It had taken much less time than I’d thought — all the terror, the despair, the shattering of my heart. The minutes were ticking by more slowly than usual. Jasper still hadn’t come back when I returned to Alice. I was afraid to be in the same room with her, afraid that she would guess… and afraid to hide from her for the same reason.
做到这一点所花的时间比我认为的还要短——所有的恐惧和绝望，还有我破碎的心。时间一分一秒地过去，流淌得比平时还蛮。当我回到爱丽丝那里时，贾斯帕还没回来。我很怕和她待在同一个房间里，生怕她会猜到…也害怕着，需要因为同样的理由而隐瞒她。
I would have thought I was far beyond the ability to be surprised, my thoughts tortured and unstable, but I was surprised when I saw Alice bent over the desk, gripping the edge with two hands. “Alice?”
我本以为自己已经没有余力去感到惊讶里，因为我的心一直忐忑不安，已经饱受折磨。但当我看到爱丽丝伏在桌子上，两手紧紧地抓着桌子边缘时，我依然吃了一惊。“爱丽丝？”
“What is it?” he demanded.
“怎么回事？”他询问道。
I hurried to her side, reaching out automatically to touch her hand.
我飞快地冲到她身旁，本能地伸出手想拉着她的手。
She didn’t react when I called her name, but her head was slowly rocking side to side, and I saw her face. Her eyes were blank, dazed… My thoughts flew to my mother. Was I already too late?
我喊她的名字，她没有反应，但她的头慢慢地转了过来，我看见了她的脸。她的脸色很苍白，脸上一片迷茫…我立刻想到了我母亲。已经太迟了吗？
“Alice!” Jasper’s voice whipped, and then he was right behind her, his hands curling over hers, loosening them from their grip on the table. Across the room, the door swung shut with a low click.
“爱丽丝！”贾斯帕的声音听起来像是被鞭子抽了一样。然后，他立刻出现在了她身后，他的手交缠在她的手上，把它们从桌子上掰开。房间的另一头，房门啪地一声轻轻关上了。
“I’m right here,” I replied.
“我在这里。”我答道。
Jasper looked at me sharply. I kept my expression vacant and waited. His eyes were confused as they flickered swiftly between Alice’s face and mine, feeling the chaos… for I could guess what Alice had seen now.
贾斯帕狠狠地看着我。我让自己面无表情，等待着。他的目光轮流扫过在爱丽丝和我的脸，眼里写满了困惑…我猜到了爱丽丝看到的东西。
She turned her face away from me, into his chest. “Bella,” she said.
她把脸埋到他胸口，不再看我。“贝拉。”她说道。
“What did you see?” I said — and there was no question in my flat, uncaring voice.
“你看见了什么？”我说道——但我波澜不兴，漠不关心的声音里没有半点疑问。
I felt a tranquil atmosphere settle around me. I welcomed it, using it to keep my emotions disciplined, under control.
我感到一阵宁静笼罩着我。我对这宁静很是欢迎，利用它来控制自己的情绪，让自己的思绪有条不紊。
“Nothing, really,” she answered finally, her voice remarkably calm and convincing. “Just the same room as before.”
“没事，真的。”她最终答道，她的声音异常地平静，令人信服。“跟之前的那间房间一样。”
Alice, too, recovered herself.
爱丽丝也恢复了过来。
She finally looked at me, her expression smooth and withdrawn. “Did you want breakfast?”
她终于看向我，她的神情既平静又孤僻。“你想吃早餐了吗？”
“No, I’ll eat at the airport.” I was very calm, too. I went to the bathroom to shower. Almost as if I were borrowing Jasper’s strange extra sense, I could feel Alice’s wild though well-concealed desperation to have me out of the room, to be alone with Jasper. So she could tell him that they were doing something wrong, that they were going to fail…
“不，我会在机场吃早餐。”我也很平静。我走进浴室，去洗个澡。简直像是我借用了贾斯帕的特异感觉一样，我能感觉到爱丽丝强烈的尽管她掩饰得很好绝望地想让我离开这间屋子，让她和贾斯帕独处的情绪。这样她就能告诉他他们做错了某件事，他们注定要失败…
Her head twisted around, her eyes locking on mine, their expression still strangely blank. I realized at once that she hadn’t been speaking to me, she’d been answering Jasper’s question.
她的头转了过来，她的目光锁住了我的眼睛，眼里依然是一副诡异的空白的神情。我立刻意识到，她不是在叫我，她是在回答贾斯帕的问题。
I got ready methodically, concentrating on each little task. I left my hair down, swirling around me, covering my face. The peaceful mood Jasper created worked its way through me and helped me think clearly. Helped me plan. I dug through my bag until I found my sock full of money. I emptied it into my pocket.
我有条不紊地做着准备，全神贯注地做好每一件琐事。我把头发放下来，披散在肩上，遮盖住自己的脸。贾斯帕所营造的安宁的气氛很有用，它能帮助我条理清晰地思考着。也有助于我的计划。我在书包里翻找着，挖出了我那只装满了钱的袜子。我把它倒空，把钱全部塞进了我的钱包里。
I was anxious to get to the airport, and glad when we left by seven. I sat alone this time in the back of the dark car. Alice leaned against the door, her face toward Jasper but, behind her sunglasses, shooting glances in my direction every few seconds.
我迫不及待地想要到机场去，当我们在七点整出发的时候，我深感欣慰。这一次我独自坐在那辆黑色的轿车后排。爱丽丝倚在门上，她的脸朝着贾斯帕，但是，在她的太阳眼镜之下，她的眼睛每隔几秒就会向我的方向瞥一眼。
“Alice?” I asked indifferently.
“爱丽丝？”我漠不关心地问道。
“Yes, things change…” she murmured hopefully, I thought. “Some things are more certain than others… like the weather. People are harder. I only see the course they’re on while they’re on it. Once they change their minds make a new decision, no matter how small the whole future shifts.” I nodded thoughtfully. “So you couldn’t see James in Phoenix until he decided to come here.”
“是的，事情会改变…”她喃喃低语着，我觉得，她似乎又燃起了希望。“有些事情会预测更准确些…比方说天气。但人们是很难预测的。我只能在他们开始前进时看到他们前进的方向。一旦他们改变了主意做出一个新的决定，不管那决定有多么微小整个未来就会改变了。”我若有所思地点了点头。“所以你一直看不到詹姆斯在凤凰城，直到他决定来这里为止。”
She was wary. “Yes?”
她很警惕。“嗯？”
“How does it work? The things that you see?” I stared out the side window, and my voice sounded bored. “Edward said it wasn’t definite… that things change?” It was harder than I would have thought to say his name. That must have been what alerted Jasper, why a fresh wave of serenity filled the car.
“这是怎么做到的？你是怎么看见事物的呢？”我看向另一侧的窗外，我的声音听起来兴趣索然。“爱德华说过这不是很准确…事情会改变吗？”说出他的名字比我想过的还要困难。这一定让贾斯帕警惕起来，于是，一阵新鲜的清朗之气涤荡在车内。
“Yes,” she agreed, wary again.
“是的。”她赞同道，又警惕起来。
And she hadn’t seen me in the mirror room with James until I’d made the decision to meet him there. I tried not to think about what else she might have seen. I didn’t want my panic to make Jasper more suspicious. They would be watching me twice as carefully now, anyway, after Alice’s vision. This was going to be impossible.
所以，在我决定去那里见詹姆斯以前，她不会在那间镜屋里看到我和他在一起。我试图不去思考她看到的到底是什么。我不想让自己的恐惧惊动贾斯帕，让他起疑心。无论如何，在爱丽丝看见了那些以后，他们会比平常更细心两倍地监视着我。这将会让我的一切努力成为不可能。
We got to the airport. Luck was with me, or maybe it was just good odds. Edward’s plane was landing in terminal four, the largest terminal, where most flights landed so it wasn’t surprising that his was. But it was the terminal I needed: the biggest, the most confusing. And there was a door on level three that might be the only chance.
我们到了机场。幸运之神站在了我这边，或许这只是因为赔率比较高。爱德华的飞机要在四个小时以后才会降落，那个航班将停靠在最大的那个候机楼里，而那时正是最多航班降落的时候当然，他的飞机会在这个时间这个地点降落并不令人惊讶。但这正是我所需要的那座航空楼：最大的，最容易让人迷路的那一座，而候机楼三层的那道门将是我唯一的机会。
We parked on the fourth floor of the huge garage. I led the way, for once more knowledgeable about my surroundings than they were. We took the elevator down to level three, where the passengers unloaded. Alice and Jasper spent a long time looking at the departing flights board. I could hear them discussing the pros and cons of New York, Atlanta, Chicago. Places I’d never seen. And would never see.
我们把车停在了那个巨大的停车楼的四层。我负责带路，因为我曾来过这里，所以比他们更熟悉周围的环境。我们坐电梯到了三层，那里是乘客办理行李托运的地方。有很长一段时间，爱丽丝和贾斯帕都在看着即将起飞的航班办理登机手续的情景。我能听到他们在讨论着纽约，亚特兰大和芝加哥的优点和缺点。我从没见过那些地方。我再也不会有机会见到的地方。
I waited for my opportunity, impatient, unable to stop my toe from tapping. We sat in the long rows of chairs by the metal detectors, Jasper and Alice pretending to people-watch but really watching me. Every inch I shifted in my seat was followed by a quick glance out of the corner of their eyes. It was hopeless. Should I run? Would they dare to stop me physically in this public place? Or would they simply follow?
我在焦急地等待着合适的时机，我的脚不听使唤地打着拍子。我们坐在金属探测器旁的一排排椅子上，贾斯帕和爱丽丝假装在看着来来往往的人群，实际上却是在监视着我。这真让人绝望。我应该跑吗？他们敢在这样的公共场合阻止我吗？又或者他们只会跟着我？
I pulled the unmarked envelope out of my pocket and set it on top of Alice’s black leather bag. She looked at me.
我把那封尚未署名的信封从钱包里拿出来，放到爱丽丝那只黑色的皮包上。她看着我。
“My letter,” I said. She nodded, tucking it under the top flap. He would find it soon enough.
“我的信。”我说道。她点了点头，把那封信收到皮包最外面的夹层里。他很快就会看到它了。
Several times Alice offered to go get breakfast with me. Later, I told her, not yet.
爱丽丝几次提出要陪我去吃早餐。再等会儿，我告诉她，我还不饿。
The minutes passed and Edward’s arrival grew closer. It was amazing how every cell in my body seemed to know he was coming, to long for his coming. That made it very hard. I found myself trying to think of excuses to stay, to see him first and then make my escape. But I knew that was impossible if I was going to have any chance to get away.
时间一分一秒地过去，爱德华的到来越来越近了。这实在是件惊人的事，我体内的每一个细胞似乎都知道他就要到来，都渴望着他的到来。这让事情变得很棘手。我发现自己试图想出留下来的借口，想要先看他一眼，再脱身而去。但我知道，只要我有任何机会脱身，这一切就不可能发生。
Alice stood. “I’ll come with you.”
爱丽丝站起来。“我和你一起去。”
I stared at the arrival board, watching as flight after flight arrived on time. The flight from Seattle crept closer to the top of the board.
我盯着到达航班布告屏，看着一个又一个航班准时抵达。从西雅图飞来的航班越来越靠近布告屏的顶端了。
And then, when I had only thirty minutes to make my escape, the numbers changed. His plane was ten minutes early. I had no more time.
然后，当我还剩下三十分钟可以脱身的时候，屏幕上的数字变了。他的航班提前十分钟到达。我没时间了。
“I think I’ll eat now,” I said quickly.
“我想我现在需要吃点东西了。”我迅速说道。
Jasper walked silently beside me, his hand on the small of my back, as if he were guiding me. I pretended a lack of interest in the first few airport cafes,
贾斯帕沉默地走在我身旁，他的手轻轻点着我的背，就好像他在给我领路一样。我假装对最先遇到的那几家机场咖啡屋毫无兴趣，
“Do you mind if Jasper comes instead?” I asked. “I’m feeling a little…” I didn’t finish the sentence. My eyes were wild enough to convey what I didn’t say.
“你介意让贾斯帕陪我吗？”我问道。“我觉得有点…”我没把句子说完。我眼里的狂乱已足以表达我没有说出的一切。
my head scanning for what I really wanted. And there it was, around the corner, out of Alice’s sharp sight: the level-three ladies’ room.
我的脑子在搜寻着我真正想要的某物。然后，我找到了，就在拐角处那里，爱丽丝锐利的目光所及范围之外：三层女化妆间。
Jasper stood up. Alice’s eyes were confused, but I saw to my relief not suspicious.
贾斯帕站了起来。爱丽丝的眼里写满了困惑，但令我宽慰的是，我看到她眼里并没有怀疑的痕迹。
Do you mind? I asked Jasper as we passed. I’ll just be a moment. I’ll be right here, he said.
“你介意吗？”当我们走过那间化妆间前时，我问贾斯帕。“我只占用一点点时间。”“我会在这里等着。”他说道。
She must be attributing the change in her vision to some maneuver of the tracker’s rather than a betrayal by me.
她一定把自己所预见的改变归咎于追随者的某种阴谋，根本没想到是我的背叛。
Around the corner the elevators were waiting, and I dashed forward, throwing my hand between the closing doors of a full elevator headed down.
拐过拐角，电梯正在那里等着，我夺路狂奔，把手伸进那架载满了人的下行电梯即将关闭的门里。我用力挤进那群愤怒的乘客里，看了一眼按钮板，
I didn’t look behind me as I ran. This was my only chance, and even if he saw me, I had to keep going. People stared, but I ignored them.
当我奔跑的时候，我没有回头张望。这是我唯一的几乎，即使他看见我了，我也得继续跑。人们都在盯着我看，但我不去理会他们。
I squeezed in beside the irritated passengers, and checked to make sure that the button for level one had been pushed. It was already lit, and the doors closed.
想知道一层的按钮是否已经被按下了。那个按钮已经亮了起来，电梯门关上了。
Outside the far door it was only a short sprint to the elevators, and if Jasper stayed where he said he would, I’d never be in his line of sight.
出了远处的那个门，只需再冲刺一小段路就能到达电梯。如果贾斯帕真的像他说的那样待在那里等着的话，他绝对不会看见我。
As soon as the door opened I was off again, to the sound of annoyed murmurs behind me. I slowed myself as I passed the security guards by the luggage carousels, only to break into a run again as the exit doors came into view. I had no way of knowing if Jasper was looking for me yet.
一等电梯门打开，我又挤了出去，身后传来一阵恼怒的喃喃低语声。当我从自动扶梯上穿过安保岗时，我放慢了速度。当出口出现在眼前时，我又狂奔起来。我已经来不及细想贾斯帕是否正在找我了。
As soon as the door shut behind me, I was running. I remembered the time I had gotten lost from this bathroom, because it had two exits.
身后的门刚刚关上，我立刻狂奔起来。我还记得，上次我曾在这个化妆间里迷路，因为这里有两个出口。
I would have only seconds if he was following my scent. I jumped out the automatic doors, nearly smacking into the glass when they opened too slowly.
如果他循着我的味道跟着我时，我就只剩下几秒钟的时间了。我冲向自动门，因为它们打开地太慢，我还差点撞到了玻璃上。
“This is the shuttle to the Hyatt,” the driver said in confusion as he opened the doors.
“这是去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士”司机用困惑的声音说着，打开了门。
“Wait!” I called, running, waving at the driver.
“等一下”我大喊着跑过去，一路冲着司机招手。
I had no time. Alice and Jasper were either about to realize I was gone, or they already had. They would find me in a heartbeat.
我没时间了。爱丽丝和贾斯帕就要知道我的逃跑了，或者，他们已经知道了。只需一下心跳的时间他们就能找到我。
Along the crowded curb there wasn’t a cab in sight.
在拥挤的马路旁，我一辆的士都没看见。
He looked askance at my luggage-less state, but then shrugged, not caring enough to ask.
他斜着眼看着没带任何行李的我，却只是耸耸肩，懒得发问。
Most of the seats were empty. I sat as far from the other travelers as possible, and watched out the window as first the sidewalk, and then the airport, drifted away. I couldn’t help imagining Edward, where he would stand at the edge of the road when he found the end of my trail. I couldn’t cry yet, I told myself. I still had a long way to go.
大多数的座位都空着，我尽可能地坐得离别的乘客更远些，然后看向窗外。第一眼先看人行道，再看机场，然后我的目光在这两者之间游离不定。我情不自禁地想象着爱德华的样子，想象着他追随着我的踪迹，然后站在了马路边上的样子。我还不能哭，我告诉自己，我还有很长的路要走。
“Yes,” I huffed, “that’s where I’m going.” I hurried up the steps.
“是的”我怒气冲冲地说道“这正是我要去的地方”我赶忙奔上那几级踏板。
My luck held. In front of the Hyatt, a tired-looking couple was getting their last suitcase out of the trunk of a cab. I jumped out of the shuttle and ran to the cab, sliding into the seat behind the driver. The tired couple and the shuttle driver stared at me.
我的运气显灵了。机场宾馆的门口，一对看上去很疲惫的夫妇正在把他们的最后一件行李从一辆的士的后备箱里拿出来。我跳下穿梭巴士，奔向那辆的士，迅速坐进司机身后的那个作为上。那对疲倦的夫妇和那个穿梭巴士司机都盯着我看。
A shuttle to the Hyatt was just closing its doors a few feet behind me.
在离我几步远的地方，一辆去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士刚刚关上门。
“That’s in Scottsdale,” he complained.
“那可是在菲尼克斯”他抱怨道。
I told the surprised cabbie my mother’s address. “I need to get there as soon as possible.”
我把我妈妈的住址告诉了那个一脸惊讶的出租车司机“我要尽快赶到那里，越快越好”
“Sure, kid, no problem.”
“当然，孩子，没问题。”
“Will that be enough?”
“这些够了吗？”
I threw four twenties over the seat.
我把四张二十美元的钞票扔到前排座位上。
I sat back against the seat, folding my arms across my lap. The familiar city began to rush around me, but I didn’t look out the windows. I exerted myself to maintain control. I was determined not to lose myself at this point, now that my plan was successfully completed. There was no point in indulging in more terror, more anxiety. My path was set. I just had to follow it now.
我坐回座位上，双臂交叠着抱住膝盖。熟悉的城市开始包围着我，但我根本不想看出窗外去。我努力让自己保持自制力。既然我的计划进行得如此顺利，我下定决心不让自己在这个时候崩溃。让自己沉浸在更多的恐惧和焦虑中是毫无意义的。我已经选择了这条路。现在我所能是继续走下去。
So, instead of panicking, I closed my eyes and spent the twenty minutes’ drive with Edward.
所以，我不再惶恐，而是闭上眼睛，用那二十分钟的车程尽情想着爱德华。
I imagined that I had stayed at the airport to meet Edward. I visualized how I would stand on my toes, the sooner to see his face. How quickly, how gracefully he would move through the crowds of people separating us. And then I would run to close those last few feet between us reckless as always and I would be in his marble arms, finally safe.
我想象着自己留在机场，与爱德华相见。我想象着，自己会怎样踮起脚尖，想要早些看见他的脸；他会怎样迅速而又优雅地穿过分隔着我们的拥挤的人群。然后，我会像平常一样鲁莽地冲上前去，走完我们之间的最后几步，然后落入他大理石般的怀抱。最终，我会平安无恙。
I could see his face so clearly now… almost hear his voice. And, despite all the horror and hopelessness, I was fleetingly happy. So involved was I in my escapist daydreams, I lost all track of the seconds racing by.
现在，我是如此清晰的看到了他的脸…几乎都能听到他的声音了。尽管有如此多的恐惧和绝望，我依然抓住了这短暂的欢乐。我太沉迷于自己逃避现实的白日梦里了，以至于完全忘记了时间的流逝。
“Hey, what was the number?”
“嗨，门牌号是多少？”
I wondered where we would have gone. North somewhere, so he could be outside in the day. Or maybe somewhere very remote, so we could lay in the sun together again. I imagined him by the shore, his skin sparkling like the sea. It wouldn’t matter how long we had to hide. To be trapped in a hotel room with him would be a kind of heaven. So many questions I still had for him. I could talk to him forever, never sleeping, never leaving his side.
我想知道我们将会去那里。也许是北方的某个地方，这样他就能在白天外出。又或许是某个非常偏远的地方，这样我们就能再次躺在阳光下。我想象着他在海滩上的样子，他的肌肤会像海水一样闪闪发光。我不在乎我们得躲藏多久。和他一起困住宾馆房间里的时光一定宛如天堂。我还有那么多的问题想要问题。我可以一直和他谈话，永远也不睡觉，永远不离开他身边。
The cabbie’s question punctured my fantasy, letting all the colors run out of my lovely delusions. Fear, bleak and hard, was waiting to fill the empty space they left behind.
出租车司机的发问打破了我的白日梦，我幻觉里的所有色彩都荡然无存。恐惧，凄凉和艰难，正等着填补幻觉消失后所留下来的空白。
“Here we are, then.” He was anxious to get me out of his car, probably hoping I wouldn’t ask for my change.
“那么，你到了。”他不安地看着我下车，也许只是在希望着我不要让他找钱。
“Fifty-eight twenty-one.” My voice sounded strangled. The cabbie looked at me, nervous that I was having an episode or something.
“5821。”我的声音听起来快要窒息了。那个司机紧张地看着我，就好像我是某个有趣的小插曲。
“Thank you,” I whispered. There was no need to be afraid, I reminded myself. The house was empty. I had to hurry; my mom was waiting for me, frightened, depending on me.
“谢谢。”我喃喃低语着。没有必要感到害怕，我提醒自己。家里现在没人。我得抓紧时间。我的母亲正等着我，她一定已经吓坏了，只能指望我。
I ran to the door, reaching up automatically to grab the key under the eave. I unlocked the door. It was dark inside, empty, normal. I ran to the phone, turning on the kitchen light on my way. There, on the whiteboard, was a ten-digit number written in a small, neat hand. My fingers stumbled over the keypad, making mistakes. I had to hang up and start again. I concentrated only on the buttons this time, carefully pressing each one in turn. I was successful. I held the phone to my ear with a shaking hand. It rang only once.
我跑向大门，本能地伸出手去取屋檐下的钥匙。我打开了门。屋里很黑，空无一人，一切正常。我向电话机跑去，在路上打开了厨房的灯。在那里，就在那块白板上，写着一行十位数字，字迹小巧工整。我的手指颤抖着伸向电话键盘，却拨错了。我不得不挂上电话，重新拨号。这次我把注意力全都集中在按钮上，小心地按顺序按下每一个按钮。我成功了。我用颤抖的手把电话举到耳边。电话只响了一下就接通了。
“Very good. Now, do you know the ballet studio just around the corner from your home?”
“非常好。现在，你知不知道你家附近的那家芭蕾舞教室？”
“Hello, Bella,” that easy voice answered. “That was very quick. I’m impressed.”
“你好，贝拉。”那个从容不迫的声音说道。“你真的很快。我对此印象深刻。”
“Is my mom all right?”
“我妈妈还好吗？”
“She’s perfectly fine. Don’t worry, Bella, I have no quarrel with her. Unless you didn’t come alone, of course.” Light, amused.
“她相当好。别担心，贝拉，我没和她吵架。当然，除非你不是一个人来。”
“I’m alone.” I’d never been more alone in my entire life.
“就我一个人。”终我一生，我都没有如此孤独过。
“Well, then, I’ll see you very soon.”
“很好，那么，我们待会见，很快。”
I ran from the room, through the door, out into the baking heat.
我跑出房间，穿过大门，冲进灼人的热浪里。
There was no time to look back at my house, and I didn’t want to see it as it was now empty, a symbol of fear instead of sanctuary. The last person to walk through those familiar rooms was my enemy.
没有时间回头再看一眼我的家了，我也不想看到它现在这个样子空无一人，成为了恐惧而非避难所的象征。上一个走过这些房间的人是我的敌人。
I hung up.
我挂上了电话。
From the corner of my eye, I could almost see my mother standing in the shade of the big eucalyptus tree where I’d played as a child. Or kneeling by the little plot of dirt around the mailbox, the cemetery of all the flowers she’d tried to grow. The memories were better than any reality I would see today. But I raced away from them, toward the corner, leaving everything behind me.
通过眼角的余光，我仿佛看见了我的母亲站在那棵巨大的桉树的阴影里，看着还是个孩子的我玩耍着。她仿佛又跪在了信箱旁的那小小的一掊土旁，那是她试图种养的所有花儿的墓地。那些回忆比我今天所看到的所有真实都更加美好。但我飞快地从它们身旁跑开，冲向街道的拐角处，把一切都抛在了身后。
“Yes. I know how to get there.”
“知道。我知道怎么去那里。”
I felt so slow, like I was running through wet sand I couldn’t seem to get enough purchase from the concrete. I tripped several times, once falling, catching myself with my hands, scraping them on the sidewalk, and then lurching up to plunge forward again. But at last I made it to the corner. Just another street now; I ran, sweat pouring down my face, gasping. The sun was hot on my skin, too bright as it bounced off the white concrete and blinded me. I felt dangerously exposed. More fiercely than I would have dreamed I was capable of, I wished for the green, protective forests of Forks… of home.
我总觉得自己跑得太慢，仿佛自己正在泥泞的沙地上奔跑一样我似乎没法从水泥地上得到足够的支撑力。我被绊到了好几次，还有一次摔倒了。我伸出手想稳住自己，我的手在人行道上蹭破了皮。我摇摇晃晃地爬起来，继续向前跑去。最终，我跑过了那个街角。现在只剩一条街了。我喘息着，奔跑着，汗水自我的脸上倾注而下。阳光灼烧着我的肌肤，白色的水泥地面上反射着太过明亮的光线，晃了我的眼。我觉得自己被极其危险地一览无遗。我强烈地，比我所能想到的还要强烈得多的，思念着福克斯那翠绿的，给予庇护的森林…思念着我的家。
When I rounded the last corner, onto Cactus, I could see the studio, looking just as I remembered it. The parking lot in front was empty, the vertical blinds in all the windows drawn. I couldn’t run anymore I couldn’t breathe; exertion and fear had gotten the best of me. I thought of my mother to keep my feet moving, one in front of the other.
当我转过最后一个街角，冲进仙人掌街的时候，我能看到那间舞蹈教室了，它看上去依然是我记忆中的那个样子。教室门前的停车位是空的，屋里所有的竖式窗帘都拉了下来。我跑不动了我甚至没法呼吸，筋疲力尽和恐惧夺走了我的优势。我想着我的母亲，这才能让自己迈动步子，一步接一步地往前走。
The lobby was dark and empty, cool, the air conditioner thrumming. The plastic molded chairs were stacked along the walls, and the carpet smelled like shampoo. The west dance floor was dark, I could see through the open viewing window. The east dance floor, the bigger room, was lit. But the blinds were closed on the window.
大厅里阴暗又空旷，很是凉爽，空调嗡嗡响着。那些塑料扶手椅靠墙叠放着，地毯闻起来像是洗发水的味道。西面的舞蹈室里很暗，我能从那扇敞开的观察窗里看到那整个房间。东边的那间更大的舞蹈室的灯亮着，但那边的窗子的帘子拉了下来。
Terror seized me so strongly that I was literally trapped by it. I couldn’t make my feet move forward.
恐惧牢牢地抓住我，我简直要被困在其中了。我没法让自己迈动步子。
As I got closer, I could see the sign inside the door. It was handwritten on hot pink paper; it said the dance studio was closed for spring break. I touched the handle, tugged on it cautiously. It was unlocked. I fought to catch my breath, and opened the door.
当我走得更近些的时候，我看到了门里贴着的那张告示。那是一张手写的，写在深粉红色的纸张上的告示，上面说舞蹈教室因为春假而暂时关闭。我伸手去摸扶手，警惕地拧动它。门没锁。我强迫自己稳住呼吸，然后打开了门。
And then my mother’s voice called.
然后，我妈妈的声音在大喊着。
Bella? Bella? That same tone of hysterical panic. I sprinted to the door, to the sound of her voice.
“贝拉？贝拉？”一模一样的充满了竭斯底里的恐惧的声音。我奋力冲向那扇门，冲向她的声音。
There she was, on the TV screen, tousling my hair in relief. It was Thanksgiving, and I was twelve. We’d gone to see my grandmother in California, the last year before she died. We went to the beach one day, and I’d leaned too far over the edge of the pier. She’d seen my feet flailing, trying to reclaim my balance. Bella? Bella? she’d called to me in fear.
她在那里，在电视屏幕上，如释重负地抚弄着我的发。那是在感恩节，我那时十二岁。我们去看住在加利福尼亚的外祖母，那是在她去世的前一年。有一天我们去了海滩，我靠得离码头的边缘太远了。她看到我的脚有些不稳，试图抓住我让我保持平衡。“贝拉？贝拉？”她惊恐地冲我大喊。
Bella, you scared me! Don’t you ever do that to me again! Her voice continued as I ran into the long, high-ceilinged room.
“贝拉，你吓坏我了！你可不能再这样对我了！”当我奔进那间长长的，天花板很高的房间时，她的声音继续说着。
I turned slowly. He was standing very still by the back exit, so still I hadn’t noticed him at first. In his hand was a remote control. We stared at each other for a long moment, and then he smiled.
我慢慢地转过身去。他一动不动地站在后面的那个出口前，所以起初我完全没有注意到他。他手里拿着一只遥控器。我们久久地凝望着彼此，然后，他笑了。
I stared around me, trying to find where her voice was coming from. I heard her laugh, and I whirled to the sound.
我环顾四周，试图找出她的声音是在哪里发出来的。我听到了她的笑声，急忙转过去面向她的声音。
He walked toward me, quite close, and then passed me to put the remote down next to the VCR. I turned carefully to watch him.
他向我走来，走到离我很近的地方，然后从我身旁走过去，把遥控器放到录像机旁。我小心地转过身去看着他。
And then the TV screen was blue.
然后，电视机屏幕变成了蓝屏。
“Sorry about that, Bella, but isn’t it better that your mother didn’t really have to be involved in all this?” His voice was courteous, kind.
“我对此事很抱歉，贝拉，但你的母亲并没有真的被牵扯进来，这不是更好吗？”他的声音既谦恭又友好。
And suddenly it hit me. My mother was safe. She was still in Florida. She’d never gotten my message. She’d never been terrified by the dark red eyes in the abnormally pale face before me. She was safe.
忽然间，这个事实向我迎头击下。我的母亲安全了。她还在佛罗里达。她从没接到我的留言。她从没被我眼前这张异常苍白的脸上那双阴暗的血红双眼所吓到。她安全了。
“Yes,” I answered, my voice saturated with relief.
“是的，”我答道。我的声音里渗满了宽慰。
“How odd. You really mean it.” His dark eyes assessed me with interest. The irises were nearly black, just a hint of ruby around the edges. Thirsty. “I will give your strange coven this much, you humans can be quite interesting. I guess I can see the draw of observing you. It’s amazing some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest at all.”
“真奇怪。你就是这个意思。”他阴暗的眼睛饶有趣味地估量着我。他的虹膜几近黑色，仅仅是在虹膜边缘才有一丝深红色。口渴。“我给你那个古怪的巫会送上这样一份大礼，你这个人类一定会很感兴趣的。我猜，通过观察你，我看到了一场精彩的演出。这实在很惊人你们中的一些人完全没有注意到你的私心。”
“You don’t sound angry that I tricked you.” “I’m not.” My sudden high made me brave. What did it matter now? It would soon be over. Charlie and Mom would never be harmed, would never have to fear. I felt almost giddy. Some analytical part of my mind warned me that I was dangerously close to snapping from the stress.
“你听起来并没有因为我欺骗你而生气。”“我没有。”我突如其来的情绪高涨让我勇敢了起来。现在这件事还重要吗？一切很快就要结束了。查理和妈妈永远不会受到伤害，永远不必恐惧。我感到一阵头晕目眩。我脑子里的某些善于推理的部分警告我，我现在很危险，很有可能会因为压力的骤然消失而崩溃掉。
“No, I don’t think so. At least, I asked him not to.”
“不，我不这样认为。至少，我告诉过他不要这样做。”
“I suppose you’re going to tell me that your boyfriend will avenge you?” he asked, hopefully it seemed to me.
“我猜，你会告诉我，你的男朋友会为你复仇的？”他问道，对我来说，他看上去满怀希望。
He was standing a few feet away from me, arms folded, looking at me curiously. There was no menace in his face or stance. He was so very average-looking, nothing remarkable about his face or body at all. Just the white skin, the circled eyes I’d grown so used to. He wore a pale blue, long-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans.
他站在离我只有几英尺远的地方，交叠着双臂，好奇地看着我。他的表情和站姿没有透露出半点威胁的意味。他真的相貌平平，五官和身材都没有任何特别之处。只有那雪白的肌肤，还有我已经被培养得开始习惯了的有着黑眼圈的眼睛，他穿着一件淡蓝色的长袖恤衫，还有一条褪了色的蓝色牛仔裤。
“And what was his reply to that?”
“那么，他的回答是什么？”
“How romantic, a last letter. And do you think he will honor it?” His voice was just a little harder now, a hint of sarcasm marring his polite tone.
“真浪漫，最后的一封信。你认为他会遵守信中的内容吗？”他的声音听起来生硬了些，一丝讽刺破坏了他礼貌的语气。
I waited in silence.
我沉默地等待着。
“I hope so.”
“我希望他会。”
“I don’t know.” It was strangely easy to converse with this genteel hunter. “I left him a letter.”
“我不知道。”与这个优雅的捕猎者交谈轻松得有些奇怪。“我给他留了一封信。”
“Hmmm. Well, our hopes differ then. You see, this was all just a little too easy, too quick. To be quite honest, I’m disappointed. I expected a much greater challenge. And, after all, I only needed a little luck.”
“呃嗯。好吧，那么我们的愿望很不一致。你看，这太容易了，太快了些。老实说，我有点失望。我本来还期待着更大的挑战。可到头来，我只需要一点运气。”
“Then your boyfriend got on a plane to Phoenix. Victoria was monitoring them for me, naturally; in a game with this many players, I couldn’t be working alone. And so they told me what I’d hoped, that you were here after all. I was prepared; I’d already been through your charming home movies. And then it was simply a matter of the bluff.
然后，你的男朋友坐上了飞往凤凰城的航班。很自然地，维多利亚把这件事告诉了我。在这场游戏里有这么多的玩家，我不可能是孤军奋战。所以，这些讯息告诉了我我所希望的事情，你终究是在这里。我做好了准备。我看完了你那些迷人的家庭录像。然后，只剩下虚张声势的问题。
“When Victoria couldn’t get to your father, I had her find out more about you. There was no sense in running all over the planet chasing you down when I could comfortably wait for you in a place of my choosing. So, after I talked to Victoria, I decided to come to Phoenix to pay your mother a visit. I’d heard you say you were going home. At first, I never dreamed you meant it. But then I wondered. Humans can be very predictable; they like to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. And wouldn’t it be the perfect ploy, to go to the last place you should be when you’re hiding the place that you said you’d be.
“在维多利亚没法靠近你父亲的时候，我让她找出更多关于你的信息。在我能够舒舒服服地在我选中的地方等着你的时候，就没有必要满世界地追着你跑了。所以，在我和维多利亚聊过以后，我决定来凤凰城拜访一下你母亲。我听到你说你要回家。起初，我从没想过你确实是这样做的。但之后我起了疑心。人类很容易被预测。他们喜欢待在熟悉的地方，安全的地方。这实在是个完美的做法，躲到你最不可能去躲藏的地方你说你会去的地方。”
“But of course I wasn’t sure, it was just a hunch. I usually get a feeling about the prey that I’m hunting, a sixth sense, if you will. I listened to your message when I got to your mother’s house, but of course I couldn’t be sure where you’d called from. It was very useful to have your number, but you could have been in Antarctica for all I knew, and the game wouldn’t work unless you were close by.
不过，当然，我没法确定，这只是一种直觉。我通常能从我所狩猎的猎物身上得到感觉，这是一种第六感，如果你愿意这样称呼的话。能拿到你的门牌号对我来说很有用，但就我所知，你也可能在南极洲。如果你不在附近的话，这个游戏就没有意义了。
I didn’t answer. The bravado was wearing off. I sensed that he was coming to the end of his gloat. It wasn’t meant for me anyway. There was no glory in beating me, a weak human.
我没有回答。那种虚张声势的作用正在逐渐消失。我感觉到，他即将结束他贪婪的注视。无论如何，那不是冲着我来的。击败我，这个脆弱的人类，不能给他任何荣耀。
He stepped toward me, smiling. “Before we begin…”
他向我走过来，微笑着。“在我们开始以前…”
“Would you mind, very much, if I left a little letter of my own for your Edward?”
“你是否会，很介意，如果我用自己的方式留一封短信给你的爱德华？”
“I’m sorry, but I just don’t think he’ll be able to resist hunting me after he watches this. And I wouldn’t want him to miss anything. It was all for him, of course. You’re simply a human, who unfortunately was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add.”
“我很抱歉，但我不认为在他看过这些以后，还能抵御住猎杀我的愿望。而且我也不想让他错过任何细节。当然，这一切都是为了他。你不过是个人类，一个很不幸出现在错误的时间，错误的地点的人类。而且无可辩驳地，和一群错误的人待在了一起，我得加上这一句。”
“Very easy, you know, not really up to my standards. So, you see, I’m hoping you’re wrong about your boyfriend. Edward, isn’t it?”
你知道，这一切来得太容易了，完全没有达到我的标准。所以，你看，我很希望你对你男朋友的判断是错误的。他叫爱德华，对吧？
I felt a curl of nausea in the pit of my stomach as he spoke. This was something I had not anticipated.
当他说话的时候，我感觉到胃里一阵恶心。这是我完全没有预料到的情况。
He took a step back and touched a palm-sized digital video camera balanced carefully on top of the stereo. A small red light indicated that it was already running. He adjusted it a few times, widened the frame. I stared at him in horror.
他后退一步，拿起一部原本被小心地放在立体声音响上的巴掌大小的数码摄像机。一点小小的红光显示着它一直开着。他调整了几下，把镜框调大。我震惊地看着他。
“I would just like to rub it in, just a little bit. The answer was there all along, and I was so afraid Edward would see that and ruin my fun. It happened once, oh, ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me.
“我只是想要踩到他痛处，只要一点点。自始至终答案都是这个，我真担心爱德华看出这一点，然后毁掉我的乐趣。这以前发生过一次，哦，是很多年以前。有一次，也是唯一的一次，我的猎物从我面前逃开了。”
“You see, the vampire who was so stupidly fond of this little victim made the choice that your Edward was too weak to make. When the old one knew I was after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked I never will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form with you humans and as soon as he freed her he made her safe. She didn’t even seem to notice the pain, poor little creature. She’d been stuck in that black hole of a cell for so long. A hundred years earlier and she would have been burned at the stake for her visions. In the nineteen-twenties it was the asylum and the shock treatments. When she opened her eyes, strong with her fresh youth, it was like she’d never seen the sun before. The old vampire made her a strong new vampire, and there was no reason for me to touch her then.” He sighed. “I destroyed the old one in vengeance.”
“你看，那个愚蠢地喜欢着那个弱小的受害者的吸血鬼做出了你的爱德华因为太软弱而没法做出的选择。当那个老家伙知道我正追捕着他的小朋友时，他把她从他工作的那家收容所里偷了出来我从来都弄不明白这一点，有些吸血鬼似乎就是痴迷于和你们人类为伍他一把她放出来，立刻就让她安全了。她甚至没有注意到那种痛苦，可怜的小家伙。她被关在那间黑窟窿般的单人牢房里关太久了。如果是更早的一百年以前她一定会因为她的预知能力而被放到柴堆上烧死。但在十九世纪二十年代仅仅是收容所和休克疗法。当她睁开眼睛，因为自己的新生而格外强壮时，她看上去似乎此前从没见过太阳。那个老吸血鬼把她变成了一个强壮的新生吸血鬼，然后我再也没有理由靠近她了。”他叹了口气。“作为报复，我干掉了那个老家伙。”
“Yes, your little friend. I was surprised to see her in the clearing. So I guess her coven ought to be able to derive some comfort from this experience. I get you, but they get her. The one victim who escaped me, quite an honor, actually.
“是的，你的那位小朋友。当我在空地上看到她时，我很是惊讶。所以我猜她的巫会应当能从这个经历中得到一些安慰。我得到了你，但他们得到了她。唯一一个从我身边逃脱的受害者，确实是个纪念品，真的。”
“And she did smell so delicious. I still regret that I never got to taste… She smelled even better than you do. Sorry I don’t mean to be offensive. You have a very nice smell. Floral, somehow…”
“她闻起来确实很美味。我依然感到后悔，我没来得及尝一口…她闻起来甚至比你还好。对不起我不是有意要冒犯你的。你闻起来确实不错。花香的味道，不知怎的…”
He took another step toward me, till he was just inches away. He lifted a lock of my hair and sniffed at it delicately. Then he gently patted the strand back into place, and I felt his cool fingertips against my throat. He reached up to stroke my cheek once quickly with his thumb, his face curious. I wanted so badly to run, but I was frozen. I couldn’t even flinch away.
他向我走了一步，但仍保持着几英寸的距离。他拿起我的一缕头发，优雅地轻嗅着。然后，他温柔地把那缕头发放回原处，我感觉到他冰冷的指尖触到了我的喉咙。他用一根拇指飞快地轻拍了一下我的脸颊，脸上写满了好奇。我迫切地想要逃开，但我僵住了。我甚至没法退缩。
“Alice,” I breathed, astonished.
“爱丽丝。”我震惊地压低声音说道。
“No,” he murmured to himself as he dropped his hand, “I don’t understand.” He sighed. “Well, I suppose we should get on with it. And then I can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and my little message.”
“不，”他放下手，低声地自言自语道。“我不明白。”他叹了口气。“好吧，我猜我们还是把剩下的事情做完吧。然后我就能打电话给你的朋友们，告诉他们在哪里能找到你，还有我小小的留言。”
I was definitely sick now. There was pain coming, I could see it in his eyes. It wouldn’t be enough for him to win, to feed and go. There would be no quick end like I’d been counting on. My knees began to shake, and I was afraid I was going to fall.
现在我真的恶心起来了。我的痛苦源于我在他眼中所看到的一切。对他来说，仅仅是赢得游戏，吃饱喝足然后离开是远远不够的。事情不会像我指望的那样迅速地结束。我的膝盖开始颤抖，我害怕自己就要倒下去了。
Then he slumped forward, into a crouch I recognized, and his pleasant smile slowly widened, grew, till it wasn’t a smile at all but a contortion of teeth, exposed and glistening. I couldn’t help myself I tried to run. As useless as I knew it would be, as weak as my knees already were, panic took over and I bolted for the emergency door.
然后他猛然俯下身去，变成我能认得出的那种蜷伏的姿势，他愉快的微笑越笑越开，慢慢张大着嘴，最终那不再是一个微笑，而是歪曲着嘴唇露出牙齿的姿势，他的牙齿全部露了出来，闪耀着光。
He stepped back, and began to circle, casually, as if he were trying to get a better view of a statue in a museum. His face was still open and friendly as he decided where to start.
他退回去，开始警惕地围着我绕圈，就好像他是在试图给博物馆的一尊雕像取一个更好的镜头一样。当他决定开始的地点的时候，他的脸依然坦率又友好。
He was in front of me in a flash. I didn’t see if he used his hand or his foot, it was too fast. A crushing blow struck my chest I felt myself flying backward, and then heard the crunch as my head bashed into the mirrors. The glass buckled, some of the pieces shattering and splintering on the floor beside me.
我没法控制住自己我想要逃跑。尽管我知道这根本没用，我的膝盖依然虚软着，恐惧还是控制了一切，我向紧急出口冲去。只一瞬间，他就冲到了我面前。我甚至没看出他袭来的是手还是脚，这一切发生得太快了。一记粉碎性的重击砸到了我的胸口我感觉到自己向后飞去，然后听到了我的头砸到镜子上的撞击声。玻璃被撞得变了形，几片碎片掉落下来，散落在我身后的地板上。
I ignored him, scrambling on my hands and knees, crawling toward the other door.
我不去理会他，手脚并用地向另一扇门跑去。
I was too stunned to feel the pain. I couldn’t breathe yet.
我被吓得甚至感受不到疼痛。我甚至没法呼吸。
He walked toward me slowly.
他慢慢地向我走来。
“Would you like to rethink your last request?” he asked pleasantly. His toe nudged my broken leg and I heard a piercing scream. With a shock, I realized it was mine.
“你想要重新考虑一下你最后的请求吗？”他愉快地问道。他的脚趾推了推我骨折了的腿，我听到了一阵刺骨的尖叫。我震惊地意识到，那声尖叫是我自己发出的。
He was over me at once, his foot stepping down hard on my leg. I heard the sickening snap before I felt it. But then I did feel it, and I couldn’t hold back my scream of agony. I twisted up to reach for my leg, and he was standing over me, smiling.
他马上超越了我。他的脚重重地踩在了我的大腿上。在我感觉到以前，我听到了那恶心的断裂声了。然后，我确实感觉到了，我甚至没法咽回自己极其痛苦的尖叫。我回过身去够自己的腿，他站在我身上，微笑着。
“That’s a very nice effect,” he said, examining the mess of glass, his voice friendly again. “I thought this room would be visually dramatic for my little film. That’s why I picked this place to meet you. It’s perfect, isn’t it?”
“效果很好。”他说着，审视着支离破碎的玻璃，声音又友好起来。“我觉得这房间对我的小短片来说很有戏剧性的视觉效果。这就是为什么我选择在这里见你。这里棒极了，不是吗？”
“Wouldn’t you rather have Edward try to find me?” he prompted.
“你真的不愿意让爱德华试图来找我吗？”他催促着。
“No!” I croaked. “No, Edward, don’t” And then something smashed into my face, throwing me back into the broken mirrors.
“不，”我用嘶哑的声音大喊着。“不，爱德华，不要”然后某个东西撞上我的脸，把我击回那面破碎的镜子上。
Over the pain of my leg, I felt the sharp rip across my scalp where the glass cut into it. And then the warm wetness began to spread through my hair with alarming speed. I could feel it soaking the shoulder of my shirt, hear it dripping on the wood below. The smell of it twisted my stomach.
除了腿上的疼痛之外，我还感觉到了玻璃扎进我的头皮的尖锐的刺痛。然后一种温暖的液体以惊人的速度从我的头发里流下来。我感觉到它浸湿了我肩上的恤衫，我听到它滴落在木地板上的声音。它的味道让我的胃痉挛起来。
Through the nausea and dizziness I saw something that gave me a sudden, final shred of hope. His eyes, merely intent before, now burned with an uncontrollable need. The blood spreading crimson across my white shirt, pooling rapidly on the floor was driving him mad with thirst. No matter his original intentions, he couldn’t draw this out much longer.
在头昏目眩和恶心反胃之中，我看到了某件事情，这突然给了我最后一丝希望。他原本十分专注的眼神里，现在燃起了一种失控的渴望。那些血染红了我雪白的恤衫，飞快地汇聚在地板上，让他因为口渴而疯狂起来。不管他最初的目的是什么，他再也没法做到了。
Let it be quick now, was all I could hope as the flow of blood from my head sucked my consciousness away with it. My eyes were closing.
让一切快点结束，是我现在全部的愿望。从我的头上流下的鲜血带走了我的意识。我渐渐闭上了眼睛。
I heard, as if from underwater, the final growl of the hunter. I could see, through the long tunnels my eyes had become, his dark shape coming toward me. With my last effort, my hand instinctively raised to protect my face. My eyes closed, and I drifted.
仿佛置身在水底，我听到了猎食者的最后一声咆哮。我的视野变成了长长的隧道，我能看到，在隧道的另一端，他黑色的身影正向我扑过来。我用尽最后一点力气，本能地举起手护住自己的脸。我闭上了眼睛，感觉自己像在漂浮着。
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