It is with a kind of fear that I begin to write the history of my life. I have, as it were, a superstitious hesitation in lifting the veil that clings about my childhood like a golden mist. The task of writing an autobiography is a difficult one. When I try to classify my earliest impressions, I find that fact and fancy look alike across the years that link the past with the present. The woman paints the child’s experiences in her own fantasy. A few impressions stand out vividly from the first years of my life; but “the shadows of the prison-house are on the rest.” Besides, many of the joys and sorrows of childhood have lost their poignancy; and many incidents of vital importance in my early education have been forgotten in the excitement of great discoveries. In order, therefore, not to be tedious I shall try to present in a series of sketches only the episodes that seem to me to be the most interesting and important.
当我动笔开始书写我的生活经历的时候，我的心有些许忐忑不安。要拨开那似乎氤氲着童年岁月的金色薄霭，我无端地感到犹豫不决。撰写自传绝非易事。当我试图将自己最初的记忆整理归类时，我发觉，经历过这么多年，连接过去与现在的事实与想象仿佛混淆在一处，难于辨别。女性通常借着想象来渲染孩子的故事。在我生命最初的日子里，一些记忆片段显得出奇地鲜活，而“余下的片段却晦暗模糊”。此外，随着时间的流转，童年时的喜怒哀乐大多已被淡忘，我受教育早期好些非常重要的事情也被之后令人激动的记忆渐次冲淡。因此在这篇回忆录中，我尽量写出那些在我看来最生动有趣也最重要的片段，这样也许便不会那么冗长乏味了。
I was born on June 27, 1880, in Tuscumbia, a little town of northern Alabama.
1880年6月27日，我降生于亚拉巴马州北部的小镇塔斯坎比亚。
The family on my father’s side is descended from Caspar Keller, a native of Switzerland, who settled in Maryland. One of my Swiss ancestors was the first teacher of the deaf in Zurich and wrote a book on the subject of their education — rather a singular coincidence; though it is true that there is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his.
我父系祖上是瑞士卡斯帕·凯勒家族的成员，移居美国之后定居于马里兰州。我的一位先人曾是苏黎世聋人学校的第一位教师，还著有一本有关聋人学生教育的书——真是世间罕有的巧合，尽管国王的祖先中也定会有奴隶，而奴隶的祖先中也定会有国王。
My grandfather, Caspar Keller’s son, “entered” large tracts of land in Alabama and finally settled there. I have been told that once a year he went from Tuscumbia to Philadelphia on horseback to purchase supplies for the plantation, and my aunt has in her possession many of the letters to his family, which give charming and vivid accounts of these trips.
我的祖父——卡斯帕·凯勒的儿子来到广袤的亚拉巴马州土地上并在此定居。家人曾告诉我，祖父每年都要骑马从塔斯坎比亚长途跋涉前往费城，给家中的种植园添置所需的补给。姑姑至今还收藏着祖父寄回家的信件，信中有趣而生动地描述了祖父的旅途。
My Grandmother Keller was a daughter of one of Lafayette’s aides, Alexander Moore, and granddaughter of Alexander Spotswood, an early Colonial Governor of Virginia. She was also second cousin to Robert E. Lee.
祖母的父亲是拉斐德[2]的一名副官，名叫亚历山大·莫尔，她的祖父亚历山大·斯伯兹伍德曾是早期弗吉尼亚州的一位殖民总督。祖母还是罗伯特·李[3]的二表妹。【注：[2]Marquis de Lafayette（1757—1834），法国将军和政治活动家，出身于法国古老家族。美国独立战争时期曾担任乔治·华盛顿的参谋。[3]Robert Edward Lee（1807—1870），美国南北战争期间联盟国最出色的将军，最终以总司令的身份指挥联盟国军队。】
My father, Arthur H. Keller, was a captain in the Confederate Army, and my mother, Kate Adams, was his second wife and many years younger. Her grandfather, Benjamin Adams, married Susanna E. Goodhue, and lived in Newbury, Massachusetts, for many years. Their son, Charles Adams, was born in Newburyport, Massachusetts, and moved to Helena, Arkansas. When the Civil War broke out, he fought on the side of the South and became a brigadier-general. He married Lucy Helen Everett, who belonged to the same family of Everetts as Edward Everett and Dr. Edward Everett Hale. After the war was over, the family moved to Memphis, Tennessee.
我的父亲亚瑟·H。凯勒曾在南北战争中担任南方军上尉，母亲凯特·亚当斯是父亲的第二任妻子，比他年轻好多岁。母亲的祖父本杰明·亚当斯与祖母苏珊娜·古德休长年居住在马萨诸塞州的纽伯里。舅舅查尔斯·亚当斯出生在纽伯里波特，后来搬到了阿肯色斯州的海伦娜。南北战争爆发后，他加入南方军作战，当上陆军准将。舅妈名叫露西·海伦·埃弗里特，与爱德华·埃弗里特[4]、爱德华·埃弗里特·黑尔博士[5]同宗。他们在战后搬到了田纳西州孟菲斯市。【注：[4]1794—1865，美国政治家、教育家。曾任美国参议员和哈佛大学校长。[5]1822—1909，美国作家、历史学家和牧师。】
I lived, up to the time of the illness that deprived me of my sight and hearing, in a tiny house consisting of a large square room and a small one, in which the servant slept. It is a custom in the South to build a small house near the homestead as an annex to be used on occasion. Such a house my father built after the Civil War, and when he married my mother they went to live in it. It was completely covered with vines, climbing roses and honeysuckles. From the garden it looked like an arbour. The little porch was hidden from view by a screen of yellow roses and Southern smilax. It was the favourite haunt of humming-birds and bees.
在我因病失去视觉和听觉之前，我们的家一直非常狭小，只有一间正方形大房间与一间小小的仆人卧房。根据南方人习惯，会紧挨着大宅边上建一间附属小屋用以急需。父亲在南北战争结束之后也盖了一所这样的房子，婚后便与母亲一起居住于此。隔着园子远望过去，葡萄、蔷薇和金银花美丽的藤蔓密密覆住了屋顶，好似一间凉亭。小巧的露台上绽放着满眼的黄玫瑰与茯苓花，成了雀鸟与蜜蜂流连的世界。
The Keller homestead, where the family lived, was a few steps from our little rose-bower. It was called “Ivy Green” because the house and the surrounding trees and fences were covered with beautiful English ivy. Its old-fashioned garden was the paradise of my childhood.
凯勒家老屋与我们的小蔷薇凉亭仅有几步之遥。由于房屋以及屋前屋后的树木与栅栏上都爬满了美丽的常春藤，我们的家被人称作“常春藤绿野”。那里的旧式花园是我童年的乐园。
Even in the days before my teacher came, I used to feel along the square stiff boxwood hedges, and, guided by the sense of smell would find the first violets and lilies. There, too, after a fit of temper, I went to find comfort and to hide my hot face in the cool leaves and grass. What joy it was to lose myself in that garden of flowers, to wander happily from spot to spot, until, coming suddenly upon a beautiful vine, I recognized it by its leaves and blossoms, and knew it was the vine which covered the tumble-down summer-house at the farther end of the garden! Here, also, were trailing clematis, drooping jessamine, and some rare sweet flowers called butterfly lilies, because their fragile petals resemble butterflies’ wings. But the roses — they were loveliest of all. Never have I found in the greenhouses of the North such heart-satisfying roses as the climbing roses of my southern home. They used to hang in long festoons from our porch, filling the whole air with their fragrance, untainted by any earthy smell; and in the early morning, washed in the dew, they felt so soft, so pure, I could not help wondering if they did not resemble the asphodels of God’s garden.
在我的老师到来之前，我常常摸着硬黄杨木方形树篱前进，凭着嗅觉我很快便能寻到那些初绽的紫罗兰与百合花。我心情不好时也会来这里散心，将自己滚烫的脸颊埋进凉气沁人的树叶中和草丛里。我在花园里到处晃悠，蓦地碰到一根美丽的蔓藤，那叶子与花瓣的形状让我辨认出，它就是花园深处那座摇摇欲坠的凉亭顶上环绕着的蔓藤——这是多么令人愉悦的经历！在这里，卷须的藤儿匍匐前进，茉莉低垂着花朵；这里还有一些罕见的芳香蝴蝶百合，得名于它蝶翼般柔嫩的花瓣。不过，最可爱的还是那些蔷薇花儿，在北方的温房里几乎不可能见到像我南方家里的这些如此惹人喜爱的爬藤蔷薇。它们一簇一簇地悬挂在凉台边缘，清香浮动，丝毫沾不着泥土浊气。清晨时分，花瓣上露珠转动，摸上去润泽细滑、纯净诱人。我不由得在想，传说中上帝花园里培植的那日光兰，也不过如此吧。
The beginning of my life was simple and much like every other little life. I came, I saw, I conquered, as the first baby in the family always does. There was the usual amount of discussion as to a name for me. The first baby in the family was not to be lightly named, everyone was emphatic about that. My father suggested the name of Mildred Campbell, an ancestor whom he highly esteemed, and he declined to take any further part in the discussion. My mother solved the problem by giving it as her wish that I should be called after her mother, whose maiden name was Helen Everett. But in the excitement of carrying me to church my father lost the name on the way, very naturally, since it was one in which he had declined to have a part. When the minister asked him for it, he just remembered that it had been decided to call me after my grandmother, and he gave her name as Helen Adams.
和其他小生命一样，我生命的开始简单而平凡，像每一个新生儿那般来到这个世界，观察并了解这个世界。家中第一个孩子取名决不能随便，家人为给我起个好名字，费了不少周章，个个都非常重视。父亲想以他敬重的一位先人米尔德丽德·坎贝尔的名字作为我的名字，别人说什么他都不听。母亲最后决定说她希望用外祖母的闺名海伦·埃弗里特来为我命名。然而，就在大家兴冲冲带我去教堂的途中，父亲竟然把想好的名字忘了，这也很正常，因为父亲本就不倾心于海伦·埃弗里特这名字。当牧师问他要名字的时候，他唯一能想起的是，根据家里的商议结果，我的名字应该随外祖母。于是，我的名字便成了海伦·亚当斯。
I am told that while I was still in long dresses I showed many signs of an eager, self-asserting disposition. Everything that I saw other people do I insisted upon imitating. At six months I could pipe out “How d’ye,”and one day I attracted every one’s attention by saying “Tea, tea, tea’quite plainly. Even after my illness I remembered one of the words I had learned in these early months. It was the word “water,” and I continued to make some sound for that word after all other speech was lost. I ceased making the sound “wah-wah” only when I learned to spell the word.
我后来得知，尚在襁褓时我就非常倔强好奇，常常刻意模仿大人们的一举一动。六个月大的时候我就能稚声稚气地向人问好。有一天，我吐字清晰地喊着要茶，引起众人瞩目。在病魔缠上我之后，我还能记得这最初几个月里学到的一个词：水（water）。在我完全丧失说话能力之后，我还能牵强地发出“水”这个词的音。后来在我学会拼写这个词之后，我才不再用“哇哇”的模糊音来表示“水”的意思。
They tell me I walked the day I was a year old. My mother had just taken me out of the bath-tub and was holding me in her lap, when I was suddenly attracted by the flickering shadows of leaves that danced in the sunlight on the smooth floor. I slipped from my mother’s lap and almost ran toward them. The impulse gone, I fell down and cried for her to take me up in her arms.
家人告诉我，周岁那天我学会了走路。那天帮我洗完澡后，母亲把我抱坐在膝上。突然，阳光中树叶在光滑的地板上闪动的轻影吸引了我的注意。我从母亲腿上滑了下来，几乎跑着走向树影。冲动过后，我一屁股坐倒在地，放声大哭，要母亲把我抱起来。
These happy days did not last long. One brief spring, musical with the song of robin and mocking-bird, one summer rich in fruit and roses, one autumn of gold and crimson sped by and left their gifts at the feet of an eager, delighted child. Then, in the dreary month of February, came the illness which closed my eyes and ears and plunged me into the unconsciousness of a new-born baby. They called it acute congestion of the stomach and brain. The doctor thought I could not live. Early one morning, however, the fever left me as suddenly and mysteriously as it had come. There was great rejoicing in the family that morning, but no one, not even the doctor, knew that I should never see or hear again.
幸福的时光并没有持久。短暂的春天是旅鸫和嘲鸟轻吟浅唱的时节，夏天是水果上市与蔷薇盛放的日子，秋天里草儿转黄，树叶羞红了脸蛋。三个季节倏尔而逝，在一个热切而快乐的孩子脚边留下各自美妙的礼物。接着，在次年清冷阴沉的二月，我病倒了。这场病夺走了我的视力和听力，将我投入初生婴儿般混沌无知的生活。医生们诊断是胃部与脑部急性充血，觉得我没救了。然而，一天清晨，高烧就像它突然降临那样不可思议地退去了。一家人目睹了这一奇迹，高兴得难以言喻，但没有人知道，从此我再也看不见东西，也听不见一丝声响了。
I fancy I still have confused recollections of that illness. I especially remember the tenderness with which my mother tried to soothe me in my waling hours of fret and pain, and the agony and bewilderment with which I awoke after a tossing half sleep, and turned my eyes, so dry and hot, to the wall away from the once-loved light, which came to me dim and yet more dim each day. But, except for these fleeting memories, if, indeed, they be memories, it all seems very unreal, like a nightmare. Gradually I got used to the silence and darkness that surrounded me and forgot that it had ever been different, until she came — my teacher — who was to set my spirit free. But during the first nineteen months of my life I had caught glimpses of broad, green fields, a luminous sky, trees and flowers which the darkness that followed could not wholly blot out. If we have once seen, “the day is ours, and what the day has shown.”
我能依稀回忆起病中的一些情景，尤其是醒来烦躁不安、痛苦难忍时母亲对我温柔的抚慰和耐心的照料。我记得自己在辗转反侧半睡中醒来时的痛苦和慌张，那时眼睛干涩灼痛，我不得不避开曾经倾爱的光亮，翻身面向墙壁。这种光亮对我来说一天天暗淡下去。除了这些一闪而过的记忆——如果真是记忆的话，一切似乎都那么不真实，像是一场噩梦。我渐渐习惯了周围的黑暗与静寂，忘却了曾经有过的不同，直到她——我的老师沙利文小姐来到我身边，解放了我孤独的灵魂。虽然我只拥有过十九个月的光明和声音，但我依旧记得那广袤无垠的家乡绿野、苍蓝高远的天穹、葱翠的树木与斗妍的花儿。我深深地铭记着，这些无法磨灭的美好点亮了紧随其后的黑暗寂静的世界。
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