“No.” I was certain about that. “They’re going to be furious with me tonight, though.”
“不会，”我对这一点确信不疑，“不过，他们今晚会对我勃然大怒。”
Jacob chuckled once. “I forget what it’s like, not having everyone know everything all the time. Having a quiet, private place inside my head.”
雅各布咯咯地一笑：“我忘记那是什么样子了，不要所有的时候都让每一个人知道一切，在我的大脑中有一个安静私密的空间。”
“Is there a scandal?” I wondered.
“真的有什么丑事吗？”我好奇起来。
I didn’t answer. Jacob was probably right, and that made me grind my teeth together. Charlie’s blatant preference for my Quileute friends was so unfair. I wondered if he would feel the same if he knew the choice was really between vampires and werewolves.
我没有回答，雅各布或许是对的，这令我恨得牙痒痒的。查理对我的奎鲁特朋友们的盲目偏爱是那么不公平，我不知道如果他知道是要在吸血鬼和狼人之间作选择的话，他是否会和我感觉一样。
He picked up a rock and chucked it into the waves. “Don’t go back, then,” he suggested again.
他拾起一块石头，抛掷到海浪里去了，“那么，别回去了。”他又建议道。
“I bet he wouldn’t mind.”
“我打赌他不会介意的。”
“Oh.” He looked away.
“哦。”他又看着别处了。
Jacob skidded to a halt, and he stared down at me with shocked eyes.
雅各布猛地停了下来，他双眼惊讶地俯视着我。
“What? That was a joke.”
“怎么啦？我是开玩笑的。”
“So what’s the latest pack scandal?” I asked lightly.
“那么最近你们小团体又有什么丑事了？”我轻描淡写地问。
“Do you think they’ll come looking for you?” he asked, sounding hopeful.
“你认为他们会来找你吗？”他问道，听起来满怀希望。
“Charlie would love that,” I said sarcastically.
“查理倒是会很高兴的。”我讽刺地说道。
I waited for him to start walking again, but he seemed lost in thought.
我等他再走动起来，但是他似乎陷入了沉思。
We ended up on the beach again, wandering aimlessly. Jacob was still full of himself for engineering my escape.
我们最后又来到沙滩上，漫无目的地走来走去，雅各布仍然为设计我逃脱出来而得意洋洋。
Jacob started walking again. Without seeming to think about it, he reached out and took my hand. We paced silently across the rocks.
雅各布又开始走动了，他似乎想也没想就伸出手牵住我的手，我们默默无语地穿过岩石。
He hesitated for a moment, as if he weren’t sure how much he was going to tell me. Then he sighed and said, “Quil imprinted. That’s three now. The rest of us are starting to get worried. Maybe it’s more common than the stories say…” He frowned, and then turned to stare at me. He gazed into my eyes without speaking, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
他迟疑了片刻，仿佛他不确定该告诉我多少一样。接着他叹气道：“吉尔也经历了烙印。现在已经有三个了，我们剩下的几个人开始担心了。或许这种事比传说中的要普遍……”他皱着眉头，接着转身凝视着我。他注视着我没有说话，眉毛因为聚精会神而紧皱在一起。
We walked along the stony beach quietly for a few minutes.
我们安静地在布满卵石的沙滩上走了几分钟。
“Why is Quil’s imprinting such a scandal?” I asked when it didn’t look like he was going to go on. “Is it because he’s the newest one?”
“为什么吉尔经历了烙印是这么大的新闻？”看见他不像要继续说的样子，我问道，“是不是因为他刚刚加入？”
“What are you staring at?” I asked, feeling self-conscious.
“你在看什么？”我问道，感到有些不好意思。
“So what is it?” I finally asked. “That everyone in your head already knows?”
“那么是怎么回事呢？”我最后开口问道，“你头脑里所有人都知道的是什么？”
I thought of how we must look walking hand and hand down the beach — like a couple, certainly — and wondered if I should object. But this was the way it had always been with Jacob… No reason to get worked up about it now.
我想到我们手牵手地走向沙滩看起来会是怎样的——像一对情侣，当然啦——我不知道自己是否应该反对，但是这是雅各布一贯的作风……现在没有理由因此闹情绪。
He sighed. “Nothing.”
他叹了叹气：“没什么。”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“那么到底是什么问题？”
“It’s another one of those legend things. I wonder when we’re going to stop being surprised that they’re all true?” he muttered to himself.
“这是那些传说中的另一个，我不知道我们何时会停止惊讶它们都是真的？”他自言自语地嘀咕道。
“That doesn’t have anything to do with it.”
“跟这毫无关系。”
“Are you going to tell me? Or do I have to guess?”
“你打算告诉我吗？或者我得自己猜呢？”
“You’d never get it right. See, Quil hasn’t been hanging out with us, you know, until just recently. So he hadn’t been around Emily’s place much.”
“你永远都无法真的弄清楚。瞧，吉尔一直都没有和我们一起玩，你知道的，直到最近，所以他并没有经常到艾米莉家里去。”
“No! I told you not to guess. Emily had her two nieces down for a visit… and Quil met Claire.”
“不！我告诉过你别乱猜。艾米莉家的两个侄女儿过来看她……吉尔遇见了克莱尔。”
“Quil imprinted on Emily, too?” I gasped.
“吉尔也印在了艾米莉身上？”我大吃一惊。
He didn’t continue.
他没有继续讲。
But I could understand why she of all people might feel that way. I thought again of the long scars that marred her face and extended all the way down her right arm. Sam had lost control just once when he was standing too close to her. Once was all it took… I’d seen the pain in Sam’s eyes when he looked at what he’d done to Emily. I could understand why Emily might want to protect her niece from that.
但是我能理解在所有人当中她为什么会这么想，我又想起毁掉她容颜的那条长长的伤疤一直延伸到右胳膊上。山姆离她太近的时候有一次失去控制了，只要一次就会……我看见过山姆看着自己对艾米莉造成的伤害时他眼中的痛苦，我能理解艾米莉可能想要保护她的侄女不受到这样的伤害。
I thought about that for a moment. “Emily doesn’t want her niece with a werewolf? That’s a little hypocritical,” I said.
我想了一会儿才说道：“艾米莉不想她侄女跟狼人交往？那有点儿虚伪。”
I nodded cautiously.
我小心翼翼地点点头。
Jacob appraised me with narrowed eyes. “Try not to be judgmental, okay?”
雅各布眯着眼睛打量着我：“尽量不要发表个人观点，好吗？”
Rain started to fall. I blinked furiously as the drops pelted my face.
雨开始滴落下来，雨滴拍打在我脸上的时候我猛烈地眨眼睛。
“But she’s a baby,” I protested.
“但是她还是个小孩。”我抗议道。
I was trying my hardest not to be critical, but, in truth, I was horrified. Until now, nothing about the werewolves had bothered me since the day I’d found out they weren’t committing the murders I’d suspected them of.
我尽最大努力不要评论此事，但是，实际上，我感到很恐怖。直到现在，自从那一天我弄清楚他们没有做过我怀疑他们干过的谋杀事件，狼人们的事情没什么令我烦恼不安的。
“It happens.” Jacob shrugged. He bent to grab another rock and sent it flying out into the bay. “Or so the stories say.”
“这种事会发生，”雅各布耸耸肩，他弯下腰一把抓起另一块石头，把它抛向远处的海湾，“或者传说是这么讲的。”
“Would you please stop guessing? You’re way off. Emily doesn’t mind that part, it’s just, well, a little early.”
“请你停止猜测好吗？你扯得太远了。艾米莉不在乎这一点，只是，好吧，只是太早了一点儿。”
“I… don’t know what to say.”
“我……不知道该说什么。”
“Quil… imprinted… with a two-year-old.” I was finally able to ask.
“吉尔……烙印……在一个两岁的小孩身上？”我终于能够开口提问了。
“What do you mean early.”
“你说‘太早了’是什么意思？”
“Claire is two,” Jacob told me.
“卡莱尔才两岁。”雅各布告诉我。
He looked at me with dark amusement. “Quil’s not getting any older,” he reminded me, a bit of acid in his tone. “He’ll just have to be patient for a few decades.”
他看着我，既深沉又觉得好笑，“吉尔不会再长大了，”他提醒我，语气里有些酸酸的，“他只需要再耐心地等待几十年。”
Jacob waited in silence. He wore no jacket, as usual; the rain left a spatter of dark spots on his black T-shirt, and dripped through his shaggy hair. His face was expressionless as he watched mine.
雅各布默不作声地等待着。他没有穿夹克，和往常一样；雨水在他黑色的T恤衫上留下了黑色的水滴，从他蓬松的头发上流淌下来，他面无表情地看着我的脸。
“It’s not like that; you’ve got it all wrong,” Jacob defended his friend, suddenly vehement. “I’ve seen what it’s like, through his eyes. There’s nothing romantic about it at all, not for Quil, not now.” He took a deep breath, frustrated. “It’s so hard to describe. It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.”
“并不是那样的，你完全理解错了。”雅各布维护他的朋友，突然变得激动起来，“透过他的眼神，我看见过那是什么样子。完全没有什么浪漫之处，对吉尔不是，现在不是这样。”他深深地吸了一口气，感到很沮丧，“要描述清楚真的很困难。这和一见钟情不一样，真的，更像……引力作用。当你看见她的时候，突然不再是地球牵引你了。她也是这样，其他一切对她而言都不重要了。而且你会为她做任何事，成为她想要的一切……你变成她需要你做任何事你都会做的那种人，无论是保护者，还是情人，或者是朋友，抑或是兄弟。”
“Sorry,” I muttered. “But it sounds really creepy.”
“对不起，”我低声说，“但是这听起来真的很恐怖。”
“You’re making judgments,” he accused. “I can see it on your face.”
“你在作评论，”雅各布指责道，“我在你脸上看得出来。”
“Quil will be the best, kindest big brother any kid ever had. There isn’t a toddler on the planet that will be more carefully looked after than that little girl will be. And then, when she’s older and needs a friend, he’ll be more understanding, trustworthy, and reliable than anyone else she knows. And then, when she’s grown up, they’ll be as happy as Emily and Sam.” A strange, bitter edge sharpened his tone at the very end, when he spoke of Sam.
“吉尔会成为任何小孩曾拥有过的最好，最善良的大哥哥。在这个星球上，不会再有另一个蹒跚学步的小孩会比这个小姑娘得到更好的照顾。到那时，当她慢慢长大，需要朋友的话，他会成为在她认识的人当中最善解人意，最值得信赖，最靠得住的朋友。到她成年的时候，他们就会和艾米莉与山姆一样幸福。”讲到最后当他说起山姆时，他的语气变得尖锐起来，夹杂着一种奇怪而怨恨的愤怒。
He was silent for a few minutes. Unconsciously, we both walked slower, barely moving at all.
他沉默了一会儿，我们俩不知不觉地慢了下来，差不多停了下来。
“It’s not supposed to be,” he admitted. “But you have to see her — the one that’s supposedly meant for you.”
“不应该那样，”他承认，“但是你不得不遇见她——那个注定是你的另一半的人。”
“It’s not something you can control, is it?”
“这不是某种你能控制的事情，是不是？”
“Doesn’t Claire get a choice here?”
“难道克莱尔就没有选择了吗？”
“No, I haven’t,” he said in a low voice. He looked at my face with suddenly piercing eyes. “But I’ll never see anyone else, Bella. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else. Ask Quil or Embry. It drives them all crazy.”
“是的，没有，”他小声说道，他突然目光炽热地看着我的脸，“但是我再也不会遇见别人了，贝拉。我的眼里只有你，甚至当我闭上眼睛，想要看看别人的时候。问一问吉尔或者是安布里，这都令他们疯狂了。”
He sighed.
他叹了叹气。
“Of course. But why wouldn’t she choose him, in the end? He’ll be her perfect match. Like he was designed for her alone.”
“当然没有，但是到最后为什么她不会选择他？他会是她最完美的对象，就像他是专门为她自己量身定做的一样。”
“When do you think it will happen for you?” I asked quietly.
“你认为这种事什么时候会发生在你身上？”我平静地问道。
“We can’t all be freakishly strong,” I muttered.
“我们大家不可能异想天开的那么坚强。”我低声说。
We walked in silence for a moment, till I paused to toss a rock toward the ocean. It fell to the beach several meters short. Jacob laughed at me.
我们一言不发地走了一会儿，直到我停下来把一块石头向大海掷过去，不过它落在了离大海几米远的地方，雅各布嘲弄地冲我大笑。
“And you think that if you haven’t seen her yet, then she’s not out there?” I asked skeptically. “Jacob, you haven’t really seen much of the world — less than me, even.”
“那么你认为如果你还没遇见她，那么她就不会出现吗？”我怀疑地问道，“雅各布，很多事情你真的还没有经历过，甚至比我都还要少。”
His answer was flat and immediate. “Never.”
他的回答平淡而直接。“从来没有。”
He held up his hands. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I won’t be like that anymore. I’ll just be Jacob.”
他举起双手，“对不起，”他道歉说，“我不会再这样了，我只当雅各布。”
“You have the whole day off, right? The bloodsucker won’t be home yet.”
“你有一整天时间，是吗？那个吸血鬼还没有回家呢。”
“Maybe I’d better go home,” I whispered.
“或许我最好回家。”我轻声低语道。
“No!” he protested, surprised by this conclusion.
“不要！”他抗议道，听到这样的结论令他惊讶不已。
“By who? Charlie or the blood — or him.”
“谁不让？查理还是吸血——还是他？”
“Both.”
“两个人都不让。”
I sighed. “But if that’s what you’re thinking…”
我无可奈何地叹气说：“要是你确实是那么想的……”
“No offense intended,” he said quickly.
“不是故意冒犯的。”他飞快地说道。
“Don’t worry about me,” he insisted, smiling with deliberate cheer, too brightly. “I know what I’m doing. Just tell me if I’m upsetting you.”
“不要担心我，”他坚持说，故作开心地笑起来，笑得太过灿烂了，“我知道我在做什么。你只需要告诉我，我是不是让你不高兴了。”
Jacob grinned my grin, and he was suddenly the Jacob I missed the most, sunny and warm.
雅各布看着我笑起来，他也笑了起来，突然间他又变成了我最想念、最阳光、最温暖的雅各布。
“C’mon, Bella. Let’s go back to the house and get our bikes. You’ve got to ride a motorcycle regularly to keep it in tune.”
“来吧，贝拉。我们回到家里，然后开我们的摩托车。你得定期地骑摩托车，这样才能使它性能良好。”
We weren’t walking anymore. The only sound was of the waves beating against the shore. I couldn’t hear the rain over their roar.
我们不再散步了，唯一的声音是海浪拍打海岸的声音，我无法在海浪的咆哮声中听见雨声。
“Yes, I have the whole day. But, Jake…”
“是的，我有一整天时间，但是，杰克……”
“I don’t know…”
“我不知道……”
I glared at him.
我愤怒地盯着他。
I looked up at him again, and his eyes were anxious now.
我又抬头看着他，现在他的眼睛变得忧虑起来。
“I really don’t think I’m allowed.”
“我真的不认为我会被允许骑。”
I dropped my eyes to the rocks.
我的视线垂落到岩石上。
I couldn’t help grinning back.
我也情不自禁地对他莞尔一笑。
“I won’t tell anyone,” he promised.
“我不会告诉别人的。”他保证。
He shook his head soberly and raised his right hand. “I promise not to think about it.”
他严肃地摇摇头，举起右手说：“我保证不去想这件事。”
The rain softened, turned to mist.
雨小了，变成濛濛细雨了。
“Except every one of your friends.”
“除了你所有的朋友们。”
I laughed. “If I get hurt, it was because I tripped.”
我大笑着说：“要是我受伤了，是因为我摔跤了。”
“This is nice,” I commented when he pulled the warm sodas from the grocery bag. “I’ve missed this place.”
“真好，”他从食品袋里拿出温暖的汽水的时候，我发表看法说，“我很想念这个地方。”
He smiled, looking around at the plastic sheds bolted together over our heads. “Yeah, I can understand that. All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India.”
他微笑着，环顾了一下我们头顶上铆在一起的塑料雨篷：“是的，我了解这一点。这里有泰姬陵的金碧辉煌，但是却不需要大费周折地花钱跑到印度去。”
We rode our motorcycles on the back roads around La Push until the rain made them too muddy and Jacob insisted that he was going to pass out if he didn’t eat soon. Billy greeted me easily when we got to the house, as if my sudden reappearance meant nothing more complicated than that I’d wanted to spend the day with my friend. After we ate the sandwiches Jacob made, we went out to the garage and I helped him clean up the bikes. I hadn’t been here in months — since Edward had returned — but there was no sense of import to it. It was just another afternoon in the garage.
我们在拉普西附近偏僻的公路上骑摩托车，一直骑到雨水使路面太泥泞为止，雅各布一再说他要是不赶紧吃点儿东西的话就要饿死了。我们到家的时候比利轻松地和我打招呼，好像我突然再次出现没什么复杂的原因，只不过是想和我的朋友一起玩一天一样。吃完雅各布做的三明治之后，我们来到车库，我帮助他擦干净摩托车。我有好几个月都没来这里了——自从爱德华回来后——但是这没什么大不了的，这不过是我在车库里度过的另一个下午罢了。
“Whatever you say.”
“随你怎么说。”
“Do you remember last Valentine’s Day? I think that was the last time you were here — the last time when things were still… normal, I mean.”
“你还记得去年的情人节吗？我想那是你最后一次在这里——最后一次当一切都还是……正常的时候，我的意思是。”
He laughed with me. “That’s right. Hmm, servitude. I’ll have to think of something good.”
他和我一起大笑起来，“对极了，嗯，奴役。我得想想好的一面。”
He touched his can to mine.
他用他的罐子碰了碰我的。
“To Washington’s little Taj Mahal,” I toasted, holding up my can.
“为华盛顿的小泰姬陵干杯。”我举起罐子敬酒。
I couldn’t agree with him. This was my happy era now. But I was surprised to realize how many things I missed from my own personal dark ages. I stared through the opening at the murky forest. The rain had picked up again, but it was warm in the little garage, sitting next to Jacob. He was as good as a furnace.
我无法赞同他的观点。现在看来那时候是我开心的时代，但是我惊讶地意识到在我个人的黑暗时代里我错过了多少东西。我透过那片空地凝视着烟雾弥漫的森林，雨又下大了，不过，坐在雅各布旁边，这个小小的车库却很温暖，他和火炉一样棒。
I laughed. “Of course I remember. I traded a lifetime of servitude for a box of conversation hearts. That’s not something I’m likely to forget.”
我大笑起来：“我当然记得啦。我用一生的奴役换得了一盒亲近的心。那可不是什么我可能忘记的东西。”
Then he sighed. “It feels like it was years ago. Another era. A happier one.”
接着他叹气道，“感觉就像几年前一样，另一个时代，一个更开心的时代。”
His fingers brushed my hand. “Things have really changed.”
他用手指摩挲着我的头发：“一切真的都变了。”
“Yeah,” I said, and then I reached out and patted the back tire of my bike. “Charlie used to like me. I hope Billy doesn’t say anything about today…” I bit my lip.
“是啊，”我说，接着我伸出手，拍了拍我的摩托车的后轮胎，“查理以前一直很喜欢我。我希望比利不要对他说起今天的事情……”我咬住嘴唇。
He looked at me hopefully, his wet, tangled black hair sticking up in every direction around his pleading face.
他满心希望地看着我，湿漉漉的黑头发凌乱地沾在他的脸上，到处都是。
“I’m really, really sorry.”
“我真的，真的很抱歉。”
“You know that day, when I brought the bike over… I’ve been wanting to ask you something,” he said slowly. “But also… not wanting to.”
“你知道那天，当我把车拖回来的时候……我一直想要问你一些事情，”他缓慢地说着，“但是我又……不想问。”
“He won’t. He doesn’t get worked up about things the way Charlie does. Hey, I never did apologize officially for that stupid move with the bike. I’m real sorry about ratting you out to Charlie. I wish I hadn’t.”
“他不会，他不会和查理一样容易激动。嘿，我从未正式地为摩托车所干的蠢事道过歉，我真的很抱歉向查理出卖你，真希望我从来都没做过这件事。”
“Thanks, Bells!”
“谢谢，贝儿！”
I rolled my eyes. “Me, too.”
我骨碌碌地转了转眼睛：“我也希望你没有。”
He glared at me. “You know. When you said it was none of my business… if — if he bit you.” He cringed visibly at the end.
他满眼怒火地盯着我：“你知道。当你说不管我的事的时候……如果——如果他咬了你。”说到最后他明显的有些害怕了。
“Oh, fine! You’re forgiven.”
“噢，好吧！你被宽恕了。”
I held very still — a reaction to stress. It was a habit I’d picked up from Edward.
我一动不动——一紧张我就这样，这是我从爱德华那里学来的习惯。
“Were you just being stubborn because you were mad at me, or were you really serious?” he whispered.
“你是因为你生我气而固执，还是真的很认真？”他低声说。
“About what?” I whispered back, though I was sure I knew what he meant.
“关于什么事？”我小声地回应他，尽管我确定我知道他的意思。
We grinned at each other for a second, and then his face clouded over.
我们两个人看着彼此笑了一会儿，接着他的脸又布满了愁云。
He was trembling just slightly. His eyes stayed closed.
他稍微有些颤抖，一直紧闭双眼。
“Yes,” I whispered.
“是的。”我低声说。
Jacob inhaled, slow and deep. “I guess I knew that.”
雅各布慢慢地，深深地吸了一口气：“我猜你会这样回答。”
“Jake…” My throat felt swollen. I couldn’t finish.
“杰克……”我的喉咙像塞了什么东西一样，没法继续说下去。
I stared at his face, waiting for his eyes to open.
我盯着他的脸，等待着他张开眼睛。
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Were you serious?”
他闭上眼睛，深深地吸了一口气：“你是认真的吗？”
“You know what this will mean?” He demanded suddenly. “You do understand that, don’t you? What will happen if they break the treaty?”
“你知道那将意味着什么？”他突然责问道，“你确实了解，是不是？要是他们打破协约，会发生什么事？”
“But, Jake, didn’t you break the treaty already?” I asked, grasping at straws. “Wasn’t part of it that you not tell people about the vampires? And you told me. So isn’t the treaty sort of moot, anyhow?”
“但是，杰克，难道你们没有打破协约吗？”我抓住救命稻草问道，“难道协约中不是有一条是你们不能告诉别人有关吸血鬼的事情吗？而你告诉了我。所以，不管怎么样，协约不是还有讨论的余地吗？”
His eyes flashed open, their black depths full of anger and pain. “There wasn’t a geographic limit to the treaty, Bella. Our great-grandfathers only agreed to keep the peace because the Cullens swore that they were different, that humans weren’t in danger from them. They promised they would never kill or change anyone ever again. If they go back on their word, the treaty is meaningless, and they are no different than any other vampires. Once that’s established, when we find them again –“
他倏地睁开眼睛，深邃的黑眸充满愤怒与痛苦：“协约是没有地域限制的，贝拉。我们的曾祖父们同意和平共处，只是因为卡伦家族发誓他们不一样，人类靠近他们不会有危险，他们保证永远不会再杀死或改变任何人。如果他们违背誓言，协约就毫无意义了，他们与其他的吸血鬼就没什么两样了。一旦这一条成立，当我们再发现他们——”
“We’ll leave first,” I said in a small voice.
“我们会先离开的。”我声若蚊蝇地说道。
He made it sound so inevitable. I shuddered.
他使之听起来如此不可避免，我畏惧了。
He blinked rapidly, his fierce expression melting in surprise. “Why? We still have a few years. Can’t we be friends until we’re out of time?”
他迅速地眨了眨眼睛，激动的表情融化成惊讶：“为什么？我们还有几年的时间。难道我们在彼此合不来之前不能做朋友吗？”
The silence after his declaration felt very loud.
在他这番宣言之后，随之而来的沉默变得非常响亮。
“Is this goodbye then, Jake?”
“那么这是再见嘛，杰克？”
“You won’t be Bella anymore,” he told me. “My friend won’t exist. There’ll be no one to forgive.”
“你就不再是贝拉了，”他告诉我，“我的朋友就不存在了，就没有人需要原谅了。”
“Jake, it doesn’t have to be that way.”
“杰克，没必要这么做。”
“That sounds like a no,” I whispered.
“这听起来像个‘不’字。”我低声道。
We faced each other for an endless moment.
我们直视着对方，默不作声过了很久很久。
Jacob didn’t like the reminder; the pain in his eyes hardened into animosity. “Yeah, I broke the treaty — back before I believed any of it. And I’m sure they were informed of that.” He glared sourly at my forehead, not meeting my shamed gaze. “But it’s not like that gives them a freebie or anything. There’s no fault for a fault. They have only one option if they object to what I did. The same option we’ll have when they break the treaty: to attack. To start the war.”
雅各布不喜欢提起此事，他眼里的痛苦坚硬起来，变成了仇恨：“是的，我打破了协约——在我相信这些事情之前，而且我确定他们也知道这一点。”他厌恶地盯着我的额头，没有正视我羞愧的眼神，“但是这并不是免费给他们的赠品，抑或是类似的东西，对于曾犯下的过错怎么报复都不为过。他们只有一个选择，要是他们反对我所做过的事情的话。他们若打破协约我们同样只有一个选择：攻击他们，发动战争。”
His teeth ground together. “It is that way.”
他咬牙切齿地说道：“就是这样。”
“Will you never forgive me, Jacob?” I whispered. As soon as I said the words, I wished I hadn’t. I didn’t want to hear his answer.
“你永远都不会原谅我吗，雅各布？”我轻声问道。这些话一说出口，我就希望我没说，我不想听见他的答案。
He opened his eyes. They were beyond fury now.
他睁开眼睛，现在它们已经不再狂怒了。
“Years? No, Jake, not years.” I shook my head, and laughed once without humor. “Weeks is more accurate.”
“几年？不，杰克，不是几年。”我摇摇头，毫无幽默感地笑了一笑，“几个星期倒是更准确。”
“Jake!” I started to complain, but I fell silent when I realized that his whole body was quivering with anger. He glared at me wildly, a growling sound building in his chest.
“杰克！”我开始抱怨，但是当我意识到他整个身体都气得开始颤抖时，我马上沉默不语了。他激动地怒视着我，胸腔里升腾起一阵咆哮。
I froze in place, too shocked to remember how to move.
我呆呆地僵在那里，太惊诧而不记得如何移动了。
The shaking rolled through him, getting faster, until it looked like he was vibrating. His shape blurred…
颤抖涌遍了他的全身，他抖得越来越快，直到看起来他就在摇摆一样，他的身体变得模糊不清了……
I couldn’t respond; I was still frozen.
我无法回答，仍然僵直地立在那里。
“Weeks,” Jacob said in a flat monotone.
“几个星期。”雅各布干巴巴地说。
“He’s going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks.” Jacob hissed through his teeth.
“他打算在几个星期内把你变成肮脏的吸血鬼！”雅各布从牙缝中吐出这句话。
And then Jacob gritted his teeth together, and the growling stopped. He squeezed his eyes tight in concentration; the quivering slowed until only his hands were shaking.
接着雅各布紧紧地咬紧牙关，咆哮停止了，他聚精会神，紧紧地眯起眼睛，颤抖逐渐放慢了，直到只剩下他的双手还在抖动。
I was not expecting his reaction.
我没有想到他的反应。
He was suddenly on his feet, and there was a loud pop as the soda can exploded in his hand.
他突然站了起来，汽水罐在他手中爆裂时发出嘭的一声巨响。
Soda flew everywhere, soaking me, like it was spraying from a hose.
汽水溅得到处都是，浸湿了我的衣服，就好像水从水管里喷涌出来一样。
His face turned green under the russet skin.
他的脸在赤褐色的皮肤下都气绿了。
“Of course, Jake,” I whispered after a long minute of silence. “He’s seventeen, Jacob. And I get closer to nineteen every day. Besides, what’s the point in waiting? He’s all I want. What else can I do?”
“当然了，杰克，”沉默了许久之后我低语道，“他永远只有十七岁，雅各布，而我每天都在向十九岁靠近。此外，为什么还要等待呢？他就是我想要的全部，难道我还能做其他的什么吗？”
Too stunned to take offense at his words, I just nodded mutely.
我只是木讷地点点头，太不知所措而不能反驳他的话了。
I recoiled like he’d slapped me. It hurt worse than if he had.
我后退一步，就好像被他掴了一掌一样，这比他打我还受伤。
I’d meant that as a rhetorical question.
我认为这是一个反问句。
His words cracked like snaps of a whip. “Anything. Anything else. You’d be better off dead. I’d rather you were.”
他的话语噼里啪啦地响起来就像抽鞭子一样：“任何事，任何其他的事情。你死掉会更好，我宁愿你死了。”
“Maybe you’ll get lucky,” I said bleakly, lurching to my feet. “Maybe I’ll get hit by a truck on my way back.”
“或许你会很走运，”我阴郁地说道，东倒西歪地站了起来，“或许我在回去的路上就会被卡车撞死。”
And then, as the pain shot through me, my own temper burst into flame.
接着，当痛苦涌遍我的全身，我自己的脾气也爆发了。
I got absolutely soaked as I sped across the slick highway toward the Cullens’ house. The wind felt like it was freezing the rain against my skin, and my teeth were chattering before I was halfway there.
我穿越平坦的高速公路，加速开往卡伦家的时候全身湿透了。风就像要把雨水冷冻在我的皮肤上一样，我还没走一半路就冻得牙齿直打战了。
I grabbed my motorcycle and pushed it out into the rain. He didn’t move as I passed him. As soon as I was on the small, muddy path, I climbed on and kicked the bike to life. The rear tire spit a fountain of mud toward the garage, and I hoped that it hit him.
我抓住摩托车，把它推进了雨里，我从他身边经过时他动也没动。我一走上那天狭窄泥泞的小道，就爬上摩托车发动了引擎。车后胎往车库的方向喷出一阵泥巴，我真希望泥巴溅在他身上了。
She nodded in assent, but her eyes were raging with curiosity.
她默认地点了点头，但是她的眼睛里充满好奇的火焰。
I went to bed early that night, curling up on his sofa again.
那天晚上我很早就上床了，又蜷缩在他的沙发上。
“Sorry,” I spit through my rattling teeth.
“对不起。”我从嘎吱作响的牙缝中吐出这句话来。
“You look like you could use a hot shower,” she said, offhand, as she sprang lightly to her feet.
“你看起来好像冲过热水澡似的。”她说着立即轻松地站了起来。
I walked the bike into the Cullens’ cavernous garage and was unsurprised to find Alice waiting for me, perched lightly on the hood of her Porsche. Alice stroked the glossy yellow paint.
我把摩托车推到卡伦家的洞穴似的车库里，一点也不奇怪爱丽丝在那里等我，她轻松自如地蹲在保时捷的引擎罩上，轻轻地抚摸着车身闪闪发光的黄色油漆。
“Thanks,” she sighed in relief.
“谢谢。”她不相信地叹气说。
“Yep.”
“是的。”
She pursed her lips, taking in my expression carefully. “Do you want to talk about it?”
她嘟起嘴巴，仔细地端详我的脸色：“你想谈谈这是怎么回事吗？”
“Never mind, Alice,” I said. “I’ll stay if it makes things easier for you.”
“别担心，爱丽丝，”我说，“如果这让你更好做人的话，我会留下来的。”
Motorcycles were too impractical for Washington. I would sell the stupid thing first chance I got.
摩托车在华盛顿州太不实用了，我一有机会一定把这个蠢东西卖掉。
“Do you want to go to Olympia tonight?”
“今晚你想去奥林匹亚吗？”
“Not really. Can’t I go home?”
“真的不想，难道我不能回家吗？”
She grimaced.
她做了个鬼脸。
“Nope.”
“不想。”
“I haven’t even had a chance to drive it.” She sighed.
“我甚至都没有机会开这辆车。”她叹着气说。
It was still dark when I woke. I was groggy, but I knew it wasn’t near morning yet. My eyes closed, and I stretched, rolling over. It took me a second before I realized that the movement should have dumped me onto the floor. And that I was much too comfortable.
我醒来的时候天仍然是黑的，我头昏眼花，但是我知道还没到早上。我双眼紧闭，伸展四肢，翻了个身。过了好一会儿我才意识到刚才那一动差点儿就让我掉在地上，要那样就太舒服了。
I tensed, waiting for the fury — both his and mine — but it was only quiet and calm in the darkness of his room. I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a separate fragrance from the perfume of his breath; the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didn’t consciously notice until it was removed.
我一阵紧张，等待着怒火——他的和我的——但是在他漆黑一片的房间里只有安详和平静。我几乎能够品尝到空气里重逢的甜蜜，从他呼出的香气中闻到一缕分别的芬芳；当我们分开时那种空洞的感觉留下了它的余味，那是一种直到它被抹去之后我才有意识地留意到的东西。
There was no friction in the space between us. The stillness was peaceful — not like the calm before the tempest, but like a clear night untouched by even the dream of a storm.
我们两人之间没有摩擦，这种静止是宁静的——不像暴风雨来临前的平静，而像就算梦到暴风雨也不会改变的清澈的夜晚。
And I didn’t care that I was supposed to be angry with him. I didn’t care that I was supposed to be angry with everyone. I reached out for him, found his hands in the darkness, and pulled myself closer to him.
平心而论，我本应该生他的气，我本应该生所有人的气，可是现在我管不了那么多了，我向他伸出手，在黑暗中找到他的手，让自己靠他更近一些。
“Sorry,” he murmured so softly that his voice was part of the darkness. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“对不起，”他低语得如此轻柔以至于他的声音都融入了这片漆黑，“我没想吵醒你。”
His arms encircled me, cradling me to his chest. My lips searched, hunting along his throat, to his chin, till I finally found his lips.
他双臂环抱着我，把我揽入怀中。我的嘴唇顺着他的喉咙、下巴一路寻找，直到最后我找到他的唇。
I rolled back over, trying to see. It was darker than last night — the clouds were too thick for the moon to shine through.
我又翻了个身，想看清楚。比昨天晚上还要黑——云层太厚了，月光无法穿透。
Edward kissed me softly for a moment, and then he chuckled.
爱德华温柔地吻了我一会儿，接着他轻轻地笑了起来。
My breath was becoming uneven. “Maybe in the morning.”
我的呼吸变得不均匀起来：“或许等到早上。”
“Mmm,” I agreed, tightening my arms around his neck.
“哦。”我认同他的看法，双臂紧紧地搂住他的脖子。
“I’ll wait as long as you want,” he whispered against my lips. His fingers knotted in my hair.
“不管你想要多久我都会等着的。”他在我的嘴唇边呢喃，手指头穿过了我的发丝。
“I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often.”
“我本来一腔愤怒准备羞辱一下大灰熊的，这就是我所得到的吗？我应该多惹你生气。”
“That’s a very good thing.”
“这是件好事。”
“Whatever you prefer.”
“只要你喜欢，什么都可以。”
“Welcome home,” I said while his cold lips pressed under my jaw. “I’m glad you came back.”
“欢迎回家，”他冰冷的嘴唇压在我的下巴上的时候我说道，“我很高兴你回来了。”
“Give me a minute to work up to it,” I teased, kissing him again.
“给我一点时间酝酿一下。”我捉弄道，又开始吻他。
His hand curved around my elbow, moving slowly down my arm, across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my hip and down my leg, around my knee. He paused there, his hand curling around my calf. He pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip.
他的手握住我的胳膊肘，慢慢地向我的手臂移动，划过我的肋骨，我的腰，沿着我的臀部一直滑到我的腿上，在我的膝盖上游移。他在那儿停了下来，用手握住我的小腿，突然往上一拉我的腿，套在他的臀部。
I stopped breathing. This wasn’t the kind of thing he usually allowed. Despite his cold hands, I felt suddenly warm. His lips moved in the hollow at the base of my throat.
我停止了呼吸，这可不是他平时允许做的事情。尽管他的手很冰冷，我突然感到热血沸腾起来，他的嘴唇在我咽喉根部移动。
“It’s unnecessary,” I managed to gasp.
“没有必要。”我总算气喘吁吁地说出来。
Before I could answer, before I could even concentrate enough to make sense of his words, he rolled to the side, pulling me on top of him. He held my face in his hands, angling it up so that his mouth could reach my throat. My breathing was too loud — it was almost embarrassing, but I couldn’t care quite enough to be ashamed.
在我能回答之前，在我甚至能集中足够的精力弄明白他的话之前，他翻了个身侧躺着，一把把我拉到他身上。他双手捧住我的脸，用手腕托住它，这样他的嘴巴就能够到我的喉咙了。我的呼吸声太大了——几乎令人非常尴尬，不过我根本顾不上在乎这一点，更别说难为情了。
“Not to bring on the ire prematurely,” he whispered, “but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?”
“永远都不要愤怒，”他轻轻地私语着，“不过你介意告诉我你反感那张床是怎么回事吗？”
“The bed?” he asked again. “I think it’s nice.”
“那张床？”他又问道，“我想它很不错。”
He pulled my face back to his, and my lips shaped themselves around his. Slowly this time, he rolled till he hovered over me. He held himself carefully so that I felt none of his weight, but I could feel the cool marble of his body press against mine. My heart was hammering so loudly that it was hard to hear his quiet laughter.
他把我的脸拉过来靠近他的脸，我的嘴唇自然而然地吻住了他的唇。这一次慢慢地，他滚动着身体直到悬在我上方。他小心翼翼地支撑着自己，这样我就感觉不到他的体重，但是我仍然能感觉到压在我身上的他那冰冷得像大理石一样的身体。我的心怦怦地跳动着，声音之大让我难以听见他静静的笑声。
“That’s debatable,” he disagreed. “This would be difficult on a couch.”
“那可是可以讨论的，”他不这么认为，“这在睡椅上可不容易噢。”
Cold as ice, his tongue lightly traced the shape of my lips.
像冰一样冷，他的舌头轻轻地沿着我的嘴唇的形状一一吻过。
My head was spinning — the air was coming too fast and shallow.
我的头一阵眩晕——空气来得太快，太薄了。
“Did you change your mind?” I asked breathlessly. Maybe he’d rethought all his careful rules. Maybe there was more significance to this bed than I’d originally guessed. My heart pounded almost painfully as I waited for his answer.
“你改变主意了吗？”我问他，几乎喘不过气来，或许他已经重新考虑了他那些谨慎的规则了。或许这张床的意义比我原先想的要多呢。等待他的回答时，我的心几乎蹦得疼痛起来了。
Edward sighed, rolling back so that we were on our sides again.
爱德华叹了叹气，翻身回到原处，这样我们又都侧躺着了。
“Too late,” I muttered. “And I like the bed,” I added.
“太迟了，”我低声说，“我喜欢这张床。”我补充道。
“Good.” I could hear the smile in his voice as he kissed my forehead. “I do, too.”
“好极了，”他吻我的额头时我能听见他声音中的微笑，“我也喜欢。”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Bella,” he said, disapproval strong in his voice — clearly, he understood what I meant. “I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don’t seem to like. Don’t get carried away.”
“别傻了，贝拉，”他说，声音里充满强烈的不认同——显然，他明白了我的意思，“我只不过是在努力向你展示这张你似乎不太喜欢的床的好处，不要太激动了。”
“But I still think it’s unnecessary,” I continued. “If we’re not going to get carried away, what’s the point?”
“但是我还是觉得它是不必要的，”我继续说，“如果我们不打算太兴奋，有什么意义呢？”
“I like danger,” I insisted.
“我喜欢危险。”我坚持。
He sighed again. “For the hundredth time, Bella — it’s too dangerous.”
他又叹气道：“我要说第一百次，贝拉——这太危险了。”
“I know.” There was a sour edge to his voice, and I realized that he would have seen the motorcycle in the garage.
“我知道。”他的语气有些不悦的酸意，我意识到他可能已经看见车库里的摩托车了。
“I’ll tell you what’s dangerous,” I said quickly, before he could move to a new topic of discussion. “I’m going to spontaneously combust one of these days — and you’ll have no one but yourself to blame.”
“我会告诉你什么是危险的，”在他还没来得及转换话题时，我飞快地说道，“这些天说不定哪天我就自燃了——而你就只能责怪自己而不是别人了。”
“You were angry with me, remember?”
“你之前生我的气，还记得吗？”
“That’s probably a bad idea. You’re not the only one who gets carried away.”
“那很可能是个坏主意，你不是唯一一个会失去控制的人。”
“For what?”
“为什么？”
“Can I apologize?”
“我能道歉吗？”
He chuckled. “You have no idea, Bella. It doesn’t help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either.”
他咯咯地笑了起来：“你不知道，贝拉，你那么迫不及待地想要摧毁我的自制力，这样做不会有什么好处的。”
“What are you doing?” I objected, clinging to him.
“你在干什么？”我反对道，紧紧地抓住他。
“No, I’m not. I don’t mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again.”
“不，我不累，我不介意你是否想要让我再产生错误的印象。”
“I’m sorry. I was wrong. It’s much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here.” His arms tightened around me. “I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don’t think I’ll go so far again. It’s not worth it.”
“我很抱歉，我错了。当我让你安全地待在这里的时候，妥当地看待问题就容易多了。”他的胳膊紧紧地抱着我，我试着离开你的时候就会有些发狂，我想我不会再那么夸张了，不值得那样。”
“Actually, it was very, very nice.”
“实际上，那样非常、非常好。”
He took a deep breath. “Aren’t you tired? I should let you sleep.”
他深深地吸了一口气：难道你不累吗？我应该让你睡觉。”
“I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you unhappy. That wasn’t nice.”
“很抱歉我让你产生错误的印象，”他说道，我没想让你不高兴，那样可不好。”
“I’m not going to apologize for that.”
“我不打算为此道歉。”
“I can handle it,” I insisted.
“我做得到。”我坚持。
“Yes, I am,” I grumbled.
“是的，我是。”我嘟囔着说。
He let me worm myself back into the circle of his arms.
他让我自己像虫子一样慢悠悠地靠近他的怀抱。
“Protecting you from combustion. If this too much for you…”
“保护你以防止你失去理智啊，要是这对你而言太过了的话……”
He started to push me away.
他开始把我推开。
“Oh, that.”
“噢，那件事啊。”
“What do you have to apologize for?”
“你为什么要道歉？”
It sounded like he really meant it.
听起来他真的是认真的。
“Aren’t you mad at me?” I asked blankly.
“难道你不生我的气吗？”我一脸茫然地问。
“Yes,” I agreed.
“是的。”我也这么觉得。
“Your turn?” his voice was confused.
“轮到你？”他的语气中充满迷惑不解。
“Of course not. It was a gift.”
“当然不会，这是给她的礼物。”
“Okay,” I said easily. He was already forgiven. “But slumber parties do have their advantages…” I curled myself closer to him, pressing my lips into the indentation over his collarbone. “You can hold me hostage any time you want.”
“好的，”我轻松地说道，他已经被宽恕了，但是睡衣晚会的确有好处……”我蜷缩起来向他靠近，把嘴唇压在他的锁骨窝上，你任何时候都可以囚禁我。”
“So is it my turn now?”
“那么现在轮到我了吗？”
“Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I’m sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea.”
“不，我找到了，实际上，还是不值得忧心忡忡。不过，我很抱歉我让爱丽丝囚禁你，那是个坏主意。”
“Mmm,” he sighed. “I may take you up on that.”
“哦，”他叹了叹气，“我可能会接受你这个提议的哦。”
I felt my eyebrows pull together. “Didn’t you see Alice when you got home?”
我感到我的眉毛紧皱在一起：难道你回家的时候没看见爱丽丝？”
“To apologize.”
“道歉。”
“No.”
“不。”
I wished I could see his expression. His voice sounded as if I’d insulted him.
我希望我能看见他的表情，他的声音听起来好像我侮辱了他一样。
I smiled. “Didn’t you find any mountain lions?”
我微笑着说：“难道你没有找到美洲狮吗？”
“Are you going to take her Porsche back?”
“你打算收回她的保时捷吗？”
“Yes — why?”
“看见了——为什么？”
“I won’t do it again.”
“我不会再这么做了。”
“Don’t you want to know what I did?” I asked, starting to be puzzled by his apparent lack of concern.
“难道你不想知道我做过什么吗？”我问道，开始被他缺少关心的样子弄糊涂了。
I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes, totally content.
我把头靠在他的胸膛上，闭上眼睛，感到完完全全地心满意足了。
“I know.”
“我知道。”
I felt him shrug. “I’m always interested in everything you do — but you don’t have to tell me unless you want to.”
我感觉他耸了耸肩：我一直对你所做的一切事情都很感兴趣——但是你不必告诉我，除非你想说的话。”
“So did I.”
“我也逃了。”
I stared toward the sound of his voice, tracing his features with my fingers, trying to understand his mood. “Where did all this tolerance come from?” I demanded.
我盯着他声音传来的方向，用手指抚摸他脸的轮廓，想弄清楚他的心情。这种宽容从何而来啊？”我追问道。
“And… most importantly… I’m not willing to let this drive a wedge between us.”
“而且……更重要的是……我不愿意让这件事造成我们之间有裂痕。”
“But I went to La Push.”
“但是我到拉普西去了。”
“Just so that I can make my own plans,” he explained quickly. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I’m sitting around waiting for you.”
“我只是想自己做些安排，”他迅速解释道，“我不想你觉得自己得赶紧回来是因为我在这里等着你。”
He sighed. “I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my… prejudice against werewolves than anything else. I’m going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it’s safe, then I’ll believe you.”
他叹了叹气：“我确定你是正确的。我之前的问题更多地在于我……对狼人的偏见而不是其他因素。我打算努力做到更加理智，相信你的判断。如果你说那样很安全，我就相信你。”
“And I ditched school.”
“而且我逃学了。”
He misread my silence and the tension in my body.
他对我的沉默和身体上的紧张会错了意。
“So,” he murmured in a casual tone. “Did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?”
“那么，”他漫不经心地轻声问道，“你有很快再去拉普西的打算吗？”
“Wow.”
“哇噢。”
I didn’t answer. His question brought back the memory of Jacob’s words, and my throat was suddenly tight.
我没有回答，他的问题使我想起了雅各布的话，我的喉咙突然一紧。
“Glad over something that’s hurt you?” he murmured into my hair. “I don’t think so, Bella.”
“因为某些让你受伤的事情而高兴？”他对着我的头发低声说，“我不这么认为，贝拉。”
Edward waited while I hesitated.
我犹豫不决的时候，爱德华等待着。
“Ah,” Edward said quietly.
“啊。”爱德华平静地说。
“Did you run over someone’s cat?” he asked lightly. I knew he didn’t want to force the story out of me, but I could hear the curiosity burning behind his words.
“你撞倒别人的猫了吗？”他轻松地问道。我知道他不想逼我说出口，但是我能听见他话里的好奇。
“He wasn’t expecting… that it was so soon.”
“他没有想到……这会那么快。”
“He said he’d rather see me dead.” My voice broke on the last word.
“他说他宁愿看见我死。”说最后一个字的时候，我的声音哽咽了。
“No.” I took a deep breath, and then mumbled quickly through the explanation. “I thought Jacob would have realized… I didn’t think it would surprise him.”
“没有，”我深深地吸了一口气，接着仓促而含糊地解释道，我本以为雅各布已经意识到……我认为那不会令他惊讶的。”
Then he crushed me gently to his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
接着他温柔地把我揽入怀中：“我非常抱歉。”
“I thought you’d be glad,” I whispered.
“我还以为你会高兴呢。”我轻声说道。
Edward was too still for a moment, controlling whatever reaction he didn’t want me to see.
爱德华一动不动地待了一会儿，努力控制住他不想让我看见的任何反应。
I sighed and relaxed, fitting myself to the stone shape of him. But he was motionless again, tense.
我叹了叹气，松弛下来，调整姿势靠在他那石头一样的身体上，但是他又一动不动了，身体僵硬起来。
“I don’t think I’m welcome anymore,” I whispered.
“我想我不再受欢迎了。”我轻声低声道。
“Oh. You don’t have to do that for me.”
“噢，你没必要为我那么做。”
“No,” I said in a voice that sounded strange to me. “I don’t have plans go back.”
“不，”我用一种我自己都感到陌生的语气说道，“我没有再去的计划。”
He paused for a minute. “It might make you angry.”
他停顿了片刻说：“这可能会让你生气的。”
“If you’re going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it.” I reached for his face, trying to pull myself up to kiss him. His arms held me tighter, restraining.
“如果你打算失控，我能想到一个更好的地方。”我伸出手摸他的脸，想让自己直起身子吻他。他的胳膊把我抱得更紧了，尽量克制自己。
“I was talking to Rosalie last night…”
“昨天晚上我和罗莎莉谈话了……”
“I could slip.” His tone was thoughtful.
“我也可能会失控的。”他的语气若有所思。
I grinned in the darkness. “No. Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes… or hours.”
我在黑暗中露齿一笑：“不，要我负几分钟的责任……或者几个小时。”
“What’s that?”
“什么事？”
“Goodnight, Bella.”
“晚安，贝拉。”
“I still want to know.”
“我还是想知道。”
He sighed. “I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I want to.”
他叹气道：我很可能因为他对你说那样的话而杀死他的，我想那么做。”
I laughed halfheartedly. “I guess it’s a good thing you’ve got so much self-control.”
我毫无兴趣地大笑起来：我猜你的自制力那么好真是件好事。”
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“怎么啦？”我问道。
His voice was anxious, and I realized that he thought I wanted to talk about the reasons Rosalie’d given me for staying human. But I was interested in something much more pressing.
他的声音很焦急，我意识到他认为我想讨论罗莎莉让我考虑继续当人类的原因，但是我对更加紧迫的事情感兴趣。
He sighed. “Must I always be the responsible one?”
他叹气道：难道我一定要一直当那个负责任的人吗？”
“It’s nothing.”
“没什么。”
“Wait — there was something else I wanted to ask you about.”
“等等——我还有事情想要问你呢。”
His body tensed again. “Yes. She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn’t she?”
他的身体又僵硬起来：“是的，我进来的时候她正在想这件事。她给你透露了很多信息，让你仔细考虑，是不是？”
“You can tell me.”
“你可以告诉我。”
“She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires… and you.”
“她提到一些关于一群女吸血鬼的事情……和你。”
“Don’t worry,” I said, after the silence had grown uncomfortable. “She told me you didn’t… show any preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of them had. Shown a preference for you, I mean.”
“别担心，”在沉默变得令人不舒服之后，我开口说，“她告诉我你不…没有对任何人表示好感，但是我只是想知道，你知道，她们当中是否有……我的意思是，是否有人对你有好感。”
“She told me a little bit… about the time your family lived in Denali.”
“她告诉我一点点……关于你们家族居住在德纳利的时光。”
Again he said nothing.
再一次，他又什么都没说。
His arms tightened; I was unable to squirm even an inch away.
他的双臂抱得更紧了，我根本是寸步难行。
“It’s bad,” I guessed. “It’s really bad, isn’t it?”
“真糟糕，”我猜，“真的很糟糕，是不是？”
There was a short pause; this beginning took him by surprise. “Yes?”
短暂停顿了一下，这个开场白令他措手不及：“是吗？”
No answer. I wished I could see his face, so I could try to guess what this silence meant.
没有回答，我希望我能看见他的脸，这样我就能猜出这种沉默是什么意思。
“Alice will tell me,” I said. “I’ll go ask her right now.”
“爱丽丝会告诉我的，”我说，“我现在就去问她。”
“It’s late,” he said. His voice had a little edge to it that was something new. Sort of nervous, maybe a little embarrassed. “Besides, I think Alice stepped out…”
“很晚了，”他说，他的声音有些尖锐，透露出新的信息，有种紧张，或许有些尴尬，“此外，我想爱丽丝出门了……”
He didn’t answer, though I waited for a long moment.
他没有回答，尽管我等了很久。
“Which one?” I asked, trying to keep my voice casual, and not quite managing. “Or was there more than one?”
“哪一个？”我问道，努力保持漫不经心的口吻，并且装做不是那么爱管闲事，或者不只一个？”
“And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful.”
“然后，当然啦，美丽得超乎寻常。”
“Am I? Then why won’t you tell me?”
“是吗？那么为什么你不告诉我呢？”
“Which one?” I insisted.
“哪一个？”我坚持追问。
“Strawberry blonde — not at all my type.”
“红发女郎——根本不是我喜欢的类型。”
“I suppose, to human eyes,” he said, indifferent. “You know what, though?”
“我猜，那是对人类而言，”他说道，流露出漠不关心的语气，“不过，你知道什么？”
“Calm down, Bella,” he said, kissing the tip of my nose. “You’re being absurd.”
“镇定，贝拉，”他吻着我的鼻尖说道，“你现在有些胡闹。”
“Just like the rest of us — white skin, gold eyes,” he answered too quickly.
“就像我们其他人一样——白皙的皮肤，金色的眼睛。”他回答得太快了。
“Because there’s nothing to tell. You’re blowing this wildly out of proportion.”
“因为没有什么好告诉你的，你现在想的根本是毫无根据的。”
I felt him shrug.
我感到他耸了耸肩。
I thought about that for a while, trying to concentrate as his lips moved slowly along my cheek, down my throat, and back up again. He made the circuit three times before I spoke.
我想了一会儿，当他的嘴唇慢慢地沿着我的脸颊移动，接着上下来回地吻我的喉咙时，我努力集中精神，在我开口说话之前，他这样来回吻了我两三次。
“She’s a blonde. That figures.”
“她是金发美女，这样看来。”
“What?” My voice was petulant.
“什么？”我自己的声音有些无礼。
I kept my voice as even as possible. “Tell me something — what does Tanya look like?”
我尽量保持平静的音调：告诉我一些——坦妮娅长什么样子？”
He put his lips right to my ear; his cold breath tickled. “I prefer brunettes.”
他把嘴唇靠近我的耳朵，冰冷的呼吸逗得我直痒痒：“我更喜欢黑头发的女孩。”
I started to panic, my heart accelerating as I imagined the gorgeous immortal rival I’d never realized I had.
我开始感到恐慌，当我想象着那个我美艳动人、永恒不死的情敌时，我的心跳加速了，我从来没有意识到有这样的一个人存在。
He sighed. “Tanya expressed a little interest. I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story.”
他叹气道：“坦妮娅表示过一点点的兴趣，我让她知道，当然是非常礼貌、非常绅士的，我不能回赠那种兴趣，故事就这样结束了。”
“Hmm,” he whispered against my skin. “You’re quite adorable when you’re jealous. It’s surprisingly enjoyable.”
“哦，”他对着我的皮肤轻声说道，“你嫉妒的时候可爱极了，这种开心真是让人感到惊讶。”
He started to hum my lullaby, and I knew it was only a matter of time till I succumbed, so I closed my eyes and snuggled closer into his chest.
他开始哼唱我的摇篮曲，我知道我屈服只不过是时间问题，所以我闭上眼睛，更加亲密地依偎在他的胸口。
“I guess that’s okay, then,” I decided.
“求你别说了。”我斩钉截铁地说。
“It’s late,” he said again, murmuring, almost crooning now, his voice smoother than silk. “Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love.”
“很晚了，”他又说道，咕咕哝哝地，差不多要轻轻地哼起来，睡觉，我的贝拉。做个开心的好梦。你是唯一那个曾经打动我的心的人，我的心永远属于你。睡吧，我唯一的爱。”
I scowled into the darkness.
我对着漆黑一片板着脸孔。
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