My entertainment became the number-one priority on Isle Esme. We snorkeled (well, I snorkeled while he flaunted his ability to go without oxygen indefinitely). We explored the small jungle that ringed the rocky little peak. We visited the parrots that lived in the canopy on the south end of the island. We watched the sunset from the rocky western cove. We swam with the porpoises that played in the warm, shallow waters there. Or at least I did; when Edward was in the water, the porpoises disappeared as if a shark was near.
娱乐活动成了我在埃斯米岛上的首要消遣项目。我们一起去浮潜（好吧，只有一个人需要浮潜，而他则在一边炫耀着他无须氧气的本领）。我们一起探索环绕岩石小山的小型丛林。我们一起去看生活在岛屿南端树冠上的鹦鹉。我们一起去西面的岩石海崖欣赏日落。我们一起在温暖的浅滩上和海豚们嬉戏。反正我是做到了，而当爱德华下水时，海豚们还以为是鲨鱼来了都逃光了。
I drooped over my plate after I finished dinner every night; once I’d actually fallen asleep right at the table and he’d had to carry me to bed. Part of it was that Edward always made too much food for one, but I was so hungry after swimming and climbing all day that I ate most of it. Then, full and worn out, I could barely keep my eyes open. All part of the plan, no doubt.
每个晚上吃完晚饭后，我就这样趴在盘子上睡着了。一旦发现这种情况，他就把我抱上床。原因之一是爱德华总是做了远超过一人份的料理，但是我在一天的游泳和爬山后总是饿得把它们都吃完了。酒足饭饱加之精疲力竭，我困乏得都睁不开眼睛。都是计划的一部分，毫无争议。
I knew what was going on. He was trying to keep me busy, distracted, so I that wouldn’t continue badgering him about the sex thing. Whenever I tried to talk him into taking it easy with one of the million DVDs under the big-screen plasma TV, he would lure me out of the house with magic words like coral reefs and submerged caves and sea turtles. We were going, going, going all day, so that I found myself completely famished and exhausted when the sun eventually set.
我知道他的算盘。让我保持忙碌，被不同的事物分散注意力，这样就不会继续纠缠做爱的事情。每当我准备谈及这个话题，就像谈及某张放在大屏幕投影电视下的DVD那样随意的时候，他就会用他充满魔力的语言把我引出屋子，比如珊瑚礁，水下洞穴或是海龟等等。我们就这样外出，外出，整日地外出，太阳落山时分，我就发现自己已经饥肠辘辘，疲惫不堪。
Exhaustion didn’t help much with my attempts at persuasion. But I didn’t give up. I tried reasoning, pleading, and grouching, all to no avail. I was usually unconscious before I could really press my case far. And then my dreams felt so real — nightmares mostly, made more vivid, I guessed, by the too-bright colors of the island — that I woke up tired no matter how long I slept.
疲惫对于我说服他的决心并没有多大帮助，但是我不会放弃。我试过晓之以情，动之以理，甚至耍过无赖，但是都不起作用。我通常还没怎么深入话题呢，就已经困得不省人事了。岛上太过鲜明的色彩，让我的梦境如此逼真，我猜也许比我大部分的噩梦都要来得栩栩如生。于是不管我睡了多久，我醒来时仍然感到疲累。
About a week or so after we’d gotten to the island, I decided to try compromise. It had worked for us in the past.
我们到了岛上后的一个礼拜左右，我终于决定妥协。我们过去也干过类似的事情。
I was sleeping in the blue room now. The cleaning crew wasn’t due until the next day, and so the white room still had a snowy blanket of down. The blue room was smaller, the bed more reasonably proportioned. The walls were dark, paneled in teak, and the fittings were all luxurious blue silk.
现在我正睡在一间蓝色的房间内。白色房间现在是一地雪白的羽毛，后天之前都没有清洁人员去清理。深色的墙体上嵌着柚木板，整间房间都用奢华的蓝色丝绸装点。
I’d taken to wearing some of Alice’s lingerie collection to sleep in at night — which weren’t so revealing compared to the scanty bikinis she’d packed for me when it came right down to it. I wondered if she’d seen a vision of why I would want such things, and then shuddered, embarrassed by that thought.
晚上睡觉时我穿着爱丽丝准备的女式内衣，我选了些不那么暴露的，有几件她为我打包压箱底的比基尼，布料简直少得可怜。我怀疑她是不是预见到了我会需要这些衣服，不禁打了个哆嗦，为有这样的想法感到尴尬。
The bruises were much better now — yellowing in some places and disappearing altogether in others — so tonight I pulled out one of the scarier pieces as I got ready in the paneled bathroom. It was black, lacy, and embarrassing to look at even when it wasn’t on. I was careful not to look in the mirror before I went back to the bedroom. I didn’t want to lose my nerve.
瘀青现在已经好了很多，一些地方开始泛黄，另一些甚至已经开始消褪。所以今晚我在浴室准备的时候，决定拿出那件相当“厉害”的衣服来穿。这是一件黑色的蕾丝，即使不穿都已经不好意思去看了。我在走回卧室之前都小心不去照镜子，不想失去勇气。
I’d started out slow with innocent ivory satins, worried that revealing more of my skin would be the opposite of helpful, but ready to try anything. Edward seemed to notice nothing, as if I were wearing the same ratty old sweats I wore at home.
穿着象牙白的雪纺绸缎，我尽量动作幅度都很小，生怕暴露更多会起到反作用，但是还是决定放手一试。爱德华似乎什么都没有注意到，好像我只是穿着平时在家会穿的那件破旧的马甲。
He cleared his throat. “You look beautiful. You always do.”
他清清嗓子。“你看上美极了，你总是如此。”
“Thanks,” I said a bit sourly.
“谢谢，”我带着些许酸酸的语气回答。
I had the satisfaction of watching his eyes pop open wide for just a second before he controlled his expression.
我满意地看到他瞪圆了眼睛，然后才控制住情绪。
“What do you think?” I asked, pirouetting so that he could see every angle.
“你认为怎么样？”我单足原地旋转一圈，这样他就可以看到每个角度。
I was too tired to resist climbing quickly into the soft bed. He put his arms around me and pulled me against his chest, but this was routine — it was too hot to sleep without his cool body close.
我太累了，于是迅速爬上了软绵绵的床。他怀抱着我，贴近他的胸口。不过这只是习惯，不靠着他冰凉的身体，我会热得睡不着。
He rolled his eyes.
他睁大眼睛等着我说下去。
“All right. What is it you want?”
“好吧。你想要什么？”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“无所谓。”
I gritted my teeth for a second, fighting a smile. If there was one thing he couldn’t resist, it was an opportunity to give me something.
我咬紧牙齿，避免笑出声来。如果他也有无法抗拒的事物，我就有机会要求到些什么。
“You haven’t even heard what I’m offering.”
“你还不知道我的条件是什么呢。”
It took only a minute — not long enough for me to zonk out.
只花了一分钟时间，还没等我睡过去。
“I’ll make you a deal,” I said sleepily.
“我想和你做个交易。”我带着睡意说。
“I will not make any deals with you,” he answered.
“我不会和你做任何交易。”他回答。
I closed mine and let the bait sit there. I yawned.
我却闭上眼睛吊着他的胃口，并打了个哈欠。
“Well, I was thinking… I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn’t kill me,” I said, echoing his words from long ago, when he’d tried to persuade me to put off becoming a vampire. “Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure, it might be embarrassing if I can’t keep up with all the brainiacs. Still… eighteen, nineteen. It’s really not such a big difference. It’s not like I’m going to get crow’s feet in the next year.”
“恩，我是在考虑……我知道整件达特茅斯的事情只是做做表面文章，但是老实说，一个学期的大学生活不会要了我的命的，”附和着很久以前他为了推迟我成为吸血鬼而说的话。“我感打赌Charlie如果知道事情的真相一定会大受打击。当然，如果我不能跟上那些天才的话，也会很难看的。而且……18岁，19岁，也不是有那么大的差别啦。我明年也不像会有鱼尾纹的样子。”
I sighed. “Dang it. And I really wanted… Oh well.”
我叹了口气。“见鬼。我还想……额，好吧。”
I held my tongue, letting the offer sink in.
我打住话头，让他充分理解我的条件。
“Why are you doing this to me?” he said through his teeth, his tone suddenly angry. “Isn’t it hard enough without all of this?” He grabbed a handful of lace that was ruffled on my thigh. For a moment, I thought he was going to rip it from the seam. Then his hand relaxed. “It doesn’t matter. I won’t make any deals with you.”
“为什么要为我做这些？”他的语调突然变得怒气冲冲，话都从牙缝中挤出来的。“没有这些就不行吗？”他抓起一把褶皱装饰在大腿处的蕾丝。有一刻，我还以为他会把它们撕成碎片。不料他还是松开了手。“没关系。我还是不会和你做任何交易的。”
He was silent for a long moment. Then, in a low voice, he said, “You would wait. You would stay human.”
他缄默许久。接着用低低的声音说，“你可以等，你可以仍是人类。”
“But I do want to go. Well, it’s not college as much as it’s that I want — I want to be human a little while longer.”
“但是我想去。是的，大学不是我想要的重点，我想要稍微延长点我还是人类的时间。”
“I want to go to college.”
“我想去上大学。”
“No, you don’t. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That’s worth hurting you.”
“不，你并不想。而且没有任何事情可以值得再拿你的生命去冒险了。那件事已经够伤害你了。”
He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. “You are making me insane, Bella. Haven’t we had this argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?”
他闭上眼睛从鼻子哼出气来。“你让我发疯，贝拉。我们难道没有就此问题争论了百万次了吗，而你每次都要求毫不迟疑地变成吸血鬼吗？”
“Guess,” I said, and I dragged myself off the pillows to kiss him.
“你猜啊，”我说着从枕头上仰起头去吻他。
“Yes, but… well, I have a reason to be human that I didn’t have before.”
“是的，但是……好吧，我有一个保持人类的理由，那是之前没有的。”
“What’s that?”
“是什么？”
“You are so human, Bella. Ruled by your hormones.” He chuckled.
“你就是这样一个感情用事的人类啊，完全被荷尔蒙所主导。”他笑着说。
“That’s the whole point, Edward. I like this part of being human. I don’t want to give it up yet. I don’t want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me.”
“这就是全部的重点，爱德华。我喜欢人类的这种感觉，我还不想放弃。我不想等上好多好多年再重温这种感觉，而在那之前我是一个只为血发狂的新生吸血鬼。”
He kissed me back, but not in a way that made me think I was winning. It was more like he was being careful not to hurt my feelings; he was completely, maddeningly in control of himself. Gently, he pulled me away after a moment and cradled me against his chest.
他也回吻了我，但那种感觉并不是我期望的胜利之吻。它更像小心地不去伤害我的感情，我很恼火看到他彻底地控制住了自己的情绪。轻轻的，他将我推开了一会儿，然后又重新把我搂进怀里。
I yawned, and he smiled.
我打了个哈欠，他笑了。
“You’re tired. Sleep, love.” He started humming the lullaby he’d composed for me when we first met.
“你累了，睡吧，亲爱的。”他开始哼起我们初见面时他为我创作的摇篮曲。
“I wonder why I’m so tired,” I muttered sarcastically. “That couldn’t be part of your scheme or anything.”
“我好奇为什么我会这么累呢，”我自嘲地嘟囔说。“这应该不是你计划的一部分或别的什么吧。”
He just chuckled once and went back to humming.
他轻笑了一声，接着又哼唱了起来。
“For as tired as I’ve been, you’d think I’d sleep better.”
“让我累成这个样子，你觉得这样我可以睡得更踏实些。”
The song broke off. “You’ve been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You haven’t said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren’t for the snoring, I’d worry you were slipping into a coma.”
歌曲中断。“你一直睡得很死，贝拉。自打我们到了这里后，你睡觉时一句梦话都没有说过。如果不是有鼾声，我都担心是不是昏迷过去了呢。”
“The Volturi,” I whispered.
“沃尔图里家族，”我轻声说。
I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want to tell him about the child in my recurring nightmare; there was something private about that particular horror. So, instead of giving him the full description, I gave him just one element. Certainly enough to frighten me or anyone else.
不知道为什么，但是我不想告诉他在我反复出现的噩梦中，总有一个小孩；在这一点上总觉得有些私人感情牵扯其中。所以我告诉了他些片段，而不是和盘托出。就这也足够能够吓倒我和其他人了。
“It’s all so bright and real. Usually, when I’m dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I don’t know I’m asleep. It makes them scarier.”
“太过于鲜明和真实了。通常，当我做梦的时候我是知道的。但是这些，我都没有意识到我还是睡着的。所以才更可怕。”
He hugged me tighter. “They aren’t going to bother us anymore. You’ll be immortal soon, and they’ll have no reason.”
他把我抱得更紧了。“他们不会再来打扰我们了。你马上就要变成吸血鬼了，所以他们没有借口了。”
“Different things — but the same, you know, because of the colors.”
“各种不同的事情——但是都很相像，你知道，因为色彩。”
“Colors?”
“色彩？”
“You’ve been having nightmares?”
“你做噩梦了？”
I shuddered slightly. “Mostly…” I hesitated.
我微微耸了下肩膀。“大部分……”我犹豫着该不该说下去。
He sounded disturbed when he spoke again. “What is frightening you?”
他再次说话时显得有些心绪不宁。“是什么让你感到害怕？”
“Mostly?” he prompted.
“大部分？”他催促我。
“What are they about?”
“关于什么的？”
I ignored the snoring jibe; I didn’t snore. “I haven’t been tossing? That’s weird. Usually I’m all over the bed when I’m having nightmares. And shouting.”
我不理会鼾声的嘲弄，因为我从不打鼾。“难道我都没翻身吗？那太奇怪了。当我睡觉做噩梦时，我会在整张床上翻来覆去的。还有叫喊。”
“Vivid ones. They make me so tired.” I yawned. “I can’t believe I haven’t been babbling about them all night.”
“还非常生动呢，就是它们才把我搞得这么累的。”我打个哈欠继续说。“不敢相信整晚我都一个字都没有透露。”
In this dream that was both new and old, I simply had to protect the unknown child. There was no other option. At the same time, I knew that I would fail.
在新新旧旧的梦里，我都在义无反顾保护着这个不认识的孩子，别无选择地。即使我是知道，我注定会失败。
I let him comfort me, feeling a little guilty that he’d misunderstood. The nightmares weren’t like that, exactly. It wasn’t that I was afraid for myself — I was afraid for the boy.
我任由他宽慰我，为他产生这样的误解而感到心虚。因为这并不是噩梦的全部事实。我不是在担心自己，而是在为那个男孩担忧。
He wasn’t the same boy as that first dream — the vampire child with the bloodred eyes who sat on a pile of dead people I loved. This boy I’d dreamed of four times in the last week was definitely human; his cheeks were flushed and his wide eyes were a soft green. But just like the other child, he shook with fear and desperation as the Volturi closed in on us.
这个男孩不是我第一次梦见的那个有着血红色眼睛，坐在一堆我所爱的人的尸体上的那个吸血鬼小孩。在过去一周中，我曾4次梦见这同一个小孩，他是人类，他的脸颊红润，有一双亮绿色的大眼睛。但是就像那个吸血鬼小孩一样，当沃尔图里家族靠近我们的时候，他也因为恐惧，绝望地摇着头。
I shook it off. “They’re just dreams, Edward.”
我摇摇头。“只是梦罢了，爱德华。”
He saw the desolation on my face. “What can I do to help?”
看到我哀伤的神情，他说。“我能帮上什么忙吗？”
“Do you want me to sing to you? I’ll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away.”
“你想让我哼歌给你听吗？如果这样可以让噩梦远离你的话，我可以整晚都哼着。”
“They’re not all bad. Some are nice. So… colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it’s really happening — I don’t know that I’m dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It’s really bright here.”
“它们并不是都那么可怕。有一些还是美好的。很……漂亮。在水下，和鱼儿们还有珊瑚。好像都是真实发生的，我不觉得这是梦境。也许是这座岛的问题，这里的一切都明亮极了。”
“We can stay as long as you want, Bella,” he promised me.
“你想待多久就多久，贝拉。”他向我保证。
“Do you want to go home?”
“你想回家吗？”
“When does the semester start? I wasn’t paying attention before.”
“学期什么时候开始？我之前都没注意。”
“No. No, not yet. Can’t we stay awhile longer?”
“不。不，还没有。我们不能再待得久一点吗？”
He sighed. He may have started humming again, too, but I was under before I could be sure.
他叹口气。也许之后他又开始吟唱起来，但是我那个时候已经睡去，所以不确定了。
Later, when I awoke in the dark, it was with shock. The dream had been so very real… so vivid, so sensory… I gasped aloud, now, disoriented by the dark room. Only a second ago, it seemed, I had been under the brilliant sun.
半夜，我在黑暗中惊醒过来。这个梦太真实了……身临其境的感觉冲击着感官……我大口地喘着气，在伸手不见五指的房间中迷失了方向。因为一秒钟之前，我似乎还沐浴在明媚的阳光下。
“Oh,” I gasped again. Just a dream. Not real. To my utter astonishment, tears overflowed from my eyes without warning, gushing down my face.
“噢，”我又喘了口气。只是梦，不是真的。令我大感意外的是，泪水竟毫无先兆地溢出眼眶，泪流满面。
“Bella?” Edward whispered, his arms tight around me, shaking me gently. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”
“贝拉？”爱德华小声地叫我，把我紧紧搂住，温柔地摇晃着。“你还好吧，宝贝？”
“Bella!” he said — louder, alarmed now. “What’s wrong?” He wiped the tears from my hot cheeks with cold, frantic fingers, but others followed.
“贝拉！”这次他提高了声音，惴惴不安。“出什么事了？”他冰冷的手指胡乱地抹去我滚烫脸颊上的泪水，但是泪如泉涌根本止不住。
“It was only a dream.” I couldn’t contain the low sob that broke in my voice. The senseless tears were disturbing, but I couldn’t get control of the staggering grief that gripped me. I wanted so badly for the dream to be real.
“只是一个梦而已。”我已经泣不成声了。泪水肆意，我无法控制住铺天盖地汹涌而来的悲伤。我多么希望这个梦是真的啊。
“And?” he finally prompted.
“然后？”他终于催促我说下去。
“Because I woke up,” I wailed, wrapping my arms around his neck in a chokehold and sobbing into his throat.
“因为我醒了，”我嚎啕大哭起来，抓住他的脖子就埋头啜泣起来。
“We were on the beach…” I trailed off, pulling back to look with tear-filled eyes at his anxious angel’s face, dim in the darkness. I stared at him broodingly as the unreasonable grief began to ebb.
“我们在海滩上……”我声音渐轻，透过朦胧的泪眼，他那焦虑的天使般的脸庞在黑暗中若隐若现。我全神贯注地看着他，那些不合情理的悲痛开始消散。
“Not a nightmare.” I shook my head, scrubbing the back of my hand against my eyes. “It was a good dream.” My voice broke again.
“不是噩梦，”我摇摇头，用手背揉揉眼睛。“是一个很好的美梦。”我的声音又开始抽泣。
“It was so real,” I cried. “I wanted it to be real.”
“它太真切了，”我哭着说。“我想要它是真的。”
“Tell me, Bella,” he pleaded, eyes wild with worry at the pain in my voice.
“告诉我，贝拉，”他恳求道，我话语中的痛楚都写在了他担心的眼睛中。
“Tell me about it,” he urged. “Maybe that will help.”
“说出来听听，”他急切的说。“说出来也许会有帮助。”
He laughed once at my logic, but the sound was tense with concern. “Everything’s all right, Bella. Take deep breaths.”
根据我的逻辑，他笑了一次，但声音很紧张。一切都好，贝拉。深呼吸。”
“It’s okay, love, you’re fine. I’m here.” He rocked me back and forth, a little too fast to soothe. “Did you have another nightmare? It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real.”
“没事了，亲爱的，你很好。我在这儿。”他急切地前后摇晃着我，反而让我有些无法平静下来。“是不是又做噩梦了？不是真的，不是真的。”
I blinked the tears out of my eyes, torn. “Oh, Edward…”
又一滴晶莹的泪珠夺眶而出。“噢，爱德华……”
“Then why are you crying?” he asked, bewildered.
“那为什么要哭呢？”他局促不安地问。
He struggled with me as gently as he could in his surprise, holding me away, grasping my shoulders.
在惊讶中，他轻松地挣脱了我，抓住我的肩膀，让我们保持一定距离。
But I couldn’t. Instead I clutched my arms around his neck again and locked my mouth with his feverishly. It wasn’t desire at all — it was need, acute to the point of pain. His response was instant but quickly followed by his rebuff.
但是我不能说。相反，我收紧环绕他脖子的手臂，吻上我紧闭的唇来回应他的激动。这不是欲望——而是需要，强效止痛。他的回应也是即时的，但是马上就做出了回绝的姿态。
He stared at me with confused, anguished eyes.
他焦急而又迷惑地看着我。
My arms dropped, defeated, the bizarre tears spilling in a fresh torrent down my face, a new sob rising in my throat. He was right — I must be crazy.
我挫败地垂下手，新一轮的泪水攻势又打湿了我的脸，又一股啜泣感在喉咙里升腾起来。他是对的——一定是我疯了。
“No, Bella,” he insisted, looking at me as if he was worried that I’d lost my mind.
“不要，贝拉。”他坚持着，端详着我，生怕我失去理智。
But he pulled me to him then, hugging me tightly to his marble chest.
他把我拉向他，用力拥我在他白皙无暇的胸口。
“Please,” I said, my plea muffled against his skin. “Please, Edward?”
“求求你了，”因为抵着他的皮肤，我的恳求声听起来有些发蒙。“求求你了，爱德华？”
“I’m s-s-s-orry,” I mumbled.
“我很抱……歉，”我含糊地说。
“I can’t, Bella, I can’t!” His moan was agonized.
“我不能，贝拉，我做不到！”他的呻吟声饱受煎熬。
I couldn’t tell if he was moved by the tears trembling in my voice, or if he was unprepared to deal with the suddenness of my attack, or if his need was simply as unbearable in that moment as my own. But whatever the reason, he pulled my lips back to his, surrendering with a groan.
我不知道他是不是因为我的梨花带泪而感动，还是他对于我这种突然的攻势毫无防备，还是这一刻他对我的需要，就如我需要他一样无法抑制。但是无论原因是什么，随着象征放弃的低吼，他的唇开始回应我的吻。
I stayed very still when I woke up in the morning and tried to keep my breathing even. I was afraid to open my eyes.
第二天早晨我醒来，但依旧保持一动不动，让呼吸保持均匀。我害怕睁开眼睛。
I was lying across Edward’s chest, but he was very still and his arms were not wrapped around me. That was a bad sign. I was afraid to admit I was awake and face his anger — no matter whom it was directed at today.
我就枕在爱德华的胸口，但是他静止不动，手臂也没有搂着我。这不是个好兆头。我不敢承认我已经醒了，不敢面对他的愤怒，不管他今天准备朝谁发火。
And we began where my dream had left off.
我们在梦中断的地方，继续了下去。
“How much trouble am I in?” I asked in a small voice.
“我又制造了多少麻烦？”我的声音低得像蚊子叫。
Carefully, I peeked through my eyelashes. He was staring up at the dark ceiling, his arms behind his head. I pulled myself up on my elbow so that I could see his face better. It was smooth, expressionless.
我眯缝着眼偷偷看去。他正枕在自己的手上，瞪着深色的天花板出神。我用手肘支起身体，这样可以更完全地看到他的脸。神情柔和但是没有表情。
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I am sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean… Well, I don’t know exactly what that was last night.” I shook my head at the memory of the irrational tears, the crushing grief.
我放心地舒了口气。“对不起，”我说。“我不是故意……额，我也不知道昨晚是怎么了。”没来由的泪水和令人窒息的悲痛，我摇了摇头。
“I guess I didn’t — but I sort of showed you what it was about.” I laughed nervously.
“我想我不能——但是我多少也以某种方式告诉了你。”我紧张得笑了笑。
“Heaps,” he said, but turned his head and smirked at me.
“一大堆，”他转过头来，笑嘻嘻地对着我。
“You never did tell me what your dream was about.”
“你还没有告诉我，你到底梦到了什么。”
“I’m thinking about it.”
“我还在考虑这个问题。”
“Oh,” he said. His eyes widened, and then he blinked. “Interesting.”
“哦，”他先张大了眼睛，随后又眨了一下。“很有趣。”
I sat up, planning to examine myself — there didn’t seem to be any feathers, at least. But as I moved, an odd wave of vertigo hit. I swayed and fell back against the pillows.
我坐起来，打算做个自我检查——至少没有羽毛。但是这个动作伴随着一阵奇怪的目眩，我晕晕乎乎又摔回枕头里。
“Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for your, er, nightgown.” He nodded toward the foot of the bed, where several scraps of black lace were strewn across the silk sheets.
“不幸的是，对你的睡衣（黑色蕾丝那件）我不能说同样的话。”他朝床脚方向点头示意，几截零碎的黑色蕾丝散落在丝绸床罩上。
I nodded sheepishly. “The pillows all appear to have survived.”
我怯懦地点点头。“所有的枕头都平安无事。”
“It was a very good dream,” I murmured. He didn’t comment, so a few seconds later I asked, “Am I forgiven?”
“这是一个美梦，”我自言自语。他没做评价，所以过了几秒钟我开口问到，“我被原谅了吗？”
“Twelve?” How strange.
“12小时？”太奇怪了。
“Whoa… head rush.”
“哇……头痛。”
I gave myself a quick once-over while I spoke, trying to be inconspicuous about it. I looked fine. The bruises on my arms were still a week old, yellowing. I stretched experimentally. I felt fine, too. Well, better than fine, actually.
我说话的时候顺便草草检查了一下，不想引起他的注意。我看上去不错，手臂上的瘀青都是一个星期前的，正在变黄。我又尝试伸展身体，感觉良好，事实上相当好。
His arms were around me then. “You slept for a long time. Twelve hours.”
他怀抱着我。“你睡了好久呢，12个钟头。”
“That’s too bad,” I said. “I liked that one.”
“那真是太不幸了，”我说。“我还挺喜欢那件的。”
“Is the inventory complete?”
“都检查清楚了？”
“What?” I demanded.
“干嘛？”我坚持要他回答。
“I’ll have to buy Esme a new bed frame,” he confessed, glancing over his shoulder. I followed his gaze and was shocked to see that large chunks of wood had apparently been gouged from the left side of the headboard.
“我还得赔给埃斯米一个新的床头板，”他快速撇了眼肩后，自首说。我顺着他的目光瞧去，吃惊地看到左侧的床头板已经很明显的被掰去一大块。
I stared at his face, searching for any signs of the anger or remorse I feared. He gazed back at me evenly, his expression calm but otherwise unreadable.
我注视着他的脸，试图探寻一点点我所害怕的发怒或者懊恼的痕迹。他平静地看着我，冷静的表情之外读不出任何内容。
“You look so guilty — like you’ve committed a crime.”
“你看上去充满了负罪感——好像你刚犯下某桩罪行。”
He touched my burning cheek and sighed. “I’m really going to miss that.”
他摸着我快烧起来的脸，轻叹说。“我会非常怀念这个的。”
“How are you feeling?” He laughed.
“你感觉怎么样？”他笑而不答。
My cheeks got hotter. “The word seduced implies a certain amount of premeditation.”
我的脸颊烧得更厉害了。“引诱这个词意味着一定程度的预谋。”
“Were there any other casualties?” I asked timidly.
“还有其他伤亡吗？”我羞怯地问。
“I was a bit absorbed,” I admitted, blushing a deep red.
“我只是有一点点集中注意力啦，”我还是承认了，脸色绛红。
“You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved.”
“当你全神贯注在其他事情上时，就完全不会注意到呢。”
“Hmm.” I frowned. “You’d think I would have heard that.”
“嗯。”我皱皱眉。“我怎么没听到声音呢。”
“I feel guilty,” I muttered.
“我是觉得过意不去。”我小声嘀咕。
“So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That’s not a capital offense.” He seemed to be teasing.
“你引诱的丈夫本就完全自愿，所以死罪可免。”他明显在戏弄我。
“I did, too.”
“我也是。”
He rolled his eyes.
他朝我使了个眼色。
He smiled ruefully. “I’m not angry.”
他委婉地笑笑。“我不生气。”
I cooked this morning, frying up some eggs — too hungry to do anything more elaborate. Impatient, I flipped them onto a plate after just a few minutes.
这天早晨我自己下厨了，煎了些鸡蛋——我太饿了以至于都不高兴做得精致点。没等上几分钟就失去耐心地把它们盛到了盘子里。
“If I don’t have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I’m demanding a refund.”
“如果我的后半辈子人生还是没办法获得一个良好的平衡感的话，我会要求退货的。”
“Well…” He paused. “I didn’t hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to channel the excesses.” His eyes flickered to the damaged frame again. “Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect.”
“额……”他停顿了一下。“我没有伤害到你，一根汗毛也没有。无论是控制自我还是疏导过度的力量方面，这次都容易多了。”他再次望了一眼被毁坏的床头板。“也许是因为我更加清楚会发生什么。”
“Maybe that was the wrong word,” he allowed.
“也许我们改换个更恰当的词。”他赞同地说。
My stomach growled, and he laughed. “Breakfast time for the human?” he asked.
我的胃又开始咆哮，他笑了起来。“又到了人类的早餐时间了？”
A hopeful smile started to spread across my face. “I told you that it was all about practice.”
希望的笑容在我脸上绽放。“我告诉过你要多练习。”
“Please,” I said, hopping out of bed. I moved too quickly, though, and had to stagger drunkenly to regain my balance. He caught me before I could stumble into the dresser.
“帮帮忙吧，”我说着翻身下床。但是我的动作太快了，不得不像醉汉一样踉踉跄跄地以保持平衡。他在我一头撞到梳妆台前接住了我。
“You’re not angry?”
“你不生气？”
“Are you all right?”
“你还好吧？”
“Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?” he asked.
“从什么时候开始你吃太阳蛋了？”他问我。
“Why not?”
“为什么不？”
“Since now.”
“从现在开始。”
I snorted. “It wasn’t a pretense, Edward. I don’t spend my free time plotting like some people do. What can we do to wear Bella out today?” I said in a poor impression of his voice. He laughed, unashamed.
我忿忿不平地说。“这不是借口，爱德华。我才不会像某人，花费自己的自由时间来想些阴谋诡计。今天该干些什么来消磨贝拉呢？”我拙劣地模仿着他的语气。他得意地笑了起来，完全没有悔意。
“Do you know how many eggs you’ve gone through in the last week?” He pulled the trash bin out from under the sink — it was full of empty blue cartons.
“你知不知道你光上个礼拜就吃掉了多少鸡蛋？”他从水槽下面拖出一个垃圾桶，里面装满了空的蓝色包装盒。
“Weird,” I said after swallowing a scorching bite. “This place is messing with my appetite.” And my dreams, and my already dubious balance. “But I like it here. We’ll probably have to leave soon, though, won’t we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too.”
“奇怪啊，”我又囫囵吞了一大口，然后说。“这个地方让我的胃口有些反常。”还有我的梦境，和我那本就勉强得可以的平衡感。“但是我还是喜欢这里，虽然我们大概马上就要离开，我们还要赶着去达特茅斯不是吗？哇哦，我猜我们还要找一处住所并安顿下来。”
He sat down next to me. “You can give up the college pretense now — you’ve gotten what you wanted. And we didn’t agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached.”
他在我旁边坐下。“你现在可以抛开那些大学的借口了——你已经得到了你想要的。而且我们本就不同意这样一个交易，所以没有任何附加义务了。”
“I really do want a little more time being human.” I leaned over to run my hand across his bare chest. “I have not had enough.”
“我是真的想多一些时间作为人类。”我前倾伸手抚上他裸露的胸膛。“我还没有体会够呢。”
He gave me a dubious look. “For this?” he asked, catching my hand as it moved down his stomach. “Sex was the key all along?” He rolled his eyes. “Why didn’t I think of that?” he muttered sarcastically. “I could have saved myself a lot of arguments.”
他将信将疑地看了我一眼。“就为了这个？”抓住我正在往他腹部探去的手。“性爱就是全部的关键吗？”他难以置信地睁大眼。“为什么我之前就没有想到呢？”他自嘲说。“我本可以用这个条件来使自己避免过去众多的争论。”
“We’re fine on time. A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee…”
“我们算准时间的话，还有几周吧，如果你想住下去的话。然后我们先回去看望查理，再动身去新罕布什尔州。我们可以和勒妮一起过圣诞节……”
“You bought a house?”
“你买了一幢房子了？”
“Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks.”
“对哦，上帝保佑我不会被坦克袭击。”
A hint of a smile pulled at his lips. “We’re going to Dartmouth? Really?”
他的嘴角向上翘起。“我们会去达特茅斯？真的吗？”
I raised one eyebrow and then let it go. “So we’re ready, then.”
我挑挑眉毛，决定放过他。“这样说的话，我们就已经准备妥当了。”
“I’ll have to see if we can keep your ‘before’ car for a little longer…”
“我准备再看看能不能把你那辆‘之前’的车保留得久一点……”
“You are so human,” he said again.
“你就是这样一个性情中人。”他再次发表了这样一番言论。
“Do you think we can find an apartment this late?”
“你觉得我们这么晚去还能找到公寓吗？”
I laughed. “Yeah, probably.”
我笑着说。“是啊，也许吧。”
“Real estate is a good investment.”
“不动产是一项不错的投资。”
He grimaced, looking guilty. “Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case.”
他故意装得愁眉苦脸，充满歉疚地说。“嗯，我们怎么说呢，已经在那里有一处房子了，你知道的，以防万一嘛。”
“I’ll tutor you.” The smile was wide now. “You’re going to love college.”
“我可以做你的家教，”笑容更灿烂了些。“你会爱上大学的。”
“I’ll probably fail out in one semester.”
“我第一个学期可能会挂科。”
“I know.”
“我知道。”
He grinned.
他咯咯地笑了。
“How much longer can we stay?” I asked.
“我们还能呆多久？”我问他。
His words painted a very happy immediate future, one free of pain for everyone involved. The Jacob-drawer, all but forgotten, rattled, and I amended the thought — for almost everyone.
他的话语为我描绘了一幅唾手可得的美好画卷，每个人都在其中，其乐融融。雅各布的抽屉已经差不多被遗忘了，只留下了小小的困扰。我修改我的话，几乎每个人都完满了。
“A few weeks,” I agreed. And then, because there never seemed to be enough time, I added, “So I was thinking — you know what I was saying about practice before?”
“几个星期，”我同意他的说法。借于时间似乎永远不够用，我补充说，“我正在想——你知道我之前说过的练习是什么，哦？”
This wasn’t getting any easier. Now that I’d discovered exactly how good being human could be, it was tempting to let my plans drift. Eighteen or nineteen, nineteen or twenty… Did it really matter? I wouldn’t change so much in a year. And being human with Edward… The choice got trickier every day.
这个选择并没有让事情变得简单。我既然发现作为人类有那么多好处，就意味着我的计划会被搁浅。18岁还是19岁，19岁还是20岁……有什么关系呢？一年之内我不可能会有太大的变化的。作为一名人类和爱德华生活在一起……这个选择正每一天变得微妙起来。
“I don’t want to go out. I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie.”
“我不想出去，不想又一整天徒步穿越岛屿。我想待在这里看看电影。”
He laughed. “Can you hold on to that thought? I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here.”
他笑了起来。“你能不能打住那个想法？我听见有船过来的声音。清洁工们一定已经到了。”
“Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. There’s a place in the jungle on the south –“
“让我先跟古斯塔沃解释下白色房间内的一团混乱，然后我们就出去。在岛的南部丛林里有个地方……”
He wanted me to hold on to that thought. So did that mean he was not going to give me any more trouble about practicing? I smiled.
他只是希望我打住，也就是说他不会再为我们的练习制造麻烦咯？我笑了。
He pursed his lips, trying not to laugh at my disgruntled tone. “All right, whatever you’d like. Why don’t you pick one out while I get the door?”
他抿紧了嘴，尽量不去取笑我的小性子。“好吧，随便你想干什么。我去开门的时候你干嘛不先挑一部呢？”
Edward led them into the room, pointing toward the kitchen on his way. The two Brazilians looked incredibly short and dark next to him. One was a round man, the other a slight female, both their faces creased with lines. Edward gestured to me with a proud smile, and I heard my name mixed in with a flurry of unfamiliar words. I flushed a little as I thought of the downy mess in the white room, which they would soon encounter.
爱德华领他们进到房间，一路上朝厨房指了指。他后面跟着两个极其矮小，皮肤黝黑的巴西人。其中一个是位壮实的男性，另一个是位较小的女性，两人脸上都布满了皱纹。爱德华冲我做了个手势，并露出自豪的笑容，我则听见自己的名字和一长串不熟悉的单词混杂在一起。我一想到他们就快要到白色房间，看到那一天世界的羽毛时，还是不自觉地一阵脸红。
“I didn’t hear a knock.”
“我还没听到敲门声呢。”
I could hear Edward’s low, velvet voice as he came back down the hall, conversing fluidly in what I assumed was perfect Portuguese. Another, harsher, human voice answered in the same tongue.
我听到爱德华低沉，天鹅绒质感的声音响起，操一口流利的葡萄牙语，一路回到了大厅。另一个人类的声音响起，同样的语言，但是听上去更为刺耳。
I wandered over to the shelves under the big TV and started scanning through the titles. It was hard to decide where to begin. They had more DVDs than a rental store.
我慢悠悠地向大屏幕电视下面的柜子踱去，开始检索电影片名。犹豫着该从哪部开始看好呢，他们家的DVD碟片比租赁店里的还要多。
But the tiny coffee-skinned woman didn’t smile. She stared at me with a mixture of shock, worry, and most of all, wide-eyed fear. Before I could react, Edward motioned for them to follow him toward the chicken coop, and they were gone.
但是那个咖啡色皮肤的小个子女人并没有笑。她投向我的眼神中很大比例是一种惊恐，还掺杂着震惊、担心的情感。在我还没来得及反应前，爱德华提醒他们跟着他去那个鸡窝，随后他们就离开了。
He cocked his head to the side, listening. A half second later, a faint, timid rap on the door sounded. He grinned and turned for the hallway.
他竖起耳朵，侧耳倾听。仅仅过了半秒钟，门口就响起一声微弱、怯生生的叩门声。他咧嘴一笑，转身想门廊走去。
The little man smiled at me politely.
那个矮小的男人冲我礼貌地笑了笑。
“What’s with her?” I whispered urgently, remembering her panicked expression.
“她怎么了？”我想起了她那惊恐的表情，于是急切地小声询问。
When he reappeared, he was alone. He walked swiftly to my side and wrapped his arms around me.
当他再次出现时已经一个人了。他迅速走到我身边，手臂环绕着我。
He shrugged, unperturbed. “Kaure’s part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitious — or you could call it more aware — than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough.”
他耸耸肩，一副不为所动的样子。“考尔有部分图库那印第安血统。她比大部分生活在现代都市中的人更迷信，或者你可以称之为更警惕。她在怀疑我的身份，差不多就这类事情。”
He still didn’t sound worried. “They have their own legends here. The Libishomen — a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women.” He leered at me.
他听上去并不担心。“他们在这里有自己的传说。他们认为Libishomen是一种专门吸食美貌女子鲜血的魔鬼。”他故意朝我看了一眼。
“She looked terrified,” I said.
“她看起来吓坏了。”我说。
Beautiful women only? Well, that was kind of flattering.
只限美貌女子？好吧，我喜欢这样的恭维。
“She is — but mostly she’s worried about you.”
“她确实如此——但是大部分她是在担心你。”
“Me?”
“我？”
“She’s afraid of why I have you here, all alone.” He chuckled darkly and then looked toward the wall of movies. “Oh well, why don’t you choose something for us to watch? That’s an acceptably human thing to do.”
“她担心为什么我带你来这儿，而且只有我们俩。”他阴沉地轻声笑起来，然后看着满满一墙壁的影碟，“哦，好吧，为什么你不挑一部电影，我们一块儿看呢？那是可以接受的人类事情。”
“Yes, I’m sure a movie will convince her that you’re human.” I laughed and clasped my arms securely around his neck, stretching up on my tiptoes. He leaned down so that I could kiss him, and then his arms tightened around me, lifting me off the floor so he didn’t have to bend.
“是的，我确信一部电影会让她相信你是人类的。”我大笑起来，双臂紧紧地钩住他的脖子，踮起脚尖站了起来。他弯下腰，这样我就能吻到他，接着他的胳膊紧紧地抱住我，把我从地板上抱了起来，这样他就不必弯腰了。
“She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn’t she?” I muttered.
“她在想我认为她在想什么，是不是？”我低声问道。
Then I heard a gasp, and he put me down abruptly. Kaure stood frozen in the hallway, feathers in her black hair, a large sack of more feathers in her arms, an expression of horror on her face. She stared at me, her eyes bugging out, as I blushed and looked down. Then she recovered herself and murmured something that, even in an unfamiliar language, was clearly an apology. Edward smiled and answered in a friendly tone. She turned her dark eyes away and continued down the hall.
接着我听见一声惊呼，他立即把我放了下来。考尔呆立在门厅中，一动不动，她黑色的头发上沾满了羽毛，胳膊上的羽毛更多，一脸恐惧的表情。她盯着我，两只眼睛鼓了出来，我脸一红，看着地面。接着她让自己镇定下来，喃喃地用我不熟悉的语言说了些什么，很显然是在道歉。她黑色的眼睛看向别处，继续往大厅走去。
“Very honeymoonish,” Edward approved.
“非常像度蜜月。”爱德华赞许道。
“Here,” I said, reaching out at random and grabbing a movie. “Put this on and we can pretend to watch it.”
“拿着，”我伸出手，随便抽出一张影碟“放这部吧，我们可以假装看电影”
He laughed at my convoluted sentence. “Yes.”
听见我绕嘴的句子，他大笑道：“是的。”
“Movie, see movie,” I muttered as his lips moved down my throat, twisting my fingers in his bronze hair.
“电影，看电影。”他的唇移到我的喉咙那里时，我轻声咕哝道，我的手指抓住他的金发。
While actors on the screen danced their way through a perky introduction song, I lolled on the sofa, snuggled into Edward’s arms.
演员们在屏幕上一边舞蹈，一边兴高采烈地唱着开幕曲，我慵懒地躺在沙发上，依偎在爱德华的臂弯里。
It was an old musical with smiling faces and fluffy dresses on the front.
这是一部老音乐剧，里面的人物个个满脸微笑，前襟上还有蓬松的装饰。
“Will we move back into the white room now?” I wondered idly.
“我们现在会搬回白色房间吗？”我懒洋洋地问道。
I smiled widely. “So there will be more destruction?”
我开怀一笑：“那么还会有更多的破坏啰”？
“I don’t know… I’ve already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair — maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday.”
“我不知道……我已经把另一个房间的床头板损坏得无法修理了——如果我们把破坏限定在房子里的一个地方，埃斯梅或许有一天还会邀请我们回来的。”
In truth, I’d already forgotten the people in the other room. “Right. Drat.”
老实说，我已经忘记了其他房间还有人在。“有道理，真讨厌！”
“Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we’re alone. You may not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them.”
“也许更礼貌地做法是等到我们单独两人了再说。你可能不会注意到我将家具撕成碎片，但是他们可能会被吓坏的。”
He laughed at my expression. “I think it might be safer if it’s premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again.”
他看见我的反应笑了笑。“我认为如果我们有计划地去做这件事，应该还是安全的。总好过我等着你来一个突然袭击。”
“Nope. Healthy as a horse.” I paused. “Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?”
“不，我健壮得像头牛。”我顿了一下。“你有没有想过现在去破坏现场做个调查啊？”
“It would only be a matter of time,” I agreed casually, but my pulse was racing in my veins.
“只是时间问题，”我随声附和，但是我的脉搏却让静脉曲张加速。
“Is there something the matter with your heart?”
“你是不是心脏有什么问题？”
Gustavo and Kaure moved quietly through the house while I waited impatiently for them to finish and tried to pay attention to the happily-ever-after on the screen. I was starting to get sleepy — though, according to Edward, I’d slept half the day — when a rough voice startled me. Edward sat up, keeping me cradled against him, and answered Gustavo in flowing Portuguese. Gustavo nodded and walked quietly toward the front door.
我不耐烦地等着两人结束清扫工作，并试图将注意力投向屏幕上那一尘不变的欢乐画面，古斯塔沃和考尔悄悄地穿过屋子准备离开时，我开始觉得睡意浓浓——虽然根据爱德华的说法，我已经睡了大半天了——粗哑刺耳的嗓音倒是让我睡意全无。爱德华坐了起来，仍然贴身搂着我，用流利的葡萄牙语回答了古斯塔沃。古斯塔沃点了点头，随后安静地走向了前门。
“And what was that?”
“是什么？”
“They’re finished,” Edward told me.
“他们结束了。”爱德华告诉我。
With a smile, he took my hand and led me to the kitchen. He knew my face so well, it didn’t matter that he couldn’t read my mind.
他心领神会地笑了笑，拉起我的手领我到了厨房。他太了解我的表情了，所以不难读出我的心思。
“Well, there’s an awful lot of headboard left –“
“恩，反正还有很多床头板剩下——”
“Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories.”
“也许晚些吧。我有另外一个方法可以消耗卡路里。”
“Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon — burn off the calories?” he asked.
“今天下午你想不想和海豚一起游个泳——来消耗卡路里？”他问说。
But I didn’t finish. He’d already swept me up into his arms, and his lips silenced mine as he carried me with inhuman speed to the blue room.
但是我还没说完。他就迫不及待得把我拉进他的怀中，抱着我以非常人的速度走向蓝色的房间，一路上我们的双唇无声地摩挲着。
“How about lunch first?” he suggested.
“何不先吃个午饭？”他建议说。
“So that would mean that we’re alone now?”
“这就意味着现在我们已经单独在一起了？”
I bit my lip, torn by the dilemma. I was pretty hungry.
我咬着嘴唇，进退两难。我已经饿扁了。
“This is getting out of hand,” I complained when I finally felt full.
“再这样下去就太没有节制了。”当我终于喂饱自己后发出了如上抱怨。
0 条评论