I’d never been embarrassed by where we lived before. I’d never looked at our house, or even our side of the street, and said, Oh! I wish we lived in the new development — those houses are so much newer, so much better! This is where I’d grown up. This was my home.
我以前从没为我们住的地方感到尴尬过。我从没仔细看看我们的房子，或者是我们的街边，但是，哦！我希望我们能住在新的开发地——那里的房子更新，更好！我是在这里长大的，这里是我的家。
Besides the yard, I also never really wondered about the money, or the apparent lack thereof.
除了院子，我还想到了关于钱的问题，还有很显而易见的缺乏。
I was aware of the yard, sure. My mother had grumbled about it for years. But it was a low grumbling, not worthy of deep concern. Or so I’d supposed. But maybe I should have wondered. Why let the outside go and keep the inside so nice? It was spotless inside our house. Except for the boys’ room, that is. Mom gave up on that after she discovered the snake. If they were old enough to adopt a snake, she told my brothers, they were old enough to clean their own room. Matt and Mike translated this to keep the door closed, and became quite diligent about doing just that.
我也意识到了院子的问题，当然。我妈妈因此抱怨了好几年。但是只是简单的抱怨，和更深的焦虑不同，我猜想。但也许我应该仔细想想。为什么不管外面却把里面保持得很好？我们家里面一点灰尘都没有，除了男孩们的房间。我妈妈在发现了蛇之后就放弃了。如果他们已经足够大去养一条蛇，妈妈告诉他们，他们也足够大去打扫自己的房间。马特和迈克把这解释为保持门关闭，而他们对此非常勤奋。
I knew we weren’t rich, but I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. Anything you could buy, anyway.
我知道我们并不富有，但我也没感觉缺少了什么，任何你能买的东西我都没缺。
It wasn’t just the yard. It was my dad’s truck, my mother’s car, the family bike that was more rust than steel, and the fact that when we did buy something new, it always seemed to come from a second-time-around store. Plus, we never went on vacation. Ever.
这并不仅仅是院子。还有我爸爸的卡车，我妈妈的车，家里的自行车已经比钢铁锈得还厉害，而事实上我们就算买了一个新的，它也是从二手货商店来的。再加上，我们从不去旅游，从来没有。
Matt and Mike did ask for things a lot, but even though my mother would tell them, No, boys, we just can’t afford that, I took this to mean, No, boys, you don’t deserve that, or, No, boys, you don’t really need that. It wasn’t until Bryce called our home a complete dive that I started really seeing things.
马特和迈克确实有很多要求，尽管我妈妈会告诉他们，不，男孩们，我们付不起那个，我把这个当成，不，男孩们，那不是你们应得的，或者，不，男孩们，你们并不需要那些。自从布莱斯把我们家说成一团糟，我才开始真正看到问题。
Why was that? My father was the hardest-working man in the world, and my mother worked for TempService doing secretarial jobs whenever she could. What was all that hard work about if this is where it got you?
这是为什么呢？我爸爸是世界上最努力工作的人，我妈妈只要一有时间就会去当临时雇员。跟我们现在的状况相比那些努力都算什么呢？
Asking my parents whether we were poor seemed incredibly impolite. But as the days went by, I knew I had to ask. Just had to. Every day I’d ride home from school on our rusty bike, pull past the broken fence and patchy yard, and think, Tonight. I’ll ask them tonight.
问我父母我们是否贫穷似乎太不礼貌了。但是经过一天又一天，我知道自己必须问。只是必须的。每天我都会骑着我们生锈的自行车从学校回家，经过破损的栅栏和不完整的院子，然后想，今晚，今晚我会问他们。
I couldn’t believe my ears. “What?”
我不敢相信我的耳朵，“什么？”
Then one day I had an idea. A way to talk to them about it and maybe help out a little, too.
然后有一天我有了主意。和他们聊聊可能会有所帮助。
But then I wouldn’t ask them. I just didn’t know how.
但是我还是不能问。我只是不知道怎么问。
“It’s… it’s not?”
“它…不是吗？”
“I know how to use a saw and a hammer — it could be, you know, a project.” My mother quit looking at me and stared at my father, instead.
“我知道怎么使用锤子和锯子——它可以是一个规划。”我妈妈不在看着我，却开始瞪着爸爸。
He shook his head and said, “It’s Mr. Finnegan’s.”
他摇了摇头说，“是芬尼根先生的。”
“Who’s Mr. Finnegan?”
“谁是芬尼根先生？”
My father cleared his throat and said, “The landlord.”
我爸爸清了清喉咙说道：“就是房东。”
“The man who owns this house.”
“这所房子的主人。”
My father sighed and said, “The yard is not our responsibility, Julianna.”
爸爸叹了口气然后说，“那个院子不是我们的责任，朱莉安娜。”
And since my brothers were working at the music store that night, and nobody was saying much of anything at the table, I took a deep breath and said, “I was thinking, you know, that it wouldn’t be hard to fix up the front yard if I could get some nails and a hammer and maybe some paint? And how much does grass seed cost? It can’t be that much, right? I could plant a lawn, and maybe even some flowers?” My parents stopped eating and stared at me.
而那天晚上我的哥哥们正好在音像店工作，所以几乎没有人在吃饭的时候说话，我深吸了口气说，“我在想，如果我能找到一些钉子，一个榔头和一些油漆的话，修理前院应该不难吧？而且草种能花多少钱？应该不会很多，对吗？我可以种一块草地，甚至可以有些花？”我父母停止了吃饭，盯着我。
“But what about the yard? Why keep up the inside but not the outside?”
“但是院子怎么办？为什么清理里面却不管外面？”
They looked at each other, having some private wordless conversation I couldn’t decipher.
他们看着对方，做了些我无法破译的无声的私人谈话。
“You mean we don’t own this house?”
“你的意思是我们不是这个房子的主人？”
“But…”
“但是…”
Finally my father said, “I didn’t realize you didn’t know that.”
最后我爸爸说，“我没发现你不知道这些。”
Obviously that never happened.” He shook his head. “It’s a major undertaking, and fencing is not cheap. I can’t see putting that sort of investment into a property that’s not ours. Plus, it’s the principle of the thing.”
很明显这都没实现。”他摇了摇头，“这是个重大的工程，而栅栏并不便宜。我并不想把那么大的投资放进一所不属于我们的房产。再加上，这关系到租房的准则。
“But if –“
“但是如果——”
“Because,” he sighed, “it’s easier than asking him for help.”
“因为，”他叹气，“这比请求他的帮助更容易。”
My mother reached over and took my hand. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry if this is a shock. I guess we always thought you knew.”
妈妈抓住了我的手：“亲爱的，如果这吓到了你我很抱歉。我猜我们一直认为你知道。”
“And,” my father interrupted me, “it keeps him from raising the rent.”
“而且，”我爸爸打断我，“这阻止了他提起租金。”
“But… but that doesn’t make sense! Aren’t landlords supposed to come and do things? Like fix the roof when it leaks and clear the drains when they’re plugged? You always do that stuff, Dad. Why do you do it when he’s supposed to?”
“但是…但这没有道理啊！一个房东不是应该过来做些事吗？像在漏雨的时候修好房顶，在排水管堵住的时候清理？你总是做那些，爸爸。如果他应该做的话你为什么要做呢？”
My father frowned and said, “When we signed the lease, he assured us he would fix the fences, front and back, and plant sod in the front yard.
我爸爸皱了眉说道：“我们在租约上签字的时候，他说他会修理好栅栏，前面和后面，并在前院种草。
“Sweetheart,” he whispered, “tell me.”
“亲爱的，”他低语道，“告诉我。”
My father studied me. “Julianna, what happened?”
爸爸用探究的眼光看着我，“朱莉安娜，发生什么了？”
I knew what he’d say if I told him, and yet I couldn’t not tell him. Not with the way he was looking at me. So I took a deep breath and said, “The Loskis have been throwing my eggs away because they were afraid they’d have salmonella because our yard is such a mess.”
我知道如果我告诉他他会说什么，而现在我不能不告诉他。以他那样看着我的方式。所以我深吸了口气然后说：“洛世奇一家一直扔掉我的鸡蛋因为他们害怕沙门氏菌，因为我们的院子一团糟。”
“But we live here,” I whispered, “and it looks so bad.”
“但是我们住在这儿，”我低声说道，“而且它看起来糟透了。”
I looked down. “No, Bryce did.”
我看向下面：“没有，是布莱斯。”
“Nothing, Daddy,” I said, but he knew I was lying.
“没什么，爸爸。”我说，但是他知道我在说谎。
My father said, “Oh, that’s ridiculous,” but my mother gasped, “What?” Then she cried, “Did Patsy say that?”
我爸爸说，“哦，这太荒谬了。”但是我妈妈喘息道，“什么？”然后她喊道，“是帕特斯说得吗？”
“Trina, you know I’m doing the best I can. I’m sorry about the yard, I’m sorry about the situation. This isn’t the picture I had for my life, either, but sometimes you have to sacrifice for what’s right.”
“崔娜，你知道我尽力了。我为院子感到难过，我也为这情况感到抱歉。这也不是我期望的生活，但是有时候你要为做正确的事情做出牺牲。”
“But it must’ve been a family discussion! A boy doesn’t come up with that on his own…!” My mother looked for all the world like a doe waiting to be shot through the heart. She covered her face with her hands and said, “I can’t go on like this! Robert, things have got to change. They’ve just got to!”
“但这肯定是家庭讨论的结果！一个男孩不会说出那样的话…！”我妈妈的表情就像是一直雏鹿在等待子弹穿过心脏。她用手捂住了脸然后说，“我不能再这样了！罗伯特，这些需要改变。它们必须改变。”
My mother looked up from her hands and said, “This is not right for our family. Your daughter is suffering because we won’t fix up our own yard.”
我妈妈抬起头来看着他说道，“这对我们家没有好处。你的女儿在忍受这些因为我们不能修理院子。”
“It’s not our yard.”
“这不是我们的院子。”
My father let out a deep sigh and whispered, “We’ve discussed this so many times, Trina. In the end you always agree that keeping him at Greenhaven is the right thing to do.”
我爸爸深吸了口气然后低语道：“我们讨论过很多次了，崔娜。到最后你总是同意让他继续呆在绿色天堂是正确的决定。”
Then in the back of my mind, it clicked. Everything clicked. It was my dad’s brother they were talking about. My uncle. David.
然后在我的脑海深处，突然清晰了。所有的事都清晰了。他们在谈论的是我爸爸的弟弟。我的叔叔，大卫。
“How can you say that? Robert, wake up! We have lived here for twelve years. It’s not temporary anymore! If we ever want to have a decent place with our own yard, if we’re going to help the kids through college or do any of the other things we’ve promised each other, we’re going to have to move him into government care.”
“你怎么能这样自欺欺人？罗伯特，醒醒吧！我们在这儿住了十二年了。这不是短时间了！如果我们想要一个体面的地方和自己的院子，如果我们要把孩子们送进大学或者做我们保证对方要做的事，我们就要把他送进公共机构照顾。”
I wanted to say, Wait! What are you talking about? Who are you talking about? But the conversation was flying so fast and furious that I couldn’t seem to break in, and it wasn’t long before they were bickering so badly that it was almost like I wasn’t there.
我想说，等等！你们在说什么？你们在说谁？但是谈话进行地更加快速和激烈，我似乎无法插入，没过多久他们就开始激烈地争吵，而忽视了我的存在。
So we didn’t talk about it. Not at home, not with friends. It was almost like there was no Uncle David.
所以我们什么也没说。不在家说，也不和朋友说。这几乎像是没有大卫叔叔这个人。
To me Uncle David was only a name. Someone my parents had explained to me, but not someone I’d ever actually met. And even though I knew my dad visited him, I never knew exactly when. He never talked about it.
大卫叔叔对我来说只是个名字。一个我父母解释过的人，但也是我从没见过的人。而且就算我知道爸爸会去探望他，我从不知道具体时间。他从没讲过。
Until now. Now he felt larger than life, and I could tell from their argument that he was the reason we didn’t have our own house; he was the reason we didn’t have nice cars or fancy things. He was the reason there always seemed to be a cloud of weariness hanging over my parents.
直到现在，他才变得真实起来，而且我可以从他们的争吵中知道他就是我们没有自己的房子的原因；他是我们没有好车和漂亮的东西的原因。他让我的父母似乎总是被烦恼包围。
You love each other! You do! But I just sat there with tears streaming down my face.
你们爱对方！但是我只是坐在那儿让眼泪爬上了脸颊。
Dad also thought we shouldn’t talk about Uncle David to others because David was retarded. “People jump to conclusions,” he’d told me. “They assume that, by association, something must also be wrong with you. Trust me, I know.”
爸爸还认为我们不应该和别人提起大卫叔叔，因为大卫是智障。“人们会很快地断定，”他告诉我，“他们确信，因为遗传，你身上肯定也有什么问题。相信我，我知道。”
Why did I have to bring up the yard in the first place? I’d never seen my parents fight like this. Ever. I wanted to grab them and say, Stop it! Stop it!
我为什么在一开始要提到院子呢？我从没见过我父母这样争吵。从来没有。我想要抓住他们然后说，停下来！停下来！
“I’m sorry, Julianna,” my dad said, then reached over and held my forearm. “Don’t cry. None of this is your fault. We’ll work it out, I promise we will.”
“我很抱歉，朱莉安娜，”我爸爸说，然后伸过手来拉住了我的前臂，“别哭了。这些都不是你的错。我们会有办法的，我保证。”
I felt sorry for my father. I felt sorry for my mother. But most of all I felt lucky for me that they were mine.
我为爸爸感到难过。我为妈妈感到难过。但是我更为我有这样的父母而感到幸运。
My mother stopped suddenly and whispered, “We should not be doing this in front of her!”
我妈妈突然停下来然后低语道：“我们不该在她面前这样做！”
That night my parents came into my room and talked to me, one at a time. My father talked about his brother and how much he loved him and how he’d promised his parents he’d always take care of him. My mother talked about how much she loved my father for his strength and kind heart, about dreams and reality, and the need to count your blessings. And she made me cry all over again when she kissed me goodnight and whispered that of all her many blessings, I was her best and brightest.
那天晚上我父母都单独到我的房间来和我谈话。我爸爸跟我讲他的弟弟，他们的手足之情，还有他怎样向我的祖父母保证他会照顾好弟弟。我妈妈讲她对爸爸的爱，爱他的坚强和善良的心，关于梦想和现实，还有应该为得到的而感激。当她吻我晚安时，她低声说了她的很多恩赐，我是她最棒的和最闪亮的，这让我又大哭了一场。
My mother tried to laugh through her tears, saying, “We always have, and we always will.”
妈妈试着破涕而笑，说道：“我们以前会有，将来也会有。”
And in the morning, as I rode my rusty bike out the driveway to school, I promised myself that when I got home, I’d tackle the yard. Rented or not, this was our home, and I was going to help make living here better.
而到了早晨，当我骑着生锈的车去学校时，我对自己承诺当我回到家，我会解决院子的问题。不管是不是租来的，这是我们家，而我要为住在这儿更好做出贡献。
As it turns out, this was easier thought than done. First it took me half an hour of rummaging through the garage to find a hammer and a box of nails, a saw, and some pruners. Then it took another half hour of standing around to figure out just where to start. The actual yard was just clumps of weeds, but what about the bordering shrubs? Should I dig them up, or prune them way back? Were they shrubs, or just overgrown weeds? And what about the fence? Should I knock it down, or rebuild it? Maybe I should take out the front end entirely and use the wood to fix up the sides.
事实证明，想比做要容易多了。我先在地下室里翻了半个小时找到一把榔头和一盒钉子，一把锯子，还有一些修枝剪刀。然后又用了半个小时站在那儿弄清楚从哪儿开始。真正的院子只有一丛丛杂草，那边上的灌木怎么办呢？我应该都拔起来，还是把它们都修剪一遍？如果都拔起来，会不会杂草遍地丛生呢？还有栅栏怎么办？我应该把它们都敲下来，还是再造一个？也许我应该把前面和后面的都拔出来，再用那些木头去修理侧面的。
The longer I looked around, the more I felt like forgetting the whole thing. Why bother? It wasn’t our property. Mr. Finnegan should be the one making repairs.
我越看越感觉自己应该忘记这一切。为什么要找麻烦呢？这又不是我们的房产。芬尼根先生才应该修理这些。
Half an hour later I was keeper of the knowledge that one bush equals many branches, and that the volume of a bush increases exponentially as it’s cut and tossed into the middle of a yard. It was ridiculous! Where was I going to put all this stuff?
半个小时后我才发现一丛灌木等于许多树枝，而堆到院子中间的修剪下的灌木正成倍地增加。这太荒谬了！我要把这些东西都放到哪儿呢？
But then I remembered my mother’s words from the night before. Surely, I thought, a few bushes and some dilapidated wood couldn’t stop someone’s best and brightest blessing! Surely not! And with that, I picked up the clippers and got to work.
但是我接着想起来前一天晚上妈妈说的话。当然，我想，一些杂草和一些毁坏的木头无法阻止一个人最棒的和最闪亮的恩赐！当然不能！这样想着，我拿起了剪刀开始工作。
By the end of that first day, what I’d made was a big mess. But if chaos is a necessary step in the organization of one’s universe, then I was well on my way. At least that’s what I tried to tell myself when I flopped into bed that night, dead tired.
在第一天结束的时候，我只弄得一团糟。但如果混乱是到达组织性的必须步伐，那我做得还挺不错。至少那是我那晚筋疲力尽地躺在床上，试着告诉自己的话。
“You didn’t get that stubborn streak from me,” she said, but came back outside with a glass of juice and a kiss for my cheek. Good enough for me!
“你身上顽固的特征可不是从我这儿来的。”她说，但是又带着一杯果汁和面颊上的吻回到了外面。对我来说足够好了。
The man standing on our sidewalk was Bryce’s grandfather, I knew that much. But I’d only ever seen him outside one time. All the other times I’d seen him had been through windows — either one in their sitting room or one in their car. To me he was just a dark-haired man behind glass. Having him appear on my sidewalk was like having someone from TV step through the screen and talk to you.
站在我们人行道上的男人是布莱斯的外公，我知道。但是我只有一次在外面见过他。其他的时间我都是透过窗户看他——有时是他们家前厅的，有时是他们的车窗。他对我来说只是个有着深色头发在玻璃后面的男人。看到他出现在我们的人行道就像是看到电视里的人踏出屏幕与你交谈。
Mom came home and tried to talk me out of my mission, but I’d have none of it. Oh, no-no-no!
妈妈回到家试图让我停下这项任务，但是我一点儿都不这么想。哦，不不不！
And the next afternoon I was busily expanding the chaos of my little universe when I heard a deep voice say, “That’s quite an undertaking, young lady.”
而第二天下午正当我忙着扩大我小宇宙中的混乱时，我听到一个低沉的声音说：“那是项大工程啊，小姑娘。”
I’d already pruned two bushes down to a respectable size, and before long she’d see — the place was going to look just dandy.
我已经把两丛灌木剪到了很整洁的大小，没过多久她就会看到——这地方会变得非常好。
“I know we’ve seen each other from time to time,” he was saying. “I’m sorry it’s taken me over a year to come introduce myself. I’m Chester Duncan, Bryce’s grandfather. And you, of course, are Julianna Baker.”
“我知道我们见过几次面，”他说，“我很抱歉我用了一年才过来介绍自己。我是切斯特·邓肯，布莱斯的外公。而你，毫无疑问，是朱莉安娜·贝克。”
He stuck out his hand, so I took off my work glove and watched my hand completely disappear inside his as we shook. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Duncan,” I said, thinking that this man was way bigger than he looked from the sitting-room window.
他伸出一只手，所以我摘下了手套，看着我的手完全消失在了他的手中。“很高兴认识你，邓肯先生。”我说，心想这个男人看起来比从前厅的窗户里看来大得多。
Then the strangest thing happened. He pulled his own work gloves and a pair of clippers from a back pocket and said, “Are you pruning all of these to the same height?”
然后最奇怪的事发生了。他从后面的口袋里拿出自己的工作手套还有一副剪刀，然后说：“你在把这些都修建到同样的高度吗？”
“Oh,” I said. “Well, yes. That is what I was thinking. Although now I don’t know. Do you think it would look better to just take them out?”
“哦，”我说，“嗯，是的。我是这么想的。虽然现在我也不知道。你认为把他们拔出来会更好些吗？”
He shook his head and said, “They’re Australian tea shrubs. They’ll prune up nicely.” And with that, he put on his gloves and started clipping.
他摇了摇头说道：“它们是澳大利亚茶灌木。修建一下会很好。”说完，他戴上手套开始修剪。
At first I didn’t know what to say to this man. It was very strange to be getting his help, but from the way he was acting, it was as though I shouldn’t have thought a thing of it. Clip-clip-clip, he went, like this was something he really enjoyed doing.
一开始我不知道对这个男人说什么好。得到他的帮助非常奇怪，但是从他的行动来看，我似乎不应该这么想。咔——咔——咔，他继续，好像这是他非常喜欢做的事。
He laughed and said, “Oh, I have no doubt about that,” then got back to clipping. “You see, Julianna, I read about you in the paper, and I’ve lived across the street from you for over a year now. It’s easy to see that you’re a very competent person.”
他笑着说，“哦，我对此并不怀疑，”然后他继续修剪，“你知道，朱莉安娜，我在报纸上读到过你，而我住在你街对面将近一年了。很容易就能看出你是个能干的人。”
Then I remembered what Bryce had said about our yard, and suddenly I knew why he was there.
然后我回想起了布莱斯说的，突然间我知道了他为什么会在这里。
“N-no.”
“没——有。”
“What’s the matter?” he asked, throwing his clippings into my pile. “Did I cut it down too far?”
“怎么了？”他问，把他剪下的东西扔进我的一堆，“我剪得太快了吗？”
“Well, I don’t. I can do this by myself.”
“嗯，我不想。我可以自己做的。”
“Then why the look?” he asked. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought you might like a little help.”
“那为什么这么看着？”他问，“我并不想要你感觉不舒服。我只是认为你会需要一点帮助。”
We both worked quietly for a minute, but I found myself throwing the clippings into the pile harder and harder. And before long I couldn’t stand it. I just couldn’t stand it! I spun on him and said, “You’re here because you feel bad about the eggs, aren’t you? Well, our eggs are perfectly fine! We’ve been eating them for nearly three years and none of us have gotten poisoned. Mrs. Stueby and Mrs. Helms seem in good health to me, too, and the fact of the matter is, if you didn’t want them, you should’ve just told me so!”
我们都安静地工作了一会儿，但是我发现自己更加用力地把树枝扔进一堆里。没多久我就没法忍受了。我不能忍受！我转向他说道：“你是因为鸡蛋的事才在这儿的吧，对吗？好吧，我们的鸡蛋没有任何问题！我们吃了快三年，而我们都没有被毒死。史努比太太和哈姆斯太太也看起来非常健康，而且事情的关键是，如果你不想要他们，就应该直接告诉我！”
His hands fell to his sides and he shook his head as he said, “Eggs? Poisoned? Julianna, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
他放下了手，一边说一边摇头：“鸡蛋？毒死？朱莉安娜，我一点儿都不知道你在说什么。”
Inside I was so angry and hurt and embarrassed that I didn’t even feel like me. “I’m talking about the eggs that I’ve been bringing over to your house for more than two years — eggs that my chickens laid that I could’ve sold! Eggs that your family has been throwing away!” I was shouting at him. Shouting at an adult, like I’d never shouted at anyone in my entire life.
我的内心格外疼痛和尴尬，甚至让我觉得这不是我。“我说的是我送给你们家两年多的鸡蛋——我的鸡下的我能卖钱的蛋！你们家一直扔掉的蛋！”我对着他喊道。对一个大人喊叫，好像我这一生中都没对任何人喊叫过。
His voice got very quiet. “I’m sorry. I don’t know about any eggs. Who did you give them to?”
他的声音变得异常安静：“我很抱歉。我不知道任何关于蛋的事。你把它们给谁了？”
“Bryce!” My throat choked closed as I said his name again. “Bryce.”
“布莱斯！”我的声音在我再次说他名字的时候窒息了，“布莱斯。”
Mr. Duncan nodded slowly and said, “Well,” then went back to pruning his bush. “That probably explains it.”
邓肯先生慢慢地点头说道：“嗯，”然后继续去修剪他的树枝，“这可能是个解释了。”
He sighed. “The boy still has a ways to go.”
他叹气道：“那个男孩还没开窍呢。”
“What do you mean?”
“你是什么意思？”
“Oh, he’s a very handsome boy, there’s no denying that,” he said with a frown. Then he snapped a branch and added, “The spitting image of his father.”
“哦，他是个很英俊的男孩，这无法否认，”他皱了皱眉。然后猛地剪断一根树枝，又加上：“他就是他父亲的翻版。“
I just stared at him, not trusting myself with the words sizzling on my tongue.
我只是瞪着他，不敢相信我即将说出口的话。
“That’s right.” He gave me a little smile and said, “Renée would’ve sat up in that tree with you. She would’ve sat there all night.”
“没错。”他给了我一个小小的微笑然后说，“芮妮会和你一起坐在那棵树上。她一定会的。”
I just looked at him, straight in the eye.
我只是看着他，直直地盯着他的眼睛。
“Your wife?”
“你的妻子？”
He nodded, then said, “Because you remind me of my wife.”
他点头，然后说：“因为你让我想起了我妻子。”
The last thing in the world I expected was to become friends with Bryce’s grandfather. But by dinnertime I knew so much about him and his wife and the adventures they’d had together that it seemed like I’d known him for a very long time. Plus, all his stories made the work seem easy. When I went in for the night, the bushes were all pruned back, and except for the enormous heap in the center of the yard, things were already looking a whole lot better.
这世界上我最不能想象的是就是和布莱斯的外公成为朋友。但是到了晚饭的时候我已经知道了很多有关他和他妻子还有他们一切的冒险经历，让我觉得自己似乎认识了他很久。还有，他这些故事让工作似乎变得容易起来。那天晚上我进去的时候，所有的灌木都修剪好了，除了院子中间巨型的树枝堆，其他的看起来都好了很多。
“Absolutely.”
“绝对的。”
“Honestly?”
“说真话吗？”
I shook my head. “Why are you over here, Mr. Duncan? If you don’t think I need the help and you’re not feeling bad about the eggs, then why would you do this?”
我摇了摇头。“你为什么来这儿，邓肯先生？如果你并不认为我需要帮助，也不因为鸡蛋感到抱歉，你为什么要这么做？”
And with those two sentences, my anger vanished. “Really?”
随着那两句话，我的愤怒烟消云散了，“真的吗？”
He nodded. “And I miss her terribly.” He tossed a branch into the heap and chuckled. “There’s nothing like a head-strong woman to make you happy to be alive.”
他点头。“而且我非常想念她。”他把一根树枝丢进堆里然后轻笑道：“没有比任性的女人更能让人开心的了。”
“She’s… she died?”
“她…她去世了吗？”
I thought that was pretty interesting. And the next day during school I looked around at the people I’d known since elementary school, trying to figure out if they were more or less than the sum of their parts. Chet was right. A lot of them were less.
我认为这个观点挺有趣。第二天上学的时候我看着周围一群小学就认识的人，试着发现他们整个人大于，还是小于他们各个部分之和。切特说对了，大部分的人整体还不如部分和。
Chet taught me how to plumb a line for the pickets, how to hold a hammer down on the end of the handle instead of choking up on it, how to calculate an adjusted spacing for the pickets, and how to use a level to get the wood exactly vertical. We worked on the fence for days, and the whole time we worked we talked. It wasn’t just about his wife, either. He wanted to know about the sycamore tree and seemed to understand exactly what I meant when I told about the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. “It’s that way with people, too,” he said, “only with people it’s sometimes that the whole is less than the sum of the parts.”
切特教我怎么把尖桩敲成垂直的，怎么握住榔头把手的后部而不是抓在上面，怎么调整尖桩间的距离，还有怎么使用垂直线保证木头是垂直的。我们一整天都在建造栅栏，这整段时间我们都在谈天。话题不仅仅是关于他的妻子。他想知道梧桐树的故事，而且他似乎完全了解我说的整体大于部分和的意思。“这就和人一样，”他说，“只是对于某些人而言，有些时候‘整体反而不如部分之和’。”
The next day he was back. And when I smiled and said, “Hi, Mr. Duncan,” he smiled back and said, “Call me Chet, won’t you?” He looked at the hammer in my hand and said, “I take it we’re starting on the fence today?”
第二天他又来了。而当我微笑着说，“你好，邓肯先生，”他也回了一个微笑说道，“叫我切特，好吗？”他看着我手中的榔头，说道：“我们今天要开始修理栅栏吗？”
But of all my classmates, the one person I couldn’t seem to place was Bryce. Until recently I’d have said with absolute certainty that he was greater — far greater — than the sum of his parts. What he did to my heart was sheer, inexplicable magic.
但所有的同学中，只有布莱斯我不敢确定。不久之前我会很肯定地说他大于——大于很多——他的部分之和。他对我的心有无法解释的魔力。
But inexplicable was the operative word here. And as I looked across the room at him during math, I couldn’t help feeling crushed all over again about how he’d thrown out my eggs. What kind of person would do that?
但无法解释是这里最适合的词。而当我在数学课看着他是，我不知不觉又对他扔掉我的蛋而怒火中烧。什么样的人会做出这样的事啊？
Then he looked my way and smiled, and my heart lurched. But I was mad at myself for it. How could I still feel this way after what he’d done?
然后他看着我的方向微笑了，我的心又动摇了。但是我对自己很生气。在他做了这些事之后我怎么还能有这样的感受？
Top of the list, of course, was Shelly Stalls. To look at her, you’d think she had everything, but there’s not much solid underneath her Mount Everest hair. And even though she’s like a black hole at sucking people in, it doesn’t take them long to figure out that being friends with her requires fanning the flames of a wildfire ego.
名单的首位，当然就是雪莉·斯塔尔斯。看着她，你会认为她拥有了一切，但事实上在她珠穆朗玛峰似的头发下没有什么实质性的东西。而虽然她像个黑洞把人都吸进去，但是没多久人们就会发现和她成为朋友就像点火自焚。
I avoided him the rest of the day, but by the end of school there was a tornado inside me, tearing me up from one end to the other. I jumped on my bike and rode home faster than I ever had before. The right pedal clanked against the chain guard, and the whole bike rattled and squeaked, threatening to collapse into a pile of rusty parts.
剩下一天的时间我都避开了他，但放学时我的心里起了一阵龙卷风，把我撕扯得四分五裂。我跳上自行车用最快的速度骑回了家。右边的踏板叮当撞击着链条，整个自行车嘎吱作响，似乎要坍塌成一堆锈铁。
He hesitated but didn’t argue. Instead, he said, “I fell in love with her by mistake.”
他踌躇了一阵但没有反驳。他却说：“我爱上她是个意外。”
Chet appeared about ten minutes later. “My,” he laughed, “you’ve got an enviable amount of energy today, don’t you?”
切特在大约十分钟后出现了，“我天，”他笑道，“你今天有令人羡慕的精力啊，是吗？”
“Oh, that’s a tough one. Did you do poorly on a test?”
“哦，那就困难了。你考试考砸了吗？”
“Myself!”
“我自己。”
“No! I…” I turned to him and said, “How did you fall in love with your wife?”
“没有！我…”我转向他说道，“你怎么爱上你妻子的？”
The tornado, however, was still going strong when I skidded to a halt in our driveway. So I transferred pedal power into painting power. I pried open the gallon of Navajo White my dad had bought me and started slopping paint around.
龙卷风在我在车道停下来的时候还非常强烈。所以我把蹬车的力量转化为了刷漆的力量。我撬开了一加仑爸爸带给我的白色颜料，开始让颜料到处飞溅。
“No,” I said, brushing back some hair with the back of my hand, “I’m just mad.”
“没有，”我说，用手背把一些碎发拨到后面，“我只是很生气。”
He poured some Navajo White into his can and smiled. “Ah,” he said. “Boy problems.”
他把一些白漆倒进他的罐子然后微笑了，“哦，”他说，“男孩的问题。”
“I do not have boy problems!”
“我没有男生的问题！”
“By mistake? What do you mean?”
“意外？你是什么意思？”
He produced his own brush and an empty coffee can. “Uhoh. Who at?”
他拿出他自己的刷子和一个空的咖啡罐，“啊哦。因为谁？”
“I didn’t intend to. At the time I was engaged to somebody else, and in no position to fall in love. Fortunately for me I saw how blind I’d been before it was too late.”
“我并没有意图。当时我已经和别人订婚了，并没有爱上别人的权利。幸运的是在无法挽回之前我发现了自己有多么盲目。”
“Blind?”
“盲目？”
“Oh, don’t be, that’s all right.” He shook his head and tried on a smile. “Besides, I wasn’t thinking of Renée. I was thinking of someone else. Someone who’s never been able to look beneath the surface. At this point I don’t suppose I even want her to.”
“哦，不需要抱歉，那没关系。”他摇了摇头试着微笑，“再说，我没在想芮妮。我在想其他人。一个从来不能看到表面以下的人。这会儿我甚至都不希望她看了。”
“Yes. My fiancée was very beautiful. She had the most magnificent brown eyes, and skin like an angel. And for a time all I could see was her beauty. But then… well, let’s just say I discovered she wasn’t a fraction of the person Renée was.” He dipped his brush in the coffee can and stroked a picket with paint. “It’s easy to look back and see it, and it’s easy to give the advice, but the sad fact is, most people don’t look beneath the surface until it’s too late.”
“是的。我的未婚妻很美丽。她拥有最高贵的棕色眼睛，还有天使般的皮肤。但然后…嗯，我还是承认吧，我发现她连芮妮的一小部分都不如。”他把刷子放在咖啡罐里蘸了蘸，然后用油漆刷一个尖桩。“回头看看很容易，接受忠告也很容易，但遗憾的事实是，大多数的人在为时已晚之前都不会深入看看。”
We were quiet a minute, but I could see Chet thinking. And from the furrow in his brow, I knew it had nothing to do with my problems. “I’m… I’m sorry I brought up your wife,” I said.
我们都安静了一会儿，但我能看出切特在思考。而从他额上的皱纹来看，我知道他对我的问题一点办法都没有。“我…我很抱歉我提起了你妻子。”我说。
Who was he talking about? I wanted to know! But I felt it would be crossing some line to ask, so we painted pickets in silence. At last he turned to me and said, “Get beyond his eyes and his smile and the sheen of his hair — look at what’s really there.”
他在说谁呢？我想知道！但是我觉得这样问不太礼貌，所以我们沉默地刷着漆。最后他转向我说道：“越过他的眼睛，他的微笑和他闪光的头发——看看那里有什么真正的东西。”
When it was time to go in for dinner, I still didn’t feel right, but at least the tornado was gone.
当到了晚餐的时间，我还是觉得不对劲，但至少龙卷风已经走了。
The way he said it sent a chill through me. It was as though he knew. And suddenly I felt defensive. Was he telling me his grandson wasn’t worth it?
他说话的方式让我一直颤栗。好像他知道似的。突然之间我感到防备。他是在告诉我他的孙子并不值得吗？
Mom said Dad was working late, and since the boys were off with their friends, it was just the two of us. She told me that she and Dad had talked about it and that they both felt a little strange having Chet come over like he was. Maybe, she said, they should find a way to pay him for his help.
妈妈说爸爸要工作到很晚，而男孩们去找朋友们了，所以就剩下我们俩。她告诉我她和爸爸讨论过，都觉得让切特来帮忙很奇怪。也许，她说，他们能找到一个方法给他报酬。
I told her I thought Chet would find that insulting, but the next day she went ahead and insulted him anyway. Chet said, “No, Mrs. Baker. It’s been my pleasure to help out your daughter on this project,” and wouldn’t hear another word about it.
我告诉她切特会认为那是种冒犯，但是第二天她还是去冒犯了他。切特说，“不，贝克太太。能帮助你女儿完成这个工作我很愉快。”然后再也不想听到一个字。
The week ended with my dad loading the back of his truck with all the clippings and scraps before he set off for work on Saturday morning. Then Chet and I spent the rest of the day hoeing up weeds and raking and readying the dirt for seeding.
这周结束的时候，周六早晨爸爸带着一卡车的树枝和碎屑去上班。然后切特和我用了剩下的时间除杂草，耙平泥土，准备好种子的泥土。
“Oh, my daughter brought up the possibility at the dinner table last night. She thought that maybe you’re fixing up the house because you’re getting ready to sell it.”
“哦，我女儿昨天晚饭时说了这种可能。她认为你们修理院子是想要为卖房做准备。”
“Moving? Why do you say that?”
“搬家？为什么这么说？”
Just wait until I got my hands on the backyard! Then maybe I’d even paint the house. I could do it. I could.
就等着我去后院开工吧！然后也许我还会重刷一遍房子。我能这么做。我能。
It was on this last day that Chet asked, “Your family’s not moving, are you?”
在最后一天切特问道：“你们并不在搬家，是吗？”
Chet was pretty quiet after I told him the story, and when Mom brought us out sandwiches at lunchtime, we sat on the porch and ate without saying a word. Then he broke the silence by nodding across the street and saying, “I don’t know why he doesn’t just come out and say hello.”
切特在我告诉他这个故事后非常安静，而当我妈妈拿了三明治当午餐时，我们坐在门廊上一言不发地吃饭。然后他打破了沉默，向街对面点了点头说道：“我不知道他为什么不直接过来打招呼。”
Even though Chet and I had talked about a lot of things while we were working, I probably wouldn’t have told him about Mr. Finnegan or Uncle David or why the yard was such a mess if he hadn’t asked me about moving. But since he had, well, I wound up telling him everything. And it felt good to talk about it. Especially about Uncle David. It felt like blowing a dandelion into the wind and watching all the little seeds float off, up and away. I was proud of my parents, and looking around the front yard, I was proud of me, too.
虽说我和切特在一星期内聊了很多，如果他没有问到搬家，我可能不会告诉他关于芬尼根先生和大卫叔叔，或者为什么院子一团糟。但是既然他问了，唉，我决定告诉他一切。而谈论这些感觉不错。特别是关于大卫叔叔。这感觉就像把一朵蒲公英吹向风，然后看着小小的种子漂浮起来，飞向远方。我为我父母感到骄傲，而看着我们的院子，我也为自己骄傲。
“That’s the third time I’ve seen him watching.”
“这已经是我第三次看到他了。”
“Who?” I asked, then looked across the street to where he’d nodded. The curtain in Bryce’s room moved quickly back into place, and I couldn’t help asking, “Bryce?”
“谁？”我问，然后看着街对面他点头的地方。布莱斯房间的窗帘迅速拉上了，而我忍不住问道：“布莱斯？”
“Really?” My heart was fluttering about like a baby bird trying to fly.
“真的吗？”我的心跳动着，就像是一只小鸟在试着飞翔。
I was happy to finally be planting the yard, but I couldn’t help being distracted by Bryce’s window. Was he watching? During the rest of the afternoon, I checked more often than I’d like to admit. And I’m afraid Chet noticed, too, because when we were all done and we’d congratulated each other on what was sure to be a fine-looking yard, he said, “He may be acting like a coward now, but I do hold out hope for the boy.”
我为最终能够种植院子感到高兴，但是布莱斯的窗户一直让我分心。他在看吗？整个剩下的下午，我检查的次数连自己都不愿承认。而我害怕切特也注意到了，因为当我们都结束工作，祝贺对方这将会是一个多么好的院子时，他说：“他现在可能还像个懦夫，但我还对那个男孩抱有希望。”
A coward? What on earth could I say to that? I just stood there with the hose in one hand and the spigot valve beneath the other.
懦夫？我怎么会这么说呢？我只是一只手拿着水管，一只手压着阀门，直直地站在那儿。
He frowned and said, “Let’s finish up and get that seed sown, shall we? You’ll want the warmth of the day to help with the germination.”
他皱着眉说：“让我们完成任务并开始撒种，好吗？你会想让它们在最温暖的日子发芽。”
And with that, Chet waved so long and walked across the street.
就这样，切特挥了很久的手并穿过了街道。
I turned my back on him and concentrated on watering the yard. What a fool I was! What a complete idiot! And I had just built up a nice head of angry steam when I heard, “It’s looking good, Juli. Nice job.”
我背向他并专注于给院子浇水。我多傻啊！我是个十足的傻瓜！当我正建起极高的怒气时，我却听到：“看起来不错啊，朱莉。做得很好。”
It was Bryce, standing right there on our driveway. And suddenly I wasn’t mad at me anymore. I was mad at him. How could he stand there like my supervisor and tell me, Nice job? He had no business saying anything after what he’d done.
是布莱斯，就站在我们的车道上。突然间我不再因为自己生气了，我在因为他生气。他怎么能像我的监督者似的站在那儿并告诉我，做得很好？他在做了那些事后已经没有资格说任何话。
A few minutes later I saw Bryce coming down the sidewalk toward his house. I did a double take. All this time I’d thought he was inside the house watching, and he was really outside walking around? I was embarrassed all over again.
几分钟后我看见布莱斯从街边走向了他们家。我的确想太多了。这整段时间我认为他在家里偷看，但是他事实上却在外面乱逛？我又觉得尴尬起来。
I was about to hose him down when he said, “I’m sorry for what I did, Juli. It was, you know… wrong.”
我几乎要用水管喷他，而他说：“我为自己做的感到抱歉。我…做错了。”
I looked at him — into those brilliant blue eyes. And I tried to do what Chet had said — I tried to look past them. What was behind them? What was he thinking? Was he really sorry? Or was he just feeling bad about the things he’d said? It was like looking into the sun, though, and I had to turn away.
我看着他——看进那对明亮的蓝眼睛。我试着做切特所说的——我试着看穿它们。这后面究竟有什么呢？他在想什么呢？他真的抱歉吗？还是他只是为他所说的感觉很差？但这就像直视着太阳，而我必须转开。
He’d come over to our house. He’d stood on our driveway. He’d said nice things. We’d laughed.
他来了我们家。他站在我们的车道上。他说了好话。我们都笑了。
I couldn’t tell you what we talked about after that, except that he was nice to me and he made me laugh. And after he left, I shut off the water and went inside feeling very, very strange.
我不能告诉你那之后我们说了什么，除了他对我很好还有他让我笑了。他走了之后，我关掉了水管进了里面感觉非常，非常奇怪。
The rest of the evening I bounced back and forth between upset and uneasy. The worst part being, I couldn’t really put my finger on what exactly I was upset or uneasy about. Of course it was Bryce, but why wasn’t I just mad? He’d been such a… scoundrel. Or happy? Why wasn’t I just happy?
剩余的夜晚我一直在苦恼和心神不宁间徘徊。最糟糕的部分是，我不能确定自己在为什么苦恼和心神不宁。这当然是因为布莱斯，但我为什么不是生气呢？他这段时间是个…坏蛋。或者快乐？为什么我不是快乐？
It took me until nearly midnight to understand what it was. It was me. Watching me.
我几乎到午夜才了解到是什么。是我自己。在注视自己。
But I wasn’t mad or happy. And as I lay in bed trying to read, I realized that upset had been overshadowed by uneasy. I felt as though someone was watching me. I got so spooked I even got up and checked out the window and in the closet and under the bed, but still the feeling didn’t go away.
但我既不生气也不开心。而当我躺在床上试着阅读，我意识到苦恼已经被心神不宁所代替。我感觉似乎有人在注视着我。我被下了一跳，我甚至爬起来查看了窗户，衣橱和床底下，但是这种感觉还是没有离开。
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