It was actually worse having her mad at me than having her harass me. Why? Because I’d screwed up, that’s why. I had egg all over my face, and blaming it on her yard had done nothing to wash it off. The way she ignored me, or so obviously avoided me, was a screaming loud reminder to me that I’d been a jerk. A royal cluck-faced jerk.
事实上她生我的气比她骚扰我更糟糕。为什么？因为我要疯了，这是为什么。我的脸上全是鸡蛋，把一切都怪在她的院子上。她无视我的方式，或者很明显地躲避我，是一个大声提示器，告诉我我原来是个坏蛋。一个极大的坏蛋。
Then one day I’m coming home from hanging out with Garrett after school, and there’s Juli in her front yard, hacking at a shrub. She is thrashing on the thing. Branches are flying over her shoulder, and clear across the street I can hear her grunting and growling and saying stuff like, “No… you… don’t! You are coming… off… whether you like it or… not!”
然后有一天放学我和加瑞特玩完之后回家，朱莉就在她的前院，砍着一丛灌木。她十分凶狠地对待着它们。树枝飞过她的肩膀，在街对面我都能听见不满地低声咆哮着：“不，你不能！都给我下…来，不管你喜欢还是…不喜欢！”
It didn’t take long for me to realize that I’d traded in my old problems with Juli Baker for a whole new set of problems with Juli Baker. I could feel her anger a mile away.
没过多久我就发现我用一个旧的问题和朱莉·贝克换了一个新的问题。我能感觉到她的愤怒离我一英里远。
Did I feel good about this? No, my friend, I did not. Yeah, their yard was a mess, and it was about time someone did something about it, but c’mon — where’s the dad? What about Matt and Mike? Why Juli? Because I’d embarrassed her into it, that’s why. I felt worse than ever.
我对此感到高兴吗？不，我的朋友，我没有。是的，他们的院子是一团糟，而这的确是时候有人做些什么了，但是——爸爸呢？马特和迈克呢？为什么是朱莉？因为我把她弄得很尴尬，这是为什么。我感觉糟透了。
So I snuck inside and tried to ignore the fact that here’s my desk and here’s my window, and right across the street from me is Juli, beating up a bush. Not conducive to concentration. No siree, Bob. I got all of zero homework done.
我进了屋，试着无视这事实，那是我的书桌，那是我的窗户，而街道正对面是朱莉，砍着灌木丛。精神无法集中。完全不行。我的功课一点都没动。
The next day at school I was trying to get up the nerve to say something to her, but I never even got the chance. She wouldn’t let me get anywhere near her.
第二天在学校我试着克服紧张对她说些什么，但是我没得到任何机会。她不让我接近她。
Then on the ride home I had this thought. It kind of freaked me out at first, but the more I played with it, the more I figured that, yeah, helping her with the yard would make up for my having been such a jerk. Assuming she didn’t boss me too much, and assuming she didn’t decide to get all gooey-eyed or something stupid like that. No, I’d go up and just tell her that I felt bad for being a jerk and I wanted to make it up to her by helping her cut back some bushes. Period. End of story. And if she still wanted to be mad at me after that, then fine. That was her problem.
然后回家的路上我有了一个想法。它开始让我惊讶，但是我越想，越觉得，是的，帮助她打扫院子会让我觉得没那么坏。假设她没有指使我，假设她没有总缠着我或做些愚蠢的事。不，我会到那儿去告诉她我感觉很糟做了一个坏人，而我想帮她砍掉灌木作为补偿。完了，这就结束了。然后如果她还想对我生气的话，那好吧。这是她的问题了。
My problem was, I never got the chance. I came trekking down from the bus stop to find my grandfather doing my good deed.
我的问题是，我根本没得到机会。我从车站下来，却发现我的外公做了我的工作。
I crouched behind a neighbor’s hedge and watched them for ten or fifteen minutes, and man, the longer I watched, the madder I got. My grandfather had already said more to her in this little slice of time than he’d said to me the whole year and a half he’d been living with us. What was his deal with Juli Baker?
我蹲在一个邻居的树篱后面观察了他们十或十五分钟，天，我越看越觉得生气。我外公在这点时间对她说的话比整整一年半对我说的都多。他和朱莉·贝克在一起做什么呢？
I took the back way home, which involved climbing two fences and kicking off the neighbor’s stupid little terrier, but it was worth it, considering I avoided the garden party across the street.
我从后面的小路回家，这需要爬过两排篱笆，踢走邻居的蠢狗，但是很值得，考虑到我避开了街对面的花园聚会。
Now, jump back. This was not something I could immediately absorb. My grandfather did not do yard work. At least, he’d never offered to help me out. My grandfather lived in house slippers — where’d he get those work boots? And those jeans and that flannel shirt — what was up with those?
现在，先回去。这可不是我能够突然接受的事。我外公没有做过院子的工作。至少，他从没自愿帮助过我。我外公总是穿着拖鞋在家——他在哪儿找到那些工作靴的？还有那条牛仔裤和那件法兰绒衬衫——这是怎么一回事？
Again I got no homework done. The more I watched them, the madder I got. I was still a cluck-faced jerk, while Juli was laughing it up with my grandfather. Had I ever seen him smile? Really smile? I don’t think so! But now he was knee- high in nettles, laughing.
我又一次没做任何作业。我越看他们越生气。在朱莉和我外公一起大笑的时候，我还是一个大坏人。我以前见过他微笑吗？我不这么认为！但他现在却笑得前仰后合。
“Well, Dad,” my mom said with a laugh, “your excursion across the street seems to have done you a world of good.”
“嗯，爸爸，”妈妈笑着说，“你在街对面的旅行让你看起来很精神。”
“Good evening,” he said as he sat down with the rest of us. “Oh, Patsy, that looks delicious!”
“晚上好，”他一边说一边和我们一起坐下，“哦，帕特斯，那看起来真美味！”
My father was just joking around, but I don’t think my grandfather took it that way. He helped himself to a cheese-stuffed potato and said, “Pass the salt, won’t you, Bryce?”
我爸爸只是在开玩笑，但我不认为外公这么想。他拿了一块沾上奶酪的土豆，“把盐给我好吗，布莱斯？”
Dad didn’t drop it, though. Instead, he said, “So why’s the girl the one who’s finally doing something about their place?”
但是他没有放弃。他反而说：“为什么是这个女孩终于开始管他们的地方？”
At dinner that night he’d showered and changed back into his regular clothes and house slippers, but he didn’t look the same. It was like someone had plugged him in and turned on the light.
那天晚上晚餐时他换上他平常的衣服和拖鞋出现了，但是他看起来不一样了。看起来就像有人给他插上了插座，开启了灯，整个人容光焕发。
“Yeah,” my father said. “Patsy tells me you’ve been over there all afternoon. If you were in the mood for home improvement projects, why didn’t you just say so?”
“是的，”爸爸说，“帕特斯告诉我你整个下午都在那儿。如果你有做家庭进步工作的心情，为什么不直接说呢？”
So there was this definite tension between my father and my grandfather, but I think if Dad had dropped the subject right then, the vibe would’ve vanished.
我爸爸和外公的关系一下就紧张起来，但我认为如果爸爸立刻放弃这个话题，气氛会有所好转。
My grandfather salted his potato very carefully, then looked across the table at me. Ah-oh, I thought. Ah- oh. In a flash I knew those stupid eggs were not behind me. Two years of sneaking them in the trash, two years of avoiding discussion of Juli and her eggs and her chickens and her earlymorning visits, and for what? Granddad knew, I could see it in his eyes. In a matter of seconds he’d crack open the truth, and I’d be as good as fried.
外公很仔细地给土豆撒上盐，然后看着桌子对面的我。啊哦，我想。啊哦。一瞬间我知道那些愚蠢的鸡蛋问题还没结束。两年以来一直偷偷扔掉它们，两年来一直避开讨论朱莉和她的鸡蛋和鸡还有她早上的探访，为了什么？外公知道了，我从他的眼睛就能看出。在过一会儿他就会说出真相，而我就会被烧焦。
After the dishes were cleared, I retreated to my room, but my grandfather came right in, closed the door behind him, and then sat on my bed. He did this all without making a sound. No squeaking, no clanking, no scraping, no breathing… I swear, the guy moved through my room like a ghost.
洗完碗之后，我回到了房间，但是外公直接跟了进来，关上我身后的门，坐在了我的床上。他做这一切都没发出任何声音。没有吱吱声、叮当声、刮擦声、呼吸声…我发誓，这个男人像鬼一样进了我的房间。
He pinched his lips together and looked at nothing but me.
他抿着嘴唇，只是看着我。
Enter a miracle. My grandfather petrified me for a minute with his eyes but then turned to my father and said, “She wants to, is all.”
奇迹发生了。他用他的眼睛把我石化了一分钟，然后他转向了爸爸：“她想这么做，这是全部了。”
A raging river of sweat ran down my temples, and as my father said, “Well, it’s about time someone did,” my grandfather looked back at me and I knew — he was not going to let me forget this. We’d just had another conversation, only this time I was definitely not dismissed.
冷汗从我的太阳穴留下来，爸爸说着，“嗯，是有人管管的时候了。”外公回头看我而我知道——他不会让我忘记这些。我们将会有另一个谈话，只不过这一次我完全无法避免。
And of course I’m banging my knee and dropping my pencil and deteriorating into a pathetic pool of Jell-O. But I tried my best to sound cool as I said, “Hello, Granddad. Come to check out the digs?”
当然，我端正地坐好，扔下了铅笔。我用最大努力试图让我的声音听起来冷静：“你好，外公。你来做什么？”
I cracked. “Look, Granddad, I know I messed up. I should’ve just told her, but I couldn’t. And I kept thinking they’d stop. I mean, how long can a chicken lay eggs? Those things hatched in the fifth grade! That was like, three years ago!
我一下就崩盘了：“好吧，外公，我知道我搞砸了。我应该直接告诉她，但是我不能。而且我一直认为他们会停下的。我的意思是，一只鸡能下多少蛋？那些东西五年级就孵出来了！那就是，三年前！
He was nodding, but very slowly.
他在点头，但是非常缓慢。
I sighed and said, “Thank you for not saying anything about it at dinner. I owe you.”
我叹了口气说道：“谢谢你在晚餐时什么也没说。我欠你的。”
“Yes, sir.”
“是的，先生。”
Don’t they eventually run out? And what was I supposed to do? Tell her Mom was afraid of salmonella poisoning? And Dad wanted me to tell her we were allergic — c’mon, who’s going to buy that? So I just kept, you know, throwing them out. I didn’t know she could’ve sold them. I thought they were just extras.”
它们最终不会停吗？而且我能做什么？告诉她妈妈我们害怕沙门氏菌中毒？而爸爸想让我告诉他们我们过敏——听听，谁会相信啊？所以我只好一直，你知道，扔掉它们。我不知道她能卖掉。我以为那是多余的。”
He frowned and said, “Don’t yes-sir me, Bryce.” Then he stood and added, “Just think about what I’ve said, and the next time you’re faced with a choice, do the right thing. It hurts everyone less in the long run.” With that, poof, he was gone.
他皱眉道：“别这么跟我说话，布莱斯。”然后他站起来又补了一句：“想想我说的，下一次面对一个选择的时候，做正确的事。长痛不如短痛。”说完，他就走了。
He pulled my curtain aside and looked across the street. “One’s character is set at an early age, son. The choices you make now will affect you for the rest of your life.” He was quiet for a minute, then dropped the curtain and said, “I hate to see you swim out so far you can’t swim back.”
他把我的窗帘拉开，看着街道对面。“坏习惯是从小养成的，孩子。现在的选择会影响你的一生。”他安静了一会儿，然后拉上窗帘说道：“我可不想看你成为城边浪子回不了头。”
The next day I went to shoot some hoops at Garrett’s after school, and when his mom dropped me off later that afternoon, my granddad didn’t even notice. He was too busy being Joe Carpenter in Juli’s front yard.
第二天放学后我去加瑞特家玩了一会儿，当他妈妈把我从车上放下来时，外公根本就没有注意到。他忙着在朱莉的前院里当园丁。
I tried to do my homework at the breakfast bar, but my mom came home from work and started being all chatty, and then Lynetta appeared and the two of them started fighting about whether Lynetta’s makeup made her look like a wounded raccoon.
我试着在早餐台上做作业，但是妈妈工作回来开始闲谈，然后琳内塔出现了，她们就开始吵架，说是因为琳内塔的妆把她弄得像个受伤的浣熊。
I look out the window and there’s Juli, spitting out nails and slamming them in place. No kidding. She’s got nails lined up between her lips like steel cigarettes, and she’s swinging that hammer full-arc, way above her head, driving nails into pickets like they’re going into butter.我看向窗户,朱莉就在那儿,吐出钉子用力把它们钉上去.没开玩笑,她把钉子放在嘴唇中间像一条钢香烟,她把榔头甩成一条弧线,超过头顶,把钉子敲进尖桩里.
无
Lynetta. I swear she’ll never learn.
琳内塔。我发誓她永远都不会学聪明点。
For a split second there, I saw my head as the recipient of her hammer, cracking open like Humpty Dumpty. I shuddered and dropped the curtain, ditched the homework, and headed for the TV.
有那么几秒钟的时间，我仿佛看见了自己的头是她榔头下的受害者，像鸡蛋一样裂开。我耸了耸肩拉上了窗帘，钻进作业堆里，然后去看电视。
I packed up my stuff and escaped to my room, which, of course, was a total waste. They’ve got a saw revving and wailing across the street, and in between cuts I can hear the whack, whack, whack! whack, whack, whack! of a hammer.
我整理了东西并逃回了我房间，当然，这根本没有。街道对面正有一把锯子在发动，在砍动的声音中我能听见砰、砰、砰！砰、砰、砰！榔头在敲。
They handymanned all week. And every night Granddad would come in with rosy cheeks and a huge appetite and compliment my mom on what a great cook she was. Then Saturday happened. And the last thing I wanted was to spend the day at home while my grandfather churned up dirt and helped plant Juli’s yard. Mom tried to get me to do our own yard, but I would have felt ridiculous micromowing our grass with Granddad and Juli making real changes right across the street.
他们工作了整整一个星期。每天晚上外公进来的时候都是容光焕发，有很好的食欲，并赞赏我妈妈是个很棒的厨师。然后周六到了。我最不想做的事就是整天在家看着外公掀起大量泥土，给朱莉帮忙。妈妈试图让我整理我们的院子，但是除掉小小的草会让我觉得很荒诞因为外公和朱莉正在街道对面实施大改造。
So I locked myself in my room and called Garrett. He wasn’t home, and everybody else I called had stuff they had to do. And hitting up Mom or Dad for a ride to the movies or the mall was hopeless. They’d tell me I was supposed to be doing the yard.
所以我把自己锁在房间里给加瑞特打电话。他不在家，而我打给其他的人他们都有事要做。而和爸爸妈妈出去看电影或逛街根本没有希望。他们会告诉我应该去打扫院子。
What I was, was stuck.
而我不能，不能做任何事。
And what I wound up doing was looking out the stupid window at Juli and my grandfather. It was a totally lame thing to do, but that’s what I did.
我唯一能做的就是看着没趣的窗户外面朱莉和我外公。这是一件无比差劲的事，但是我却做了。
I got nailed doing it, too. By my grandfather. And he, of course, had to point me out to Juli, which made me feel another two inches shorter. I dropped the curtain and blasted out the back door and over the fence. I had to get out of there.
而且我还被外公发现了。而他，当然，把这一发现告诉了朱莉，这让我感觉又渺小了很多。我拉上窗帘一阵风似的冲出了后门，我必须离开那儿。
I swear I walked ten miles that day. And I don’t know who I was madder at — my grandfather, Juli, or me. What was wrong with me? If I wanted to make it up to Juli, why didn’t I just go over there and help? What was stopping me?
我发誓那一天我走了整整十英里。而我根本不知道自己更生谁的气——我外公，朱莉，还是自己。我到底怎么了？如果我想和朱莉和好，为什么我没有过去帮忙？是什么在阻止着我？
I wound up at Garrett’s house, and man, I’d never been so glad to see anyone in my life. Leave it to Garrett to get your mind off anything important.
我到了加瑞特家，天哪，我这一生都没有感觉见到一个人这么高兴。和加瑞特会让你觉得一切都不重要了。
And when I got home, there was Juli, sprinkling the yard.
然后当我回到家，朱莉还在那儿，给院子浇水。
That dude’s the master. We went out back and shot hoops, watched the tube, and talked about hitting the water slides this summer.
那家伙是个专家。我们去了后门扔铁环，聊了聊夏天去滑水的事。
She saw me, all right, but she didn’t wave or smile or anything. She just looked away.
她看见了我，一点不错，不过她既没有招手也没微笑。她看向了别处。
Normally what I’d do in that situation is maybe pretend like I hadn’t seen her, or give a quick wave and charge inside. But she’d been mad at me for what seemed like ages. She hadn’t said word one to me since the morning of the eggs. She’d completely dissed me in math a couple days before when I’d smiled at her, trying to tell her I was sorry. She didn’t smile back or nod or anything. She just turned away and never looked back.
平常在这种情况下我也许会假装没看见她，或快速地招招手绕到一旁。但是她已经对我生了很长时间的气。从那个早晨开始她就没和我说过一个字。在我对她微笑，试图告诉她我很抱歉之前，上数学课的时候她无视了我很多天。她没有对我微笑或点头或做任何事。她只是转过身再也不看过来。
I even waited for her outside the classroom to say something, anything, about her fixing up the yard and how bad I felt, but she ditched me out the other door, and after that anytime I got anywhere near her, she’d find some way to skate around me.
我甚至等在教室外面想说些什么，随便什么，关于她打扫院子和我感觉糟透了，但是她从另一扇门出去甩掉了我，然后当任何时候我一接近她，她都会找到办法从我身边溜走。
“Thanks,” she said without smiling. “Chet did most of it.”
“谢谢，”她笑都没笑，“切特帮了很大的忙。”
Chet? I thought. Chet? What was she doing, calling my grandfather by his first name? “Look, Juli,” I said, trying to get on with why I was there. “I’m sorry for what I did.”
切特？我心想？她怎么能，叫我外公的名字？“朱莉，”我说，试着切入主题，“我为我做的感到抱歉。”
“I… I don’t know. It was dumb. I should have. And I shouldn’t have said anything about the yard, either. It was, you know, out of line.”
“我…我不知道。这很愚蠢。我应该告诉你。而且我也不应该批评你的院子。这样，你知道，太失礼了。”
So there she was, watering the yard, making me feel like a jerk, and I’d had enough of it. I went up to her and said, “It’s looking real good, Juli. Nice job.”
但是她在那儿，给院子浇水，让我觉得自己像个坏蛋，而我已经受够了。我朝她走过去然后说：“院子看起来挺不错的，朱莉。你做得很好。”
I was already feeling better. A lot better. Then Juli says, “Well, maybe it’s all for the better,” and starts bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, acting more like her old self. “Doesn’t it look great? I learned so much from Chet it’s amazing. You are so lucky. I don’t even have grandparents anymore.”
我已经感觉好多了。好很多。然后朱莉说：“嗯，也许这样更好。”然后开始在地上弹跳，这看起来更像原来的她。“看起来还不错吧？我从切特那儿学到了不少，很有意思。你很幸运。我的祖父母都过世了。”
She looked at me for a second, then went back to watching the water spray across the dirt.
她看了我几秒钟，然后转过去看着水花洒向对面的土地。
Finally she said, “I still don’t get it, Bryce. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
最后她说，“我还是不明白，布莱斯。你为什么不直接告诉我？”
“Oh,” I said, not knowing what to say.
“哦。”我说，不知道该说什么。
“Yeah,” she laughs again. “That’s what I said. But he meant it in a nice way.”
“是啊，”她又笑了，“我当时就是这么说的。但是他也是好意。”
“What?”
“什么？”
“I do feel sorry for him, though. He sure misses your grandmother.” Then she laughs and shakes her head, saying, “Can you believe it? He says I remind him of her.”
“不过我很同情他。他肯定很想念你外婆。”然后她笑着摇了摇头，“你相信吗？他说我就像她。”
I could not see Juli coated in powder. Okay, maybe gun powder, but the white perfumy stuff? Forget it.
我无法想象朱莉搽粉的样子。好吧，火药倒是有可能，但是白色带香气的东西？算了吧。
I looked at Juli and tried to picture my grandmother as an eighth grader. It was hopeless. I mean, Juli’s got long, fluffy brown hair and a nose full of freckles, where my grandmother had always been some variety of blond. And my grandmother had used powder. Puffy white powder. She’d put it on her face and in her hair, in her slippers and on her chest… That woman powdered everything.
我看着朱莉试图想象我外婆八年级时的样子。这毫无希望。我的意思是，朱莉有一头长长的，蓬松的棕发，还有一个长满了雀斑的鼻子，而我奶奶的头发是金色。而且她总是在脸上搽粉。大量的白粉。她会搽在脸上和头发上，她的拖鞋和她胸口…那个女人到处都是粉。
“Yeah, whatever. Well, good luck with the grass. I’m sure it’ll come up great.” Then I totally surprised myself by saying, “Knowing you, you’ll get ’em all to hatch.” I didn’t say it mean or anything, I really meant it. I laughed, and then she laughed, and that’s how I left her — sprinkling her soon-to-be sod, smiling.
“嗯，或许吧。嗯，祝你草长得好。我肯定它们会看起来很好。接下来我说的话连自己都不敢相信：“我了解你，你会让它们全孵出来。”我不是故意的，只是说说而已。我笑了，然后她也笑了，然后我就这样离开了她——给她未来的草地浇水，微笑。
I guess I was staring, because Juli says, “Look, I didn’t say it, he did. I just thought it was nice, that’s all.”
我大概一直盯着她，因为朱莉说，“嗨，这可不是我说的，是他。我只是认为这很友好，没别的意思。”
Lynetta had on her usual pout, so that wasn’t it. But my father’s idea of saying hello was to lay into me about the lawn.
琳内塔依旧撅着嘴，这很正常。但是爸爸朝我微笑的意思就是想让我去弄草坪。
“No sweat,” I told him. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“不会再拖了，”我告诉他，“我明天就去做。”
Mom nudged Dad with her foot, but that only made things worse. “No, Patsy! I want to know why your father has the energy and inclination to befriend a complete stranger when he’s never done so much as toss a baseball around with his own grandson!”
妈妈用脚轻踢了爸爸一下，但这只让事态更糟。“不，帕特斯！我想知道你父亲为什么有精力和爱好和一个陌生的女孩交朋友，却从来不和他自己的孙子玩玩棒球！”
Then Mom says to my granddad, “You tired tonight, Dad?”
然后妈妈对我外公说：“你今晚很累吗，爸爸？”
It took me a few minutes at the dinner table to realize that I was the only one who was.
我在餐桌上用了几分钟才发现我是唯一一个这么想的人。
My grandfather straightens his fork on his napkin and says, “”That girl” is named Juli, and no, she isn’t “working me too hard,” as you so callously put it.”
外公用餐巾把他的叉子弄直然后说，“‘那女孩’的名字是朱莉，然后没有，她没有‘让我干太多活儿’，以你这么冷漠的方式。”
“Callous? Me?” My dad laughs and says, “Developed quite a soft spot for that girl, haven’t you?”
“冷漠？我？”爸爸笑着说，“看来你对她挺有好感，是吗？”
I hadn’t been in such a good mood in weeks. The eggs were finally behind me. I was absolved. Relieved. Happy.
我一整周心情都没这么好过。鸡蛋的事终于告一段落了。我觉得被赦免了，很放松，很开心。
“Yeah,” my father tosses down the table at him. “That girl working you too hard?”
“是啊，”我爸爸敲了敲桌子，“那女孩让你干了太多活儿？”
All that got me was a scowl.
而我却只得到了一个怒容。
I hadn’t even noticed him sitting there like a stone.
我没有注意到他像石头一般坐在那儿。
Even Lynetta let her pout go for a minute. These were fighting words and everyone knew it.
甚至连琳内塔都让她的怒气消失了几分钟。这是挑衅的话，所有人都知道。
“Yes, her spirit.” My grandfather’s quiet for a minute, then asks, “Do you know why the Bakers haven’t fixed up the yard until now?”
“是的，她的精神。”外公沉默了一会儿，然后问道：“你知道贝克家为什么一直没有修理院子吗？”
Well, yeah! I thought. But then I remembered — I owed my grandfather. Owed him big-time.
哦，是啊！我想。但接着我想到——我欠了外公的。欠了他很大的人情。
“They are not trash, Rick. They are good, honest, hardworking people –“
“他们不是垃圾，里克。他们都是友好、诚实、努力工作的人——”
“Her spirit,” my father says. Like he’s talking to a lying kindergartner.
“她的精神。”我爸爸说，他的口气就像是和幼儿园孩子说话。
He nodded and rearranged his fork some more.
他点头，更用力地拉直他的叉子。
“Who have absolutely no pride in how they present themselves to the rest of the world. We’ve lived across the street from those people for over six years, and there is no excuse for the state they’re in.”
“是绝对在其他人面前没有任何自尊。我们住在街对面六年了，他们的状况没有任何借口可讲。”
“Why? Sure. They’re trash, that’s why. They’ve got a beat-up house, two beat-up cars, and a beat-up yard.”
“为什么？当然。他们都是垃圾。这是为什么。他们有一栋破旧的房子，两辆破旧的车，和一个破旧的院子。”
Everyone clammed up and stared at me. So I looked at my grandfather and said, “Uh… isn’t that right, Granddad?”
每一个人都冷冷地瞪着我。所以我看着外公然后说，“呃…对吗，外公？”
Without thinking, I said, “Take it easy, Dad. Juli just reminds him of Grandma.”
我想都没想，就说：“放松点儿，爸爸。朱莉只是让他想起了外婆。”
“Of Renée?” My father looked at my mother and then at Granddad. “She can’t possibly!”
“想起芮妮？”我爸爸看着妈妈然后是外公，“她不太可能。”
My granddad closed his eyes and said, “It’s her spirit that reminds me of Renée.”
我外公合上了眼睛说：“是她的精神让我想起了芮妮。”
“Sure! It explains why those people are the way they are…!” He grins around the table at us. “Must run in the family.”
“当然！这解释了这些人为什么是这样的…！”他对着我们露齿而笑，“肯定和遗传有关。”
My grandfather looks at him for a minute, then quietly says, “Juli’s father has a retarded brother, and –“
我外公看了他一会儿，然后平静地说：“朱莉的爸爸有一个智障弟弟，而且——”
“No?” My grandfather takes a deep breath and seems to weigh things in his mind for a few seconds. Then he says, “Tell me this, Rick. If you had a brother or sister or child who had a severe mental or physical handicap, what would you do?”
“没有吗？”外公做了次深呼吸，似乎在考虑他脑海里的事。然后他说：“告诉我，里克。如果你有个兄弟或姐妹有头脑和身体障碍，你会怎么做？”
It was like my granddad had passed gas in church. My father’s face pinched, his head shook, and finally he said, “Chet, what does that have to do with anything?”
这就像外公往教堂里放了煤气。我爸爸拉下了脸，他摇了摇头，最后说：“切特，这也扯太远了吧？”
My father interrupts him with a laugh. “Well, that explains a lot, doesn’t it!”
爸爸笑着打断了他。“哦，那就好理解多了，是吧！”
Everyone looks at him. Lynetta’s jaw drops, and for once she’s speechless. My mother says, “Rick!” but all my father can do is laugh a nervous kind of laugh and say, “It was just a joke! I mean, obviously something’s wrong with those people. Oh, excuse me, Chet. I forgot. The girl reminds you of Renée.”
每个人都看着他。琳内塔惊讶得下巴都掉了下来，这是唯一一次她无话可说。我妈妈说：“里克！”但是我爸爸能做的只是紧张地笑了笑，说道：“开个玩笑而已！我的意思是，很明显那些人有些问题。哦，对不起，切特。我忘了，那个女孩让你想起芮妮。”
“Explains… a lot?” my grandfather asks. Quietly. Calmly.
“好理解…多了？”我外公问道。他的语气还是波澜不惊。
“Oh, Patsy, please. Your father’s being overly dramatic, trying to make me feel bad for criticizing our neighbors because there’s a retarded relative someplace. Other people have family troubles and still manage to mow their lawn. They should have a little pride in ownership, for cryin’ out loud!”
“哦，帕特斯，别傻了。你父亲过于激动，试图让我们因为批评他们感觉不好，因为他们有一个智障的亲戚。家家有本难念的经，可他们仍旧有时间给院子除草啊。他们应该有点主人的责任感。真是岂有此理！”
“Rick!” my mother says again, only this time she’s mad.
“里克！”我妈妈又叫了一次，只不过这次她真生气了。
“Still,” my dad says, “there are government facilities available, and if they don’t want to go that route, that’s their choice. It’s not our fault their family had some sort of chromosomal abnormality, and I refuse to feel guilty for wanting –“
“尽管那样，”我爸爸说，“总有些空余的公共机构，他们如果不想那么做，那是他们的选择。而且他家遗传的弱智基因，也不管我们的事，我不会感到内疚或者为此——”
Very quietly my mom asks, “Don’t they have government facilities for that kind of thing?”
我妈妈很安静地说：“不是应该有公共机构负责接收照顾他吗？”
My grandfather’s cheeks are seriously flushed, but his voice is rock-steady as he says, “They don’t own that house, Rick. The landlord is supposed to maintain the premises, but he doesn’t. And since Juli’s father is responsible for his brother, all their reserves go to his care, and obviously it doesn’t come cheap.”
我外公的脸涨得通红，但是他说的话仍旧掷地有声：“那房子的产权不是他们家的，里克。房东应该负责维护庭院，但他没有。而且朱莉的爸爸对他弟弟有责任，他们所有的积蓄都花在了他身上，很明显这并不便宜。”
“I don’t know the details, Patsy. Maybe there are no government facilities nearby. Maybe they thought a private facility was a better place for him to be.”
“我不知道细节，帕特斯。也许这附近没有公共机构。也许他们觉得更私人的机构更适合他。”
“What do you mean?”
“什么意思？”
That left Granddad and me and a table full of cold food. “Wow,” I finally said. “I had no idea.”
这让我和外公留在了桌边，还有满满的冷食物。“喔，”我最后说，“我根本不知道。”
My mother was suddenly hysterical. In seconds she was bawling her eyes out, wailing, and my father was all over her, trying to calm her down. It was no use. She basically dissolved right there on the spot.
我妈妈突然变得情绪异常激动。没几秒她就开始号啕大哭，而我爸爸全顾着她了，试图让她冷静下来。但没有用。她基本上已经瘫痪在了座位上。
My grandfather slams his hand on the table and half-stands as he says, “It had nothing to do with chromosomes, Rick! It was caused by a lack of oxygen at birth.” He brings his voice down, but it makes his words seem even more forceful. “Juli’s uncle had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Twice. One minute he was a perfect little baby, just like your son, Bryce, and the next he was irreversibly damaged.”
外公用力把手拍在桌上，半站起来说：“这和遗传基因没有任何关系，里克！这是他出生时缺氧造成的。”他压低了声音，但是这让他的每一个字都更加铿锵有力：“朱莉的叔叔当时被脐带缠住了脑袋。两圈。他原先也是个健全的婴儿，就像你儿子，布莱斯，但他却受到了无法挽回的伤害。”
He sat there like granite for a minute, then leaned across the table toward me and said, “Why do you suppose that upset your mother so much?”
他像岩石般在那儿坐了一会儿，然后向我靠近点说：“你认为这为什么让你妈妈很激动？”
“You still don’t,” he told me.
“你还是不知道。”他告诉我。
Lynetta threw her napkin down and muttered, “This family is a joke,” and took off. Then my mother bolted out of the room, sobbing into her hands, and my father raced after her, throwing my grandfather the wickedest look I’d ever seen.
琳内塔扔下了她的餐巾咕哝着“这个家太不可思议了，”离开了。而妈妈冲出了房间，捂着脸哭，爸爸跟着她跑过去，抛给了外公一个最恶劣的眼神。
He leaned forward even farther and whispered, “You did.”
他更靠近我，然后低声说道：“是你。”
I thought about it a minute and finally asked, “Did her brother have the cord around his neck when he was born?”
我想了几分钟终于问道：“她弟弟出生时也被脐带缠住脑袋了吗？”
He nodded. “Twice.”
他点头。“也是两圈。”
“I did?”
“我？”
“The doctor who delivered you was on the ball, plus apparently there was some slack in the cord, so he was able to loop it off as you came out. You didn’t hang yourself coming into the world, but it could very easily have gone the other way.”
“为你接生的医生很有经验，假设脐带间还有空隙，所以他可以在你出生时把你套出来。你没有以这种方式出生，不过这很有可能。”
If I’d been told years or even weeks ago that I’d come down the chute noosed and ready to hang, I’d have made some kind of joke about it, or more likely I’d have said, Yeah, that’s nice; now can you spare me the discussion?
如果几年甚至几个星期前有人告诉我，我是带着绞索出生并且准备上吊，我一定会把它当做一个笑话，或者更有可能说，是啊，那很好；现在我们能不讨论了吗？
He smiled, but just barely. “No. She’s upset because she knows that she could very well be standing in Mr. Baker’s shoes right now.”
他微笑，但是那看起来很苍白。“不。她这么激动是因为她知道，她现在很可能也会和贝克先生一样。”
“But…”
“但是…”
But after everything that had happened, I was really freaking out, and I couldn’t escape the questions tidal-waving my brain. Where would I be if things had been different? What would they have done with me? From the way my dad was talking, he wouldn’t have had much use for me, that’s for sure. He’d have stuck me in a nuthouse somewhere, any where, and forgotten about me. But then I thought, No! I’m his kid. He wouldn’t do that… would he?
但是发生了这些事后，我真的被吓到了，而一个问题像潮水一般，让我无法逃离。如果事情不是这样，我现在会在那儿？他们会对我做什么？听我爸爸的意思，他不会为我做很多，这是肯定的。他可能会把我送进某个精神病院，任何地方，然后忘记我。但然后我想，不！我是他的孩子。他不会那么做…他会吗？
He shook his head. “Well, then…”
他摇了摇头。“嗯，那么…”
“I… I don’t know.” I gave a halfhearted grin and said, “Because she’s female?”
“我…我不知道。”我半真心地露齿而笑，说道：“因为她是女人？”
“Well…!”
“嗯…！”
I nodded and tried to get a grip, but I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Then he said, “By the way, I appreciated your comment before.”
我点头，试着控制住自己，但是我并没有太成功。然后他说：“对啦，我感谢你刚才的评论。”
I doubted it, and man, I doubted it big-time. I’d have been an embarrassment. Something to try to forget about. How things looked had always been a biggie to my parents. Especially to my dad.
我不确定，天哪，我极其怀疑。我可能会令人难堪。变成别人试图忘记的东西。表面的东西一直对我父母很重要。特别是我爸爸。
“About your grandmother. How did you know that?”
“关于你外婆。你是怎么知道的？”
“Oh? You spoke with her, then?”
“哦？那么你和她谈话了？”
“Yeah. Actually, I apologized to her.”
“是的。事实上，我向她道歉了。”
I shook my head and said, “Juli told me.”
我摇了摇头，“朱莉告诉我的。”
“And I was feeling a lot better about everything, but now… God, I feel like such a jerk again.”
“而且我对这一切都感觉好多了，但现在…天哪，我又觉得自己是个坏蛋了。”
I looked around at everything we had — the big house, the white carpet, the antiques and artwork and stuff that was everywhere. Would they have given up all the stuff to make my life more pleasant?
我看着周围我们所拥有的东西——大房子，白色的地毯，古董和装饰画，各个角落的东西。他们会把这些东西给我让我的生活更快乐吗？
Very quietly my granddad said, “You can’t dwell on what might have been, Bryce.” Then, like he could read my mind, he added, “And it’s not fair to condemn him for something he hasn’t done.”
外公很平静地说：“你不能总想着那些可能的却没有发生的事，布莱斯。”然后，就像他知道我的想法一样，他加上：“你不能因为一些他没有做的事而指责他。”
“What?” I asked, but my throat was feeling all pinched and swollen.
“什么？”我问，但是我的喉咙却感觉异常肿胀。
“I find it really helps to clear the mind,” he said, and that’s when I realized that this wasn’t just a walk — this was an invitation to do something together.
“我发现那样会让脑子清醒很多。”他说，然后我才意识到这不仅是去散步——这是个一起做些什么的邀请。
Go for a walk? What I wanted to do was go to my room, lock the door, and be left alone.
去走走？我想做的是回到我房间，锁上门，不受任何打扰。
I stood up and said, “Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”
我站起来说，“好。让我们离开这儿。”
“Don’t. You apologized, and that’s what matters.” He stood up and said, “Say, I’m in the mood for a walk. Want to join me?”
“不用。你道歉了，这才是重要的。”他站起来说，“我想出去走走。你要一起吗？”
For a guy who’d only basically ever said Pass the salt to me, my granddad turned out to be a real talker. We walked our neighborhood and the next neighborhood and the next neighborhood, and not only did I find out that my granddad knows a lot of stuff, I found out that the guy is funny. In a subtle kind of dry way. It’s the stuff he says, plus the way he says it. It’s really, I don’t know, cool.
作为一个只对我说把盐给我的男人，我外公其实是个挺会聊的人。我们走完了我们的街区，下一个街区和在下个街区，而我不仅仅发现我外公懂得很多事情，我还发现他其实很幽默。带着一点微妙的一本正经。他说的事情，再加上他说的方式。这非常酷。
As we were winding back into our own territory, we passed by the house that’s going up where the sycamore tree used to be. My granddad stopped, looked up into the night, and said, “It must’ve been a spectacular view.”
既然我们在自己的领土上，我们经过了一座房子，那里原来是那棵梧桐树。外公停了下来，向上看着天空，然后说：“那一定是非常壮观的景象。”
Luckily I didn’t have to answer. He just grinned and said, “Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss…” He turned to me. “But every once in a while you find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.”
幸运的是我不需要回答。他露齿一笑然后说：“我们当中有些人浅薄，有些人金玉其外，而败絮其中。但是有一天你会遇到一个像彩虹般绚丽的人。当你遇到这个人后，会觉得其他人只是浮云而已。”
“Your mother pointed her out to me one time as we drove by. It scared me to see her up so high, but after I read the article I understood why she did it.” He shook his head. “The tree’s gone, but she’s still got the spark it gave her. Know what I mean?”
“有一次我们经过的时候你妈妈指给了我看。我看到她在那么高有点儿害怕，但是我读了报道之后才了解了她为什么这么做。”他摇了摇头，“树已经不见了，但是她身上还带着它的光辉。懂我的意思吗？”
“Me too,” I told him, and we went inside.
“我也是。”我告诉他，然后我们走了进去。
I looked up, too, and noticed for the first time that night that you could see the stars. “Did you ever see her up there?” I asked him.
我也向上看，然后第一次注意到在那样的夜晚能够看见星星。“你以前见过她在上面吗？”我问他。
Right away we knew we’d stepped into a war zone. And even though no one was yelling or crying, from the look on my parents’ faces I could tell there’d been a major meltdown while my granddad and I were out.
我们一下就知道我们踏进了战争圈。虽然没有人在喊叫或是哭，但从我父母的脸色来看，在我和外公离开的时间这里发生了很大的战争。
As we walked up to our front porch, my grandfather put his arm around my shoulder and said, “It was nice walking with you, Bryce. I enjoyed myself very much.”
我们朝着前面的门廊走去，外公把手搭在了我肩上说：“能和你走走很好，布莱斯，我很享受。”
I wondered if Juli had ever been in the sycamore at night. Among the stars.
我想知道朱莉是否在夜晚爬上过梧桐树，被星星环绕。
I wanted nothing to do with that vibe. I went straight to my room, closed the door, and flopped through the darkness onto my bed.
在那样的环境下我什么都不想做。我直接回了房间，关上门，然后投入了床上一片黑暗之中。
I lay there awhile and let the dinner disaster play through my mind. And when I’d totally burned a fuse thinking about it, I sat up and looked out the window. There was a light on somewhere inside the Bakers’ house and the streetlights were glowing, but the night still seemed really dense. Like it was darker than usual and, I don’t know, heavy.
我清醒地躺在那儿，晚餐时灾难性的画面反复在脑海里上演。而我的想法让自己都觉得不舒服，我坐起来看着窗户。贝克家的某个房间灯还亮着，街灯也在发光，但是夜晚似乎还是弄得化不开。看起来比往常更加黑暗而沉重。
Granddad whispered to me, “I’ve got another fence to mend, I’m afraid,” and headed into the dining room to talk to my parents.
外公对我低语道：“还有一扇篱笆要补呢。”然后他走进了餐厅和我父母谈话。
I shook my head. Flat, glossy, iridescent. What was up with that? Juli Baker had always seemed just plain dusty to me.
我摇了摇头。浅薄？浮华？绚丽？那都是什么意思？朱莉·贝克在我看来一直都只是布满灰尘啊。
I snapped on my desk lamp and dug the newspaper with the article about Juli out of the drawer where I’d tossed it.
我突然打开了台灯，从抽屉里翻出了我以前扔进去的写了朱莉报道的报纸。
I leaned closer to the window and looked up into the sky, but I couldn’t see the stars anymore.
我向前倾靠近窗户，看向了天空，但是我不能再看见星星。
Just like I thought — they made it sound like Juli was trying to save Mount Rushmore or something. They called her a “strong voice in an urban wilderness” and “a radiant beacon, shedding light on the need to curtail continued overdevelopment of our once quaint and tranquil community.”
就像我想的那样——他们把朱莉写的像是她要去保护拉什莫尔山。他们叫她“城市沙漠中的有力声音”和“一座放光的灯塔，让人看清我们原先古朴宁静的社区需要摆脱持续的过度发展。”
And the odd thing is, it all made sense to me. She talked about what it felt like to be up in that tree, and how it, like, transcended dimensional space. “To be held above the earth and brushed by the wind,” she said, “it’s like your heart has been kissed by beauty.” Who in junior high do you know that would put together a sentence like that? None of my friends, that’s for sure.
而且最奇怪的事是，我居然会觉得这些都言之有理。她讲了在树上的感觉，还有怎样超越了空间的限度。“置身于世界之巅触摸风，”她说，“就像你的心在触摸美丽。”哪个初中生懂得写出这样的话呢？我的朋友一个也不会，这是肯定的。
Except. Except for the places where they quoted Juli. Maybe it was just in contrast to the reporter’s slant or something, but Juli’s parts didn’t come off oh-woe-is-me like I was expecting. They were, I don’t know, deep. Sitting in that tree was seriously philosophical to her.
除了，除了引用朱莉的话的地方。也许是因为对比了编辑倾向性报道的，但是朱莉的部分并不是像我所想的“哦，我好苦啊”。它们，也许更深刻。坐在那棵树上对朱莉来说有很大的哲学意义。
End of story. The piece in the paper was gag-me gush.
这就完了。报纸上的新闻对我来说就是个笑话。
There was other stuff, too, like how something can be so much more than the parts it took to make it, and why people need things around them that lift them above their lives and make them feel the miracle of living.
还有其他的东西，像有些东西是比它各个部分的总和大得多，还有为什么人们需要俯视他们的生活，让他们感受到奇迹。
Spare me. I mean, what’s wrong with letting a guy cut down a tree on his own property so he can build a house? His lot, his tree, his decision.
饶了我吧。我的意思是，一个人在自己的房地产上砍掉一棵树建一个房子有什么错？他的地，他的树，他的决定。
A month ago if I’d read this article, I would have chucked it in the trash as complete garbage, but for some reason it made sense to me now. A lot of sense.
一个月前如果我读到这篇文章，我会把它当做十足的垃圾扔进垃圾箱，但是现在它对我来说却是有道理的，有很多道理。
I wound up reading and re-reading her parts, wondering when in the world she started thinking like that. I mean, no kidding, Juli Baker’s smart, but this was something way beyond straight A’s.
我会一遍又一遍地读她的部分，心想她究竟什么时候开始有这样的想法。我的意思是，没错，朱莉·贝克很聪明，但是这些已经远远超过一个“优秀”了。
A month ago I also wouldn’t have paid any attention to the picture of Juli, but now I found myself staring at it. Not the one of the whole scene — that was more emergency rescue equipment than Juli. The other one, on the bottom half of the page. Someone must’ve used a killer telephoto lens, because you can tell that she’s in the tree, but it’s mostly from the shoulders up. She’s looking off into the distance and the wind is blowing her hair back like she’s at the helm of a ship or something, sailing into the sun.
一个月前我也不会注意到朱莉的照片，但是现在我却发现自己盯着它。不是整个的背景图——那张图片上的紧急援救设备比朱莉还多。是另外一张，在这页的下半部分。肯定是有人用了长焦镜头拍摄的，因为你能看出她在树上，可照片是从肩膀上方开始的。她正眺望着远方，风吹起她的头发，好像她正在船舵上，驶向太阳。
I’d spent so many years avoiding Juli Baker that I’d never really looked at her, and now all of a sudden I couldn’t stop. This weird feeling started taking over the pit of my stomach, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit. To tell you the truth, it scared the Sheetrock out of me.
我花了很多年避开她，却从没有真正看过她，而现在我突然无法停下来。这种奇怪的感觉充满了我的胃，我不喜欢这感觉。一点儿也没有。事实上，这吓到了我。
I made myself shut out the light and go to bed. I was slipping, man, and it was definitely time to get a grip.
我控制住自己关掉灯去睡觉。我终于摆脱了它，天哪，这绝对是时候学会控制自己了。
I buried the paper under my pillow and tried to remind myself of what a pain Juli Baker was. But my mind started to wander again, and pretty soon I had that stupid paper out from under my pillow.
我把那张报纸藏在了枕头下，并试着去告诉自己朱莉·贝克是个多么平凡的人。但是我的思想却开始迷失，没过多久我就把那张无聊的报纸从枕头下拿了出来。
This was insane! What was I doing?
这太疯狂了！我到底在做什么？
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