I was like a lost moon — my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation — that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.
我就像一颗迷失的月亮——我的地球就像在那些荒凉的灾难片情节中被摧毁了一样——持续的运转着，然而，我是在一个紧密的、小小的轨道上环绕着剩下的那个空白的空间旋转着，忽视着万有引力的作用。
Time began to trip along much more quickly than before. School, work, and Jacob — though not necessarily in that order — created a neat and effortless pattern to follow. And Charlie got his wish: I wasn’t miserable anymore. Of course, I couldn’t fool myself completely. When I stopped to take stock of my life, which I tried not to do too often, I couldn’t ignore the implications of my behavior.
时间开始比以前流逝的更快了。学校、工作和雅各布——虽然未必是按照这种次序——构成了我所遵循的简单和轻松的模式。并且查理也如愿以偿：我已经不再郁郁寡欢。当然，我没法完全欺骗自己。每当我停下来思考着我的人生时，我努力试着不要太常这么做，我没法忽视我那些举止的隐含意义。
I was getting better with my bike, which meant fewer bandages to worry Charlie. But it also meant that the voice in my head began to fade, until I heard it no more. Quietly, I panicked. I threw myself into the search for the meadow with slightly frenzied intensity. I racked my brain for other adrenaline-producing activities.
我骑摩托车的水平提高了不少，那意味着我会更少受伤而不会让查理担心。但是那同时也意味着我脑海中的声音开始逐步消失，直到我再也听不到了。静悄悄的，我恐慌起来。我带着稍许狂热的感情去寻找那片草地。绞尽脑汁的寻找着其它能够产生肾上腺素的方法。
I didn’t keep track of the days : hat passed — there was no reason, as I tried to live as much in the present as possible, no past fading, no future impending. So I was surprised by the date when Jacob brought it up on one of our homework days. He was waiting when I pulled up in front of his house.
我无心留意那些已经流逝的时光——毫无理由这么做，因为我努力的尽可能活在当下，既不去想那些消逝的过去，也不期待即将到来的明天。所以在我们约好做功课的一天，雅各布提到某个具体日子时我很惊讶。当我把车停在他家门口时他正在那等着我。
“Well, I feel like a schmuck,” I mumbled. “Is today Valentine’s Day?”
“噢，我就像个笨蛋，”我咕噜到。“今天是情人节吗？”
“What exactly does that entail?” I hedged.
“那么究竟需要做什么呢？”我回避着他的问题。
“Oh, well, if that’s all…” I took the candy. But I was trying to think of some way to make the boundaries clear. Again. They seemed to get blurred a lot with Jacob.
“噢，好吧，如果是那样的话……”我接过糖果。但是，我正尝试着用其它的办法来划清我们之间的界限。再一次。我和雅各布之间的界限看起来模糊了很多。
I started to feel uncomfortable. The words were teasing, but only on the surface.
我开始感觉不自在。这些话是在开玩笑，但是仅仅只是表面上如此。
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Jacob said, smiling, but ducking his head as he greeted me.
“情人节快乐，”雅各布笑着对我说，但是当他跟我打招呼时突然低下了头。
Jacob shook his head with mock sadness. “You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn’t get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it’s the least you can do.”
雅各布假装难过的摇了摇头。“你有时候太不合常理了。是的，今天是二月十四日。那么你会成为我的情人吗？既然你都没为我准备一盒五十美分的糖果，至少你也得那么做了。”
“The usual — slave for life, that kind of thing.”
“通常就是——终生的奴隶，就是类似的这些事。”
He held out a small, pink box, balancing it on his palm. Conversation hearts.
他拿出一个粉红色的小盒子，把它平放在他的手掌上。是情人节的心形糖果。
“Hiking,” I decided. “You’re not the only one who can be obsessive. I’m starting to think I imagined that place…” I frowned into space.
“远足，”我决定了。“你可不是唯一一个执着的人。我开始认为那个地方是我想象出来的……”我皱着眉头思索着。
“So, what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking, or the ER?”
“那么，你明天做什么？远足，或者是急诊室？”
“We’ll find it,” he assured me. “Bikes Friday?” he offered.
“我们会找到的，”他向我许诺道。“星期五骑摩托车吗？”他提议着。
“I’m going to a movie Friday. I’ve been promising my cafeteria crowd that I would go out forever.” Mike would be pleased.
“星期五我要去看场电影。我已经答应了食堂里那群朋友们，我任何时候都愿意和他们一起出去。“迈克一定会很高兴的。
“You’ll come too, right?” I added quickly. “Or will it be too much of a drag with a bunch of boring seniors?” So much for my chance to put some distance between us. I couldn’t stand hurting Jacob; we seemed to be connected in an odd way, and his pain set off little stabs of my own. Also, the idea of having his company for the ordeal — I had promised Mike, but really didn’t feel any enthusiasm at the thought of following through — was just too tempting.
“你也会来，对吧？”我立即补充到。“或者你觉得跟一群乏味高年级学生在一起很无趣？”利用这个机会使我们之间保持一些距离看起来已经不太可能了。我无法忍受自己去伤害雅各布，奇怪的是我们好像联系在一起，他受伤我也会感到疼痛。况且让他陪我一起去赴那场痛苦的约会——我已经答应了迈克，但我实在找不到任何热情来履行这个约定——简直太有诱惑力了。
But Jacob’s face fell. I caught the expression in his dark eyes before he dropped them to look at the ground.
但是雅各布的脸色沉了下来。在他低下头来掩饰他的心情之前，我已经在他黑黑的眼珠里捕捉到了他的表情。
“You’d like me to come, with your friends there?”
“你想要我去吗，和你那些朋友？”
I saw a chance and took it without taking time to think it through.
我看到一个机会了，于是不假思索的就抓住了它。
“Quil’s gonna freak. Senior girls.” He chortled and rolled his eyes. I didn’t mention Embry, and neither did he. I laughed, too. “I’ll try to get hin a good selection.”
“奎尔一定会兴奋死的。和高年级的女生一起。”他大笑起来并且转了转他的眼珠子。我没有提到恩布里，他也没有。我笑起来。“我会努力的让他有更多的选择的。”
“Yes,” I admitted honestly, knowing as I continued that I was probably shooting myself in the foot with my words. “I’ll have a lot more fun if you’re there. Bring Quil, and we’ll make it a party.”
“是的，”我如实的回答他，我明白如果我再说下去很可能会搬起石头砸自己的脚。“如果你在的话我一定会更开心。叫上奎尔吧，我们可以帮它当作一次聚会。”
I broached the subject with Mike in English.
英语课的时候我向迈克提到了这件事。
“Hey, Mike,” I said when class was over. “Are you free Friday night?”
“嗨，迈克，”下课时我对他说。“你星期五晚上有空吗？”
“Sure,” he agreed, visibly less eager.
“当然，”他同意了，明显没那么热切了。
He looked up, his blue eyes instantly hopeful. “Yeah, I am. You want to go out?”
他抬起头看着我，他的蓝眼睛里立即充满了希望。“是的，我有空。你想出去玩吗？”
I worded my reply carefully. “I was thinking about getting a group” — I emphasized the word — “together to go see Crosshairs.” I’d done my homework this time — even reading the movie spoilers to be sure I wouldn’t be caught off guard. This movie was supposed to be a bloodbath from start to finish. I wasn’t so recovered that I could stand to sit through a romance. “Does that sound like fun?”
我小心翼翼的回答他。“我想组织一个集体活动”——我强调着这个词——“一起去看《瞄准射击》吧。”这一次我已经事先做好准备工作了——甚至还阅读了剧透，确保自己不会再毫无准备。这部电影应该是从头到尾都是杀戮的血腥场面。我还没有恢复到可以忍受看完一部爱情片。“这是不是听起来很有趣？”
“Cool.”
“真酷。”
After a second, he perked back up to near his former excitement level. “How about we get Angela and Ben? Or Eric and Katie?”
过了一会，他又活跃起来，几乎和开始一样兴奋。“不如我们叫上安吉拉和本？或者是埃里克和凯蒂？”
“Okay,” Mike muttered, foiled.
“好的，”迈克咕噜道，有些挫败。
He was determined to make this some kind of double date, apparently.
很明显，他决心要把这次聚会变成几对情侣间的约会。
“How about both?” I suggested “And Jessica, too, of course. And Tyler and Conner, and maybe Lauren,” I tacked on grudgingly. I had promised Quil variety.
“要不把他们四个人都叫上？”我建议道。“当然还有杰西卡。泰勒和康纳，或者劳伦，”我不情愿的添加着人数。我已经答应要给奎尔多些选择了。
“And,” I continued, “I’ve got a couple of friends from La Push I’m inviting. So it sounds like we’ll need your Suburban if everyone comes.”
“而且，”我接着说道，“我已经邀请了拉普西的两个朋友过来了。所以看起来如果每个人都来的话我们就需要你的萨伯曼了。”
“These are the friends you spend all your time studying with now?”
“就是那些现在整天和你在一起做功课的朋友吗？”
Mike’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
迈克怀疑的眯着眼睛。
“Yep, the very ones,” I answered cheerfully. “Though you could look at it as tutoring — they’re only sophomores.”
“是的，正是他们，”我开心的回答道。“但是你也可以把它看做是功课辅导——他们才上二年级。”
The diminished numbers didn’t dampen Mike’s anticipation, though. It was all he could talk about Friday.
即使这样，人数的减少并没有影响迈克的期待。他一整天谈论的都是星期五的事。
Jessica and Lauren claimed to be busy as soon as Mike let it slip that I was involved in the planning. Eric and Katie already had plans — it was their three-week anniversary or something. Lauren got to Tyler and Conner before Mike could, so those two were also busy. Even Quil was out — grounded for fighting at school. In the end, only Angela and Ben, and, of course Jacob, were able to go.
当迈克无意中提到是我安排了这次活动时，杰西卡和劳伦就声称她们没空。埃里克和凯蒂已经有安排了——那天是他们交往三周的纪念日，或者其它的什么日子。劳伦在迈克之前就把这个安排告诉了泰勒和康纳，所以他俩也没空。甚至奎尔也来不了了——因为在学校打架而被禁止出门。最后，只有安吉拉和本，当然还要雅各布，可以去了。
“Are you sure you don’t want to see Tomorrow and Forever instead?” he asked at lunch, naming the current romantic comedy that was ruling the box office. “Rotten Tomatoes gave it a better review.”
“你确定不想看《明天和永远》？”他在吃午餐的时候问道，提到了一部目前在票房上占据榜首的爱情喜剧的片名。“烂番茄上它的影评不错。”
“Oh,” Mike said, surprised. After a second of thought, he smiled. In the end, though, the Suburban wasn’t necessary.
“哦，”迈克说道，看起来很惊讶。他思考了一下，笑了起来。然而，到最后，根本不需要迈克的萨伯曼。
When I got home from school, a very familiar car was parked in front of my house. Jacob was leaning against the hood, a huge grin lighting up his face.
当我从学校回到家时，一辆非常熟悉的车停在我家门口。雅各布正斜靠在引擎盖上，兴奋的咧开嘴笑着。
He smacked his hand against mine, but left it there, twisting his fingers through mine. “So do I get to drive tonight?”
他用手击打了一下我的手，但是他没有把手放下来，而是弯曲手指握住了我的手。“那么今晚由我来开车啦？”
“What’s wrong?”
“怎么啦？”
He beamed. “Just last night. This is the maiden voyage.”
他面露喜色。“昨晚刚刚完成的。这可是它的第一次上路。”
“I remember this guy,” he said in a low voice as Mike parked across the street. “The one who thought you were his girlfriend. Is he still confused?”
“我记得这个家伙，”迈克在马路对面停车时，他低声对我说道。“就是那个认为你是他女朋友的人。他还没弄清楚吗？”
“I’m giving up — I can’t top this one. So you win. You’re oldest.”
“我放弃了——这次我赢不了了。你获胜。你最厉害。”
“Incredible.” I held my hand up for a high five.
“真是难以置信。”我举起手想和他击掌。
“Okay.” Mike turned away, but not before I saw his maybe-she’s-crazy-after-all expression.
“好吧。”迈克转过脸去，但是我仍然看到了他的表情，那表情分明意味着“她究竟是不是疯了”。
Mike’s Suburban chugged around the corner. I pulled my hand out of Jacob’s, and he nude a face that I wasn’t meant to see.
拐角处传来迈克的萨伯曼发出的咔嚓声。我从雅各布的手里抽出我的手，他毫不隐瞒的表情并不是我愿意看到的。
“No way!” I shouted as I jumped out of the truck. “You’re done! I can’t believe it! You finished the Rabbit!”
“这不可能！”我跳下卡车，大叫起来。“你竟然做到了！我简直不敢相信！你把兔子修好了！”
“I want to see Crosshairs” I insisted. “I’m in the mood for action. Bring on the blood and guts!”
“我想去看《瞄准射击》”我坚持道。“我现在正有心情看动作片呢。拿出点勇气来吧！”
“Definitely,” I said, and then I sighed.
“那是肯定的，”我说道，然后叹了口气。
He shrugged, unsurprised by my capitulation. “Of course I am.”
他耸耸肩，对我的投降一点也不惊讶。“当然是我啦。”
“Hey, Mike! Do you remember Jacob Black?”
“嗨，迈克！你还记得雅各布吗？”
“Not really.” Mike held out his hand.
“不太记得。”迈克伸出了他的手。
I heard the phone ringing from the kitchen.
我听到了从厨房里传来的电话铃声。
“Hey, Bella,” he greeted me, and then his eyes turned wary as he looked up at Jacob. I glanced briefly at Jacob, too, trying to be objective. He really didn’t look like a sophomore at all. He was just so big — Mike’s head barely cleared Jacob’s shoulder; I didn’t even want to think where I measured next to him — and then his face was older-looking than it used to be, even a month ago.
“嗨，贝拉，”他和我打着招呼，当他抬头看到雅各布时眼神变得谨慎起来。我也扫视了一下雅各布，试图保持客观。事实上他看起来完全不像二年级的学生。他个头太大了——迈克的头仅仅才到雅各布的肩膀，我甚至不敢想我站在他旁边会到哪儿——他的脸看起来比平常更加成熟，甚至比一个月前都成熟。
I raised one eyebrow. “Some people are hard to discourage.”
我挑起一侧的眉毛。“有些人是很难让他气馁的。”
“Then again,” Jacob said thoughtfully, “sometimes persistence pays off.”
“那么又一次，”雅各布若有思想的说道，“坚持得到了回报。”
“Most of the time it’s just annoying, though.”
“但是，大多数的时候它只会让人烦恼。”
“Old family friend,” Jacob introduced himself, shaking hands. They locked hands with more force than necessary. When their grip broke, Mike flexed his fingers.
“他们家的老朋友，”雅各布自我介绍道，和迈克握了握手。他们没必要用那么大的力气握手。当他们松手时，迈克弯曲了几下他的手指。
Mike got out of his car and crossed the road.
迈克从他的车里下来然后穿过马路。
“I’d better get that — it might be Charlie,” I told them, and dashed inside.
“我最好去接电话——可能是查理，”我告诉他们，然后冲进屋子。
It was Ben. Angela was sick with the stomach flu, and he didn’t feel like coming without her. He apologized for bailing on us.
是本打来的。安吉拉得上了胃肠感冒，他不想丢下她自己过来。他为自己的缺席感到抱歉。
“Ang is sick,” I told them glumly. “She and Ben aren’t coming.”
“安吉拉生病了，”我郁闷的说道。“她和本不能来了。”
It didn’t seem like Jake and Mike had made any progress towards friendship in my absence. They were several yards apart, facing away from each other as they waited for me; Mike’s expression was sullen, though Jacob’s was cheerful as always.
我不在的时候，看起来杰克和迈克之间的友谊并不没有得到什么进展。他们之间隔着好几英尺远，面朝不同的方向等着我，迈克的表情闷闷不乐，但是雅各布还是一如往常的开心。
I walked slowly back to the waiting boys, shaking my head. I really hoped Angela would feel better soon, but I had to admit that I was selfishly upset by this development. Just the three of us, Mike and Jacob and me, together for the evening — this had worked out brilliantly, I thought with grim sarcasm.
我慢吞吞的走回到那两个正在等我的男孩身边，一边摇着头。我真的希望安吉拉能快点好起来，但是我不得不承认，我正自私的烦恼着事态的发展。只剩下我们三个了，迈克、雅各布和我，今晚要待在一起了——事情发展的真不错啊，我讽刺的想到。
“No, I’m coming,” Mike interrupted. “I was just thinking of Angela and Ben. Let’s go.” He started toward his Suburban.
“不，我要去，”迈克打断了他的话。“我只是担心安吉拉和本。我们出发吧。”他开始向他的萨伯曼走去。
“I guess the flu is making another round. Austin and Conner were out today, too. Maybe we should do this another time,” Mike suggested.
“我想这感冒又开始流行了。奥斯丁和康纳今天也病了。也许我们应该换个时间，”迈克建议道。
Before I could agree, Jacob spoke.
在我同意之前，雅各布说话了。
“Hey, do you mind if Jacob drives?” I asked. “I told him he could — he just finished his car. He built it from scratch, all by himself,” I bragged, proud as a PTA mom with a student on the principal’s list.
“嗨，你介意让雅各布开车吗？”我问道。“我已经答应让他开了——他刚修好了他的车。他是从头到尾全靠他自己搞定的哦，”我吹嘘道，就像一个家庭教师协会的母亲因为孩子在负责人的名单上一样骄傲。
“I’m still up for it. But if you’d rather to stay behind, Mike –“
“我还是准备要去。但是如果你不想去的话，迈克——”
When we got to the theater, Jacob handed me a ten-dollar bill.
当我们到达电影院时，雅各布递给我一张十美元的钞票。
“All right, then,” Jacob said, as if that settled everything. He seemed more comfortable than anyone else.
“好吧，就这样，”雅各布说道，就好像所以的事情都解决了似的。他看起来比我们更自在。
I stared at Jacob, surprised. I’d never told him that.
我惊讶的盯着雅各布。我从没有告诉过他这些。
“Hmph.” Mike leaned away.
“嗯。”迈克重新靠向后座了。
“How can you not like music?” Mike demanded.
“你怎么会不喜欢音乐？”迈克问道。
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It just irritates me.”
我耸耸肩。“我不知道，只是它让我有些烦躁。”
“He’s right,” I mumbled, still looking at Jacob’s serene profile.
“他说的没错，”我咕噜道，仍然盯着雅各布平静的侧脸。
“Bella?” Mike asked, annoyed.
“贝拉？”迈克恼火的问道。
“Fine,” Mike snapped.
“好的，”迈克厉声说道。
And then Mike changed his strategy. He leaned forward, resting his chin on the shoulder of my seat; his cheek almost touched mine. I shifted away, turning my back toward the window.
接着迈克转变了策略。他靠上前来，把他的下巴搁在我座位的靠背上，他的脸几乎要碰到我的脸了。我转过身子，背对着车窗。
“What’s this?” I objected.
“这是干什么？”我不愿意接受他的钱。
Jacob was his normal sunny self, chattering away until I’d all but forgotten Mike sulking silently in the back.
雅各布还是保持着他开朗的本性，一路上都滔滔不绝的，让我几乎都忘记了迈克正坐在后座上一声不响的生着闷气。
“Yes,” Jacob answered. “But Bella doesn’t like music.”
“有啊，”雅各布回答道。“但是贝拉不喜欢音乐。”
“Doesn’t the radio work in this thing?” Mike asked with a hint of petulance, interrupting Jacob mid-sentence.
“难道这车里没收音机吗？”迈克带着少许的怒气问道，在雅各布一句话说道一半时打断了他。
Mike climbed in the backseat of the Rabbit with a disgusted expression.
迈克爬上兔子的后座，脸上露出厌恶的表情。
“No. I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence.”
“不。我告诉他你正准备玷污我幼小纯真的心灵。”
I laughed out loud. “So much for relative ages. Is Billy going to kill me if I sneak you in?”
我大声的笑出来。“不要再提那些相对的年龄了。如果我偷偷把你带进去比利会不会杀了我？”
“I’m not old enough to get into this one,” he reminded me.
“我的年纪还不允许看这种电影，”他提醒我。
I snickered, and Mike quickened his pace to keep up with us.
我暗笑着，迈克加快步伐跟上了我们。
I almost wished that Mike had decided to bow out. He was still sullen — not much of an addition to the party. But I didn’t want to end up on a date alone with Jacob, either. That wouldn’t help anything.
我真的很希望迈克刚才已经退出了。他一直闷闷不乐的——根本算不上是我们这次聚会中的一员。但是我也不想比它最终变成我和雅各布的单独约会。那也不会有任何帮助。
The movie was exactly what it professed to be. In just the opening credits, four people got blown up and one got beheaded. The girl in front of me put her hands over her eyes and turned her face into her date’s chest. He patted her shoulder, and winced occasionally, too. Mike didn’t look like he was watching. His face was stiff as he glared toward the fringe of curtain above the screen.
这部电影真的很它声称的一模一样。仅仅在放开场字幕的时候，四个人就被炸死了其中一个连头都没了。坐我前面的一个女孩用手捂住眼睛，然后把脸埋在她男朋友的怀里。他轻拍着她的肩膀，自己有时候也吓得直哆嗦。迈克看起来好像没有在看电影。他的脸部表情很僵硬看起来他好像正盯着银幕上方的帷幕边缘。
I settled in to endure the two hours, watching the colors and the movement on the screen rather than seeing the shapes of people and cars and houses. But then Jacob started sniggering.
我坐定下来开始忍受这两个时候的煎熬，我一直把注意力集中在银幕上的色彩和镜头的移动上，没有留意人物的外形，汽车和房子。但是不一会雅各布开始窃笑起来。
After that, I really watched the show, laughing with him as the mayhem got more and more ridiculous. How was I ever going to fight the blurring lines in our relationship when I enjoyed being with him so much?
在那之后，我才真正的开始看电影，随着血腥的情节变得越来越荒谬，我也和他一起笑起来。我是如此享受和他在一起的时光，那么我又如何能划清我们俩之间日益迷糊的界限呢？
“What?” I whispered.
“怎么啦？”我低声说道。
“Oh, c’mon!” he hissed back. “The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy. How fake can you get?”
“噢，得了吧！”他不屑的说道。“血从那个家伙身上喷出了有二十英尺的距离。你看过这么假的吗？”
Both Jacob and Mike had claimed the armrests on either side of me. Both of their hands rested lightly, palms up, in an unnatural looking position. Like steel bear traps, open and ready. Jacob was in the habit of taking my hand whenever the opportunity presented itself, but here in the darkened movie theater, with Mike watching, it would have a different significance — and I was sure he knew that. I couldn’t believe that Mike was thinking the same thing, but his hand was placed exactly like Jacob’s.
雅各布和迈克都把手放在我两边的扶手上。他们俩的手都轻轻的搁在上面，手心向上，看起来姿势很不自然。就像坚固的捕熊夹，时刻张开着准备着。只有一有机会雅各布就习惯性的握住我的手，但是在这个黑漆漆的影院里，旁边坐着迈克，这个动作就有着不同的意义——而且我确定他一定知道。我相信迈克的想法不一样，但是他手放着的姿势和雅各布一模一样。
Mike gave up first. About halfway through the movie, he pulled his arm back, and leaned forward to put his head in his hands. At first I thought he was reacting to something on the screen, but then he moaned.
迈克首先放弃了。电影放到一半时，他把手拿了回去，然后身子向前倾着，把头埋在手里。一开始我以为是银幕上的某些画面让他有这种反应，但是，过一会他呻吟起来。
He chuckled again, as a flagpole speared another man into a concrete wall.
当放到一个旗杆把一个男人刺穿到水泥墙上时，他又轻声笑起来。
I folded my arms tightly across my chest and hoped that both their hands fell asleep.
我把手臂交叉着紧紧的贴在胸前，希望他们的手都不要动。
Mike groaned again, and bolted for the door. I got up to follow him, and Jacob copied me immediately.
迈克又开始呻吟了，接着向门口冲去。我站起身跟着他，雅各布也马上站起来。
“You don’t have to come. Get your eight bucks worth of carnage,” I insisted as we walked up the aisle.
“你不需要出来。你的八美元就这么没了，”当我们走到过道上我仍坚持道。
“No, stay,” I whispered. “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”
“不，你留下来把，”我小声说道。“我相信他不是很严重。”
“Oh, he’s in there, all right,” he said, rolling his eyes. “What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.”
“噢，他在那，没事了，”他说道，转了转眼珠子。“这家伙真差劲。你应该和一个胃部忍受力更强的人一起出来玩。那种人即使看到血也毫不在乎，不像那些虚弱的一见血就吐的人。
I could see the sheen of sweat across his face in the light from the screen.
借着银幕上的光亮我看到他脸上的汗珠。
Jacob was back in a few seconds.
不一会雅各布就出来了。
“That’s okay. You sure can pick them, Bella. This movie really sucks.” His voice rose from a whisper to its normal pitch as we walked out of the theater.
“没关系。不用看都知道情节了，贝拉。这电影真是逊透了。”当我们走出放映厅时他的声音开始从耳语恢复到正常。
There was no sign of Mike in the hallway, and I was glad then that Jacob had come with me — he ducked into the men’s bathroom to check for him there.
大厅里没看见迈克，我很开心雅各布和我一起出来了——他溜进男厕所看迈克是否在那。
“I’ll keep my eyes open for someone like that.”
“我会睁大眼睛去找那种人的。”
Jacob came with me anyway.
雅各布还是和我一起出来了。
The couple in front of us turned to look at him as he groaned again.
当他再次开始呻吟的时候前排的一对情侣回头看着他。
“Mike, are you okay?” I whispered.
“迈克，你还好吗？”我小声问道。
Jacob went to sit on the velveteen-upholstered bench against the wall, patting the space beside him.
雅各布走到墙边的棉绒长凳上坐了下来，拍了拍他旁边的空位。
I joined him with a sigh. He looked like he was thinking about blurring more lines. Sure enough, as soon as I sat down, he shifted over to put his arm around my shoulders.
我叹了口气坐在他旁边。看起来他正准备使我们之间的界限更加模糊。果然，我一坐下来，他就移过来用胳膊搂着我的肩膀。
We were all alone in the hallway. Both theaters were halfway through the movie, and it was deserted — quiet enough for us to hear the popcorn popping at the concession counter in the lobby.
我们单独待在大厅里。所有的电影才放了一半，大厅里空荡荡的——静得我们都可以听见大厅里特许柜台上炸爆米花的声音。
“He sounded like he was going to be in there for a while,” he said, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he settled in to wait.
“看起来他还要在里面待上一阵子，”他说道，当他坐定下来开始等迈克时，他伸展了一下他长长的双腿。
“Jake,” I protested, leaning away. He dropped his arm, not looking bothered at all by the minor rejection. He reached out and took my hand firmly, wrapping his other hand around my wrist when I tried to pull away again. Where did he get the confidence from?
“杰克，”我抗议道，身子倾向另一边。他把手放下来，丝毫没有因为这小小的拒绝而恼怒。他伸出手牢牢的抓住我的手，当我再次试着移开时他用另一只手握住了我的手腕。他的这份自信是从哪儿得来的？
“Now, just hold on a minute, Bella,” he said in a calm voice. “Tell me something.”
“现在，只要一分钟，贝拉，”他平静的说道。“告诉我一些事。”
I grimaced. I didn’t want to do this. Not just not now, but not ever. There was nothing lett in my life at this point that was more important than Jacob Black. But he seemed determined to ruin everything.
我的面部开始扭曲。我不想这么做。并不仅仅是现在不想，任何时候都不想。在这个时候我生命中剩下的没有比雅各布更重要的了。但是他看起来想毁了一切。
It was hard to answer, to say the word. Would he get hurt and avoid me? How would I stand that?
我很难回答他的话，没法说出一个字。他会受到伤害并且避开我吗？我如何能忍受这些？
“But that’s all,” he said, and it wasn’t a question.
“但是就仅限于此吗，”他说道，显著这并不是一个疑问句。
“Yes,” I sighed.
“是的，”我叹了口气。
“Better than any of the other guys you know?” He was calm, serene — as if my answer didn’t matter, or he already knew what it was.
“胜过你认识的其他男孩？”他很平静，很沉着——就好像我的回答并不重要，或者他已经知道了答案。
“You like me, right?”
“你喜欢我，对吧？”
“You know I do.”
“你知道我喜欢你的。”
“What?” I muttered sourly.
“什么？”我酸楚的小声问道。
“Yes,” I whispered.
“是的，”我小声回答道。
“Better than that joker puking his guts out in there?” He gestured toward the bathroom door.
“胜过那个在里面吐得一塌糊涂的可笑家伙？”他指了指洗手间的门。
“Better than the girls, too,” I pointed out.
“也胜过那些女孩子，”我指出。
He grinned down at me. “That’s okay, you know. As long as you like me the best. And you think I’m good-looking — sort of. I’m prepared to be annoyingly persistent.”
他低下头对我笑起来。“没关系，你知道的。只要你最喜欢我。并且你认为我长得有点帅。我就准备不断的来烦你了。”
His face was thoughtful, no longer teasing. “It’s still the other one, isn’t it?”
他的表情很深沉，不再是平常逗笑的表情。“还是因为另外一个人，对吗？”
“I’m not going to change,” I said, and though I tried to keep my voice normal, I could hear the sadness in it.
“我是不会改变想法的，”我说道，虽然我尽力想让自己的声音保持和平常一样，但是我仍然感受到我声音中的伤感。
I cringed. Funny how he seemed to know not to say the name — just like before in the car with the music. He picked up on so much about me that I never said.
我开始颤抖。他看起来什么都知道但是却不说出名字，真是可笑——就像刚才在车里说到音乐的事一样。即使我什么都没说，他也察觉到了关于我的这么多的事。
“But don’t get mad at me for hanging around, okay?” Jacob patted the back of my hand. “Because I’m not giving up. I’ve got loads of time.”
“但是不要因为我老缠着你而生我的气，好吗？”雅各布拍拍我的手背。“因为我不会放弃的。我有的是时间。”
I sighed. “You shouldn’t waste it on me,” I said, though I wanted him to. Especially if he was willing to accept me the way I was — damaged goods, as is.
我叹了口气。“你不应该在我身上浪费时间，”我说道，虽然我希望他这么做。特别是当他愿意接受一个这样的我时——我现在就像是受损的货物一样。
“It’s what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me.”
“这就是我想做的，只要你还愿意和我在一起。”
Jacob beamed. “I can live with that.”
雅各布面露喜色。“那么我就可以忍受。”
“The problem,” I said, “is, that it means something different to me than it does to you.”
“问题，”我说道“就是，它对你和我有着不同的意义。”
“I can’t imagine how I could not like being with you,” I told him honestly.
“我无法想象我会不喜欢和你在一起，”我诚恳的告诉他。
“This doesn’t really bother you, does it?” he demanded, squeezing my fingers.
“这并不会让你讨厌，对吧？”他问道，紧握了一下我的手。
“Just don’t expect more,” I warned him, trying to pull my hand away. He held onto it obstinately.
“只不过你不要期望太多，”我警告着他，试着抽出我的手。他固执的抓住我的手。
I nodded, grateful.
我点点头，很感激他。
“No,” I sighed. Truthfully, it felt nice. His hand was so much warmer than mine; I always felt too cold these days.
“是的，”我叹息道。事实上，这让我感觉很好。他的手比我的更温暖，这些日子我一直感到寒冷。
“I guess not.”
“我想不会。”
“And you don’t care what he thinks.” Jacob jerked his thumb toward the bathroom.
“你不会介意他的想法吧。”雅各布跷起大拇指指着洗手间。
“So what’s the problem?”
“那么问题在哪？”
“You don’t have to talk about it,” he told me.
“你不需要谈这些事，”他告诉我。
He chuckled quietly for a minute while his pinky finger absently traced designs against the side of my hand.
他安静的轻声笑起来，与此同时他的小手指无意中碰到了我手边上的伤口。
“I won’t. The pin’s out of the grenade for me, now, eh?” He poked me in the ribs.
“我不会的。现在是我正握着这个即将引爆的手榴弹，对吧？”他戳了戳我的背。
And then Mike stumbled out of the bathroom, his face ashen and covered in sweat. He looked horrible.
这时，迈克踉踉跄跄的从洗手间走出来，他的脸色苍白，满头大汗。他看起来很可怕。
I rolled my eyes. I guess if he felt like making a joke out of it, he was entitled.
我转了转眼珠了。我想他是否想以此开个玩笑，他有权这么做。
I waited for the memory to hit — to open the gaping hole. But, as it so often did, Jacob’s presence kept me whole.
我等待着回忆的侵袭——再次撕开身体上的大伤口。但是，和过去一样，雅各布的存在让我完好无损。
The index finger of his free hand followed the line of the long silvery crescent that was barely visible against my pale skin.
他用另一只手的食指沿着那个银月牙形伤口的边缘移动着，这个伤口在我苍白色的皮肤上几乎已经看不出来了。
“It’s cold,” he murmured, pressing lightly against the place where James had cut me with his teeth.
“好冷，”他咕噜道，轻轻的按了按了詹姆斯咬了我之后留下的伤疤。
I scowled. “Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars come from?”
我皱起眉头。“你真的希望我记起所以伤疤的来源吗？”
“Well.” He tightened his hand around mine “That’s my problem, isn’t it?”
“好吧。”他更用力的握住我的手。“那是我的问题，不是吗？”
“That’s a funny scar you’ve got there,” he suddenly said, twisting my hand to examine it. “How did that happen?”
“你这里的伤疤真有意思，”他突然说道，转过我的手仔细看着。“这是怎么弄的？”
“Fine,” I grumbled. “Don’t forget it, though.”
“好吧，”我咕哝到。“只是不要忘记这一点。”
“No, of course not.” I pulled my hand free and went to help Mike walk. He looked unsteady.
“不，当然不会。”我抽出我的手去帮助迈克。他看起来都站不稳。
“I was hoping it would pass,” he said.
“我以为会好起来的，”他说道。
Mike’s glare was malevolent. “I didn’t actually see any of it,” he mumbled. “I was nauseated before the lights went down.”
迈克怒视着他。“事实上我根本我没怎么看，”他咕噜道。“放映厅的灯关掉之前我就想吐了。”
I towed Mike out into the cool, wet air. He inhaled deeply. Jacob was right behind us. He helped me get Mike into the back of the car, and handed him the bucket with a serious gaze.
我拖着迈克走到凉爽、潮湿的空气中，他深深的吸了口气。雅各布正站在我们身后。他帮我把迈克弄进汽车的后座，严肃的注视着他然后把爆米花桶递过去。
“Just a sec,” Jacob said as we reached the door. He walked quickly back to the concession stand.
“等一会，”到我们达到门口时雅各布说道。他快速走回到特许柜台那儿。
“Do you mind leaving early?” he whispered.
“你介意早点回家吗？”他小声说道。
“Oh, Mike,” I gasped.
“噢，迈克，”我喘息的说道。
“Movie too much for you?” Jacob asked heartlessly.
“电影让你受不了吗？”雅各布漠然的问道。
“Get him outside, please,” she begged. She was obviously the one who would have to clean the floor.
“麻烦快把他带出去吧，”她请求道。显然她是清理地面的人。
“Please,” was all Jacob said.
“拜托你，”雅各布只说了这么一句。
“Why didn’t you say something?” I scolded as we staggered toward the exit.
“我怎么不说呢？”当我们摇摇晃晃的朝门口走去的时候我责备他道。
We rolled down the windows, letting the icy night air blow through the car, hoping it would help Mike. I curled my arms around my legs to keep warm.
我们把窗户摇了下来，让夜晚冰冷的空气能吹进车里，希望这能帮助到迈克。我弯曲手臂抱着腿来保暖。
“Could I have an empty popcorn bucket?” he asked the salesgirl. She looked at Mike once, and then thrust a bucket at Jacob.
“能给我一个空的爆米花桶吗？”他问那个女售货员。她看了一眼迈克，然后就塞了一个给雅各布。
“Your hands are like ice,” he complained.
“你的手简直像冰块，”他抱怨道。
“You’re not?”
“你不冷吗？”
I stared out the windshield, consumed with guilt.
我看着车窗外，深感内疚。
“Whoa, Jake — you’re burning up!”
“喔，杰克——你简直像在燃烧似的！”
It was so wrong to encourage Jacob. Pure selfishness. It didn’t matter that I’d tried to make my position clear. If he felt any hope at all that this could turn into something other than friendship, then I hadn’t been clear enough.
这样鼓励雅各布是不对的。完全是自私的表现。无论我怎么努力来表明自己的立场都没有用。如果他还是感到有一丝的希望让我们之间的关系跨越到友情之外的话，那么我的立场就不够明确。
“也许是我的原因,”我承认道.
“Maybe it’s me” I allowed。
I frowned and touched his head again. His skin blazed under my fingers.
我皱起眉头，又摸了摸他的头。他的皮肤好像在我的手指下燃烧。
“You must have a fever or something,” I grumbled. It was freezing. I touched my fingers to his forehead, and his head was hot.
“你一定是发烧了或者怎么样了。”我咕哝道。天气真冷。我用手指摸了摸他的前额，他的头很烫。
“I feel fine.” He shrugged. “Fit as a fiddle.”
“我很好。”他耸耸肩。“我的身体很健康。”
Mike groaned in the backseat, and threw up in the bucket. I grimaced, hoping my own stomach could stand the sound and smell. Jacob checked anxiously over his shoulder to make sure his car wasn’t defiled.
迈克在后座呻吟着，向桶里呕吐着。我的脸上也露出痛苦的表情，希望我自己的胃能忍受住这个味道和声音。雅各布不安的回头查看着，担心他的车会被弄脏。
The road felt longer on the way back.
回去的路程感觉更长。
He shook his head.
他摇摇头。
Jacob was quiet, thoughtful. He left his arm around me, and it was so warm that the cold wind felt good.
雅各布很安静，好像在想心事。他用胳膊搂着我，我感到很温暖以至于窗外吹进来的冷风也让人感觉很舒服。
“Cold, again?” Jacob asked, putting his arm around me before I could answer.
“又觉得冷了吗？”雅各布问道，我还没有回答，他就用手臂搂着我。
“I would invite myself in, since we’re early,” he said as we pulled up next to my truck. “But I think you might be right about the fever. I’m starting to feel a little… strange.”
“我们回来的很早，我本来准备进屋坐坐的，”当他把车停在我卡车的旁边时，他对我说道。“但是我想你说我发烧了也许是对的。我开始感到有点……奇怪了。”
How could I explain so that he would understand? I was an empty shell. Like a vacant house — condemned — for months I’d been utterly uninhabitable. Now I was a little improved. The front room was in better repair. But that was all — just the one small piece. He deserved better than that — better than a one-room, falling-down fixer-upper. No amount of investment on his part could put me back in working order.
我要如何解释他才能够明白呢？我只是一具空壳。就像一栋空屋——被禁止使用——几个月来完全不适应居住。现在我有了稍许的好转。前室得到了良好的维修。但是也仅仅如此——仅仅只是一小部分。他应该拥有的更多——不仅仅只是一间房，一栋快要倒塌的危房。无论他付出多少都不可能让我恢复原貌。
Yet I knew that I wouldn’t send him away, regardless. I needed him too much, and I was selfish. Maybe I could make my side more clear, so that he would know to leave me. The thought made me shudder, and Jacob tightened his arm around me.
但是，无论如何我都没法让他走开。我太需要他了，我很自私。也许我可以更坚定自己的立场，那么他就会明白应该离开我。这种想法让我战栗了一下，雅各布把我搂的更紧了。
I drove Mike home in his Suburban, while Jacob followed behind us to take me home. Jacob was quiet all the way back to my house, and I wondered if he were thinking the same things that I was. Maybe he was changing his mind.
我开着迈克的萨伯曼送他回家，雅各布跟着我们后面然后送我回家。在送我回家的路上雅各布一直很安静，我想他是否和我想着同样的事情呢。也许他正在改变主意。
“Oh no, not you, too! Do you want me to drive you home?”
“噢不，你不是也生病了吧！你要我送你回家吗？”
“No.” He shook his head, his eyebrows pulling together. “I don’t feel sick yet. Just… wrong. If I have to, I’ll pull over.”
“不。”他摇摇头，他的眉毛拧在一起。“我还没生病呢。只是……有点不对劲。如果我实在不行，我会把车停在路边的。”
“Will you call me as soon as you get in?” I asked anxiously.
“你一到家就给我电话好吗？”我焦急的问道。
“Sure, sure.” He frowned, staring ahead into the darkness and biting his lip.
“当然，当然。”他皱着眉头，开始望向漆黑的前方，然后咬着嘴唇。
I opened my door to get out, but he grabbed my wrist lightly and held me there. I noticed again how hot his skin felt on mine.
我打开车门准备下车，但是他轻轻的抓住了我的手腕让我留在那儿。我再一次感觉到了他发烫的皮肤。
“What is it, Jake?” I asked.
“怎么啦，杰克？”我问道。
“There’s something I want to tell you, Bella… but I think it’s going to sound kind of corny.”
“我想告诉你一些事，贝拉……但是我想它听起来一定毫无新意。”
“It’s just that, I know how you’re unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn’t help anything, but I wanted you to know that I’m always here. I won’t ever let you down — I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?”
“只不过，我明白你非常不快乐。而且，我也许也帮不上什么忙，但是我希望你明白我永远在你身边。我永远不会丢下你——我发誓你可以一直依赖我。哇，真是些陈词滥调对吧。但是你明白，对吗？我永远不会，伤害你？”
“Yeah, Jake. I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know.”
“是的，杰克。我明白。并且我已经非常依赖你了，也许比你知道的还要多。”
I sighed. This would be more of the same from the theater. “Go ahead.”
我叹了口气。一定又是在电影院说过的那些话吧。“说吧。”
A strange look crossed his face. “I really think I’d better go home now,” he said.
他的脸上浮现出一丝奇怪的神情。“我想我最好现在就马上回家，”他说道。
How much I wished that Jacob Black had been born my brother, my flesh-and — blood brother, so that I would have some legitimate claim on him that still left me free of any blame now. Heaven knows I had never wanted to use Jacob, but I couldn’t help but interpret the guilt I felt now to mean that I had.
我多么希望雅各布是我的兄弟，血肉相连的兄弟，那么我就能毫无顾忌的依赖他，而不会像现在这么自责。天知道我从未想过要利用雅各布，但是我现在感觉到的内疚不得不证明我确实利用了他。
I got out quickly.
我马上下了车。
I watched him go, and he seemed to be in control of the car, at least. I stared at the empty street when he was gone, feeling a little sick myself, but not for any physical reason.
我看着他离开，他看起来至少还能开车。当他的车消失以后我盯着空荡荡的街道，我也感觉到有些不舒服，但是并不是由于身体上的原因。
The smile broke across his face the way the sunrise set the clouds on fire, and I wanted to cut my tongue out. I hadn’t said one word that was a lie, but I should have lied. The truth was wrong, it would hurt him. I would let him down.
他的脸上绽放出笑容，就像日出的阳光照亮了周围的云层一样，我真想割掉我的舌头。虽然我的话句句属实，但是我应该编个谎话。说出真心话是不对的，这会伤害他。我一定会让他失望。
Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew — knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest — was how love gave someone the power to break you.
更重要的是，我从未想过要爱上他。有一点我非常明白——在我的内心深处，在我的骨子里，在我空虚的胸腔里，我彻头彻尾的明白——爱是如何让一个人拥有伤人的力量。
“Call me!” I yelled as he pulled away.
“给我打电话！”当他离开的时候我对他喊道。
“I feel fine now,” I said doubtfully. Clearly, I’d been exposed.
“我现在感觉很好，”我不确定的说道。很显然，我也有可能会被传染。
“Mike got sick,” I explained. “Some kind of stomach flu.”
“迈克生病了，”我解释道。“好像是胃肠感冒。”
I went inside to sit by the phone and bite my nails.
我走进屋子坐在电话机旁边，咬着我的指甲。
But I needed Jacob now, needed him like a drug. I’d used him as a crutch for too long, and I was in deeper than I’d planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn’t bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn’t keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, I also knew that I would let him try.
但是我现在需要雅各布，就像吸毒者需要毒品一样的需要他。我已经太长时间把他作为我的精神支柱了，我已经陷的太深而没法依赖其他人。现在我无法忍受他受到伤害，但是我又没法不让他受伤。他认为时间和耐心可以改变我，虽然我知道他大错特错，但是我知道我会继续放任他这么做。
I’d been broken beyond repair.
我已经遍体鳞伤，无法治愈了。
“Movie over already?” Charlie asked in surprise when I came in. He was on the floor, just a foot from the TV. Must be an exciting game.
“电影已经看完啦？”当我走进去的时候查理惊讶的问道。他坐在地板上，离电视只有一英尺的距离。一定是在看场激动人心的比赛。
He was my best friend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough.
他是我最好的朋友。我会一直爱他，而且永远都不会变。
“You okay?”
“你还好吗？”
I leaned against the kitchen counter, my hand inches from the phone, and tried to wait patiently. I thought of the strange look on Jacob’s face before he drove away, and my fingers started drumming against the counter. I should have insisted on driving him home.
我靠在橱房台面上，我的手放在电话旁边，尝试着耐心的等着电话打过来。我想着雅各布开车走之前脸上的奇怪神情，我的手指开始敲击着橱柜。我应该坚持送他回家的。
The way he said it was almost rude.
他说话的方式几乎有些粗鲁。
“No, no,” Billy said quickly. “We’re fine. Stay at your place.”
“不，不，”比利很快说道。“我们很好。你留在家里。”
“Let me know if you need any help,” I offered. “I could come down.” I thought of Billy, stuck in his chair, and Jake fending for himself…
“如果你需要帮忙就告诉我，”我提议道。“我可以过去。”我想到比利，坐在轮椅上不方便行动，杰克得自己照顾自己……
On the eighth ring, just as I was about to hang up, Billy answered.
电话响了第八下的时候，我刚准备挂掉，比利接了电话。
“Billy, it’s me, Bella — did Jake make it home yet? He left here about twenty minutes ago.”
“比利，是我，贝拉——雅各布回家了吗？他二十分钟以前离开的。”
“He was… too sick to call. He’s not feeling well right now.” Billy sounded distant. I realized he must want to be with Jacob.
“他……病得太厉害了没法打电话。他现在感觉很不好。”比利的声音听起来很冷淡。我想他一定想去陪雅各布。
I watched the clock as the minutes ticked by Ten. Fifteen. Even when I was driving, it took only fifteen minutes, and Jacob drove faster than I did. Eighteen minutes. I picked up the phone and dialed.
我盯着时钟，直到时间过去了十分钟。十五分钟。即使是我开车，也只需要十五分钟，而且雅各布开的比我快。十八分钟了。我拿起电话拨通了他家的号码。
“He was supposed to call me.” I was a little irritated. “He was getting sick when he left, and I was worried.”
“他应该给我打个电话的。”我有些恼怒。“他离开的时候有些不舒服，我很担心。”
“He’s here,” Billy said tonelessly.
“他回来了，”比利平淡的说道。
It rang and rang. Maybe Billy was asleep. Maybe I’d dialed wrong. I tried again.
电话一直响了好半天。也许比利睡着了。也许我拨错了号码。我又试了一次。
“Hello?” he asked. His voice was wary, like he was expecting bad news.
“喂？”他说。他的声音很谨慎，好像他预料到了有什么不好的事要发生似的。
He looked at me for a long moment.
他观察了我很长一段时间。
“Bye,” I muttered.
“再见，”我轻声说道。
The line disconnected.
电话被挂断了。
Well, at least he’d made it home. Oddly, I didn’t feel less worried. I trudged up the stairs, fretting. Maybe I would go down before work tomorrow to check on him. I could take soup — we had to have a can of Campbell’s around here somewhere.
好吧，至少他已经回家了。奇怪的是，我并没有因此而放心。我步伐艰难的爬上楼，心情烦躁。也许我明天应该在打工之前去看看他。我可以带些汤过去——家里好像还有一罐坎贝尔罐头汤。
“Bye, Bella.”
“再见，贝拉。”
“Sure, no problem,” Charlie assured me.
“好的，没问题，”查理向我保证道。
“Stomach flu,” he finally said.
“肠胃感冒，”他最终说道。
“Yes,” I moaned.
“是的，”我呻吟道。
“Call the Newtons for me, please,” I instructed hoarsely. “Tell them I have what Mike has, and that I can’t make it in today. Tell them I’m sorry.”
“请帮我给牛顿家打个电话，”我嘶哑着嗓子告诉他。“告诉他们我和迈克染上了一样的病，我今天没法去了。告诉他们我很抱歉。”
“You need something?” he asked.
“你需要些什么吗？”他问道。
I spent the rest of the day on the bathroom floor, sleeping for a few hours with my head on a crumpled up towel. Charlie claimed that he had to work, but I suspected that he just wanted access to a bathroom. He left a glass of water on the floor beside me to keep me hydrated.
我剩下的时候都待在浴室的地板上，把头搁在一张折叠起来的毛巾上睡了好几个小时。查理说他必须要上班，但是我怀疑他只是在家不方便上洗手间。他放了一杯水在我旁边的地板上，让我不至于脱水。
I realized all such plans were canceled when I woke up early — my clock said four thirty — and sprinted to the bathroom. Charlie found me there a half hour later, lying on the floor, my cheek pressed against the cold edge of the bathtub.
当我一大早醒过来时我意识到所以的计划都得取消了——我的时钟显示着四点半——我冲进洗手间。查理在半个小时后发现我，躺在地板上，我的脸贴在冰冷的浴缸边上。
“Okay,” I agreed.
“好的，”我答应道。
“Do you want anything?”
“你需要什么吗？”
“No, thanks.”
“不，谢谢。”
He hesitated, clearly out of his element. “Okay, then,” he said, and then he went back down to the kitchen.
他犹豫着，明显有些无所适从。“那么，好吧，”他说道，然后他就下楼到厨房里去了。
It woke me up when he came back home. I could see that it was dark in my room — after nightfall. He clumped up the stairs to check on me.
他回家的时候吵醒了我。我可以看到房间里已经变黑了——已经过了黄昏了。他爬上来来看我。
I fell asleep on the towel again, but when I woke up I was in my bed and it was light outside my window. I didn’t remember moving; Charlie must have carried me to my room — he’d also put the glass of water on my bedside table. I felt parched. I chugged it down, though it tasted funny from sitting stagnant all night.
我又靠在毛巾上睡着了，但是当我醒过来的时候我已经躺在我床上了，窗外有些光亮。我不记得自己移动过。一定是查理把我抱进房间的——他仍然放了一杯水在我床边的桌子上。我感到口渴。我咕噜咕噜的把水喝了下去，虽然它放了一晚上味道有些奇怪。
“Sort of,” I said.
“还有一口气呢，”我说道。
I heard the phone ring a few minutes later. Charlie spoke to someone in a low voice for a moment, and then hung up.
不一会儿我就听到电话铃响了。查理低声和某个人交谈了一会，然后就挂断了。
I got up slowly, trying not to trigger the nausea again. I was weak, and my mouth tasted horrible, but my stomach felt fine. I looked at my clock.
我慢慢的起身，努力不要再让自己呕吐。我很虚弱，嘴巴里很难受，但是我的胃感觉还好。我看了下时间。
“Still alive?”
“还活着吗？”
“Mike feels better,” he called up to me.
“迈克感觉好多了，”他朝楼上对我喊道。
Well, that was encouraging. He’d only gotten sick eight hours or so before me. Eight more hours. The thought made my stomach turn, and I pulled myself up to lean over the toilet.
噢，真是振奋人心的好消息。他只比我提前了大约八个小时生的病。还有八个小时我也会好转了。想到这里我的胃又开始翻腾起来，我直起身子靠在马桶边上。
“I’m glad I went.” His voice was still a whisper. “Don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault.”
“能去那我很开心。”他的声音依然很低沉。“不要责怪你自己。这不是你的错。”
As soon as I was sure that I wasn’t going to have to spend the day on the bathroom floor again, I called Jacob.
当我一确定自己不再需要整天待在浴室里以后，我就马上给雅各布打电话。
I could barely hear his answer. “I don’t think I have the same thing you did.”
我几乎听不见他回答的声音。“我想我和你染上的不是一种病。”
“That’s good.” His voice was dead.
“太好了。”他死气沉沉的说道。
“Oh, Jake,” I groaned sympathetically. “You sound horrible.”
“噢，杰克，”我深表同情的叹息道。“你的声音听起来真可怕。”
“So you’ll probably be better in a few hours,” I encouraged.
“所以你也许不久也会好起来，”我鼓励着他。
Jacob was the one who answered, but when I heard his greeting I knew he wasn’t over it.
正是雅各布接的电话，当我一听到他跟我打招呼的声音我就知道他还没康复。
“I feel horrible,” he whispered.
“我感到很难受，”他小声说道。
“I’m so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks.”
“我很抱歉让你陪我出去。真是糟糕。”
“Yes, I got it, too. But I’m fine now.”
“是的，我也生病了。但是我现在已经康复了。”
“Don’t you have the stomach flu?” I asked, confused.
“难道你不是得了肠胃感冒吗？”我疑惑的问道。
“You were sick?” he asked dully.
“你生病了吗？”他口齿不清的问道。
“You’ll get better soon,” I promised. “I woke up this morning, and I was fine.”
“你很快就会好起来的，”我保证着。“我早上醒过来的时候，就感觉好多了。”
“Hello?” His voice was broken, cracking.
“喂？”他的声音很嘶哑。
My twenty-four hours were up.
我的二十四小时已经过去了。
I didn’t push it, eating nothing but saltine crackers for breakfast. Charlie looked relieved to see me recovered.
我不想给胃施加压力，除了早餐吃了几块咸饼干外什么也没吃。查理看到我康复了也放心了。
“No. This is something else.”
“不。应该是其它的原因。”
“I’ll see you soon,” I finally said. “Wait for me to call,” he said again. “Okay… Bye, Jacob.”
“再见吧，”我最后说道。“等我给你打电话，”他再次说道。“好的……再见，雅各布。”
“Call me when you feel better.”
“你好些了就给我打电话。”
The pain in his voice was nearly tangible.
他声音里流露出的痛苦我几乎都可以感受得到。
“What can I do, Jake? What can I bring you?”
“我可以做什么呢，杰克？我可以给你带些什么过去呢？”
“I’ve got to go,” he said with sudden urgency.
“我得走了，”他突然急切的说道。
“Nothing. You can’t come here.” He was abrupt. It reminded me of Billy the other night.
“什么都不要。你不能过来。”他唐突的说道。这让我想起了比利那天晚上的话。
“Right,” he agreed, and his voice had a strange, bitter edge.
“好的，”他答应我，他的声音有些奇怪和痛苦。
He ignored me. “I’ll call you when I can. I’ll let you know when you can come down again.”
他没有理会我的话。“如果我好些了我给你打电话。我会告诉你什么时候可以再过来。”
“Jacob –“
“雅各布——”
“I’ve already been exposed to whatever you have,” I pointed out.
“我已经感染过你得的病了，”我向他指出来。
He was silent for a moment. I was waiting for him to say goodbye, but he waited too.
他沉默了一会。我等着他跟我道别，但是他也同样等着我。
“What’s wrong with you?”
“你到底怎么啦？”
“Bella,” he whispered my name, and then hung up the phone.
“贝拉，”他轻轻的喊着我的名字，然后就挂断了电话。
“Everything,” he whispered. “Every part of me hurts.”
“所有的地方，”他小声的说道。“我身体的每一个部位都很痛。”
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