In one fairy tale from the Land-of-Almost-Awake, a girl from Miamas broke the curse and released the sea-angel. But Granny never explained how it happened.
在不眠大陆的童话故事中，一个密阿玛斯女孩打破了诅咒，解放了海天使。但外婆没有解释过那是怎么办到的。
Elsa sits by the desk of the woman with the black skirt in a chair that Elsa assumes must be for visitors. Judging by the cloud of dust that enveloped Elsa when she sat down, as if she’d accidentally stumbled into a smoke machine at a magic show, she decides the woman can’t have very many visitors. Ill at ease, the woman sits on the other side of the desk, reading and rereading the letter from Granny, though Elsa is quite sure by now that she’s only pretending to read it so she doesn’t have to start talking to Elsa. The woman looked as if she regretted it as soon as she invited Elsa in. A bit like when people in TV series invite vampires in and then, as soon as they’ve crossed the threshold, think “Oh shit!” to themselves just before they get bitten. At least this is what Elsa imagines one would be thinking in that type of situation. And that’s also how the woman looks. The walls of the office are covered in bookshelves. Elsa has never seen so many books outside a library. She wonders if the woman in the black skirt has ever heard of an iPad.
爱莎坐在黑裙女人桌前的椅子上，猜想这一定是给客人坐的。从坐下时升腾起的灰尘来看——就像不小心跌进了魔术表演的烟雾机里——那女人一定没有多少客人。女人自然而然地坐到了桌子另一侧，反复读着外婆的信，但爱莎敢肯定她只是装着在读信，就不用开口跟爱莎说话。女人似乎从邀请爱莎进门时就开始后悔了。就像电视剧里，人们邀请吸血鬼进门，等吸血鬼一跨过门槛，那些人就心想“哦，见鬼”然后就被咬了。至少这是爱莎想象中在那种情况下人们的想法。那女人看起来就是这样。办公室的墙壁被书架遮盖。爱莎在图书馆之外从未见过这么多书。她好奇黑裙女人是否听说过有样东西叫“平板电脑”。
Elsa remembers how Granny said that “the best stories are never completely realistic and never entirely made-up.” That was what Granny meant when she called certain things “reality-challenged.” To Granny, there was nothing that was entirely one thing or another. Stories were completely for real and at the same time not.
爱莎想起外婆曾说：“最好的故事从来不是完全真实的，也不是完全虚构的。”当外婆说要“重新解读事实”时，她就是这个意思。对外婆来说，任何事情都不是非黑即白。故事既可以是完全真实的，同时也可以是彻底虚构的。
And then, once again, her thoughts drift off to Granny and the Land-of-Almost-Awake. For if this woman is the sea-angel, basically she’s the third creature from that world, along with Wolfheart and the wurse, that lives in Elsa’s building. Elsa doesn’t know if this means that Granny took all her stories from the real world and placed them in Miamas, or if the stories from Miamas became so real that the creatures came across to the real world. But the Land-of-Almost-Awake and her house are obviously merging.
然后，再一次，她的思绪又转向了外婆和不眠大陆。基本可以判断这女人就是海天使，那么继狼心和呜嘶之后，她就是住在爱莎楼里的第三位童话世界的生物了。爱莎不知道这是不是意味着外婆所有的故事都是从真实世界中来的，然后才安置在密阿玛斯里，或者密阿玛斯的故事太真实，以至于这些生物也跑到真实世界里来了。但不眠大陆和她住的楼房显然相互融合了。
Elsa just wishes Granny had said more about the curse of the sea-angel, and how to break it. Because she supposes this is why she sent Elsa here, and if Elsa doesn’t figure out what to do she’ll probably never find the next letter. And then she’ll never find the apology for Mum.
爱莎只希望当初外婆能多讲点儿海天使的诅咒，以及限免的方法。她猜想这就是外婆派她来这里的原因，如果爱莎没弄明白该做什么，那她也许就再也找不到下一封信了。那她就永远找不到对妈妈的道歉了。
“I’ve never seen so many books, it’s almost insane. Haven’t you heard of an iPad?”
“我从没见过这么多书，简直疯了。你听说过平板电脑吗？”
The woman’s gaze suddenly moves up again. Lingers for a longer time on Elsa.
女人的视线突然又转回来，在爱莎身上停留了稍长一段时间。
Elsa sighs.
爱莎叹了口气。
“You can have all sorts of books on an iPad.”
“你在平板电脑上可以拥有各种各样的书。”
“I like physical books.”
“我喜欢纸书。”
“Did you ever hear about the woman who read herself to death?” asks Elsa.
“你听说过读书把自己读死的女人吗？”爱莎问。
“I like books.”
“我喜欢书。”
She looks up at the woman on the other side of the desk and clears her throat demonstratively. The woman’s eyelids flicker, but she keeps staring down at the letter.
她抬头看着桌子对面的女人，清清嗓子。女人的眼皮跳了跳，但她还是低头盯着信。
“You think I don’t like books? You can keep your books on the iPad. You don’t need a million books in your office.”
“你觉得我不喜欢书吗？你可以在平板电脑里存着书，不需要在办公室里放上一百万本书。”
“I don’t know what… it means,” says the woman almost fearfully.
“我不知道…那是什么意思。”女人近乎畏惧地说。
The woman’s pupils dither back and forth over the desk. She gets out a mint tab from a little box and puts it on her tongue, with awkward movements as if her hand and tongue belonged to two different people.
女人的眼神在桌前桌后乱瞟。她从一个小盒子里拿出一颗薄荷糖放在自己的舌头上，动作很笨拙，就好像她的手和舌头属于两个人。
The woman’s fingers tremble slightly. She peers at Elsa, a little as one peers at a person one meets outside a bathroom, where one has spent just a tad too long.
女人的手指微微发抖。她盯着爱莎，像两个人在厕所门口相遇时，外面的人盯着里面那个占坑时间太长的人的眼神。
The woman’s gaze glides up from the paper, brushes against her, and then flees back into the letter.
女人的视线从纸上移开，扫了她一眼，又逃回到信上。
The woman’s eyes close and open like large fans.
女人的眼睛睁开闭上，好似巨大的扇子。
The woman nods, with the slowest nod Elsa has seen in all her life. Elsa throws her arms out.
那女人点点头，这是爱莎这辈子见过最慢的点头。爱莎摊手。
“I like holding the book when I’m reading.”
“我喜欢读书时捧着书的感觉。”
“It’s from Miamas,” says Elsa.
“是密阿玛斯的谚语。”爱莎说。
“But, you know, do what you like! Have a million books! I was only, like, asking. It’s still a book if you’re reading it on an iPad. Soup is soup whatever bowl it’s in.”
“但无所谓啦，你开心就好！收一百万本书好了！我只是问问。你在平板电脑上读书，那还是本书。汤就是汤，不管装在什么碗里。”
“I’ve never heard that proverb.”
“我从没听过那句谚语。”
“I mean I like being able to turn the pages,” the woman tries to explain.
“我的意思是，我喜欢翻书页。”女人试图解释。
“You can hold an iPad.”
“你可以捧着平板电脑呀。”
“That’s not what I mean by ‘a book.’ I mean a ‘book’ in the sense of the dust jacket, the cover, the pages…”
“我说的‘书’不是那样的。我说的一本‘书’是指有书皮、封面、纸页的…”
“A book is the text. And you can read the text on an iPad!”
“书就是文本。你可以在平板电脑上读文本。”
The woman’s mouth moves spasmodically at the corners, spreading cracks in the surrounding skin.
女人的嘴角不时地抽动一下，在周围的皮肤上牵起褶皱。
“You can turn the pages on an iPad.”
“你能在平板电脑上翻书页的。”
She really doesn’t look like an angel, thinks Elsa. But on the other hand she doesn’t look like a drunk either. So maybe it evens itself out. Maybe this is how halfway creatures look.
爱莎想，她看起来真不像个天使。但另一方面，她看起来也不像醉鬼。所以扯平了。也许这就是混血生物的长相。
The woman looks down at her lap. Doesn’t answer.
女人低头看着自己的腿，没有回应。
“Why does he carry on like that with his hands?”
“为什么他老是和自己的手过不去？”
“I didn’t know you called him Wolfheart.”
“我不知道你叫他狼心。”
“Why did Granny bring Wolfheart here?” asks Elsa.
“为什么外婆要带狼心来这儿？”爱莎问。
“He washes his hands all the time. Like he’s trying to wash off a smell of poo, sort of thing.”
“他总是在洗手，就像是想洗掉屎的臭味一样。”
“Sorry — who?”
“不好意思——谁？”
“Sometimes the brain does strange things to one after a tragedy. I think maybe he’s trying to wash away…”
“经历过悲剧后，大脑有时会让人变得很奇怪。我觉得他是想要洗掉…”
“That’s his name. Why is he afraid of you if you don’t even know who he is?”
“那是他的名字。为什么你连他是谁都不知道，他却怕你？”
“Your grandmother brought him here to talk about the war. She thought I’d be able to help him, but he got scared of me. He got scared of all my questions and scared of… of his memories, I think,” she says at last. “He has seen many, many wars. He has lived almost his whole life at war, in one way or another. It does… does unbearable things to a human.”
“你外婆带他来这儿聊战争的事。她觉得我能帮他，但他害怕我。他害怕我所有的问题，害怕…他的记忆，我认为。”她最后说，“他见过许多、许多的战争。他的一生几乎都在战争中度过，这会给人造成很糟糕的影响。”
“Sorry?”
“什么？”
“You said Granny brought him here. And that’s why he’s afraid of you.”
“你说外婆带他来过。所以他害怕你。”
The woman puts her hands in her lap and studies them as if she just caught sight of them for the first time and wonders what in the name of God they’re doing there.
女人把双手放在大腿上，认真地研究着，面对爱莎的发问紧张又无措。
“There’s only one sort of soldier,” Elsa snorts.
“只有一种士兵。”爱莎不屑地说。
“You’re a terropist, aren’t you?”
“你是个治疗师，不是吗？”
“I don’t think he was that sort of soldier. He was a peace soldier.”
“我觉得他不是那种士兵。他是一名和平战士。”
Elsa shrugs. “He shouldn’t have become a soldier, then. It’s because of soldiers that we have wars.”
爱莎耸耸肩。“那他不该去参军的。因为有士兵才会有战争。”
“Is he sick in the head?”
“他脑子有毛病吗？”
She becomes silent. Looks down.
她陷入安静，低下头。
“What?” Elsa demands to know.
“什么？“爱莎要求知道。
“All people who have seen war are broken.”
“每一个经历过战争的人都是破碎的。”
“Can’t they be fixed, people who are sick in the head? Maybe it’s sort of rude to call them sick. Is it? Is he all broken up in the head?”
“脑子里生病的人治得好吗？也许叫他们病人有点儿没礼貌，是吗？他的脑子是不是坏了？”
“Excuse me?”
“什么？”
“Yes.”
“是。”
“Has he killed someone?”
“他杀过人吗？”
“I don’t know.”
“我不知道。”
“… the blood,” the woman concludes, emptily.
“…血。”女人无精打采地总结。
And she knows she’s a hypocrite for saying it. Because she hates soldiers and she hates war, but she knows that if Wolfheart had not fought the shadows in the War-Without-End, the entire Land-of-Almost-Awake would have been swallowed up by gray death. And she thinks a lot about that. Times you’re allowed to fight, and times when you’re not. Elsa thinks about how Granny used to say, “You have standards and I have double standards, and so I win.” But having double standards doesn’t make Elsa feel like a winner.
她知道自己这话说得很心虚。因为她恨士兵，恨战争，但她知道如果狼心没有在无尽战争中对抗暗影，那整个不眠大陆就会被灰色的死亡吞噬。她对此考虑了很多。何时可以战斗，何时不该战斗。爱莎想起外婆常说的“你有标准，而我有双重标准，所以我赢了”。但是“有双重标准”并没有让爱莎觉得像是个胜利者。
“Yes.”
“对。”
The woman doesn’t quite know how to respond to that one. Elsa throws out her arm defensively, and snorts, “Well, maybe it sounds stupid now, but it seemed more logical at the time! Everything seems obvious in hindsight!”
女人不知道该对此做何反应。爱莎防备地摊开手臂，鼻子里哼哼道：“好吧，现在听起来也许蠢，但一开始会以为合情合理啊！事后回头看，什么事都很简单嘛！”
“Oh, I thought it had something to do with bombs.”
“哦，我还以为跟炸弹有什么关系呢？”
The woman’s eyes waver.
女人的眼神摇摆不定。
“Because she knew you’d ask a lot of questions. As a psychologist, I suppose I’m used to being the one who asks the questions.”
“因为她知道你会问很多问题。作为一名心理治疗师，我大概习惯自己是那个问问题的人。”
“Registered psychotherapist.”
“注册心理治疗师。”
“Why?”
“为什么？”
Elsa nods.
爱莎点点头。
“Maybe so,” says the woman in a low voice that skims over Elsa’s thoughts.
“也许吧。”女人说，她低沉的声音掠过爱莎的思绪。
“Yes. Among… among other things.”
“嗯。还有…还有其他事情。”
“You don’t have very many patients here, do you?” says Elsa with a pointed nod across the room.
“你这儿没什么病人，对吧？”爱莎冲房间四周点了点头。
“And for sending me here?”
“还有派我来这儿？”
“What does ‘Reg. Psychoterropist’ mean?”
“你的头衔是什么意思？”
The woman does something with the corner of her mouth that Elsa thinks might be a smile of some kind. But it’s more like a stiff twitching, as if the muscles around her mouth are new to this game. Elsa looks around the office again. There are no photos here, as there were in the woman’s flat. Only books.
女人的嘴角动了动，爱莎觉得那大概是某种微笑，但更像是僵硬的抽搐，仿佛她嘴巴周围的肌肉是新来的。爱莎再一次环顾办公室。这里没有女人公寓里摆着的那种照片，只有书。
“What else does Granny write? Does she say sorry for not being able to save your family?”
“外婆还写了什么？她有没有说抱歉没能救下你的家人？”
The woman doesn’t answer. Her hands fidget with Granny’s letter. Elsa sighs impatiently.
女人没有回答。她的手摆弄着外婆的信。爱莎不耐烦地叹了口气。
“Do you have any Harry Potters?”
“你有《哈利·波特》吗？”
“That would be more of a philosophical question. So it’s difficult to answer.”
“这更像是哲学问题，所以很难回答。”
“You got any good ones, then?” she asks, scanning the shelves.
“那你有什么好书吗？”她浏览着书架。
“Not even one?” Elsa asks, incredulous.
“一本都没有？”爱莎不敢置信。
“No.”
“没有。”
“You have all these books and not a single Harry Potter? And they let you fix people whose heads are broken?”
“你有这么多书，却没有一本《哈利·波特》？他们居然还让你治疗脑袋坏掉的人？”
“I’ve stopped,” says the woman.
“我不抽了。”女人说。
The woman nods, setting a new record for slowness.
女人点点头，又创下了慢动作纪录。
The woman doesn’t answer. Elsa leans back and tips the chair in that exact way her mum really hates. The woman takes another mint from the tin on the desk. She makes a movement towards Elsa to offer her one, but Elsa shakes her head.
女人没有回答。爱莎向后靠，翘起椅子，这是妈妈最讨厌的样子。女人从桌上的铁罐里又拿了一颗薄荷糖。她伸向前想给爱莎一颗，但爱莎摇头拒绝了。
“Granny also used to have a lot of sweets when she couldn’t smoke, and she usually wasn’t allowed to indoors.”
“外婆不能抽烟的时候，就会吃很多糖，而室内往往禁烟。”
“Where did you meet Granny? Was it after the wave? Or is that also difficult to answer?”
“你在什么地方遇见外婆的？海啸之后？这也很难回答吗？”
The woman looks surprised. Elsa shrugs.
女人看上去很吃惊。爱莎耸耸肩。
“Stopped or taking a break? It’s not the same thing,” Elsa informs her.
“彻底戒了还是暂时不抽？这不是一回事。”爱莎对她说。
“I don’t know what you think is good,” the woman answers carefully.
“我不知道你觉得什么是好书。”女人谨慎地回答。
“No.”
“没有。”
“Do you smoke?” asks Elsa.
“你抽烟吗？”爱莎问。
Elsa shrugs again.
爱莎再次耸肩。
The woman’s hands take cover in her lap.
女人的双手覆在腿上。
“I like long stories.”
“我就喜欢听长的。”
“It’s a long story.”
“说来话长。”
“I was on holiday. Or… we… me and my family. We were on holiday. And it happened… an accident happened.”
“那是一个假期。我们…我和我的家人，我们正在度假，然后就发生了…那场意外。”
“The tsunami,” says Elsa gently.
“海啸。”爱莎温柔地说。
The woman’s gaze flies around the room and then she says, in passing, as if it only just occurred to her: “Your grandmother found… found me…”
女人的视线在房间里四处转，然后她轻描淡写地说，就像刚刚才想起来：“你外祖母找到…找到了我…”
The woman sucks so hard on the mint in her mouth that her cheeks look like Granny’s that time she was going to “borrow” petrol from Elsa’s dad’s Audi by sucking it out of a plastic tube.
女人用力吮着嘴里的薄荷糖，让她的脸颊看上去像那次外婆“借”爱莎爸爸奥迪里的汽油，用嘴通过一根塑料管把汽油吸出来时的样子。
“Drowned?” Elsa fills in, and then feels ashamed of herself when she realizes that it’s probably very unpleasant to speak that word to someone whose family did.
“淹死了？”爱莎自己填空，然后一阵尴尬。她意识到对失去家人的人说出那个词也许很不礼貌。
But the woman just nods, without looking angry. And then Elsa switches to the secret language and asks briskly: “Do you also know our secret language?”
但那女人只是点点头，并没有生气。爱莎改用秘密语言飞快地问了一句：“你也知道我们的秘密语言吗？”
“After my husband and my… my boys…” the woman begins to say. The last words stumble and fall into the chasm between the others as they pass. As if the woman had suddenly forgotten that she was in the middle of a sentence.
“在我丈夫和我的…我的儿子们…之后…”女人开口说。最后几个字磕磕绊绊含混不清，像是突然忘记了自己正在说话。
“Is this some kind of joke?”
“这是什么笑话吗？”
Elsa shrugs sourly.
爱莎不高兴地耸耸肩。
It was a test. And Elsa is surprised that the sea-angel doesn’t know the secret language, because everyone in the Land-of-Almost-Awake knows the secret language. But maybe that’s a part of the curse, she thinks.
这是测试，爱莎很惊讶，海天使竟然不知道秘密语言，因为不眠大陆的每个人都懂秘密语言。但也许这是诅咒的一部分，她想。
“Shouldn’t you be at school?”
“你不是应该在上学吗？”
Elsa shrugs.
爱莎耸肩。
“Ah, nothing,” Elsa mumbles in the usual language and looks down at her shoes.
“啊，没什么。”爱莎用正常语言小声说，然后低头看着自己的鞋子。
“I got it. Thanks.”
“我明白了。谢谢。”
“Excuse me?”
“你说什么？”
The woman looks into her eyes. Smiles faintly.
女人看着她的眼睛，微微笑了笑。
“If I’d been joking I would have said, a blind guy walks into a bar. And a table. And a couple of chairs.”
“如果我是在说笑话，我会说，一个瞎子走进一间酒吧，有一张桌子，还有几把椅子…”
“If you get it, laugh.”
“如果你明白了，大笑啊。”
“Have you been to Miamas?” asks Elsa.
“你去过密阿玛斯吗？”爱莎问。
The woman doesn’t answer. Elsa throws out her arms.
女人没有回答。爱莎摊开手臂。
“It’s Christmas holidays.”
“现在是圣诞假期。”
The woman nods. Probably more or less at a normal speed now.
女人点点头。现在差不多是正常速度了。
The woman looks at her watch.
女人看了看表。
“You get it? That a bliiind guy walks into a bar and a tab –“
“你明白了吗？一个瞎子走进一间酒吧，还有一张桌——”
“Did you think of that one yourself?” she asks after that.
“你自己想出来的吗？”她随后问。
The woman takes such a deep breath that if you threw a coin into it you’d never hear it hit the bottom.
女人深深吸了一口气，深到如果你扔个硬币进去，都听不到它触底的声音。
“Why?”
“为什么？”
“But why? I’ve walked halfway across the city to give you Granny’s letter and you’ve hardly had time to tell me anything and now you want me to leave? Do you get how cold it is out there?”
“但为什么？我穿过半个城市给你送外婆的信，而你什么都没告诉我就想让我离开？你知道外面有多冷吗？”
“My boys used to… they used to tell jokes like that. Asking something strange and then you had to answer and then they said something and laughed.” As she says the world “laughed” she stands up, her legs as fragile as the wings of paper planes.
“我的儿子们以前…以前很喜欢讲这种笑话。问一些奇怪的问题，然后你必须回答，然后他们又会接几句怪话，大笑起来。”她说到“大笑”这个词时站起身，她的腿就像纸飞机的机翼那么脆弱。
“I want you to leave,” the woman repeats in a hard voice.
“我想要你离开。”女人用冷酷的声音重复。
“About the blind guy.”
“瞎子那个。”
And then everything changes quickly. Her whole manner. Her way of talking. Even her way of breathing.
然后一切突然就变了，她整个人的态度、说话的方式，甚至是她呼吸的方式。
“Which one?” Elsa counters.
“哪个？”爱莎说。
“You… shouldn’t have come here.”
“你…不应该来的。”
“No. Granny told me.”
“不，外婆告诉我的。”
“I came here because you were Granny’s friend.”
“我来是因为你是外婆的朋友。”
“I think you should leave now,” she says, standing by the window with her back towards Elsa. Her voice is weak, but almost hostile.
“我认为你现在应该离开了。”她站在窗边，背对着爱莎。她的声音很虚弱，但充满敌意。
“Sure, you’re really managing bloody well. Really. But I’m not here out of charity,” Elsa manages to reply.
“当然，你自己过得还真好呢。真的。但我来这里可不是为了施舍。”爱莎顶撞回去。
“I don’t need charity! I can manage on my own,” says the woman grimly.
“我不需要施舍！我一个人就挺好。”女人严厉地说。
“Well, get out then, you little brat! Get the hell out!” hisses the woman, still without turning around.
“行了，快滚，你个小鬼！快滚出去！”女人还是没有转身。
Elsa starts breathing hard, frightened by the sudden aggression, and insulted by the woman not even looking at her. She hops off the chair with clenched fists.
爱莎猛喘着气，被突如其来的敌意吓到，那辱骂她的女人甚至都没有看着她。她跳下椅子，握紧拳头。
And then it goes as with all anger attacks. They don’t just consist of one anger, but of many. A long series of angers, flung into a volcano in one’s breast until it erupts. Elsa is angry at the woman in the black skirt because she doesn’t say anything to make anything more understandable in this idiotic fairy tale. And she’s angry at Wolfheart for abandoning her because he’s afraid of this idiotic psychoterropist. And most of all she’s angry at Granny. And this idiotic fairy tale. And all those angers together are too much for her. She knows long before the word leaves her lips how wrong it is to yell it out: “DRUNK! YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A DRUNK!!!”
全部愤怒袭来。这不仅仅是一团怒火，是很多很多，一系列的愤怒，流入胸膛中的火山直至喷发。爱莎对黑裙女人生气，因为她没有提供任何让这个白痴童话故事更清楚的线索。她对狼心生气，他因为害怕这个白痴心理治疗师而抛下她。但她最气的是外婆，以及这个白痴童话故事。所有这些愤怒对她来说全都无法承受。说出口前她便已知道喊出这种话有多不对：“酒鬼！你就是个酒！鬼！！！”
“Right, then! So my mum was wrong when she said you were just tired! And Granny was right! You’re just a bloody –“
“好吧！所以我妈妈说你只是累了肯定是错的！外婆是对的！你就是个该死的——”
She regrets it terribly in the same instant. But it’s too late. The woman in the black skirt turns around. Her face is contorted into a thousand broken pieces of a mirror.
喊出口的一瞬间，她就已经深深后悔。但太迟了。黑裙女人转过身。她的脸仿佛在镜子的一千片碎片中扭曲变形。
“Out!”
“滚！”
And Elsa runs.
爱莎跑了。
“I didn’t m –,” Elsa begins to say, reeling backwards across the office floor, holding out her hands, wanting to apologize.”Sorr –“
“我的意思不是…”爱莎摇摇晃晃地向后退，伸出双手，想要道歉。“对不——”
“Elsa.” Alf’s voice can be heard from the front door. Absolutely cut-and-dried. Not like a question. “Come on, for Christ’s sake,” he grunts. “Let’s go home. You can’t lie there bloody sobbing your heart out.”
“爱莎。”阿尔夫的声音从前廊传来，硬邦邦、干巴巴的，不像是在询问。“快来，天啊，”他低吼道，“我们回家吧。你不能躺在这儿，哭得死去活来的。”
“OOOUUUT!” screams the woman, hysterically clawing at the air as if looking for something to throw at her.
“滚！！！”女人尖叫，歇斯底里地在空中抓来抓去，似乎想找什么东西来扔她。
She hurtles along the corridor and down the stairs and through a door to the vestibule, sobbing so violently that she loses her footing, tumbles blindly, and falls headlong. She feels her backpack whack against the back of her head and waits for the pain when her cheekbone meets the floor. But instead she feels soft, black fur. And then everything bursts for her. She hugs the enormous animal so hard that she can feel it gasping for air.
她沿着走廊猛冲，下楼，穿过前厅门，哭得一塌糊涂，脚步跌跌撞撞，头冲前摔了下去。她感觉背包砸在后脑勺上，等着颧骨撞击地面的疼痛，却感觉到了柔软的黑色毛皮。爱莎的情绪彻底崩溃。她紧紧抱着巨大的动物，紧得它都快缺氧了。
Elsa wants to yell out the whole story to Alf. Everything about the sea-angel and how Granny sends her out on idiotic adventures and she doesn’t even know what she’s expected to do, and how Wolfheart abandoned her when she needed him most and everything about Mum and the “sorry” Elsa had hoped to find here, and everything about Halfie who will come and change everything. How Elsa is drowning in loneliness. She wants to shout it all out to Alf. But she knows he wouldn’t understand anyway. Because no one does when you’re almost eight.
爱莎想对阿尔夫喊出整件事。关于海天使的所有事情；外婆派她进行这档子狗屁冒险，而她根本不知道该做什么；狼心在她最需要他的时候抛下了她；妈妈的事情；爱莎希望在这里找到的“道歉”，还有“小半”的到来会改变一切。爱莎陷入深深的孤单之中。她想要统统喊给阿尔夫听，但她知道他无论如何都不会明白。因为没人能理解一个快要八岁的孩子。
“You gave me the damned address,” he mutters. “Someone had to bloody pick you up. I’ve been driving a taxicab for thirty years, so I know you just don’t leave little girls anywhere, any-old-how.” He’s quiet for a few breaths before adding, into the floor: “And your grandmother would have bloody beaten the life out of me if I hadn’t picked you up.”
“你给了我这该死的地址。”他咕哝地抱怨，“总得有人接你回去吧。我已经开了三十年的出租车，我知道不能抛下个小姑娘不管，无论在哪里，无论她几岁。”他停了几秒钟，接着补充道，“而且如果我不来接你，你那个外婆会把我活活打死的。”
Elsa nods and wipes her face on the wurse’s pelt.
爱莎点点头，在呜嘶的毛皮上擦干脸。
“What are you doing here?” she sobs.
“你在这里干什么？”她啜泣着问。
“Is that thing coming as well?” Alf asks grouchily. The wurse looks back at him even more grumpily. Elsa nods and tries not to start crying again.
“那玩意儿也一起来的？”阿尔夫一脸不乐意地问。呜嘶回看向他，更加暴躁。爱莎点点头，试着不让眼泪再掉下来。
“Like what?”
“比方说？”
Elsa lowers her face into the wurse’s pelt. Alf swears a bit in the front, and then after a while he passes her a paper bag. It has the same writing on it as the bakery where Granny always went.
爱莎低头，把脸埋进呜嘶的毛里。阿尔夫在前面骂骂咧咧了几句，然后递给她一个纸袋，上面的字和外婆经常去的那家面包店一样。
“What the hell’s that got to do with it?”
“这他妈有啥关系啊？”
“It’ll have to go in the trunk, then,” says Alf firmly.
“那它得蹲进行李箱里。”阿尔夫坚定地说。
“I don’t know. Coffee?”
“我不知道。咖啡？”
“Is there anything you want?”
“你想要点儿什么吗？”
Elsa raises her head and glares at him.
爱莎抬起头，盯着他。
But obviously that is not how things end up. Elsa keeps her face buried in its fur all the way home. It’s one of the very, very best things about wurses: they’re waterproof.
显然不可能这样做。爱莎在回家的路上一直将脸埋在它的毛里。这是呜嘶们最好、最好的一点：它们防水。
“Do you know any seven-year-olds who drink coffee?”
“你认识哪个七岁小孩喝咖啡的？”
There’s opera coming from the car stereo. At least Elsa thinks it must be opera. She hasn’t really heard very much opera, but she’s heard it mentioned and she supposes this is what it sounds like. When they’re about halfway home, Alf peers with concern at her in the rearview mirror.
车载音响里传来歌剧声。爱莎觉得那应该是歌剧。她没听过多少歌剧，但她听说过，她觉得这应该就是歌剧听上去的感觉。出租车行至半路，阿尔夫从后视镜里担心地看着她。
“Well, bloody forget it, then,” he grunts.
“那就算了。”他小声发牢骚。
“I can tell.”
“看得出来。”
“I’m seven!”
“我才七岁！”
“I don’t know very many seven-year-olds.”
“我不认识什么七岁小孩。”
“There’s a cinnamon bun in there,” he says, adding, “But don’t bloody cry all over it or it won’t taste good.”
“里头有个肉桂卷。”他又加了一句，“别哭哭啼啼的，把它搞湿就不好吃了。”
Elsa cries on it. It’s good anyway.
肉桂卷还是沾上了爱莎的眼泪，依然很好吃。
When they get to the house she runs from the garage up to the flat without even thanking Alf or saying good-bye to the wurse, and without thinking about how Alf has seen the wurse now and might even call the police. Without saying a word to him, she walks right past the dinner that George has put on the kitchen table. When Mum comes home she pretends to be asleep.
回到家时，她从车库直接跑回了公寓，没有谢谢阿尔夫，也没有跟呜嘶说再见，更没有想过阿尔夫现在会怎么对待呜嘶，说不定会报警。没有跟乔治说一个字，她直接无视了他摆在厨房桌子上的晚餐。妈妈回家时，她假装已经睡着了。
And when the drunk starts yelling on the stairs that night, and the singing starts again, Elsa, for the first time, does what all the others in the house do.
那晚，当醉鬼开始在楼道大喊大叫又开始唱歌时，爱莎第一次，和这栋楼房里的其他人一样。
She pretends she doesn’t hear.
她假装自己没有听见。
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