎恶。”
He straightened up with a jerk, like my words had sent an electric shock through him. His eyebrows shot up and his eyes stared wide.
他突然直起身子，我的话仿佛电击令他一震。他扬起眉毛，眼睛瞪得圆圆的。
“Isn’t that reason enough?”
“难道这个理由还不充分吗？”
He started to laugh.
他笑出声来。
I studied his face, and it was clear that this was the truth. Relief pulsed through me.
我盯着他的脸，看得出他说的是实话，我立刻松了一口气。
“Jacob Black, this is so not funny!”
“雅各布·布莱克，这件事并不可笑！！”
“Is that all? Really?” he interrupted me, a smile breaking across his face. “You’re just scared because I’m a murderer? That’s the only reason?”
“仅仅是因为这样？真的吗？”他打断了我的话，脸上顿时露出了笑容，“你只是因为我是杀人凶手而害怕？仅此而已？”
“You really, honestly don’t mind that I morph into a giant dog?” he asked, his voice joyful in my ear.
“你真的一点儿也不介意我会变成一匹巨狼？”他在我耳边问道，声音中充满欣喜。
He let me go, but took both my hands. “I’m not a killer, Bella.”
他松开胳膊，握住了我的双手：“我不是凶手，贝拉。”
“No,” I gasped. “Can’t — breathe — Jake!”
“不介意，”我喘着粗气说，“呼吸——困难——杰克！”
He took one long stride and caught me in another vice-tight bear hug.
他朝前跨了一大步，把我紧紧地揽入怀中。
“Sure, sure,” he agreed, still chortling.
“当然，当然。”他赞同道，还是咯咯笑着。
“No, Jake, no. It’s not that you’re a… wolf. That’s fine,” I promised him, and I knew as I said the words that I meant them. I really didn’t care if he turned into a big wolf — he was still Jacob. “If you could just find a way not to hurt people… that’s all that upsets me. These ate innocent people, Jake, people like Charlie, and I can’t just look the other way while you –“
“不，杰克，不。不是因为你是一匹狼。这一点问题都没有。”我向他承诺，这句话完全发自肺腑。我的确不在乎他会变成一匹巨狼——他仍然是雅各布。“如果你可以不再伤人这是让我心烦的事。他们都是无辜的人，杰克，像查理这样的人，我也无法忍受他们抓捕你——”
The memory was clear — I’d just been thinking of that very day. “Protectors?”
往事历历在目——我正在回忆那天的事。“保护者？”
“Protect them from what? Is there really a bear out there, too?”
“为什么要保护他们？难道森林里真的有熊吗？”
“But I don’t understand. What’s happening in the woods? The missing hikers, the blood?”
“但是我不明白，森林里到底发生了什么事？失踪的游人，还有血迹？”
“Sorry I called you a hypocrite,” he apologized.
“对不起，我刚才不该叫你伪君子。”他抱歉地说。
He shook his head, smiling like a huge burden had been removed from his shoulders. “Of course not. Don’t you remember what we call ourselves?”
他摇了摇头，如释重负般笑着：“当然不是，记得我们怎么称呼自己吗？”
“Exactly.”
“没错。”
I thought of something then, and pulled away from him so that I could see his face. My eyebrows furrowed in anxiety. “What about Sam? And the others?”
我突然想起了什么，轻轻推开他，盯着他的脸，焦急地皱着眉头，“那山姆呢？还有其他人？”
“Sorry I called you a murderer.”
“对不起，我刚才不该叫你杀人犯。”
He laughed.
他笑了起来。
Like that other time, he stroked my hair.
他像从前一样轻抚我的头发。
“Really,” he promised solemnly.
“真的。”他严肃地回答。
I threw my arms around him. It reminded me of that first day with the motorcycles — he was bigger, though, and I felt even more like a child now.
我张开双臂搂住了他。这让我想起了第一次骑摩托车的那一天——他比那时更加高大，我觉得自己此刻比当时更像个小孩子。
His face was serious, worried at once. “We’re trying to do our job, Bella. We’re trying to protect them, but we’re always just a little too late.”
他的脸色立马变得严肃、焦虑。“我们在尽力完成我们的使命，贝拉。我们设法保护他们，但是每次都迟了一步。”
“Really?” I asked.
“真的吗？”我问道。
“Bella, honey, we only protect people from one thing — our one enemy. It’s the reason we exist — because they do.”
“贝拉，亲爱的，我们对抗的目标只有一个——我们唯一的敌人，这是我们存在于世界上的原因——因为他们也存在。”
I stared at him blankly for one second before I understood. Then the blood drained from my face and a thin, wordless cry of horror broke through my lips.
我茫然地盯着他看了一会儿，才明白。然后鲜血从我的脸上消失了，一股薄薄的、无言的恐惧声穿过我的嘴唇。
“Laurent,” I whispered. “He’s still here.”
“劳伦特，”我轻声说，“他还在这里。”
He nodded. “I thought you, of all people, would realize what was really going on.”
他点了点头。“我想你，所有人，都会意识到到底发生了什么。”
Jacob blinked twice, and cocked his head to one side. “Who’s Laurent?”
雅各布眨了眨眼，把头歪向一边。“谁是劳伦特？”
I tried to sort out the chaos in my head so that I could answer. “You know — you saw him in the meadow. You were there…” The words came out in a wondering tone as it all sunk in. “You were there, and you kept him from killing me…”
我理了理纷乱的头绪，回答道：“你知道的——你在草地上见过他，你当时在场”我的声音越来越小，几乎听不见，“你当时在场，保护我不被他伤害”
“Oh, the black-haired leech?” He grinned, a tight, fierce grin. “Was that his name?”
“哦，是那个黑头发的吸血鬼吗？”他咧嘴一笑，笑容里带着一丝凶恶，“那是他的名字？”
Another laugh interrupted me. “Bella, one lone vampire isn’t much of a problem for a pack as big as ours. It was so easy, it was hardly even fun!”
他又笑着打断我的话。“贝拉，一个吸血鬼势单力薄，根本不是我们这么一大群狼人的对手。一切易如反掌，我们都还没体会到其中的乐趣呢！”
I shuddered. “What were you thinking?” I whispered. “He could have killed you! Jake, you don’t realize how dangerous –“
我浑身一抖。“你不害怕吗？”我低语道，“他很可能要你的命！杰克，你不知当时有多危险——”
“What was so easy?”
“什么事情易如反掌？”
He nodded. “Well, it was a group effort,” he qualified.
他点点头、“对啊，其实是集体努力的结果。”他更正道。
I could only mouth the words. “You… killed… Laurent?”
我简直说不出话。“你杀了劳伦特？”
“Killing the bloodsucker who was going to kill you. Now, I don’t count that towards the whole murder thing,” he added quickly. “Vampires don’t count as people.”
“杀死了那个想要杀死你的吸血鬼。我认为这算不上是杀人案，”他马上补充道，“吸血鬼压根不是人。”
His expression changed. “You’re not upset about that, are you? He was going to kill you — he was going for the kill, Bella, we were sure of that before we attacked. You know that, right?”
他变了脸色：“你不会是为了他的死伤心吧？他当时想杀了你——他确实想杀你，贝拉，我们对此确信无疑才会袭击他。你知道的，对吗？”
“Laurent is dead?” I whispered.
“劳伦特死了？”我自言自语道。
“Laurent is dead. He’s not coming back for me.”
“劳伦特死了，他再也不会来找我。”
“You’re not mad? He wasn’t one of your friends or anything, was he?”
“你疯了吗？难道他也是你的朋友？”
“I know that. No, I’m not upset — I’m…” I had to sit down. I stumbled back a step until I felt the driftwood against my calves, and then sank down onto it.
“我知道。不是，我不是伤心——我是”我实在站不住了，向后退了一步，小腿碰到了浮木，一下子倒坐在上面。
“My friend?” I stared up at him, confused and dizzy with relief. I started babbling, my eyes getting moist. “No, Jake. I’m so… so relieved. I thought he was going to find me — I’ve been waiting for him every night, just hoping that he’d stop with me and leave Charlie alone. I’ve been so frightened, Jacob… But how? He was a vampire! How did you kill him? He was so strong, so hard, like marble…”
“我的朋友？”我抬起头盯着他，感到一阵眩晕，但内心充满了被解救后的欣喜，我开始有些语无伦次，眼睛渐渐湿润，“不是，杰克，我太太高兴了。我以为他会找到我——每天夜里我都担心他会来找我，我只希望他放过查理。我真的很害怕，雅各布但是，怎么可能？他是个吸血鬼！你们怎么可能杀死他？他那么强壮，那么坚硬，像顽石一样……”
“Oh, right.”
“哦，是的。”
“Wait, Jake — I thought you knew, though. Last night, you said it wasn’t safe for you to be in my room. I thought you knew that a vampire might be coming. Isn’t that what you were talking about?”
“等等，杰克——我以为你知道我的害怕。昨天晚上，你说在我的房间不安全。我以为你知道吸血鬼有可能来找我，难道你指的不是这件事？”
He sat down next to me and put one big arm around me comfortingly. “It’s what we’re made for, Bells. We’re strong, too. I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid. You didn’t need to be.”
他在我身边坐下，结实的手臂温柔地搂着我：“这是我们的使命，贝尔，我们也很强壮。你应该早点告诉我你的恐惧，其实你没必要感到害怕。”
He looked confused for a minute, and then he ducked his head. “No, that’s not what I meant.”
他露出疑惑的表情，过了一会儿，他埋下脑袋：“不是，不是这件事。”
“You weren’t around,” I mumbled, lost in thought.
“那段时间我找不到你。”我陷入沉思中。
“Then why didn’t you think it was safe for you there?”
“那你为什么不觉得在那里安全呢？”
He looked at me with guilt-ridden eyes. “I didn’t say it wasn’t safe for me. I was thinking of you.”
他充满愧疚地看着我：“不安全的那个人不是指我，而是指你。”
“What do you mean?”
“什么意思？”
He looked down and kicked a rock. “There’s more than one reason I’m not supposed to be around you, Bella. I wasn’t supposed to tell you our secret, for one thing, but the other part is that it’s not safe for you. If I get too mad… too upset… you might get hurt.”
他眼睛望着地上，脚踢着旁边的岩石。“我不能和你在一起是有许多原因的，贝拉。我不应该告诉你我们的秘密，这是其一。另外，我和你在一起对你来说非常危险。如果我太生气太烦乱也许会伤害到你。”
I thought about that carefully. “When you were mad before… when I was yelling at you… and you were shaking…”
我仔细地想着他的话：“你生气的时候我朝你大吼大叫的时候你的身子在发抖……”
“What would happen… if you got too mad?” I whispered.
“如果你太生气会发生什么事情？”我轻声地问道。
“You don’t need a full moon.”
“你们不是在月圆的时候才会变成狼吗？”
“Yeah.” His face dropped even lower. “That was pretty stupid of me. I have to keep a better hold on myself. I swore I wasn’t going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just got so upser that I was going to lose you… that you couldn’t deal with what I am…”
“是的，”他又低下头，“我当时真是太傻了，我应该努力控制好自己的情绪。之前我还发誓，无论你对我说什么我都不能生气，可是……一想到我会失去你……一想到你不能接受我……我就心烦意乱。”
“I’d turn into a wolf,” he whispered back.
“我会变成一匹狼。”他也轻声地回答道。
We’re going to take care of this!
我们将会处理好一切！
It wasn’t over.
这一切都还没有完结。
Something very, very obvious, something I should have grasped at once — but I’d been so distracted by the idea of Jacob and his friends fighting with Laurent, that I’d completely missed it at the time — occurred to me only then, when Jacob used the present tense again.
有一件显而易见的事情我早该察觉——但是我一直想象着雅各布和他的朋友们同劳伦特进行殊死搏斗的情景，一点也没有留意——直到听到他的话里的将来时，我才如梦初醒。
He rolled his eyes. “Hollywood’s version doesn’t get much right.” Then he sighed, and was serious again. “You don’t need to be so stressed out, Bells. We’re going to take care of this. And we’re keeping a special eye on Charlie and the others — we won’t let anything happen to him. Trust me on that.”
他转了转眼珠。“好莱坞的电影不太现实。”他叹了口气，神情严肃，“你不用这么紧张，贝尔，我们将会处理好一切。我们会特别留意查理还有其他人——不会让他受到任何伤害。相信我。”
“Bella?” Jacob asked anxiously, touching my ashen cheek.
“贝拉？”雅各布紧张地问道，轻抚我苍白的脸颊。
“If Laurent died… a week ago… then someone else is killing people now.”
“如果劳伦特一个星期前……死了……那么现在行凶的一定另有其人。”
“Laurent is dead,” I gasped, and my entire body went ice cold.
“劳伦特死了。”我喘着粗气，全身冰凉。
Jacob nodded; his teeth clenched together, and he spoke through them. “There were two of them. We thought his mate would want to fight us — in our stories, they usually get pretty pissed off if you kill their mate — but she just keeps running away, and then coming back again. If we could figure out what she was after, it would be easier to take her down. But she makes no sense. She keeps dancing around the edges, like she’s testing our defenses, looking for a way in — but in where? Where does she want to go? Sam thinks she’s trying to separate us, so she’ll have a better chance…”
雅各布点点头，他咬牙切齿地说道：“他们是一对。我们以为他的伴侣会来报仇——传说中说，如果有人杀死了他们的伴侣，他们会非常生气——但是她躲躲闪闪，不找我们寻仇。要是我们知道她到底想要什么，事情会变得容易得多。她不露痕迹，总是在边缘地带活动，似乎在伺机突破我们的防守，进入某个地方——但是进入哪里呢？她的目的到底是什么呢？山姆认为她企图调虎离山，把我们分开，她就有机可乘……”
His voice faded until it sounded like it was coming through a long tunnel; I couldn’t make out the individual words anymore. My forehead dewed with sweat and my stomach rolled like I had the stomach flu again. Exactly like I had the flu.
他的声音渐渐变得模糊，仿佛来自一条深远的隧道，我一个字也听不清楚，额头上冒出粒粒汗珠，好像又染上了肠胃感冒一样难受。没错，就像染上了肠胃感冒。
“Victoria,” I gasped as soon as I could catch my breath around the nauseous spasms. In my head, Edward snarled in fury at the name.
“维多利亚。”我喘着粗气，强忍住身体的抽搐和胃部的痉挛。一听到这个名字，脑海里爱德华的声音开始愤怒的咆哮。
I turned away from him quickly, and leaned over the tree trunk. My body convulsed with useless heaves, my empty stomach contracting with horrified nausea, though there was nothing in it to expel.
我迅速地转过身，靠在树干上，发出声声呻吟。身体不断的抽搐。我因为惊吓过度而感到一阵恶心，尽管胃里空无一物却仍想要呕吐。
Victoria was here. Looking for me. Killing strangers in the woods. The woods where Charlie was searching…
维多利亚在这里。她在寻找我，她在森林里杀害无辜的人们，查理也在森林里……
My head spun sickeningly.
我感到头晕目眩。
I felt Jacob pull me up from my slump. He draped me awkwardly across his lap, laying my limp head against his shoulder. He struggled to balance me, to keep me from sagging over, one way or the other He brushed the sweaty hair back from my face.
我的身体逐渐下沉，雅各布支撑着我。他拉着我坐到他腿上，将我耸拉的脑袋靠在他肩膀上。他尽力让我保持平衡，不再左摇右晃，又伸手抚开我脸颊上被汗水浸湿的头发。
“Who?” Jacob asked. “Can you hear me, Bella? Bella?”
“谁？”雅各布问道，“能听见我说话吗？贝拉？贝拉？”
“Do you need some water? A doctor? Tell me what to do,” he demanded, frantic.
“想喝水吗？去看医生吧？告诉我应该做些什么。”他惶恐地问道。
Jacob’s hands caught my shoulders — kept me from sliding forward onto the rocks. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek. “Bella! What’s wrong?”
雅各布伸手抓住我的肩膀——我就快倒在旁边的岩石上。我的脸颊感觉到他的温暖的鼻息。“贝拉！怎么了？”
“She wasn’t Laurent’s mate,” I moaned into his shoulder. “They were just old friends…”
“她不是劳伦特的伴侣，”我靠在他的肩膀无力地说道，“他们只是老朋友……”
I trembled again, and whimpered, “Yes.”
我又是一阵颤抖，呜咽地说：“是的。”
“Edward killed James,” I whispered. Jacob held me so tightly that there was no need for me to clutch at the hole — he kept me in one piece. “She did get… pissed off. But Laurent said she thought it was fairer to kill me than Edward. Mate for mate. She didn’t know — still doesn’t know, I guess — that… that…” I swallowed hard. “That things aren’t like that with us anymore. Not for Edward, anyway.”
“爱德华杀死了詹姆斯。”我轻声说，雅各布紧紧地抓着我，我根本不用去捂住胸前的伤口——他强而有力的支撑就是我的止痛剂，“她确实非常生气。但是劳伦特说，她觉得杀我比杀爱德华更公平。这叫以牙还牙，爱人换爱人。她不知道——至今都不知道——我们我们”我哽咽地说，“我们已经不是以前那种关系了，至少对于爱德华来说已经不是了。”
He pulled my face around, holding it steady in his big hand. He stared intently into my eyes. “Did he tell you anything else, Bella? This is important. Do you know what she wants?”
他用厚实的手掌稳稳的捧着我的脸，目不转睛地注视着我的双眼：“他还对你说过什么，贝拉？这太重要了。你知道她想要什么吗？”
I nodded, shuddering.
我点点头，身子一抖。
“Laurent told me James was her mate,” I explained, automatically flexing the hand with the scar.
“劳伦特告诉我詹姆斯是她的爱人。”我解释道，那只带着伤疤的手不自觉的抖动一下。
His eyes flipped wide, then narrowed into slits. “Why?” he demanded.
他突然睁大眼睛，然后又眯缝着眼问道：“为什么？”
“How do you know she wasn’t his mate?”
“你怎么知道他不是他的伴侣？”
Jacob patted my back. “Scaled of this Victoria?”
雅各布轻柔地拍拍我的后背：“害怕维多利亚吗？”
“Of course,” I whispered. “She wants me.”
“当然知道，”我低语道，“她想要杀我。”
“Victoria is the red-haired female?”
“维多利亚是不是一个红头发的女人？”
“I’m not sick — I’m scared,” I explained in a whisper. The word scared didn’t really seem to cover it.
“我没有生病——我只是害怕。”我轻声地向他解释。害怕这个词似乎不足以形容我此刻的感受。
He traded his hold on my waist for one of my hands. “Let’s go.”
他腾出一只手握住我的手：“走吧。”
“Please,” I moaned. “Please. Don’t.”
“不，”我伤心地说道，“不，别这样说。”
He stood, pulling me to my feet. He kept two hands on my waist until he was sure I wasn’t going to fall.
他站了起来，搀扶我站稳。他用双手搂着我的腰，保证我不会倒下。
“I’m nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special,” I explained, shrugging weakly.
“毕竟我是个普通人，没有什么与众不同的地方。”我解释道，虚弱地耸耸肩。
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“我们去哪啊？”我问道。
He pulled me back toward the truck.
他扶着我向小卡车走去。
Jacob was distracted by that, his face torn between several different expressions. “Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?”
雅各布听得入神，脸上露出不同的表情：“就是这样一回事吗？卡伦一家是因为这个理由而离开的吗？”
“This is important,” he said again, his face all business now. “This is exactly what we needed to know. We’ve got to tell the others right away.”
“这件事太重要了，”他的脸色变得十分严肃，“这正是我们想要知道的事情，我们必须马上通知其他人。”
Jacob hesitated, then nodded once.
雅各布犹豫片刻，点点头。
“I’m okay,” I lied.
“我没事。”我撒谎道。
Something like a growl — not a real growl, just a human approximation — rumbled in Jacob’s chest under my ear. “If that idiot bloodsucker is honestly stupid enough –“
似乎有一阵低嚎——那是一种类似于人类咆哮时发出的声音——在雅各布的胸膛里回荡：“那个白痴吸血鬼真是太愚蠢了——”
“I’m not sure yet,” he admitted. “I’ll call a meeting. Hey, wait here for just a minute, okay?” He leaned me against the side of the truck and released my hand.
“我还不确定，”他说道，“我会召集一个会议。嘿，在这里等我一下，好吗？”他让我靠在小卡车边上，松开了我的手。
Victoria was already hunting me. It was just luck that she hadn’t found me yet — just luck and five teenage werewolves. I exhaled sharply. No matter what Jacob said, the thought of him coming anywhere close to Victoria was horrifying. I didn’t care what he could turn into when he got mad. I could see her in my head, her face wild, her hair like flames, deadly, indestructible…
维多利亚一直在找我。她没找到只不过是因为我运气好——运气好再加上五个年轻狼人的保护，我喘着粗气。不管雅各布怎么安慰我，一想到他靠近维多利亚就让我毛骨悚然，不管雅各布在愤怒时会变身成什么样子，我满脑都是维多利亚可怖的形象，野蛮的脸，似火的发，杀人不眨眼，无人能匹敌……
“I’ll be right back,” he promised. Then he turned and sprinted through the parking lot, across the road, and into the bordering forest. He flitted into the trees, swift and sleek as a deer.
“我很快就回来。：他承诺道，然后转过身，快速地穿过停车场，接着穿过马路，窜进了路边的森林。他在树丛中轻快地穿梭，像只鹿一样敏捷、迅速。
“Where are you going?”
“你去哪里？”
“Jacob!” I yelled after him hoarsely, but he was already gone.
“雅各布！”我扯着嗓子喊道，但他已经无影无踪。
But, according to Jacob, Laurent was gone. Was that really possible? Edward — I clutched automatically at my chest — had told me how difficult it was to kill a vampire. Only another vampire could do the job. Yet Jake said this was what werewolves were made for…
但是，雅各布说，劳伦特死了。这是真的吗？爱德华——我下意识地捂住胸口——曾告诉我杀死吸血鬼是件很难办到的事，只有另外一个吸血鬼才有这个能力，可杰克却说狼人生来就是为完成这个使命……
It was not a good time to be left alone. Seconds after Jacob was out of sight, I was hyperventilating. I dragged myself into the cab of the truck, and mashed the locks down at once. It didn’t make me feel any better.
这个时侯单独待在这种地方实在不是明智之举。雅各布刚刚消失在视线之处，我就感到呼吸加速。我吃力地爬进车里，使劲按下车栓，但是一点安全感也没有。
He pursed his lips, and said nothing.
他撅起嘴，什么也不说。
“What? Is it a secret?”
“怎么了，难道是个秘密？”
He said they were keeping a special eye on Charlie — that I should trust the werewolves to keep my father safe. How could I trust that? None of us were safe! Jacob the very least of all, if he was trying to put himself between Victoria and Charlie… between Victoria and me.
他说他们会特别留意查理——应该相信狼人能保证我父亲的安全，但是，我怎么可能相信呢？我们每一个人都不安全！特别是雅各布，如果他介入维多利亚和查理之间介入维多利亚和我之间。
I just shook my head. I’d seen too many vampires in action.
我摇了摇头，凶狠残暴的吸血鬼我见得太多了。
He frowned. “Not really. It’s kind of weird, though. I don’t want to freak you out.”
他皱着眉头：“不是，但是听上去有些不同寻常，我不想吓着你。”
I felt like I might be about to throw up again.
我又感到一阵恶心。
“Don’t be. We’ll take care of you — and Charlie, too. I promise.”
“别怕。我们会照看好你——还有查理，我发誓。”
He laughed. “You’ve got to have a little more confidence in us than that. It’s insulting.”
他笑了起来：“你应该对我们充满信心，别太小瞧我们。”
“Where did you go just now?” I asked.
“你刚才去哪里了？”我问道。
“You’re really scared, aren’t you?” he asked as he climbed in.
“你吓坏了，是吗？”他边问边钻进车里。
I nodded.
我点点头。
A sharp rap on the truck’s window made me yelp in terror — but it was just Jacob, back already. I unlocked the door with trembling, grateful fingers.
车窗上突然响起急促的敲打声，我吓得尖叫起来——是雅各布，他回来了。我松了口气，用颤抖的手指打开车门。
“The idea of you finding Victoria is scarier than the idea of her finding me,” I whispered.
“让你发现维多利亚比让她发现我更恐怖。”我轻声说。
“Thanks.”
“谢谢。”
He laughed. “Whatever. The Cullens, then?”
他笑了笑：“好吧，卡伦一家，可以吧？”
“It’s not… well, you’re not the first person I’ve known who could do that. So it doesn’t seem so weird to me.”
“不会……其实，你不是我所遇见的第一个有这种特异功能的人，所以我并不觉得奇怪。”
“Not hear sounds,” he went on, “but we can hear… thoughts — each other’s anyway — no matter how far away from each other we are. It really helps when we hunt, but it’s a big pain otherwise. It’s embarrassing — having no secrets like that. Freaky, eh?”
“不是指听见对方的声音，”他继续说，“而且内心的想法——彼此都能听见——不管我们相隔多远。当我们追踪敌人时，这一点确实帮了不少忙，但在其他时候，它却带来了不少麻烦。有时候真叫人难堪——连一点秘密都藏不住。不同寻常，是吗？”
“Is that what you meant last night, when you said you would tell them you’d seen me, even though you didn’t want to?”
“昨天晚上，你说，虽然你不愿意告诉他们你见过我，但不得不向他们坦白。你当时就是指得这回事，对吗？”
“You’re quick.”
“你脑筋转得挺快。”
Jacob grinned back easily. “Guess you’d have to be. Okay. See, when we’re wolves, we can… hear each other.”
雅各布轻松地冲我咧嘴一笑：“我想你也应该习以为常了。好吧，告诉你，我们这些狼人变成狼以后，可以听见对方。”
“I wish you wouldn’t call them that.”
“我希望你不要这样称呼他们。”
“Really?… Wait — are you talking about your bloodsuckers?”
“真的吗？……等待，你说的不会是那些视血如命的家伙吧？”
“I’m sort of used to weird by this point, you know.” I tried to smile without much success.
“我现在已经习惯了不同寻常的事情。”我想笑但却笑不出来。
“Just… just Edward.” I pulled one arm surreptitiously around my torso.
“只是… 只是爱德华而已。”我假装自然地抬起一只胳膊挡在胸前。
My eyebrows pulled down in confusion.
我疑惑地皱了皱眉。
“You’re also very good with weird. I thought that would bother you.”
“你竟然能够接受这些不同寻常的事情，我以为说出来会让你害怕。”
He scowled. “Guess not. Okay, we’re going to meet Sam and the others at the place we go to ride our bikes.”
他皱了皱眉。“也许没有了吧。好了，我们去以前骑摩托车的地方和山姆还有其他人碰头。”
“So did you just turn into a wolf now, to talk to Sam?” I asked, curious.
“你刚才是不是变成一匹狼。为了和山姆说话？”我好奇地问道。
Jacob looked surprised — unpleasantly so. “I thought those were just stories. I’ve heard legends about vampires who could do… extra stuff, but I thought that was just a myth.”
雅各布看上去有些吃惊——面露愠色。“我以为这些只不过是传说而已，我听说有些吸血鬼拥有特异功能，但我以前以为这些只不过是传说，并非事实。”
“Is anything just a myth anymore?” I asked him wryly.
“如今还有什么传说不是事实呢？”我不太高兴地问他。
“That wouldn’t have stopped me.” I couldn’t get rid of my perception of Sam as the bad guy. My teeth clenched together whenever I heard his name.
“他阻止不了我。”我始终没有摆脱坏蛋山姆的印象，一听到他的名字，我还是会感到深恶痛绝。
Jacob nodded, seeming embarrassed. “I kept it real short — I tried not to think about you so they wouldn’t know what was going on. I was afraid Sam would tell me I couldn’t bring you.”
雅各布点点头，显得有点尴尬：“我只简短地说了几句——我试着不去想你，这样他们就不知道发生了什么事。不然，山姆不会让我带你一起去。”
“Well, it would have stopped me,” Jacob said, morose now. “Remember how I couldn’t finish my sentences last night? How I couldn’t just tell you the whole story?”
“但是，他可以阻止我，”雅各布犹豫地说道，“还记得昨晚我说话时的吞吞吐吐吗？还记得我多想实话实说却欲言又止吗？”
He chuckled darkly. “Close enough. Sam told me I couldn’t tell you. He’s… the head of the pack, you know. He’s the Alpha. When he tells us to do something, or not to do something — when he really means it, well, we can’t just ignore him.”
他苦笑了一下：“形容得真贴切。山姆告诉我任何事都不能对你说，他是……群狼之首，是老大。当他告诉我们要做什么事情，或者不能做什么事情——如果他决意已定，那么，我们就必须照做。”
“Yeah. You looked like you were choking on something.”
“记得，你看上去就像被什么东西哽住了喉咙。”
I started the truck and headed back up the road.
我发动了小卡车，朝大路上开去。
“Yeah, there’s a load of stuff like that — wolf things. I’m still learning. I can’t imagine what it was like for Sam, trying to deal with this alone. It sucks bad enough to go through it with a whole pack for support.”
“是啊，还有很多类似的规矩——狼群的习性，我仍在学习。我无法想象山姆是如何独自度过难关的。即使有一群狼人陪在我身边，我都无法忍受其中的痛苦。”
“Sam was alone?”
“山姆是独自一人？”
“Yeah.” Jacob’s voice lowered. “When I… changed, it was the most… horrible, the most terrifying thing I’ve ever been through — worse than anything I could have imagined. But I wasn’t alone — there were the voices there, in my head, telling me what had happened and what I had to do. That kept me from losing my mind, I think. But Sam…”
“对，”雅各布压低声音，“当我……变身的时候，非常的……恐怖。最可怕的事情——简直超乎我的想象，但我不是孤单一个人——我脑子里有很多声音，它们告诉我发生了什么事、我应该怎么做。正是这样，我才不至于惊慌失措。但是山姆……”
“Huh” was the best response I could think of.
“嗯。”这是我能想到的最好的回答。
“Very,” he agreed. “It’s kind of a wolf thing.”
“非常奇怪，”他赞同道，“这就是狼群的习性。”
“Will they be angry that I’m with you?” I asked.
“我和你一起去，他们不会生气吗？”我问道。
“Weird,” I muttered.
“真奇怪。”我咕哝道。
He made a face. “Probably.”
他扮了个鬼脸：“也许会。”
This was going to take some adjusting. When Jacob explained it like that, it was hard not to feel compassion for Sam. I had to keep reminding myself that there was no reason to hate him anymore.
我脑海中对山姆的一贯印象渐渐转变。听着雅各布如此诉说，很难不动恻隐之心。我不断提醒自己，没有理由再继续憎恶山姆。
He shook his head. “Sam had no help.”
他摇了摇头，“没有人帮山姆。”
“Maybe I shouldn’t –“
“也许我不应该——”
“No, it’s okay,” he assured me. “You know a ton of things that can help us. It’s not like you’re just some ignorant human. You’re like a… I don’t know, spy or something. You’ve been behind enemy lines.”
“不，没关系，”他向我保证，“你知道许多能够帮助我们的事情，并不像其他人一样一无所知。你像是一个我不知道应该怎么说，间谍或者什么，你曾经深入敌人内部。”
I did want Victoria to be stopped, preferably before she tortured me to death or ran into Charlie or killed another stranger. I just didn’t want Jacob to be the one to stop her, or rather to try. I didn’t want Jacob within a hundred miles of her.
我确实希望维多利亚被消灭掉，最好是在她折磨我至死之前，或者撞上查理之前，或者杀害其他无辜者之前被消灭掉，但我不希望雅各布去追踪她、消灭她，我不希望雅各布靠她太近。
I frowned to myself. Was that what Jacob would want from me? Insider information to help them destroy their enemies? I wasn’t a spy, though. I hadn’t been collecting that kind of information. Already, his words made me feel like a traitor.
我紧锁眉头。难道这就是雅各布想从我这里得到的东西？帮助他们战胜敌人的内部消息？我不是间谍，我从没有刻意搜集过他们想要的信息，但是，他的话还是让我感到自己像个叛徒。
No.
不是。
“Like the stuff about the mind-reading bloodsucker,” he continued, oblivious to my reverie. “That’s the kind of thing we need to know about. That really sucks that those stories are true. It makes everything more complicated. Hey, do you think this Victoria can do anything special?”
“比如吸血鬼也会心灵感应这类事，”他继续说着，没有发现我正在陷入沉思，“这就是我们想要知道的信息。那些传说竟然是事实，真让人沮丧，我们面临的问题更加棘手了。嘿，你认为维多利亚也有特异功能吗？”
But I wanted him to stop Victoria, didn’t I?
可我希望他能消灭维多利亚，不是嘛？
I squeezed my midsection, trying to ignore the throbbing around the edges of my chest. “Not really, no.”
我轻轻地揉了揉肚子，尽量不去想胸前的阵痛：“不太喜欢。”
“Sorry.”
“对不起。”
“Sure, sure.”
“可以，可以。”
“I don’t think so,” I hesitated, and then sighed. “He would have mentioned it.”
“我不这么认为，”我想了想，叹了口气，“如果有的话，他应该会提起。”
“How do you know me so well, Jacob? Sometimes it’s like you can read my mind.”
“你怎么这么了解我，雅各布？有时候，我觉得你似乎也能读着我的心思。”
“Did you ever think… that maybe… you’re better off?”
“你有没有想过也许现在的生活比从前更好？”
“‘Cause he wasn’t the best –“
“因为他不是最适合——”
“This good?” I asked.
“这如何？”我问道。
“He? Oh, you mean Edward — oops, sorry. I forgot. You don’t like to say his name. Or hear it.”
“他？哦，你是说爱德华——哎呀，对不起，我忘了，你不喜欢说起或者听到他的名字。”
I pulled over and cut the engine.
我开到路边，关掉发动机。
I inhaled slowly, and then let my breath out. “No.”
我慢慢地吸了口气，然后缓缓地呼了出来。“没有。”
I nodded, staring unseeingly into the gloomy forest.
我点了点头，茫然地盯着阴郁的森林。
“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I said anything.”
“好吧，”他深吸了口气，“抱歉我说了不该说的话。”
“You’re still pretty unhappy, aren’t you?” he murmured.
“你还是非常不开心，对吗？”他低声问道。
“Please, Jacob,” I interrupted, begging in a whisper. “Could we please not talk about this? I can’t stand it.”
“求你了，雅各布，”我打断了他。轻声地请求道，“我们能不能不谈这个？我受不了。”
“Don’t feel bad. If things were different, it would be nice to finally be able to talk to someone about it.”
“别自责了。能够找人诉说苦恼、分担心事是再好不过的事情，只是我的情况不同。”
We were on the little dirt road where Jacob had first taught me to ride the motorcycle.
我们到了雅各布第一次教我骑摩托车的泥路上。
“Naw. I just pay attention.”
“不，我只是比较留心而已。”
Jacob sucked in a sharp breath. “They’re here. Let’s go.”
雅各布猛吸一口气：“他们来了，我们走吧。”
He nodded. “Yeah, I had a hard time keeping a secret from you for two weeks. It must be hell to not be able to talk to anyone.”
他点点头：“的确如此，向你保守秘密的那两个星期实在不好过。找不到任何人倾诉，就像在地狱里受煎熬一样。”
“Hell,” I agreed.
“确实是煎熬。”我赞同道。
“Ha ha,” I said. But I got out of the truck, hurrying around the front end to stand close beside Jacob. I remembered only too clearly the giant monsters in the meadow. My hands were trembling like Jacob’s had been before, but with fear rather than rage.
“哈哈。”我笑了笑。我从车里下来，快速地绕过车头，紧挨在雅各布身边站着。在草地上见到的巨型怪兽的样子至今历历在目。我的双手同之前雅各布的手一样颤抖不停，不同的是，我是因为恐惧而不是愤怒。
“Are you sure?” I asked while he popped his door open. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”
“你确定吗？”他推开车门时我问道，“也许我不应该来这里。”
“They’ll deal with it,” he said, and then he grinned. “Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?”
“他们会接受的，”他说道，接着咧嘴一笑，“你是不是害怕这群巨狼？”
Jake took my hand and squeezed it. “Here we go.”
杰克握住我的手轻轻地捏着：“我们走吧。”
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